#604 - Jim Jefferies

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Speaker 2 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's an actor.
He's a podcaster. He just released his 10th stand-up comedy special on Netflix.
It's called Two Limb Policy.

Speaker 1 We actually want to dedicate this episode to his nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent. Thank you for your service, sir.
Today's guest is the one and only Jim Jeffries.

Speaker 1 And I will

Speaker 1 find a song where I've been staying.

Speaker 2 Have you been? How are you doing with things?

Speaker 1 I'm alive, man.

Speaker 2 What am I?

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm stressed out a lot, but it's okay. I just have to slow things down a little bit for myself.
And then I just,

Speaker 1 I think sometimes you get busy and it's hard to like see what you're doing. You know, you're just going.
And I think some of that's just life.

Speaker 1 As you get older, you're just going and you're like, do I, am I still walking in the direction I want to be in? Or what's even going on, you know?

Speaker 2 Well, look,

Speaker 2 the first time we worked together per se was on a pilot for Comedy Central and we were watching some slam poetry. Oh, yeah, that was good.
And now fucking look at you.

Speaker 2 You're interviewing the top people in the world, man. So, yes, you're going in the right direction, Theo.
I wouldn't be too nervous about how your life's going.

Speaker 2 You know, take the good with the bad and keep fucking riding the wave, brother.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think it's just more like, like, yeah, you just get going.

Speaker 2 You're like, what the fuck? Where?

Speaker 1 How old am I? What am I doing? You know, you're just like, it's just life. Life gets going like that, man.
Yours has changed a lot since I saw you. Dude, you had a child.
You have autism.

Speaker 2 Well, autism is such a hard thing to put your finger on, isn't it? You know what I mean? Like, I might just be an asshole, you know?

Speaker 2 People always say,

Speaker 2 you know, I had one doctor say, oh, we think that you're on the spectrum and things, but there's such a rainbow of where you can be and what, you know, you could be functioning to completely unfunctioning, needing help all your life.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I look, you know, when I was a kid, they tried to go, you have attention deficit disorder. And then dyslexia, I'm positive.
Autism, I'm pretty sure on. I don't think I had attention deficit disorder.

Speaker 2 I was just filled full of riddle and as a child.

Speaker 2 Okay. But yes, I have had another kid since I've seen you.
I've got a 12-year-old and a four-year-old, and I've sobered up even more importantly since we last saw each other.

Speaker 2 I haven't had a drink in close to five years.

Speaker 1 Oh, congratulations, dude. How's that changed? I mean, that must have changed everything.

Speaker 2 I still

Speaker 2 partake in weed. So I'm not sober, sober.
So I don't want to preach that I am completely sober anyway. But you don't drink.
But I haven't had a drink or a cigarette in years.

Speaker 2 It happened during COVID.

Speaker 2 I started. drinking at home.
And I used to have a policy that I'd only drink at work, you know,

Speaker 2 which is the opposite of most of the time. It's obviously an Irish policy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, I was like, I can drink at work, you know, because I can have a couple of beers before a show and I can have a couple of, you know, spirits after the show. And,

Speaker 2 you know, you can go in the dressing room in the comedy store and say, give me a vodka redbull or whatever if you're a bit tired or something.

Speaker 2 And then when COVID happened, I started drinking at home. And excessively.

Speaker 1 Like, how early? Like, were you getting up and cracking one?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I was getting right into it. And then, and then my wife gets pregnant and she's not drinking.
And I was probably quite unpleasant to live with.

Speaker 2 And I thought, out of solidarity, I won't drink with her.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, look,

Speaker 2 I very clearly had a drinking problem and it played out in front of people so many times.

Speaker 2 You know, I had my third special, we're here to promote my 10th special, Two Limb Policy out on Netflix right now. But my third special was called

Speaker 2 Fully Functional. And it was all about how I had given up alcohol, and I was, you know, fully functional, and I was doing comedy sober.
And then I was drunk in the next one. Wow.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And so it's very hard. And I've watched people do this that are in the limelight where you go, I'm giving up drink.
And you put a big flag in the ground and you say, I'm a non-drinker.

Speaker 2 And then you let everyone down.

Speaker 2 You know, you let everyone down when you slip up and all that type of stuff.

Speaker 2 So I kept the first bit of my sobriety sort of to myself until I came out of co-I was a couple of years in before I started telling people.

Speaker 2 And now I don't really miss it I tell you what I missed a cigarette I went to an oasis in concert and they were playing cigarettes and alcohol and people were lighting up in Wembley Stadium and just like there's so many people smoking security wasn't doing fuck all yeah and I was like I was like yeah I wanted to light up more then than I ever had but I pushed through that you know and I had a tragedy in my life I didn't smoke because they always say with smokers they go

Speaker 2 you're always a smoker when the you know the chips are down yeah right and I had a big tragedy in my life and I didn't light up. So I think I've kicked that.
Well, I hope I have.

Speaker 1 So it kind of taught you a lesson or at least showed you you had some progress or something right there.

Speaker 1 Dude, yeah, I remember like, because in one of your specials, I distinctly remember you like having a beer and getting through your beer pretty quick.

Speaker 1 And then like, I even remember, I think there was one where there was a couple of glasses sitting on a table, like empty glasses.

Speaker 2 I think people thought this was a thing.

Speaker 2 On one of my specials, I had a big wooden box on the thing, and I would pull a beer from out of the wooden box, and the crowd would cheer each time because, oh, he's bringing out another one, he's bringing another one.

Speaker 2 but we all know you record two uh shows for a special right you do two performances uh you primarily use one and then maybe edit a joke in that you haven't done or whatever like that and so for congenuity um we had to hide the pints behind the box so but we edited in every pint that i did drink so it does

Speaker 2 it did it did look like i had a remember it's looking at a i was like gosh

Speaker 2 i think it was because it was like six pints in an hour you can't like no one's doing six pints an hour's doing three pints in each hour. Six pints in an hour seems a little excessive.
It's a lot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it seems like a lot.

Speaker 2 You don't drink, right? How long have you been?

Speaker 1 I had probably, I think in my, the most time I had, I probably had six years and then I had two, one, then I've had like groups of months, you know? That's exactly.

Speaker 2 So when I did fully function, I had two years, got drunk again, then had a year, and now we're on a five-year. Yeah.
And so

Speaker 2 I don't know if I'll, you know, maybe I'll drink again.

Speaker 2 but the problem is every time i've taken drinking back up every time i've taken it back up i've been good for six months right it's like it's not like i become like barney gumball and take a sip and go oh like that i'm like all right i had two i'm good and then i think i can handle i think i can handle i think i can handle and then i'm back to what happens wait i'm i'm a sloppy drunk are you does that mean is it what comes out of you is it like aggression is it yelling at a neighbor is it racism like how do you notice it flare up you know it's blackout man i don't remember a single thing and so then also with when you add fame into the mix and someone will say hey i met you and then you did abc or you said or this that and the other you can't even prove them wrong and even when it's something where you go i've never done that that doesn't sound like me at all I can't remember the night at all.

Speaker 2 I was blacking out. And that's why it sort of got comfortable at home with who gives a fuck if you blackout at home.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody says a virus, people are dying or whatever. Fat people are coughing to death.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, it's a different time. But I, but also, like, when you stop cocaine, you stop cocaine, I started to look more drunk.

Speaker 2 That's when people were getting into me, going, you need to take control of your drinking. And you're like, oh, no, no, no, I've just given up another thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm actually in recovery this way, but I just look worse because I'm sweating. And you know, because cocaine keeps you upright, yeah, yeah, it helps with the posture.
Good for the posture.

Speaker 2 Oh, definitely. You see a guy like

Speaker 2 straight up.

Speaker 2 Here we go. I'm back.

Speaker 1 I'm a fucking buoy

Speaker 2 i uh did your kid notice or anything like that or no my

Speaker 2 yeah my little boy at that stage would have been about seven and he knew when i was drunk yeah and there was definitely times that that he would be like a child out of a movie daddy are you having a drink again

Speaker 2 you know what i mean you're like yes

Speaker 2 where'd you hear that sentence was that from the lady i gave a house to you know

Speaker 2 um but uh yeah yeah daddy are you having a drink but he laughs about it now. It sounds like a song.
I think he was just teasing me, really. I don't think he was ever bothered or upset about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe he just had a really good sense of humor, you know.

Speaker 2 He's got a great sense of humor, my boy. He's got a great sense of humor.
Does he? Yeah, he does. I've got nieces and nephews and

Speaker 2 obviously my kids. And me, I've got two brothers.
And one brother is a very nice man,

Speaker 2 has a good sense of humor, can't tell a joke to save his life.

Speaker 2 And then I've got another brother who is as funny as me. And you might not think I'm funny, but like me and him are both the funny ones, right?

Speaker 2 Me and him sort of get together like we're in a Jedi council and we decide who's got the gift or not. When the children are about three or four, you start going, oh, I think it's strong with this one.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, yeah. So I've got both my boys, I think, happy.

Speaker 1 I'm guessing if your kids are gay, too, they do that.

Speaker 2 Kind of the same thing. Yeah, you start to look early, you go, I don't know about it.
Yeah, maybe. It's all right, though, as long as he's happy.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 uh,

Speaker 2 yeah, so I've got, I've got a, I've got a couple of uh, out of, I won't say who because they might all listen to this. So, out of, out of my uh, five nephews and nieces, two of them have it.

Speaker 2 Two of them have it. I won't say which ones, but they know, they know who it is, they know who they are.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is kind of funny to see kids develop and then you start to see their personality.

Speaker 1 And then, like, yeah, when they do something that makes you laugh or they have like a unique way of looking at things, or if they start to seem cool, that's pretty neat.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, this kid's fucking cool. That's dope.

Speaker 2 I was talking about the tragedy. I don't know why I bring it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you said that something had occurred.

Speaker 2 My nephew died in a helicopter accident. Oh.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and we made the news in Australia, and I want to sort of talk about it a little bit because there's been a cover-up by what I believe the Australian government.

Speaker 2 So I'm getting into conspiracy theory shit now.

Speaker 2 Welcome. But okay, so you can check this online.
My nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent, was in a helicopter. Now, how Australian a death is this?

Speaker 2 He crashed a helicopter up near the bit above the Great Barrier Reef for the military and was eaten by sharks, like his remains, there was no remains left. So that's pretty Australian.

Speaker 2 You know, that's pretty.

Speaker 1 It's a high velocity. It almost sounds like something that would be sponsored by Red Bull.

Speaker 2 So he was on. Pretty high velocity.
He was on military war games flying a Taipan helicopter. And they were in a group of four

Speaker 2 flying along. um america was there as well there was 30 000 soldiers from all of our allies around the world

Speaker 2 and uh the the helicopter crashes so it's a games it's a competition they play basic war games like that so they're in formation for uh taipan helicopters the helicopter crashes they wear these helmets that uh completely it's just like all the readings are in there you know i don't know why they can't just do it in an office like a drone you know what i mean but but but they're in the helicopter and they're looking all their things uh the helicopter hits the water.

Speaker 2 The four men on the helicopter die instantly.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 within a matter of a couple of weeks, Australia had decommissioned the helicopters, taken them apart, and buried them in the desert.

Speaker 2 The Ukraine said, we'll take the helicopters. And the Australians went, no, no, no, no, no, don't you worry about that.

Speaker 2 Then my brother and my niece and my sister-in-law had to sit through an inquiry that went on

Speaker 2 for almost two years

Speaker 2 whether the government was responsible or not, where the test pilot stood up and said that those helmets were defective and would end in industrial manslaughter.

Speaker 1 Right. So, this was documented that they're here.

Speaker 2 This was documented in the inquiry, right? It's like watching a few good men, like talking about the military and the government trying to cover its arsenal.

Speaker 2 I said, said that it would, that also, the weather environment, it was raining really badly. Other countries didn't go out on patrol that day.
They said the weather was too bad.

Speaker 2 The soldiers were too tired. One of the soldiers said that they were so tired they couldn't fly the aircraft.
And then my nephew stepped in to actually do it.

Speaker 2 There's just so, and it was just so much bullshit.

Speaker 2 And then they made it until they had, I believe, five days to actually put in a civil suit to sue the government or the statute of limitations ran out and the inquiry ended with five days.

Speaker 2 Who has five fucking days to get a lawyer? They dragged it out. On purpose.
On purpose. that we now I get that the world's going to war well the world's it it's we're in a war everyone

Speaker 2 whether it kicks off more who knows right but the Australian military might be going into a war scene pretty soon right any anything you guys do we'll do as well yeah right

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 so they can't be paying out every soldier who dies or whatever like that but this was not this was a war games there was there was things that weren't followed there was things that have been there's literally helicopters that have been buried.

Speaker 2 If you want to find an Australian Taipan fucking helicopter, you need a treasure map, mate. Wow.
So I just, the only reason I'm bringing it up here on

Speaker 2 this is you've got such a big platform, mate. And I just wanted to sort of get that bit of information out.
You can go onto my Instagram. I've put up all the clips there, or just Google the accident.

Speaker 2 I'm not a big conspiracy theory guy, but it seems pretty shady to me.

Speaker 1 And were you able to,

Speaker 1 were you able to like, how do you even go about combating that or like getting in investigations into this?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think I'm doing it right now.

Speaker 2 I think this is all I can physically do. At the very least, I'd like my nephew's death not to be forgotten.

Speaker 2 I'd like him to be remembered. And what I've seen my brother go through, you wouldn't put on to any parent losing their child, right?

Speaker 2 You wouldn't put it onto anybody let's bring up a picture of him mr nugent uh max nugent max nugent lieutenant max the thing is he grew a mustache just before he

Speaker 2 because yeah because he there there he is he looked like he was he looked like he was from the 1940s he looked like he'd just come back from beating some germans didn't he

Speaker 2 looks like a time traveler

Speaker 2 he was ready to go old max hello max that boy mate i i was i i remember i remember when he was born and he was one of those guys he's just never disappointed every step along the way he he wanted to be a fighter pilot but he was six foot six oh um so he had to go in the helicopters but oh because there's more room in there yeah a bit more leg space yeah i could see that more leg space you don't want to be in a fighter jet and be a real tall guy you know give us your legs or something like that like that or a maverick

Speaker 2 but he's moving the throttle with his foot did um was he your first nephew he was my first nephew oh man he's uh i keep on getting his age wrong in every interview i believe he was 23 I believe he was 23.

Speaker 2 He was very young.

Speaker 1 And was he married or no? He had a girlfriend.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 But that he'd been living with for a short amount of time. Oh, yeah.
Put them in the girlfriend.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 he was just starting out in life. He'd just gone through all the training and stuff and graduated to actually become the helicopter pilot and actually be a real, you know, for every.

Speaker 2 Everybody in the military that sees battle, I think there's 12 people behind them who are catering and supplies and this, that, and the other.

Speaker 2 You know, they're the rock stars, man.

Speaker 2 the fighter pilots and the helicopter pilots and stuff we were proud of him oh they're the heroes i'm sure you were he looks like somebody very much to be proud of that's why i wanted to get a good look at him so we can honor him when australia goes to war we don't

Speaker 2 you know that's the first bike we send in we send in the planes and the helicopters that's the first bit of assistance we send in you know like i don't know if you know this but australia's I believe, and New Zealand, I got to give New Zealand credit, but Australia and New Zealand are the only country that have fought alongside you for

Speaker 2 over 200 years wow other countries have dipped in and out just for example britain never went to vietnam australia went to vietnam right we we we i don't know if we get there you don't get away i don't know if australia gets enough credit yeah it's like trump slapping fucking tariffs on australia i'm a bit like what the are you doing there man where one of you guys yeah these are our fucking these are our fucking our kangaroo mates

Speaker 2 i know you're very popular in australia

Speaker 1 we had a good time over there dude it was so much fun but yeah i don't understand some of what trump's energy is about a lot of these types of things.

Speaker 1 You know, it's very bizarre, you know, and I think it's just getting more.

Speaker 1 The government feels further and further away from the people more than ever.

Speaker 1 But I think it's nice that countries like yours, a lot of countries have spoken up like about what's happening in the Middle East. And I feel like and have had a voice into it.
It's been

Speaker 2 people now recognizing Palestine as a state.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to see these see prime ministers do that, it's important.

Speaker 2 You know, like to tariff Australia is pretty weird. We buy three times more stuff from you than you buy from us.

Speaker 2 why would you you know the big example they gave was uh australian beef they that you guys buy 26 billion dollars worth of australian beef and we buy no beef from you and it's like well why would we you want it we've got the beef you want yeah we've already got it

Speaker 2 we've already got it it's like like buying that's like me like buying paying for a prostitute then ringing her up the next week and going i'd like to do it again but this time you'll pay yeah you know what i mean like like you've never seen on the bottom of like you see on on the bottom of a menu it always says australian wagu you've never seen in an american restaurant australian restaurant the bottom american bee

Speaker 2 yeah like milwaukee wagu or whatever yeah you know it's it's like look what do you really buy from us you buy sheepskin red wine

Speaker 2 beef and gold and diamonds and stuff. It's luxury items.
Yeah. You buy luxury items.
It's not like we're fucking manufacturing fucking happy meal toys in Australia in factories.

Speaker 2 And like, like those are jobs that could go to the Americans

Speaker 2 these aren't jobs that can go to the Americans it's our goal it's our diamond it's our you know what I mean like mate let's see what's here meat and edibles pearls oh pharmaceutical I didn't know that we we did that that's beautiful Who's buying electric equipment from Australia?

Speaker 2 Now, I would advise against that. After what's happened with the helmet,

Speaker 2 after what's happened with my nephew's helmet, don't be buying any Australian Samsung or whatever the fuck we call it.

Speaker 1 So let's steer clear from their VR stuff. We don't need any virtual reality from over there.
Did they have, so they said that his plane went down and then they don't really know what happened?

Speaker 2 They said it was pilot error in the end, but they didn't know because the masks invert. But at the end of the day, the weather wasn't right and they shouldn't have been flying.

Speaker 2 Other countries didn't go out and there's meant to be a certain amount of sleep that the soldiers are meant to have before and that sort of stuff.

Speaker 2 I would look, oh, it was actually turned out to be that my nephew, there was two blokes in the back of the helicopter and two pilots at the front.

Speaker 2 And, you know, the first fear you have is, was he experienced enough? Was he the one holding the controls?

Speaker 2 And he wasn't. It was the more senior pilot that was holding it.
My nephew wasn't holding it at the time. But I have no ill will to him, of course.
You know, like

Speaker 2 it's an accident. But, you know, my family had to listen to the black box.

Speaker 2 And that took a year before they played that of going in and listening to legal fucking shit going over and over again and we'll adjourn in a month and we'll do some more and we'll adjourn a week and they they spent all their holiday pay and all their days off having to watch try to get justice for their son and then at the end they went ah pilot error uh you can't sue or anything like that there'll be no money paid out if you want to sue you got five days to get it done right um that what was your question again sorry

Speaker 2 okay so yeah so so there was another bloke another bloke actually uh driving it but the you know the the the um black box is just really my nephew going, oh, it's looking a bit dodgy.

Speaker 2 Pull up, bluff, bluff. That's all you really get.
You know, you get his final words. And that's pretty harrowing to have to listen to the final words of someone.

Speaker 2 You know, it's not like they're words of wisdom. They're words of fear right at the end there.

Speaker 1 Has it been,

Speaker 2 man, God,

Speaker 1 it's so heartbreaking. Has it been hard to like be a supportive brother after that? Like, has that been like...
a challenge or interesting or what does that kind of turn into?

Speaker 1 It's been not hard, but what is that like?

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 there's a field piece I once did on the Jim Joffrey show that shows me and my brother's relationship because he was a police officer and I did a ride along in his car and it was just a lot of me taking the piss out of my brother and he took it in pretty good jest.

Speaker 2 There's nothing to say when someone's child dies. You can just be there and you can just hug them and stuff.
The only thing I could do was get on a plane right away as soon as I knew.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? But in some strange ways, so so i've got two brothers and that those two haven't always gotten along they don't dislike they don't dislike each other just very different blood

Speaker 2 just different dudes man and uh it's sort of it's brought them closer together because when the hit the fan the whole family was there right away everyone was there right away you know uh i i remember going i i got there i got on the first plane I got there and then my brother was waiting out the front.

Speaker 2 My other brother was waiting at the front. He goes, I don't want to go in before you go in.
I want to go in with you. I just don't, I don't, he didn't know what to do.

Speaker 2 So I was terrible. And watching my granddad, you know, I'm glad my mother's dead for it, to be honest, that she didn't have to be around for it.

Speaker 2 You know, what's the matter of living a few more years to see your grandchild die? You know what I mean? So

Speaker 2 I know it's meant to be a fun podcast, but I was just saying,

Speaker 2 let's talk about Chris Lilly, man.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about fucking Chris Lilly. Or my comedy special, Tulane Special, coming out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll get right into it. But Max and Max Nugent, thank you so much for your service, sir.

Speaker 1 yeah and uh happy to be thinking of you today we'll get you know what we'll get a nice photo of if it's okay with you and your brother maybe we can put it in here on the desk or something would that be okay that would be wonderful thank you that would mean a lot to me that'd be cool it'd be nice to have him in here with that stash too dude you know

Speaker 2 he was uh yeah he was great he was he was strangely i remember thinking when he became when he went to duntroon uh which is like sandhurst or i don't know what you call it in what's the big military academy in america um west point west point west point so Duntrun is the equivalent of West Point.

Speaker 2 And he didn't get in the first time and he studied and he worked as a bartender or whatever. And then he got in the next time.
And I remember thinking like that he was just such a committed lad.

Speaker 2 And then he finished really high, top of his grade. And even though he was my nephew, even though I am over, you know, 20, I was 25 years older than the bloke.
Yeah. I looked up to him.
Oh.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I looked up to him. I thought he was kind of like a cool guy.

Speaker 2 And in the same way, like I went and did a gig the other day with the Dodgers, and I'm like, why am I gushing over some 25-year-old lads? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 But a fighter pilot who was my nephew, my blood was fucking doing that. Yeah.
And I looked up to him.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Sorry.
No, it's admirable.

Speaker 2 Well, I look up to him too.

Speaker 2 Thank you. You know?

Speaker 1 Thank you. No, I like getting to think.
It's important.

Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 It's important to think about people that mean something to you. And I believe that people can feel you thinking about them in the distance.
Like, I think that it's a real thing.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, I think it's important that we think about people like that, man. He fucking was a, dude, he was a fucking boss.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? I take some solace in that he was doing the job that he always wanted to do since he was a little kid.
Yeah, he lived his dream.

Speaker 2 They reckon the last time they saw him, he put his machine gun over his shoulder, his automatic shoulder, he jumped in the helicopter and he gave a thumbs up and a smile. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he was over the moon because the other person dropped out and Max was the first person with his hand up.

Speaker 2 And so, you know,

Speaker 2 it wasn't a senseless death. It wasn't a, you know, like a car accident, which I'm not going, you know, people have tragedies all their life.
At least there was, you know, it wasn't fentanyl. Yeah.

Speaker 2 At least it was something, you know,

Speaker 2 off being a fucking hero, bro. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, dude.
It is cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You know, that is exciting.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shout out Max, dude. Fucking, he's still out there in the air, probably fucking, dude.

Speaker 1 Well, look, that's another reason we shouldn't be tariffing these people. These guys are freaking putting their lives on the line.
They've done that for America before.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, we always show up for the wars. If you pop by, yeah, yeah, it's it.
Well, you know what? You kind of need us.

Speaker 2 America, I know you're saying, oh, who cares? A country of 23 million and another country of 3.5 million in New Zealand. So let's, you know, 26, 27 million people.

Speaker 2 We're in a country of 330 million, right? What do you care about that? Well, strategically, you kind of need us. We have nuclear submarines that, you know,

Speaker 2 involved with the Americans sitting up at the top of our country because if China fucking goes, bro.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to be there first.

Speaker 2 You need us. Fuck all, yeah.
You need us. Dude, that's going to be crazy.

Speaker 2 I would watch that.

Speaker 1 If the Chinese got to fight Australia, I would fucking tune in for that.

Speaker 2 Okay, so there we go. Yeah, boy, you're the big talks, huh?

Speaker 2 Oh, there's the black one at the top. You can tell.

Speaker 2 Currently under construction. I don't know how to make it.
I assume it's like Ikea or Lego or something like that. You'd be off to go.
Hopefully, it's not the same bloke who made the fucking helmets.

Speaker 2 But yeah, we're good to go.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Yeah, we get, yeah, I think it's, I don't know what they're doing.
I don't know what some of the strategies are. And you start to realize that, man, like

Speaker 1 probably throughout time, people have just been like so distant from the

Speaker 1 people who are running the show. You know, you all end up just being in the mud while they're the ones up there pouring the water into the dirt.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, we had our own Pearl Harbor. Up in Darwin, they bombed it.
The movie Australia. Gallipoli? No, Gallipoli was when we went and fought the Turks.
Oh, the Turks.

Speaker 2 I shouldn't say the Turks. What am I fucking?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess the Turks. The Young Turks and a Kasparian?

Speaker 2 But we fought the Turkish, and you would have seen the Mel Gibson movie.

Speaker 2 But we had an invasion on Australian land. In Darwin.
They bombed it. Similar time to what happened with Pearl Harbor, they went after us as well.

Speaker 1 The Jesuit Japanese movie.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and it hasn't really. It's in the movie Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman.
That's what it's about. But I don't know if you've seen that film, but

Speaker 2 we had our own thing going on as well. Fuck yeah.
More than 230 people were killed, civilians and military people, with hundreds more wounded.

Speaker 2 68 air raids.

Speaker 2 It was pretty amazing. And what happened

Speaker 1 after the attack happened?

Speaker 2 Well, we just carried on with World War II, didn't we?

Speaker 2 Yes, we did.

Speaker 2 We beat the fucking Germans, man. That's what happened.

Speaker 2 They had a few wins. We won the war, man.
That was it. We won the war.
That was it.

Speaker 2 It's funny. I'm looking at my special at the moment.
I wanted to call my special Hitler, right? I've got three Hitler jokes in it. That's the only reason I wanted to call Hitler.

Speaker 2 I'm not a fan of Hitler. I'm not pro-Hitler.
I've just got three. And I was thinking to myself, because everything's about algorithm, right? How's the algorithm? Who's so

Speaker 2 who gets searched more than Hitler? Yeah. Who gets to? I type his name into Netflix all the time if I'm bored and I want to watch a documentary.

Speaker 2 I don't put like a hard emoji next to it. I just, you know, and I thought that could get a few clicks if I call the thing Hitler.
Anyway, suffice to say, I had some pushback from Netflix.

Speaker 2 Netflix like, ah, I go, it won't be an aggressive font. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It'll be a soft font.

Speaker 1 Like Ariel or something.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I,

Speaker 2 so I, I wanted to call it Hitler. In the end, I landed on two limb policy, which I'm very happy with in the name.
But

Speaker 2 but I just got back all the rankings of, you know, where it is in the top 10.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's because I do the Hitler jokes, but out of all of Europe, I'm about to tour Europe right now. I'm about to do a full Euro tour.

Speaker 2 And I sell really well in Germany, but for some reason, Germany and Austria haven't gotten in the top 10. I don't know if there's some shit

Speaker 2 everywhere around. poland i'm crushing but hitler's their guy yeah yeah but they they're they're not proud of it no

Speaker 2 some of them are they're not they're not there i am two limb policy right there there we are to two limb policy now the two limb policy stands for after i did my sit i just how do you meet with the veterans after your show right uh i've no i do i meet with disabled people disabled you meet with disabled folks after your show yeah yeah yeah so after my shows i take photographs with disabled people but people start i did a sitcom many years ago that had disabled actors and then i sort of became a thing And I used to actually just sort of go get the security to go and sort of whisper to the wheelchair seats and go, here's a thing, come back afterwards and blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 Come on around, yeah. But people started finding out about that and people would write to me and go, hey, I'm coming to see you perform this week and I'm bringing my uncle.
He's disabled.

Speaker 2 Can we come back stage? And you can't write back how disabled.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? And you can't ask for a photo. You just got to go, because I can't have fucking dyslexics showing up.

Speaker 2 There needs to be, there needs to be, so as I say in the special, I always handle the classics, deaf, deaf, blind, wheelchair.

Speaker 2 And also, you can't just be like slightly deaf, slightly, got to have a dog or a cane. You got to be a beast, man.
If you're deaf, you got to have the voice.

Speaker 2 There's no better way to say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't like those pseudo-blind people. They're like,

Speaker 2 I'm colorblind or whatever. 90% blind.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm colorblind, but I still say the N-word. I'm like,

Speaker 2 what are you doing? You got to choose a path.

Speaker 2 So if you aren't one of the classics, I have a two-limb policy. So, you can't just be like a fat fuck who lost your foot to diabetes.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 That doesn't get you backstage because you had too much candy.

Speaker 1 That's crazy that people are faking that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 No, no one's faking it, but I just decided what was my parameters. Got it.
No one was faking. I never had anyone coming back.
I think I was letting the autistic back in.

Speaker 2 Some of them were over-autisming.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And I was like,

Speaker 2 I thought, I don't think this is your real self.

Speaker 2 I think you're playing this up for the cameras a little bit um so so but i do count autism as one limb so if you have a flammatomide arm and autism right beautiful you're in lazy eye or autism here we go what about missing an ear yeah oh yeah i'd do missing an ear all day yeah like mark chopper reed oh he has one he had one

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Speaker 2 Have you ever seen

Speaker 2 a look at him? Have you ever seen the movie Chopper?

Speaker 2 I haven't. This is my gift to you.
Go see the movie. That's Eric Banner's first dramatic role, right? Before that, Eric Banner, you know, the actor Eric Banner.

Speaker 2 Eric Banner was a stand-up comedian. Wow.
You'd seen him perform before? Yeah, yeah. He was famous in Australia.
Fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 He was doing, he did characters. He used to do impersonations and all that type of stuff.
He even had a show called the Eric Banner Show where he played. Now that's the real Chopper Reid, right?

Speaker 2 So the one up in the top corner there, the one next to him is the real guy. Chopper.
Now, if you look at him, he doesn't have ears. Oh, yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 Kind of drawn on. Right.
So what happened was he killed a whole lot of people. Then he went in prison.
Then there was a mark on him where they were like,

Speaker 2 I'm saying an arbitrary number, $50,000 to kill Mark Reed. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 And so he said, I need to be moved out of the cell block. I can't be in this cell block.
Everyone's trying to kill me. They're trying to kill me.
They're killing me.

Speaker 2 And the governor's like, I can't help you, Mark.

Speaker 1 Seats taken. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 1 Why did he take his ears off? So

Speaker 2 because he has to go into the hospital in the infirmary or they'll move him or something like that for his own safety. He got his ears cut off.

Speaker 2 He got another blake to do it with a razor and fucking peel it off. It's a banger of a movie.
Now, when you see the movie, right?

Speaker 2 So the movie is Eric Banner is unbelievably it's it's what made Eric Banner a star he was just a stand-up comic in Australia who'd been in a little movie called the castle which is a great comedy that's another podcast and then Eric Banner becomes chopper

Speaker 2 and does this thing and he gains tons of weight gets really fat for it and all that type of stuff and then his next movie I believe is the Hulk or Blackhawk down and then he's in fucking Troy

Speaker 2 with you know what I mean like it's kind of yeah so chopper blackhawk down another Australian movie then he's the fucking hulk and then he's then he's with bloody brad pitt oh and the good-looking people yeah they put you with the good looking people you're doing good yeah munich that's that's uh that's steven spielberg munich like it went for it went from zero to 100 very quick wow you know like and he was as i said just a stand-up comedian and he still lives in australia He still lives in Australia.

Speaker 2 Still lives in Australia. And I don't think he does stand-up anymore.
I've spoken to him online a couple of times as one Australian to another type of thing.

Speaker 2 I think he one time saw one of my specials and was like, I enjoyed it. That's the only chat I've had.
That's so cool, though. But this is the weird thing.
There's like people you like,

Speaker 2 you get to speak to fucking Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. You get to meet both sides of the whole world.
Plus, you get to interview whoever the fuck.

Speaker 2 When you get to a certain level of fame, there's people you can just sort of reach out to and go, hey, and then just see if something comes back.

Speaker 2 Like, so at the moment, I'm wearing my favorite entertainer in the world, and I wore this t-shirt because you're the only interview I've ever found of Chris Lilly, dude.

Speaker 1 Well, he, first of all, yeah, I remember asking you last time that we talked if you had met him

Speaker 1 and you hadn't yet.

Speaker 2 No, still haven't. I've only spoken to him online.
I've never heard his voice.

Speaker 2 He once came to one of my shows and he wrote, oh, I was just at your show, really funny, good stuff or whatever, but he didn't come backstage. Oh, he's kind of quiet.

Speaker 1 He's kind of like a,

Speaker 1 he's a little bit of like a missing person, kind of.

Speaker 2 He's an introvert, but he's a genius.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's magical.

Speaker 2 He's a genius. His TV shows, it was like, I wanted, I started showing his shows to my son when he was 11.

Speaker 1 He's a magic baby.

Speaker 2 And then just to see what he's, if he went, this is brilliant. I knew that my son actually knew comedy.

Speaker 1 And was going to be a good person.

Speaker 2 He knew what comedy was. And then, or if he went, oh, I don't really get it.
This is boring or whatever. What's a guy dressed?

Speaker 2 Because it's one guy playing all the different characters and that sort of stuff. And he got cancelled for the wrong reasons.
Summer Heights High.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it it was one of the best shows ever, first of all.

Speaker 2 Summer Heights High is unbelievable. Jamai Private School.
Now he's got a podcast of Mr. G, who's my favorite character.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Bad habit for drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's a naughty girl with a bad habit.

Speaker 2 Bad habit for drugs.

Speaker 2 Ecstasy.

Speaker 2 Ecstasy. Yeah, he's the fucking.

Speaker 2 He is. I'm going to.

Speaker 2 For Australia, right? Yeah. I'm going to say he's the greatest Australian entertainer we've ever had.
I'm including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe. I'm including fucking ACDC, man.

Speaker 2 Right? Right. And these are all those people I love.
Oh, yeah. I'm very proud to say from Australia.

Speaker 1 Volkanovsky also?

Speaker 2 Who is Volkanovsky?

Speaker 1 Alexander Volkanovsky? Is he New Zealand? He's Australian.

Speaker 2 Australian.

Speaker 2 I haven't lived there for 20 years. Am I about to be in trouble?

Speaker 1 He's a UFC guy, no.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, I don't follow the UFC. Oh, you don't.
That's good. No, no, no, I don't.
He's a class actor.

Speaker 2 No, no. Athletes.
Athletes is a different thing.

Speaker 2 I'm talking about entertainment. We've had some great athletes, man.

Speaker 1 Do you know that the Ben Simmons was kind of mid?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but three-time All-Star. Facts.
Three-time all-star. Never mind.

Speaker 1 Sorry about that.

Speaker 2 All right. Luke Longley played in the greatest team of all time, was the first Australian in the NBA.

Speaker 2 When the Dream team went to play fucking the rest of the world in Barcelona, there was only six players, international players, that were in the NBA.

Speaker 2 Six, and now there was like 60 or 70 in this last night. The Australians actually had like a proper team, but Luke Longley was just a big, tall cunt from fucking Fremantle Perth, brother.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 And then he's playing with Michael Jordan, and he was the only cunt out there with an accent that wasn't American or Eastern European. Yeah.
Right? Like, that was pretty.

Speaker 2 Now you've got like Josh Giddy, and you've got Andrew Bogart played before. You've got Daniel Dyson, just got the block record, the steel record.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Zarvita Zobonis, they got her. What's that guy's name? That big guy, Bogan, Durgan?

Speaker 1 Bogan, Dergo.

Speaker 1 I think he's saying Australia.

Speaker 2 Australia.

Speaker 2 They're all Australians.

Speaker 2 Our Olympic team is all NBA players.

Speaker 2 I don't understand why Britain hasn't gotten into basketball.

Speaker 2 How do I say this?

Speaker 2 They've got tall people. They've got black people.
They've got loads of them, right?

Speaker 2 It's a place that it rains every fucking day.

Speaker 2 It rains every day and you in a confined space and you haven't picked up basketball.

Speaker 2 They're just trying to be fucking difficult.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what they're trying to be. They're too fucking

Speaker 2 like, oh, we don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe they don't want a bunch of black guys just hanging out in the park or something. I don't know what they're.

Speaker 2 We don't need the park. Indoor basketball courts.
Just get it made. But with Travis Bizana, the number one major league pick last year in the draft is from Hornsby, which

Speaker 2 was born in the same hospital as me, bro.

Speaker 2 and this guy this guy fucking this is just a coincidence me and me and Chris Lilly I think the same age give or take a year we're the same age he went to the private school I believe up the road from me and I went to the public school up the road from me but we grew up in the same bit of the northern suburbs of Sydney do you remember seeing him as a kid no I never I've never met him but but it's just

Speaker 2 there's every chance that me and him were at the same party or something like that every fucking chance as kids that we're at the same party but he but I was so it's, it's weird when you get that, where you go, oh, wow, he grew up near me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I fucking, I can't, I can't champion Chris Lilly enough, man.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, I saw him in

Speaker 2 Byron Bay, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right outside of Sydney.

Speaker 2 By Byron Bay. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I saw him in Queensland. In Bondi Beach.

Speaker 2 Bondi Beach is in Sydney, but it's the

Speaker 2 most famous beach in Australia. Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, beautiful over there. Even the fucking men's is good looking.

Speaker 2 Were you doing the voice then? Was that?

Speaker 1 I don't know what I was doing. I just didn't want to see that.

Speaker 2 Even the men's is good looking. Even, yeah, it's all right.

Speaker 1 But I remember he came, we came, we met up for lunch.

Speaker 1 And I had some other people that I was like other, other comedians and stuff. And I was like, well, I, you know, he's kind of keeps to himself.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if I want to have a bunch of people here when he shows up. So, you know, once you guys take a walk or whatever.
So I walked outside with them.

Speaker 1 And then when I came back in, he was sitting just like facing the water, like out on this balcony.

Speaker 1 And then I just went and sat by him. And we just sat and talked.
He had on like this hat. I'll include some photos from it and stuff, but it was just awesome.

Speaker 1 Just like, yeah, it's almost like meeting with like a mythical creature kind of in a way.

Speaker 2 He's so special.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's as gifted a human being that has ever been.

Speaker 1 To be able to do all that. The bravest part is just to be able to take on all those characters at once, I think.
And then just put yourself out there that much.

Speaker 1 Because you're not saying that, hey, my character is going to be good.

Speaker 2 You're going to say, you're saying five of my characters Your brain leaves you, and you believe that he's a 16-year-old girl. Yeah.
Just after a little while, you go,

Speaker 2 now it's one thing for him to be a gay high school drama teacher, right? That's just a wig. He's still a guy.

Speaker 2 But then, when you watch Jamae, and you're like, and then, like, and also this whole thing that it's like, oh, he did blackface, or he did this, he did that, right?

Speaker 1 Look at him, and he looks like a little kawala.

Speaker 2 But, but then to do jonah from tonga and there's real genuine moments of heart there's there's times you can cry watching jonah that you feel for him so much and that you understand why he's a little shit it's not just a one-dimensional this kid's a shit stirring troublemaker yeah and i think that's what people last say oh he's taking the piss out of tongans and it's like yeah i guess he is but It's so much more than that.

Speaker 2 Even Tongans fucking loved it.

Speaker 1 Real Tongans loved it. The only people that don't like shit are people that don't own it, who want to write articles about it.

Speaker 2 My son went out for Halloween this year as Jonah from Tonga. Didn't do anything with the skin, just

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 shirt and the tie.

Speaker 1 Dude, I say go a nice polish. Don't do anything heavy.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Don't do anything super close to the equator.

Speaker 1 But I would go with like, you know, yeah, something a good bronzer, I think.

Speaker 2 Well, I don't think he was going to put that much effort in.

Speaker 2 I think laziness stopped him from being cancelled.

Speaker 1 He's like, stop looking at my dick, mom.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Oh, no.
Oh, no, you don't do that. What do you do that for? Stop looking at my dick, miss.
Oh, miss.

Speaker 2 Oh, miss.

Speaker 1 Oh, the best. And then when they start break dancing, and then that other kid comes in and he's a better break dancer.

Speaker 2 This is the, I would argue that Chris Lilly is a bit of a better break dancer than Ray Gunn, the Australian lady who entered the Olympics.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 And she put out a bet. Did you know about the bet she put out? She goes, oh, you think you're a better dancer than me?

Speaker 2 And she cracks her knuckles and goes, how about I think it was like five grand or something? You can find the clip where Ray Gunn puts it. There she is, old Ray Gunn.

Speaker 2 She's dressed like she's from from the local bolo which is lawn bowls and she just everyone else is wearing street crate

Speaker 2 then she does the kangaroo but if you can find the uh the clip of where she challenges people ray gun challenges uh people that it's it's um and i wasn't there like a ledge like a big like that's it there that's it there ten thousand dollar prize

Speaker 2 she put out ten thousand dollars prize if you can dance better than ray gun surely someone's i can't dance better than ray gun who won that shit

Speaker 2 But she was a middle-class woman, from a middle-class white woman who had studied hip-hop at university and had a degree in it. And then like Australia was just like, oh, the girl's got a degree.

Speaker 2 That must be the one, you know. I don't think our Olympic panel, right,

Speaker 2 are savvy with the hip-hop world and the dancing, right?

Speaker 2 It's not to say there aren't kids who are doing dancing in the street and stuff in Australia that can't do it. We're a very multicultural country, without a doubt.

Speaker 2 There are people who can fucking break dance in Australia. I've seen them do it.
Clients.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 the people who actually decided went, there's a lovely young girl, Rachel Gunn, we're going to call her Ray Gunn, bit of fun.

Speaker 2 Because I was in Bondi

Speaker 2 when the Olympics were on, and my phone lit up. Just lit up with all these people going, going,

Speaker 2 you've got to watch it.

Speaker 2 Are you watching the TV? And it was every American comic who knew me was just like,

Speaker 2 no, no, they were trying to take the piss, like, oh,

Speaker 2 your people are on the TV right now. Because that's the thing about, you know, being a white Australian, we're not inherently cool.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And so then when Ray Gun comes, that doesn't fucking help our cause. That was bad.
It's like watching 9/11, it was. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah. For a Muslim.
You know, when a Muslim watches 9-11 and they think, oh, this will make my life harder. That's what that was.

Speaker 1 Raygun was the Australian 9-11.

Speaker 2 Oh, Christ, God.

Speaker 2 But the balls on her, just to walk out of the Olympics and have a go. It was the only athlete that Snoop Dogg, who you remember how Snoop Dogg was just at the Olympics, just like

Speaker 2 wearing the equestrian outfit?

Speaker 1 Well, so was Leslie Jones. Didn't they just have her? Like they, sometimes they just started hiring more celebrities to just be there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just to be there and just show up at events. Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 2 I pitched a show to Australian TV that said, because the Olympics are coming out, and I don't know if this show will ever go ahead, but I've pitched it to Australian Tele.

Speaker 2 I said, how about you get me interviewing people, the athletes, the Australian athletes? I'm already here.

Speaker 2 You don't have to bring anyone out. I'll do like a little comedy show that's like after the proper show.

Speaker 2 After you watch all the highlights, we can do like a little comedy tonight show where we just do the Olympics and make it a two-run thing. So make it

Speaker 2 10 episodes out the door, fucking done. Hopefully I can do it, but I reckon that would be a bit of fun.
That'd be sick.

Speaker 1 The Olympics are going to be in Australia?

Speaker 2 No, here.

Speaker 1 Oh, in the US?

Speaker 2 LA. Oh, fuck.
Here, here. Here.

Speaker 2 You don't know that that the next olympics are here

Speaker 1 oh the traffic's gonna get worse oh it's gonna be bad oh it's gonna be bad you'll probably i wonder if they'll have one of those i mean and you've got the world cup oh yeah

Speaker 2 everything's going on do you know the olympics are the reason you have palm trees uh oh i used to do a podcast called i i i don't know about that right where i used to learn about a new thing and one of the things was the olympics and i was learning i do a podcast called at this moment with uh amos gill you're friends with amos you know amos he's australian comic very very good comic me me and and him do a podcast at this moment, so follow my podcast.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 palm trees.

Speaker 2 There was no palm trees in LA. They're not indigenous to LA.

Speaker 2 And then when you had your first Olympics, and I don't know what year, they planted all those ones along Beverly Hills just to spruce the place up a bit because visitors were coming.

Speaker 2 How about we plant some palm trees? They grow by themselves. They take very little fucking work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Right?

Speaker 2 Yeah. See, I'm not lying.
The internet's the internet's back. I like how you've got a guy who's always checking if I'm full of shit.
Every time he's, oh, no, no, he said it, right?

Speaker 2 And so, so they planted 25,000 to 40,000 and at each, and that was 1932, right? And at each game since then,

Speaker 2 when you've had the Olympics since then, you've planted more palm trees. So the reason that LA looks like LA, like what it's synonymous with, if you were to do a silhouette of LA,

Speaker 2 palm trees.

Speaker 1 it's kind of the only thing in the silhouette, really.

Speaker 2 Yeah, a couple of buildings that you undescriptive buildings,

Speaker 1 palm trees, Dodger Stadium, yeah, out the door, Beverly Hilton, yeah, yeah, the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think there's palm trees in their emblem, probably.

Speaker 2 There's palm trees everywhere. That one there, the wallpapers, all palm trees.

Speaker 1 But yeah, even if you're like, you see people's videos or movies, every time you see that palm trees, you see it. It might be Beverly Hotel.

Speaker 2 That's a lovely hotel.

Speaker 1 Beverly Hilton. That is a nice place, man.
That is nice over there.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I didn't know that at all, man. I love the fact that uh

Speaker 1 that australia has so many amazing people though man that's just one thing that i loved about it just

Speaker 2 and it's peaceful man it's safe dude that was one thing i realized you're in australia it is safe it's safe it is safe you're like oh this is safe and but you know i look i don't want your audience turning on me i'm the gun control guy you know what i mean and i understand i've lived in america long enough

Speaker 2 it's yeah australia is a very safe place but not without it's you know what they're having at the moment they're having a um you know how like like the turning your guns,

Speaker 2 they're having machete bins

Speaker 2 in Australia. Hang it up while they ride.
Machete bins. This is a brand new thing.
They're like where you having issues with the shettis?

Speaker 2 Disposable bins.

Speaker 1 Let me see it right here. An Australian state has asked citizens to surrender machetes at disposal bins ahead of a statewide ban on the weapons aimed at combating knife crime.

Speaker 1 Australia's state of Victoria on Thursday announced that more than 40 machete disposal bins will be available at police stations across the state to allow citizens to safely get rid of the weapons without a penalty before September 1st ban.

Speaker 2 Wow. They reckon people are just throwing food and stuff in there, though.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Just recyclables. I just, yeah, just throw in an arm just from your last murder.

Speaker 2 And you go, I just throw the machete in as well.

Speaker 1 Look at this find right here. Those who did not surrender their machetes during the amnesty period may face imprisonment of up to two years or a fine of more than 47,000 Australian.
Wow.

Speaker 2 37,1 American. Yeah, look, look, there is a little bit more nanny state in Australia.
We do have, there's more speed cameras. You notice it when you go back.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a little strict. They do a thing in Australia that I find with around long weekends.

Speaker 2 So Easter, for example,

Speaker 2 long weekend, they will have the death toll. on the TV.
Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, where they talk about how many car accidents and how many people have died during this long weekend from drink drink driving or from speeding or whatever.

Speaker 2 And they'll go by all the states, you know, five states.

Speaker 1 See who has the most?

Speaker 2 Five states. Yeah.

Speaker 2 See who's bloody Western Australia is doing terrible this year with

Speaker 2 five deaths on the death toll.

Speaker 2 We also have four deaths in Queensland. They're not doing well.
Oh, Victoria, one death. Well done.
Boo. Somebody yells boo from behind a camera.
But imagine doing that in America.

Speaker 2 Imagine like a Labor Day weekend. We're going to count up all the deaths that are happening on the highways and then we're going to report it and we're going to shame everyone.

Speaker 2 Also, long weekend, they do double the merits.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, for what? If you get in trouble.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so let's say you start with 12 points. You lose one point for a seatbelt, three points for speeding, you know, things like that.
Really speeding, you lose six points.

Speaker 2 I think America goes the other way upwards or whatever, right? You gain points.

Speaker 2 On long weekends, holiday weekends, it's double.

Speaker 2 So seatbelt two, speeding six, man.

Speaker 1 And if you get 12, what's out? You're out. You're out.

Speaker 2 Well, Australia has a bit of a double or nothing policy, which is like a thing we do because people go, oh, but I need me car for work. Yeah.
What if I can't do it for work?

Speaker 2 The Australian government goes like this. We'll give you one point.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 And you have to have that point for a year.

Speaker 2 And so, yeah, so you can either lose your license for three months.

Speaker 2 Or you can have one point for a year. And if you lose it, then you lose your license for a year.

Speaker 2 So you can't fucking roll through a stop sign. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I like that.

Speaker 1 But you put things on the Australian citizen. I think they take things seriously.

Speaker 1 A lot of Americans, there's a lot of Americans that take things seriously, but there's a lot of other fucking just fucktards who don't give a shit. You know?

Speaker 2 Oh, we have fucktards who don't give a shit. We're not short on them.
You know, the world's got them. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm being a little bit hard on Americans today.

Speaker 2 No, America, man, I always have to stipulate this, man. Fucking, what a wonderful place, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What opportunities and what things you can do. Just the basic fact that you have 330 million in such a small place, right?

Speaker 2 You know, when you're flying around doing gigs in Australia, you didn't get any fucking connecting flights, did you?

Speaker 2 You just went to those cities. Yeah, they all went through because we've got five major fucking cities, yeah, right? And then you drove out to the more rural places or whatever.

Speaker 2 But like in America, okay, I got to stop in Charlotte because it's a hub. And I'm always complaining about it, but then I think to myself, how wonderful that we can.

Speaker 2 I've been here for 15 or 16 years, and there's still towns I haven't played. There's still cities I still have to go to.
I've been to most of them over and over again, but there's so much space.

Speaker 2 And there's also, you can be a popular comedian in the Midwest. And that can be your territory where, you know, you have your fan base and you don't have to travel too far.

Speaker 2 Or you can be someone who's just really popular in San Francisco or whatever. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 2 it's that diverse. And people shit on America a lot because of your low rate of people who have passports, right?

Speaker 2 And that's a stat they always say in Australia and Britain: is like, you know, like 40% of Americans don't even have a passport,

Speaker 2 right? And I used to think, oh, that is a, I don't know the exact state stat. You can look at it right here.

Speaker 1 As of late 2024, approximately 51% of Americans have a valid passport. This reflects an increase from 46% in 2023 and 30% in 2008.

Speaker 1 Compare that to other states.

Speaker 2 Compare that to Australia or England.

Speaker 2 So we're saying 49% of you don't have passports.

Speaker 2 Right? That is high. That's a lot.
That is high. Like you're an international traveler.
You think nothing of having a passport. Of course you should have a passport, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, you guys is

Speaker 1 55%.

Speaker 2 55, 77,

Speaker 2 70% of UK because you're going to holiday in France. It's a fucking two-hour train ride.
Of course, you're going to do that. You need to have that.

Speaker 2 Go for lunch.

Speaker 2 That surprises me. Australia is only at 55.
We're only a little bit higher.

Speaker 1 Well, we've been catching up for some reason. I mean, we're 30% in 2008.
I wonder what's caused us to be able to do that.

Speaker 2 Right. So 30% is bad.
Yeah. 30%.
But I never understood it until I moved to America. And I'm like, well, you can do everything here.

Speaker 2 You literally have every weather condition that you want to enjoy. You want to go whitewater rafting.
You want to go to a winter wonderland and fucking go into a resort up there.

Speaker 2 You want to go tropical.

Speaker 2 I can take you down here yeah you want to volcano you want to see big you want to see big city thing you want to see go to Hawaii you want to see quicksand yeah yeah you've got every environment on earth is in the ecosystem of America yeah plus you got fucking Disneyland right so you got Epcot Center that has fake environments exactly you can see the whole world there you don't have to go anywhere just wander around there watch it's a small world after all that's that's how you can tell what all the different children look like

Speaker 2 You know, so, so, so, I get it because you don't really have to go anywhere.

Speaker 1 You kind of have everything that you need, but there is something beautiful about going. One thing that I remember when I first started traveling was the first people you see everywhere.

Speaker 1 And this is one thing I always admired: are Australians, dude.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Falls to the wall.

Speaker 1 They wake up. They go.
They don't sleep. They're nocturnal.
They're day terminal. They're fucking lunch terminal.
And it's even weird.

Speaker 2 You'll find us in places like Whistler. Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 2 You'll be up in whistler and g'day mate i'm your skiing strapper for the day like can't we get a fucking canadian on this you brought me a bloke from the desert you know what i mean even black australians you hear them you know like g'day mate and it's like a black guy like wow that's crazy well when i was young you didn't okay so when i was young i grew up in a school that had a lot of like um asian kids in it i think it was 50 60 asian and stuff like that and

Speaker 2 there wasn't many black people in australia then we had the white australia policy uh and i i'm gonna right up up until the I want to say the 1950s it might have been later right where there was whites only in Australia it was we were you you can immigrate to Australia but it was for white people and so the most darkers you got were Italians and Greeks.

Speaker 2 And the derogatory term for them was wog, and

Speaker 2 that was the most foreign people. But that shows how bigotry can go out the window because now they're the most assimilated people in Australia and Italians and Greeks.

Speaker 2 Melbourne has the second highest Greek population of any city in the world next to Athens. Wow.
And that's including other Greek cities. Wow.
Right. And so

Speaker 2 1958, there you go. So they abolished the non-white immigrant.
It was called the White Australia policy, right? It wasn't, I'm not just making it like

Speaker 2 they didn't have a, yeah. So in 1958, they got rid of that.
And now we have, obviously, we have a lot of black people and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 But when I left Australia, and I left Australia in in 2001 and then when i came back just to you know by about 2010 just you know on holiday or seeing the family or whatever

Speaker 2 to see all so the italians and greeks were all all westernized australian by then with the accent then the asians came in and then they oh yeah they now you see us asian australian cricket players and they've all got the voice you know you ever seen like a chinese fella who fucking talks like this

Speaker 2 right and it's like it takes it just it just takes time so so they were the problem and then now now they're like and these fucking blokes coming in and then and then so so it just takes time and an accent to assimilate that's what you need yeah even now you see like a lot of like there's a lot more black country music fans and you see like a lot more like black kind of redneck or like hunting type of guys you're like oh it just takes some time exactly it took and it's kind of good because then they can't use those things to separate people anymore anyway it took hootie to make the first push right Hootie, I don't know who what Hootie's real name is, but Hootie.

Speaker 2 Darius. Darius, that's right.

Speaker 1 But his last name was Rucker, which kind of has like kind of a country tone to it. So, yeah, dude, shout out Darius Rucker.
He does not get enough credit.

Speaker 2 Rosa Parks are country music, man. Oh, like, like, like, you think about like,

Speaker 2 and he left a popular band to go, I want to do country music in Nashville, right? Because he could still be touring right now with the Blowfish, going, oh, I want to be with you.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right.
And

Speaker 2 still

Speaker 2 be doing just fine.

Speaker 1 God, man, he's, yeah, that guy's done a great job.

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Speaker 2 But I always think that like when you say black Australians and stuff like that, so the sports that we're into, Australian rules football.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, AFL, man, Brisbane Lions.

Speaker 2 afl yeah fremantle bro when black people start playing that sport it's a wrap it's a wrap and they're hiding it from them right now it's a wrap because we've got like some sudanese refugees that have started playing who are excelling really it's a game about jumping really fucking like jumping running yeah yeah it's and it's it's it's a wrap right but i believe all sports

Speaker 1 Eventually are a wrap.

Speaker 2 I think now, so when I was growing up in Australia, I wore a Michael Jordan jersey like every other boy in the 90s, right? Because the best. The best.
I never got to see him play one live game.

Speaker 2 There would be a wide world of sports, which show little clips of what happened in American sports. We would get the Super Bowl, would be shown on our TV.

Speaker 2 No baseball, no, no basketball would get shown.

Speaker 1 Or like a Stingray kills a boy or something as well would be like one of the highlights for

Speaker 2 sports.

Speaker 2 But we had our rugby and we had our cricket and we had our AFL and all the, you know, great sports.

Speaker 2 but now they've got an app called KO where you can watch all the NBA all the baseball all the Premier League for fucking 10 bucks or 15 bucks you know what I mean and it's like it's cheaper to watch those sports in Australia now than it is now I believe that as I said you had one NBA player back in the day Luke Longley now we've got like maybe 15 Australian NBA players we got we got uh uh now we got it was a guy in the Super Bowl I think about four or five punters in the NFL.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, they're Australia because they learned from AFL to kick so long. And now they've just got at Australian universities, we're just training punters.

Speaker 2 We're just like, all right, this is our thing. Look at this.
So here we go.

Speaker 1 Let's get a gandle out of him. There's Michael Dixon right there for the Seahawks, current Australian punters.
Lou Headley down there in New Orleans. Mitch Wishnowski.
Shout out, Mitch Wish.

Speaker 2 So we got six current, six current, and I believe there's a bloke who actually

Speaker 2 played in NFL. awesome guy.
He looks awesome. Yeah, yeah.
And the thing is, because punters never have to learn to tackle it.

Speaker 1 So, look at this fucking lad right there.

Speaker 2 Every now and again. Lou Hedley, dude.

Speaker 1 Order me a fucking Lou Hedley jersey. That's him.

Speaker 2 Every now and again, there'll be a punt. There'll be a fucking balls over there.
There'll be a punt, and there'll be someone return, get past all the defense.

Speaker 2 You know, they do that full run back, the whole thing. Oh, yeah.
And the Australian blokes always tackle them because they grew up playing rugby and all that.

Speaker 2 And so every time they're just like, oh, all there is left is the punter. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Have you seen that? Right? Like that. It's always some Australian bloke going, yeah, I can fucking tackle.

Speaker 2 This is what we do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm an adult male.

Speaker 2 I do this without a helmet, mate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lou Headley, dude. He'll kick your freaking arms off your body.
That guy, wow.

Speaker 2 Dude, that's class, bro. That's such a great call.

Speaker 1 It's like everybody should have that Australian punter. I think I love having more.
I want more Mexican guys in the NBA, dude. And I mean real Mexican guys.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 5-4, one guy. Jaime, what's his name for the heat? He's the only one that I have.

Speaker 2 I've forgotten his bloody name.

Speaker 2 They're not renowned for being tall, the Mexicans.

Speaker 1 No, that's why they got the one at UCLA, Jaime, Jakas.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Jake is. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he plays for the Heat.

Speaker 1 He plays for the Heat now.

Speaker 2 And he's class, but he's not a all-star. You know what I mean? I always think with like, also, with sports, it just takes one person to open the door up for other kids to go, oh, yeah,

Speaker 2 maybe I can, you know, we have Australians in the Premier League and stuff like that. You know, for a very small country, I'll tell you what country kicks fucking ass for its size.

Speaker 2 Iceland.

Speaker 2 Really? Iceland's got 270,000 people. I might be out by 10,000 or something.
And they made it to the Soccer World Cup. Oh, my God.
I did not realise that. Statistically, they would only have maybe.

Speaker 2 20,000 eligible men of age for the right age and the right whatever. And they made it to the World Cup.

Speaker 1 And and they fucking got through the first round class they got they got to the round of 16 unbelievable let's bring up that Iceland team I didn't want to get a ganner I feel like it's like I think Christian McCaffrey's from Iceland

Speaker 1 dude I just went to Qatar not long ago I know you're going to the middle east coming up I went to Qatar and this is it one thing that was interesting there was the soccer stadiums from when they held the world cup are all still there because they didn't they don't really have that much regular no use of them so you have these huge stadiums sitting everywhere let's get a look at that team.

Speaker 1 That's amazing, brother.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're all just black.
Like, they don't even have a McDonald's in Iceland. Oh, well, that's probably why they're all

Speaker 2 doing good.

Speaker 1 Everybody is just all fucking

Speaker 2 geeked out. Their arteries aren't clogged up.

Speaker 1 Is that Jason Ellis on the bottom right there?

Speaker 2 Let me get a ganger at that pic there.

Speaker 1 Oh, these lads are, dude, look how Icelandish that dude is. The third dude, that freaking Ice Indian.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm the Ice Indian.

Speaker 1 That guy's fucking ready, brother.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 I bet it would be cool to be Icelandic.

Speaker 2 Have you been there?

Speaker 1 No, I almost went to Reykjavik, but

Speaker 1 it was Gay Pride weekend. We were going to go, and I was like, there's nothing.

Speaker 2 Retrovik, Reykjavik is it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just didn't want to be at there when it was just everything was very kind of overly gay.

Speaker 2 I was there when there was no

Speaker 2 gay shit. Sun.

Speaker 2 There was no moon.

Speaker 2 There was no darkness.

Speaker 2 It was sunny 24 hours a day. Is it fun? They spanned the fuck out of me.
They only get that for three months and the rest of it. It was nice.
But you're worried about the gainers?

Speaker 2 You're worried about.

Speaker 1 I just didn't want it to be, you know, at the hotel. Every moment, it's so much gainers.
And I guess it's probably what gay people think of.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they have to walk into our hotels. That's true.
And then they go, I can't be going here with all the fucking hetros.

Speaker 1 Oh, I bet they feel that way. Like, they don't want to go to Sturgis, probably some of them, you know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think that's

Speaker 2 a whole parade. It was just a few.
Look, and also, okay, so you know, like in Iceland.

Speaker 1 I just didn't want guys, like I'm at breakfast and some guys keep trying to buy me like fucking

Speaker 1 like those,

Speaker 1 what are those eggs with the little ham on it.

Speaker 2 That's a cock you're talking about. No,

Speaker 2 yeah, the eggs are at the base, and then there's like a ham.

Speaker 2 There's like a thing you didn't want one of them bought for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just didn't want somebody sitting over a cock, you know.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, okay, so not that they would, but if some of those are dressed icelands, if you are to be gay, I reckon Iceland's the place to do it because you know they have an app on the phone.

Speaker 2 So the population is so small that they have to have an app on the phone.

Speaker 2 So if you meet a girl in a bar, you both put your names in the app or your license into the app or whatever, and it'll tell you how closely related you are because everyone's fucking related. Wow.

Speaker 1 Right? Then we got to get over there, dude.

Speaker 2 So, so, so, you go over there.

Speaker 2 We have a shot. So, like, third cousin's all right, I guess.
Second cousin, no good. Warning.

Speaker 2 First cousin, how good are you at keeping a secret? Yeah, right?

Speaker 1 40%, 70%.

Speaker 2 But, but that's for the hetros. If you're gay, who gives a fuck if you fuck your cousin?

Speaker 2 A baby's not going to be made, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 But you would still, it would make.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, you'd prefer not. Yeah.
I don't want the gay people kicking off on me like I'm saying they're all fucking their siblings.

Speaker 2 If you can avoid it. If you can avoid it, I say do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dude. But if it's unavoidable and it's cold and the sun hasn't been out for six fucking months, who am I to judge?

Speaker 1 And if you write not my cousin on the guy's back or whatever.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Exactly.
You can, you can, like, like, there would be nothing worse than ejaculating and rolling over, going, so how's your mum? She's still all right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How's Aunt Nan?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 How's Aunt Bjork?

Speaker 1 Dude, I got to go over there. You went?

Speaker 2 I went. And I'm going to Saudi Arabia coming up.
And I find

Speaker 2 you just talked about guitar. I'm going to sing Saudi Arabia.
I've been given a little bit of grief online. Nothing too much.

Speaker 1 About going to Saudi Arabia?

Speaker 2 Yeah, a few people have gotten into the comics who are going, and the list is big.

Speaker 2 It's Louis C.K. Me, Bill Burr,

Speaker 2 Fluffy's going, Whitney Cummings.

Speaker 1 There's a big festival going out in New York.

Speaker 2 It's called the Riyadh Comedy Festival. And here, here we go.
Andrews into Andrew Schultz, Ezen Sari, Bill Burr, Jim Jeffries, Jimmy Carr, Joe Coy, Kevin Hart. You know, Sam,

Speaker 2 we got people.

Speaker 1 Great lineup, too. Jessica Curson, Namesh Patel.
Wow.

Speaker 2 It's as good a line line up I've seen at any comedy festival.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. Now,

Speaker 2 people have been going, oh, how dare you go over there after, oh, they killed a reporter. That was the big one.
There's been a reporter who they killed.

Speaker 2 You don't think our government's fucking bumped people?

Speaker 2 I think Jeffrey Epstein was fucking bumped off.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm sure that was

Speaker 2 every place.

Speaker 1 We've damaged a lot of places.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 One reporter was killed by the government. Unfortunate, but not a fucking hill that I'm going to die on.
It's not my, you know, and I don't know the ins and outs of their government.

Speaker 2 So then they get into the live golf, right? All the golfers go after Saudi Arabia for, you know, a king's ransom amount of money.

Speaker 2 And everyone's like, how dare they after how they treat their people and all this type of stuff? And the people are like, all right. Then you've got Cristiano Ronaldo.

Speaker 2 goes over and plays there is being paid an ex he gets an extra hundred 200 grand every time he kicks a goal as a bonus 50 grand for an assist he has like an spf fee i heard even just putting it on before the games they pay him extra to do that so

Speaker 2 so he's living there uh he's engaged to his missus but they've never gotten married right he's the first person in saudi arabia who's allowed to live with a woman who he's not married to they've made they've gone an exception they've gone all right all right for ronaldo okay he can do this right so there are strong rules over there so you can be angry at how they treat their people how they treat the reporter you can be angry at the golfers you can be angry at the things, you can, but what better

Speaker 2 than

Speaker 2 basically we are freedom of speech machines being sent over there? What better? They haven't asked, they have not at one stage asked to see our material.

Speaker 2 They haven't asked, and I've been asked in some countries in Asia, I've been asked for transcripts of what I'm going to say. Oh, yeah.
Right? They haven't asked what we're going to do.

Speaker 2 And let's be fair, they have picked some fucking edgy-ass comedians.

Speaker 1 Some seriously edgy ones. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Some of the greats. They've picked some edgy comedians.

Speaker 2 Very smart.

Speaker 2 If you don't agree, Will Moore.

Speaker 1 Schultz.

Speaker 2 If you don't agree with how they run their place, isn't this a step in the right direction?

Speaker 1 Right. 100%.
Bringing free speech over.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Isn't this a sign that they're trying to do something different with themselves? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like this would have been the highest ranks of government would have gone, all right, we're bringing out 30 fucking comedians who are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want, who's up for this.

Speaker 2 This is a positive thing. I agree.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing thing that I don't understand too. It's like to be, we, to live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom of speech, right? Yeah.
And to say things we want.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then to judge other places, just like I get judging them, but their rules are there. That's what makes their culture, right?

Speaker 1 And it's like, yes, we may not agree with some of them and some of them we may deem as wrong and some of them may be morally wrong or religiously wrong.

Speaker 1 But for that country, that's what's going on, right? Now, some of them I get. It's like, you know, that's wrong.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up but some things sometimes you're just attacking kind of the culture of a place right so i i some it's like and and and us isolating them teaches us nothing and teaches them nothing nothing yeah it also makes us look like this loud know-it-all all the time that's the thing i don't like you know go live there for a few years see how it is you know i mean of course well i'm not going to live there yeah no i put that out there

Speaker 2 i'm happy here jim jeffries is coming over he's going to be staying yeah i didn't i didn't sober up for that reason.

Speaker 1 Dude, I will say this, man. When I was in Qatar, they had everything was organized.
There's nothing out of place. It's almost like

Speaker 1 there's a ton of respect everywhere. Like, I mean, that's just what you see in public, right? Like, I mean, things are clean.
Like, you wouldn't, like,

Speaker 2 people say the World Cup was wonderful. I was, I was anti-I was there because I've seen, I saw the World Cup in Germany in 2006, and I saw the Women's World Cup in Australia when that happened.

Speaker 2 I saw the Matildas the Australian women's team play and

Speaker 2 and I thought why you know why should we go to this little country that doesn't really have a soccer history or whatever like that but everyone reckons the fucking the crowds were super chill they reckon it was piss easy to get beer they actually had beer taps out the front of the stadium where you

Speaker 2 yeah because they didn't want one of the their people actually touching it and blah blah blah blah blah and so so i look at look at him there look at the mullet i thought you were just you had a dirty headdress on you.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I thought that one blank on the left hasn't washed his cloth there.

Speaker 1 That's a thing. They called it a thobe over there.
They treated us so great. I mean, obviously we were there to like do a show and stuff, but

Speaker 1 it was just great to get to see the culture and be a part of the culture. A ton of like respect.

Speaker 1 And, you know, they don't, like a lot of them don't drink or they don't do it. Like it's not as public here.
There's not pubs and bars and shit. I didn't notice anyway where people are just drunk.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's definitely different. I thought it was really unique.
You know, I thought it was unique.

Speaker 2 I was talking to my friend the other day about this. Okay, so I,

Speaker 2 you've gigged in the UK. Yep.
Right. How good is a pub? Good in the UK? Oh, it's good.
It's good. It's like a living room.

Speaker 1 Even in Ireland, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Ireland, even better. Is that part of the UK? Yeah.
Well, it's not. No, Northern Ireland is part of the UK.

Speaker 2 Ireland is the Republic of Ireland is its own place, but they have reciprocal passports. You can live in either country.
So, you know, it's that part of the world, right?

Speaker 2 And the pub is just so good. And I feel like America is missing that.
Sometimes they try to recreate an English pub, but I feel like what they're missing is you've got two levels of bar in America.

Speaker 2 You've got fancy ass fucking bar, like really like everything's shiny and clean lines and unique and the glass back with all the bottles and all that type of stuff, almost a nightclub chic.

Speaker 2 And you have the dive bar that is on bar rescue where there seems to be fucking gaffer tape holding everything together and it just sort of smells and the carpet's sticky.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some woman's living in the ice machine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you're like, you're like, you're like, can I have a bloody Mary? And they're like, yeah. And then they read a book.

Speaker 1 Or then they just punch a woman and they just bring her over.

Speaker 2 Like, here she is. That was kind of a dumb joke.

Speaker 1 My brain's tired. Thank you for letting me know.

Speaker 2 Bit of fun, brother. A bit of fun.
Anyway, so

Speaker 2 I think America's missing that middle bar, which is nice and everything's clean, but I can still walk in in a t-shirt and not feel like I'm, you know, and I don't have to line up and I don't have to know a guy.

Speaker 2 And it's just, they need to have more homely bars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're missing that neighborhood bar that's more popular in every place. Like, one thing in the UK, they have all those, like, the white star.

Speaker 1 What's that bar? They have all in almost every town there. I think it's called a red, I don't know, White Lion, maybe.

Speaker 2 Which town is this?

Speaker 1 The White Star Tavern is an award-winning pub, restaurant, hotel in Southampton. Southampton.
No, it's this place is everywhere.

Speaker 2 They have chain ones, but you don't even know that they're a chain in Britain.

Speaker 1 No, they don't look chain at all. And they're just kind of like in every town they have them.

Speaker 2 Like on high.

Speaker 2 There's a chain called Weatherspoons, which is a company that owns a ton of bars across Britain. There we go.
JD Weatherspoons.

Speaker 1 One of the most well-known examples of JD Weathers is simply Spoons, they call it. Well.

Speaker 2 I've performed in the corner of a few spoons and you don't. Have you? Oh, yeah, man.
Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Dude, I performed in this one place in South Dakota. They had a parrot in the bar.
It was like part of a thing, right?

Speaker 1 And every now and then, sometimes it could say some words, and sometimes it would repeat a bit of your punchline or something. Oh, it actually, like, go,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 1 Or something, you know?

Speaker 2 I'll bleep that out, yeah, but. That's a bit of fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll leave it in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's your podcast, man.

Speaker 2 I didn't say it. You said it.

Speaker 2 If I'm in trouble for sitting next to you saying it, then the world's gone too far, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that's gay.

Speaker 2 That's like sort of my new special, man. I want to talk about it just quickly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to talk about the two-limb policy, man.

Speaker 1 And I'm glad that you had to set that in stone because it's just amazing the levels of people will go around, you know, to try and cheat the system.

Speaker 2 Well, I do a meet and greet. They normally just join the meet and greet.

Speaker 1 You do it for free, I know, too, which I think is pretty amazing.

Speaker 2 Well, okay, so for the disabled people, it's for free.

Speaker 2 I do a meet and greet with a ticket with the people in the front row. Oh, that's fair.
You know, but like 50 people. Yeah.
And then the disabled people are included in that.

Speaker 2 And the disabled people, God bless them, they always wait till the end of the meet and greet. I'm like, you come first, don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 I know you're seated the whole time, and the rest of them are saying,

Speaker 2 but I always get off stage.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 I used to drink before I went straight, and the first thing I do is pop an edible because it helps me sleep, and it's also my way of chilling out.

Speaker 2 I don't go out to bars, I don't do anything, I'm not bloody, you know, I'm happily married man, I'm not out chasing tail, I'm just fucking, I just chill into my, and then I do the meet and greet.

Speaker 2 And then I talk to everyone a few minutes as I meet them and chat to them about whatever they want to chat to me about. But you know, you're too high

Speaker 2 when someone's paid $80 to meet you and they stop the conversation. Oh, and they go, all right, Jim, it was great meeting you.
And you're like this, oh, God.

Speaker 2 I just bored the shit out of these people. And they just paid to meet me and they found me boring.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're like, hey, Jim, it's getting lady.

Speaker 1 You got something in the oven, Jim.

Speaker 2 We got a sitter.

Speaker 2 Jim's like, wait, wait, yeah, I was just enjoying the show. Oh, come back next time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. I think it's congratulations.
How many specials do you have?

Speaker 2 That's special number 10, but it's special number six on Netflix. I think I actually have the record for Netflix.
I know.

Speaker 1 I think you have the record total for anybody. Yeah, but there's 10 specials.

Speaker 2 Were there people? I think Carlin had 11 or something like that, but I have

Speaker 2 the six is the hellbounds just a thing. So yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, ten.
Yeah, ten. Yeah.
Oh, no, hang on, hang on. We haven't got the new one.
Oh, yeah. Two limb policy.

Speaker 2 Two limb policy's got to go down there. Well, Contraband was just a DVD.
Swear to God was HBO. Alcoholoca was Showtime.
Then there was Epics. And then Bear Down

Speaker 2 is to Tulimb Policy, which is on there. It's all Netflix.
And I think Chappelle has like five Netflixes or something like that. But I was just lucky.
I was.

Speaker 2 Okay, so there was five specials came out on the first ever Netflix. Netflix didn't do specials.
Netflix, and just like Netflix was still more of a, this is about 12, 13 years ago.

Speaker 2 And they brought it, they had billboards up. Netflix is a joke.
They started, this is before the festival, and they were getting into the comedy special market. And they selected five comedians.

Speaker 2 And I remember people like actually going, oh, you were on HBO and now you're on Netflix. Someone's career is going well.

Speaker 2 Like really. Yeah, somebody from Fett, little guy from Family Guy or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 little patronizing facts, right? Anyway, so the five comics they had were me, Bill Burr, Chelsea Hanley, and Chelsea Peretti. Wow.
Right? So it's a good lineup, right? Really good lineup of comics.

Speaker 2 And they were just, if these specials go well, we will continue. If they don't go well, we gave it a go.
That was Netflix, the feeling I got from them.

Speaker 2 And the fifth comic, they were going to do a press conference and everything, and I was all excited was Bill Cosby. Now, no one's ever seen that special.
That special has never.

Speaker 1 Really, but he did record it.

Speaker 2 He recorded one for Netflix. It's never been seen.

Speaker 2 Have you seen it no you what you think netflix give me a special password that no one else gets i still pay for my fucking netflix like everyone else man that's a good point i freaking have a netflix poster and i freaking pay for netflix too yeah i got six netflix specials and i have to log in like everyone else to watch me i have fucking two accounts one here and one nashville they tell me off when i'm in an airbnb they go you've logged into too many devices

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 That's one of the things I do do when I'm in an Airbnb and someone else has already logged into Netflix. It's someone else's account that I've never met.
As I leave the house, I put my special on.

Speaker 2 I think, one more rating.

Speaker 2 Get one more. That's it.
Here we go.

Speaker 2 So it's 2014.

Speaker 1 Bill Cosby 77 is an unreleased 2014 stand-up comedy film, film before a live audience at San Francisco Jazz Center in California, around 60 minutes in duration.

Speaker 1 Cosby pontificating on matters of children, romance, and matrimony.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I, you know, when he came out of prison, the first thing he did, because I was at Flappers like that night just trying stuff out.
And then I went to the improv like a couple of days later.

Speaker 2 And he rang every comedy club, was the first thing, because he would have rung one of his managers and they'd like, hey, we don't rep you anymore, dude.

Speaker 2 And then he rang up the comedy clubs as he was out of prison. His first impulse was, I want to do stand-up.

Speaker 1 Get back on stage.

Speaker 2 And there's a bit of me that wants to see that. Don't you? Like, like, as terrible a man as he is, and you know, but

Speaker 2 I want to hear how he fashioned a shiv out of in prison. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to hear how, like, if he was still doing, I guess if he was still doing rapes in prison or whatever.

Speaker 1 Or what, like, is there a group in prison if you're a raper? Like a scene, you know what I'm saying? Or like a group of, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like, cause who do you, because once you get into, things get very tribal in there. Yeah.
So, like, do you associate with people that kind of have similar crimes?

Speaker 2 I think if everyone just, he was, he was one of these people who was almost blind. He's only got like 10% of, he's got cataracts on his eyes.
I think they just left him alone.

Speaker 1 And he's probably, probably people with starstruck you know you're all you're all criminals in there you know what i mean like dude a friend of mine uh did cocaine with oj simpson once right in new york city and as you do yeah and they said uh that nobody had a car key on him they were doing bumps of cocaine and oj had a knife on him that he pulled out and used it to give everybody cocaine and i know my friend's not lying about and this is obviously after the murders this isn't like that the night the night before yeah

Speaker 1 but just imagine that Like imagine being, because I mean, he had that book, If I Did It, like, imagine us being that psychotic that you're going to live right there on that line of just

Speaker 1 grotesqueness really for people.

Speaker 2 It's funny because

Speaker 2 drugs are the thing, aren't they? Drugs are the thing that

Speaker 2 if you do them in front of people,

Speaker 2 that's a real sign of trust.

Speaker 2 That I'm letting you into my circle, that you're going to watch me do this thing, that I could get in trouble. You know,

Speaker 2 there was a comic I know, and I won't get, you know, because he doesn't want to be known about this at all and his career is going fine and all that type of stuff.

Speaker 2 But he was doing it, you know, and then one of his mates sent out a photo of him doing it to the paper. And then it was just like, you know, like, fuck you, dude.
Like, fuck you.

Speaker 2 You know, I've, I've...

Speaker 2 Back in the day, 20 years ago, I've done drugs with famous people in the room and I'm a blabber mouth.

Speaker 2 I'll fucking tell any story I can to get laughs, but never I've never slipped up on that I've never I feel that's an intensely private thing yeah I think it would be awful except for OG Simpson where of course I would fucking

Speaker 2 tell that if it's a murderer yeah you can talk about the murderer who's y'all's best murderer over there from Australia you think well chopper's not bad you know what was good about chopper is they made a movie about him the movie was massive right he's dead now and then as he was dying he went on 60 minutes and talked about more murders that he did after the movie no wow he basically became a stand-up comic afterwards.

Speaker 2 After the movie came out, and he went and did a racon tour, uh, night with chopper, where he'd tell his stories.

Speaker 2 And anyway, so then I stabbed the little cunt and fucking, you know, he did all that type of stuff. And a bloke came up to him afterwards, who was like some guy from a gang that he had a fight.

Speaker 2 And he came up with a book to the book sign. He went, G'day, chop, chop.
He goes, oh, it's been a while, mate. We used to be adversaries.
Didn't he think he was all water under the bridge?

Speaker 2 Then he killed that cunt.

Speaker 2 Really? He was already, yeah, he was already very, and then so he's dying. He's off the clock.

Speaker 2 He's dying of cancer, like a few weeks left. And so he just goes on 60 minutes and talks about his other murders.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 2 Fucking.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 2 And everyone could do an impersonation of him.

Speaker 2 Everyone does the impersonation of Eric Banner's impersonation, rather, you know, it's two impersonations removed. Chopper.
But do yourself a favor, man. Watch the movie Chopper.

Speaker 2 It's a fucking banger of a movie.

Speaker 2 There's one scene where he shoots a guy because he's like where's the drug money where's the drug money where's the drug money where is it where there's no money there's no money there's no money there's no money oh show me the fucking money i want to see the fucking money i want to see the fucking money

Speaker 1 like that right and then the guy's just like this and then he like feels bad for him and he drives him to the fucking emergency room himself oh wow right yeah it's tough to do it's hard to drive when somebody's when when there's that energy that somebody's bleeding in the car is it i find yeah i've had friends bleeding and you're trying to get there and they're kind of pissed you're like i thought look i'm taking you you know and it's like but it wasn't a gun wound it was someone cut themselves or something yeah it was a knife wound but yeah still like i think there's that nerve that there's that scary energy or a friend i had a friend who went into labor and had to get them to the hospital it's like fuck uh the the the the birth going in for the birth that is

Speaker 2 would you do it again oh i can't i've had a vasectomy you you could do it i i could i could reverse the well they don't reverse the vasectomies anymore uh you know what they do they just put a needle in the intesticle and and they extract the semen.

Speaker 1 No, and just give it

Speaker 2 and then just give it to your wife.

Speaker 2 So if

Speaker 2 I ever wanted to have another one, I don't know, would that be like some old-ass cum that's just sitting around your belly? But oh, here we go. Ivan Millat.
Here we go. So he's the backpacker murder.

Speaker 2 Ivan,

Speaker 2 the movie Wolf Creek, you've seen Wolf Creek?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, scary dude.

Speaker 2 That's based on Ivan Millat. Now, Ivan Millat was this guy, the British backpackers, if they broke down, he went and helped them out with their trucks and then they were never fucking seen again.

Speaker 2 And they don't know.

Speaker 2 every now and again they would find a body i think he's dead he's yeah he's dead um i every now and again they'd find a body and they'd go they'd go uh and ivan would go yeah that one's me as well

Speaker 2 got me did you ever meet any of these guys okay okay no i never met any of them but there was i i have a story about there's one called the claremont killer

Speaker 2 Claremont Killer was when I was in university in Perth and I was getting into, I'd done stand up when I was 17 and then stopped doing it. And then when I was 20, I took it back up again.

Speaker 2 I'd done like four open mics, and then I thought, I'll give it another go at it because I had out of the three or four open mics I had, I had a couple of bad experiences, and it was scared. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So the Claremont killer, this bloke here,

Speaker 2 Bradley Robert Edwards. Yeah, so man convicted of murder, the crimes happen.
That's when I was at university, right? These are the years when I was at university.

Speaker 2 So the place was now Claremont was a very posh area in Perth and it was a big nightlife place and all the girls allegedly went to get a taxi or whatever.

Speaker 2 And so all the taxi drivers were being checked for DNA and I told myself,

Speaker 2 you know, when you're starting in comedy, what do you do to get more stage time? You run your own gig. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We've all done it.

Speaker 2 You set up a gig in a pub, I'll MC, invite all your friends, invite some other open micers that you've become mates with, invite all your friends, and this is how you start to work up to get good at it, right?

Speaker 2 And luckily for me, all the bars in Claremont were dead empty.

Speaker 2 They needed punters. So, so the bar, the Claremont Hotel, which is like, which is one of the nicest pubs in all of Western Australia, could have no one there on a Friday or Saturday.

Speaker 2 And so it's like, because of the killer.

Speaker 2 It's like, I was like, I'll make sure we all drive in, and there's always designated drivers and that type of stuff because all the rest of the girls got in cabs. Everyone stayed together.

Speaker 2 All my mates from university, we used to go out into the murder zone to watch me do stand-up.

Speaker 1 That's fucking class, dude.

Speaker 1 We had a guy, who did we have? We had

Speaker 1 the Baton Rouge serial killer when I was in college over there. Bring him up, and that was Lee

Speaker 2 Harvey

Speaker 2 Todd Lee. Derek Todd Lee.

Speaker 1 DTL, they called him.

Speaker 2 Oh, here we go. DTL.

Speaker 1 He was DTF, too, I think. He was a killer and rapist.

Speaker 2 Not a lot of black serial killers. I watch a lot of true crime.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they kept saying he was white, and they kept

Speaker 1 swabbing all the honkies in our and everything. And then

Speaker 1 they called him. They called him right there.
Peanut, they called him too. Some people called him Peanut.
Did he get killed in prison? Where is he today?

Speaker 1 He's probably looking, he looks like he could work for you. But

Speaker 2 you don't have the death penalty down there?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, if you hang out in New Orleans long enough, you'll get shot once, but I don't know if that's the death penalty.
That's just like tourism.

Speaker 2 So you grew up in, like, not in New Orleans, aren't we? Yeah, regular town.

Speaker 1 Covington is our town. Covington.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if we had any Aussies near us.

Speaker 2 I've, I, I, very much. It's funny thing about like

Speaker 2 all the all the Australians who come out, they go, I'm coming out to LA. I'm going to come out to LA.
And then they come and visit me and they're like, where are you going?

Speaker 2 Oh, we're going to go to New York and we're going to go to Orlando. Right? That's all the three places they go.

Speaker 1 Is that the main spots? I was wondering what are the main spots that Australians go in the U.S.

Speaker 2 I've been telling people, go to fucking Nashville, man.

Speaker 2 It's like as much fun. They'll go to Vegas as well, of course.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, go to Miami.

Speaker 2 Go to New Orleans. There's like these places that are fucking awesome.
There's so many cities in America where you're like, this place is fucking a bike.

Speaker 2 And there's also hidden gems in Australia that you might not know about. Like, a lot of people might go to Brisbane instead of going to the Gold Coast.

Speaker 2 And the Gold Coast has got a lot of fun things to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Gold Coast was amazing, dude. We would take, we got bikes and went and you could ride them on the sand on the beach, those motorized bikes, dude.
Yeah. Just zipping.

Speaker 1 I mean, the beach, it was like 70 miles long. You're just cruising.
Absolutely beautiful, you know? Dude, that was fucking faster.

Speaker 2 That's our Miami, innit?

Speaker 1 Yes, it was. And it was just like...

Speaker 2 But a little bit more redneck-y Miami.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a little safer, though, too. Cleaner.
Yeah, yeah. I know.

Speaker 2 It's a banger. It's a banger of a place.
But how'd you find the sun? You had to put sunset.

Speaker 1 It's going to New Zealand and the sun there will kill you. You can't stay out very long.
Some of the beaches there.

Speaker 2 Well, the hole in the ozone layer

Speaker 2 is over Australia and New Zealand. It's over Australia and New Zealand.
There's one, I believe on the North Pole and the other one's down there.

Speaker 2 But I'm an environmentalist in the sense that I believe in global warming and I think that we need to make adjustments. Otherwise, the world's fucked and the water levels are going to rise.

Speaker 2 And I know a lot of people don't believe that, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 But I will say this. We got rid of the CFCs from the hairspray, from the refrigeration and from the styrofoam, which was the three main places where CFC, and the hole's getting smaller.

Speaker 2 It does, if we make change.

Speaker 2 That is a good example of how things can actually fix itself. You know what I mean? Because we we only found out about it.
Like we go, there's a layer.

Speaker 2 In the 80s, they were like, there's a layer.

Speaker 2 And sadly, there's a hole in it. And we're fucked.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 2 That's the most, I mean, and like, can you imagine now if they brought that out at news, the internet, the conspiracy theories that would come out now, if you went, there's a mystical layer around us and there's a hole in it.

Speaker 2 And the UV rights go through there and then they

Speaker 1 nobody would believe that.

Speaker 2 It's too far-fetched. But it's the same as like the first to just tell you about germs.
Oh, there's these things you can't see that'll get on you and make you sick.

Speaker 2 And if you're, you know, doing surgery or stuff, you should wash your hands because if those germs get into the cut, infections will happen.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Oh, you can't see them.

Speaker 1 Like they're ghosts?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what he would ask. They're going to be ridiculous.
Yeah, yeah. They're microscopic.
They're little tiny things and they'll jump.

Speaker 2 That's fucking. They would have hung him.
They probably killed that guy. That's science fiction shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's completely science fiction.

Speaker 1 Everything's kind of like, everything's science fiction, really, until

Speaker 1 it becomes true, I guess.

Speaker 2 Everything's, I don't know. Well, my mate,

Speaker 2 Rhys Darby, who you know, Reese Darby from Ed Flag means death, Fly of the Concords. He's a big, big, Bigfoot guy.
Is he? He loves Bigfoot.

Speaker 1 Does Australians have their own Bigfoot?

Speaker 2 There's probably some. Oh, we have a bunyip.
Bunyip? Bunyips.

Speaker 1 Let me see them by the way.

Speaker 2 Yeah, bunyip. A bunyip is like, so B-U-N

Speaker 2 Bun

Speaker 2 Y-U- Y-U-P. There we go, banyip.
There it is.

Speaker 1 A mythical creature from Australia, Aboriginal folklore, primarily found in the southeastern regions. It's described as a large aquatic beast inhabiting swamps, billabongs, creeks, and water holes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the bunyip.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. What Rhys always says to me, I go, I go,

Speaker 2 where's the bones? Where's the fossils? Where's the thing?

Speaker 2 And he always goes, the platypus?

Speaker 2 Because the platypus was a mythical thing until someone actually caught one.

Speaker 2 There was people who said, I've seen it. It's the beaver with a duck's head.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's a beaver.

Speaker 2 It's a trans beaver or whatever. And they're so elusive, and they're so at the bottom of these creeks and stuff like that, and no one ever saw them.

Speaker 2 They were a Bigfoot of its time.

Speaker 1 And no shit, they look like

Speaker 1 they are totally fictional. If you look at that animal, I mean, that's insane.

Speaker 2 They're their own breed of animal. They're a monotreme, monotrim,

Speaker 2 which means that they are a marsupial that lays eggs.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 So every other marsupial uses a pouch, and obviously the animal crawls into the pouch, it digests, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it can stick its head out of the pouch, et cetera, right?

Speaker 2 But this is, yeah, it's a marsupial that lays eggs. It's its own fucking creature, man.

Speaker 1 They're beautiful. We got to get somebody to bring one in.
I would love to see one.

Speaker 2 Well, I've only ever seen them in the Zoom.

Speaker 2 I've never seen one in the wild.

Speaker 2 They're on one of our coins. You know, we always put a different...
That's a great thing about Australia is we have

Speaker 2 some good-looking weird area. There's the platypus, and he's all swimming around, 20 cents.

Speaker 1 That pea puss right there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, isn't he? Yeah, he gets on the, he gets on the money. He's popular, the platypus.
I love them.

Speaker 1 And are they only in Australia?

Speaker 2 Yes, they're only in Australia. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 See, that's a great thing. You guys have like,

Speaker 1 it's just something unique over there, man. I really think that

Speaker 1 people are excited about the direction America's headed. I wonder if people are, I don't know.
I just get paranoid that everybody's kind of freaking out right now.

Speaker 1 Okay Are people are people freaking out in Australia right now?

Speaker 2 Yes, everyone's freaking out all around the world really yeah the world is in in a transitional phase

Speaker 2 Which direction we're about to go in who knows things might you know I look I I'm an annie Trump guy. I know you've you've met you know him right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean as much as you can kind of know I mean I'm actually you know, I've met him a couple times, you know, and I know that a lot of people

Speaker 2 fans of this podcast are going to hate me, right?

Speaker 2 So, but that's life. That's putting yourself out there, right?

Speaker 2 I'm at the stage now with Donald Trump where I can't argue anymore. I've done the stand-up routines.

Speaker 2 I had a TV show where I talked about it. There's no more arguments for me to make about the guy because he's not getting fucking voted in again.
This is it. Right.
These next three years, this is it.

Speaker 2 It's here now. So I'm of the opinion, let's just fucking see how it goes.
You know, this whole idea that Americans are always with, impeach, impeach. He's been impeached.
Bill Clinton was impeached.

Speaker 2 It's all bullshit. Yeah.
Means fucking nothing. Yeah.
Means nothing. Oh, but he's a convicted criminal.
Only makes him stronger.

Speaker 2 What the liberals have to stop doing is kicking up and down going, he's wrong and this is wrong and just figure out ways to beat him.

Speaker 2 Stop fucking telling me how bad he is and figure out a way to fucking beat him because Kamala Harris wasn't the fucking answer. Yeah.
Right. Oh, I agree.

Speaker 2 You know, so I agree that you got to figure, you have to, yeah, it's like you have to find a solution if you're just sitting there yeah crying yelling about everything it's all they most of these parties do but now there is no beating him now it's just writing it out yeah right just just riding it you know it's it's it's uh he he said was it on your podcast where he said he would get rid of income tax was it here

Speaker 2 whose podcast was on some podcasts it might have been might have been with schultz might have been schultz he said he said uh if the tariffs work i'll get rid of income tax i tell you what i have been one of those people who referred to Donald Trump as Hitler, right?

Speaker 2 And I will also add this: not at the end, not up, because everyone goes, but Hitler killed six million Jews. I'm not talking about that era.
I'm talking about Hitler just out of art school.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm like, you know, like, yeah, like a sophomore Hitler.
Yeah, yeah. So I tell you what, if he gets rid of income tax, you'll never hear me call him Hitler ever again.

Speaker 2 I'll be too busy calling him my Fuhrer. If he gets rid of income tax, you'll have no more complaints from me.
I'll be all right. But, like, you know, look, I'll ask you a question.

Speaker 2 How do you think things are going?

Speaker 1 I think that I do. I don't like this stuff with Gaza in the Middle East.
I don't understand why

Speaker 1 we give so much money to Israel. Like, you know, a lot of the big countries are against them right now.
That think Netanyahu is like, is like the new Hitler. It's like, or that Netanyahu is the worst.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I don't understand that relationship.

Speaker 2 It's a tricky one, that one, because no one wants to watch a genocide.

Speaker 2 And what happened, they shouldn't have taken hostages and no one you know hamas isn't angels and all that stuff but if if you can see those pictures of those starving kids and not be moved and not think that we should do something about that that's you you're wrong i yeah you know what i mean so so whether whatever side i don't want to get into what side i'm on i think it's pretty obvious where i'm at but

Speaker 2 whatever side you're on right

Speaker 2 we're all on the side of children not fucking starving right yeah we're all on that side So let's figure that out. And then diplomacy.
Let's fucking talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, now we've got Palestine being recognized as its own state and stuff like that. Maybe that's somewhere where we can start moving forward.

Speaker 2 I don't have the answer, but

Speaker 2 what's going on now is not the fucking right thing. I'll tell you that much.
And

Speaker 2 a lot of politicians... have to, you know, we elect these people to actually make change.
All right, make change, man. You know,

Speaker 2 I could be turned in to a Donald Trump fan very quickly.

Speaker 2 It wouldn't take much if he just if he stopped that war there really like in a succinct way that was fair and just you got all my support in the world man I'm not just here going fuck that guy and he's dumb fucking orange skin and his bad comover you know what I mean like it's not

Speaker 2 it's so so you were saying you

Speaker 1 want to see action I just you know it's like and then I wonder you know it feels very much like we're headed into a surveillance state you know these are things that I just like am concerned about.

Speaker 1 Overall, I'm thinking.

Speaker 2 But you were just saying how much you enjoyed Australia and how Britain, all that sort of stuff. Britain's got more cameras than

Speaker 2 filmed 24 hours a day.

Speaker 1 I think we're headed there very quickly. That's why there's all this ICE stuff.
That's why they're pulling everybody off the streets because they have to get inventory.

Speaker 1 In two years, there's going to be, I believe we're going to be in a surveillance state. You won't be able to, say if you walked out in public and you were not here,

Speaker 1 you didn't have documentation to be here. And people have different thoughts on all that.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that if you didn't have documentation to be here the cameras it would notice immediately so everything has to be on the books that's where i think we're headed so that's why i think they're doing all of that stuff um which i'm not saying makes it wrong or right but i think that's but we've already got that okay so louisiana has that prison escape right you know all those prisons they caught them all through facial recognition Who does?

Speaker 2 Louisiana? Yeah, you remember when there was that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they all ran off that loading dock.

Speaker 1 One's still out, I think.

Speaker 2 Who's there?

Speaker 2 Is there one still going? They call him hot boy. This is the weird thing about prison breaks.
Never in cinematic history

Speaker 2 have we championed the police trying to catch them. That's true.
Every time we want, so we got we got one out

Speaker 1 as of June 2025. The Louisiana inmates are no longer at large.

Speaker 2 Damn. Yeah, they're all done.

Speaker 1 Antoine Massey and Derek Groves, the last two to be apprehended. Shout out Massey and Grove.

Speaker 2 But this was the thing, is there was facial recognition that picked up the people, and now they're like, oh, yeah, we have that technology here.

Speaker 1 Right. They had to admit it.

Speaker 2 They had to admit it because that's how they caught them. And while we were using it for a thing, we weren't using it again.
They just sort of fluffed over it like, yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 They've already got it, mate. Yeah.
They've already got it.

Speaker 2 Have you seen, I'm a support the Clippers. If you go to that Inuit dome, have you been to see anything there?

Speaker 2 You don't, there's just facial recognition as you walk in. That's it.
You've already done it on the app.

Speaker 2 As you walk in, they're like, hello, Jim. And you're like, wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're just walking straight in. It's happening fast.

Speaker 1 It's here.

Speaker 1 We're not realizing that it's here, you know?

Speaker 1 But I'll say this. I just want people to be able to be happy.
I don't, you know, it's kind of like Ethereum, but it's like you want people to be able to live in a safe place.

Speaker 1 You want people to have jobs and have purpose.

Speaker 1 So, those types of things. I don't understand some of the bigger picture things, like what happens with tariffs and what their goals are, and all of that kind of shit.

Speaker 1 I just, it starts to really feel like that neither party represents the people, and that's the part that kind of concerns me the most.

Speaker 2 So, well, the tariffs, I just wish they,

Speaker 2 if you need to do them, okay, so okay,

Speaker 2 I haven't, I haven't felt any joy from it.

Speaker 2 i haven't seen my bank balance go up i haven't seen my neighbor get a job i haven't seen factories you know and i might be wrong but just the eye check i haven't seen any benefit from it all i found is there's things that i'm paying for that that are costing more yeah right

Speaker 2 but maybe it's too soon to look i don't i think could be too soon to tell i think you have i think you know he's a brash guy shit is going to be brash is he leaning into making it more brash for no reason he needs a cleaner fucking thing that we see We go, this is how, every day you turn on the news, it's like this, we're going to tariff them 35%

Speaker 2 and this country is getting 30 and fuck you, 45 for you cunts. You know what I mean? Like it's, it really is just a bloke just throwing numbers out there.

Speaker 2 If he had a thing with a chart, a very clear thing that said, this country's getting this and this is the reason why and this is how we're going forward.

Speaker 2 I might not agree with it. I may not respect it, but at least I'd understand it.

Speaker 1 I agree. Get a fucking chart, man.
Get us a chart. Things just seem very bizarre.
But I think I feel like they all know something that's going on are going to happen and we don't know it.

Speaker 1 That's a feeling that I have.

Speaker 2 Any war could happen at any fucking stage.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's war. It could be aliens.
It could be anything.

Speaker 2 You reckon it's aliens? You know, I don't know. You reckon the aliens will wait until now after all.
Yeah, okay. So you think I've seen a UFO.

Speaker 2 You know where I saw a UFO? I saw a UFO with a plane of people. I was on an aeroplane and I saw a UFO and we all looked out the window and went, oh, baba, baba.

Speaker 2 In USA, in USA. In America.
Wow. But we were flying over Area 51.
We were flying near Vegas, coming back across the thing.

Speaker 2 I don't think I saw an alien. I think I saw a test vehicle being flown, but it was circular, like a ball, and it moved in those type of.

Speaker 1 You're no doubt you saw it.

Speaker 2 I saw it with a... I saw it with a lot of people.
I saw it with a lot of people.

Speaker 1 And have y'all kept in touch or anything like that?

Speaker 2 No, I didn't get me phone out, which I wish I did, because we all went, whoa. And I was over Area 51.
Area 51, by its own admission, is where they test new aircrafts, right?

Speaker 2 Where they test new aircraft. So I saw an unidentified flying object.
I don't believe there were aliens in it. Now,

Speaker 2 could it be alien technology? I don't think. It's a really long way.
I believe there's lots of aliens out there. I believe there's tons of them.

Speaker 2 I just don't think if you came here and visited, you'd hover around a little bit and then duck off. I think there'd be more to it.

Speaker 1 I think they used to come here a lot, and now this is like going to like an old theme park. I don't think they come here as much.

Speaker 1 I think like if you have to bring your kids here for like their spring break, if you're an alien, their kids are like, fuck that place, you know?

Speaker 1 So I think they're probably off doing cooler shit, maybe, but

Speaker 1 what do I know, you know?

Speaker 2 No, you don't want to go there. It's like our planet in the 70s.

Speaker 1 We're like there, like Panama City Beach or something, Florida. You know, it's like used to be great, but now they're all going to like Vegas somewhere or some other place.

Speaker 2 Do you think in your lifetime we will have proof of aliens? Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 In your lifetime. Yeah, I think something

Speaker 1 is looming in the distance, it feels like.

Speaker 2 Because we have proof of UFOs. They've shown the footage.
The FBI has released footage.

Speaker 1 Looking, you saw one.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 but it's unidentified flying objects. It doesn't mean...
And it so happens that you seem to see them more in America. That makes no fucking sense.

Speaker 1 Scarters see them the most. Do they? Scotts, yeah.
They love them.

Speaker 2 But they're heavy drinkers. Heavy, heavy drinkers.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 And it's always so cloudy. You get a little bit of light coming through the clouds.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, hello,

Speaker 2 you're four.

Speaker 2 See it?

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? That's just the sun, mate.

Speaker 2 That's just a bit of ray gun lad.

Speaker 1 Jim Jeffries, dude, thanks so much for hanging out, dude. I got a freaking, I got a show tonight, so I gotta.

Speaker 2 Can I just plug what I've got going on at the reference? Just very quickly, I'll just get my plugs out of the way. I've got Tulim Policy on Netflix right now.
Watch it.

Speaker 2 Very proud of it. Happy with this special.

Speaker 2 I also have a podcast called ATM with me and Amos Gill that is coming out. I am in a movie coming out, a Jordan Peale film

Speaker 2 called Him, which is directed by Justin Tipping, produced by Jordan Peele, Marlon Wayans, Tyreek Withers, Julia Fox, and it's like a proper cinematic release and I'm like doing drama shit, man.

Speaker 2 I'm like acting in that.

Speaker 2 And I have a TV show on Fox, which is a reality show called the snake which is a lot of fun which is which is my 12-year-old's favorite program favorite thing i've done so the snake is like a mix between fear factor survivor and big brother uh just sort of and you know but check out the snake yeah the snake's all right man and you can watch it with your kids right i it's it's the first thing i've done that i can watch with my kids that's pretty cool yeah yeah so uh we're growing up that's me four things i i'll probably last time i did a podcast with you probably six years ago or something like that and that's uh

Speaker 2 i'll wait until all these things are done and see if I have some new stuff and come back in again.

Speaker 1 I'd love to anytime. I feel bad, man.
Today I was just really kind of tired. I think I'm kind of exhausted, so it was hard for me to like think of some different stuff, you know.

Speaker 2 I didn't shut up, man. So I'm sorry if you had some more questions.

Speaker 1 No, it was a blessing, dude. Um, and we want to get that photo of Lieutenant Max Nugent.
We'd love to keep him here if it's okay with your brother.

Speaker 2 That would be

Speaker 1 unless that's weird. Is it weird?

Speaker 2 You don't have to have him here all the time. You can have him sometimes or whatever or whatever.
But

Speaker 2 no, anytime we can remember, that's the favorite. My favorite favorite thing I just did today was talk about my nephew.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it was awesome to see a photo of him. And thank you for sharing.
And thank you for your service, Mr. Max Nugent.

Speaker 1 We appreciate that. Jim Jeffries,

Speaker 1 two

Speaker 1 limb

Speaker 1 policy is out now. Check it out.
I'll share it on socials in just a few minutes as soon as you get out of here. Thanks so much, dude, and congratulations on everything, dude.

Speaker 2 Thanks, bro. Yeah.
You too. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be

Speaker 2 cornerstone.

Speaker 2 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it

Speaker 2 in my bones.

Speaker 2 But it's gonna take