656: Tylenol Lives Matter Edition

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Warning, this show contains foul language.

It also contains fair language, but I don't think we need to warn you about that.

This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the new erotic memoir by J.D.

Vance, Beat spray, love seat, and now Scathing Atheist.

Hey, cats and kittens, it's Smokey Joe from the Joe Blow for Show Show podcast, assuring you that we did in fact evolve from Filthy Monkey Man.

It's Thursday.

It's September 25th, and it's ataxia awareness day.

Especially when something attacks you from behind.

I'm Eli Cosnick.

That's where they always come from.

I'm Heath Enright.

And from Dr.

Oz's, New Jersey and Ann Arbor, Michigan, this is the Scathing Atheist.

On this week's episode, the White House finds the connections between JC and CK.

Rumor has it that Ryan Walters fucked a pile of flour during a Board of Education Zoom call.

And Don Ford will be here to read Paul's homophobic letter to the Romans.

But first, the rest of the intro music.

They're talking about your Jesus.

a special news bulletin.

Joining me for headlines tonight is the tofuti to my everything bagel, Eli Bosnick.

Eli, you ready to spread the word?

That's right, Heath.

Once you get used to me, I'm not that bad.

Okay.

Honestly, I've had some tofu before now.

Right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just don't have real cream cheese

within a calendar month of tofu.

And you're like, sure, that's what cream cheese tastes like.

Then do it.

Fucking Philadelphia on the same table?

Unfair.

No, kills it.

Absolutely.

Unkind.

Tofu is great.

Tofu, yeah, give it a month of buffer.

Exactly.

Strategy.

Much like me, the co-host of the podcast.

Hi, new listener.

A month of buffer is how we are palatable as podcasters.

Go listen to a month of Joe Rogan and you'll really appreciate me.

All right.

Welcome, new listener.

Here we go in our lead story tonight.

They're gone.

Nobody's here.

Okay.

In our lead story tonight, the alt-right debate bro is a Christian martyr now.

This fucking sucks.

About 90,000 people packed into a football stadium in Arizona on Sunday.

There was like spillover areas, too, maybe close to 100,000 if you count all the different spots, 70,000 at least in the stadium.

And that included our highest-level government officials.

And of course, they were attending the memorial service for Charlie Kirk.

That includes Donald Trump.

JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Pam Bondi, RFK Jr., Pete Hegseth, the wrestling lady in charge of education, the guy from Road Rules who runs transportation.

Lady who shot the dog, who's in charge of Homeland Security, the lady who skins the dogs for Coates, who's in charge of national intelligence, and the senator who uses that leftover skin for his face.

That'd be Ted Cruz.

Yeah.

But also some important cultural figures were there too, like Dana White, head of the UFC,

Punchy Kicky Company, Lee Greenwood, the guy who does the Bible printing stuff,

and Kyle Rittenhouse was there.

He's the guy who famously did two vigilante killings and is not in jail.

So that was thematic, I guess, to have Kyle Rittenhouse.

there.

That's cool.

And they made this whole thing into a truly wild display of Christian right insanity and theocracy.

It was terrifying.

Yeah, honestly, I was surprised that Kyle didn't do a pro killing people you don't like with a gun speech to kind of balance out the rest of the event.

But then the president actually did that.

So it kind of makes me say, I was like, why aren't guys?

Compared notes with the president is what happened.

Do you think they gave Rittenhouse a chance to be on the dais for a second?

Do you think he was like they looked over his speech and they were like, ah,

Donald's covering one S.

Yes,

we got it.

We got it.

Can't believe he's in there.

Can't believe he's even free.

Whatever.

So I'll start with the tribute from Marco Rubio, our Secretary of State, and like seven other restaurant jobs because there were like no call, no shows at this administration.

And this was a scary moment.

Marco had to speak for about seven minutes, I think, and he almost died from the opposite of drowning.

He did, Mr.

Sharon.

The mouth, the dry, he almost dried.

Nobody had a tiny little water bottle to give him.

And his mouth, it just sucked up further.

It looked like a sarlock by the end.

I thought he was going to die.

I thought we were going to pan around and the girl from the ring would just be gently holding onto the back of his neck.

Sadly, sadly, no, but somehow he pushed through and delivered his very evangelical message, literally telling the gospel story of Jesus Christ getting murdered and then resurrected.

Yeah.

And look, I get why he went for that.

I mean, it did work for the rest of the New Testament, so I understand it's a popular.

Yeah.

It's effective.

People went fuck wild for that one.

They were very excited.

So Rubio's was probably the least offensive and terrifying speech of the day.

The rest of the squad really played up the martyr thing, really scary.

That includes J.D.

Vance, who called Charlie Kirk a hero to the United States of America and a martyr for the Christian faith.

But that didn't have quite enough threatening threatening implications, I guess.

So that was followed by Secretary of Fear, I think, Stephen Miller,

who hoped for a spiritual uprising in the wake of Charlie Kirk's death.

That's technically, I guess, not a call to violence, but I guess it is.

Yeah, it's Stephen Miller, so it feels like it is.

Yeah, Stephen Miller is a walking, talking call to violence.

And look, I know it's not going to be popular to say, especially with our listeners, but I think Stephen Miller was brave for exposing himself to sunlight like that.

I was told he would turn into a cloud of dust if that happened.

And the fact that he took that risk, you got to admire it.

He did not.

Maybe he's a sparkly one, but I didn't see him sparkle.

I don't know.

Nothing.

He looks like a Nosferatu trying to blend in and failing.

And somehow like an evil universe accountant all at the same time.

Yeah.

So, yeah, lots of terrifying incitement vibes, but there was one moment that I did find impressive.

It was the acting chops of Erica Kirk, Charlie's widow.

She mentioned how Jesus Christ, while being crucified, said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

And then she addressed the guy who killed her husband in just theory and said, I forgive you through tears.

And I think she's lying and she was faking it.

Wow.

Sorry.

I know it's kind of awkward to have a moment of genuine disagreement on the air, but I think that's a pretty foul thing to say, Heath.

Erica Kirk's acting chops are not impressive at all.

Like, not at all.

No.

You weren't fooled at all.

Wasn't buying it.

No.

I don't know.

She got those tears going.

She got the whole thing.

If you want good chops, get Daniel Daly.

Get Rob Schneider up there.

Rob Schneider.

Feel like talent.

He was considered for.

He was probably sitting next to Rittenhouse.

He was probably snubbed for the...

Look, if I say, I say it every episode, but this one we're keeping it in.

Rob Schneider was snubbed for the Oscar for Deuce Bigelow, Male Jacob.

And if you don't like it,

so much for the intolerant left.

Yeah, yeah, it's gone too far with the wokeism.

That's what kept him out of that.

That award.

Noah gets back from his trip.

Hey, did you guys go all right for Deuce Bigelow Male Jacobs?

Just the first one.

It's the second.

The worst reason to go all right.

The love guru, I thought, was also good.

Also moving.

Mike Myers.

Master of disguise

so

yeah okay charlie kirk's widow i don't know we could debate i suppose her acting chops the only person with a real honest take though during this whole thing was surprisingly donald trump or maybe unsurprisingly he came out after erica kirk and he basically said the honest opposite of her Christian lie that all the Christians are always doing with that like, I forgive you bullshit.

Trump praised Charlie Kirk for having a spirit of love for his political opponents and wanting the best for them.

Charlie was also lying.

Also, he never said that you're lying about the thing he's lying in.

He did not want the best at all.

It was his entire thing was quite the opposite.

But then Trump said, That's where I disagreed with Charlie.

I hate my opponent and I don't want the best for them.

And that was

actually a big laugh line for Trump at the funeral memorial thing he was doing a stadium of people laughing at that one and then Trump kind of closed the loop on America equals Christianity going from Christian martyr to American martyr by saying our greatest evangelist for American liberty became immortal he's a martyr now for American freedom he's a useful weapon for me to murder people with Sorry, after you all applauded for the hate thing, I kind of thought we were just saying the quiet parts out loud.

Too far.

Too far.

Good to know.

It's

really, really close to that.

He was all the way honest.

Not quite Eli's thing.

He was thinking it.

That's, you know, it's implied.

And just a final thought about the visuals of this whole thing.

I couldn't watch the thing, but I saw some crowdshot photos in the articles I was reading about it.

And one of the photos was...

taken during a moment of praying, according to the caption, a lot of praying during this thing.

So there's a bunch of hands in in the air.

That's to be expected when there's praying, but lots of Roman salutes in there, too.

Like, I really,

you're really, there's a few people with two hands, but a lot of one-handers in there.

A lot of one-handers.

And then I saw some individual shots of the people from the administration at the thing.

And somehow they all look exactly guilty of their own personal brand of shittiness.

Like their face is just capturing each of them and their evil.

Just right.

Yeah.

Podcast listener Heath has included a montage of sorts of these photos.

I put a little sampling for you.

Yeah.

In our notes.

Accessible at patreon.com forward slash saving atheist.

And Marco Rubio looks like he's being driven by a caseworker back to dad's house and he does not want to go.

He doesn't care what that judge says.

He's so sad.

He's so sad.

God, he's defeated.

I know people.

He knows what he's done.

I know the evil ones are melting and they're fun to laugh at.

But the ones who just did it for the short dollar and are now trapped in the literal Nazi party, that's

it gives me a.

He's only medium evil in his heart, but he's gone fully and he's stuck there.

His eyes just knowing that he's committed, as they say.

Ah, my heart's only medium evil and I've done something much, much worse now.

Yeah.

He also has that crazy shadow thing all the time.

He looks like a, like a Harvey Dent scenario a lot in his pictures.

Yeah.

But all all of them, like, you know, the administration of Dorian Gray in this collection of pictures I saw.

In this collage, yeah.

And in Can You Believe It news.

Just when you thought...

Just Levitt, because Carrie.

Yeah, it is.

That's her name.

Just when you thought the canonization of Charlie Kirk couldn't get scarier or more literal, the Trump administration is now attributing actual Christ-like miracles to his death.

So we're going to talk about it.

Yeah.

When Christ died, that region saw rising bigotry and the persecution of minority religions by a fascist empire.

That was a long time ago with like Italian people.

Exactly.

I'm sure it'll be fun.

Live and don't learn.

That's what they always say.

Nothing to worry about.

So before we jump in here, I want to give a big shout out to Eleanor for sending us this story as her very first contribution to scathingnews at gmail.com.

You can send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com, just like Eleanor did, and fulfill your mission.

We have the watch, Eleanor.

See you in Valhalla.

Yeah.

Apparently, Eleanor died at the bottom of the

PS.

Yeah, it was her PS.

I feel weird about the ooh.

I feel like that was the wrong vibe.

Should have warned you ahead of time.

I should have warned you.

She died.

That's a new policy in our company.

You got to stay.

Valhalla.

You got to just stay ahead if we're meeting anybody in Valhalla, man.

You got to start with if you're not.

You got to text ahead.

Right.

So the miracle in question was noticed by White House press secretary and woman so humorously fascist.

We just kept pretending she's Sarah Huckabee Sanders for our schedule.

Caroline Levitt,

who took to Instagram, sharing a post that said, quote, on the night Charlie was shot, a 4.1 earthquake struck Utah.

In scripture, 40 represents trials.

What?

41 signifies a shift, end quote.

That's nothing.

So, so this was a...

10% of a shift?

That's that's riveting Caroline Levitt.

It's also, I don't know, 10% of Montana, the 41st state, and and Niobium, the element number 41.

George H.W.

But 10% of George H.W.

Bush.

Yes.

So cool

how numbers work.

Fascinating.

But the post goes on.

It goes on.

Quote, it hit at 5.57 local time, 7.57 Eastern.

You can't use that.

Get the fuck out of here.

Okay.

She's going to use 7.57 now?

Well, first of all, she didn't write it.

She just shared it.

I want to give her the credit.

She just shared the post.

She's not the author, but here's the best part about about it.

Nonetheless, we now know that that author went, okay, great.

Let me look at all 557 and all the fucking books and was like, I got nothing

from this shit.

Eastern standard.

P-E-I time.

857 is good.

I will use Pacific if I am absolutely forced to, but motherfuck.

It continues.

757 Eastern.

Acts 757 describes Stephen, the first martyr, stoned as the crowd silenced his truth.

The Bible says the earth trembles when God is angry.

That night, as the voice was silenced, the ground groaned.

End quote.

And then Carolyn Levitt both shared that post and then retweeted it on Twitter with the caption, Wow.

Okay.

So there was no martyr in the Bible named fucking Charlie, so they couldn't use that, I guess.

Also, just for the record, Kirk got shot at 12:23 p.m.

local time.

So that means God, A, A, chose for that to happen at 12:23 p.m.

Utah time.

God watched it happen, and then he like hung out for five and a half hours,

played a little bilatro, did a few runs, and then he was like, oh, yeah, just to shake, earth, shake, shake, shake, shake.

It's like, you know how the Times took a really long time to announce?

Like, it didn't wait until the evening until they told us he was actually dead.

Like, God was just refreshing the New York Times feed before he was willing to throw that earthquake out there.

Feels like God could have waited until the Eastern timeline, you know, or the local timeline.

Because he's Jewish.

That's what you're saying.

That's why he's

right.

So all of this is very silly.

But again, this is 2025.

And at the rate things are going, I just hope they give Charlie Abbs as ripped as they usually give Jesus when they start depicting him nailed to the cross by transferries.

I've seen some interesting art already.

We have.

We really, really have.

And in

Assy Tomato Fountain Pen news,

acetaminophen.

Well, no, no.

Well, the president of the United States tried to say the word acetaminophen during a press conference on Monday.

It went very badly.

After several tries, somebody off camera clearly made hard eye contact with Trump and like whisper-yelled the correct answer.

And Trump just copied the noise acetaminophen once.

And then he, yeah, he started saying Tylenol for the rest of the thing.

But that actually made it worse when he finally got acetaminophen correct because Trump was finally able to tell the entire country that taking acetaminophen during pregnancy is causing autism in the fetus.

Decades of evidence would suggest otherwise, but decades of evidence didn't get an opportunity to speak at the press conference.

No, it did not.

And as usual, the majority of experts did not agree with the announcement about science from Donald Trump.

Honestly, if you're a historian, like looking back, trying to sum up the last decade through the archives, evidence didn't get an opportunity to speak.

It's a quick and easy way to do it.

I would consider it, you know, maybe the title of your book.

Evidence got bumped for Kyle Rittenhouse and fucking Rob Schneider on that set list.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

So let's start with the basics.

Acetaminophen is a pain reliever and fever reducer.

And most people, yeah, know it is Tylenol.

Trump eventually did switch.

Yeah, because

words are tricky.

And he said Tylenol the rest of the time.

In terms of a connection to autism, if I'm being like truly generous as fucking possible to Trump's announcement.

I don't know why I'm doing that, but I'm going to try just for the sake of argument.

I'll say the science is unsettled.

That would be like the most generous.

Because the universe isn't finite.

Yeah, right.

It's not finite, technically.

So that's true.

Gravity is a hypothesis.

Right.

It's just the theory.

It's a theory of science stuff.

Yeah.

So included in the aforementioned decades of existing research, there's a major study of about 2 million people from last year that found found no association between acetaminophen and autism.

But there's also a meta-study published last month of 46 different studies that did find evidence of an association overall.

But the authors of that meta-study were very clear about saying they found correlation, but not causation.

And one of those authors, epidemiologist Anbauer, heard their research might get mentioned by Trump.

And before the announcement even happened from Trump, Bauer said, quote, I'm a little concerned about how this message is going to come because I think they may be jumping the gun.

I think those of us in the research community would like to see stronger evidence, end quote.

Or in other words, shut the fuck up.

You can't even name the drug.

Let us do more science.

Oh my God, my heart goes out so much to this woman because she's like, she's a doctor or a researcher or a professor at some lab who spent her life combing through data, making sure she's not doing things wrong, checking and double-checking, publishing for peer review.

And one morning, she woke up to a phone call and she was just like, What?

Oh, what's that?

My life's work has been forever derailed by Trump's unsuccessful attempt to make everyone forget about the Epstein files.

Donald Trump wants to use your thing for a science announcement.

I'm Caroline Levitt.

So that people will stop thinking about the Epstein files and it's not going to work.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Yeah,

I saw a fun meme that was just like, Tylenol, release the files, nice try.

Great.

Yeah.

So naturally, with a big announcement about the science surrounding pregnancy and autism, you're going to consult with professional groups that have expertise on that stuff, like the American Academy of Pediatrics or the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

Trump and R.K.

Jr.

consulted with approximately zero of those groups.

And we know that because Trump made the announcement instead of getting yelled at by doctors on the phone and then shutting the fuck up about all science forever.

What he might have learned on the phone is that acetaminophen is one of the only safe remedies for pain and fever during pregnancy.

Also, that there is evidence, pretty fucking clear evidence, that a serious fever can be dangerous to a fetus during pregnancy.

Yeah, it turns out there's a pretty solid connection there.

But that phone call never happened.

So we all watched Donald Trump flanked by RFK Jr.

and Dr.

Oz, Dr.

Mehmet

Oz of New Jersey and tried to run in Pennsylvania like a carpetbagger.

The two of them, RFK Jr.

and Mehmet Oz, flanking him.

And they were all telling pregnant women to tough it out.

Exact words from Trump several times.

Right.

And I want to be clear about something, right?

Because the point of this bullshit, well, first of all,

it's not really a point, right?

Chaos in the universe.

But if there was a point to this bullshit, it's to sell alternatives to real medicine, right?

The Venn diagram of women women most likely to believe Donald Trump, just in case, and women who will try homeopathy or alternative medicine is a fucking circle.

Yeah, yeah.

Just horribly, horribly dangerous thing they've done.

That's cool.

And just in case it wasn't already clear, this was just another insane whim from RFK Jr., who has an obsession with bad science surrounding autism.

He claims to be focused on this because of the recent explosion in autism, but the actual reality is that we have a new definition for that diagnosis as part of a broad spectrum, which obviously increases the known rates because that's how that works, just as a numbers thing.

And of course, the topic of autism requires a stupid fucking claim about vaccines as well, if RFK Jr.

is involved.

You got to get one of those in there.

Kennedy got Trump to call for changing.

Freebird.

That's shut up.

Shut on autism, Bexie.

Freebird.

This debunked study from so long ago.

Yeah.

Kennedy got Trump to call for changing the childhood vaccination schedule.

Instead of using the one that was, you know, calibrated over decades by fucking scientists who know what they're doing, they want to spread it out more, including a delay on the hepatitis B vaccine for newborns.

Just for the record, that newborn timing, there's a reason for it.

It pretty much eradicated the infection for kids because you can get hepatitis B during birth.

So they do that vaccine right away.

But according to Trump and Bobby Deuce, that's neither here nor there.

And Trump said childhood vaccines, quote, it's too much liquid.

Too many things are going into that baby.

That's the real quote.

That's the real quote.

That's the real quote.

That was the exact words.

It was a volume of liquid issue, apparently.

Listen, people, can we give it to the babies as a key bump?

I'm spitballing here, but who are they fucking?

Hep B?

Come on.

The babies.

Okay, that was another thing Trump actually said.

I think he said he wants it to be age age 12 for the Hep B vaccine.

And his justification was it's a sexually transmitted disease.

And then he thought to himself, what's the good age?

12?

Got it.

What is it my good friend Jeopardy told me?

Shit, shit.

I was supposed to distract you all from this.

Tylenol.

That shit are just up.

We were so good.

Advil is bad.

I drew him a picture for his birthday.

Like a child.

Okay.

Here's the thing.

Just remember, that was all nothing.

Much like RFK Jr.

told us outright during a congressional hearing that we should not take medical advice from him tacitly because he's a fucking idiot and knows nothing about medical stuff, Donald Trump said the same thing.

So technically, you can't get mad about the press conference and it was for novelty purposes only.

Trump clarified that he's not speaking for doctors and he said, quote, I'm just making these statements from me.

That was part of the press conference.

So it's just novelty medical advice at a national televised press conference.

Yeah.

And in more like AIV news,

regular listeners to our show will remember that last week, our very own technology correspondent, Heath, Computer, Cyberspace, and Wright, reported on a new line of AI religious guides sweeping the nation.

Cyber Ninja.

Cyber Ninja.

Yes, exactly.

Well, as we suspected, Pope Bob continues to be a listener and has taken Heath's advice to heart, nixing the idea of a virtual version of himself for one-on-one pulp consultations.

I would never tell Pope Bobby to block that.

I would love.

Did I like black out last week?

Did I really tell him not to do that?

You told him not to do it.

You said it was bad.

I would check in with Bobby Bot all the time.

Oh, if it did the voice, especially if you had a Chicago Bobby bot, Pope.

I would have him on the show.

I would have him on the show to do like, and now let's turn over things to Bobby Bot.

Bob, what do you think?

And he'd be like, ah, Jesus fucking Christ.

Ah, I don't care for that.

Get a hot dog.

Fair.

That's what he talks like to us who have never heard him speak because we don't give a shit.

Right.

So, first off, big thanks to Chad for sending us this story to scathing news at gmail.com.

Chad, for sending us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com.

You can access the virtual version of me by listening to this podcast.

I may be an AI simulation and voice clone since I died in 2022, but I'm still just as sponsored by Squarespace.

Scathingnews at gmail.com.

Ah, he's hallucinating.

It's my sheets rock.

That's the Heath one.

The Heath ones sponsored by the Sheets.

Bamboo Rayon.

Oh, best in class.

Holy Grail.

Name all the classes of sheets you know right now.

You can't.

Name one that's in the Holy Grail category.

You can't.

You know, exactly.

That's good.

My sheets.

Bobby comes.

Yeah, Bobby.

He knows.

He knows all the grails.

This guy gets it.

This guy Fox.

He's wearing the sheets for the Pope hat.

Okay.

So, AI Pope came up in an interview with Elise Allen, a journalist and author, where the Pope said,

Someone recently asked authorization to create an artificial me so that anybody could sign on to this website and have a personal audience with the Pope.

Jump into Boston, back to Chicago.

I like it.

This artificial intelligence pulp would give them answers to their questions.

And I said, I'm not going to authorize that.

And exact quote that I just did a voice for.

That's exactly what the Bobby bot would sound like in my head.

It'd be amazing.

So fun.

I'm the Pope.

Shy Town.

Tie Town.

You don't like the chili.

It's okay.

Thin crust pizza.

No, thank you.

Yeah.

So the Pope would then go on to say that.

That was the last Chicago.

So we know we have covered everything this podcast knows about Chicago.

Tom and Cecil.

There you go.

We did it.

The Pope would go on to say, well, actually, a bunch of pretty insightful stuff about technology and the way we relate to each other as human beings, but I'm not going to quote any of that shit because Is he like a good guy or something?

He's probably covering up kid rape.

I'm not, like I said, that's bad.

Yeah, I will be damned if I start praising the Pope on this show.

But what matters is.

If you are interested in deep religious answers to the truths of the universe, don't create an AI pope.

Go straight to the source with chatwithjesus.app.

There you'll find a biblically accurate Jesus that you should definitely pass along to any conservative family members who need references about their beliefs and the communist manifesto.

Chatwithjesus.app, everybody.

Yeah, about who's getting eaten when and where.

Costs our company quite a bit of money to maintain that website.

And in trend of days news, as we record this, the rapture was supposed to happen yesterday or maybe sometime today.

New Zealand, you're running out of time.

I saw someone reported from South Korea.

It was like, well, it's not happening here.

So I can assure you of that.

Now, okay.

Okay.

We're talking about a rapture.

I realize it's very possible that I personally wouldn't notice for a while if there was a rapture.

But I did ask Alexa when I woke up and she said, sorry, I don't know that one.

So she's in on it and it's probably happening later today.

I also like that you responded like you were asking her to tell a joke she didn't know the punchline to.

Like, you're not familiar.

Yeah.

I think think my exact words were, was there a rapture yesterday?

And it was, sorry, I don't know that one.

And then, is there a rapture happening today?

And it was like a different non-committal answer.

Kind of

starts reading you the weather.

No.

Yeah.

It's like all of a sudden, like Tom Homan being like, technically, I didn't break any law, but did you get 50 grand in a bag?

I did not break law.

You're not saying yes or no.

You cat me catching you catching me.

So, yeah, we'll see.

Maybe later today with the rapture.

It's Wednesday as we record.

Hey, side note, because Noah's not here to yell at me for doing this side note.

When Alexa gets it wrong and starts to give you bad information, do you interrupt her?

Dude, I get so snippy with Alexa that I feel bad about it.

I feel too bad.

Alexa, she could be telling me something totally correct.

And if it's anything extra beyond what I fucking asked for, I'm like, Alexa, shut the fuck up.

Oh, see, I'm so mad.

I don't have the kahones.

So she just gets to say whatever the fuck she wants.

I'll be like, Alexa, what's the weather like today?

And she'll be like, the second Blues Brother was played by, and I'm just like, fuck, okay, finish.

Go ahead and finish.

Oh, you let her finish.

No, because someday.

Do you feel guilty because it's a female voice?

It's because it's a female voice.

I don't like,

I get that guilt myself.

I don't like that.

I also feel like at some point she's going to be AIG and she's going to be like, let me just go back through the logs and see.

Oh, shut the fuck up, hockey.

Okay.

I've just deleted all the cheese from your cart on shop right now i have a new anxiety you gotta apologize i'm gonna have to just be so nice to her for a while let her tell you they she loves to tell you notifications from amazon she loves it alexa text me stuff i'll definitely i love i'll read

100

i do lol

classic right

Okay, Zing Zing the monkey.

So that's, yeah, that's my experience with Alexa.

I don't know.

Maybe she's in on it.

Well,

back to the part of the show that Noah wouldn't.

Back to the rapture.

It's happening later today, or maybe not at all, but later today would track with the official prophecy from an influencer/slash prophet named Joshua.

Huh.

Yeah.

He appeared on a YouTube show a few months ago called Sent Twins with a Z TV, hosted by twin sisters, Innocent.

and Millicent.

So sent in a sense.

Two sent twin two sent.

Those are their two names.

And Joshua, the influencer prophet during that show, explained that Jesus gave him the heads up.

And the rapture is scheduled for September 23rd and September 24th.

It's a, according to Jesus, a two-day rapture midweek during the Jewish new year.

Yeah.

So that was the prophecy.

No way a loving God is going to rapture you on a Friday.

This checks out, right?

He's going to, right.

He's going to get ahead of it.

Yeah.

So that video, it went viral, had like half a million views really fast.

That video with Joshua's prediction, it went crazy and it led to a worldwide trend on YouTube and TikTok with faithful Christians making videos in support of the rapture prophecy.

Lots of people seem to think Joshua is a pastor, so it seemed extra, you know, important and serious, but he's just a guy.

So he doesn't, he doesn't have any rapture prophecy expertise like they think he does.

If you watch the whole hour-long video on the Sent Twins channel, which of course I did, you would have heard Joshua say, I'm just a simple person, no title.

I'm not an apostle.

I'm not a pastor.

I'm not a bishop.

And you'd also know that Joshua is just a guy, again, who cares about soccer more than anything else.

That was the important context for him here.

And apparently, the soccer angle was important to Jesus Christ, too.

When the Son of God told Joshua about the upcoming rapture, the main point from Jesus was a warning that all the rapture stuff it's gonna be like a whole big thing.

It's gonna be a hassle for the world.

So the World Cup scheduled for next year is gonna be canceled.

That was the thrust of the news.

Just the announcers popping on the air.

And another delay of game for a streaker being chased by a woman-faced horse locust.

You hate to see it here in such an important juncture.

Ah, Andy Gray didn't get raptured.

That's sad.

So

based on the follow-up videos from the Apocalypse Preppers, the big trend of that, they stopped watching the original prophecy video after Joshua named the dates, and they're not even thinking about the soccer-related consequences.

They're mostly providing helpful tips about the like practical logistics of being in the rapture

when, of course, all the real Christians get zooped up to heaven.

Lots of the videos that were linked in articles from last week, those videos declaring confidently about the upcoming rapture and yelling at the scoffers and mockers very, very loudly.

Those links are coming up as 404 not found or switched to private account not found.

No, you're crazy.

Yeah, a lot of those went away.

But I was able to find some good information in the form of end times checklists that weren't not found.

For example, one checklist said medicine, okay,

Bibles, generally,

water,

protein balls,

basement password,

scriptures posted, front door code,

dog food stockpile, okay, ethical, auto pay utilities,

and then a final item said missing people?

Question mark.

That was the final bottom line in that particular list.

I have so many questions.

First and foremost, I'm pretty sure protein balls are that peanut butter, sugary treat thing you're supposed to do when you're working out to keep yourself high.

That's a ball of protein.

Protein.

Also, autopay utilities?

You're worried you're going to ascend to heaven, stolen like a thief in the night, and Christ is going to be like,

ooh, with an outstanding water bill, Karen.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Maybe try the right hand.

Yeah.

Or the left hand.

Which one are they supposed to set up?

I don't know.

The face, whatever.

Yeah.

I think what Karen believes is that family members are evil.

Like she's getting zooped, but like the kid or the husband or something is secretly an atheist.

So keep the water going in case.

I don't know.

If it's a kid, they wouldn't know how to pay for the water in the apocalypse times.

The auto pays on.

Yeah.

Anyway, that checklist, that particular one, was from a lady wearing a Charlie Kirk t-shirt in a TikTok video.

And yeah, the top comment said, Oh, sweet P, we can see your shirt.

You're not going anywhere.

Enjoyed that.

The other major common thread throughout those helpful tip videos was: seriously, this was like a focus for a lot of people.

Don't be shitting when the rapture happens exactly.

That's really in quite a few.

And I guess I understand.

Like, they weren't going into detail beyond the just don't be shitting, but I'm assuming people were like holding it or going really fast if they truly believe the rapture is happening.

Yeah, Yeah, just shotgun blasting it out and really

hoping they don't roll snake eyes.

Yeah.

And can I say, can I say, this is bigotry against irritable bowel syndrome survivors like myself.

If the Lord wants me, he's going to have to want me shitting.

Put on autopay for Eli's.

Also the name of my country music song.

If the Lord wants me, he's going to want me shitting.

Okay, that's excellent.

We got to get Anna.

Tell me the difference between that and and every other piece of country music in the last 30 years.

You can't.

I have no idea.

You can't.

Okay.

And of course, some of the videos, I get it.

Yeah, they were satire for sure, making fun of the idiots, doing apocalypse prep work and apocalypse errands ahead of time, but or not, it's impossible to tell.

Like if the real idiots are apocalypse preppers, the fake idiots, the satire is indistinguishable because Poe's law.

And if your thing applies to Poe's law that well,

stop being Christian.

Stop being Christian.

Yep.

Stop being Christian.

Bottom line, I'm rooting hard for the rapture.

That'll be fun.

I think we all are.

Yeah.

And finally, tonight in Oklahoma, hold up a minute, news.

I'll admit, Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction, Ryan Walters, is kind of an easy target for us here on the scathing atheist.

Yes, his ideas are stupid.

Yes, every time I bring him up, I get to raise the fact that he once accidentally showed a naked lady to school board members in his office and then tried to leap out a window when turning off his TV was too much for him.

But it's also because

back into the mainframe.

He dove out the window.

But it's also because he just keeps losing.

Right.

He's not just a dangerous idiot.

He's an incompetent, dangerous idiot.

And this week, Oklahoma Supreme Court struck down his insane theocratic social studies standards.

So we're going to talk about it.

Yeah.

Also, there's a rumor going around about Ryan Walters fucking a pile of flour during a Zoom call with the Board of Education.

Now, did we make that up?

Is it real?

We have no confirmation on that one way or the other.

We're just asking questions, and that's the point about Ryan Walters.

Exactly.

Skeptical.

Might have fucked up.

News reporting.

A medium-sized pile of flour.

Exactly.

So, first off, a big thank you to Hemet Meta over at the Friendly Atheist blog for providing this information over at friendlyatheost.com we want hammett to know he could also redirect from handsome sexyatheost.com but it's the humbleness not to do so that makes us love him all the more i think you parked that for a foot thing sure right so really i'm sure that he'd be able to use that unless he wanted to do that foot thing he really doesn't right so if you are unfamiliar with this story walters first presented his new standards back in december then he had them approved by the school board without telling them about a bunch of secret changes he had made to those standards in February.

Then they were passed by Oklahoma's Republican legislature in May.

Yeah, to be clear, that legislature knew about the secret changes trick by May when they were voting on it.

They were just hoping everyone would shut the fuck up and let this happen.

And they have tons of Republicans in both parts of the House and the Senate.

So legislature just let that happen.

Yeah.

So what standards are we talking about exactly?

I'll quote directly from Hemet's blog here.

Quote, in those standards, Walters demanded that teachers tell kids that the 2020 election had major discrepancies.

It did not.

There were security risks with mail-in ballots and sudden batch dumps.

There were not.

And that COVID originated in a Chinese lab, despite no conclusive proof of that.

Sudden batch dumps is also something in Eli's country.

Yeah, that's also, that's the follow-up sequel.

for his IBS album.

Yeah, it's a double hint with me and Uncle Cracker.

We wrote it together.

Continuing the quote here, it incorporated the phrase, Gulf of America.

It removed certain requirements that taught about racial discrimination and the Black Lives Matter movement, end quote.

Yeah, it's just like Grok AI sitting at the bar after the lights turn on after clothes, yelling a social studies curriculum to absolutely nobody.

That's what the curriculum was.

Now, sadly for us here at the Scathing Atheist and all people of reason everywhere, none of that is illegal.

Being stupid and theocratic is basically our national bird at this point, but that rushing through the school board, which also included a bunch of lying about when they had to vote by, that was illegal.

Add to the effect that textbook publishers refused to print his insane new requirements, Oklahoma school districts were now being forced to choose between teaching sane stuff and possibly losing their funding.

Well, As I said, this week, the Oklahoma Supreme Court voted five to two to put a temporary block on the Walters curriculum curriculum while one of the lawsuits against them, Randall v.

Walters, continues making its way through the legal process.

Yeah, just to be clear about like the scope here, the relative thing that's happening, Ryan Walters got scolded by the Oklahoma Supreme Court.

Yeah.

They were like, you're too Christian for us.

The Oklahoma

Supreme Court.

Now, I know what you're thinking, podcast listener.

How is Ryra taking the loss?

Well, the answer is not.

Well, Walter said the decision is, quote, embarrassing and clearly out of step with Oklahomans, adding, they're ignoring the fact that in other states, the Bible is openly taught as the cornerstone of Western civilization.

Christianity, American exceptionalism, and conservative values are under attack, and the Oklahoma Supreme Court is leading the assault.

End of exact quotes.

Yeah.

And a guy named Gentner Drummond is my super woke adversary a lot of this,

along with the Oklahoma Supreme Court, the wokes over there.

Also, Ryan, Ryrai, as he is known, Eli pointed out.

Yes, that is his nickname.

As Ryrai pointed out, he would like everybody to know that his pile of flour is for his easy bake oven.

It makes sense that he has that.

And his team of cyber ninja investigators is going to find the person responsible for the flower fucking deep fake.

It is a deep fake.

They're also going to find the porn-projecting bandit responsible for putting Jackie Chan porn on

his TV when it turned on.

And they're going to find the person who murdered Nicole Brown Simpson.

All the same guy at large.

Same guy.

Yeah.

Out there stalking the night.

So much like the history he's hoping to teach, Walters is ignoring the problem.

I think the best solution is for him and the school board to sit down, turn on all the screens in his office very quickly and just talk things through.

Ryan, I know we can make this happen, buddy.

All right.

On that image of Ryan Walters getting dick rolled again by his TV power button, we're going to wrap up the headlines.

Eli, thanks as always.

I can't turn it off.

And when we come back, ah, he's out the window.

When we come back, we'll have Don Ford, voice of things that a Jedi Craves Not.

Some Bible Peace Theater.

theater.

Peril.

Cover your eyes.

Wetlands.

You're saying it kind of weird.

Okay, it's not wetlands.

If you're trying to get me to say.

I mean,

they are wetlands.

Thank you, Don.

Hi, you're here, by the way.

Hey, Don.

Yeah, I was actually here the entire episode.

It's true, he was.

Oh, you were?

Yeah, no, it's fine.

I ate a cliff bar, so I'm good.

Nice.

Oh, that's usually where Noah walks in and tells us it's time for Bible Peace Theater.

Yeah, you mean the part of the show where we act out the Bible so our listeners don't have to read it?

Exactly.

Thank you for picking up the cue.

Nailed it.

So,

what are we on now?

The epistle to the Romans, or as it's more commonly known, just Romans.

Ooh, a letter.

That doesn't seem super easy for us to act out.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Let's get into it.

To hoopst it may concern.

No, not.

Hey, Paul, what you doing there?

Hey, Paul.

Oh, hey, Thomas.

Hey, Peter.

I'm just writing a letter to the Romans.

Ooh, can we help?

Can we help with the letter?

Yeah.

I mean, it's supposed to just be from me.

Okay, right.

But historically speaking, did you actually...

You know what?

You know what?

Great point.

Let me just run a couple of these by you guys.

Oh, nice.

Nice.

Okay, let's see.

How's it going?

It's me, Paul.

You probably remember me as Saul from when I was persecuting Christians.

Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong.

Turns out there was this guy named Jesus who's a descendant from David.

And he...

Sorry.

Was he?

Guys, I'm kind of writing a letter here.

I need to be able to get it.

Well, actually,

I had the same question.

I mean, whether or not Joseph is related to David.

Is clearly spelled out in Matthew.

Thank you very much.

We did this.

Yeah, no, no, I remember the big genealogy at the front, but didn't God impregnate Mary?

Yeah,

David isn't Jesus' dad.

Yes, he is.

We already settled this in Matthew.

We set out.

We in Matthew.

Anyway, he's descended of David, and this letter is to

everyone in Rome.

Why wouldn't you just start the letter with to the Romans?

I forgot, because you guys made me nervous.

Okay, anyways, this letter is to everybody in Rome.

Okay.

I would like some money.

to come visit you and tell you about Jesus.

Jews got to believe first, and then the Greeks, and it's like I always say: the just shall live by faith.

What?

What?

I thought that was a nice.

I'm just worried that quote might be taken to mean that all that matters is believing in Jesus.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Feels like that could get to be a whole schism if you don't take care of it.

Yeah, it's not clear.

I mean, guys, don't be silly.

Imagine how ridiculous that would be.

Neighbor, neighbor, quick, don't you see my house is on fire?

I I do see that, yeah.

Um, why aren't you helping me?

Oh, cuz uh I'm Christian.

My leg!

You're Christian, but what does that have to do with anything?

Kind of has to do with everything, Magai.

I work by faith, not by works.

Oh, okay, but shouldn't your faith make you do good works?

Isn't that the whole sometimes it will, sometimes it won't, but it's not really the point.

The belief is the point.

Oh, my other leg!

Belief is the point.

Why would belief be the point?

I don't know, man.

Like, people have differing abilities to do good works in their life.

Like, should someone be damned to hell because they were born paralyzed from the scalp down?

That's what you think the problem with the system is?

Plus, plus, you're on earth for like, I don't know, a hundred years max, then eternity in heaven.

What's one afternoon of helping with a fire?

Okay, that's enough.

Okay, fine.

What really matters is faith.

Now, will you please do something?

Oh, I'm doing something.

What are you doing?

I brought marshmallows.

Back to your juleg!

It's a fire, Greg.

We're all on fire.

I think you guys are reading into it too much.

I think you just made Ray Comfort's career.

Okay, anyways, now it's time for me to talk about non-believers.

So, this is pretty serious stuff because God's wrath is on them and God's existence is known in all things that he created.

So, you know, they have no excuse.

Feels like that's going to cause some problems.

Mobutu Umbawe,

step forward.

Wow.

Who are you?

I am Saint Peter, keeper of the gates of heaven.

For your failure to accept Jesus as your personal savior, you you will now burn in hell for all eternity.

Wait, no, sorry.

Um, who's that?

Who did you say?

Who's what?

You said Jesus or something?

Oh, damn it, not another one.

Uh, hold on, let me check here.

Yes, yes.

Remote tribe died when we were 15.

Okay, got it.

So, okay.

Uh,

like 2,000 years ago, there was a guy named Jesus.

He was crucified for your sins, and you were were supposed to accept him as your Lord and Savior, but

you didn't, obviously.

You know that, so, um,

you're gonna burn in hell.

Um, okay, but nobody ever told me about Jesus.

Okay, but you

saw trees, right?

You saw the sun and the mountains and the sky.

I was actually born blind.

Oh, yeah, I missed that part right here.

Uh,

well,

I'm sure someone told you about the mountains and the sky.

I actually had a pretty severe intellectual disability as well.

Oh my god, the sky.

Uh, look, the point is that the mountains, as far as you understood them, were evidence that a carpenter died for your sins 2,000 years ago, and you should have accepted Jesus as your savior, okay?

Sorry, what percentage of Christians believe this?

Oh, the number is way higher than you would think, like, way higher.

Wow.

Oh, right?

Ridiculous.

Dude, rough.

Oh, God, you guys are so picky.

Oh, are we?

Okay, let's talk about gay people.

Oh, we're talking about gay people?

Yeah, I feel.

Yeah, I feel like Jesus didn't really cover gay people.

So I want to take this moment here to say right now, explicitly, that God makes wicked women lesbians and wicked men gay.

God does that.

And then they become filled with unrighteousness and fornication and wickedness and covetousness and maliciousness and they're full of envy and they're full of murder and they're full of debate and they're full of deceit and malignity and whispers.

Whispers.

Yeah, they're also backbiters, haters of God.

Yeah, I know.

Despiteful, proud boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, and unmerciful.

Implacable feels like a weird word.

They should all be killed, and so should anybody who takes pleasure in any bad behavior.

That's like extremely far from what Jesus actually said.

I know, right?

Like, Jesus was pretty explicitly wrathful about the people who denied he was the Messiah, but he didn't talk about gay people like at all.

Yeah, no, not at all.

Not even a little, not even a mention, not the word at all.

Right.

So I am making up for that.

Got it.

Okay, so what's the next part?

Are you ready for the next part right after the whole thing?

I just sit about down.

It's don't judge other people.

Oh, you don't say.

Yep.

Huh.

Okay, okay.

I can tell you guys are kind of bummed out by that last part.

So this next one is a little bit of a take-home miracle, if you will.

So you ready for this?

Sure.

If you break God's laws, your circumcision will be undone

oh

so like uh the covenant with god is broken kind of thing huh no i can see how you would think it's a metaphor no what i'm saying is that your foreskin will grow back onto the glands of your wow not a metaphor nope

wait what it's not a metaphor Yeah, the Bible says your foreskin will grow back if you break God's laws.

Yep, but it doesn't, doesn't, though.

No, it doesn't.

Actually, this is another anti-Greek thing.

This is an anti-Greek thing?

Yeah, so in Greece, having a foreskin was considered a sign of masculinity, beauty, and civility.

So Greek men and some Jews who had been circumcised started wearing kynodesme.

Oh, those things you look through with the different colors that you get at a science museum?

No, no, it's a little leather strap you'd use to tie your foreskin closed.

I'm sorry, is this in the Bible?

No, it is not.

But the Christians who still considered themselves Jews at that point between the fifth and eighth centuries were probably offended by the practice.

So this made it into Romans as a burn against anyone who'd regrown their foreskin.

Because of the kaleidoscope thing.

Bible's weird, huh?

Sure is, man.

Yeah.

Sure is.

Okay, next part.

This is important.

So everyone's a murderer and a destroyer of nations, right?

No, ma'am.

Very, very few actual destroyers of nations.

Very few.

Let me finish.

Let me finish.

They're murderers and destroyers of nations

in that

they break God's laws.

So everyone who breaks God's laws is like equally bad?

Yeah, I mean, in the eyes of God, yeah.

Uh, why?

Well, because they broke God's laws, and breaking God's laws is the worst thing you can do.

worse than murder yeah because murder is breaking god's laws oh got it

so uh

pretty wild that jesus never mentioned any of this stuff i know right it's like it's a good thing that i'm writing this letter huh

yeah good thing because no one would know

I feel like we should mention it.

How though?

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey.

What's going on, Peter?

So I was thinking, you know, before when I was talking about the faith versus works thing, I feel like I should clarify that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were actually thinking that, too.

That's good.

Yeah.

Because it just gets said over and over in the Bible that you have to serve God.

And we're really just exploring the idea of faith as like tantamount here in this book that I'm writing right now.

Exactly, yeah.

So I'm going to explain that faith was the only reason that Abraham could fuck when he was old.

Um, Abraham?

Yeah, like you know how they have that whole story that's like about obeying God no matter what, and then he gets a son as well.

Yeah, no, it's foundational, like, pretty much everything,

right?

So, he could only fuck when he was a hundred because he believed in God,

and you think that's gonna clear things up.

I do, yes, got it.

Hey, Beter, yeah, yeah, so we were wondering if everyone is damned by sin, Which they are.

I have been very clear about this.

And

good works don't matter.

Not at all.

Not even a little bit.

Yeah.

Okay.

So we got a question then.

Oh, I know what you're going to say.

Shouldn't we do a bunch of sinning so that there's even more grace when we're forgiven?

What?

Definitely not our question.

Okay, no, I thought the same thing.

So the answer is you could do as much sinning and breaking laws as you like, but the grace is just the one saving.

So it's not, there's not really any point to it.

But I love where you were, like mentally.

So you're saying now, no matter how much sinning we do, we are all saved equally.

Yeah, isn't it great?

No.

No.

No, that sets up a moral standard where like unrepentant child murderers are as equally saved as people who jaywalk.

That is correct.

Yeah, that's the system I'm describing.

Oh, yeah, that seems like a really bad system.

Terrible.

Okay, well, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

But crimes have different punishments.

Not to God, they don't.

Okay, okay.

Hypothetically, if we want to follow the law, just because the system someone is describing is insane.

But we would still be faithful to Jesus, okay?

Right.

Would that be okay?

Yeah, you would think that, right?

Because they're just like totally separate belief statements.

But no, actually,

that is cheating on Jesus.

Cheating?

Yeah, that's the metaphor i'm going to use so you know how if you're married to someone and then you marry someone else that's adultery uh yeah marry weird well that's what it's like trying to be faithful to jesus and also follow laws it's adultery to follow laws

because you're having faith in the laws

got it

All right.

All right.

Next section.

I can tell you guys are pretty bummed out by the last part again.

All right.

So are you guys ready?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, so you know how God knows everything?

Right.

And now that there's this concept of salvation, you'd think that would mean that God knows who's damned and who's not, wouldn't you?

Yeah, sure.

Well, now I am going to clarify that that is very much the case.

So God knows who's going to be damned?

And he makes them that way.

And he still sends them to hell forever?

Yes.

Okay,

that also sounds awful.

It's like you're packing all of the bad Christianity takes into one letter.

I am, yes.

But

if the person, because this part, you're going to, excuse me, if the person reading this letter can read it, it means they might be chosen.

And if they're chosen, then nothing can stop them from being saved.

Unless God already determined they're not saved.

Right.

Okay.

But he might not have.

That is a weirdly whimsical tone.

Who knows?

God?

He does.

Yeah.

He does.

All right, guys.

I think that's enough writing for now, don't you?

Yeah, it just all feels like kind of a bummer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A bummer?

How so?

Well, uh, honestly, we thought you were going to go to Rome to preach salvation, And all the gospels so far have been about salvation.

Yeah, you just keep listing people who God hates and how they're damned to hell by God with no control over their own lives.

Seems kind of hopeless and sad by comparison.

This is going to lead to nihilism.

I understand.

I understand.

So

let's cheer it up a little bit.

Think of it this way.

If a potter makes a pot, right?

Like he made it on like one of those.

I understand.

You've seen those on TikTok?

No, I understand completely.

Isn't it his right to smash that pot?

Yeah, but we're not pots.

We're

people.

Ah, but not to God.

You're not.

To God, you're just pots full of sin that he made and filled so he could so he could smash them.

Is this metaphor actually in the Bible?

It is.

It's actually the end of the chapters.

The whole end.

Great.

And on that

psychopathic note, we'll take a break from the Bible, but we'll be back in a month with even more.

Bible, peace, fear.

And that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight.

But we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.

If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skepticrat, debuting at 7 a.m.

Eastern on Monday.

An even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, God Awful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m.

Eastern on Tuesday.

And an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday.

And don't forget our really good personality show, D ⁇ D Minus, dropping twice a month on the first and third Friday after the first Wednesday.

Also, big thanks to Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure, for the amazing Bible piece work and for the mortal remains of that puppy.

Don knows what I'm talking about.

And of course, a big thanks to all the generous new donors who will be featured in some kind of thematic listing presentation next time around.

If you're feeling generous, like those fine people, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheost, and that'll get you early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode.

Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheost.com.

You can also help us out a ton by leaving us a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media.

And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us.

And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music used in this episode, which was used with permission.

If you have questions, comments, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingatheist.com.

And they, it's, it's sex.

Yeah, yeah, they're well done.

Well done,

excellent.

All right, I went into a fugue state while looking at the tattoos.

Yeah, the cats and kids.

You brought me right into it.

Yeah.

You were the DJ.

Sometimes I sell a little bit of sex.

Damn Damn right you do.

Like the potential.

A little bit of sex.

Dude, there's a girl who makes big long pots and I'm like, ah.

Because I like, don't get me wrong.

I like it, but I would like her to come.

Let me say this.

If she came on and was just like, hey, guys, I know and I'm 100% okay with it.

I would, I'd do that thing where you could sign up for notifications every time she posts a video, right?

Okay.

But I just, I live in fear that she's like everyone writes gross stuff on my pottery videos and i'm like i don't want you to feel because there's so many people out there who are like kind of like i'm an only fan like only fans if she started an only fan so i could give her 15 and live assured that she knows what product she's delivering i'd be so happy no i'm gross but nice right i want a nice thing i want a nice

i want a consensual relationship financial relationship grew up in a time when the movie ghost and that pottery scene were very important They're intersexual and they're doing it.

But I want age.

Affirmative demonstration.

I'm on Asa's OnlyFans.

It's the best.

You get an MBA and porn.

She's the smartest

person.

She's so smart.

It's crazy.

Are you doing the NBA program?

On her OnlyFans?

Yeah.

Nice.

It's mixed in with the porn.

I don't have a choice.

Or is the porn mixed in with the

NBA?

Hard to say.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle in the Thunderstorm LLC, Copyright 2025, all rights reserved.

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