#604 - Jim Jefferies

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

He's a actor.

He's a podcaster.

He just released his 10th stand-up comedy special on Netflix.

It's called Two Limb Policy.

We actually want to dedicate this episode to his nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent.

Thank you for your service, sir.

Today's guest is the one and only Jim Jeffrey.

How have you been?

How are you doing with things?

I'm alive, man.

What am I?

I feel like I'm stressed out a lot, but it's okay.

I just have to slow things down a little bit for myself.

And then I just,

I think sometimes you get busy and it's hard to like see what you're doing.

You know, you're just going.

And I think some of that's just life.

As you get older, you're just going.

And you're like, do i am i still walking in the direction i want to be in or what's even going on you know well look

the first time we worked together per se was on a pilot for comedy central we were watching some slam poetry oh yeah that was good and now look at you you're interviewing the top people in the world man so yes you're going in the right direction theo i wouldn't be too nervous about how your life's going you know take the good with the bad and keep fucking riding the wave brother yeah thanks man yeah i think yeah i think it's just more like like yeah you just get going.

You're like, what the fuck?

Where?

How old am I?

What am I doing?

You know, you just like, it's just life.

Life gets going like that, man.

Yours has changed a lot since I saw you.

Dude, you had a child.

You have autism.

Well, autism is such a hard thing to put your finger on, isn't it?

You know what I mean?

Like, I might just be an asshole.

You know,

people say, so, you know, I had one doctor say, oh, we think that you're on the spectrum and thing, but there's such a rainbow of where you can be and what you know, you could be functioning to completely unfunctioning, needing help all your life.

So, um, I look, you know, when I was a kid, they tried to go, uh, you have attention deficit disorder, and then dyslexia, I'm positive, autism, I'm pretty sure.

On, I don't think I had attention deficit disorder, I was just filled full of riddling as a child.

That, okay.

But yes, I have had another kid since I've seen you.

I've got a, I've got a 12-year-old and a four-year-old, and I've sobered up even more importantly since we last saw each other.

I haven't had a drink in

close to five years.

Oh, congratulations, dude.

How's that changed?

I mean, that must have changed everything.

I still partake in weed.

So I'm not a sober sober.

So I don't want to preach that I am completely sober anyway.

But you don't drink.

But I haven't had a drink or a cigarette in years.

It happened during COVID.

I started drinking at home.

And I used to have a policy that I'd only drink at work, you know,

which is the opposite of the most.

It's obviously an Irish policy.

Yeah, yeah.

I was like, I can drink at work, you know, because I can have a couple of beers before a show and I can have a couple of, you know, spirits after the show.

And, and, uh, and, you know, you can go in the dressing room in the comedy store and say, give me a vodka redbull or whatever if you're a bit tired or something.

And then when COVID happened, I started drinking at home and excessively.

Like, how early?

Like, were you getting up and cracking one?

Oh, yeah, I was getting right into it.

And then, and then my wife gets pregnant and she's not drinking.

And i was probably quite unpleasant to live with and i thought out of solidarity i won't drink with her you know and then you know look i i i i had very clearly had a drinking problem and and it played out in front of people so many times you know i had my third special we're here to promote my 10th special two limb policy out in netflix right now but my third special was called um

Fully Functional.

And it was all about how I had given up alcohol and I was, you know, fully functional and I was doing comedy sober.

And then I was drunk in the next one.

Wow.

You know what I mean?

And so it's very hard.

And I've watched people do this that are in the limelight where you go, I'm giving up drink.

And you put a big flag in the ground and you say, I'm a non-drinker.

And then you let everyone down.

You know, you let everyone down when you slip up and all that type of stuff.

So I kept the first bit of my sobriety sort of to myself until I came out of coach.

I was a couple of years in before I started telling people.

And now I don't really miss it.

I tell you what, I missed a cigarette.

i went to an oasis in concert and they were playing cigarettes and alcohol and people were lighting up in wembley stadium and just like there's so many people smoking security wasn't doing fuck all yeah and i was like i was like yeah i wanted to light up more then than i ever have but i i pushed through that you know and i had a tragedy in my life i didn't smoke because they always say with smokers they go um you're always a smoker when the you know the chips are down yeah right and i had a big tragedy in my life and i didn't light up so i i think i've I've kicked that.

Well, I hope I have.

So it kind of taught you a lesson or at least showed you that you had some progress or something right there.

Dude, yeah, I remember like, because in one of your specials, I distinctly remember you like having a beer and getting through your beer pretty quick.

And then like, I even remember, I think there was one where there was a couple of glasses sitting on a table, like empty glasses.

I think people thought this was a thing.

And one of my specials, I had a big wooden box on the thing, and I would pull a beer from out of the wooden box, and the crowd would cheer each time because, oh, he's bringing out another and he's bringing out another.

But we all know you record two shows for a a special, right?

You do two performances, uh, you primarily use one and then maybe edit a joke in that you haven't done, or whatever, like that.

And so, for congenuity, um, we had to hide the pints behind the box, so but we edited in every pint that I did drink, so it does

it did look like I had a remember, it's looking at a, I was like, God,

I think it was because it was like six pints in an hour, you can't like no one's doing six pints an hour's doing three pints in each hour.

Six pints in an hour seems a little excessive it's a lot yeah it seems like a lot

you don't drink right how long have you been i had probably i think in my

the most time i had i probably had six years and then i had two one then i've i've had like groups of months you know that's exactly so when i did fully function i had two years got drunk again then had a year and now we're on a five-year yeah and so i'm i don't know if i'll you know maybe i'll drink again but the problem is every time i've taken drinking back up, every time I've taken it back up, I've been good for six months.

Right.

It's like, it's not like I become like Barney Gumble and take a sip and go, oh, like that.

I'm like, all right, I had two, I'm good.

And then I think I can handle, I think I can handle, I think I can handle.

And then I'm back to what happens.

Wait, I'm a sloppy drunk.

Are you?

Does that mean is it what comes out of you?

Is it like aggression?

Is it yelling at a neighbor?

Is it racism?

Like, how do you notice it flare up?

You know, it's blackout, man.

I don't remember a single thing.

And so then also when you add fame into the mix and someone will say, hey, I met you and then you did ABC or you said this, that, and the other, you can't even prove them wrong.

And even when it's something where you go, I've never done that.

That doesn't sound like me at all.

I can't remember the night at all.

I was blacking out.

And that's why it sort of got comfortable at home with who gives a fuck if you blackout at home.

Yeah.

Everybody says a virus.

People are dying or whatever.

Fat people are coughing to death.

Like, yeah, it's a different time.

But also, like, when you stop stop cocaine, you stop cocaine, I started to look more drunk.

That's when people were getting into me, going, you need to take control of your drinking.

And you're like, oh, no, no, no, I've just given up another thing.

Yeah.

I'm actually in recovery this way, but I just look worse because I'm sweating.

And you know, because cocaine keeps you upright.

Yeah.

Yeah, it helps with the posture.

Good for the posture.

Oh, definitely.

You see a guy like

straight up.

Here we go.

I'm back.

I'm a fucking buoy.

Did your kid notice or anything like that or no?

Yeah, my little boy at that stage would have been about seven.

He knew when I was drunk.

Yeah.

And there was definitely times that

he would be like a child out of a movie.

Daddy, are you having a drink again?

You know what I mean?

You're like, yes.

Where'd you hear that sentence?

Was that from the lady I gave a house to?

You know what I mean?

But yeah, yeah, daddy, are you having a drink?

But he laughs about it now.

It sounds like a song.

I think he was just teasing me, really.

I don't think he was ever bothered or upset about it.

Yeah, maybe he just had a really good sense of humor, you know.

He's got a great sense of humor, my boy.

He's got a great sense of humor.

Does he?

Yeah, he does.

I've got nieces and nephews and

obviously my kids.

And me, I've got two brothers.

And one brother is a very nice man,

has a good sense of humor, can't tell a joke to save his life.

And then I've got another brother who is as funny as me.

And you might not think I'm funny, but like like me and him are both the funny ones, right?

Me and him sort of get together like we're in a Jedi council and we decide who's got the gift or not.

When the children are about three or four, you start going, oh, I think it's strong with this one.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So I've got both my boys, I think, have.

Like guessing if your kids are gay too, they do that.

Kind of the same thing.

Yeah, you start to look early.

You go, I don't know about it.

Yeah, maybe.

It's all right, though.

As long as he's happy.

Yeah, so

I've got a couple of

out of I won't say who because they might all listen to this.

So

out of my

five nephews and nieces, two of them have it.

Two of them have it.

And I won't say which ones, but they know.

They know who it is.

They know who they are.

Yeah, it is kind of funny to see kids develop and then you start to see their personality.

And then like, yeah, when they do something that makes you laugh or they have like a unique way of looking at things, or if they start to seem cool, that's pretty neat.

You're like, oh, this kid's cool that's dope um i had i i was talking about the tragedy i i don't know why i'm bringing i had a yeah no you said that something had occurred i well i my nephew died in a helicopter accident oh yeah and we made the news in australia and i want to sort of talk about it a little bit because uh there's been a cover-up by what i believe the australian government so i'm getting into conspiracy theory shit now for welcome

but okay so

You can check this online.

My nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent, was in a helicopter.

Now, how Australian a death is this?

He crashed a helicopter up near the bit above the Great Barrier Reef

for the military and was eaten by sharks.

Like his remains, there was no remains left.

So that's pretty Australian.

You know, that's pretty.

I mean, it's a high velocity.

It almost sounds like something that would be sponsored by Red Bull.

So he was on.

Pretty high velocity.

He was on military war games flying a Taipan helicopter.

And they were in a group of four flying along.

America was there as well.

There were 30,000 soldiers from all of our allies around the world.

And the helicopter crashes.

So it's a games, it's a competition.

They play basic war games.

So they're in formation for Taipan helicopters.

The helicopter crashes.

They wear these helmets that are completely, it's just like all the readings are in there.

You know, I don't know why they can't just do it in an office, like a drone.

You know what I mean?

But they're in the helicopter and they're looking all their things.

The helicopter hits the water.

The four men on the helicopter die instantly.

And

within a matter of a couple of weeks, Australia had decommissioned the helicopters, taken them apart, and buried them in the desert.

The Ukraine said, We'll take the helicopters.

And the Australians went, No, no, no, no, no, don't you worry about that.

Then my brother and my niece and my sister-in-law had to sit through an inquiry that went on

for almost two years

whether the government was responsible or not, where the test pilot stood up and said that those helmets were defective and would end in industrial manslaughter.

Right.

So this was documented that they hit the business.

This was documented in the inquiry, right?

It's like watching a few good men, like talking about the military and the government trying to cover its arsenal,

said that it would, they also, the weather environment, it was raining really badly.

Other countries didn't go out on patrol that day.

They said the weather was too bad.

The soldiers were too tired.

One of the soldiers said that they were so tired they couldn't fly the aircraft.

And then my nephew stepped in to actually do it.

There's just so, and it was just so much bullshit.

And then they made it until they had, I believe, five days to actually put in a civil suit to sue the government or the statute of limitations ran out and the inquiry ended with five days.

Who has five fucking days to get a lawyer?

They dragged it out.

On purpose.

On purpose.

Now I get that the world's going to war well the world's it it's we're in a war everyone

whether it kicks off more who knows right but the australian military might be going into a war scene pretty soon right

any anything you guys do we'll do as well yeah right

um and so they can't be paying out every soldier who dies or whatever like that but this was not this was uh uh war games there was there was things that weren't followed there was things that have been there's literally helicopters that have been buried if If you want to find an Australian Taipan fucking helicopter, you need a treasure map, mate.

Wow.

So I just, the only reason I'm bringing it up here on

this is you've got such a big platform, mate.

And I just wanted to sort of get that bit of information out.

You can go onto my Instagram.

I've put up all the clips there or just Google the accident.

I'm not a big conspiracy theory guy, but it seems pretty shady to me.

And were you able to,

were you able to hi?

Like, how do you even even go about combating that or like getting in investigations into this uh

um

i don't know i think that i think i'm doing it right now yeah i think this is all i can physically do at the very least i'd like my nephew's death not to be forgotten um i'd like him to be remembered and uh what i've seen my brother go through you wouldn't put on to any parent losing their child right you wouldn't put it on to anybody let's bring up a picture of him mr nugent uh Max Nugent.

Max Nugent, Lieutenant Mac.

The thing is, he grew a moustache just before he

because he, yeah, because there, there he is.

He looked like he was from the 1940s.

He looked like he'd just come back from beating some Germans, didn't he?

He definitely looks like a time traveler.

He was ready to go, old Max.

Hello, Max.

That boy, mate.

I remember when he was born, and he was one of those guys.

He's just never disappointed.

Every step along the way,

he wanted to be a fighter pilot, but he was six foot six.

So he had to go on the helicopters.

Oh, because there's more room in there.

Yeah, a bit more leg space.

Yeah, I could see that.

A bit more leg space.

You don't want to be in a fighter jet and be a real tall guy.

Give us your legs or something like that.

Yeah, like that.

Or Maverick.

He's moving the throttle with his foot.

Was he your first nephew?

He was my first nephew.

Oh, man.

I keep on getting his age wrong in every interview.

I believe he was 23.

I believe he was 23.

He was very young.

And was he married married or no?

He had a girlfriend.

Oh, wow.

But that he'd been living with for a short amount of time.

Oh, yeah.

Put the ball off.

But

he was just starting out in life.

He'd just gone through all the training and stuff and graduated to actually become the helicopter pilot and actually be a real, you know, you know, for every.

Everybody in the military that sees battle, I think there's 12 people behind them who are catering and supplies and this, that, and the other.

So I was, you know, they're the rock stars, man.

The fighter pilots and the helicopter pilots and stuff.

We were proud of him.

Oh, they're the heroes.

I'm sure you were.

He looks like somebody very much to be proud of.

That's why I wanted to get a good look at him so we can honor him.

When Australia goes to war, we don't,

you know, that's the first bike we send in.

We send in the planes and the helicopters.

That's the first bit of assistance we send in.

You know, like, I don't know if you know this, but Australia's.

I believe, and New Zealand, I've got to give New Zealand credit, but Australia and New Zealand are the only country that have fought alongside you for

over 200 years.

Wow.

Other countries have dipped in and out just for example britain never went to vietnam australia went to vietnam right we we we i don't know if we get

you don't get i don't know if australia gets enough credit yeah it's it's like trump slapping fucking tariffs on australia i'm a bit like what the fuck are you doing there man where what are you guys yeah these are our fucking these are our fucking our kangaroo mates over here

i know you're very popular in australia

we had a good time over there dude it was so much fun but yeah i don't understand some of what trump's energy is about a lot of these types of things you know it's very bizarre, you know, and I think it's just getting more.

The government feels further and further away from the people more than ever.

But I think it's nice that countries like yours, a lot of countries have spoken up like about what's happening in the Middle East.

And I feel like and have had a voice into, it's been

people now recognizing Palestine as a state.

Yeah, to see these prime ministers do that, it's important.

You know, like to tariff Australia is pretty weird.

We buy three times more stuff from you than you buy from us.

Why would you?

You know, the big example they gave was Australian beef.

You guys buy $26 billion worth of Australian beef and we buy no beef from you.

And it's like, well, why would we?

You want it?

We've got the beef you want.

We've already got it.

We've already got it.

It's like, like, buy, that's like me, like, buying, paying for a prostitute, then ringing her up the next week and going, I'd like to do it again, but this time you'll pay.

You know what I mean?

Like, like, you've never seen on the bottom of, like, you see on the bottom of a menu, it always says Australian waggu.

You've never seen in an American restaurant Australian restaurant the bottom American beef yeah like Milwaukee wagu or whatever yeah you know it's it's like like what do you really buy from us you buy sheepskin red wine

beef and gold and diamonds and stuff.

It's luxury items.

Yeah.

You buy luxury items.

It's not like we're fucking manufacturing fucking happy meal toys in Australia in factories and like those are jobs that could go to the Americans.

These aren't jobs that can go to the Americans.

It's our goal.

It's our diamond.

It's our, you know what I mean?

Like, mate, let's see what's here.

Meat and edibles.

Pearls.

Ooh.

Pharmaceutical.

I didn't know that we did that.

That's beautiful.

Who's buying electric equipment from Australia?

Now, I would advise against that.

After what's happened with the helmet.

After what's happened with my nephew's helmet, don't be buying any Australian Samsung or whatever the fuck we call it.

So let's steer clear from their VR stuff.

We don't need any virtual reality from over there.

Did they have, so they said that his plane went down and they don't really know what happened?

They said it was pilot error in the end, but they didn't know because the masks invert.

But at the end of the day, the weather wasn't right and they shouldn't have been flying.

Other countries didn't go out and there's meant to be a certain amount of sleep that the soldiers are meant to have before.

And I told her stuff.

I would look up.

It was actually turned out to be that my nephew.

There were two blokes in the back of the helicopter and the two pilots at the front.

And you know, the first fear you have is, was he experienced enough?

Was he the one holding the controls?

And he wasn't.

It was the more senior pilot that was holding it.

My nephew wasn't holding it at the time.

But I have no ill will to him, of course.

You know, like

it's an accident.

But, you know, my family had to listen to the black box.

And that took a year before they played that of going in and listening to legal fucking shit going over and over again.

And we'll adjourn in a month and we'll do some more and we'll adjourn in a week.

And they, they spent all their holiday pay and all their days off having to watch, try to get justice for their son.

And then at the end they went,

pilot error.

You can't sue or anything like that.

There'll be no money paid out.

And if you want to sue, you've got five days to get it done.

Right.

That, what was your question again?

Sorry?

Okay, so yeah, so there was another bloke, another bloke actually driving it.

But the, you know, the

black box is just really my nephew going, oh, it's looking a bit dodgy.

Pull up, blah, blah, blah.

That's all you really get.

You know, you get his final words, and that's pretty harrowing to have to listen to the final words of someone.

You know, it's not like they're words of wisdom.

They're words of fear right at the end there.

Has it been,

man, God,

it's so heartbreaking.

Has it been hard to be a supportive brother after that?

Like, has that been like...

a challenge or interesting or what is that kind of turning into?

It's been...

Not hard, but what is that like?

Look,

there's a field piece I I once did on the Jim Jeffrey show

that shows me and my brother's relationship because he was a police officer and I did a ride along in his car and it was just a lot of me taking the piss out of my brother and he took it in pretty good jest.

There's nothing to say when someone's child dies.

You can just be there and you can just hug them and stuff.

The only thing I could do was get on a plane right away as soon as soon as I knew.

You know what I mean?

But in some strange way, so I've got two brothers and those two haven't always gotten along.

They don't dislike, they don't dislike each other.

They're just very different blood.

They're just different for you.

Just different dudes, man.

And it's sort of, it's brought them closer together because when the shit hit the fan, the whole family was there right away.

Everyone was there right away, you know.

I remember going, I got there.

I got in the first plane.

I got there.

And then my brother was waiting out the front.

My other brother was waiting out the front.

He goes, I don't want to go in before you go in.

I want to go in with you.

I just don't.

He didn't know what to do.

So I was terrible.

And watching my granddad,

I'm glad my mother's dead for it, to be honest, that she didn't have to be around for it.

What's the matter of living a few more years to see your grandchild die?

You know what I mean?

So

I know it's meant to be a fun podcast, but I was just saying, let's talk about Chris Lilly, baby.

Let's talk about fucking Chris Lilly.

Or my comedy special, Tulan Special, coming out.

Yeah, we'll get right into it.

But Max,

Max Nugent, thank you so much for your service, sir.

And happy to be thinking of you today.

You know what?

We'll get a nice photo of him.

If it's okay with you and your brother, maybe we can put it in here on the desk or something.

Yeah, that'd be okay.

That would be wonderful.

Thank you.

That would mean a lot to me.

That'd be cool.

It'd be nice to have him in here with that stash, too, dude.

He was, yeah, he was great.

Strangely, I remember thinking when he became, when he went to Duntroon.

which is like Sandhurst or I don't know what you call it.

What's the big military academy in America?

West Point.

West Point.

West Point.

So Duntroon is the equivalent of West Point.

And he didn't get in the first time.

And he studied and he worked as a bartender or whatever.

And then he got in the next time.

And I remember thinking, like, he was just such a committed lad.

And then he finished really high, top of his grade.

And even though he was my nephew, even though I am over, you know, 20, I was 25 years older than the bloke.

Yeah.

I looked up to him.

Oh.

You know what I mean?

I looked up to him.

I thought he was kind of like

a cool guy.

And in the same way, like, I went and did a gig the other day with the Dodgers and I'm like, why am I gushing over some 25-year-old lads?

But a fighter pilot who was my nephew, my blood was fucking doing that.

And I looked up to him.

That's cool.

Sorry.

No, it's admirable.

Well, I look up to him.

Thank you.

You know?

Thank you.

No, I like getting to think.

It's important.

Yeah, thank you.

It's important to think about people that mean something to you.

And I believe that people can feel you thinking about him in the distance.

Like, I think that it's a real thing.

Like, you know, I think it's important that we think about people like that, man.

He fucking was a, the dude was a fucking boss.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you know what?

I take some solace in that he was doing the job that he always wanted to do since he was a little kid.

Yeah, he lived his dream.

They reckon the last time they saw him, he put his...

machine gun over his shoulder he's his automatic shoulder he jumped in the helicopter and he gave a thumbs up and a smile yeah and he was over the moon because the other person dropped out and max was first person with his hand up and so you know it it it it wasn't a senseless death it wasn't a you know like a car accident which i'm not going you know people have tragedies all their life at least there was you know it wasn't fentanyl yeah at least it was something you know

off being a fucking hero bro yeah yeah yeah dude it is cool yeah yeah you know that is exciting yeah yeah shout out max dude fucking he's still out there in the air probably fucking dude.

Well, look, that's another reason we shouldn't be tariffing these people.

These guys are freaking putting their lives on the line.

They've done that for America before.

Yeah, well, we always show up for the wars.

If you pop by, yeah, yeah, it's it.

Well, you know what?

You kind of need us.

America, I know you're saying, oh, who cares?

A country of 23 million and another country of 3.5 million in New Zealand.

So let's, you know, 26, 27 million people.

We're in a country of 330 million, right?

What do you care about that?

Well, strategically, you kind of need us.

We have nuclear submarines that,

you know,

yeah, involved with the Americans, sitting up at the top of our country, because

if China fucking goes, bro.

You're going to have to be there first.

You need us.

Fuck all.

Yeah.

You need us.

Dude, that's going to be crazy.

I would watch that.

If the Chinese got to fight Australia, I would fucking tune in for that.

Okay, so there we go.

Yeah, boy, you're big box, huh?

Oh, there's the black one at the top.

You can can tell.

Currently under construction.

I don't know how to make it.

I assume it's like IKEA or Lego or something like that.

You'd be off to go.

Hopefully it's not the same bloke who made the fucking helmets.

But yeah, we're good to go.

That's awesome.

Yeah, we get, yeah, I think it's, I don't know what they're doing.

I don't know what some of the strategies are.

And you start to realize that, man, like

probably throughout time, people have just been like so distant from the

people who are running the show, you know you all end up just being in the mud while they're the ones up there pouring the water into the dirt, you know you know we had our own Pearl Harbor up in Darwin they bombed it the movie Australia Gallipoli I know Gallipoli was when we went and fought the Turks the Turks I shouldn't say the Turks what am I fucking

the young Turks and a Kasparian

but we fought the Turkish and you would have seen the Mel Gibson movie that was but we had an invasion on Australian land in Darwin they bombed it similar time to what happened with Pearl Harbor, they went after us as well.

The Jays, they're Japanese.

Yeah, and it hasn't really.

It's in the movie Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman.

That's what it's about.

But I don't know if you've seen that film, but

we had our own thing going on as well.

Fuck yeah.

More than 230 people were killed, civilians and military people, with hundreds more wounded.

68 air raids.

You know, it was pretty amazing.

And what happened

after the attack happened?

Well, we just carried on with world war ii didn't we

yes

we we beat the germans man that's what happened you know they had a few wins we won the war man that was it we won the war

it's it's it's it's funny i'm looking at me special at the moment i wanted to call my special hitler right i've got three hitler jokes in it That's the only reason I wanted to call Hitler.

I'm not a fan of Hitler.

I'm not pro-Hitler.

I've just got three.

And I was thinking to myself, because everything's about algorithm.

Yeah.

Right.

How's the algorithm?

Who's so?

Who gets searched more than Hitler?

Yeah.

Who gets to?

I type his name into the Netflix all the time if I'm bored and I want to watch a documentary.

I don't put like a hard emoji next to it.

I just, you know, and I thought that could get a few clicks if I call the thing Hitler.

Anyway, suffice to say, I had some pushback from Netflix.

Netflix were like, ah, I go, it won't be an aggressive font.

Yeah.

It'll be a soft font.

Like Ariel or something.

Yeah.

And I, okay.

So I wanted to go to Hitler.

In the end, I landed on Tulim Policy, which I'm very happy with their name.

But I just got back all the rankings of where it is in the top 10.

I don't know if it's because I do the Hitler jokes, but out of all of Europe, I'm about to tour Europe right now.

I'm about to do a full Euro tour.

And I sell really well in Germany, but for some reason, Germany and Austria, I haven't gotten in the top 10.

I don't know if there's some shit with their voting.

Everywhere around Poland, I'm crushing.

But Hitler's their guy.

Yeah, yeah, but

they're not proud of it.

No,

some of them are.

They're not proud.

There's a two-limb policy right there.

There we are.

Two-limbed policy.

Now, the two-limb policy stands for after I did my sitcom.

How do you meet with the veterans after your show, right?

I meet with disabled people.

You meet with disabled folks after your show.

Yeah, yeah.

So after my shows, I take photographs with disabled people.

But people start...

I did a sitcom many years ago that had disabled actors, and then I sort of became a thing.

And I used to actually just sort of go get the security to go and sort of whisper to the wheelchair seats and go, Here's a thing, come back afterwards.

Come on around, yeah.

But people started finding out about that, and people would write to me and go, Hey, I'm coming to you, see you perform this week, and I'm bringing my uncle.

He's disabled.

Can we come back stage?

And you can't write back how disabled,

you know what I mean?

And you can't ask for a photo.

You just got to go, because I can't have fucking dyslexics showing up, right?

There needs to be, there needs to be, so as I say in the special, I always handle the classics, deaf, blind wheelchair.

And also, you can't just be like slightly deaf, slightly, you got to have a dog or a cane.

You got to be a beast, man.

If you're deaf, you got to have the voice.

There's no better way to say it.

Yeah, I don't like those pseudo-blind people.

They're like, I'm colorblind or whatever.

I can't even send blind.

Like, I'm colorblind, but I still say the N-word.

I'm like,

what are you doing?

You got to choose a path.

So if you aren't one of the classics, I have a two-limb policy.

So you can't just be like a fat fuck who lost your foot to diabetes.

You know what I mean?

That doesn't get you backstage because you had too much candy.

That's crazy that people are faking that kind of thing.

No, no one's faking it, but I just decided what was my parameters.

Rotate.

No one was faking.

I never had anyone coming back.

I think I was letting the autistic back in.

Some of them were over-autisming.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean?

And I was like,

I thought, I don't think this is your real self.

I think you're playing this up for the cameras a little bit.

But I do count autism as one limb.

So, if you have a flamidomide arm and autism,

you're in lazy eye or autism.

Here we go.

What about missing an ear?

Yeah, oh, yeah, I'd do missing an ear all day.

Yeah, like Mark Chopper Reed.

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You ever seen

a look at him?

You ever seen the movie Chopper?

I haven't.

This is my gift to you.

Go see the movie.

That's Eric Banner's first dramatic role, right?

Before that, Eric Banner, you know, the actor Eric Banner.

Eric Banner was a stand-up comedian.

Wow.

You'd seen him perform before?

Yeah, yeah.

He was famous in Australia.

Fuck yeah.

He was doing, he did characters.

He used to do impersonations and all that type of stuff.

He even had a show called the Eric Banner Show where he played.

Now, that's the real Chopper Reid, right?

So the one up in the top corner there, the one next to him is the real guy.

Chopper.

Now, if you look at him, he doesn't have ears.

Oh, yeah.

Kind of drawn on.

Right.

So what happened was he killed a whole lot of people.

Then he went in prison.

Then there was a mark on him where they were like,

I'm saying an arbitrary number, $50,000 to kill Mark Reed.

Yeah.

Right.

And so he said, I need to be moved out of the cell block.

I can't be in this cell block.

Everyone's trying to kill me.

They're trying to kill me.

They're killing me.

And the governor's like, I can't help you, Mark.

Yeah, man.

Seats taken.

Yeah.

Oh.

Why'd he take his ears off?

Sweet and movie.

Because he has to go into the hospital in the infirmary or they'll move him or something like that for his own safety.

He got his ears cut off.

He got another blake to do it with a razor and fucking peel it off.

It's a banger of a movie.

Now, when you see the movie, right?

So the movie is Eric Banner is unbelievable.

it's it's what made eric banner a star he was just a stand-up comic in australia who'd been in a little movie called the castle which is a great comedy that's another podcast and then eric banner becomes chopper

and um does this thing and he gains tons of weight gets really fat for it and all that type of stuff and then his next movie i believe is the hulk or blackhawk down and then he's in fucking troy wow with you know what i mean like it's kind of yeah so chopper blackhawk down another australian movie then he's the fucking hulk and then he's then he's with bloody Brad Pitt.

Oh, with the good-looking people.

Yeah, they put you with the good-looking people.

You're doing good.

Yeah, Munich.

That's Steven Spielberg, Munich.

Like,

it went from zero to 100 very quick.

Wow.

You know, like, and he was, as I said, just a stand-up comedian.

And he still lives in Australia.

He still lives in Australia.

Yeah.

Still lives in Australia.

And I don't think he does stand-up anymore.

I've spoken to him online a couple of times as one Australian to another type of thing.

I think he one time saw one of of my specials and was like, I enjoyed it.

That's the only chat I've had.

That's so cool, though.

But this is the weird thing.

There's like people you like,

you get to speak to fucking Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders.

You get to meet both sides of the whole world.

Plus, you get to interview whoever the fuck.

When you get to a certain level of fame, there's people you can just sort of reach out to and go, hey, and then just see if something comes back.

Like, so at the moment, I'm wearing my favorite entertainer in the world and I wore this t-shirt because you're you're the only interview I've ever found of Chris Lilly.

Dude, well, he, first of all, yeah, I remember asking you last time that we talked if you had met him

and you hadn't yet.

No, still haven't.

I've only spoken to him online.

I've never heard his voice.

He once came to one of my shows and he wrote, oh, I was just at your show, really funny, good stuff or whatever, but he didn't come backstage.

Oh, he's kind of quiet.

He's kind of like a,

he's a little bit of like a missing person kind of.

He's an introvert, but he's a genius.

Oh, he's magical.

He's a genius.

His TV shows, it was like, I wanted, I started showing his shows to my son when he was 11.

He's a magic baby.

And then just to see what he's, if he went, this is brilliant.

I knew that my son actually knew comedy.

And was going to be a good person.

He knew what comedy was.

And then, or if he went, oh, I don't really get it.

This is boring or whatever.

What's a guy dress?

Because it's one guy playing all the different characters and that sort of stuff.

And he got cancelled for the wrong reasons.

Summer Heights High.

Yeah, it was one of the best shows ever, first of all.

Summer Heights High is unbelievable.

Jamai Private School.

Now he's got a podcast of Mr.

G, who's my favorite character.

Oh, yeah.

Bad habit for drugs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's a naughty girl with a bad habit.

Bad habit for drugs.

Ecstasy.

Ecstasy.

Yeah, he's the fucking.

He is.

I'm going to.

For Australia, right?

Yeah.

I'm going to say he's the greatest Australian entertainer we've ever had.

I'm including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe.

I'm including fucking ACDC, man.

Right?

Right.

And these are all those people I love.

Oh, yeah.

I'm very proud to say from Australia.

Volkanovsky also?

Who's Volkanofsky?

Alexander Volkanovsky?

Is he New Zealand?

He's Australian.

Australian.

I haven't lived there for 20 years.

Am I about to be in trouble for that?

He's a UFC guy.

No.

Oh, no, I don't follow the UFC.

Oh, you don't.

That's good.

No, no, no.

But he's a class act.

No, no.

Athletes.

Athletes is a different thing.

I'm talking about entertainment.

We've had some great athletes, man.

Do you know that the...

Ben Simmons was kind of mid.

Yeah, but three-time All-Star.

Facts.

Three-time all-star.

Never mind.

Sorry about that.

All right, all right.

Luke Longley played in the greatest team of all time, was the first Australian in the NBA.

When the Dream team went to play fucking the rest of the world in Barcelona, there was only six players, international players, that were in the NBA.

Six.

And now there was like 60 or 70 in this last one.

The Australians actually had like a proper team, but Luke Longley was just a big, tall cunt from fucking Fremantle Perth, brother.

Yeah.

Right?

And then he's playing with Michael Jordan, and he was the only cunt out there with an accent that wasn't American or Eastern European.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, that was pretty.

Now you've got like Josh Giddy, and you've got Andrew Bogart played before.

You've got Daniel Dyson, just got the block record, the steel record.

Yeah, Zarvidas Zobonis.

What's that guy's name?

That big guy Bogan Durgan?

Bogonder,

but I think he's saying Australian.

They were all Australians.

Our Olympic team is all NBA players.

I don't understand why Britain hasn't gotten into basketball.

How do I say this?

They've got tall people.

They've got black people.

They've got loads of them, right?

It's a place that it rains every fucking day.

It rains every day

in a confined space and you haven't picked up basketball.

They're just trying to be fucking difficult.

Yeah, that's what they're trying to be.

They're too fucking

like, oh, we don't know.

Maybe they don't want a bunch of black guys just hanging out in the park or something.

I don't know what they're.

We don't need the park.

Indoor basketball courts.

Just get it made.

But with Travis Bizana, the number one major league pick last year in the draft is from Hornsby.

We

born the same hospital as me, bro.

And this guy, this guy, fucking, this is just a coincidence.

Me and Chris Lilly, I think the same age, give or take a year.

We're the same age.

He went to the private school, I believe, up the road from me, and I went to the public school up the road from me.

But we grew up in the same bit of the northern suburbs of Sydney.

Would you remember seeing him as a kid?

No,

I've never met him.

But it's just,

there's every chance that me and him were at the same party

or something like that.

Every fucking chance as kids that we're at the same party.

But I was so,

it's weird when you get that where you go, oh, wow he he grew up near me yeah

I fucking I can't I can't champion Chris Lilly enough man oh dude I was saw him in

in

Byron Bay right yeah right outside of Sydney

by Byron Bay

I saw him in Queensland in Bondi Beach Bondi Beach is is in Sydney but it's it's the yes the most famous beach in Australia yes oh beautiful over there even the fucking men's is good looking

Were you doing the voice then?

Was that?

I don't know what I was doing.

I just didn't want to see that.

Beautiful over there.

Even the men's is good looking.

Even, yeah, it's all right.

But I remember he came, we came, we met up for lunch.

And I had some other people that I was like other comedians and stuff.

And I was like, well, I, you know, he's kind of keeps to himself.

So I don't know if I want to have a bunch of people here when he shows up.

So, you know, once you guys take a walk or whatever.

So I walked outside with them.

And then when I came back in, he was sitting just like facing the water, like out on this balcony.

And then I just went and sat by him.

and we just sat and talked.

He had on like this hat.

Um, I'll include some photos from him and stuff, but it was just awesome.

Just like, yeah, it's almost like meeting with like a mythical creature, kind of in a way.

He's so special.

Yeah, he's as gifted a human being that has ever been.

To be able to do all that, the bravest part is just to be able to take on all those characters at once, I think, and then just put yourself out there that much.

Because you're not saying that, hey, my character is going to be good.

You're going to say, you're saying five of my characters.

Brain leaves you, and you believe that he's a 16-year-old girl.

Yeah.

It's just after a little while, you go, now it's one thing for him to be a gay high school drama teacher, right?

That's just a wig.

He's still a guy.

But then when you watch Jamei, and you're like, and then, like, and also this whole thing that it's like, oh, he did blackface, or he did this, he did that.

Right?

Look at him.

And he looks, he's like a little kawala.

But, but then to do Jonah from Tonga, and there's real genuine moments of heart.

There's times you can cry watching Jonah that you feel for him so much and that you understand why he's a little shit.

It's not just a one-dimensional, this kid's a shit-stirring troublemaker.

And I think that's what people last say.

Oh, he's taking the piss out of Tongans.

And it's like, yeah, I guess he is, but...

It's so much more than that.

Even Tongans fucking loved it.

Real Tongans loved it.

The only people that don't like shit are people that don't own it, who want to write articles about it.

My son went out for Halloween this year as Jonah from Tongue.

Didn't do anything with the skin, just

the shirt and the tie.

Dude, I say go a nice polish.

Don't do anything heavy.

You know what I'm saying?

Don't do anything super close to the equator.

But I would go with, like, you know, yeah, something of a good bronzer, I think.

Well, I don't think he was going to put that much effort in.

I think laziness stopped him from being cancelled.

He's like, stop looking at my dick, mom.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, you don't do that.

What do you do that for?

Stop looking at my dick, miss.

Oh, miss.

Oh, miss.

Oh, the best.

And then when they start break dancing, and then that other kid comes in and he's a better break dancer.

This is the, I would argue that Chris Lilly is a bit of a better break dancer than Ray Gunn, the Australian lady who entered the Olympics.

Fuck yeah.

And she put out a bet.

Did you know about the bet she put out?

She goes, oh, you think you're a better dancer than me?

And she cracks her knuckles and goes, how about I think it was like five grand or something?

You can find the clip where Ray Gunn puts it.

There she is, old Ray Gunn.

She's dressed like she's from the local bolo, which is lawn bowls.

And she just, just, everyone else is wearing streets.

Then she does the kangaroo.

But if you can find the clip of where she challenges people, Ray Gunn challenges

people.

It's...

And wasn't there like a ledge, like a big like...

That's it there.

That's it there.

$10,000 prize.

She put out $10,000 prize.

If you can dance better than Ray Gunn, surely someone's, I can't dance better than Ray Gunn.

Who won that shit?

But she was a middle-class woman, from a middle class white woman who had studied hip-hop at university and had a degree in it and then like australia was just like oh the girl's got a degree that must be the one you know i don't think our olympic panel right uh

are savvy with the hip-hop world right and the dancing right it's not to say there aren't kids who are doing dancing in the street and stuff in australia that can't do it we're a very multicultural country country without a doubt there are people who can fucking break dance in in Australia.

I've seen them do it.

Clients.

But

the people who actually decided, there's a lovely young girl, Rachel Gunn.

We're going to call her Ray Gunn, bit of fun.

And because I was in Bondi

when the Olympics were on, and my phone lit up.

Just lit up with all these people going,

you've got to watch it.

Are you watching the TV?

And it was every American comic who knew me was just like...

Do they relate to you?

No, no, they were trying to take the piss, like

your people are on the TV right now.

Because that's the thing about, you know, being a white Australian, we're not inherently cool.

You know what I mean?

And so then when Ray Gun comes, that doesn't fucking help our cause.

That was bad.

It's like watching 9-11, it was.

Yeah, yeah.

For a Muslim.

You know, when a Muslim watches 9-11 and they think, well, this will make my life harder.

That's what that was.

Raygun was the Australian 9-11.

Yeah, 9-11, sure.

Oh, Christ, God.

But the balls on her, just to walk out of the Olympics and have a go.

It was the only athlete that Snoop Dogg, who, you know, how Snoop Dogg was just at the Olympics, just like

wearing the equestrian outfit?

Well, so was Leslie Jones.

Didn't they just have her, like they sometimes they started hiring more celebrities to just be there?

Yeah, just to be there and just show up at events.

Yeah, it's funny.

I pitched a show to Australian TV that said, because the Olympics are coming out, and I don't know if this show will ever go ahead, but I've pitched it to Australian Tele.

I said, how about you get me interviewing people, the athletes, the Australian athletes?

I'm already here.

You don't have to bring anyone out.

I'll do like a little comedy show that's like after the proper show.

After you watch all the highlights, we can do like a little comedy tonight show where we just did the Olympics and make it a two-run thing.

So make it 10 episodes out the door, fucking done.

Hopefully I can do it, but I reckon that would be a bit of fun.

I'd be sick, dude.

And the Olympics are going to be in Australia?

No, here.

Oh, in the US?

LA.

Oh, fuck.

Here, here.

Here.

You don't know that the next Olympics are here?

Nuh-uh.

Oh, the traffic's going to get worse.

Oh, it's going to be bad.

Oh, it's going to be bad.

You'll probably, I wonder if they'll have one of those.

I mean.

And you've got the World Cup.

Oh, yeah.

Everything's going on.

Do you know the Olympics are the reason you have palm trees?

Uh-oh.

I used to do a podcast called,

I don't know about that, right?

Where I used to learn about a new thing.

And one of the things was the Olympics.

And I was learning, I do a podcast called At This Moment with Amos Gill.

You friends with Amos?

You know, Amos.

Oh, he's an Australian comic, very, very good comic.

Me and him do a podcast at this moment, so follow my podcast.

But

palm trees,

there was no palm trees in LA.

They're not indigenous to LA.

And then when you had your first Olympics, and I don't know what year, they planted all those ones along Beverly Hills just to spruce the place up a bit because visitors were coming.

How about we plant some palm trees?

They grow by themselves.

They take very little fucking work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right?

Yeah.

See, I'm not lying.

The internet's back.

I like how you've got a guy who's always checking if i'm full of

every time he's oh no no he said it right and so so they planted 25 000 to 40 000 and at each and that was 1932 right and at each game since then

when they have had the Olympics since then, you've planted more palm trees.

So the reason that LA looks like LA, like what it's synonymous with, if you were to do a silhouette of LA,

palm trees.

It's kind of the only thing in the silhouette, really.

Yeah, a couple of buildings that you undescriptive buildings.

Yeah.

Palm trees.

Dodger Stadium.

Yeah.

Out the door.

Beverly Hilton.

Yeah, the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I think there's palm trees in their emblem, probably.

There's palm trees everywhere.

That one, they're the wallpapers, all palm trees.

Yeah, even if you're like, you see people's videos or movies, every time you see the palm trees, you see it.

It might be Beverly Hotel.

That's a lovely hotel.

Beverly Hilton.

That is a nice place, man.

That is nice over there.

Yeah,

I didn't know that at all, man.

I love the fact that

Australia has so many amazing people, though, man.

That's just one thing that I loved about it.

Just fucking love it.

And it's peaceful, man.

It's safe, dude.

That was one thing I realized.

You're in Australia.

It is safe.

It's safe.

It is safe.

You're like, oh, this is safe.

But, you know, look, I don't want your audience turning on me.

I'm the gun control guy.

You know what I mean?

And I understand.

I've lived in America long enough.

It's, yeah, Australia is a very safe place, but not without.

You know what they're having at the moment?

They're having a, you know, how like the turning your guns?

They're having machete machete bins

in Australia

machete bins.

This is a brand new thing.

They're like where you people having issues with the shetties Disposable bins, right?

Let me see it right here.

An Australian state has asked citizens to surrender machetes at disposal bins ahead of a statewide ban on the weapons aimed at combating knife crime.

Yeah, Australia's state of Victoria on Thursday announced that more than 40 machete disposal bins will be available at police stations across the state to allow citizens to safely get rid of the weapons without a penalty before September 1st ban.

Wow.

They reckon people are just throwing food and stuff in there, though.

Just recyclables.

I just, yeah, just throw in an arm just from your last murder.

And you go, I just, I'll throw the machete in as well.

Look at this find right here.

Those who did not surrender their machetes during the amnesty period may face imprisonment of up to two years or a fine of more than 47,000 Australian.

Wow.

37,1 American.

Yeah, look, look, there is a little bit more nanny state in Australia.

We do have, there's more speed cameras.

You notice it when you go back.

Yeah, it's a little strict.

They do a thing in Australia that I find with around long weekends.

So Easter, for example,

long weekend, they will have the death toll on the TV.

Oh, really?

Yeah, where they talk about...

how many car accidents and how many people have died during this long weekend from drink driving or from speeding or whatever and they'll go by all the states, you know, five states.

See who has the most?

Five states.

Yeah.

See who's bloody Western Australia is doing terrible this year with

five deaths on the death toll.

We also have four deaths in Queensland.

They're not doing well.

Oh, Victoria, one death.

Well done.

Boo.

Somebody else boom from behind a camera.

But imagine doing that in America.

Imagine like a Labor Day weekend.

We're going to count up all the deaths that are happening on the highways and then we're going to report it and we're going to shame everyone.

Also, long weekend, they do double the merits.

Oh, no, for what?

If you get in trouble.

Yeah, so let's say you start with 12 points, you lose one point for a seatbelt, three points for speeding, you know, things like that.

Really speeding, you lose six points.

I think America goes the other way upwards or whatever, right?

You gain points.

On long weekends, holiday weekends, it's double.

So seatbelt two, speeding six, man.

And if you get 12, what's out?

You're out?

You're out.

Well, Australia has a bit of a double or nothing policy, which is like a thing we do because people go, oh, but I need me car for work.

Yeah.

What if I can't do it for work?

The Australian government goes like this.

We'll give you one point.

Right.

And you have to have that point for a year.

And so, yeah, so you can either lose your license for three months.

Or you can have one point for a year.

And if you lose it, then you lose your license for a year.

So you can't fucking roll through a stop sign.

You know what I mean?

I like that.

But you put things on the Australian citizen.

I think they take things seriously.

A lot of Americans, there's a lot of Americans that take things seriously, but there's a lot of other fucking just fucktarts who don't give a shit, you know?

Oh, we have fucktards who don't give a shit.

We're not short on them.

You know, the world's got them.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe I'm being a little bit hard on Americans today.

No, America, man, I always have to stipulate this, man.

Fucking, what a wonderful place, man.

Yeah.

What opportunities and what things you can do.

Just the basic fact that you have 330 million in such a small place, right?

You know, when you're flying around doing gigs in Australia, you didn't get any fucking connecting flights, did you?

You just went to those cities, yeah, they all went through because we've got five major fucking cities, yeah, right?

Yeah, and then you drove out to the more rural places or whatever.

But like in America, okay, I've got to stop in Charlotte because it's a hub.

And I'm always complaining about it, but then I think to myself, how wonderful that we can.

I've been here for 15 or 16 years, and there's still towns i haven't played there's still cities i still have to go to i've been to most of them over and over again yeah but there's so much space and there's also you can be a popular comedian in the midwest and that can be your territory where you know you have your fan base and you don't have to travel too far or you can be someone who's just really popular in san francisco or whatever you know what i mean like like it's that diverse and and and people shit on america a lot because of your low rate of people who have passports, right?

That's a stat they always say in Australia and Britain is like, you know, like 40% of Americans don't even have a passport, right?

And I used to think, oh, that is a point.

I don't know the exact state stat.

Look at it right here.

As of late 2024, approximately 51% of Americans have a valid passport.

This reflects an increase from 46% in 2023 and 30% in 2008.

Right.

Compare that to other states.

Compare that to Australia or England.

So we're saying 49% of you don't have passports.

Right?

That is high.

That's a lot.

That is high.

Like, you're an international traveler.

You think, you think nothing of having a passport.

Of course, you should have a passport, right?

Oh, you guys is

55%?

55, 77,

70% of UK, because you're going to holiday in France.

It's a fucking two-hour train ride.

Of course, you're going to do that.

You need to have that.

Go for lunch.

And I want it.

That surprises me.

Australia is only at 55.

We're only a little bit higher.

Well, we've been catching up for some reason.

I mean, we're 30% in 2008.

I wonder what's caused us to.

Right, so 30% is bad.

Yeah.

30%.

But I never understood it until I moved to America.

And I'm like, well, you can do everything here.

You literally have every weather condition.

that you want to enjoy.

You want to go whitewater rafting.

You want to go to a winter wonderland and fucking go into a resort up there.

You want to go tropical.

I can take you down here.

Volcano.

You want to see big city thing.

You want to see, go to Hawaii.

You can see quicksand.

Yeah, yeah.

You've got every environment on Earth is in the ecosystem of America.

Plus, you got fucking Disneyland.

Right.

So you got an Epcot Center that has fake environments.

Exactly.

You can see the whole world there.

You don't have to go anywhere.

Just wander around there.

Watch, it's a small world after all.

That's how you can tell what all the different children look like.

You know, so so, so I get it because you don't really have to go anywhere.

You kind of have everything that you need.

But there is something beautiful about going.

One thing that I remember when I first started traveling was the first people you see everywhere.

And this is one thing I always admired are Australians, dude.

They fucking

falls to the wall.

They wake up.

They go.

They don't sleep.

They're nocturnal.

They're day terminal.

They're fucking lunch terminal.

And it's even weird.

You find us in places like Whistler.

Yeah.

Right.

You'll be up in Whistler and g'day, mate.

I'm your skiing strapper for the day.

Like, can't we get a fucking Canadian on this?

You've brought me a bloke from the desert.

You know what I mean?

Even black Australians who hear them, you know, like, G'day, mate.

And it's like a black guy.

You're like, wow, that's crazy.

Well, when I was young, you didn't.

Okay, so when I was young, I grew up in a school that had a lot of like Asian kids in it.

I think it was 50, 60% Asian and stuff like that.

And

there wasn't many black people in Australia then.

We had the white Australia policy.

I didn't, I'm going to, right up until I want to say the 1950s, it might have been later.

Somewhere there was whites only in Australia?

It was, we were,

you can immigrate to Australia, but it was for white people.

And so the most darkers you got were Italians and Greeks.

And the derogatory term for them was wog, and that was the, that was the most foreign people.

But that shows how bigotry can go out the window because now they're the most assimilated people in Australia and Italians and Greeks.

Melbourne has the second highest Greek population of any city in the world next to Athens.

Wow.

And that's including other Greek cities.

Wow.

Right?

And so.

Melbourne's awesome.

1958.

There you go.

So they abolished

the non-white immigrants.

It was called the White Australia Policy.

I'm not just making it like...

They didn't beat around the bush.

So in 1958, they got rid of that.

And now we have, obviously, we have a lot of black people and stuff like that.

But when I left Australia, and I left Australia in 2001, and then when I came back just to, you know, by about 2010, just you know, on holiday of seeing the family or whatever,

to see all, so the Italians and Greeks were all Westernized Australian by then with the accent.

Then the Asians came in and then they, oh, yeah, they now you see us Asian Australian cricket players and they've all got the fucking voice.

You know, you ever seen like a Chinese fella who fucking talks like this?

Right?

And it's like, it take, it just, it just takes time.

So so they were the problem.

And then now they're like, and these fucking blokes coming in.

And then so it just takes time and an accent to assimilate.

That's what you need.

Even now you see like a lot of like there's a lot more black country music fans and you see like a lot more like black kind of redneck or like hunting type of guys.

You're like, oh, it just takes some time.

Exactly.

It took it's kind of good because they can't use those things to separate people anymore anyway.

It took Hootie to make the first push, right?

Hootie, I don't know who what Hootie's real name is, but Hootie.

Darius.

Darius, that's right.

But his last name was Rucker, which kind of has like kind of a country tone to it.

So, yeah, dude, shout out Darius Rucker.

He does not get enough credit.

Rosa Park's a country music, man.

Oh.

Like, like, like, you think about like...

And he left a popular band to go, I want to do country music in Nashville.

Right.

Because he could still be touring right now with the Blowfish, going, oh, I want to be with you.

Yeah.

Right.

And

doing just fine.

God, man.

He's, yeah, that guy's done a great job.

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But I always think that like when you say black Australians and stuff like that, so the sports that we're into,

Australian rules football.

Oh, yeah, AFL, man.

Brisbane Lions.

AFL.

Yeah, Fremantle, bro.

When black people start playing that sport, it's a wrap.

It's a wrap.

And they're hiding it from them right now.

It's a rap.

Because we've got like some Sudanese refugees that have started playing who are excelling.

Really?

It's a game about jumping, really fucking...

Jumping and running.

Yeah,

it's a wrap, right?

But I believe all sports

eventually are a wrap.

I think now, so when I was growing up in Australia, I wore a Michael Jordan jersey like every other boy in the 90s, right?

Because the best.

The best.

I never got to see him play one live game.

There would be a wide world of sports, which show little clips of what happened in American sports.

We would get the Super Bowl, would be shown on our TV.

No baseball, no, no basketball would get shown on the sport.

Like a Stingray kills a boy or something as well, would be like one of the highlights.

Yeah,

but we had our rugby and we had our cricket and we had our AFL and all the, you know, great sports.

But now they've got an app called KO where you can watch all the NBA, all the baseball, all the Premier League for fucking 10 bucks or 15 bucks.

You know what I mean?

And it's like, it's cheaper to watch those sports in Australia now than it is.

Now, I believe that, as I said, you had one NBA player back in the day, Luke Longley.

Now we've got like maybe 15 Australian NBA players.

We got,

now we've got, it was the guy in the Super Bowl, I think about

four or five punters in the NFL

because they learned from AFL to kick so long.

And now they've just got at Australian universities, we're just training punters.

We're just like, all right, this is our thing.

Look at this.

So here we go.

Let's get a gandle out of him.

There's Michael Dixon right there for the Seahawks, current Australian punters.

Lou Headley down there in New Orleans.

Mitch Wishnowski.

Shout out, Mitch Wish.

So we've got six current.

Six current.

And I believe there's a bloke who actually

played in AFL.

He's an awesome guy.

He looks awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

And the thing is, because punters never have to lend a tackle, say, look at this fucking lad right there.

Every now and again.

Lou Hedley, dude.

Order me a fucking Lou Hedley jersey.

That's him.

Every now and again, there'll be a punt.

There'll be a fucking balls over there.

There'll be a punt, and there'll be someone return, get past all the defense.

You know, they do that full run back, the whole thing.

Oh, yeah.

And the Australian blokes always tackle them because they grew up playing rugby and all that.

And so every time they're just like, oh, all there is left is the punter.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Have you seen that?

Right, like that.

It's always some Australian black going, yeah, I can fucking tackle.

This is what we do.

Yeah, I'm an adult male.

I do this without a helmet, mate.

Yeah, Lou Headley, dude.

He'll kick your freaking arms off your body.

That guy, wow.

Dude, that's class, bro.

That's such a great call.

It's like everybody should have that Australian punter.

I think I love having more.

I want more Mexican guys in the NBA, dude.

And I mean real Mexican guys.

Well, like 5'4, one guy.

What's his name for the heat?

He's

I've forgotten his bloody name.

They're not renowned for being tall, the Mexicans.

No, that's why they got the one at UCLA, Jaime Jakas.

Yeah, Jakas, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he plays for the heat.

Yeah, he plays for the heat now.

And he's he's class, but he's not, he's not a all-star.

You know what I mean?

I always think with like, also with sports, it just takes one person to open the door up for other kids to go, oh, yeah,

maybe I can, you know, we have Australians in the premier league and stuff like that you know for a very small country i'll tell you what country kicks fucking ass for its size

iceland iceland really iceland's got 270 000 people i might be out by 10 000 or something and they made it to the soccer world cup oh my god i did not realize that statistically they would only have maybe

20,000 eligible men of age for the right age and the right whatever and they made it the world cup and they fucking got through the first round.

Class.

got to the round of 16 unbelievable let's bring up that iceland team i didn't want to get a gander i feel like it's like i think christian mccaffrey's from iceland

uh

dude i just went to qatar not long ago i know you're going to the middle east coming up i went to qatar and this is it one thing that was interesting there was um the soccer stadiums from when they held the world cup are all still there because they didn't they don't really have that much regular no use of them no so you have these huge stadiums sitting everywhere let's get a look at that team that's amazing brother yeah yeah Yeah, they're all just black.

Like, they don't even have a McDonald's in Iceland.

Oh, well, that's probably why they're all

doing good.

Everybody here is just all fucking

geeked out.

Their arteries aren't clogged up.

Is that Jason Ellis on the bottom right there?

Let me get a gang with that pic there.

Oh, these lads are, dude.

Look how Icelandish that dude is.

The third dude, that freaking Ice Indian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm the Ice Indian.

That guy's fucking ready, brother.

Wow, I bet it would be cool to be icelandic have you been there no i almost went to reyvik but it was they had a it was gay pride weekend we were going to go and i was like there's nothing retrovik rekrovik is it yeah i just didn't want to be at there when it was just everything was very kind of overly gay i was there when there was no

gay shit

there was no there was no moon there was no there was no darkness it was sunny 24 hours a day is it fun that spanned the fuck out of me they only get that for three months and the rest of it was no but you worried about the gainers?

You worried about.

I just didn't want it to be, you know, at the hotel.

Every moment, it's so much gainers.

And I guess it's probably what gay people think of.

Yeah, they have to walk into our hotels.

That's true.

And then they're like, I can't be going in with all the fucking hetros.

Oh, I bet they feel that way.

Like, they don't want to go to Sturgis, probably some of them, you know.

Yeah, I think that's all I want.

It was just a few.

Look, and also, okay, so you know, like in Iceland.

I just didn't want guys, like, I'm at breakfast and some guys keep trying to buy me like fucking

like those um what are those eggs with the little ham on it and it's it's a cock you're talking about no

yeah the eggs are at the base and then there's like a ham

there's like a thing you didn't want one of them bought for you yeah i just didn't want somebody sending over a cock you know well you know okay so not that they would but it's sometimes a dress if you are to be gay i reckon iceland's the place to do it because you know they have an app on the phone

So the population is so small that they have to have an app on the phone.

So if you meet a girl in a bar, you both put your names in the app or your license into the app or whatever, and it'll tell you how closely related you are because everyone's fucking related.

Wow.

Then we got to get over there, dude.

So, so, so you go over there.

We have a shot.

So, like third cousin's all right, I guess.

Second cousin, no good.

Warning.

First cousin, how good are you at keeping a secret?

Yeah, right?

40%, 70%.

But that's for the heteros.

If you're gay, who gives a fuck if you fuck your cousin?

It's not going to...

A baby's not going to be made, is what I'm saying.

But you would still, it would make Ellie.

Oh, no, you'd prefer not.

Yeah.

I don't want the gay people kicking off on me like I'm saying they're all fucking their siblings.

If you can avoid it.

If you can avoid it, I say do.

Yeah, dude.

But if it's unavoidable and it's cold and the sun hasn't been out for six fucking months, who am I to judge?

And if you write not my cousin on the guy's back or whatever.

Exactly.

Exactly.

You can, you can, like, like, there would be nothing worse than ejaculating and rolling over going, so how's your mum?

She's still all right?

Yeah.

How's Aunt Nan?

Yeah.

How's Aunt Bjork?

Dude, I got to go over there.

You went?

I went.

And I'm going to Saudi Arabia coming up.

And I find

you just talked about guitar.

I'm going to sing Saudi Arabia.

I've been given a little bit of grief online.

Nothing too much.

About going to Saudi Arabia?

Yeah, a few people have gotten into the comics who are going.

And the list is big

it's it's louis ck me bill burr uh uh um uh fluffy's going whitney coming

festival going out in

the riyad comedy festival and and here here we go andrews into andrew schultz as he's in sari bill but uh jim jefferies jimmy carr joe coy kevin hart you know sam we got we got people great lineup to jessica curson uh namesh patel wow it's as good a line up i've seen at any comedy festival unbelievable Unbelievable.

Now,

people have been going, oh, how dare you go over there after, oh, they killed a reporter.

That was the big one.

There's been a reporter who they killed.

You don't think our government's fucking bumped people.

I think Jeffrey Epstein was fucking bumped off.

Oh, I'm sure that's.

Every place.

We've damaged a lot of places.

Yeah, yeah.

One reporter was killed by the government.

Unfortunate, but not a fucking hill that I'm going to die on.

It's not my, you know, and I don't know the ins and outs of their government so then they get into the the live golf right all the golfers go after saudi arabia for you know a king's ransom amount of money and everyone's like how dare they after how they treat their people and all this type of stuff and the people like all right then you've got cristiano ronaldo goes over and plays there is being paid an ex he gets an extra hundred 200 grand every time he kicks a goal as a bonus 50 grand for an assist he has like an spf fee i heard even just putting it on before the games they pay him extra to do that That's crazy.

So he's living there.

He's engaged to his missus, but they've never gotten married, right?

He's the first person in Saudi Arabia who's allowed to live with a woman who he's not married to.

They've made, they've gone.

An exception.

They've gone, all right, all right.

For Ronaldo, okay.

He can do that, right?

So

strong rules over there.

So you can be angry at how they treat their people, how they treat the reporter.

You can be angry at the golfers.

You can be angry at the things.

But what better

than

basically we are freedom of speech machines being sent over there?

What better?

They haven't asked, they have not at one stage asked to see our material.

They haven't asked, and I've been asked in some countries in Asia, I've been asked for transcripts of what I'm going to say.

Oh, yeah.

Right?

They haven't asked what we're going to do.

And let's be fair, they have picked some fucking edgy-ass comedians.

Some seriously edgy ones.

Yeah, yeah.

Some of the greats.

They've picked some edgy comedians.

So very smart comedians.

If you don't agree, will will Purrs be to be there, Schultz?

If you don't agree with how they run their place, isn't this a step in the right direction?

Right.

100%.

Bringing free speech over.

Yeah, yeah.

Isn't this a sign that they're trying to do something different with themselves?

Yeah.

Like this would have been the highest ranks of government would have gone, all right, we're bringing out 30 fucking comedians who are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want.

Who's up for this?

This is a positive thing.

I agree.

Well, here's the thing that I don't understand, too.

It's like to be, to live live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom of speech, right?

Yeah.

And to say things we want.

Yeah.

And then to judge other places, like I get judging them, but their rules are there.

That's what makes their culture, right?

And it's like, yes, we may not agree with some of them and some of them we may deem as wrong and some of them may be morally wrong or religiously wrong.

But for that country, that's what's going on, right?

Now, some of them I get.

It's like, you know, that's wrong.

That's fucked up.

But some things, sometimes you're just attacking kind of the culture of a place, right?

So

it's like.

And us isolating them teaches us nothing and teaches them nothing.

You know, nothing.

Yeah.

It also makes us look like this loud know-it-all all the time.

That's the thing I don't like.

You know, go live there for a few years, see how it is, you know?

I mean, of course.

Well, I'm not going to live there.

Yeah, no.

I don't want to put that out there.

I'm happy here.

Jim Jeffries is coming over.

He's going to be staying.

Yeah.

I didn't sober up for that reason.

Dude, I will say this, man.

When I was in Qatar, they had everything was organized.

There's nothing out of place.

It's almost like

there's a ton of respect everywhere.

Like, I mean, that's just what you see in public, right?

Like, I mean, things are clean.

Like, you wouldn't like

to.

People say the World Cup was wonderful.

I was, I was anti-I was there because I've seen that.

I saw the World Cup in Germany in 2006, and I saw the Women's World Cup in Australia when that happened.

I saw the Matildas, the Australian women's team play.

And

I thought,

why should we go to this little country that doesn't really have a soccer history or whatever like that?

But everyone reckons the fucking the crowds were super chill.

They reckon it was piss easy to get beer.

They actually had beer taps out the front of the stadium where you

yeah, because they didn't want one of the people actually touching it and blah blah blah blah blah.

And so, so look at, look at him there.

Look at the mullet.

I thought you were just, you had a dirty headdress on you.

You know what I mean?

I, I, I thought that one bloke on the left hasn't washed his cloth there.

That's a, they called it a thobe over there.

They treated us so great.

I mean, obviously we were there to like do a show and stuff, but, um, but it was just great to get to see the culture and be a part of the culture.

A ton of like respect.

I, and, you know, they don't, like a lot of them don't drink or they don't do it.

Like it's not as public here.

There's not pubs and bars and shit.

I didn't notice anyway where people are just drunk.

You know, it's like, I don't know.

It's, it's definitely different.

I thought it was really unique.

You know, i thought it was unique pubs i was talking talking to my friend the other day about this okay so i

you've uh gigged in the uk yep right how good is a pub good in the uk oh good it's good it's like a living room even in ireland yeah yeah ireland even better is that part of the uk yeah well it's not no northern ireland is part of the uk ireland is the republic of ireland is its own place but but they have reciprocal passports you can live in either country so you know it's that part of the world right yeah and the pub is just so good and I feel like America is missing that.

Sometimes they try to recreate an English pub, but I feel like what they're missing is you've got two levels of bar in America.

You've got fancy ass fucking bar, like really like everything's shiny and clean lines and unique and the glass back with all the bottles and all that type of stuff, almost a nightclub chic.

And you have the dive bar that is on bar rescue where there seems to be fucking gaffer tape holding everything together.

And it just sort of smells and the carpet's sticky.

Yeah, some woman's living in the ice machine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're like, you're like, you're like, can I have a Bloody Mary?

And they're like, yeah.

And then they read a book.

Or then they just punch a woman and they just bring her over.

Like, here she is.

That was kind of a dumb joke.

My brain's tired today.

Thank you for like that.

Bit of fun, brother.

A bit of fun.

Anyway, so

I think America's missing that middle bar, which is nice and everything's clean, but I can still walk in in a t-shirt and not feel like I'm, you know, and I don't have to line up and I don't have to know a guy.

And it's just, they need to have more homely bars.

Yeah, we're missing that neighborhood bar that's more popular in every place.

Like one thing in the UK, they have all those, like the White Star.

What's that bar?

They have in almost every town there.

I think it's called the Red, I don't know, White Lion, maybe.

Which town is this?

The White Star Tavern is an award-winning pub, restaurant, hotel in Southampton.

Southampton.

No, this place is everywhere.

They have chain ones, but you don't even know that they're a chain in Britain.

No, they don't look chain at all.

And they're just kind of like in every town they have them.

Like on high.

There's a chain called Weatherspoons, which is a company that owns a ton of bars across Britain.

There we go.

JD Weatherspoons.

One of the most well-known examples of JD Wetherspoons is simply Spoons, they call it.

Well, I've performed in the corner of a few spoons in me date.

Have you?

Oh, yeah, man.

Yeah, man.

Dude, I performed in this one place in South Dakota.

They had a parrot in the bar.

It was like part of a thing, right?

And every now and then, sometimes it could say some words, and sometimes it would repeat a bit of your punchline or something.

Oh, it'd actually like go,

yeah,

or something, you know.

I'll bleep that out, yeah.

But that's a bit of fun.

Yeah, we'll leave it in.

Yeah, it's your podcast, man.

I didn't say it.

You said it.

If I'm in trouble for sitting next to you saying it, then the world's gone too far, I think.

Yeah, and that's gay.

That's that's like sort of my new special, man.

I want to talk about it just quickly.

Just uh, yeah, I want to talk about the two-limb policy, man.

And I'm glad that you had to set that in stone because it's just amazing the levels of people will go around, you know, to try and cheat the system.

Well, I do a meet and greet.

They normally just join the meet and greet.

You do it for free, I know, too, which I think is pretty amazing.

Well, okay, so for the disabled people, it's for free.

I do, I do a meet, I do a meet and greet with a ticket with the people in the front row.

Oh, that's fair.

You know, but like 50 people.

Yeah.

And then the disabled people are included in that.

And the disabled people, God bless them, they always wait till the end of the meet and greet.

I'm like, you come first.

Don't worry about it.

I know you're seated the whole time, and the rest of them are standing, but I always get off stage.

I used to, I used to drink before I went straight.

And the first thing I do is pop an edible because it helps me sleep.

And it's also my way of chilling out.

I don't go out to bars.

I don't do anything.

I'm not bloody, you know, I'm a happily married man.

I'm not out chasing tail.

I'm just fucking, I just chill into my.

And then I do the meet and greet.

And then I talk to everyone a few minutes as I meet them and chat to them about whatever they want to chat to me about.

But you know, you're too high

when someone's paid 80 to meet you and they stop the conversation oh and they go all right jim it was great meeting you and you're like this oh god

i just bored the shit out of these people and they just paid to meet me and they found me boring

Yeah, they're like, hey, Jim, it's getting late.

I've got something in the oven, Jim.

We got a sitter.

Jim's like, wait, wait.

Yeah.

I was just, you enjoyed the show.

Come back next time.

Yeah, dude.

I think it's...

Congratulations.

How many specials do you have?

That's special number 10, but it's special number 6 on Netflix.

I think I actually have the record for Netflix.

I think you have the record total for anybody.

But it has 10 specials.

Were there people?

I think Carlin had 11 or something like that.

But

I have the six is the Hellbounds just a thing.

So, yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, ten.

Yeah, 10.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, no, hang on, hang on.

We haven't got the new one oh yeah two limb policy two limb policy's got to go down there well contraband was just a dvd swear to god was hbo alcoholocaust was showtime then there was epics and then bare down

uh is uh to two limb policy which is on there or all netflix and i think chappelle has like five netflixes or something like that but i was just lucky i was

There was, okay, so there was five specials came out on the first ever Netflix.

Netflix didn't do specials.

Netflix, and just like Netflix was still more of a, this is about 12, 13 years ago.

And they brought it, they had billboards up.

Netflix is a joke.

They started, this is before the festival, and they were getting into the comedy special market.

And they selected five comedians.

And I remember people like actually going, oh, you were an HBO and now you're on Netflix.

Someone's career is going well.

Like really.

Yeah, somebody from Little Guy from Family Guy or whatever.

Yeah, little, yeah, little patronizing facts, right?

Anyway, so the five comics they had were me, Bill Burr, Chelsea Hanley, and Chelsea Peretti.

Wow.

Right.

So it's a good lineup, right?

Really good lineup of comics.

And they were just, if these specials go well, we will continue.

If they don't go well, we gave it a go.

That was Netflix, the feeling I got from them.

Yeah.

And the fifth comic, they were going to do a press conference and everything.

And I was all excited was Bill Cosby.

Now, no one's ever seen that special.

That special has never...

Really, but he did record it.

He recorded one for Netflix.

It's never been seen.

Have you seen it?

No,

you think Netflix give me a special password that no one else gets?

I still pay for my fucking Netflix like everyone else, man.

Dude, that's a good point.

I freaking have a Netflix close and I freaking pay for Netflix too.

Yeah, I got six Netflix specials and I have to log in like everyone else to watch me.

I have fucking two accounts, one here and one National.

They tell me off when I'm in an Airbnb.

They go, you've logged into too many devices.

Me?

That's one of the things I do when I'm in an Airbnb and someone else has already logged into Netflix.

It's someone else's account that I've never met.

As I leave the house, I put my special on.

I think, one more rating.

Get one more.

That's it.

Here we go.

So it's 2014.

Bill Cosby 77 is an unreleased 2014 stand-up comedy film.

Film before a live audience at San Francisco Jazz Center in California, around 60 minutes in duration.

Cosby pontificating on matters of children, romance, and matrimony.

Yeah.

You know, when he came out of prison, the first thing he did, because I was at Flappers like that night just trying stuff out.

And then I went to the improv like a a couple of days later.

And he rang every comedy club.

Was the first thing because he would have rung one of his managers and they'd like, hey, we don't rep you anymore, dude.

And then he rang up the comedy clubs as he was out of prison.

His first impulse was, I want to do stand-up.

Get back on stage.

And there's a bit of me that wants to see that.

Don't you?

Like, like, as terrible a man as he is, you know, but.

I want to hear how he fashioned a shiv out of in prison.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I want to hear how, like if he was still doing I guess if he was still doing rapes in prison or whatever

Or what like is there a group in prison if you're a raper like a scene You know I'm saying or like a group of you know I'm saying like because who do you because once you get into things get very tribal in there So like do you associate with people that kind of have similar crimes?

I think if everyone just

he was he was one of these people who was almost blind He's only got like 10% of he's got cataracts on his eyes.

I think they just left him alone and he's probably

people with starstruck.

You know, you're all you're all criminals in there, you know what I mean?

Like, dude, a friend of mine did cocaine with OJ Simpson once and we're in New York City.

As you do, yeah.

And they said

that nobody had a car key on him.

They were just doing bumps of cocaine.

And OJ had a knife on him that he pulled out and used it to give everybody cocaine.

And I know my friend's not lying about that.

And this is obviously after the murders.

This isn't like

the night before.

Yeah.

But just imagine that.

Like, imagine being, because I mean, he had that book, If I Did It.

Like, imagine us being that psychotic that you're going to live right there on that line of just

grow, like, grotesqueness, really, for people.

It's funny because

drugs are the thing, aren't they?

Drugs are the thing that

if you do them in front of people,

that's a real sign of trust.

Yeah.

That I'm letting you into my circle, that you're going to watch me do this thing, that I could get in trouble.

You know,

there was a comic I know, and I won't get, you know, because he doesn't want to be known about this at all, and his career is going fine, all that sort of stuff.

But he was doing it, you know, and then one of his mates sent out a photo of him doing it to the paper.

And then it was just like, you know, like, fuck you, dude.

Yeah.

Like, fuck you.

You know, I've, I've,

back in the day, 20 years ago, I've done drugs with famous people in the room.

And I'm a blabber mouth.

I'll fucking tell any story I can to get laughs, but I've never slipped up on that.

I've never, I feel that's an intensely private thing.

Yeah, I think it would be awful.

Except for O.G.

Simpson, where of course I would fucking think.

You have to tell that.

If it's a murderer,

you can talk about the murderer.

Who's y'all's best murderer over there from Australia, you think?

Well, Chopper's not bad.

You know what was good about Chopper is they made a movie about him.

The movie was massive, right?

He's dead now.

And then as he was dying, he went on 60 Minutes and talked about more murders that he did after the movie.

No, wow.

He basically became a stand-up comic afterwards.

After the movie came out, and he went and did a racon tour, night with chopper, where he'd tell his stories.

And anyway, so then I stabbed the little cunt and fucking, you know, he did all that type of stuff.

And a bloke came up to him afterwards, who was like some guy from a gang that he had to fight.

And he came up with a book to the book sign.

He went, get a chop, chop.

He goes, oh, it's been a while, mate.

We used to be adversaries.

Didn't he think he was all water under the bridge?

Then he killed that cunt.

Really?

He was already, yeah, he was already very.

And then so he's

God.

He's dying.

He was off the clock.

He's dying of cancer, like a few weeks left.

And so he just goes on 60 minutes and talks about his other murders.

You have to.

Fucking.

You have to.

And everyone could do an impersonation of him.

Everyone does the impersonation of Eric Bannon's impersonation, rather.

You know, it's two impersonations removed.

Chopper.

But do yourself a favor, man.

Watch the movie Chopper.

It's a fucking banger of a movie.

There's one scene where he shoots a guy because he's like, where's the drug money?

Where's the drug money?

Where's the drug money?

Where is it?

Where is it?

There's no money.

There's no money.

There's no money.

There's no money.

Oh, show me the fucking money.

I want to see the fucking money.

I want to see the fucking money.

Like that, right?

And then the guy's just like this.

And then he feels bad for him.

And he drives him to the fucking emergency room himself.

Oh, wow.

Right?

Yeah, that's tough to do.

It's hard to drive when somebody's

when there's that energy that somebody's bleeding in the car.

Is it?

I find, yeah.

I've had friends bleeding and you're trying to get there and they're kind of pissed.

You're like, I fuck.

Look, I'm taking you, you know?

And it's like, but it wasn't a gun wound.

It was just someone cut themselves or something.

Yeah, it was a knife wound.

But yeah, still, like, I think there's that nerve, there's that scary energy.

Or a friend, I had a friend who went into labor and had to get them to the hospital.

It's like, fuck.

The birth, going in for the birth, that is.

Would you do it again?

Oh, I can't.

I've had a vasectomy.

You could do it.

I could reverse the...

Well, they don't reverse the vasectomies anymore.

You know what they do?

They just put a needle in your testicle and they extract the semen.

No, and just give it to your wife.

And then just give it it to your wife.

So if

I ever wanted to have another one, I don't know.

Would that be like some old-ass cum that's just sitting around your belly?

But oh, here we go.

Ivan Millat.

Here we go.

So he's the backpacker murder.

Ivan,

the movie Wolf Creek, you've seen Wolf Creek?

Oh, yeah, scary dude.

That's based on Ivan Millat.

Now, Ivan Millat was this guy.

The British backpackers, if they broke down, he went and helped them out with their trucks and then they were never fucking seen again.

And they don't know.

Every now and again, they would find a body.

I think he's dead.

Yeah, he's dead.

Every now and again, they'd find a body and

they'd go, and Ivan would go, yeah, that one's me as well.

Oh, the fucking got me.

Did you ever meet any of these guys?

Okay.

No, I never met any of them, but there was, I have a story about, there's one called the Claremont Killer.

Claremont Killer was when I was in university in Perth and I was getting into, I'd done stand up when I was 17 and then stopped doing it.

And then when I was 20, I took it back up again.

I'd done like four open mics.

And then I thought, I'll give it another go at it because out of the three or four open mics I had, I had a couple of bad experiences and I was scared.

Yeah.

So the Claremont killer, this bloke here,

Bradley Robert Edwards.

Yeah.

So man convicted of murder.

The crimes happen.

That's when I was at university.

Right.

These are the years when I was at university.

So the place was a now Claremont was a very posh area in Perth and it was a big nightlife place And all the girls allegedly went to get a taxi or whatever.

And so, all the taxi drivers were being checked for DNA.

And I told her,

you know, when you're starting in comedy, what do you do to get more stage time?

You run your own gig.

Yeah.

We've all done it.

You set up a gig in a pub, I'll MC, invite all your friends, invite some other open micers that you've become mates with, invite all your friends.

And this is how you start to work up to get good at it.

Right.

And luckily for me, all the bars in Claremont were dead empty.

They needed punters.

So, so the bar, the Claremont Hotel, which is like, which is one of the nicest pubs in all of Western Australia, could have no one there on a Friday or Saturday.

And so, it's like, because of the killer.

It's like, I was like, I'll make sure we all drive in, and there's always designated drivers and that type of stuff because all the rest of the girls got in cabs.

Everyone stayed together.

All my mates from university, we used to go out into the murder zone to watch me do stand-up.

That's fucking class, dude.

We had

a guy.

Who did we have?

We We had

the Baton Rouge serial killer when I was in college over there.

Bring him up, and that was Lee

Harvey.

No, Derek Todd Lee.

Derek Todd Lee.

DTL, they called him.

Oh, here we go.

DTL.

He was DTF, too, I think.

He was a killer and rapist.

Not a lot of black serial killers.

I watch a lot of true crime.

Yeah, because they kept saying he was white and they kept like

swabbing all the honkies in our town and everything.

And then they caught him.

They caught him right there.

Peanut, they called him too.

Some people called him peanut.

Did he get killed in prison?

Where is he today?

He's probably looking, he looks like he could work for you.

You don't have the death penalty down there?

I don't know.

I mean, if you hang out in New Orleans long enough, you'll get shot once, but I don't know if that's the death penalty.

That's just like tourism.

So you grew up in, like, not in New Orleans, though.

Yeah, regular town.

Covington is our town.

Covington.

Yeah.

I don't know if we had any, no Aussies near us.

I've, I, I very much, it's a funny thing about like

all the Australians who come out, they go, I'm coming out to LA.

I'm going to come out to LA.

And then they come and visit me.

And then I go, where are you going?

Oh, we're going to go to New York and we're going to go to Orlando.

Right.

That's all the three places they go.

Is that the main spots?

I was wondering what are the main spots that Australians go in the U.S.?

I've been telling people, go to fucking Nashville, man.

It's like as much fun.

They'll go to Vegas as well, of course.

And I'm like, go to Miami.

Go to New Orleans.

There's like these places that are fucking awesome.

There's so many cities in America where you're like, this place is fucking a bike.

And there's also hidden gems in Australia that you might not know about.

Like, like a lot of people might go to Brisbane instead of going to the Gold Coast.

And the Gold Coast has got a lot of fun things to do.

Oh, the Gold Coast was amazing, dude.

We would take, we got bikes and went and you could ride them on the sand on the beach, those motorized bikes, dude.

Yeah.

Just zipping.

I mean, the beach, it was like 70 miles long.

You're just cruising.

Absolutely beautiful, you know?

Dude, that was

that's our Miami, isn't isn't it?

Yes, it was.

And it was just like...

But a little bit more redneck-y Miami.

Yeah, a little safer, though, too.

Cleaner.

Yeah, yeah.

I know.

It's a banger.

It's a banger of a place.

But how did you find the Sun?

You had a bit of sunset.

It's going to New Zealand and the Sun there will kill you.

You can't stay out very long.

Some of the beaches there.

Well, the hole in the ozone layer

is over Australia and New Zealand.

It's over Australia and New Zealand.

There's one, I believe, on the North Pole.

and the other one's down there.

But I'm an environmentalist in the sense that I believe in global warming and I think that we need to make adjustments.

Otherwise the world's fucked and the water levels are going to rise.

And I know a lot of people don't believe that, blah, blah, blah.

But I will say this.

We got rid of the CFCs from the hairspray, from the refrigeration and from the styrofoam, which was the three main places where CFC, and the hole's getting smaller.

It does, if we make change.

That is a good example of how things can actually fix itself.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Because we only found out about it.

Like we go, there's a layer.

In the 80s, they were like, there's a layer.

And sadly, there's a hole in it.

And we're fucked.

Fuck.

That's the most.

And like, can you imagine now if they brought that out at news, the internet, the conspiracy theories that would come out now?

If you went, there's a mystical layer around us and there's a hole in it.

And the UB rights go through there and then they

nobody would believe that.

It's too far-fetched.

But it's the same as like the first come to just tell you about germs.

Oh, there's these things you can't see that'll get on you and make you sick.

And if you're, you know, doing surgery or stuff, you should wash your hands because if those germs get into the cut, infections will happen.

What do you mean?

Oh, you can't see them.

Like they're ghosts?

Yeah, that's what he would ask.

They'd be ridiculous.

Yeah, yeah.

They're microscopic.

They're little tiny things and they'll jump.

That's fucking...

They would have hung him.

They probably killed that guy.

That's science fiction shit.

Yeah.

That's completely science fiction.

Everything's kind of like everything's science fiction, really, until,

you know, until it becomes true, I guess.

Everything's, I don't know.

Well, my mate,

Rhys Darby, who you know, Rhys Darby from L-Flag means death, Fly of the Concords.

He's a big Bigfoot guy.

Is he?

He loves Bigfoot.

Does Australians have their own Bigfoot?

There's probably some.

Oh, we have a bunyip.

Bunyip?

Bunyips.

Let me see them by the way.

Yeah, bunyip.

A bunyip is like, so B-U-N

Bun

Y-U-P.

There we go.

Banyip.

There it is.

A mythical creature from Australia Aboriginal folklore primarily found in the southeastern regions it's described as a large aquatic beast inhabiting swamps billabongs creeks and water holes yeah the bunyip well what oh yeah what Rhys always says to me I go I go why

where's the bones where's the fossils where's the thing like this and he always goes the platypus

Because the platypus was a mythical thing until someone actually caught one.

There was people who said I've seen it.

It's the beaver with a duck's head.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's a beaver.

It's a fan beaver or whatever.

And they're so elusive and they're so at the bottom of these creeks and stuff like that that no one ever saw them.

They were a Bigfoot of its time.

And no shit, they look like

they are totally fictional.

If you look at that animal, I mean, that's insane.

They're their own breed of animal.

They're a monotreme, monotrim.

which means that they are a marsupial that lays eggs.

Wow.

So every other marsupial uses a pouch, and obviously the animal crawls into the pouch, it digests, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it can stick its head out of the pouch, et cetera, right?

But this is, yeah, it's a marsupial that lays eggs.

It's its own fucking creature, man.

They're beautiful.

We got to get somebody to bring one in.

I would love to see one.

Well, I've only ever seen him in the Zoom.

I've never seen one in the wild.

They're on one of our coins.

You know, we always put a different...

That's the great thing about Australia is we have

some good-looking weird.

There he is.

There's the platypus, and he's all swimming around.

20 cents.

That pea puss right there.

Yeah,

he gets on the money.

He's popular, the platypus.

I love him.

And are they only in Australia?

Yes, they're only in Australia.

Oh, wow.

See, that's a great thing.

You guys have like, it's just something unique over there, man.

I really think that

people are excited about the direction America's headed.

I wonder if people are...

I don't know.

I just get paranoid that everybody's kind of freaking out right now.

Okay.

Are people freaking out in Australia right now?

Yes, everyone's freaking out all around the world.

Really?

Yeah, the world is in a transitional phase.

Which direction we're about to go in, who knows?

Things might, you know, look, I'm an annie Trump guy.

I know you've, you've met, you know him, right?

Yeah, I mean, as much as you can kind of know.

I mean, actually, you know, I've met him a couple of times, you know, and I know that a lot of people,

fans of this podcast are going to hate me, right?

So, but that's life.

That's putting yourself out there, right?

um i

i'm at the stage now with donald trump where i can't argue anymore i've done the stand-up routines i had a stand-up i had a tv show where i talked about it there's no more arguments for me to make about the guy because he's not getting fucking voted in again this is it right these next three years this is it it's it's here now So I'm of the opinion, let's just fucking see how it goes.

You know, this whole idea that Americans are always with, impeach, impeach.

He's been impeached.

Bill Clinton was impeached.

It's all bullshit.

Yeah.

Means fucking nothing.

Yeah.

Means nothing.

Oh, but he's a convicted criminal.

Only makes him stronger.

What the liberals have to stop doing is kicking up and down going, he's wrong and this is wrong and just figure out ways to beat him.

Stop fucking telling me how bad he is and figure out a way to fucking beat him because Kamala Harris wasn't the fucking answer.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh, I agree.

You know, so I agree that you got to figure you have to.

Yeah, it's like you have to find a solution if you're just sitting there

yelling about everything.

It's all most of these parties do.

But now there is no beating him.

Now it's just riding it out.

Yeah.

Right?

Just riding it.

You know,

it's

he, he said, was it on your podcast where he said he would get rid of income tax?

Was it here?

Whose podcast?

On some podcasts, it might have been...

It might have been with Schultz.

Might have been Schultz.

He said, he said, if the tariffs work, I'll get rid of income tax.

I tell you what, I have been one of those people who referred to Donald Trump as Hitler, right?

And I will also add this, not at the end, not up, because everyone goes, but Hitler killed six million Jews.

I'm not talking about that era.

I'm talking about Hitler just out of art school.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I'm like, you know, yeah, like a sophomore Hitler.

Yeah, yeah.

So I tell you what, if he gets rid of income tax, you'll never hear me call him Hitler ever again.

I'll be too busy calling him my Fuhrer.

If he gets rid of income tax, you'll have no more complaints from me.

I'll be all right.

But like, you know, look, how do you, I'll ask you a question.

How do you think things are going?

I think that I don't like this stuff with Gaza in the Middle East.

I don't understand why

we have such, where we give so much money to Israel.

Like, you know, a lot of the big countries are against them right now.

That think Netanyahu is like, is like the new Hitler.

It's like, or that Netanyahu is the worst.

So it's like, I don't understand that relationship.

It's a tricky one, that one, because no one wants to watch a genocide.

And what happened, they shouldn't have taken hostages.

And no one, you know, Hamas isn't fucking angels and all that stuff but if if you can see those pictures of those starving kids and not be moved and not think that we should do something about that that's fucking you you're wrong I agree you know what I mean so so

whatever side I don't want to get into what side I'm on I think it's pretty obvious where I'm at but

whatever side you're on right

We're all on the side of children not fucking starving, right?

Yeah.

We're all on that side.

So let's figure that out.

And then diplomacy.

diplomacy, let's fucking talk.

Yeah, now we've got Palestine being recognized as its own state and stuff like that.

Maybe that's somewhere where we can start moving forward.

I don't have the answer, but

what's going on now is not the fucking right thing.

I'll tell you that much.

And

a lot of politicians have to, you know, we elect these people to actually make change.

All right, make change, man.

You know,

I could be turned in to a Donald Trump fan very quickly.

It wouldn't take much if he just if he stopped that war there really, like in a succinct way that was fair and just, you got all my support in the world, man.

I'm not just here going, fuck that guy and his dumb fucking orange skin and his bad como, but you know what I mean?

Like, it's not a, it's not, it's, so, so you were saying you.

Yeah, I want to see action.

I just, you know, it's like, and then I wonder,

you know, it feels very much like we're headed into a surveillance state.

You know, these are things that I just like am concerned about.

I, overall, I'd, I'm, I've think.

thinking...

But you were just saying how much you enjoyed Australia and how Britain, all that sort of stuff.

Britain's got more cameras than I agree about.

We'll film 24 hours a day.

I think we're headed there very quickly.

That's why there's all this ICE stuff.

That's why they're pulling everybody off the streets because they have to get inventory.

In two years, there's going to be, I believe we're going to be in a surveillance state.

You won't be able to, say, if you walked out in public and you were not here,

you didn't have documentation to be here.

And people have different thoughts on all that.

That's fine.

I'm just saying that if you didn't have documentation to be here, the cameras would notice immediately.

So everything has to be on the books.

That's where I think we're headed.

And so that's why I think they're doing all of that stuff.

Which I'm not saying makes it wrong or right, but I think that that's a good thing.

But we've already got that.

Okay, so Louisiana has that prison escape, right?

You know, all those prisons.

They caught them all through facial recognition.

Who does?

Louisiana?

Yeah, you remember when there was that?

Yeah, they all ran off that loading dock, right?

One's still out, I think.

Who's there?

Is there one still going?

They call him hot boy.

This is the weird thing about prison breaks.

Never in cinematic history have we fought have we championed the police trying to catch them.

That's true.

Every time we want, so we got one out.

As of June 2025, the Louisiana inmates are no longer at large.

Damn.

Yeah, they're all done.

Antoine Massey and Derek Groves, the last two to be apprehended.

Shout out Massey and Grove.

But this was the thing is there was facial recognition that picked up the people and now they're like, oh, yeah, we have that technology here.

Right.

They had to admit it.

They had to admit it because that's how they caught them.

And while we were using it for a thing, we weren't using it again.

They just sort of fluffed over it like, yeah, of course, they've already got it, mate.

Yeah.

They've already got it.

You, have you seen, I'm going to support the Clippers.

If you go to that Inuit dome, have you been to see anything there?

You don't, there's just facial recognition as you walk in.

That's it.

You've already done it on the app.

As you walk in, they're like, hello, Jim.

And you're like, wow.

Yeah.

You're just walking straight in.

It's happening fast.

It's here.

We're not realizing that it's here, you know?

But I'll say this.

I just want people to be able to be having.

It's kind of like Ethereum, but but it's like you want people to be able to live in a safe place.

You want people to have jobs and have purpose.

So those types of things.

I don't understand some of the bigger picture things, like what happens with tariffs and what their goals are and all of that kind of shit.

I just, it starts to really feel like that neither party represents the people.

And that's the part that kind of concerns me the most.

So well, the tariffs, I just wish they, if you need to do them.

Okay, so

I haven't, I haven't felt any joy from it.

I haven't seen my bank balance go up.

I haven't seen my neighbor get a job.

I haven't seen factories, you know, and I might be wrong, but just the eye check, I haven't seen any benefit from it.

All I found is there's things that I'm paying for that are costing more.

Right.

But maybe it's too soon.

I think it could be too soon to tell.

I think, you know, he's a brash guy.

Shit is going to be brash.

Is he leaning into making it more brash for no reason?

He needs a cleaner fucking thing that we see.

We go, this is how every day you turn on the news, it's like this.

We're going to tariff them 35%.

And this country is getting 30%.

And fuck you, 45 for you, cunts.

You know what I mean?

Like, it really is just a bloke just throwing numbers out there.

If he had a thing with a chart, a very clear thing that said, this country is getting this, and this is the reason why, and this is how we're going forward.

I might not agree with it.

I may not respect it, but at least I'd understand it.

I agree.

Get a fucking chart, man.

Get us a chart.

Things just seem very bizarre.

But I think I feel like they all know something that's going on or going to happen and we don't know it.

That's a feeling that I have.

Any war could happen at any fucking stage.

I don't know if it's war.

It could be aliens.

It could be anything.

You reckon it's aliens?

You know, I don't know.

You reckon the aliens will wait until now after all of it.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you think I've seen a UFO.

You know where I saw a UFO?

I saw a UFO with...

a plane of people.

I was on an aeroplane and I saw a UFO and we all looked out the window and went, oh, bubba, bubba.

In USA, in USA.

In America.

Wow.

But we were flying over Area 51.

We were flying near Vegas, coming back across the thing.

It was probably, I don't think I saw an alien.

I think I saw a test vehicle being flown, but it was circular like a ball and it moved in those type of

no doubt you saw it.

I saw it with a lot of people.

I saw it with a lot of people.

And have y'all kept in touch or anything like that?

No, I didn't get me phone out, which I wish I did, because we all went, whoa.

And I was over Area 51.

Area 51, by its own admission, is where they test new aircrafts, right?

Where they test new aircraft.

So I saw an unidentified flying object.

I don't believe there were aliens in it.

Now,

could it be alien technology?

I don't think.

It's a really long way.

I believe there's lots of aliens out there.

I believe there's tons of them.

I just don't think if you came here and visited, you'd hover around a little bit and then duck off.

I think there'd be more to it.

I think they used to come here a lot, and now this is like going to like an old theme park.

I don't think they come here as much.

I think like if you have to bring your kids here for like their spring break, if you're an alien, their kids are like, fuck that place, you know?

So I think they're probably off doing cooler shit, maybe.

But

what do I know, you know?

No, you don't want to go there.

It's like our planet in the 70s.

Or like they're like Panama City Beach or something, Florida.

You know, it's like used to be great, but now they're all going to like Vegas somewhere and some other places.

Do you think in your lifetime we will have proof of aliens?

Yes, I do.

In In your lifetime.

Yeah, I think something

is looming in the distance, it feels like.

Because we have proof of UFOs.

They've shown the footage.

The FBI has released footage.

Fucking you saw one.

Yeah,

but it's unidentified flying objects.

It doesn't mean...

And it so happens that you seem to see them more in America.

That makes no fucking sense.

Scarters see them the most.

Do they?

Scotts, yeah.

They love them.

But they're heavy drinkers.

Heavy, heavy drinkers.

Exactly.

And it's always so cloudy.

You get a little bit of light coming through the clouds.

Hey, hey, hello.

You're four?

Seen it?

You know what I mean?

That's just the sun, mate.

That's just a bit of ray gun live.

Jim Jeffrey, dude, thanks so much for hanging out, dude.

I got a freaking guy.

I got a show tonight.

So I gotta.

Can I just plug what I've got going on?

Just very quickly, I'll just get my plugs out of the way.

I've got Two Limb Policy on Netflix right now.

Watch it.

Very proud of it.

Happy with this special.

I also have a podcast called ATM with me and Amos Gill that is coming out.

I am in a movie coming out, a Jordan Peele film

called Him, which is directed by Justin Tipping, produced by Jordan Peele, Marlon Wayans, Tyreek Withers, Julia Fox, and it's like a proper cinematic release, and I'm like doing drama shit, man.

I'm like acting in that.

And I have a TV show on Fox, which is a reality show called The Snake, which is a lot of fun, which is my 12-year-old's favorite program.

Favorite thing I've done.

So The Snake is like a mix between Fear Factor, Survivor, and Big Brother.

But check out The Snake.

Yeah.

The Snake's all right, man.

And you can watch it with your kids, right?

It's the first thing I've done that I can watch with my kids.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So

that's me four things.

Last time I did a podcast with you, probably six years ago or something like that.

And that's,

I'll wait until all these things are done and see if I have some new new stuff and come back in again.

I'd love to anytime.

I feel bad, man, today.

I was just really kind of tired.

I think I'm kind of exhausted, so it was hard for me to like think of some different stuff, you know.

I didn't shut up, man.

So I'm sorry if you had some more questions.

No, it was a blessing, dude.

And we want to get that photo of Lieutenant Max Nugent.

We'd love to keep him here if it's okay with your brother.

That would be

unless that's weird.

Is it weird?

You don't have to have him here all the time.

You can have him sometimes or whatever or whatever.

But

no, anytime we can remember, that's the favorite.

My favorite thing I just did today was talk about my nephew.

Yeah, so it was awesome to see a photo of him.

And thank you for sharing.

And thank you for your service, Mr.

Max Nugent.

We appreciate that.

Jim Jeffries,

two

limb

policy

is out now.

Check it out.

I'll share it on socials in just in just a few minutes as soon as you get out of here.

Thanks so much, dude, and congratulations on everything, dude.

Thanks, bro.

Yeah, you too.

Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I must be

cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind.

I found I can feel it

in my bones.

But it's gonna take

a little bit

of a little bit.