Tournament of Fripperies (Live with the Cast and Creators of Severance)
“Main Titles” performed live on the theremin by Randy George
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Transcript
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This show is brought to you by the farmer's dog.
Hey, it's me, Adam, and I'm really excited about this one because we have two dogs, and like every family who has a dog or two, we love ours to a borderline crazy degree.
But here's the thing: I never really thought about what our dogs eat.
I assumed kibble was fine, but I also honestly didn't know anything about it.
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Why is that a big deal?
Well, here's a fun fact.
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I mean that's basically the amount of time you had to wait between seasons one and two of our show.
That was a long time.
Sorry about that.
But if I get that much more time with our dogs, I'm in.
So yeah, I switched our dogs to the farmer's dog.
And you can too.
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The Severance podcast with Ben Stiller and Adam Scott is presented by The Farmer's Dog.
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Hey everybody, it's Adam.
If you hear this theremin version of the Severance Severance main titles playing under my voice, you're not imagining it.
It's from a live show that Ben and I put on this past weekend, and today we're really excited to share it with you.
We brought together Dan Erickson, Britt Lauer, John Toturo, Zach Cherry, Trammell Tillman, and Patricia Arquette in front of a live audience to compete in a Severance-themed game show.
We even got the incredible Patton Oswald to host it.
And before the competition got started, Ben and I talked with everyone about the moments behind some of the photos that someone named Ben Doe took on set.
We had so much fun, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Welcome, everybody.
Welcome to the first ever live taping of the Severance Podcast with Ben and Adam.
Yes, welcome.
Thank you so much for being here.
Oh, my God.
Like a weird, weird dream or something, isn't it?
It is.
It's very weird.
And it's so great to be here.
We love hosting this podcast.
We started
by just recapping the first season.
We recapped the second season and we did it with cast crew, super fans.
And then eventually we decided to switch it up and we started having people on that influenced us and inspired us while we were making the show and talking about the show with them.
Yeah.
And it's been great to have conversations with filmmakers and comedians and musicians and people who just love the show or who have aspects of the show that they connect with.
But tonight is going to be a little different because this is a whole different show is yeah
take a page out of the lumen manager manual yeah we are taking kir's early lesson about the importance of play to heart yes which we all we we all know we we sure do ben what is the importance of play to you i mean i would just give you the quote really the quote from the handbook oh sure that we all know yeah that we all know do you guys want to recite it with me yeah okay the act of play can unite humans from varying levels of intelligence and circumstance and aid them in forming lasting,
valued friendships.
Valued friendships.
Yes, very good.
Thank you for doing that.
In sync with us.
And what way to better do that than by competing in a game show?
Absolutely.
That's right.
Tonight, the Severance Podcast proudly presents what we are calling a tournament of fripperies.
What exactly is a tournament of fripperies, Adam?
We all know what it means, right?
I know what it means,
but I'm not going to say it right now.
You don't need to say it, but I know that
I know that you know it.
But the fun thing is, tournament of fripperies is a game show to test everyone's severance knowledge.
Yeah.
Which is very exciting.
And we have a surprise host who is going to host.
the game show
so that you and i can actually be contestants that's right we get to play the game and it's an absolute surprise host.
We don't even know who it is.
But we're not going to keep everything a secret tonight.
I think it's time to reveal our judge and our tournament contestants with some behind-the-scenes photos taken by someone named Bendo.
Right.
Bendo.
Ben, can you explain to the audience who Bendo is?
Bendo is, sort of became our production photographer, a set photographer who would be there when we were shooting the show.
I'm not quite sure how he got the job
or how he just sort of appeared
and yeah, and started taking pictures with his camera.
I feel like he wasn't actually hired.
He just came to set and started taking photos.
It's hard to remember because it was like five years ago, but
I didn't recognize him.
I think I might have asked where he came from.
He looked weirdly familiar to me.
He looked like a guy.
You know, he had his camera and he had like his little like fanny pack thing and he looked like a very professional set photographer he was using a film camera using a like a film camera wouldn't stop talking about i'm using real film right he was very excited the fact he was shooting real film he didn't have a blimp on the camera so it made noise so if he was shooting during a take it would ruin the take yeah always in my eyeline always in the eye line always like oh sorry sorry right like performative about saying sorry right which made it even more annoying sort of like it's better to like do first ask later apologize later type of thing like it's better to apologize later later than to ask permission or something like that.
That might be it.
Yeah.
I think that's
crazy.
Basically,
he has been documenting the show for a few years.
Took some admittedly great photos.
Yeah, I think it's sometimes worth it.
Anyway, we're going to show some of his photographs and then introduce people based on the photograph.
So, I'm going to take a look at the first Bendo photograph.
Oh, oh, oh, there it is.
There it is.
So, there is,
I think that's Dan Erickson, the creator of the show.
Let's bring him out.
Dan Erickson.
How you doing?
Hello.
Welcome.
Hi, buddy.
Hello.
Hi.
Oh, wow.
Dan.
Hello.
All right.
Take a seat, Dan.
So how are you, Dan?
Yeah.
I'm good.
I'm excited.
I've never been on a game show before.
Really?
I don't know exactly what I'm doing.
Don't worry.
We do.
Yeah.
Okay.
You guys are.
We're in complete control.
So do you remember when that photograph was taken?
Do you remember what Bendo said to you or what happened?
I don't remember because this was like, people have asked me if this was like staged, but no, I was like in a utter panic when this picture was taken because we were like trying to get a rewrite done and it was like pouring down rain.
Like this was, you know,
well, this was, we were out on a golf course.
Yeah, it was a golf course and it was the mammalians nurturable set.
And I do remember that there were some other creatures there.
There they are.
Oh, those creatures.
The goats.
Those creatures.
It's gorgeous sound, isn't it?
Did you enjoy working with the goats, Adam?
I did.
You know, they would, when you're in the midst of a scene, there was no way to control the goats.
So they would literally come over and eat our shoelaces
while we were doing scenes, which was fun because you don't get co-stars eating your shoelaces all that often.
Not enough.
Yeah.
Other than John Toturo.
You know, I just want to say really quick, we thought that it would be great to have the creator of Severance here as our judge tonight.
Ah, that's right.
He's going to be the judge.
I would do it.
He's going to tally the scores
and just preside generally over the contest because he has a big brain and he can handle it all.
I've been told I have to do some simple addition, which I think I remember how to do.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I think.
All right.
Well, then why don't we bring out our first official contestant.
Let's see who the contestant is with another Bendo photo.
Here we go.
Wow.
I do think it might be the incredible Trammell Tillman.
Trammell Tillman, everybody.
I feel like I'm dressed like the activities director on a cruise ship.
I feel like that too.
It's incredible.
I I was going to wear that, and I'm so glad.
I've been so embarrassing.
Adam Scott can pull it off.
You're kind of giving me Tintin, and I know he doesn't literally wear that, but it's just a vibe.
Tintin on a cruise ship.
Or like a golfer from 1932 or something.
A golfer from 1932 whose name is Tintin.
He's on a cruise.
That's right.
And was wearing tap shoes.
You actually have taps on those shoes.
Don't give away how we're going to the big finale for the end of tonight.
Come on, Ben.
Tramel, welcome.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
Great to be here.
This is exciting.
They finally let me out of the bathroom on the severed floor.
I guess so.
You've been there this whole time, which is
the same thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stuffy in there.
Yeah.
Well, did you get some snacks and stuff?
I did.
I did.
I have to thank Zach for getting the vending machine in there.
Oh, excellent.
Excellent.
Trammell, what comes to mind when you look at this photo that Ben Doe took?
Oh, it's reminiscent.
That's my best friend
there.
Good old Keir.
How was it acting with Keir?
Oh, it's fantastic.
He's not stiff at all.
It's a very generous scene partner.
Well, you know, we actually had Mark Geller, the actor who portrays Keir Egan, on set doing the voice.
Yes.
So you guys could actually do it live together.
Yeah, which was great.
Mark is fantastic.
Yeah.
He's so funny.
Just out of the blue.
Have you ever done comedy in your, like, like stand-up comedy?
Did you ever do it?
I was never paid to do comedy.
But
have you done
like stand-up?
No, no, I haven't.
I haven't.
I think stand-up is terrifying.
And my hat is off to people who do it and do it well.
Well, you were great.
You did this bit, this monologue with a dummy all day.
All day.
And it was so funny.
Thank you.
All day.
Thank you.
It was great.
Appreciate that.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we should be
bringing out the next contestant.
Yeah, I think the next one might be another Bendo photo.
Do you want to explain
what photo he was taking here?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
This is out at Woes Hollow.
And this is the group.
John Taturo.
Awesome.
Zach Cherry, Britt Lauer, and you.
And me.
Yeah.
And we look so cool in those outfits.
Yeah.
Well, let's bring these three people out.
Ladies and gentlemen, Zach Cherry, Britt Lauer, and John Taturo.
Yeah, welcome.
Hi, Aye, Cup.
Britt Lauer, John Taturo,
Zach Cherry.
As your activities director,
I'm just here to say we're going to have a great week.
We have all kinds of stuff planned.
Yeah.
How are you guys doing?
Good.
Good.
Yeah.
Are you excited for me?
I thought you were talking to the audience for a second, but I forgot the podcast has already started a while ago.
Yeah.
I'm like the warm-up guy for the podcast.
How's everybody doing?
All right.
What do you guys remember about this photograph and the shooting this moment and that experience
by that tallest waterfall?
And we should describe it for the podcast listeners.
It's all of us standing in front of the tallest waterfall in the world.
I look like I'm smiling at a small creature.
I look like I'm in a great mood.
I got my Dr.
Givago thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very Dr.
Givago.
The coats were heavy.
I remember the coats were very, very heavy.
And the hats.
Did you guys wear the heating packs?
Because I remember Sarah Edwards, our incredible costume designer, made these heating packs that were built in.
They were like electric jackets.
Yeah, right.
I wore electric socks.
I had toe warmers.
Yeah, and then, and Britt, you had to dip your head in the water there.
I did.
How was that?
It was extremely cold because my body was warm, but my whole head was freezing.
Yeah, because like most of the heat in your body goes out through your head, right?
Yeah.
That's why you wear a hat when it's cold.
It's incredible what you learn listening to the Severance podcast.
This is why people love the podcast.
Yeah, this is why.
We should also do a science podcast.
I just remember Trummel when he had his
big white furry coat.
I was just like, wow, look at him.
He was kind of beautiful.
It was just
part of the environment.
We were lugging around these big black jackets with these hats and sweating, and Trummel just appears and just looks unbelievably cool.
Stunning.
So when you guys were on the podcast last, Britain, Zach, you guys were talking about this podcast that you guys were starting.
That's right.
What was it called?
Soup and Smoothies?
Yeah.
That's right.
I mean, not just starting.
It already exists.
Oh, it exists.
Oh, Oh, it does.
There's hundreds of episodes.
And where can you find that podcast?
That information will be released when the time is right.
So on the podcast, you guys talk about soup and smoothies.
Is it a soup versus smoothies, or is it just how much you enjoy both?
Yes.
Yeah.
I see.
I get it.
Does like one person advocate for soup and it's like a point counterpoint sort of thing?
Yes.
Okay.
It's like Frost Nixon.
John, what do you prefer, soup or smoothies?
Well, hold on.
You're kind of encroaching on our churf you are.
This is RIP.
Well, you know, if Chris Walken was here, he would just say, ah,
soup.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Soup.
Soup.
Okay.
So you and Chris Walken both prefer soup to smoothies.
And banana bread.
We like banana bread, too.
Ooh, yeah.
That's a great answer.
I mean, good answer.
That's a spin-off podcast, the banana bread podcast.
Oh, yeah.
Chris is a great cook, actually.
Okay, it is time for our final photo from Bendo.
Okay, what's the shot?
What do we got?
Ah, interesting.
So let's bring her out, the incredible Patricia Arquette.
It's a shout out.
Patricia!
Patricia, you're perfectly dressed for this set.
It was a plan.
How's it going?
It's fine.
This photograph.
This photograph, it's interesting, right?
I don't think anyone's ever seen it before, right?
Yeah, this is a one.
I was there too, I think, when Bendo came and took the shot of you.
What was happening here?
Because it was outside of our stages in the Bronx, York stages in the South Bronx.
Exactly.
And
this was a test for a Zell Vig outfit.
But I heard a loud noise outside and I pushed open that big door behind.
And there was a whole fight happening outside.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
So my concern in my face.
I started crying.
My mascara started.
What was happening?
And Bendo.
Bendo, who was always at the right place at the right time.
He just caught it.
Happened to be there and captured.
Yeah.
Wow.
You can really
rescued you.
Yeah.
But that actually is the outside of our stage.
Like, if you went through that door, that is MDR right through that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why don't you just say like, can I try a babushka?
Can I try a babushka?
Yeah, no, the babushka looks.
Yeah, you, but it's like, it's more like a, like, more, it's more than a babushka.
You got like a hat.
You got a hat, like something over the hat.
Yeah.
This was ideas.
This is for Selvic.
This was ideas for episode 208 when, oh, oh, yeah.
You know, when Cobel kind of drives up,
you know, and she has been in the car and she's sort of like, you know, a little bit frazzled and brushing her teeth.
I've got all the stuff in the back of my car.
Right.
And I'm cold.
You know, I mean.
Well, you look like you're bundled up.
I have to rummage through the back of the car.
All right.
Well, we've got everybody here.
Yeah, it's time for this podcast to get competitive.
It's time for the tournament of fripperies, everybody.
All right.
So we're going to do some musical chairs.
You're going to move some stuff around because Adam and I are going to play.
And we're going to do do that.
And then we're going to bring out the host of the show.
And just, I would like everyone to note: Adam and Ben are competing against us.
They are the hosts of the podcast.
They also both have earpieces in.
Zach, thank you, Zach.
I'm just not sure that it's a fair fight.
Yeah.
We'll be right back after this short break.
Hey, it's Adam.
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Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host.
This show is brought to you by the farmer's dog.
Hey, it's me, Adam, and I'm really excited about this one because we have two dogs, and like every family who has a dog or two, we love ours to a borderline crazy degree.
But here's the thing.
I never really thought about what our dogs eat.
I assumed kibble was fine, but I also honestly didn't know anything about it.
Turns out, kibble is like lumen levels of mysterious.
The farmer's dog, however, is a different story.
They make fresh food for dogs using real meat and vegetables, and every recipe is formulated by their team of board-certified vet nutritionists who are literal experts in what dogs should be eating.
The farmer's dog also portions the food to your dog's unique needs, so you know you're not overfeeding them.
Why is that a big deal?
Well, here's a fun fact.
Dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer.
And that's basically the amount of time you had to wait between seasons one and two of our show.
That was a long time.
Sorry about that.
But if I get that much more time with our dogs, I'm in.
So yeah, I switched our dogs to the farmer's dog.
And you can too.
Go try the farmer's dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com/slash severance.
Plus, you get free shipping right to your door.
Just go to thefarmersdog.com/slash severance.
This offer is for new customers only.
Now it's time to bring out the host of the game show.
He's, what's his recent thing?
Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire, and Manhunt on Apple TV Plus, which is what we're on to.
And his upcoming audio special is Black Coffee and Ice Water, coming out November 20th.
He's been in a lot of movies.
He's a brilliant stand-up comedian and hopefully an incredible host.
Ladies and gentlemen, Patton Oswald.
Thank you so much for letting me host this.
I'm Patton Oswald.
You may
know me from other streaming-centric game shows like Sopranos Family Feud and Emily in Jeopardy.
But tonight, we are playing
the tournament of ripperies.
So welcome all.
Thank you for coming out.
Here we go.
We going to test these panelists' knowledge of severance and each other.
So here's how this is going to work.
After I ask a question, you're going to write down your answer on the iPad in front of you.
When the music ends, your time is up.
I will then call on you for your answers.
Please show the audience your answer on the iPad and also make sure to say it out loud.
That's for the podcast listeners doing laundry at home right now.
Okay, this tournament has three very short rounds.
We'll be playing the first round as individuals and then the last two.
I'm going to break you guys up into teams.
Very, very yes.
At the end of the three rounds, however, many points you receive as a team will be added to your individual scores from the beginning.
Judge Dan E
will be keeping score of your points and judging throughout the game.
So top row, no, don't peek down at the bottom.
Let's all be cool.
Let's follow match game etiquette here.
All right.
Oh,
we're not looking at that.
Yeah, we were never going to do that.
Oh, really?
Okay, nicely done.
Good cover.
If we catch you doing that, Dan is going to insult you with big words like Mr.
Milchik.
Isn't that right, Dan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You fecculent thespians.
That's actually a compliment.
With your ivory pantaloons.
Sort of another compliment.
Yeah.
Well, that's all I got.
That's all I got.
Dan can do as far as insulting.
All right.
Yeah.
Whoever has the most points at the end of the tournament wins the greatest perk of all, being a true child of Kier.
Being crowned the frippery.
I'm going to troll the R every time I say frippery, by the way.
So get ready.
The frippery champion.
Are you guys ready to play?
Yes.
Yes.
Wow.
So we're not teams yet.
Huh?
We're not teams yet.
No, no, right now it's all individuals.
Okay.
You are each your own little sovereign nation.
He's still pretending he doesn't know all the answers.
Adam's like, we're not teams yet, right?
And he's already writing down everything.
Yeah.
For our first game, I'm going to state a fact, and you're going to write down who, from your fellow contestants and judge, you think it's about.
So here's your first fact: this Audi's favorite high school theater role was, quote, sad man on train, unquote.
Who is that about?
The Audi's favorite what?
This Audi's favorite high school theater role.
Oh, theater role.
Quote, sad man on train, unquote.
Who is that about?
And it's the people that are in this room.
The people
that are in this room.
Way to phrase that like a murder mystery.
I love that.
One of the people in this room.
So it could be someone from the audience.
Could it be someone from the audience?
That's for the final round.
Oh, okay.
Right now, we're just keeping it to the stage.
So, how long do we have to?
Is it like a ding?
I'm assuming when the music ends, we're done.
Okay.
That's the time you have.
Is there music?
Did I miss it?
You have to believe to hear the music.
Okay, here we go.
Adam, what was your answer?
John Toturo.
John Toturo.
You wrote it so small.
Yeah, that is very tiny.
Britt, who did you think was Sadman on Train?
Dan.
Dan.
John, who did you think Sadman on Train was?
Zach.
Zach.
Zach, who did you think Sadman on Train was?
I wrote Zach me.
Oh!
Hang on, this could be a strategy.
We'll see.
This could be a strategy.
This could be a strategy.
Patricia.
Irving.
Oh,
Irving.
Delightful.
Ben?
Irving.
Are we writing character names or cast names?
We don't know.
I thought it was an Audi from the show.
No?
We are already in the ditch on fire.
I love it.
And Trammell.
I said Zach.
Zach.
I don't think I understand the game.
What's our practice round?
So it's...
Ben, put the earpeed back.
It's the people, not the characters.
It's It's the people, not the character.
See, I get the game.
Okay, well, everyone has given their answer, kind of.
Yeah.
Let's see what the answer was.
Zach Laurie.
Oh, man.
Zach played the infamous set.
Zach, why was that role so important to you?
It was a musical and I couldn't sing, so they told me to sit there quietly.
And I
developed a whole character for myself, and it really was the beginning of my love of acting.
Wow.
Yeah.
Were you so into the character that you did a Meisner where you pulled focus from the other actors on stage?
Like, of course, so deep in your sadness?
Yes, 100%.
That's fantastic.
And I told my family to look out for that scene and said, at a certain moment, I will look directly at you during the scene.
And then I did do that.
All right.
Who got it?
Raise your hand because I'm supposed to be keeping track.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Tramel and John.
He doesn't get it.
No, I'm giving it to Zach.
I'm giving it to Zach.
I'm a bonus point because I was the answer.
Now I feel like I understand the game.
I didn't even look at him.
Ben, I think we need to start cheating.
I'm on the board.
That's all I care.
Yeah, we got three people on the board.
I scored.
That's it.
Okay, time for our next fact.
As a kid, this Audi wanted to be on the New York Knicks when they grew up.
It's a basketball team?
Yes.
Okay.
That is a basketball team.
Cool.
Wow.
Gonna just leave that one alone.
Okay.
Let's quickly go through our contestants.
Adam, who do you think it is?
Ben.
Ben.
This is ridiculous.
Can everybody see that?
Could you write...
Could you write that bigger for the podcast listeners at home?
Yeah.
My God.
It's an eye test all of a sudden.
All right, Britt, what was your answer
because I'm considerate visually,
Ben, Ben.
There we go.
Two for Ben.
John Toturo
voted for myself.
Oh,
voted for himself.
Yes, I'm seeing a strategy here.
Zach, I wrote Ben, but I also put also me.
Zach, you can't vote for yourself every time.
I did want to be on the New York Knicks.
All right, Patricia.
She wrote John with some amazing penmanship.
That is calligraphy, Patricia.
I wish the listeners at home could see the artistry that's happening right now.
Ben, you put
John Toturo, Mr.
John Toturo,
and finally, Trammell.
I put Ben.
He put Ben.
Okay, well,
let's find out what the answer was.
Yeah.
John, do you think that the Knicks would have made it to the championship with you on the team?
No.
I could have been the 12th man.
Really?
Yeah.
Would you still have worked with Spike Lee with him yelling at you from the sidelines?
Yeah, sure.
I was going to tell him to sit down because because he never yelled.
By the way, John, Britt, Zach, Adam, and Ben have been to Knicks and Liberty games together, and Britt was on her high school basketball team.
Yeah.
And you were a good basketball player, right?
Well, do you want to play later and see?
I would like to do that.
We should do that.
We've never done that.
I guarantee you're better than I am.
Me, Ben, you.
We could form a team.
Well, Zach wanted to be also.
So I can't be the umpire.
You don't want me on your team.
I'm horrible.
We'll do that game on the team.
I'll be the umpire.
Okay.
That game will be for the Patreon subscribers later.
You're in the league.
Final question in the first round.
If this Audi were a door,
they would be
a screen door.
Who is this?
If this Audi were a door,
they'd be a screen door.
For the listeners at home, they are all staring at each other.
Very Agatha Christie, and then there were none energy going on right now.
What a weirdness.
That's a weird question.
It's a very weird question and a very weird answer.
And this one could be someone in the audience or no?
No, no, this, no, Zach, no.
It's one of you, seven.
All right, music's done, and here we go.
Adam, who do you think it would be?
Britt.
Britt.
All right.
Britt,
who did you say it would be?
Well, look how big he wrote it.
Helvetica, 64 points.
That's right.
Britt, you're answering.
You just, I saw what you wrote.
I saw it.
Helena.
I refuse to answer.
Oh,
I can tell you what I saw.
It said ME
And I am confirming that right now.
All right.
Zach.
I also wrote Brit.
Okay.
Patricia.
Britt.
Brit.
I think Britt should have answered a circus tent flap.
If you've seen her movie, A Circus Person, it is a fantastic short film.
You can see it online.
It's amazing.
Give you a little shout-out.
Trying to help a little boost.
Giving you
the old apt severance podcast boost.
Ben, who did you pick?
I completely didn't understand the question,
and I still don't understand the game.
I just panicked, and I said, Adam.
I have no reasoning behind it.
Is that a picture of me?
That was a picture of, yeah, you smiling.
I like it.
Well, I was between those two
so i knew i knew that trammel wasn't lying and trammel
what your answer is well i i i was ben's plus one so i went with adam
okay well
you got five for britt two for adam let's see the correct you said britt you said britt okay the correct answer yeah
brittlauer
John is John is three for three.
John is undefeated.
By the way, I want to read her full answer.
She would be a screen door to a screened-in porch.
So there is some
inception stuff going on.
Why that answer?
Why not?
Yeah.
But
when were you asked that?
Yesterday.
I just also thought, there's not going to be any mosquitoes in there.
You've got to move.
I don't like mosquitoes.
Well, then that's a very practical answer.
Now, well, Patricia must really not like mosquitoes because she put sliding glass door that tucks away into a hidden pocket.
Oh, nice.
Dan put beaded curtain.
Oh, damn.
I like mosquitoes.
I like them to get in.
Wow.
Okay.
So, well, Dan, as our scorekeeper, how are our contestants doing?
Okay, so
in
last place, we have a four-way tie
between Ben, Trumel, Britt, and Adam,
each with one.
In middle place, we have Patricia and Zach.
And then our current reigning champion is Mr.
John Totoro.
Oh!
With three!
Future New York Nick.
I actually have zero because I refused to answer that last one.
Oh, that's true.
You're going to take a look at the sense of honor.
Yeah, take it away with that.
You should have one.
No, take it away.
Okay, okay, okay.
Brits in last with zero.
Congrats, everyone, especially John.
But, John, remember, one of Keir's nine core principles is humility.
Yes.
So let's not get too confident.
I'm exhausted, actually.
Okay, okay, good.
I'm going to play the following rounds in teams.
Your team points will be added to your individual points at the end to determine the winner.
Here are your teams.
Are we ready?
Yes.
Ben, Trummell, and Patricia, team one.
There you go.
Wonder triplets.
Do you have a team name?
Wonder triplets.
Wonder triplets?
Wonder triplets.
Wonder siblings.
Wonder triplets.
Okay, it's really icebergs.
Our second team is Adam and
I want to be able to icebergs.
Wait, can we change to icebergs?
Yeah, we want to be icebergs now.
The icebergs.
So the team one is the icebergs.
Do you guys have a name?
We do.
We do.
What is it?
Go ahead, Britt.
We're going to lose.
Wow.
Mind you guys.
How death metal of you.
That's right.
And finally, the adorable, lovely pair, America's sweethearts, Zach and John.
Oh.
And do you guys have a team name?
Yes, we do.
What is it?
That's right.
You always have them on a set.
Have those Z-PACs ready, okay?
Just in case we get sick.
Now
it is time for
real or Rickin'.
All right.
I'm going to read passages, and you have to decide whether they're from Keir's best-selling author, Rickin Hales, the you are,
or from an actual best-selling author in real life.
So here we go.
Let's play.
In this first quote, is this first quote real or Rickin'?
Ready?
Here's the quote.
Sow a thought, reap an action.
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.
Is it real?
Is it Rickin' real?
It's real.
Yeah, I think so.
Totally fine.
I think it's great.
Yeah.
All right.
Time is up.
Let's see the team's answers.
Let's go first to the icebergs.
Icebergs, what did you say, real or Rickin'?
Real.
Real.
Real.
Real.
Real.
Okay.
They're saying real.
We're going to lose has picked
real, not Rickin.
Yeah.
Okay.
And finally, the Z-PAC chimes in with real.
Real.
The answer is.
It is real.
It is real.
Next one.
So, how do we suck poison from our veins when that poison is made of words?
Medically, we cannot.
Real or ricken.
All right, this time, let's start with the Z-Pack.
What did you put down?
Rickin'.
Yeah, Rickin', okay.
And we're going to lose has put down
Rickin'.
Rickin'.
And finally, the icebergs are saying...
Rickin'.
Rickin'.
And let's see who is right.
That's Rickin.
Oh, that's Rickin'.
A quote from our very own Rickin' Hale.
And now it is time for the final round.
Is this, quote, real or Rickin'?
Get ready.
If you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong.
Real
or Rickin'.
Can we get
language of origin?
We don't know.
I'm sorry, we do not have that information, Zach.
Well, the.
Are all the answers in?
No, we need a second.
No.
Let's give him the music one more time.
Can you do that with an English accent?
Oh, yes, absolutely.
If you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably
doing something wrong.
Well, now we need to change our answer.
Yeah.
Do you need any other accent work?
Yeah.
Check this Levaki.
Well, I'm just saying pilot season's coming up.
That could help me.
We're ready.
All right.
Here we go.
Let's go first to we're going to lose.
Real.
Real.
Then let's go to icebergs.
Real.
Oh, I wish you could see Patricia's handwriting at home.
Gorgeous.
Oh, my God.
Gorgeous.
How do you have time to do that?
And finally, the Z-PAC.
Real.
Real.
Well, let's see the answer.
Real.
Real.
Now, we were going to be able to do it.
we changed ours because of your accent.
Now, hang on, there's a bonus point situation about to happen.
Okay.
First team to raise their hands
and our judge is going to.
Zach.
Judge, what's your stand first?
First team to raise their hands.
Z PAC, one point.
No.
I mean, you kind of have to give it to them, right?
For the bonus point.
Who wrote that final real quote?
Hands up?
Anyone?
Yes, of course.
Whoever gets their hands up first and gets it right can stop.
Can you give it an initial?
Huh?
Can you give it a first initial?
If you need to.
Well, no, you got to give the name.
Who wrote it?
Well, if we weren't allowed to say who wrote the previous one for legal reasons, I'm going to guess it's someone here, and I'm going to say you, Pat?
No, that is wrong.
Anyone else?
Yes.
For your theory, you couldn't say it.
It means maybe it's somebody who's like dead and public, like Benjamin Franklin.
Benjamin Franklin.
Weirdly close, but wrong.
Thomas Jefferson.
Oh, that's right.
I'm sorry.
That was supposed to be the sound for when you get it wrong.
I rushed too quickly.
I thought that was Zach.
The answer is, and this is why that sounds like...
can't we get the initials?
You said that.
Was he in the government?
You want the initials?
Yeah, and then we'll get in the government.
Fast as you can.
I will give the initials, and then you guys can raise your hands.
You ready?
Yeah.
And was he in the government?
B S.
Ben Stiller?
It was Ben Stiller.
What?
Actually, he wrote that.
Go and feel this book.
That last quote is from
Janine Garoffolo and Ben Stiller's self-help book.
Feel this book, an essential guide to self-empowerment, spiritual supremacy, and sexual status.
No, no, no.
Mr.
Benjamin Bill.
We wrote that.
You did write that.
I did write that.
Wow.
Can I ask Team Iceberg how they feel about the fact that
you give you that question, right?
It was like 25 years ago we wrote that book.
That's a very long time ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I thought I remember Janine's.
I got half right.
Yeah, you did.
You said Benjamin.
Benjamin.
Yeah,
I did say Benjamin back then.
Yeah.
It was in there somewhere.
Yes, we did.
You were the one.
So I'm giving Z-PAC a point for that.
Yes.
Yeah.
And then the point for raising my hand as well.
You can't lose your piece.
I support that.
Wow.
I love it.
All right.
Dan, how are the teams doing?
Where are we right now?
Well, tied for last is we are going to lose
and iceberg.
Yeah.
True to that.
And then, and then way, way out at first is Z-PAC.
Yay!
Four points.
We're never going to hear the end of this from these guys.
Don't go anywhere.
We've got more tournament of fripperies right after this.
Adam, if our partner ZipRecruiter was helping Lumen hire for various roles, what kind of keywords would they use?
Ooh, can withstand fluorescent lighting.
That's good.
Enjoys long, claustrophobic hallways.
Perfect.
Drum major.
Goat lover.
I know for a fact that Lumen would love to search resumes quickly with those particular keywords.
And that they can talk to qualified refiners the very next day, which is especially helpful if suddenly a refiner goes missing.
So if you're a business owner who needs to hire, ZipRecruiter has all these tools and features and more.
And they're designed to make hiring faster and easier.
I mean, that sounds great.
I'm telling you, see for yourself, when you try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash severance, something incredible happens.
Oh, yeah.
ZipRecruiter excels at speed.
Its smart technology starts showing your job to qualified candidates right away.
So see how much faster and easier hiring can be with ZipRecruiter.
Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.
The first day?
Yeah.
The first day.
Yeah, I know.
It's insane.
Just go to ziprecruiter.com/slash severance right now to try it for free.
That's ziprecruiter.com/slash S-E-V-E-R-A-N-C-E.
Oh, that's how you spell severance.
Yeah, I've been telling you for five years now.
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This next round of the tournament of Fripperies in honor of all the big words, Use and Severance, expounding polysyllabically.
I'm going to give you a word, and your team needs to give your best definition.
Judge Dan will decide which of your definitions is the most correct.
Dan, how fair or how much leeway will you give them?
I mean, they have all paid me differing amounts of money backstage.
Oh,
and it's going to be a factor.
All right.
Well, with that spirit of corruption moving forward,
here's our first question.
In season one,
James Egan calls Helena a fetid Muppet.
What
does fetid mean?
Like, it's a bad thing, but
she's spoiled.
Nice.
Alright.
Uh-oh, I lost my ability to write.
Okay.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
Em Iceberg, what did you think fetid means?
We said rotten.
Rotten slash spoiled.
Rotten and soiled.
Okay.
Spoiled.
Oh my god.
Not soiled.
Spoiled.
Spoiled.
Spoiled.
Rotten and spoiled.
Okay.
Rotten slash spoiled.
Excuse me.
Reading our thing.
No.
No.
No.
Okay, well, we're going to lose.
What did you write?
Something spoiled and rotten, like an old banana
yeah oh
wow and finally
well we we have a uh a discrepancy here we
we did not uh like how you pronounced fetid
uh it was a little confusing so so we wrote yeah we wrote we wrote a brainwashed mouthpiece like had been fetid chosen brainwashed we thought it was f-e-t-t-e-d-d
that's still brainwashed
it
is that wrong or fetid we just needed the British pronunciation we needed
training training
training
that's all these guys are so cocky
they're winning Dan did anyone get that right
well so the actual definition of fetid
is uh is smelling extremely unpleasant uh
and I, I, I mean, of those two, I mean, you guys both had it pretty close, but I liked your uh use of an example, um, and I really liked the $500 that Britt gave me.
Oh, nice.
So, I am going to go with uh, we're going to lose.
Wow, there you go.
Hey, the titan works.
Dan, did you consider how bad a brainwashed mouthpiece would smell when you gave out those things?
Smell really bad.
I'm going to sit next to him and cry.
What is a brainwashed mouthpiece?
Well, then, I'm glad you have this.
We're challenging that.
Okay, I'm glad that ZPAC is turning this into Model UN.
We're on the set for it.
For our final round
of expounding polysyllabically, we're going to learn from Mr.
Milchik's performance review and begin simplifying our language.
We've got to simplify that language.
Tell us, in your own words, what is the simplest way to say the following phrase?
Felicitations, commemorating the occurrence of one's emergence into corporal reality.
I do my abs to this song.
Yeah, copycatters.
We're looking.
I thought he was cheating.
I thought Adam was cheating too.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Well, we're now, the music's done, the time is up.
Let's start with the Z-Pack.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
All right.
And icebergs, what did you guys come up with?
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, but
Stevie Wonder style.
Oh,
smart.
That's going to save us some money.
And
finally, we're going to lose.
happy birthday oh my goodness um
dan what was the simplest way to say that phrase the answer is happy birthday that's right happy
um how are you going to score this one
well i mean they all technically got it right yeah um patricia have you been drawing eyeballs back there for each because because i like that thank you i did a little cake
you did a little cake?
I said, Stevie Wonder.
All right.
I was going to give it to Iceberg, but they're kind of thirsty right now.
It's not fair.
Oh, my God.
It's not fair.
I'm still going to give it to Iceberg.
It's ice tie.
Iceberg got challenged.
All right.
Well, Dan,
what are the team scores right now?
The teams are currently all tied at first and last place with four.
Wow.
Is it a tie?
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
Right.
Funny you should mention that because we have a tiebreaker round ready just in case that happens.
So here for the tiebreaker round, two egans and a lie.
It all comes down to this.
It's our final game and it's our truest test.
Let's play two egans and a lie.
One multiple choice question.
lies between you and the crown.
Are you guys all ready?
Yes, yes.
Okay.
Really, really focus on this.
According to Keir's fourth appendix, which body part of Dater Egan's did not change at Woe's Hollow?
Was it A, his mouth, which disappeared, leaving him no choice but to listen as he spilt his lineage upon the soil?
B, his hair, which turned into moss that tore easily from his bleeding scalp?
Or C, his eye, which popped from its socket, driven by a sudden torrent of pus from his skull.
But wait, the question is, which did not change?
Which did not change?
His mouth disappeared, his hair turned into moss, or his eye popped out of his skull.
One of those things didn't happen.
One of those things didn't change.
Okay, time is up.
Let's go first to We're Going to Lose.
You picked?
Mouth.
I feel like you were listening.
They overheard us.
Did you guys overheard us?
No.
Did you overheard us?
I didn't overhear anything.
So paranoid.
All right, now let's go to the icebergs.
Jesus.
A mouth.
A mouth.
And finally,
C-Pack.
We can't be married to each other.
I was under the impression that we had agreed on.
Did I pronounce mouth incorrectly?
What happened?
Okay, what I wrote was Heron DeMoss.
And I also added the word stinky.
But John...
John thinks that we had agreed on mouth.
So
I don't even know how to.
I don't know.
Just so you know,
mouth is the same in American or British dialect.
Yeah.
Dan, what's the correct answer?
The correct answer is a mouth.
The answer is A.
Dieter Egan's mouth did not disappear.
So who is our winner?
So
did you guys draw a picture on yours?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it still there?
Can I see it?
No.
Yep.
No, you didn't.
No, we did.
Iceberg did do a picture.
And it's really nice.
And they also agreed between them.
Oh.
So I'm going to award the game winning point to Iceberg.
Oh, my God.
What an exciting game.
Team Iceberg, you are the true children of Keir and the frickin' champions.
We don't accept that.
We don't accept that decision.
We're going to lose in Z-PAC.
Thank you for playing.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you guys so much.
Patton Oswald.
Welcome, hi.
Thank you, Patton.
We'll get him next, Patton.
We'll get him next.
Thank you guys for letting me do this so much.
Thank you.
ZPAC, we'll be back.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
That's it.
I think that's it.
Patton, thank you.
We have to thank all everybody and our contestants and our guests here.
Zach, John, Britt, Trumal, Patricia.
and our judge, Dan Erickson,
and to Randy George for performing our theme song on Theremin.
Yes, thank you, Randy.
And for Teddy Shapira, who's here for writing the theme song,
and thank you to Noya House for letting us use this incredible space.
Thank you so much.
Yes, and thanks to Barry Finkel and everybody who made this possible, who produced this live podcast for us.
This was
it for the episode.
That's a Severance podcast with Ben and Adam.
We'll be back again next week.
Yes, and you can stream every episode of Severance on Apple TV Plus and follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts.
I'm Ben Stiller.
And I'm Adam Scott.
Thank you for listening.
And thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
Thank you for coming, everybody.
You know what?
I bet Mom and you bet now.
I bet.
Hey, it's Adam again.
If you want to see any of the Bendo photos we were talking about, or Patricia's work of art answers, or the Theremin performance of the Severance theme song, Apple will be posting a video of today's episode on YouTube.
Make sure to check it out.
Oh, and John Toturo, if you're listening, Patton originally said that the team scores would be added to the individual scores at the end of the tournament to determine the winner.
After carefully reviewing the footage, it is clear that you were indeed the Frippery champion.
Felicitations on this utmost honor.
The Severance podcast with Ben Stiller and Adam Scott is a presentation of Odyssey, Red Hour Productions, and Great Scott.
If you like the show, be sure to rate and review this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your other podcast platform of choice.
It really makes a difference.
If you've got a question about Severance, call our hotline, 212-830-3816.
We just might play your voicemail and answer your question on the podcast.
Our executive producers are Barry Finkel, Gabrielle Lewis, Naomi Scott, and Leah Rhys-Dennis.
This show is produced by Ben Goldberg.
It was mixed and mastered by Hannes Brown.
Show clips are courtesy of fifth season.
Music by Theodore Shapiro.
Special thanks to the team at Odyssey, Maura Curran, Eric Donnelly, Michael LeVay, Melissa Wester, Kate Rose, Kurt Courtney, and Hilary Schuff.
And the team at Red Hour, John Lescher, Carolina Pesakov, Jean-Pablo Antonetti, Ashwin Ramesh, Maria Noto, John Baker, and Sam Lyon.
And at Great Scott, Kevin Cotter, Josh Martin, and Christy Smith at Rise Management.
And a special thank you to everyone we worked with at Apple, 1983 Creative, and Galaxy Heights Entertainment.
Our little podcast team couldn't have pulled off this live show and video episode without you.