#617 - Aziz Ansari

This episode is brought to you by Nespresso.

Gift magical mornings with Nespresso Virtuopop.

Compact and stylish, Virtuo Pop is made to meet every morning coffee craving.

From espresso to coffee, hot or iced, at the click of a button.

And celebrate the season with Nespresso's limited edition coffee flavors: sweet almond and hibiscus, cinnamon and candy tamarind, and festive double espresso.

Magic in the making.

Shop the holiday gift collection exclusively at nespresso.com.

There are some new things in the merch shop I want to let you know about.

We got the tour merch.

If you were unable to come to one of the cities, if you were unable to grab a piece of tour merch then and you want to get something,

we've put whatever we have remaining there online.

We also have some new mmm bubby

tees that have been restocked and we've got hoodies coming on those some camo gang hitter hunt club a lot of

new items in there.

And thank you so much.

Some people are getting

gifts for their friends or family for Christmas.

So thank you for letting us be a part of your holidays.

And thanks for supporting the show, TheovonStore.com.

Thank you guys.

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

He's an actor and a filmmaker.

He just directed his first film called Good Fortune, which we're going to talk about.

And I'm looking forward to getting to meet him, really.

We never even known each other.

So we're going to do that now.

Today's guest is Mr.

Aziz Ansari.

Sweet, man.

I'm going to get a hit of this.

What do you drink, man?

What's your do you have a beverage of choice, kind of?

Just espresso and water.

Really?

I mean, not together, but I drink espresso a lot.

And then

water.

And then if I'm drinking like, you know, wine or whatever, a martini or whatever.

Ooh, a martini, huh?

Check, check.

You good?

Okay.

Yeah.

Do Indian people react well to martinis?

Is your family Indian by nature?

Yeah, by nature, they are Indian.

Okay.

Yeah, my family's from India.

I was born in South Carolina.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wait, are we going now or no?

Yeah, we can be.

Yeah, whatever you want.

Okay, wait.

So where are you from?

You're from Louisiana.

I'm from Louisiana, yeah.

Okay.

Because, you know, whenever I hear someone else with a southern accent, it's almost like when I see someone that's Indian, I'm a little like, oh, I need to, but we've never really met, I don't think, properly.

You were at Chris rock's birthday party i saw you there but you know that was a crazy thing i didn't really get to say hi but

do you have that when you when you hear someone with a southern accent because to me there's so few people i don't have one but i'm from south carolina i lost my accent It comes out when I start talking to other people that have it.

Even the guy that picked me up at the airport, he was from Atlanta and

I started and I like, it started seeping in.

Yeah.

But yours has stayed strong.

Mine is gone.

But I I remember when I met Danny McBride, because there's so few people that have southern accents that are in our kind of acting Hollywood comedian.

That's true, huh?

Strange.

I think right before our generation, it was more prevalent.

Before, well, there was the whole like blue collar.

Right, those guys.

Those guys, they had their run.

That was, that was, they all had southern accents.

Yeah.

Larry the Cable guy, definitely southern accent.

Yeah, he's going back on tour I just saw.

Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, you you know, I grew up in a small town in South Carolina called Bennettville.

There's like 8,000 people there.

No one ever toured there or anything.

And I remember some kids went and saw Jeff Foxworthy, and he came to Florence, South Carolina, which is like 45 minutes.

And they're like, we saw Jeff Foxworthy.

That was the first time I'd ever heard of someone going to a live comedy show.

Oh, wow.

By the way, I'm shivering a little bit because, so I, I, you know, I came from,

I was in Chicago and I had to get up at like five in the morning And you had a cold plunge, and your producer was like, if you want to jump in the cold plunge, and I was like, are you kidding?

Are you serious?

Because I'm a little tired and I didn't really sleep yesterday.

And I did it.

But like, I'm a little

cold.

I've trimmed a little bit.

It'll rattle you.

Yeah, no, I'm glad you got in, dude.

Yeah, I got in.

I was in there earlier this morning.

I get in now because I don't want to.

So I'm like, let me go do something that I don't want to do to start my day.

And I think it adjusts my attitude, which I need a lot.

And dude,

I just went to the university of south carolina we had we met a chauffeur over there his girlfriend had thrown fettuccine like a hot thing of boiling fettuccine on him and he yeah and he had him be like it and like dude it's crazy that's that story took a dark turn really fast that's the last thing i expected to happen to this guy in the story is is a is boiling fettuccine thrown on him ex bro a hundred percent and but he was our with the water not yeah okay because because if it was just a fettuccine that that's not too bad yeah water in the mix, too, though.

That's a crime.

Yeah, oh, it was a crime.

And his neck was like dripping off of him and stuff.

It was, he went through a lot.

But anyway, met him.

He's a chauffeur over there.

Stan,

he's out of the Bronx originally, but we just had him come in.

He was just like kind of a unique character.

But.

Hey, Trev, will you cut the AC off just in case?

I don't want to fucking lose Aziz.

Am I looking crazy?

No, you see fine.

Okay, I didn't know if I was sitting there.

But no, I know what you mean.

Sometimes Sometimes if you get that in and that AC's on, it's kind of a lot.

Dude, is this true?

And thanks so much for coming in today, man.

Oh, man, I really appreciate it.

And, you know, I'm not really super familiar with a lot of podcasts.

And I haven't done a big press tour in like a long time.

Cause, you know, the last time I had something come out was during COVID.

So that was weird.

You didn't really do the normal stuff.

And then

I've been working on these films for a bit.

And

so before I was like, they were like, oh, do all these podcasts.

I was was like, well, I'm going to listen to episodes.

And I listened to a couple of years.

I listened to the Bernie Sanders one.

Oh, yeah.

Which I really liked.

And to me, really connected with my film because the stuff you guys were talking about,

you're talking about something that I hadn't heard where the number one cause of bankruptcy is medical bills.

Yeah.

And in my character in the film, you're never really giving a clear explanation of what happened to this guy.

The guy's, you know, he's lost his job.

He's sleeping in his car.

Oh, in good good fortune, you mean?

Yeah.

But it made me think of that, what your conversation with Bernie Sanders.

And I was like, oh man, this is really

in the same kind of realm.

And then, and I loved your episode with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I'm always fascinated by Arnold.

Really?

Yeah, because I think he's so, I think he's so smart.

And

yeah, I don't know why.

I think you realize like the more you're in this business, especially the, in the kind of movie acting world to like like be an actor that's kind of had a few hits, like a lot of things have to come together and it's not an accident.

You know what I mean?

When these guys have this run of hits, like they've got to be really sharp.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty fascinating.

I guess we went to his office and there's like the, his like Conan thing is in there and like the sword.

He's like, wait, did you meet that little donkey he has?

I don't know if the donkey was there.

There was some hair on the floor.

That's in his house.

This was at his office.

Oh, no, this was his office.

Yeah.

There was some hair on the floor, but I don't know what it was from, I don't think.

Oh my god.

Yeah, there's a donkey.

Oh, because I think he's very Dutch like that or something.

Oh, he's very.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, those are mini donkeys.

They look mixed, too.

I met a small donkey in Nashville once.

Oh.

First off, I love Nashville.

I go to Zany's a lot when I'm like working on sets.

Yeah.

Oh, I think I remember.

That's what the last thing I remember.

I remember hearing you came to Zane's and did like six or seven nights or something over there.

Yeah.

And one time, one of my favorite shows, The Power Went Out, and I had to do the show like the power went out and we were like, what do we do?

And the staff there was amazing.

They like immediately brought candles out and I was like yelling my set and then some guy like brought like a speaker and a microphone.

It was incredible.

Oh dude, I think, didn't they?

I think there was an article or something about that I even remember.

I remember seeing a picture about that or at least just hearing about it like in local lore, you know.

One thing about Nashville is dude, it's a very small city.

Like it's small.

It's like people, it's, something happens, you hear about it.

It's not like, it just feels like a huge town.

Like Like, how long you lived here?

A really big town.

I lived here for, I think, almost four years.

Where were you before?

The pandemic.

I was in L.A.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, and I moved directly from there because during the pandemic, I remember seeing like Kid Rock's bar, you know, and people are having a blast there.

And meanwhile, like my landlord is like making us wear hazmat suits to go get our fucking mail and shit because everybody's all paranoid and shit out there.

And I was like, fuck this shit.

I gotta fucking go, you know?

I've always loved Nashville.

I did a series for Netflix, uh, and we filmed an episode here.

And I always come here for stand-up.

I did the rhyme and I'd never done the rhyming.

I'd always done some other theater.

And I did the rhyming on this tour that I uh a few months ago, and that's that's one of the best, best places I've ever performed.

Yeah, yeah, there's that thing.

Yes, yes, that isn't that so crazy.

Yeah, a power outage force comedian as easily's already finished his set in the dark Monday night, dude.

That was cool.

That was like one of those cool, cool moments.

That was fun.

But when I was here for that trip to get back to the donkeys,

my wife,

she's Danish and she loves, she loves donkeys.

And there was some fair here

and they had miniature donkeys.

Oh, beautiful.

And we sought them out and we said, what's up to him?

One of them, his name was,

his name was Roger and he was born

October 4th.

So Roger 10-4.

So we met Roger and there was another little donkey named Lily, but

she was a little big.

I don't know if she was a micro donkey.

Roger was straight up micro.

Lily was a little big.

I don't know if she was micro.

At that size, I don't judge their weight, to be honest with them.

You know what I'm saying?

Because the bodies, there's already a lot going on.

You know, it's like, yeah, I think.

I think that, I mean, look, I think they're beautiful.

I remember I met the world's smallest horse one time.

When was that and where?

And this is, his name was Tom Thumb.

And I met him in Alameda, I believe.

And how did that intro come about?

Well,

people are like, you got to go meet him and shit.

And I remember I'd been in a bar.

Alameda is where?

California?

California, yeah.

Okay.

So you were doing a show in Alameda and then like, you got to meet the smallest horse.

No, we'd been out there for a, I was just, I think I'd heard about it.

I think I'd been in conversations about like smaller animals, animalia generally.

The world's.

Whoa.

The one I met was Tom Thumb.

And if you can also look up separately on Perplexity here, if you can just look up

Theo Von Tom Thumb.

I did a post on it.

It was pretty fascinating.

What's Perplexity?

Perplexity is like a different AI.

It does, for me, I like it because

it can help me like edit and pull clips out of things.

You can put something in it.

And it'll be like,

what clips do you like in this?

What do you suggest?

That sort of thing.

Oh, whoa.

So it's kind of like, it's like a, it's like an AI, you know?

It's far beyond my.

What?

I don't know any of this stuff.

Dude, what are you talking about?

Do people, how do your parents feel about that?

That I don't know

perplexity?

That you don't know about the AIs?

I mean, I know what it is.

I don't really use that stuff much.

I don't really use internet or phone or anything very much.

I try to stay off.

Yes.

Oh, here we go right here.

Let's take a video.

Let's

go.

Everyone can meet.

The world is a good one.

How long are you going to be here today for?

He'll be here all day.

How small is he?

E las grande cionuras de kansas, el les más pequinho, que algunes, classifa.

Whoa.

Whoa, pero es nueno un babe.

Elas un caballito presido.

And he's alive, too.

You don't know what people are doing, dude.

But yeah, so just to let you know, I guess we have a lot of symbiosis there in our love for the small horses.

Small, what are horses and donkeys?

What's that?

Ask the AI.

What is that called?

What are that?

that kind of animal horses donkeys the four-legged kind of they're they're similar there must be some group yeah what is that called?

The Equus.

Yeah, the Equus.

The Equine.

The Equines.

But dude, when you think that God took all the beauty of a huge horse and put it into like a baby Snicker of a horse, a little horse.

Yeah, there's not.

Is there any other animals that have minis?

Like, because there's many horses, there's many donkeys.

What is it?

There's many cows?

There are?

Oh, wow.

Oh, God.

That'd be a dark moment.

You go to a steakhouse.

They're like, just so you know, these are all mini cows.

Yeah.

Oh.

It's still.

That's too dark.

I'd have a little.

You know what I'm saying?

You probably could only have a little.

That's true, dude.

There's not like a 40-ounce mini cow steak.

That's not happening.

It's like, it's like, it's one ounce.

It's like, it's like when you go to a sushi restaurant, they have that one little piece of wagyu.

This is from a mini cow.

Oh, my God.

They're all furry.

Maybe I'm going to finish this show and get addicted to the internet because this is pretty fun.

I never knew about mini cows.

I didn't know.

I would have just been wondering about equines, equus.

Well, look, dude, I think you could get your wife one of these.

Let me see.

Miniature horses rarely exceed 34 inches in height.

Miniature donkeys also max out at around 34 inches.

There's many micro pigs.

Oh, wait.

This is a whole list of everything there's many of.

There's mini horses, donkeys, pygmy goats.

They don't call them micro goats.

They prefer to be referred to as pygmy goats.

Mini sheeps, micro pigs, micro pigs I've heard of.

Imagine a mini sheep, though.

Hmm.

You make a very small sweater.

Yeah.

You're just sitting there.

Oh, dude, we got to get some of these animals.

But dude, when I was a kid, they only had big dogs and then the dogs started getting littler.

A lot of this, I think, is crossbreeding and inbreeding.

You know, I grew up in a kind of an, not an inbreeding district, but I grew up in like certainly like the stray animal belt and the inbreeding belt, kind of like

they, you can, they run across some of the the same plains in america okay and we would see a lot of you know people start getting smaller over time in the area because you and that's when you knew like okay

people need to start walking farther or driving farther for sex you know you just knew the inbreeding was heating up you know you know the kettle the kettle was getting a little warm you know

When somebody'd have a baby and they could just put it on like a key ring or whatever, it was like, that thing's too small, you know.

Good to see you, man, because we've never really gotten to talk and it's good to laugh with somebody no i and you know i i love meeting comedians that i haven't met before i i uh

i i i was thinking this the other day like when i was on tour i was you know i bring some of the same guys out with me and who do you take with you sorry to interject um will sylvance

uh

he's in the movie isn't he Will's in the movie.

And Ricky Velez,

they came out with me a lot early this year.

And then our tour manager, Beth, who I love.

Will especially, have you ever met Will?

Do you know Will at all?

I don't know him, but I recognized him immediately.

I know him, but I don't know him well.

The hardest I laugh in my life is after shows going to dinner with Will because he's just the most ridiculous guy.

And he just, he's so funny.

Like, just this stuff, like, this is one of my favorite Will anecdotes.

One time I told him, I said, I wanted to send him a playlist of some music.

And he's like, I don't use Spotify.

And I was like, well, what do you use?

He goes, I use Amazon Music.

Oh, type shit.

And I was like, why do you use Amazon Music?

He's like, because I like to download the MP3s and burn them on the CDs.

I was like,

this is such a unique dude.

Yeah.

I mean, it sounds illegal, but it also sounds like I respect it, you know?

But I'll say I love comedians.

Comedians are my favorite people.

Well, I think in the end, it's like, you have to realize how rare it is that people do it and that uh that we do all have something in common yeah and it used to feel like a lot

again it's like the southern accent it's like when i see another indian person there's something that pulls me towards them yeah it makes me comfortable yeah i think well some of that's just tribe you know there's a little bit of like whatever's built into us and what a specific tribe to you know because most people's

you know most people's worst fear is public speaking and it's what we do for a living yeah so there's something

deep inside that's a bond with all of us.

It has to be.

Oh, we're like Satan's mini donkeys.

Mini donkeys of self-esteem.

Yeah.

Mini self-esteem.

That's why we need so much approval with laughter.

It's like if you pet me enough.

Micro self-esteem people.

Yeah.

If you pet me enough, I'll grow into a regular size horse.

Yeah, yeah.

If we get enough laughs, we play enough.

Theaters or if we if we graduate to arenas, then we become full-sized people.

This is enough.

That's hilarious.

It's almost like our Pinocchio story.

Yeah.

Yeah, dude, I stayed up watching the movie last night, Good Fortune.

That's your, it's a new movie.

Yeah.

Dude, the amount of turns that were, that started to happen.

I'm about like, I guess maybe 45 minutes in.

The amount of turns that started to happen in the plot really were making it heat up.

Oh, well, thank you.

It's cool, dude.

And Keanu Reeves, he's like this, like.

He almost reminds me of like a surfer dude that won best in show at Westminster type of vibe.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, there's a little bit of California kind of, but he's very sweet, like a little pup.

And his posture is so good.

It seems like he would win best in show.

Like, he seems like he has very good posture.

I never noticed his posture, but.

You didn't?

No, but you know, I remember when we first started screening the movie,

as soon as he came up on screen, I could tell there was something like, whoa, this dude's a movie star.

And it's not just that he's handsome.

There's something, this other,

you know, there's this other thing that he has.

And he's so funny in the movie.

I mean,

he just kills.

And, and by the end of the movie, when I've watched it with crowds, like he's just doing the smallest thing and just getting huge laughs.

And

yeah, but

you directed and wrote and you're in it, right?

You wrote it too?

I wrote it.

Dude, that's awesome, bro.

Produced, acted everything too much.

So you have control issues, you think?

Yeah, a little bit, but in a positive way as well.

You know, Seth Rogan's in the movie and he does his show, The Studio.

And we've talked about that, about you know kind of doing everything because he does everything on that and there's something that's kind of streamlined about it you know that like oh i had this idea this is how i'm gonna write it and i and you kind of have for me whenever i'm writing something i kind of have a you know an idea in my head of how i want it to sound and look and everything and directing is pretty much just

conveying that to a group of people to execute it yeah So if all, if it's all coming from one person, and if you're one of the people acting, it does make things easier in a sense.

Yeah, man.

That does make a lot of sense, dude.

Yeah.

And, you know, you have other people like Seth and Keanu who, you know, they have iconic voices.

So when I'm writing, I have their voice in the head.

And then when they're there, they do it like even funnier than you think they were going to do it when you had it in your head.

They add something or they improvise.

And,

you know, the goal is really you have like the version in your head and then you have this whole crew and cast and you kind of convey your vision and then they take that and then they give you something else that's something from them and it becomes better than you thought.

How long would you guys shoot for?

Well, it was a little weird because we shot like one or two days and then the writer's strike happened.

We have to stop for a few months.

Yeah.

And then we came back and

this sounds crazy when I'm saying it out loud.

So we came back after the writer's strike, which was like, I don't know, seven months or something.

It was a while.

And were people pregnant and stuff?

Like, was it different?

No one got pregnant, but no, everyone was still the same.

But

we shot for like a couple of days and then Keanu broke his knee.

He broke his kneecap like on our like second or third day back.

What was he doing?

I mean, it sounds insane as I'm saying it out loud because this guy has done all the Matrix movies, all the John Wick movies, never got hurt.

Yeah.

We filmed a scene in a cold plunge.

And he was going back to his dressing room.

He was all wrapped up in a robe and everything.

And he like tripped on a rug and fell on his knee and broke his kneecap oh

yeah they got pictures of him in the crutches here on on perplexity uh

no he broke his freaking kneecap and were you guys right there could you hear it no no i it was in his in his dressing room so i i just heard like someone on the on the walkie's like oh i'm kianu's down

oh so he went through it alone Yeah, he fell down and then they were like, he's hurt.

And then he came down.

He was ready to film right away.

His knee was like bleeding like crazy.

And we're like, hey, man, maybe you should go to a doc.

And he he's like no no no let's shoot let he he he loves he loves shooting he just wants to shoot

but anyway

we could film most of his stuff he had like a knee brace that we like edited out with vfx

He didn't get that stupid one with the wheels on it.

No, he didn't have the wheel.

It was kind of mean to call it stupid, man.

People are,

that's a stuff people got to use.

But dude, I saw some drunk lady and her husband, they were going down Broadway in Nashville.

And she.

I know the thing you're talking about.

It's like kind of like this thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like a mini scooter.

And then my friend broke his Achille, Tori's Achilles heel, and he had to use that for a while.

Yeah, it's like the X games of being crippled or whatever.

Yeah, it's a little weird.

Yeah, it seems a little silly.

But he didn't have one of those.

He just had a big knee brace.

But we had these scenes where he had, like, most of the stuff we could kind of figure it out.

But there was a couple of scenes where we needed him to dance.

There's a whole thing where he starts dancing Kumbia and we were like, Kiana, we can't shoot the Kumbia stuff.

So

we came back after his leg healed and shot a few more days.

But it was like a 30-day shoot.

Oh, wow, it's fast.

That's a lot of work.

Yeah, that's not too much, but it's not too little.

Yeah.

Yeah, we just, David Spade and I made a movie, and I can't talk about it anymore on here because we've talked about it a lot.

How many days?

23 days.

That's pretty tight.

I mean, I don't know the script reading, but 23 is, you know, that's...

It's a lot of work.

But over 30, yeah, we probably had a few days off in between, you know, but it was a lot.

It was like the fires that happened.

So we had to move.

Oh, my God.

One one scene that just happens to be fire in it.

And you're like, okay, well, this has to be part of it because you've already set up for the day in whatever this space is going to be.

So like one day it's crazy winds.

The winds are like 45 miles an hour.

I remember that.

I was in LA during right during the fires.

I remember the day before there was the crazy winds.

I was like, what's happening?

Okay.

So we're like talking about kites.

We wrote that into the script.

Like, yeah, we should get some kites.

You wrote it in afterwards.

Yeah, just to add, like, yeah.

Maybe we'll get some kites after, you know, we like threw in a line.

It's like just trying to make things make sense, you know, because you just have, you're already set up.

Everybody's already driven there.

The people are there.

There's a lady standing there with makeup.

You know what I'm saying?

Like people have washed their bodies and gotten in their vehicles and gotten over there.

People have put on deodorant, people have put on clean panties and men's panties or whatever they're called, under,

men's underwear.

They put on their undergarments and they showed up.

And it's a lot of people.

And it's crazy because, you know.

You write these random things and then all these people get to work to do it.

And it's like some silly joke about a pillowcase or whatever.

Like, oh, which pillowcase do you want to use?

Yeah.

Sometimes it's something as dumb as that.

Like, all these people will drive to one place just so somebody can be like, Ricky's a bitch.

And you're like, okay, that's lunch.

You're like, that fucking took four hours?

God, and Ricky's not even a bitch anymore.

He's had a surgery by the end of the day.

You know what I'm saying?

So everything's changed.

It blows my mind that, you know, because it's like, stand up,

you do these things and you're just on a mic and there's people there listening.

But when you write a joke for a movie, there's all these trucks.

Everybody showed up.

It really makes you pause for a second.

I don't know if you had this thing where you're like, oh man, this is a lot.

I hope this is worth it for these people.

Oh, yeah.

I remember the first day we got to do to set, I was like, holy shit, I thought this had just been a bunch of emails, you know?

And it was like all the emails that come together in real life.

Like there was trailers.

There was some guy got electrocuted.

Yeah.

But it was like everything, you know, you were like, oh, people are acting.

There's some guy practicing his things.

They're like firing an extra.

Like all the shit was going on.

You know, like some guys just like, you know, had bought the wrong peanut.

Just all the shit's happening.

You know, there's no coffee.

There was always no coffee when I got over there.

It's fine.

But it was just like, it's fascinating to see it happen.

And it's one of those things that has to, like,

it's so expensive to do that you have to get it done on that day.

It's like whatever elements come, if somebody breaks their leg, if somebody goes missing, you have to, for an hour, you have to like shoot around.

It's just all these little things that kind of go on, you know?

I was telling someone, because people always ask me, like, what's the difference between doing stand-up and doing a film?

To me, doing stand-up, it's like

you're running around a track and you go, hey, I'm ready to go.

And then you go to all these cities and you run around the track.

And you're done.

And a movie is like, you have to go to these people and go, hey, I want to climb this mountain.

Can you give me money to climb this mountain?

And they're like, Let me see your plan, which is like your script.

And they're like, Hmm, well, we can give you this much.

Oh, that's not really enough supplies.

And then they're like, Well, can Brad Pitt climb the mountain with you?

Can you get, you know, these other famous, can you know?

And yeah.

And then if you're lucky enough to even get to start climbing the mountain, then people just start throwing boulders at you.

Hey, here's the writer's strike.

Hey, there's the fires in LA.

Oh, wait, Kiana's broke his kneecap.

And it is a positive blood test.

You're like, oh,

that's rough.

It's all just.

You're just trying to avoid all these different disasters.

And if you're lucky,

you make it to the top.

But it's so much harder to, there's so much more that's out of your control.

Stand-up is so.

In your control.

Yeah, there's something so pure and beautiful about stand-up.

I like doing both, but there is something so pure and beautiful about stand-up where it's just literally a person talking in the microphone.

microphone.

It's kind of

such a pure and direct art form.

And filmmaking, there's so many other things that are out of your control and it's a lot more complex, but it's rewarding in its own way.

I mean, I think about how,

you know,

I'm working on other scripts now and I'll have some joke and it'll be like, whoa, this will be maybe years from now before I'll see this joke play.

in a theater and hear a crowd of people laugh.

And then a stand-up joke, you know, you or I could think of something something tonight and go to a comedy club and try it and hear it get a laugh.

And that's so satisfying.

But there's also something crazy about like, I remember I started writing Good Fortune, like probably in the pandemic, I started writing it on and off.

And there's jokes I wrote in.

And then years later, it's like, I'm in a theater in Burbank and Kiana Reeves is saying the joke.

And, you know, a crowd full of people goes crazy.

And they're both amazing, but in different ways.

Yeah.

That's so wild, dude.

It's pretty much a fact that Prize Picks is the best place to win cash while watching sports.

And with football season fully underway, there's no better time to join Prize Picks.

One thing I love is that the app is really easy to use.

To create a lineup, you just pick more or less on a few players' stats.

That's it.

So you're not involved with the whole team.

You just got your dogs in there.

Prize picks is in more than 40 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia.

And right now, Prize Picks will give you $50 in lineups when you play your first $5

lineup.

That's what I'm saying.

Bang, bang, baby.

So win or lose, you get 50 bucks in lineups.

Okay.

Use promo code Theo when you download the app and sign up today.

And plus, for NBA tip-off, PrizePicks is also hooking up all customers with a max discount on Steph Curry.

Steph needs just one point against the Lakers on opening night for you to cash in.

I'm going to hit you with my picks for the week right there.

I got Pukanakua, Garrett Wilson, and my boy Lad McConkey.

With at least one rushing or receiving touchdown for each one of those guys.

Those are my prize picks.

You can tail them in the app.

And now you can even follow me on PrizePicks at Theo Von PrizePicks.

It's good to be right.

Let's be honest, okay?

Traditional phone systems aren't really set up for how businesses work today.

That's a fact.

And when you miss a call, you're not just missing a conversation, you're missing business.

That's why I want to mention Quo.

Formerly, Open Phone, is the modern alternative.

Designed to help you work smarter, build stronger relationships, and never miss an opportunity.

Quo is the number one business phone system that streamlines customer communications.

No more juggling two phones or being tied to a landline.

Quo works through an app on your phone or computer so you can run your business from anywhere.

It's if you're tying your own business to your cell phone, it's just a lot.

It doesn't have to be.

And today you can join over 90,000 businesses that are using Quo.

Get started free.

Plus, get 20% off your first six months at quo.com/slash theo.

That's quo.com slash theo.

And if you have existing numbers with another service, quo will port them over at no extra charge.

Quo, no missed calls, no missed customers.

Is there a movie that like you'll never get to make, but you think it would be cool?

Like it's so ridiculous?

Has there ever any been something like that?

Well, I mean, right now it's so hard to get any movie made.

They all feel like, oh man, I hope I can make make this.

You know, I've got two movies that I, two other scripts that I've written.

I had this movie with Bill Murray that I was doing that got shut down.

I want to finish that.

Why?

What happened?

Oh,

well,

Bill Murray

was part of this movie we did called Being Mortal.

Being Mortal is a book by this gentleman named Atul Gawande.

It's all about like end-of-life issues.

It's about stuff.

you know,

that people my age are dealing with with their parents, you know, maybe not not all the people, my people older, but you know,

they're getting sick, you got to put them in retirement homes, and you got to figure all this stuff out.

Very, you know, very interesting book.

And it's about

very, highly recommend this book.

Have you met Atul Gawande?

Yeah, yeah.

I had to talk to Atul to get rights to the book.

And when I decided to turn it into script, he

helped me.

And

there he is.

Very cool, very smart guy.

And

so I thought, okay,

this is like,

the book is not a fiction book.

It's non-fiction.

But I was like, oh man, if you could turn this into a story, there's things that are funny, even though it's dark, you know, like there's things that are funny about like,

you know, you have to go like take your parents to like all or your mom or dad, you have to take them to all these different retirement homes.

And like they, you know, all these people in his book, they'd always be like, I don't want to be in here.

Everybody in here is old.

It's like, that's people's perspective.

It's kind of funny.

and uh and just like how out of depth you are talking to these doctors doctors talk to you like you know you know these super complicated things they're like anyway so what do you want to do if you do this you know he might be paralyzed but if you do this you know you're like wait what yeah but if you do this he might be able to do a backflip and you're like well that's a that's a mixed bag it it's it's so you're you're you're just immediately out of your depth but anyway I read the story and read the book and you notice these patterns.

Like the parents are like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

And then they like drive their car through the house or something and then you're like we got to take you to home man yeah you know that kind of thing but that's really how it happens though for people it's really how it happens and i was like well if you did a story about this and the guy was bill murray that could be really funny and really poignant because he you know i think about him in like lost in translation or broken flowers and and he's one of these he's got this rare ability to be so funny but so grounded and touching and and sincere.

So I wrote the whole thing with him in mind.

And And there was no like, oh, I'll get another guy.

It was like, this movie only works in my head if it's Bill Murray.

I can't think of anybody else.

I wrote it and he's like famously the hardest guy to get a hold of.

Hey, you can't even get him.

Yeah.

I knew him a little bit socially.

I had his number.

I call him.

He answers the phone.

I said, hey, I have a script that I wrote.

You know, I said hello, whatever, and we talked for a minute.

And I said, I was calling him because I wrote the script and I think he'd be great.

And he's like, well, that's wonderful.

You know, mail it to my house.

Very old school.

He's like, print it out, send it to my house.

So I sent it to him.

He calls me like a couple of weeks later.

He's like, yeah,

I like this.

Can you send me the book?

I sent him the book.

He was really into the book as well.

And we eventually set it up.

Seth Rogan plays his son.

Kiki Palmer is playing Seth's wife.

And we shot for like three weeks.

And then

something happened on set where

Bill was inappropriate with someone that was working on the film.

Oh, I remember something about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And was it real or was it fabricated?

Who knows?

I mean, something really happened.

Okay, so something occurred and people felt their ways about it, right?

Yeah, I don't want to get into it too much because it's not my story to tell.

So something happened on set.

You had to shut the movie down.

Yeah, he had a mask on, a COVID mask.

And

this is from what I understand.

He had a COVID mask on and he was trying to be funny and he was kissing this woman that he was friends with with the mask on, trying to be funny.

But this woman didn't like this and was upset.

And

eventually it turned into this whole thing and they shut the whole movie down.

No.

Yeah.

There's the Wikipedia page.

But

yes, this is what Bill said at the time.

I did something I thought was funny.

It wasn't taken that way.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

The company, movie Instagram wanted to do the right thing, so they wanted to check it all out.

Investigators, they stopped the production.

Yeah,

the whole movie shut down.

This says, and sorry, I shared that 75%.

It wasn't 75%.

We shot like half of it.

But anyway, I can't remember how we started on this, but that,

yeah, I'd love to finish that at some point, you know, if we can, because, you know, it was, it was, uh, it was very special.

But gosh, you know, that must have been, I must have been heartbreaking for everybody.

It was, but it was one of those things that was so crazy.

I don't think I ever fully processed it.

I mean, you want to know something crazy?

I remember the week it happened.

I was getting married that summer, and my friends had,

they wanted to plan some sort of bachelor party for you.

Not like a, I'm not like a, hey, let's go to the strip club kind of guy.

They were like, gonna, we were gonna go to restaurant and go to the spa or something like that.

Like a very silly kind of thing.

Sort of like a mathathon.

Yeah.

What's a math-a-thon?

Which is a good thing.

Is that a real thing, or did you just make up that word?

I don't know, but I could see for some reason.

You think that's what I'm into?

No, I'm not into math a thongs.

Wait, it's a real thing.

It's a fundraising event where you do math.

Wow.

Yeah, it is.

Zuckerberg was a math lead.

Andrew Wang was a mathlete.

No, Alexander Wang was a math lead.

A lot of those tech bros were mathletes, dude.

Alexander Wang, the fashion guy?

No, there's a new one.

A new Alexander Wang?

That guy died or something, I think.

I don't think he did.

This is a different guy.

Oh, this is a Gen Z billionaire.

This is Alexander without the E.

A.

Wang, they call him in the streets, boy.

Whoa, he's 28 years old.

In the tech trenches, deep in the motor.

Is this screen with the guy looking stuff up with you around all the time or just when you do the podcast?

That would be so great.

Because I'm the opposite of this.

I never look anything up.

You know, I don't, you know what my wife said to me yesterday?

I, you know, I don't have, I don't keep a smartphone on me.

I don't, I blocked all shit on the internet.

I don't really use the internet.

So sometimes I'll just ask my wife stuff the same way you're asking this guy.

And she's like,

you know, I'm not the internet.

I'm your wife.

Because

what I'm secretly asking without asking is like, can you look that up for me?

Because I can't look it up.

And she's like, I'm not the internet.

Dude, it was a dark moment.

You married.

You married just to have the internet.

I just,

I just needed to have a smartphone without having one.

So that's why I got married.

Dude.

She said that to me.

I'm not the internet.

She loves me very much.

We were just texting about how much we love each other.

It sounds like you, look, we believe all that.

It's tough, man.

It's tough.

I mean, I, I've, you know,

I've, I've gotten lost and had to call her and been like, hey, where,

where, where,

where are we?

I can't find a man.

Because I live in London and, you know, there's.

You live in London?

Yeah, most of the time I'm there because we met in London.

We live there.

And oh, your wife is

going to pull up the ex-girlfriend.

She's in some,

but anyway, we live in we live in London.

We met there.

And,

you know.

Does she speak Danish as well?

Yeah, she speaks Danish.

And I love languages, but Danish is pretty tough.

Isn't it?

It's tough.

Yeah.

Is it romantic?

Is it considered a romantic language?

Oh,

this is back to the donkey thing.

Okay.

So she said that, I was like, well, what's like a Danish term of affection?

Like, maybe we can use that.

And she said it was like skit.

And I was like, that sounds harsh.

That doesn't sound very sweet.

And we were somewhere where we saw a donkey and I said, what's the word for donkey?

And she said, Essel.

And she said, Essel?

Essel.

And

she said it was her first word and that she loved donkeys.

And I was like, Why don't we call each other that?

And so we started calling each other that.

Yes.

And now I have, you see that AE, that that's here on this chain, the AE.

And that's what led to us meet the little mini donkey in Nashville.

Where we are now.

Boom.

God damn it.

Essel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, you're my little Essel.

Yeah.

Exactly.

But yeah, it's pretty close.

Yeah.

That's, that's it.

Pretty close.

I mean, no, you said it right.

You're actually saying it better than I do.

You're doing the AE, the combined AE.

Yeah, that Danish is, you know, it's like, wait a second.

Now we're coming up with new letters.

You're combining the A and E.

You know, I can speak Italian.

Okay.

My family speaks Tummo.

It's an Indian language.

I can speak that a little bit.

Well, yeah,

but Danish is a tricky one.

Well, a lot of them are

cis and bi-gender now.

Some vowels are.

Like, there'll be a vowel that is trans now.

It's changing identity.

Yeah, it's like, what's the other one?

How do we even pronounce you, bro?

That's all we want.

Hey, we just want to show you respect.

Do it right.

Do whatever you want, but just tell, we just need to know how to use you in a word.

And some vowels now are like, I don't want to be in your fucking words or whatever.

And we're like, bitch, or sir, just be in the fucking word, dude.

You're a letter.

But that's where it's at now, man.

Dan, it's tough because we'll be there.

That's not a real thing.

which thing the isn't that oh with the circle elon's kid's name

i don't know hey so

you're saying it right that that's pretty good pronunciation no and whenever i whenever we're in denmark and i try to read a word i'll try to pronounce it right and it's just i just don't know the pronunciation rules i get everything wrong but wait how do we start talking oh because I use her as a phone.

Sometimes I'm walking around in London.

In London, there's a lot of maps on the street.

So if I get lost, I can find the map and kind of make my way.

But sometimes I'll like keep walking around hoping to run into one of these maps and I won't run into one.

And I have to call her and I'll have to be like, hey, I'm over here.

You got to tell me how to get to the tube station.

And I remember that even when I first came to LA, I don't know whenever you first came to LA, how long ago it was, but you know, there wasn't GPS and stuff.

GPS was like a fancy thing if they had it at all.

So I would like print out directions on MapQuest.

And I remember, you know, I would call my little brother.

My little brother was a few years younger than me.

He was still in South Carolina.

And I'd call him and be like, hey, man, I'm on Caesar Chavez.

How do I get back?

Because we didn't have the stuff.

When you came to LA, was it like that?

Yeah, dude.

People had maps, drawings.

You'd have a guy who had directions tattooed on his arm of how to get home if he was an alcoholic or whatever.

God.

Like, shit was definitely more primitive back then.

People would like just write on their dashboard how to get home.

Like, yeah, people had to remember.

Remember when you just remember.

You knew everybody's phone number.

Yeah, but also when somebody would give you directions, dude, and if you missed one of them or something and you were going to a party, you just drove around their neighborhood for an hour and then went home.

Like you would drive and roll your windows down and see if you heard a party from the backyard.

Yeah.

We were basically like a bunch of like.

Magellans, you know?

And it's strange to think there's there's people that grew up without knowing that at all and it really does seem nuts that we were able to be okay without it yeah you know well it's like do you imagine now it's like we're gonna be the airport and nobody's gonna go through tsa right because that's how oh i barely remember that like that you could go up to the gate and all that stuff you know all of my travel you know i started doing comedy

By the time I was touring and stuff and traveling all the time like we do that So you were already big touring when you started doing comedy or no?

No, no, no.

I'm saying like I didn't start traveling a bunch, you know, touring and doing all this stuff until after TSA and all these kind of things.

You know, I barely remember traveling.

I wasn't on that many, you know, I wasn't flying all the time like, you know, I do now.

So I barely remembered that time where like you could walk up to the gate, you know.

I might not even remember it actually.

Yeah, I mean, that all happened after 9-11.

So it was after 2001, you know?

Yeah, maybe a couple flights I'd taken probably, but yeah, dude.

Imagine if we went back to that now.

Would you think, say right now, you go to the airport, there's no TSA, would you trust everyone enough to be like, okay,

we're all going to fly home together, guys.

Does everybody promise they're not going to cause any problems?

I mean,

I don't know.

It'd be, it's, it's, it's wild times right now.

I don't know.

And they would ask you twice.

I mean, I was in the airport these past couple of days and, you know, the government's been shut down.

Those people, they're working for free.

Like the guy was like, hey, just so you know, guys, we're working for free.

And I was like, Oh my God,

that's unbelievable.

It's wild.

Yeah, the government's just turned into like a shitty vehicle.

It's like every now and then it just fucking shuts down or whatever.

Dude, I mean, you got to understand for me to like be in London and read about all the stuff happening here and then come here.

Like, I was in Chicago yesterday, and my friends were like, Wow, time to be in Chicago.

I was like, What do you mean?

They're like, Oh, the National Guards, they're just grabbing Mexican people.

I was like, What?

What?

When did that happen?

I'm just over here trying to tell people about good fortune.

And they're like, oh,

they're grabbing Mexican people.

And the National Guard's there.

And

TSA.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What are you?

You getting on a plane later to fly to Nashville?

Oh, yeah.

The government shut down.

Like, most of the air traffic people went home.

Oh, great.

Thanks.

Yeah, it's okay.

I'm going to fly to Nashville and then get on another plane back to New York same day.

Cool weekend to be on all these planes.

Yeah, it's just the bad news bears of TSA right now.

You got all the people that are like down to come and work in for free.

Yeah, dude.

You have just like the militant guy.

You have the guy who's been waiting to get in the game, like wait, like no training, but just fucking waiting to get in.

I'm flying back today.

This is going to be a really dark last interview snippet.

And here's the clipper Aziz predicts.

Oh my God, bro, that's so hilarious that there's like backup of everybody's backup right now.

Like the park wardens are like bro welcome to the fucking park bro it's like it's just like the second string dude he's like dude the owls are fucking

monumental right now bro we take all these people for granted that's so true huh well the the the raids and stuff like that are crazy because

We they let so many people into the country, right?

Like without having a pattern of like, this is an organized way to do something, right?

Because I think they need to organize it.

It needs to be organized, right?

Because it's odd if people are here that they live in fear that they're always going to be like, they, you know, found out or something.

And then it's odd that people are, that there's nefarious people here that don't want to be found out, you know?

So I think like they need

some organization of it.

But yeah, the fact that it gets like where people are being.

ripped out of places.

And then you don't know also some of these days, I really believe you don't know what's real and what's not when you see it sometimes.

Like it could literally literally be a scene that was put together, like some of like the Antifa stuff you would see in the park during the pandemic.

I watched that movie.

You see one battle after another.

It's good.

It's amazing, but

it's crazy because, you know, he wrote that movie a long time ago.

And

it's like I was in Chicago and I was like, damn, this is one battle after another.

Because, you know, in the movie,

it's very much like

a military state.

And like the military is just, you know, around going and doing this kind of stuff.

And it's kind of wild.

The dude, you know, he's supposedly been working on the movie for like 15 years or something.

Wow.

And it's, it's out now when this stuff is,

you know,

so top of mind.

It's so, so in there, you know?

Yeah, Eddington was really great.

You see Eddington?

I didn't see Eddington, but I've heard it's, it's kind of they're, they're dealing with similar stuff.

I need to see that.

Yeah, just a lot of things happening at once.

Um, but I believe we're headed to a

surveillance state.

You know, I believe that we're, that's why they're trying.

That happened like a long time ago.

I'm talking about the drones, bro.

I'm talking about drones in the sky surveillance, like that vibe.

Oh my God.

Like that's where we're heading.

Like, dude, the movie I want to see, this is how I think it ends.

Blacks versus drones, dude.

What?

That's how it ends, bro.

That is...

People are wondering, how does time, how does this all...

Where do Indian people fit in this?

Are we running?

We're just running the door.

Okay,

where do the Indians fit in this movie?

Okay, we need Kyrie Irving to move over to the...

Kyrie Irving.

You're just like, what's he okay?

Because he plays basketball.

No, I mean, I'm just thinking of a cool black guy.

But yeah, you're like, okay.

But dude, that's how it ends.

Like, I think you're, everybody's like, well, what's going on in society and like these different groups and people back and like, you know,

genocide, all this stuff going on.

And you're like, how does it all?

And I think it's Black First Drones.

I don't know.

It's gotta be.

For me, as someone that used to live here and now comes here occasionally for work, every time I come back, it just feels wild.

And it feels, I think it feels wilder to me because I think for people that are here, it's like, oh, they're slowly seeing it get crazy.

So they're not going from like one to 100 like I do.

Like, you know, my time in L.A., you know, I remember,

you know, just seeing the amount of tents and all that stuff,

you know, coming.

you know, going to LA and to New York after COVID, because during COVID, I was in London the whole time with my wife.

So coming back to both those cities after COVID, I was like, whoa.

Yeah, it's like a slipknot tailgate out there now.

You know,

it's fucking crazy.

You know, my wife loves slipknot.

You're lying.

My wife has a PhD in physics.

Or how?

She's a genius.

And she loves, it's like she had this emo phase.

And I, I, every now and then, I'll just, I, I, I'll just bring up that she loves my two favorite facts about my wife.

She's going to hate that I'm bringing this stuff up.

No, it's important.

One is that she loves slipknot.

And the other thing is that she was Little Miss Denmark.

That was a little competition for little kids when she was like five, six years old.

And she won two years in a row.

And then they stopped the contest.

No.

Because she kept winning.

God.

They shut it down.

They shut it down.

What?

They don't like somebody really stepping out of the night.

I think they were just like,

we shouldn't be doing these little pageants for these kids.

And my wife, she said, like, they would have a, you know, like, oh, you'd have the talent portion or whatever.

And, and she would be like, you know, doing her dance or whatever.

And they're like, all right, that's good.

And she's like, no, I'm not finished with my routine.

I don't mean to be an SO.

Yeah.

But I'm about to win this bitch for a third time, dude.

Holy shit.

She's like the Boston Celtics of those fucking Danish competitions.

Yeah.

And then she had her Ebo phase and got really into slip guy.

Rebelled against the pageant life.

you shut down a pageant queen like that where they can't even perform anymore that is a direct avenue to slipknot

corey understands how else do you even manage that sort of stress and strain

where are you gonna put those pirouettes bro you're gonna package those bitches and put them into a slipknot mosh pit You know, most fellas enter the room wiener first.

You know that.

Knock, knock, who's there?

Wiener, baby.

You know it.

And Blue Chew

is helping.

Blue Chew isn't just a tablet.

It's a cheat code for your crotch.

Stronger, harder, longer, lasting.

Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership.

Blue Chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex.

That's the truth.

And guys, it isn't just about performance.

It's about legacy or third legacy.

Give her group chat something to talk about.

You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up.

Bring.

Gank, gank, gank, cock.

Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bit of Blue Chew.

Discover your options at bluechew.com.

And we've got a special deal for our listeners.

As always, get your first month of Blue Chew free when you use promo code Theo at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping.

That's it.

Join Blue Chew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time.

Head to bluechew.com for details and safety info.

And big thanks to Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast.

In the past, I've struggled with wanting to invest.

You know, I just, I don't know enough.

You hear about this and this, this ETF or this stock or this, this choice or this fund or this bond.

It just, I just didn't know enough.

I didn't have the time to do it.

And I got kind of fearful, I guess you'd say.

Well, thankfully, Acorns makes it easy to start investing like an expert.

Even if you're an expert at something else other than investing.

That's right.

You don't need to be a finance whiz.

Acorns puts your money.

into an expert-built portfolio to make sure you're investing wisely, not wildly.

I even got my niece and nephew set up with this so they can learn how to grow their money with Acorns.

If I needed this, this is what I would use.

Right now, you can sign up and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns.

Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment.

Offer available at acorns.com/slash T-H-E-O.

That's A-C-O-R-N-S dot com slash Theo to get your $20 bonus investment today.

Paid non-client endorsement.

Compensation provides incentives to positively promote Acorns.

Tier 2 compensation provided.

Investing involves risk.

Acorns Advisors, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor.

View important disclosures, acorns.com/slash theo.

I didn't think we'd get into little Little Miss Denmark.

My wife's going to be thrilled.

Oh, that's awesome.

I'm glad that you found love out there, man.

Did you, were you good with the ladies growing up?

What was your energy like?

You know, I grew up in, it's weird because I grew up in South Carolina.

I remember every school like in the South kind of had an Indian guy.

Was it like that at your school or is there a big Indian group?

There's two, there's two versions of this.

There's like, oh, if you're in like Atlanta or something, there's like the Indian crew and they hang out.

And then there's what I grew up with, which is like just me.

And when I was little, I kind of forget this sometimes.

In like first and second grade, there was this Thai girl and her name was Tisha, which doesn't make sense.

That doesn't really sound like a Thai name, but her name was Tisha.

But they left.

It's kind of a black Thai.

It's affair.

Sounds like a black tie.

It sounds like a black tie affair.

She was Thai.

But they left.

And then it was just me as Indian.

And it's in the 80s.

And, you know, it's so interesting to look back.

I was thinking about this and I had a conversation with my mom a while ago that really like blew me away.

So first off,

you know, as soon as I tell people I grew up in South Carolina, they're always like, oh.

It must have been so racist, all this stuff.

And of course, there's moments where it wasn't nice.

Like people calling you almost N-word or something like that.

Oh, N-word, not almost.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah.

English people are nearsighted or whatever.

I don't.

That's crazy.

But

there was also, I feel like, you know, there was a time I was writing something and I asked my parents to just tell me, like, I didn't want to write stuff about people being racist to people.

I wanted to write something positive.

So I was like, tell me things you remember that were positive, like experiences you had, you know, being someone.

Because, you know, my parents are there in the 80s.

Yeah, it was different for sure.

They don't, people there didn't even know what Indian people were.

They didn't see them in the culture.

They didn't see nothing.

They didn't understand.

It looks like a black person that they didn't finish the job on or whatever.

Kind of.

No judgment.

Let's just make sure that quote is attributed to you.

But I think it's like...

Because sometimes you do see that Indian dude.

You're like, is this a black dude or an Indian?

But we're joking, but it is what people were saying.

They They had never seen Indian people before.

Yes, they were not in the media or anything.

And so, my experience, you know, I'm talking about the positive stuff.

First off, I skipped first and second grade.

I did first and second grade in one year.

So, people were like, people were like, oh my God, this genius little brown boy.

And, and so, I was like, I had, and I was in a small school.

There was like 30 kids in my class.

There's 8,000 people that live in my town.

Yeah.

But, you know, I was raised by my parents.

but uh, first grade's fucking easy, dude.

First grade is easy.

My dad would like show me.

The fact that it takes a whole year, you're like, what the fuck are we doing?

My dad would like write little math problems and stuff for me, so I was really advanced in like math and stuff.

So we need to go back and look at it.

Yeah, no, it's it's yeah, you should be able to teach your kid all that stuff before.

When you can eavesdrop, you can tap into like classrooms and watch it.

It's like, this is so fucking easy, dude.

I wish you had a ring camera in there and just be giving the kids the answers and shit.

But it's yellow.

If they had like one of those ring cameras you could talk in like a children's class or whatever.

I mean, back then, no ring camera.

Just had my dad teaching me stuff.

So by the time I was like halfway through first grade, they called my parents.

They're like, this is, you got to get him out of here.

He's, he's got to go up to second grade.

And so I went to second grade and that was like this big story in the school that some kid had skipped the grade.

Yeah, it's like when LeBron left the Miami.

It was exactly like LeBron.

I was like LeBron with like very elementary math problems.

Yeah.

LeBron.

Yes, exactly.

And,

but you know, when I was thinking back about my childhood and talking to my parents and,

you know, there was these two ladies that took care of us.

First off, I was talking to my mom and she's talking about how when she came to South Carolina, my dad had been in America.

He was in New Jersey doing his residency.

Then he went back to India, married my mom, and then they came to South Carolina where my dad moved because he applied for these jobs all over the country.

And in South Carolina, they didn't have a lot of the doctor he was.

He was a gastroenterologist.

So then they moved to South Carolina.

My mom comes to South Carolina.

Swim has never left India like this.

That's crazy.

She's in Bennettsville, South Carolina.

Not like, oh, you're in New York City.

No, Bennettsville, South Carolina.

And

my dad brings her home and then he has to go to work.

And I asked my mom, I was like, you know, what was that day like?

And she was like, and I put this in my show.

She said, oh, I just sat on the couch and I cried.

And I was like, oh my God, it's so dark.

It was like so much braver than I could be, you know.

I mean, this is no, there's no FaceTime, nothing, none of that.

You're really alone.

It was.

It's cable television.

Yeah, but I'm talking about like to have a connection with your family or anything.

There's no way to communicate.

You're just praying and like lighting candles and putting those oranges in that little thing.

There's no,

even like making a long-distance call was a different thing back then.

It's like $11.

Yeah, it was not the way it is now where you could, you know, so she was really alone, but she used to go and do laundry all the time to just be around other people.

And there was some lady there,

an older white lady that recognized that, you know, became, saw her with me

and

became friendly with her.

And they called her grandma.

I don't know the woman's real name actually.

And I called her grandma.

And she would take care of me and like kind of looked out for our family.

And she eventually,

I think she moved or something or whatever, but she

couldn't take care of us anymore.

And this woman,

who we called Nana, is what her grandkids called her.

She started taking care of us.

And then there was this woman named Miss Beulah who would take care of us after school.

She had some tits on her, I bet.

Miss Beulah, rest in peace.

I'm not trying to copy my dad.

I didn't know that.

Let's not copy.

But Miss Beulah, as you might guess from the name Beulah,

black woman from the south and would cook the meanest southern food for us.

So I would eat Indian food and and southern food.

And,

and so, Nana and Miss Bueller are part of my life.

And,

you know, I uh

I had a sister that passed away, and she was a few years younger than me.

And she had a very rare,

she had a um, something called Hurler syndrome.

It's a super rare um liver disease.

Sorry, uh, it's obviously a little heavy for me, but

um,

so she passed away.

What's her name?

Her name is Nafis.

Nafis.

That's a pretty name, huh?

Yeah.

And she passed away.

And

Nana,

Nana passed away a few years ago when I was in college.

It was a while ago now.

And,

you know, I didn't get a chance to pry.

Miss Buell, I got to say a proper goodbye to.

I went and saw her when she was staying in retirement home.

nana i didn't have that same moment i was in college and and it wasn't uh the same kind of thing where i had that opportunity to say bye

um

but my mom had told me that she went to go see

um

uh visit my sister at cemetery and and you know we're my sister's buried in in in south carolina in in bennettsville and you know that is a tricky thing because my family's from a muslim background and they wanted to to do,

they were asked in the cemetery, can we do the things we do for our culture?

And the cemetery was like, yeah, of course, whatever you need to do,

which is just so cool to me that

they were open to that and the whole community, you know, were visiting our family and everything.

And

I remember even like a priest came by to just, you know, even though we were a different religion, he came and like wanted to talk to us and stuff.

And

everyone was just so kind about about it and and um

my mom told me that she went to go

see uh

my sister at the cemetery and she said oh and we saw nana too i was like what do you mean she's like well nana's buried right next to her no

and i just

i like melted as a human because i i i did not know that

and and to me like i heard that and and i was like wow like you know i was saying all this stuff about crazy this country is and how crazy it feels right now.

But that story, that doesn't happen anywhere else in the world, man.

Like those two people, my sister

and this woman

that befriended you guys.

Yeah.

Have that close a bond where she's like, I don't want to be buried next to her.

I mean,

it was.

Wow.

I did not know that.

And, and, and, you know, I, I, I heard that and I was like,

I, I, I don't know why it popped in my head, but I'm so glad it did.

And then I got to share that with you because I heard that story and I was like, man, people need to hear that story because it's not the story people want to tell.

It's not the story that the media wants to tell.

It's not a story that.

It's a story that doesn't really get the clicks.

But it's the story that's probably

it's the truth that most people

that the human part of us is what makes us special.

And that's the part that we should all try and lean into the most is that we're this special thing that can care about each other, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, the fact that

these people saw my parents and

tried to forge this bond with them.

And I mean,

I hope we're still a place where that kind of stuff can happen.

I think it happens a lot.

I think you're just right.

I think it's not the, like, the new, it's not the news, you know, but I think it is more common probably than we think.

Thanks for sharing that, dude.

It is an important story.

That's a great story.

Oof.

Sorry.

Did your sister have it the whole time when she was growing up, when she was from birth?

Yeah, it was one of these things where, you know, the life expectancy with that

hurlers is not

very long.

She passed when she was like six, eight years old.

Oh.

Yeah.

And was she,

and it's one of these things,

I don't really talk about it very much.

And a lot of people even that know me don't know I had a sister because people would ask me like, oh, do you have any siblings?

And I'd be like, oh, yeah, I got a little brother.

And I had a sister that passed away.

And I would say it like that.

And then people are like, oh,

like it's a very like heavy thing to hear all of a sudden.

And so I was like, oh, I don't want to make people uncomfortable.

So I'll just say, oh, I have a little brother.

And then they'll be like, what's you guys' gap?

Oh, he's seven years younger.

Wow, it's a big gap.

Yeah, I'm going to not go down this thing because I don't want to bum everybody out because we're all just hanging out.

That chick plays sitting there tapping her foot, like, what are we doing here?

No, dude, that's um, my sister was born with a rare liver disease, and she had to get a liver transplant when we were kids.

Oh, wow.

So, we spent most of our childhood, like, um,

you know, she was always this thing that we couldn't touch because she always had to have these surgeries and stuff.

So, I think it just reminds me, like, a lot of that.

I think some of that kind of stuff.

Oh, man.

That stuff.

You know, I think it's just interesting when you grow up with a sibling that's sick because I think it, I never even thought about it to you were saying some of this.

It just like,

I don't know, you have to adjust yourself, I think, to try and maybe

like my sister got most of the care, right?

But she needed most of it.

So it was weird.

So there were times where I'd be like, I don't, you know, later on in life, I'd be like, oh, I didn't get this care, but it was like, I didn't need it the most, you know.

What was you guys's age difference?

Um, two years.

And she's still alive.

She ended up getting a liver transplant.

She got one of the first liver transplants in um we moved to arizona she got it out there and but um that's incredible but it was just this whole time when she was a kid she was always being flown off to these places and they sounded magical like rochester minnesota just different places where there's these big hospitals and she'd come back like this like

almost like this bilde bear that somebody done a shitty job with you know what i'm saying like just all these scars and stuff but it was just she was always this it was weird because you like couldn't hold it she was just like it was interesting did you have any experience like that with your sister or what was it like There wasn't that kind of,

there wasn't like all these things to try because

the hurlers is pretty, they don't really have a thing.

You know, there's like, you know, oh, you can maybe do a bone trans, bone marrow transplant, but it was, it's not really a thing they've made much progress on.

So there was never anything like that.

And I don't know, it's interesting talking to you about this because you think about,

oh,

it's like when you're a kid

it's it's so hard to understand what's happening you have no frame of reference and you know when i look back on that stuff as as an adult i i can't imagine how hard it was for my parents like oh yeah you know to to to to have a child that has something like that and then to to lose a child is it's it's uh you know i i can't

it's strange to like step outside of yourself and honestly this is like some of the most i've talked about it

with anybody.

And I don't mean to pry about it.

It's just.

And it's also a thing in the, no, not at all.

I don't think prying at all.

And I think it's really interesting that, you know, you had something, your sister had something as well.

And,

but, you know, there's a thing with like Indian families and, you know, maybe it's, it's a lot of families in that time.

It's like, you don't talk about stuff.

Oh, really?

Is that like an Indian thing kind of?

I think there's something of like, oh, you're not as open about your feelings and stuff.

And you're just a little bit more closed off.

I think so.

Yeah, with Asian families, Indian families, I think with emotional stuff like that, you know?

But you guys do reincarnation, so you can, you're probably just like, oh, we can have the feelings later.

We can have this.

That's in Hinduism.

That's a different thing.

Oh, really?

Fuck.

Yeah.

So you guys are one-time only?

Islam, it's the same as Christianity.

It's, you know, in terms of that stuff.

As far as I know, I'm not a super religious guy, but yes, that's

there's the reincarnation is just in Hindu culture.

Dang.

So you guys are one and done, huh?

I mean,

so is a lot of people.

Okay.

I'm saying.

Yeah.

But yeah.

Man, this got really, we really went for a heavy turn after micro donkeys.

This is, you're teared up over here.

I'm tearing up.

But

it's good to talk about this stuff.

And,

you know,

it's so strange to think back about,

you know, those times.

And

everything my family went through, especially my parents, you know, I never think about that.

I always think about things.

This is one place that I kind of like struggle with.

I think a lot of times I'll think about certain periods and things that happened and I'll only think about it like as to how it affected me.

And it's like, man, to get into that place of where you're even thinking like, well, how did this affect my parents?

Like I was eating dinner with some friends yesterday.

And in the background, she has like these four kids and they're beautiful kids.

They have the cutest kids.

And they're all going haywire.

And I, there was the first time I thought, holy shit, my mom had four kids and nobody to fucking help.

Like there was, and it was, can you imagine what that would be like these days?

That sounds impossible.

Impossible.

And our parents were able to do that kind of stuff.

But it was the first time that I had like even had a perspective moment like that that was that clear, you know?

Oh, yeah.

I just, just.

So for you to have that, I think is pretty cool that you think like, oh, how, what my parents must have went through, you know?

know because it's like yeah it's like for us it's a sibling for but for them it's like you know it's probably something that feels far greater you know

yeah

anyway i didn't mean to delve into that man no no i i'm glad we did and i i think it's a really interesting thing to talk about and and and for me i i you know um i bet you'd be so proud of you

um

you know who i think about sometimes is there is do you know the comic strip

comic strip live in in new york oh yeah yeah

You know that club?

Yep.

That was the first club I ever got passed at.

And there was a guy, his name was Lucian Hold.

And he was the guy that would pass you.

You know, you've heard of like Esti at the seller.

He was like Esti at the seller.

He was the guy.

Yeah, there's always that person.

There's always a person that was a gatekeeper.

And I went in there when I was like 18.

And what was cool about the comic strip was

they had a thing where anybody could audition.

Like you just lined up and then you could audition.

And

which is like, because, you know, I don't know if this was your experience when you're starting out, but it's like, you just wanted a shot, right?

Oh, yeah.

You just wanted a shot.

And the idea that you could be a regular at the comedy.

I remember I used to go to the comedy seller and I'd just be like, oh my God, could you imagine just getting spots here?

Could you imagine just how amazing it would be to get spots?

That was my dream.

I know.

You're so right.

And so I went to the comic strip.

They had this, you know, open call, like you just had to wait in line and then you'd pick from a,

I believe what would would do is you'd pick from a lottery and it would give you a date a date yeah like a month they would do on Mondays they'd have a certain number of people that were from this audition that's cool so I picked a date and then I showed up and you went through this one woman and if she said okay you can see Lucian you'd audition for Lucian and so I got through it and then I um I auditioned for Lucian

And, you know, you wait around, you wait around.

All these kind of things.

Even like SNL, you hear these stories of people like, yeah, you didn't just wait around.

They just make you wait around.

And then he spoke to me at the end and he was like, he was like, you could start working at the club.

And I was like, oh.

And

I was terrible.

I was not good.

But I was like very young and I was very comfortable on stage.

And he told me, he was like, you know, when people your age come in here, he's like, you're still at NYU, right?

And I was like, yeah, yeah.

He said, you know, Adam Sandler was in NYU when I passed him.

And so was Sarah Silverman.

And I was like, oh, wow.

I mean, I remember I said, oh, wow, it'd be amazing if I had a career like that.

He's like, I don't know if that's in the cards for you, but you could, he was, he was like the most straight shooting guy.

I mean, there's very few people that are honest like that that I've met in my 20-something years.

He was a guy that was like that.

And he was like, I don't know if that's, it's not an impression of him, but he was like,

I don't know if that's something that's in the cards for you, but you could start working in the club and

I would do

you would do like late night, which is like

they'd have the show and then you could sign up to go on at the end of the show.

So there'd be like nobody there.

I do that all the time.

Sure, but getting up on stage, even just as

walking up, when you're coming up,

if there's six people there, it feels like a million people.

You're so excited.

The feeling that is the energy that

the fear and that energy and that nervous, it feels like a million.

And sometimes, I mean, and I'll say this, and you're going to light up because you'll know this feeling.

Sometimes someone on the bill, like that was supposed to be on at like nine o'clock, wouldn't show up and they'd pull someone from late night.

And so you'd get to go on when people were still there.

Still there, yes.

And I remember one time.

Like, I'm going to show these bitches.

That's what I would say.

I had kind of an aggressive nature, but go on.

Yeah, but it was like this kind of like, oh, I'm going to get to prove myself a little bit.

But,

oh, one time I remember Chris Rock dropped in and I

went on after him

and like everybody was, everyone's like, oh, Chris Rock just went on.

They just all started leaving.

And I told Chris the story the other day.

I was like, I forgot this.

I forgot.

I mean, and now he's my fucking friend.

It's the craziest thing in the world to me.

But Lucian, he had a disease called skeleterma.

I don't know why I'm saying the disease he had, but anyway, he passed.

It's like a skin problem.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what it is exactly.

Skeloderma.

And this dude stopped looking up stuff because it's gotten too dark.

The stuff we're talking about.

He's like, I'm not going to pull up this stuff on Wikipedia.

It's too dark.

He's like, oh, I don't think it's appropriate.

I'm not going to.

I'm just going to let this be.

I'll wait till they start talking about mini cows again.

I can pull up those cute pictures.

He has like a whole, he has a whole barrel full of.

You know, maybe I do bring it up because if someone wants to donate to his fund or whatever, so Lucian had this disease and we knew he was passing away.

And I went and visited him.

And it was like that movie Being Mortal.

You know, it was like, I knew he was passing away.

I knew this was probably our last conversation.

And

he, and dude, this dude passed away.

You know, Chris spoke at his funeral.

I think Seinfeld may have said something.

I can't remember.

I remember I went to the funeral and I was like a little kid.

I remember I like went and like was crying in the bathroom and stuff because this dude was the first dude ever.

to genuinely believe that I could do something in our world.

The first person to say, hey, I'm going to give you, you know, it's like fucking 10 bucks or whatever.

But he was like, I believe in the idea of paying you to tell jokes.

And

he, um, we had that conversation and

I remember he said something to me and he talked about some comic that he used to know that went to L.A.

and

not like a super successful guy, but a guy that did okay.

And he was like, you know, he said, this guy told him.

that he was in LA and he said that, that's Lucian.

Yes, that's Lucian.

Yeah.

but all I mean he's he's like you know if you talk to guys like they love him yeah and they remember him from back in the day like he's a character he he he's the guy that passed you know Eddie Murphy and like the famous story of Chris Rock is like Eddie Murphy was at the club

and he asked Lucian do you have any do you have any uh black comics and uh he said yeah I got one I'll put him up if you'll watch him and it was Chris Rock Wow and then Eddie Murphy watched him and then then put him in Beverly Hills Cop 2.

But anyway.

Dude, that's so great, though.

It was, it's a huge deal.

It's a huge amount of validation because it's, it's,

I, I can't really explain.

It's still like, when I think of all the things I've done in my career, it's still,

I was excited as about that.

I mean, dude, I, it was like, I think it was like 10 years ago.

I did Madison Square Garden.

I,

it was a similar feeling to get past.

Yeah.

You know?

And, um, but anyway, told me this story about some guy in L.A.

And he said, that guy told him, like, you know, there's all these

idiots in L.A.

and, and, and if, if they're able to do it, I can do it too.

Something to that extent.

Like, and uh, it was a more, said it more eloquent than that.

I'm not doing it justice, but he basically said to me, you're going to be okay.

And he left me with that.

And it was really cool.

Lucian did?

Yeah.

He said, you're going to be okay.

Like, you're a smart guy and you're going to be okay.

And,

I mean, I've been fortunate enough and I think I'm, I mean, that was when I was a little kid.

You know, I hadn't done anything really.

And, you know,

I feel like I've been fortunate enough in my career to be

more than okay

and done a lot of great things I never would have thought possible when I was, you know, interacting with Lucian.

And,

you know, one of my

not regrets or I don't know,

just one of my, oh man, kind of feelings is that, like, oh, this guy that was the first guy to believe in me to see me, yeah, didn't get to see that how far I really went, you know, and weird.

Sorry, I feel like I'm like taking up too much of your time.

No, this is good.

Well, you're a great storyteller, I'm realizing.

That's honestly one thing I've realized sitting here,

and I can see why you're able to do what you do even more, like writing your movies and knowing, like, yeah, saying how streamlined it is.

I'm enjoying it.

So, go on.

Sorry.

You know,

I was in a cab one time in London and I was like,

it's weird because once you become successful,

it's weird when you drop into a comedy club, everyone goes nuts and everything's a little sweeter because they're excited because you're famous.

And

I was in a cab with my wife in London and someone was like, tell us about this thing or whatever.

And I

talked about this whole story of something that happened to us.

And when I left, the cab driver said, hey,

you're a really good storyteller.

And I was like, holy shit.

That was like winning an Emmy for me.

Because I was like, that guy has no clue who I am.

And

he went out of his way to tell me that.

That made me feel really good.

Was he an Indian guy?

No.

Why would he be Indian, Theo?

Racism.

He was like a black guy that was fully finished.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

He was a fully finished black guy.

He was a black guy.

I love, I mean, I love Ray stuff.

It's fun to joke about and think about because it's so different and it's fun, you know?

That's the funniest stuff.

But that's a, you're right, man.

It's sorry.

But yes, somebody telling you a great storyteller.

It's so funny.

It's sometimes it's that one word or one thing.

It's like.

And you get it from someone that doesn't know anything because sometimes you feel like, oh, man, like not like, oh, people.

You feel like, I don't know how much of this is sweetened up because of whatever.

And it's very frustrating because I don't think anyone that's successful like that wants any of that.

But, you

you get a little bit of that when you drop in and you're working on material.

And, you know, when you're on stage for a while, eventually.

I don't know if it's like good.

That's the worst part.

You're like, is this even good?

And you're like, are you just getting unfair reactions?

But then hopefully, if you're self-aware enough and that judge inside of you, that little party that's always hated you is still like in lurking.

You got to have that guy in there.

That guy needs to be there.

That guy needs to be there.

And if he's there, you know, because, you know, all your people, oh man, it's your best hour.

It's like,

it's getting there.

Right.

You got to have that little guy.

and you got to have that little guy and look that's that's you know

whether it's a movie or stand-up show like you know screening a movie it's like yeah people don't lie eventually like they'll they'll be sweet for a little bit but eventually they are like all right come on you know they that drops after a few minutes yeah and if you start smoking your own bullshit too that's when it can get really spooky oh that's that's when you got to make sure you you know i i've i've been around people enough to be like oh that when you start having a bunch of people around you that tell you you're awesome that's when the everything starts falling apart but have you ever had ego problems you ever had anything like that like are you ever able to check your own ego kind of type of things because ego is so dangerous because it can kind of grow in the distance it's almost like something that you don't see growing it's almost like you're standing there with your shadow and then your shadow gets bigger without you noticing it you know

you know i think

I think the way I hopefully have been able to avoid that kind of problem is is

I'm not around all the time.

You know what I mean?

I kind of go away in a hole and work on stuff.

This is like the most shit I've done.

I haven't been on your podcast.

I haven't been on anybody's podcast.

I haven't done anything.

I've just been working.

And, you know, being back out in

kind of

in the kind of press world, it's been kind of a little overwhelming for me.

I get very overwhelmed.

Whenever I finished like season one and two of my show, like whenever it came on Netflix, like I left the country because I was just a little bit, it was just too much for me.

Like I went to, uh, I went to Japan for a couple of months because, like, I was like, really, for months?

Did you see Kanye or not?

He wasn't there at the time, but you know, I, I, I wanted to be somewhere where people didn't really know who I was.

It was, it felt a bit, it can be a little overwhelming.

Like that, that part of our jobs, of, of red carpets and interviews, it, it's a lot.

Yeah, I never done a lot of that stuff.

So, I, yeah, that part I don't know about, but I can imagine.

But, you know,

I'm here and I've been doing all stuff.

I love doing this because we're just having a great conversation.

Not everything is this fun,

but you know, I do it because I feel like it's a part of the job and I got to support the work and the studio that paid for the movie and everything.

So I do it, but it's not my, I like the work.

I mean, all I'm looking forward to is getting back.

on

getting back to work like doing like being on set with some people and and and being like hey do this or you know i'm i'm going back on the road for a little bit like being on the road like that that is a billion times more fun um than some of the stuff you have to do excluding like this and i i actually like that podcast are a thing now because i did amy polar's podcast and that was so fun so great she's great i hadn't seen her in a while and i was like oh man i'm just excited to like be with you for an hour and change because i hadn't seen you in so long but yeah dude thanks for making me think about

We had a guy named Tommy at the comedy store and I and he was like the guy and he's like this character.

I've heard his name.

Yeah, yeah.

And people impersonated him all the time.

And he really was.

He had this long hair, and he looked like a rock and roll guy.

And I believe he was.

I think he also played in a band.

And he made jellies and jams.

And he would bring those.

He was this very eccentric type of guy.

Yeah, yeah.

But he took care of Mitzi, sure.

But he would be the guy, and he'd sit there, and he'd open little curtains of the little Will Call booth.

It had little curtains on it.

And he'd be like, you're doing good.

But I happened to, I went to the comedy store one time.

I was trying to find out how do they do signups.

I remember.

And I was buying a beer on the porch.

And he thought i was somebody else he's like haven't seen you around here in a while you know we miss you coming around and uh

i was like yeah i

and he goes why don't you come in come back in on sunday man i'm gonna i want to i want to see you back up there and he had me confused with whoa did you do the other spot yeah

did you put your name down or i know i just i i didn't even think about that and i just kept fucking doing this and how'd your set go and it went good enough where i got got to keep going.

But it was,

but before that, for sure, I went and signed up and waited outside.

And there's like a guy that's practicing juggling who can't even talk.

And he's like telling his jokes through like bowling pins and shit.

It's like, there's all types of stuff.

There's somebody training a bird or whatever, and he's like barely trained it.

And he's like trying to train it really fast in the parking lot.

It's like you cannot train a bird really fast.

But this is the same thing I was talking about earlier.

It's so interesting to me that, you know, comedy comedians, we're all having, you know, this is a crazy moment to be a comedian and people are having such overwhelming amounts of success.

But at the end of the day, like

all of us started just wanting a room full of people, just a crowd, and to be able to perform.

Yeah.

Well, you know, one thing that was great about Good Fortune, dude, and I haven't finished it, but I really, I like it and I'm excited to see the end of it.

It's not that long a movie, by the way.

But I didn't get home last night until probably 11.30.

No, I'm just saying for people that are worried that if you're not going to be able to do it,

it's an hour and a half movie.

But it's good, dude.

There were so many, like, start, there started to be some really good plot changes for me that I really dug, like right around the spot where I'm at,

where the, you think it's going to go one way and now it starts to change up.

And then I don't want to give too much of it away.

But one thing that was really amazing about it, and my friend was watching it with me,

was that you felt of how tough it is that first year or two in LA.

You felt of like, like when your character is sleeping in his car, right?

Or like when there's DoorDash delivery and just like the jobs you get when you first get to a big city to try to survive, the parking tickets and how you lose your car.

You just come out of a place you barely had enough money to go get some avocados.

It was the one thing you were treating yourself to this week.

It was like two avocados.

I'm going to cut those bitches up and I'm going to eat those bitches, right?

And then I'm going to go to sleep, right?

You were so excited and you come out and your fucking car has been towed because you didn't pay tickets.

All that shit, dude.

My friend and I slept in the McDonald's ball pit.

We would jump the fence and sleep in that fucking ball pit because it was like kind of some more space to lay out, right?

Like if you got under the balls, there's hair in there, there's coins under there, but it is, there's a little bit more room for your body than like, because we tried to sleep in his car one night and it was just a nightmare.

But going through all of that, yeah, and there is the hair goes to the bottom, which I don't understand how that works.

That's science.

But,

and yeah, they should do a sh they should see what's in the bottom of a lot of these.

It's not good.

But yeah, we would jump over the fence and sleep in one that, you know, that closed at 10.

We'd get in and just get five hours of sleep or something, you know?

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

I could relate.

No, it was awesome.

It was fucking great stories.

One night we're in there, dude.

We're talking shit to each other, laughing and stuff.

And a fucking Asian guy's on the slide.

He's asleep.

He's on the slide.

He probably's very, very exposed.

No,

like in one of those high slides where there was room where you could kind of get,

you know, it was encompassed.

He was in the best spot.

Oh, my God.

Yes, he was in one of the tubes.

Oh, damn.

That's better than the ball pit.

That's a pro move.

Yeah, and he even came up to the window.

It was like a little hamster showing up.

Pretty fucking dope.

But dude, that was like, but I forget, you forget about all the pieces of the things and the moments that like were so big.

And that was in L.A.?

And that was in L.A.

And I think we all.

John McDonald's in L.A.

It's on Wilshire Boulevard.

Like Wilshire.

Does that that Asian guy have a podcast now, too?

I hope he does.

I think it's Ronnie Chang.

You know,

I was doing one of those shows at the comic seller where people don't know who's going to show up.

It was like, surprise headliner.

And it's just me working on stuff.

And I walk by the line and some lady goes,

I hope it's not Ronnie Chang.

Oh, really?

Yeah, but then I found out that it's because she'd been to another one of these and it was Ronnie Chang.

we talked about it at the show, but it wasn't because she doesn't like all love to Ronnie Chang.

I love Ronnie Chang.

I just got to see him last week.

I bumped into him.

I went into the

comedy cellar.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Just stopped in.

He was in there.

It was awesome, dude.

Just to get to see him.

He is great.

But I just got some great specials, too.

If

you haven't seen him, I get to get him to come in and talk sometime.

Yeah, no, he's great, but I just thought it was funny to walk by and hear that.

That's so funny, dude.

Yeah.

But yeah, that's one thing I loved about Good Fortune.

You and Seth Rogan are just, you guys are buddies, I guess it is.

We'd spoke about this movie.

And, you know, if anyone listening is going to see the movie, please, you know, see it in a theater with the crowd because we were talking about these movies.

I think it's worth it for sure.

It definitely felt like a real movie to me.

It didn't feel like some forced shit, you know?

I know like they're like, you know, sometimes you get these movies and it's like...

You know,

shit feels forced or too fake or like it's not real.

I didn't feel any of that.

I didn't feel like any pandering for some like social causes or any shit.

I was just trying to be very real

and very funny.

It's good, dude.

I'm fucking excited about finishing it.

Oh, because your character starts to get like, what the fuck?

I thought he was great.

And then he's like, but you see the different parts of us that can come out and come to the surface when different things like are attached to us.

Yeah.

But when we were making the movie, Seth and I would talk about like, you know, how we'd go to movie theaters and see movies like Anchorman or Super Bat or, you know, Pineapple Express.

And

you'd have like a room.

It'd be like a stand-up show, you know, like a room full of people erupting.

And, you know, it's like what we feel when you do stand-up.

Like if we did stand-up and there was only like one person in the crowd, that's not the same thing.

Like the people make a difference.

So like seeing a movie, a comedy in theaters, it's something that's kind of gone away after the pandemic and everything.

And

I hope we can bring it back.

I mean, we were just in Chicago last night and we screened the movie.

We've been doing these like little secret screenings and I've been sitting in a little bit and watching it.

And I'm like, I don't even remember the last time I've been in a packed theater watching a comedy.

So I hope the movie works and that people get to make more comedies and they get to see them in theaters because, you know, it's something that I miss.

And yeah, I mean, especially because our movie is like an original movie,

a comedy, theatrical.

It's tough to get it done.

I mean, I really, I'm not even lying or joking or pandering to you or to our

fans.

I wouldn't say that.

I think it's worth going to see.

I think if you took a date or a friend or your buddy, you guys would have a good time.

It would be worth your money.

It'd be worth driving over there and sitting in there.

So far, and I'm not even done with it unless it gets really bad.

No, no.

The back ass, oh man, the back ass great.

We'd have to talk about it afterwards because it really relates to a lot of the things, some of the stuff we were talking about earlier, some of the emotional things we were talking about in terms of just kind of seeing other people and seeing what they're going through and just kind of giving them a look.

You know,

I was thinking about that when my mom was telling me that story, but yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was a great story, man.

Do you feel like, why do you feel like you have to do so much?

Because this is something I've struggled with in my own life.

Like, I think I need to have a kid or something because I feel like as I've gotten older, you know, I do things like, oh yeah, you know, I was.

You're so prolific.

You've done so many TV shows.

You've written.

You've directed.

You've won.

Haven't you won an Emmy before?

Yeah, one, two Emmys.

Damn, brother.

Gang.

Yeah.

But I'm just saying, like, and sorry, I don't know.

I don't know a lot about that.

Oh, it's fine.

But,

but

doing too much.

Why do you have, do you, do you ever know why you feel like you because some people

they could do half of that and feel extremely accomplished and they would be but do you feel like is it is it financial which is fine it's definitely nice to have money and to have security is it like is there something that you find because it's not financial because doing movies I you know I I technically would make way more money touring

like losing money doing these movies

like try to make a movie for theaters.

It's kind of like trying to be like hey I want to build a tower of records.

Good luck, Aziz.

It's not what's the lucrative thing.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's interesting because I, I, my like heyday of touring and everything was probably, you know, 10 years ago when I did

the garden and all that stuff.

I was touring like crazy.

And back in that time, not many people were doing theaters and arenas.

Like, there was only a few people.

And now it's like, fucking everybody does.

And when I go on tour, I'm like, who the fuck?

Who's Alton Brown, the chef?

He's playing the D-PAC Center in Durham.

He's just chopping food up and people are coming.

Everybody's on tour, dude.

There'll be a dude Julianing a carrot for 11,000 people.

Yes.

And you're like, what?

Dude, is it cake?

That TV show, Is It Cake, is going on tour.

I'm like, yes.

Who gives a fuck?

Is it cake tour?

And you're like, wait, that's what I'm competing with.

People in the stands with binoculars trying to figure out if it's a tourist.

It was not like this.

At 70 yards.

It's ridiculous.

It's not yours.

It's not like this.

Members of its fondant.

It was not like this.

And in that time, there was a whole podcast boom.

Everybody found an audience.

You didn't, you cut out the middleman of Netflix or whatever.

People were putting stuff on YouTube.

But now all these people are touring and there's been this massive boom.

And I, during that time, made my TV series, worked on these movies, and have kind of

stepped away.

But you're coming back.

You're touring again.

Yeah, I'm touring again now.

And it's been so fun.

And I have,

I've had a great time, but I'm also like, damn, dude, the travel, it hits me in a different way.

And like, I'm, yeah, you see, October 23rd, I'm getting stressed.

I'm like, I

can't, I can't go to Temecula.

I gotta, I gotta cancel Temecula.

San Diego, oh, God.

Oh, Modesta, Monterey, oh, God.

At least I can hub out of LA.

Oh, no, then I gotta fly to Cincinnati on the 13th.

Oh, God.

Then we gotta fly to Louisville.

TSA is gonna be closed.

There's gonna be like one air traffic controller.

Then I'm probably gonna go down on my way to St.

Louis.

That's gonna be delayed oh indianapolis will be fun dude indianapolis then i go see my family in charlotte that's nice i love asheville asheville's a great great town and savannah is a great town savannah's beautiful too yeah that no i love the show and i love being in the different cities because you know when you tour you form a relationship with with these cities and you're happy oh you're excited to go back you're excited to see like oh look at this crowd this one's different this energy this place is yeah and and and what's so cool is is and i think this is why people like to go to live stand-up is like even if you're watching the special it's not the same as that show in that town and it's really fun and um you know for me like this tour it's been fun because i haven't toured in a while so it's a lot of stuff has happened you know i've been married we're me and my wife are trying to have a kid and to go back to the thing we were talking about of like doing too much like

the movies i feel like that comes from like i have an idea and i have this

vision of it sounds cheesy to say vision but i have a vision of something i want to execute and it's something i'm really excited about and i'm like racing to be on set to do like it could just be like i'm writing something down i have this one scene.

I'm like, oh man, I just want to shoot that scene.

I like think this would be so, I got to get there.

And it's a long time to get there.

Movies are so slow.

You got to work with so many other people.

It's a nightmare.

But I do it because I really love films and I want to make more films.

But I do think I've realized recently, like, I've got to calm down.

Like, I think I've overestimated my ability.

to work.

And

as I get older, you know, you get burned out.

You get stressed.

I've seen friends that are burned out.

Oh, dude.

You're looking at one of them.

We're not even friends, but you're looking at somebody that's been burnt out, but we could maybe be friends.

I mean, I hope so.

Dude, we went deep here.

This is deeper than I went on any other podcast.

We talked about some heavy stuff.

Yeah, in a great way.

I love it.

I mean,

I think this is so funny.

We talked about a lot of this stuff on here.

It's important, you know.

It's nice to like.

I really like it.

But no, that burnout feeling, it's like, oh, it's real.

I started shedding hair recently, dude.

We had a freaking retired Boston detective who has some of the craziest stories, found a wiener on the sidewalk, and it was like a real who done it or whatever.

Obviously, the person missing the wiener did it.

So it was pretty kind of an easy.

It wasn't like knives out.

Actually, it was like knives out.

It's a long story.

But

anyway, oh, shit, I forgot what I was talking about.

We were talking about like just the burnout.

Oh, yeah, the burnout is real.

It happens, dude.

Yeah, I started shedding hair, all that kind of stuff.

It's tough to say no, too, because, you know, you're having a moment right now, and I've had a moment, and, you know, people start telling you to do all this stuff.

And no one on your side of the business is going to be like, dude, you got to, you got to chill.

You got to take some rest.

No one ever says that.

Like, well, that's a great opportunity.

You should, you should do it.

And you're like, well, that's a great opportunity.

I should do it.

And when I was younger, I could do all that stuff.

When I look back at schedules and stuff I did, I'm like, how did I do all this?

I can't do it anymore at this age.

It's, it's a different thing.

And, and I'm married now.

It's like, I've been away from my wife a lot.

And it's, it's not, I don't feel nice about it sometimes.

And look, I have a suggestion to help you relax.

Go

watch Good Fortune.

Go with your wife.

I'm not even joking.

Go sit and watch it.

You'll like it.

You guys will laugh.

You'll get to spend some time together.

It's good.

I do know it's out October 17th.

I do want to remind everybody about that.

Yeah, thank you.

I feel lucky you get to be in London.

One of my favorite musicians, James Blake, lives over there.

Dermot Kennedy is a, is a, um, he's in the United Kingdom.

He's a guy that I really love

who

actually is coming in town soon.

Um, Yeah, I would love to get to live over there sometimes.

People feel very,

I mean, you probably feel this here too.

Like you're a little bit away from the circus.

Oh, yeah.

I feel totally good.

And the circus is dissolved.

The circus is a different thing.

You don't really need to be there anymore.

They're finding new places.

There's new mini-circuses popping up.

Yeah, yeah.

But then, but yeah, but is Nashville becoming a circus?

No, I don't think so.

Not too much.

It still feels kind of small.

There's a lot of people moving here and a lot of stuff going on, but it still feels pretty small.

No, I mean, I feel like that in London that I'm away from things.

Whenever I go back to LA, I start feeling like, oh my God, I'm falling behind.

I need to do this.

Cause you hear about it.

Oh, I've just made this.

I'm working on it.

I'm like, oh, shit, what am I doing?

I'm not doing anything.

You've done so much, dude.

I mean, from all, from television to,

I know you had that series I watched for Los on Netflix.

It was just

Master Nun.

Yeah, yeah.

The book that you wrote, I know about dating and like struggling of love.

Yeah.

You've done enough.

You've done.

Let me tell you this.

If nobody ever tells you, you've done enough.

No, but finishing the movie is a big deal.

And I'm glad I did it because it took a minute to get it done, and I'm really proud of it and proud of the work that I did,

my whole team did, all the actors did, and I'd love to make more.

But yeah, I definitely, I hear you, and

it's you've done a lot.

That's what I mean.

I didn't do enough.

I didn't mean to.

No, no, no, I know what you mean.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

And I think,

yeah, and your sister would be so proud of you.

What was her name again?

I want to say it more.

Nafis.

Nafis.

Oh, it's such a pretty name.

How do you spell it?

N-A-F-E-E-Z.

Ooh, Nafiz.

I'm so glad we talked about that because

I feel like I'm here with some people that work with me and they're like, wait, what?

Well, I think when we say people's names out loud, people that have been a part of our lives, like even when we're talking about like, if you wanted to say something to Lucian, I think when

we say people's names, they feel that wherever they are, that is a felt thing.

Cause otherwise, why would we feel it?

You know what I'm saying?

It's bringing their,

it's putting them in the

yeah, and I believe it's like, yeah, I believe they feel it.

Wherever they are, they feel it, you know.

I think you definitely, if you're here for this long, you definitely keep an anchor locked in I mean the other person I was gonna mention and tell me we can we if you I don't want you to run late for whatever but the other person I was thinking of when I was talking about Lucian was have you ever heard of Manny that ran the comedy seller?

Manny Dwormal was the owner of the comedy cellar his son gnome's there now

But he oh, yeah, I know gnome.

Yeah, yeah, so gnome's dad is Manning.

Okay first time I ever did comedy

was uh

at the comedy seller.

They had a they had a new talent night, which doesn't even exist anymore.

Now they just have like fucking 10 comedy sellers and 10 shows a night.

But this was like back in the day, they had a new talent night at like six o'clock.

And you'd bring like a couple of friends and they'd give you stage time.

And I did that and I was 18 years old, summer of my freshman year in college.

Didn't do good at all.

I did well.

My material was terrible, but I did well because I was very comfortable on stage and public speaking and I was just kind of funny and it worked.

And

I came back and did it again and I did a couple of open mics and you know had a reality check like, oh fuck, this is really hard.

And then

the third time I did stand-up, third time I ever did stand-up was again at the comedy seller.

And

it was one of these new talent nights.

And I,

for some reason, this crowd and me, it just, I was.

It didn't go well.

No, no, went super well.

Oh, fuck.

All your stories in a movie that go good.

And they went nuts.

And I like said something at the end.

I was like, oh, by the way, like, whatever we perform where, we have to bring a certain number of friends.

I'm running out of friends.

So if you want to come, like, come see, say hi backstage or whatever, you know?

And I was just being serious and they were all just losing it.

And Manny saw this.

And he said, like, you're yeah, there's Manny.

And he goes, you're, he basically came up and it was like some old Hollywood thing.

He was like, you're ready for the big room.

I'd done stand-up like three times.

There's no way I was ready to perform at the hardest comedy club.

And this is like comedy seller where it's like Attel, Geraldo, Jim Norton.

He's like, you're ready for the big room.

And

so I would show up there and

they would put me on late at night, almost like a late night.

And it was like really odd because I probably, I shouldn't have been doing it.

I was just so green, and I was doing it.

And eventually, you know, Esti, uh, Esti, who's the, you know, famously runs a comic seller, Passes Comics, she's like, Okay, let's you go on.

And I went on, and she was like, Yeah, you, you can't be performing here.

Yeah, she's like, You can't meet me doing this.

She's fucking tough.

I was like a little kid,

she was like, You can't, you can't be doing this, you're not ready.

And I was like, Okay,

and and then, um, you know, now again,

one of the, you know,

Emmy, Mass, Square Garden, whatever, like this to me is the coolest thing is that I can perform at the comedy seller and just drop in and they'll just let me do material and perform.

And then the crowd goes nuts and knows who I am.

That's the craziest thing to me.

That's crazy.

That's like kind of above everything else.

And my biggest dream.

I've told people is like that I'm just like 90 years old and I drop into the comedy seller and maybe a couple of people know who I am but that I'm able to fucking hold my own but anyway I I was there at the comedy cellar one night and me and Estie were talking about this and she was like you know man Manny saw you whenever you were really young and and he must be up there smiling now seeing all you've done

and uh

yeah that that uh that made me smile and um i i wasn't super super close with manny but um but he was another guy before lucian oddly even saw me and just

said something.

What's a reminder, I think, for anybody that has been in a field for a while of when you take a moment to connect with somebody that's just coming into it, you know, that it could have an effect.

You know, that's a nice reminder.

It means the world to them.

And you don't realize, because I think we're all like...

It could, yeah.

We're all in our own head and don't realize.

I mean, yeah, especially when you're young, there's one person having to believe like, oh, good job, just little things like that.

And I'm still grateful.

It reminded me that Neil Brennan and Amy Schumer are the ones that helped me get past at the Comedy Cellar.

Oh, wow.

And I've I've only performed there like probably six, seven times, maybe 10.

But I walked in the other night and I was so nervous.

Like, do you want to go up?

I was like, no way.

I'm not freaking going up, dude.

But I think some of that's just places you used to be in, you know.

So, um, Aziz, I got to go, man.

Thank you so much.

Oh, man, this was such a great conversation.

I really enjoyed it.

And, and we talked about so many interesting things and

really some heavy stuff, but I thought it was great.

And I'm so glad we had the opportunity to do it.

I appreciate it, man.

I think it's exciting that you get to live in London and have a new experience.

It sounds like you've had a lot of unique experiences, and that's like that's such a gift, you know.

Um, God's had a lot of grace, it seems like, in your whole just like ability to be creative.

And, like, man, thank you for sharing that with us.

Oh, thanks, man.

Thank you for having me.

You bet.

And best of luck with the film, dude, out October 17th, so this week, I think.

And,

all right, everybody, be good.

Thanks so much.

Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I must be

cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.

I found I can feel it

in my bones.

But it's gonna take

a little bit of time.