E571 Adam Devine

Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments as only he can.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
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We're going to try to focus on making sure that

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Speaker 1 template is perfect so that it just feels good and that you enjoy it and that you keep it and wear it for a long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those are really great. I want you to check them out.
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Today's guest is an actor. He's a comedian.

Speaker 1 He's a writer.

Speaker 1 He's, hell, he was hit by a damn car.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm from Workaholics and the Righteous Gemstones. He has his own podcast with the guys from Workaholics called This Is Important.

Speaker 1 It's always a fun time with my friend, Adam Devine.

Speaker 1 You just shower is it the uh is it uh the rain that got you a little wet? I just showered, unfortunately. It looks good on you.

Speaker 1 I'm not afraid to say it. That wet look looks good on you, Theo.
You think? Yeah, I'm I ain't lying. Let me see it.
Pull it up. Let me get a gander at it.
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn, son.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could just.

Speaker 1 Sorry. No, don't be it.
I like it. I haven't heard it in a while.
I saw you stretching a little bit. Was that what I saw? Yeah, you did.
You got to stay limber for all the sitting we're doing.

Speaker 1 I'm getting at the age now where

Speaker 1 I can't sit for too long, dude. Really? Yeah, that sucks.
What do you mean? Yeah, just sitting just freaking bothers me. It bother.
Yeah. You know, I do notice,

Speaker 1 I thought about this. Like, we're not supposed to just be sitting around.
Like, imagine to say you went in the woods, right? Yeah. And you saw all the animals are having fun.
Yep. Right.

Speaker 1 They always are. Yeah.
Most of them are. Some of them are beating, killing.
There's some. Yeah, some of them.

Speaker 1 Eating is fun, though. Yeah,

Speaker 1 most of them are having a good time. Yeah.
Yeah, there's violence. A lot of it's by the streams.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, kind of.

Speaker 1 That's fun. Yeah, it's fun if you're into that.
Yeah, and I think most animals, and I'm also into water. But if you're into it, but that's where things get violent is down there.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I think nature's a blast, right? Yeah. You see it, they're herding the animals.
The woodpecker comes down. He's like, he makes noise, and people are like, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 We want to sleep in.

Speaker 1 You don't think for him that's kind of fun, though? It's just like, wake up, motherfucker. Yeah, he's obviously been using or whatever.
He's one of the

Speaker 1 animals that got a hold of a bag somewhere. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Who else is rolling up like that?

Speaker 1 Just so early, just slamming their head against a wall. Yeah, and then taking off.
Yeah. Unless he's like Morse coding a message from that Evans or from like ACDC or something, you know.

Speaker 1 But you know, I'm sure every animal, they all conjoinively hate that MFer. Conjoinively, I think they are.

Speaker 1 When they see, unless one person had to get up early for work and he's like, guys, I had to invite him. Yeah.
And this, we all started, we started to talk about this because of stretching.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I'm just saying. So stretching like is, oh, you said sitting down.
Yeah. So I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know if we're supposed to be sitting down.

Speaker 1 Like, say if you went into nature and you saw a bunch of animals, they were doing stuff, scratching their backs on trees, eating berries and tickling each other or whatever.

Speaker 1 And then there's one animal off to the side who's sitting in a chair

Speaker 1 and he's vaping or working on his computer. Yep.
You'd be like, that anna, something's not right.

Speaker 1 He's going to have some achy hips. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because humans, they weren't sitting back in the day. That's what I'm saying.
I mean, rocks, they're not comfortable. We have all these, we've made all these comfy chairs, get us all sloven.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So that's, that's what I, I, I live in Orange County, so I drove up here to do this, among some other things, but I drove up here and it took like an hour, 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 And I, and then I get out of my car and my hips are like,

Speaker 1 yeah, my body body starts to, the top starts to lean forward.

Speaker 1 My top half of my body will start to lean forward like that. Yeah.
Well, do you know, I, um, my body fell apart, dude. You know, I was hit by a symmetric when I was a kid.
Were you really?

Speaker 1 I was, dude.

Speaker 1 And how full, or was it at a full symmetric? No way. Even if it wasn't a full symmetric, that's still fucked up, but it was a full one, dude.
Full one's really bad.

Speaker 1 I think 32 tons, something like that. Oh my, yeah.
Yeah, dude. It's it hit me.
I ran over the, like, the first under the wheels, and then spit me out. I flew 500 feet, dude.
You're lying.

Speaker 1 Truths. Oh, my God.
What's the longest field goal ever kicked? That's insane. Bring that up.
Yeah. I probably, I mean, it has to be more than 500.
No, maybe not. How long is the 66 yards?

Speaker 1 So, quick math,

Speaker 1 I think that's a thousand feet. Quick math.
No, what is that? 188. 188

Speaker 1 feet. Oh, my God.
So that's like more than double. Yeah.
Wow. Oh, my God.
Wow. What did you land in?

Speaker 1 I skidded up this, like up the street or down the street, however it goes. And I was hit in one county and I landed in another county.
Uh-uh.

Speaker 1 Because the street was like the dividing line between the counties. Still count? Yeah, still counts as a cool factoid.
And is this the style you got hit by? Would you get hit by?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a similar style. Yeah.
So I got taken under those wheels. Those Peterbilts are nice, huh? Yeah, that's a solid truck.

Speaker 1 And now, what happened? Were you? Because I have a friend who got hit by a train, right? And he's doing great. A lot is funny.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I agree. Yeah.
He was doing great. He was listening to, I think, a lot of Morse set or something, walking with his headphones on.
Yeah. And a lot of people.

Speaker 1 And he was like, isn't this ironic? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well.

Speaker 1 Don't you think? Because it's like

Speaker 1 listening to my song getting hit by train. The craziest thing was he'd been listening also to train earlier.
See, that would actually be ironic. Yeah.
But I think, but

Speaker 1 that joke only works if he had been listening to train earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 we dialed that one in. Yeah, we did a good job.
But yeah, you believe that they're noise canceling, and then you're like, no, they're not that noise-canceling. He couldn't hear a train coming.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 wild. But it's effective, is all I'm saying.
Those heavens are effective.

Speaker 1 So you're walking, where are you when this happens?

Speaker 1 It was omaha nebraska

Speaker 1 and we were going across the uh street to get candy or whatever and i mean true facts were we were going to like we would steal pages out of playboy or penthouse

Speaker 1 magazines and we were like you know 12 11 11.

Speaker 1 and uh so that was our move we would go there we'd rip out i don't know why we didn't just steal the magazine because the ripping sounds loud it's it's It's way louder.

Speaker 1 But in Little Kid Brain, I was like, it's not as bad if we only steal a few pages. That's fair.
Like, it's we're we're gonna get in less trouble if we get caught. Right, like, I got one page.

Speaker 1 Like, I only got a couple pages. Yeah.
I'm gonna got like half a tit here, mom. What is it? I can't take a magazine.
It's just a magazine. You still have the rest.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they say they buy it for the articles, mom. So I left the articles.
So

Speaker 1 we would do that. And so my one friend was across the street, or my two friends were across the street, and they say, come on.
And I took that as coast is clear.

Speaker 1 Coast wasn't clear, Theo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, three cement trucks are going up the hill as two are coming down. And I couldn't see the other side of the street.
It was like the suburbs or new houses were sprouting up all over.

Speaker 1 So three were coming up, two are coming down. He yells, come on.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 take his word for it. Walked out behind the third cement truck.

Speaker 1 Boom, bam. Hot damn.
Did you even have a second to see it or you just lights out? I don't remember it. This is all what people have told me.

Speaker 1 My friend could have thrown me in front of the cement truck for all I know, but I don't think so. Danny Hendrix did not try to murder me, I don't think.

Speaker 1 Danny? Yeah. Or Dan Denty.

Speaker 1 Or Denty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sounds like he may have to me.
Yeah, maybe. I don't know.
Maybe. I don't think so.
He's a good guy.

Speaker 1 What does he do now?

Speaker 1 He, I mean, dude, I don't know what he does right now. Danny Hendrix, there he is.
Wow. Great job, dude.
Staffing ninja. Helps the medical labs locate and attract exceptional talent.

Speaker 1 So that's, you know, he's got a real job. That's cool.
He's got a nice smile. Yeah, he does.
Very nice. Yeah, he's a handsome guy.
He's got.

Speaker 1 Well, he didn't have to put his smile back together off of a street curb either. Yeah, that's true.
Like I had to cobble myself to get back together. But, but,

Speaker 1 yeah, so from that,

Speaker 1 all those injuries, I

Speaker 1 am now like, my body's just all fucked up. Well,

Speaker 1 how long were you in that? Were you in the hospital for for me? I was in for like a month and a half, but then I had like

Speaker 1 two dozen surgeries within a short dude. My legs are all fucked up.
Look at this. It looks like uncooked chicken.
Can I show you? Yeah. Is it gross throughout? Well, it's okay.
I can see it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wow, okay. That's a real deal right now.
That's a flat. Yeah, that looks like some uncooked chicken meats.
Damn, homie's got a flat on there. Yeah.
And is that a wow? Can I touch that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, touch that. Oh, my God.
That's magic. It's really smooth, right?

Speaker 1 this is what like like older ladies this is what they want their skin not to look like but to feel like yeah right touching oh that's off-road skin yeah but that's kind of smooth right yeah touch that again i don't think you're getting yeah let me touch the underside get the underbelly of it i can't feel that the underside tickles tickles me a little touch at it um i can't feel that you can't really no so a lot of nerve damage like was that thing just hanging on what happened because that looks kind of recapable

Speaker 1 and then this side isn't wow as bad that one has a dip in, it looks like.

Speaker 1 Because this is like the actual

Speaker 1 muscle. And then it dips, dips here.
Oh, my God. You know what it reminds me of? That Body Wars thing that comes to all the

Speaker 1 exhibits, you know, Body World? I think it's called Body World, I believe.

Speaker 1 And it's also, Body World is pretty incredible, man. It is kind of fascinating.
There's one where they spliced a pregnant person. You have to.

Speaker 1 Oh, you have to splice a pregnant person. That's a new way to do a gender reveal, I But

Speaker 1 the exhibit is set up so that one starts at the skeletal system.

Speaker 1 It's an exhibition showcasing human bodies that have been preserved through a process called plastination and dissected to display bodily systems. It opened in Tampa.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Which is... I wouldn't have expected that.

Speaker 1 Tampas, they allow a lot of stuff. Yeah, but it seems like a, I mean, it seems like a thing that would, that would sprout up in like Boston.

Speaker 1 Like some Harvard people were like, yo, let's start up this thing. Right.
You know, Tampa doesn't feel like it should. That's a good point.
You know, but they may have won it.

Speaker 1 Somebody won it in a lawsuit. I think it probably had to start it in Florida, maybe based on legalities or something.
Yeah, it was a divorce. Yeah.
Yeah. Like

Speaker 1 someone's like, well, I'm keeping the exhibit.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that idea we had, I'm keeping that and I'm running with it. So the exhibit displays internal organs and organic systems, body stage and active poses and fetuses in various stages of development.

Speaker 1 It opened in 1995. Guess when I was ran over, dude? 1995.
You're lying. Uh-uh.
Oh, my God. Maybe they read about me in the paper and were like,

Speaker 1 I have an idea. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's take this show on the road. Let's take it on the road.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I thought I'm, I wonder if I, I won't shut up about getting hit by a symmetric.

Speaker 1 I hope I didn't retell that story. It's fascinating, man.
No, I don't think so at all. And here's a little bit of Real Bodies exhibit.
And you just get to see the texture.

Speaker 1 That's what this reminds me of. You have a very kind of beef jerky from the knees down.
But smooth, but smooth. No, it's nice.

Speaker 1 It's not a hard jerky. Well, it just also seems you seem strong.
Thank you. Thank you for sitting there.
Do you think your body had to, your legs had to be stronger after this?

Speaker 1 It was a ton of physical, like years and years and years of physical therapy. And what sucks now, dude, is I'm back in the physical therapy grind.

Speaker 1 How much of it? Yeah, whatever happened, like three years ago, I was shooting this show in Germany and I like was wiggling around and I like kicked my leg up and

Speaker 1 like, I was like, ping and something pinged down here in my groin. I was like, ah, I got my balls popping out, you know, like you have a hernia and like my insides are oozing out, not oozing out.

Speaker 1 They weren't.

Speaker 1 So then it was just something like got tweaked. And then it was just like bing, bing, bing, bing.
And the muscles all

Speaker 1 got fucked up.

Speaker 1 And so i had two surgeries i was like it's my hips i'm gonna have so i got hip surgeries on each side it wasn't the hips no so it's been three years of like trying to cobble my body back together and i was so up and i was so tight and tense and i was getting these spasms i went to the doctor the doctor one month before my son was born was like

Speaker 1 you're dying

Speaker 1 Swear to God, Theo. He goes, you have stiff person syndrome, which is a real disease.
It sounds like a boner joke, but it is not. And he's like, you got stiff person syndrome.

Speaker 1 And that essentially,

Speaker 1 the like average lifespan of someone with stiff person syndrome is like five or six years.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I'm dying. I'm dying.
So for a solid couple months, I was like,

Speaker 1 my son is just born. I'm going to die.
And what are you feeling? Like, are you feeling like a gingerbread cookie kind of style? Or like, how stiff are you at that point? I'm a lot better now.

Speaker 1 I was so stiff, I couldn't like, I could hurt.

Speaker 1 I like, I would move and everything would go crack, crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack and it hurts to just move at all and i would have these crazy spasms and like it would and they would happen in my stomach sometimes and it looks like i'm pregnant like a little fucking arm is is pushing out it was wild bring some of that up stiff person syndrome this is a real um it's a real saline dion has it oh so then so then uh i i go through

Speaker 1 all this testing and then they were like you know we don't think you have this we think this is from your accident and and i'm like okay thank god i don't have this and then i go through another six months i'm on the set of the righteous gemstones i'm not getting any better in fact i'm getting worse and i tell danny i'm like dude i have to dip i have to go see the the stiff person syndrome guy and it was so scary because he's the guy that's going to tell me if i actually have it or not oh really and i'm there it's after hours and uh they saw me special you know and i just hear his little click clack click clack of his old man doctor shoes.

Speaker 1 And he comes and he has those eyebrows that are like wizard-like. You know, eyebrows that like a bird will land on one.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 And you know, if you have eyebrows like that, you're like, you have wisdom, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely. If, yeah, people who trim their eyebrows are obviously dumb as yeah, you're not.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, dude, you got to let those things sprout if you're lucky enough to have some wiry brows.

Speaker 1 And so he comes, and luckily he tells me I do not have it. So thank God.
But it was like a wild ride where I'm like, I think I'm dying.

Speaker 1 Now I'm like, it's from my accident. It sucks.
But hopefully I can get better. So some of the mental fear is gone away because you got the verdict.

Speaker 1 And then I think from that, some of the physical has gotten a little better because the mental, because I'm not just like, because I wasn't sleeping. I was sleeping like three hours a night.

Speaker 1 I was just going online, sitting on the toilet and watching TikTok videos of like people with like, that are like, I'm living with stiff person syndrome and and it's I'm living an okay life and you're like oh this is

Speaker 1 doing good it's like I'm doing good

Speaker 1 somebody set me on a counter so I can look at the children or whatever yeah totally

Speaker 1 you're like elf on a shelf dude that's exactly what it was and I'm like and it's I feel so bad for these people and also in turn I'm like this is gonna be me dude I'm gonna like my wife is just gonna have to like wheel me into the living room as I watch my like little son walk for the his first steps you know know, I think it's going to be like that, but luckily it's not.

Speaker 1 So that's been since I saw you last, dude. That's what you've been doing.
That's what I've been doing. And that's so stressful.
I can imagine, man. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's unbelievable. And where you started, like, so that's why I was stretching.
That's why you started. Well, you can get dysplasia, too.
That's one of the things that.

Speaker 1 So dogs get a lot. Well, a lot of Australian shepherds get it.
My friend Scott has an Australian shepherd. People say I'm an Australian shepherd as a human.

Speaker 1 I could see that a little bit. Dysplasia refers to abnormal development of growth of cells or tissues, which can be mild, moderate, or severe, and can sometimes be a precursor to cancer.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that.
I thought that was when

Speaker 1 your hips get all tight. Yeah, let's look up hip dysplasia.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Hip dysplasia.
This guy's trying to upsell us. I thought

Speaker 1 that would always be like a kind of a cool name for like a 90s hip-hop group. Yeah,

Speaker 1 hip dysplasia.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hip dysplasia condition where the hip joint does not develop properly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Resulting in abnormal fit between the ball and socket of the hip.

Speaker 1 The exact cause of hip dysplasia is unknown, but it may be related to genetics,

Speaker 1 position during pregnancy, and history of hip dysplasia in a family. Don't have that.
Thank God. God, dude.
Yeah. Now, were there things where you haven't roll out your legs and stuff?

Speaker 1 Like, tell me some where they roll out every day. Dude, I have to roll out.
Yeah. I carry around like the ball.
The ball I really fuck with.

Speaker 1 I do

Speaker 1 acupuncture once a week. I do body work at least once a week.
I do a thing called functional patterns, which is, it teaches you like how to stand properly using weights and different kinds of things.

Speaker 1 And then I do regular physical therapy.

Speaker 1 And that's about it right now. But like...
And then I do chiropractor that hooks me up with like this machine that zaps you, you know, like a TENS unit, like a stem pads. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But like, this is supposedly like the hot shit machine that zaps you even more.

Speaker 1 I don't know even what it does, but I'm like doing everything. So like right now, when I'm not currently working on a project, it's like five days a week, all week.
Physical therapy.

Speaker 1 Every week, physical therapy type stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's like having another child.
It's almost like having another child. It's like having to take care of yourself like that is really extensive.
It's so annoying.

Speaker 1 And then like I might do this movie and it shoots in South Africa. Yeah.
And I'm like running around and it's like an action sort of movie. And I'm like, oh, am I going to fuck myself up again?

Speaker 1 So now I'm like looking at projects with a little side eye going like, can I handle this shit? Yeah. What about a calm project? Yeah.
I need a nice chill, like, but peeping Tom type of thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, if I could get a peeping Tom gig, dude. That's where I'd really shoot.
Put him on the ladder. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I'm just perched up in a, in a tree, but I have like a nice chair, like a deer stand, you you know, and uh, but it's just me just like oogling someone, that'd be a good gig, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's Sidney Sweeney or someone in it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Or your wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but look, it's just acting. Yeah, it's just acting.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. If you got January John's in there, you got

Speaker 1 who else can you? A lot of people. A lot of people, dude.
Rear Window. That's a.
That's in Hitchcock, wasn't it? Rear Window? I think so. Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 Rear Window, I think, was about butt stuff, wasn't it? That was an early...

Speaker 1 An early anal film?

Speaker 1 One of the first anal films. I think it was about proctologist.
It was like a proctologist.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know. A proctologist can't get his act together.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Man, that's so wild. Thanks for sharing that, dude.
When you were a kid, how long did it affect you? Like, say after the accident happened, how long was it?

Speaker 1 Like, was it like a daily thing that affected you probably? Oh, for sure. I couldn't walk for about two years.
And then, but then in eighth grade, your homie played football. Oh, yep.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was so bad, dude.

Speaker 1 But they were like, yeah, he could play. And then it was just, they made me an offensive lineman.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 you can't move. I can't move.
It was just like, but I was pretty strong from all the physical efforts.

Speaker 1 You could go around on it. Yeah.
Don't hit me. Yeah, just play it.

Speaker 1 But my mom, my mom was like so worried about me, right? So she put shin guards on me and arm guards on me. So I was hitting people like, bah, bah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, like a soccer fan. Yeah, dude, I would, my dad was like, take your elbow and jam it underneath their, their chin.
So it was just me going like, dink. And they're like, oh, oh,

Speaker 1 and I actually, I was like, kind of decent. Like, it worked.
You were there, dude. It worked.
You were the only guy out there who was

Speaker 1 just fucking high-eyeing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What? That's crazy, dude. And the devilishness of your father to that.
Oh, dude, my dad's a dirty dog, man. Guide you like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My dad, like, I don't know how your parents were, but my dad, I remember as a kid, I was getting bullied, you know, a little bit. I'm sure, dude.
Yeah, but before, before the accident.

Speaker 1 Before? Yeah, I don't know. It was just like, there was a bully, right?

Speaker 1 And my dad was like, dude,

Speaker 1 does he,

Speaker 1 pick on you? Is he a lot bigger than you? And I'm like, he's way bigger than me. He was held back a grade.
So this guy was like a fucking monster. Insane.
And it was in like fourth.

Speaker 1 He's held back. He was held back.
He's a big dummy. Just let the dumb go with their friends.
Let them go. That's a scary part when you keep, you're like, hey, this is a big deal.
You hold him back.

Speaker 1 And now he's going to be, now he's mad. Now he's angry.
Because everyone knows he's stupid. He's angry and dumb.
Yeah. So now he's in my grade.

Speaker 1 And he.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I smell the blood of Ad Dumb.
Uh, and then he is like picking on me, and my dad was like,

Speaker 1 hit him as hard as you can in the face and then run away. He's like, That like, try to knock him the fuck out, and then

Speaker 1 he's bigger than you. And I'm like, uh-huh.
He's like, Then get out of there, right? So the next day, I was like, He was picking on me, and I just was like,

Speaker 1 and I punched him right in the nose, did not knock him out, uh,

Speaker 1 but he didn't attack, he cried like a bitch, yeah, he did. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 1 he, and then I think I became his bully, which in turn, I've actually heard, I've told this story on my podcast. This is important.

Speaker 1 And I told that story. And then I found through the grapevine that

Speaker 1 he thinks that I was his bully. He doesn't remember bullying me.
He only remembers me bullying him afterwards. Because afterwards, I just took my dad's advice.
So he was like talking shit in class.

Speaker 1 I just got out a book and hit him in the back of the head. Yeah.
Yeah. And like he was talking shit at the top of the stairs.
I fucking kicked him and he fell down the stairs, dislocated his shoulder.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. So I think I was like fucking really violent.
Yeah, it sounds like you don't remember things correctly. Yeah.
It sounds like you were

Speaker 1 a violent guy. It does.
It does. But I thought in my head, he's the aggressor.
Maybe not. Maybe I'm a little piece of shit.
But I thought I was in the right.

Speaker 1 But I was like, I'm smaller, so I have to be more violent, or else

Speaker 1 I'm going to be the one getting my ass kicked. So

Speaker 1 we had a kid at after-school care. We went to a religious after-school care because they would donate it to you if you prayed a lot or something.

Speaker 1 So my mom would get a couple prayers in, and then you got free care for the kids or whatever. Good deal.
Oh, yeah. So she was hitting the

Speaker 1 urinal or something. No, it's not a urinal.
What is it? Where you pray? Confessional. Confessional, right? Just

Speaker 1 way different than urinal.

Speaker 1 Definitely.

Speaker 1 God, I hope this, God, God, please make this piss come out right.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 No, it's okay, dude.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so yeah, she would put up, she would like make a bunch of deposits in the confessional or whatever. And then they gave you free childcare for the after school, right?

Speaker 1 And we had this one kid named Jeep was his name. He was named after a vehicle, right? Yeah.
So they named him Jeep. And I was like, well, that's not how it works.
But

Speaker 1 my buddy Scott's daddy was like, you know what? If he's being mean, you go up on that upper deck and hum a piece of concrete off at him.

Speaker 1 And did you do that? I don't remember if we did it or not, but I just remember that advice being like, that is aggressive advice. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Jeep was problematic and he would body slam other kids and stuff. Yeah, it sucks, dude.
Yeah. So, but everybody had a bully, man.

Speaker 1 But you talked about on a new podcast. You have a new podcast.
Wait, I know this with the guys from Workaholics. You guys started a new podcast.
That's right. It's not new.

Speaker 1 We've been doing it a while now, but

Speaker 1 you re-pick it up or something? Yeah, we've just, we don't promote it,

Speaker 1 so uh, we've just been doing it in silence, and uh,

Speaker 1 yeah, no one knows about it. Uh, it's called This Is Important, but it's yeah, me and the workaholics guys, it's super fun, yeah, yeah, it's it's fun, dude.

Speaker 1 And what a way to keep that thing alive, what a way to keep an experience alive, yeah, it's just a fun way to get together. It was during the pandemic, actually, we started it and we were like,

Speaker 1 dude, we never see each other anymore. We're bored, let's just crank this bitch out.
Bring up a photo of the gang right there with the pod. Yeah, this is important.

Speaker 1 We're actually pitching a new show together.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So the boys might be back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, we're, yeah, we're.
What a great group you got with, too. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 it's rare that you have a show, right? Like Work Holics, which was such a hit. And then you now get to have an experience where you guys are still kind of together, even podcasting, right?

Speaker 1 And with Gemstones ending,

Speaker 1 what's it like when something like big like that ends? Like, what's it like when a project that you've done for a few years ends?

Speaker 1 Like, I know even just doing a small movie that it was like the last day, it felt like the last day of school.

Speaker 1 And it was like, and we weren't even, and we were kind of close, but it had only been, you know, maybe 30 days. But this is years of your life.
What's that? Dude, it's way different.

Speaker 1 Like a movie, doing movies is so fun, right? Like, it's a black, it's a lot of work, like way more work than people

Speaker 1 think. They, they think it's all glitz and glamour.
It's kind of sucks. It's a nightmare.
Yeah, it's a lot. It really is a nightmare.

Speaker 1 It's a living, you're up and you're down and you're up and you're down. You're almost like a zombie that has to do some stuff.
I love it, though.

Speaker 1 I love like putting all the little pieces together and you feel like you're the quarterback of a football team and, you know, the whole crew's working together and everybody's working for one common goal.

Speaker 1 But then when it's wraps,

Speaker 1 a movie, you really only spent like a two months together or however long. And so it's like saying goodbye and it's, you know, it's, it's difficult because you made friends with some of these people.

Speaker 1 But then on a TV show, it's years and years of your life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you really form like real friendships with some of these people. So I like that better in the way that you're like some of these crew people, I'm going to know for the rest of my life.
And then

Speaker 1 it's just nice to build a relationship. So that's what I love about TV.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to pitch another show with the Workholix guys and working on a few other projects that I hope I can get off the ground

Speaker 1 TV wise because it's nice just to have something that you can come back to every year and grow with the characters and you know have it morph over time like Gemstone's ending like that show was a wild ride dude it got us through the pandemic through us through two strikes through all these ups and downs all this turmoil it was nice to come back and have this be you know kind of home base and i know you just uh recorded with danny a couple weeks ago yeah it was great oh isn't he the best dude he's so great i was a little bit nervous.

Speaker 1 I wish I had just talked about more regular stuff. We talked about like some family stuff.
It was great. Yeah.
It was great. You know, you used to always kind of have your drothers, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know, I had no clue who he's going to be.
Like, there's not a ton of stuff out there about him. Well, he likes to be mysterious, you know? And it's good.

Speaker 1 He does a great job of it. And he was talking about how, like, by not having social media and all that kind of stuff, it just keeps him, it lets him have his brain space for himself.

Speaker 1 He's like, you have to have time to be kind of just where your brain's not doing anything, you know? And he's so good about like

Speaker 1 doing what he he does and not feel, I think it's so easy just to be like, I have to be everywhere. I have to be doing,

Speaker 1 and I, I feel this way sometimes. I'm like, why don't I have a Snapchat presence? I'm like, fucking snap.
Who am I? Yeah. I'm not, I'm not like a 14-year-old TikTok girl.
Like,

Speaker 1 you'd be a pedophile if you had one. Yeah, I don't need to be a pedophile.

Speaker 1 I just want to. Everyone's doing it.
Theo.

Speaker 1 It is Hollywood. It's Hollywood, man.

Speaker 1 yeah so he's he's and he's just the coolest boss man it was so fun yeah you know you meet him and you're like i'm i was the same way you're a little on your heels you're a little intimidated right because he's such a presence and uh i remember the first time i met him i was it was at an after party uh for like this is the end or something and we were doing a movie that seth rogan produced game over man which i did with the workaholics guys and so we were there at the after party and i'm i was trying to smoke with Seth, like go toe-to-toe with him.

Speaker 1 And I smoke weed. I'm good at smoking weed, I would say.
Not as good as Seth Rogan. Yeah, he's, yeah, he's looks like a leaf of a joint.
Yes, he looks human joint. And so

Speaker 1 I'm like in a fucking daze, fully cross-faded. And also, he doesn't drink, but I do.
So I'm like just guzzling vodka while still trying to keep up with him.

Speaker 1 And through this, I have stiff person syndrome.

Speaker 1 This is pre-stiff person.

Speaker 1 This is pre-my stiff but out through this cloud emerges danny mcbride and he's on like my mount rush more you know a favorite comedian and just seeing him walk up he just has this everything that he says is his character so it's like yeah you're it's just him yeah and and i was like on my heels and so i go

Speaker 1 you're danny mcbride

Speaker 1 and He's like, dude, yeah, I know. He's like, hey, man, nice to meet you.
And then I looked at him and I said,

Speaker 1 you're a bright shooting star.

Speaker 1 What? Like, what the fuck, dude? You're a bright shooting star. I said, I told him, you're a bright shooting star, which I think is like a

Speaker 1 Native American type of thing. It might be a Native American, but it's also like, I think, from...

Speaker 1 Boogie Nights or something. And so I said, you're a bright shooting star.
And he's like, yeah, okay, man. And I grabbed my girlfriend at the time and I was like, we have to leave.
We have to leave.

Speaker 1 And she was like, I'm having a good time. Why are we leaving? I'm like, I just called Dana McBride a bright shooting star.

Speaker 1 And she was like, you're right. Let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 She's like, yeah, fucking,

Speaker 1 you're out of your mind, dude. Let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 But when he cast me on the show, he did not remember that. I think he also was pretty cross-fated as well.
So he didn't remember that. He might have been cooking with Seth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he might have been also cooking with Seth. So dang, dude, that's crazy.
Yeah. So thank God.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Shout out to Dave Ramsey, my friend. He invited me to a get-together at his home in a few months.
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Speaker 1 Yeah, he just like, I don't know, it's tough because you, it's tough because you want to impress him, but you also want to just learn about him. There was a lot of little stuff.

Speaker 1 And to know that he liked the directing side and the thinking about in the program, that he, that he thinks about that more than it seems like he does probably the acting side, not as a judgment.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, that's right. That's the stuff that he talked about, why he even got into things.
That's the stuff that he likes the most. Like, he's like, I won't really go back and watch things.

Speaker 1 I like to just be there in that moment when things are trying to, are chaotic. And how do we figure it out? And I was like, wow, that's kind of fascinating.
He's a really smart guy.

Speaker 1 He went to film school first. And like, so he came into the business wanting to be a writer and a director.
And that's what I wanted to do too.

Speaker 1 And I remember telling my mom, I'm like, I think I want to go to film school. That way I can learn the other side and then put myself as the lead in projects.

Speaker 1 And then I could have all the creative control. And my mom, bless her heart, was just like, you're an actor, just go be an actor.

Speaker 1 She was like dunking on me a little bit. Like, okay, dummy.

Speaker 1 Just go be. You've already the actor.
Yeah. You've already been by the cement truck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not push our luck here.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Next, all you need is a lumber truck and it's a wrap, dude.
Yeah, dude, a freaking steamroller. Dang, dude.
So Jim Stones is,

Speaker 1 but no, yeah, getting to see him. Well, it was funny because I went in the lobby and he, or they were waiting in the front room, and

Speaker 1 they're like, Danny's here. And we were trying to get ready a little bit.
And just been a long weekend. And I go in there and he's just pretending that he's sleeping in the chair.
It's just so funny.

Speaker 1 Like, kind of something a kid would do, you know?

Speaker 1 He's the best. It was just so, like, you know, I've walked in there and had, there's been a hundred guests in there, and never once has one just pretended that they're sleeping.

Speaker 1 Dude, he, he'll like, when you're on, he likes to keep things light and fun. And, but he's also just like, he's like a little rascal, you know? And so you'll be shooting your side of a take, right?

Speaker 1 And it's over his shoulder. And he'll just go

Speaker 1 like as you're trying to act. And you're like, what the like, dude.

Speaker 1 And he's like the guy that'll break the most. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think it's like to keep things light. And also, he just thinks like he's such a good,

Speaker 1 like such a giver that

Speaker 1 like, he wants you to know that he thinks it's funny.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, he gave me a cock light, a little light that can do cocks with it. That's sick.
Oh, you need that, honestly. He had like a little wiener laser or whatever.

Speaker 1 It was like, you know, how they have that light you can shine on somebody at like a somebody who's giving a conference or whatever. Like a laser pointer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you shine it on him and then circle his dick with it. Social security comes up and rescues him or whatever, so they'll get shot or whatever.
Yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 Secret Service. I don't think Social Security is right.

Speaker 1 Actually, Social Security, apparently, Troy's taking it out of business. Whatever.
Yeah, it's nowhere to be found.

Speaker 1 It's just going to be your grandma being like, what?

Speaker 1 I need this to survive.

Speaker 1 Here's a cocklight instead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what Social Security is going to send you a gift each month. Yeah.
Like, hey, we don't have money anymore. They took that.

Speaker 1 But here's a cocklight. Those days are over.
But I mean, maybe for some people, worth it. What about this labian nightlight we didn't give you, though? Yeah.
Yeah, this was it.

Speaker 1 It projects five different dicks. And I didn't know that.
He didn't take me through all the cocks. He showed me that one.
Well, have you?

Speaker 1 I mean, I feel like this is something that you need to spend some time with. Yeah, I feel like you got to dust that one off.
And

Speaker 1 I brought it a little bit. I brought it to Las Vegas with me this weekend.
And I was even using it during some of the fights. I would low-key people didn't know it.
Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 1 But like, there were some of the fights where one and I'd flash a cock on somebody.

Speaker 1 uh we i get crazy i'm sure you get weird gifts like this all the time i get weird shit all constantly like where they i they want you to talk about it on your podcast or they you know what i'm saying uh i just got this it was like offensive there was this

Speaker 1 dildo company or something like a sex toy company and they sent me one that you it's to fit over your dick so you have a bigger dick.

Speaker 1 It was called The Little More, and you strap it onto your dick so your dick is bigger. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 why was I singled out as the guy?

Speaker 1 A little more. Yeah, I think, is this it? Maybe it, maybe, yeah, you strap it on, you put it under your, your nuts through a little hole.
Oh, you put your nuts into it as well?

Speaker 1 Yeah, underneath so it can stay on. Oh, I see.
So you kind of put your nuts through a hole and then it stays on top. And then it stays on top.
So do you even need to use your nuts?

Speaker 1 Not that I've tried it on.

Speaker 1 Not that I know everything about it.

Speaker 1 And is it a 41 regular? What size?

Speaker 1 it's a 42 short it's stocky like me just a short stocky little uh yeah that's exactly it was amazing i like a little more five and a half inches that's so sad dude if that's your little more

Speaker 1 hey you know i guess that person would really need it like this is a smart car of cops totally totally that's that's something that your wife or girlfriend gives you i like that that one sold out oh yeah that one sold out there they ran out of those they're like that means you have to have like a four inch dick to then and you want to rock up to five five and a half yeah for like your wedding or whatever yeah for a big event i wonder if i would like you know i guess it's kind of nice because then your wiener could not even have to be erect you can kind of be soft as long as you're able to fit the mold and just rock this thing yeah that's good if you're like you're you know you're a little jet lagged you're a little tired oh yeah i've been jet light for 20 years then yeah so and and then you know you're you're like you don't really want to give it up.

Speaker 1 But then, you know,

Speaker 1 with these women crawling all over, you know, oh, my God. It's, it's exhausting.
Oh, you got to smash them just to keep them off the ceiling, fan. You know, for real.

Speaker 1 I know, I know exactly what you mean.

Speaker 1 No, dude, I'm married. I have a one-year-old baby.
My wife is like, please stop touching me for

Speaker 1 18 more years. Do not touch me.

Speaker 1 There we are.

Speaker 1 We're a beautiful family. We're a beautiful family.
Wow, dude. That must be nice to have a beautiful family.
It is.

Speaker 1 Is that a real picture? That's a real. Yeah, that's our living room.
Yeah. Y'all have a boat? Yeah, dude.
You're lying. Got boats, dude.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's what happens when you have stiff person syndrome. You're like, you know what? I'm basically a retiree now.
Now I just stretch. I do like yoga in my backyard and then I take boats out.

Speaker 1 They just tie you to the front, like in that, um, what about Bob? Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm exactly like that. Um, Your character in

Speaker 1 congratulations too on your family.

Speaker 1 Thanks, dude. How soon after a wife has one child do they want to is there

Speaker 1 isn't there a strategy there that starts to come in like do we have another one immediately? Do we hold off?

Speaker 1 Yes, you don't want to have an only child, I don't think we don't.

Speaker 1 We want a two-banger, the one two-punch. And I think we want to try to go fairly soon, you know, just to

Speaker 1 pound it out. Yeah, keep it.

Speaker 1 I feel like once you're used to doing diapers i'm like let's keep this thing rolling i know i know how to do whoop i know how to do this quick like you don't want to get out of the diaper phase and then suddenly you're like oh fuck i gotta do this again you have to dust them off or whatever like yeah we're like how do i even

Speaker 1 yeah what are we doing what are we doing here dude um yeah i guess that's true knock them all out we just said candace owens on it she has had four kids in a row one two three four she's on her fourth child right now that's a lot per year so it's just like oh that's a lot yeah at that point you're kind of running a distillery it seems like yeah that's too much well i feel like it finally got to the point that like my wife is allowing me to touch her a little bit right like sometimes so then i know if like we run it back and have another kid then it's off the table for another year yeah you know yeah so that that sucks but it kind of fits so with your gemstones characters

Speaker 1 your gemstones character is now fully um a homosexual male right that is right that is right and what's that been like what's that journey been like have like how did you get did you my wife doesn't love it okay she's not super attracted to that uh that guy that guy uh

Speaker 1 yeah it was you know it was uh

Speaker 1 it kind of seemed like it was going that way and it was really fun to play like a character that had like a secret you know a little secret that uh i did want to divulge so it was nice this season i'm out i'm proud and i and i could just like be

Speaker 1 because i i don't know about you, but I have like uh, some gay family members, and when they finally came out, it was like they were, they had a new lease on life, they just seemed happier.

Speaker 1 They like a new personality emerged from their cocoon, they're, they're, they broke out of the hetero shell, and now they can just be gay, yay. Yeah, and uh, so it was super fun to play that.

Speaker 1 Dang, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. And do you have to pract, did you have to like channel any specialty or special gay folks? Or do you call a gay that you are a gay person? Did you contact some other gay people?

Speaker 1 Did you take like a small, like a weekend retreat or something? Is there any? No, I didn't. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of gay retreats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was mostly just acting. Okay.
I didn't go on any gay retreats. Not that I'm opposed to it.
No, just, yeah, I'm just wondering, did you, and do you have to ask like a, is there like a

Speaker 1 because like sometimes with the, with some black stuff, if you want to use the N-word, you have to get a pass. You have to

Speaker 1 really need a lot of co-signers on that. Yeah, definitely.
And a lot. There'd have to be like a long list.
It was like all these people said I could say it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But anyway, yeah, I was just wondering, do you have to get a gay pass from an acting guild or anything to play?

Speaker 1 No, I think I just did it. I hope, I hope I don't take trouble.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck. Now that you're kind of airing it out, I'm a little bit like, did I do them dirty?

Speaker 1 But I don't think so. I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I I have some gay friends, and they were like, it's great.
You're fantastic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I think I walked the line of

Speaker 1 being a little flamboyant in moments, but then not in other moments as a gay man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and as your character. Let's bring his character up too here, just so we can get a gander at him as well.

Speaker 1 I also have been pulling some looks the last couple of years to make sure my fashions are on point. Yeah, I think there was, it was not shocking, I don't think, to people that your character could

Speaker 1 have this going on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because there's also, there's always a surprise gay person in a lot of religious families. Absolutely.
And look at this. Look at that guy.
Look at that. Sex pot.
I mean, that guy

Speaker 1 could be seven or 41. That's exactly how old I am.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 this guy's been fucking.

Speaker 1 This is unbelievable that this even exists. Yeah, dude.
I know. It was such a fun character to play.
You know, where I channeled

Speaker 1 the character was a lot of wrist work.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I just do, because when you're acting, for me, if I'm some, if I'm not playing like Adam DeMamp from Workaholics, it's pretty similar to myself, just the more manic version of myself, you know?

Speaker 1 So I didn't have to do a lot, but other characters where I'm like, he's different than me. I have to find something where I can click in physically.

Speaker 1 I found like just doing different things with my hands, I would

Speaker 1 be able to channel him in ways that

Speaker 1 isn't me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can totally relate to that. Like sometimes when you go to costumes for a

Speaker 1 part and you'll try on different ones and then you'll put on like a certain outfit or something that they have you in, and you're like, oh, this is kind of it.

Speaker 1 And you start to feel a little bit different or you'll like kind of like walk if you walk around yourself a little differently, you strut around a little differently.

Speaker 1 For me, it was on Gemstones. I got, they gave me these, well, I actually requested them.
You know how like

Speaker 1 certain people will wear glasses even though they don't have

Speaker 1 anything wrong with their eyes? Yeah, it's like, it's like a fashion thing. And so you

Speaker 1 put them on and just to like.

Speaker 1 Well, those are sunglasses.

Speaker 1 You just look cool. Oh, you're saying just any type of glasses? Just like regular glasses, but

Speaker 1 no sun. Window glasses.
Regular window glasses. And they put them on

Speaker 1 just for like a fashion sale. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I've done that. Yeah.
So that, to me, when I put that on, I like became a different character.

Speaker 1 I was like doing a little bit of a thing. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's how I morphed into

Speaker 1 Kelvin Jamstone. Well, a lot of, there's a lot of gay activity in nature as well.
You know, if if they

Speaker 1 back to nature, dude. By the stream, they're either killing each other or they're fucksing.
Bring up that. They just had two humpback whales, if you can find that, having sex, and they're both males.

Speaker 1 So this is. Oh, shit.
So I'm just saying, gemstones inspired them. Is not the only people that are finding themselves.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 Two male humpback whales are seen mating off the coast of Hawaii, of course. Yeah.
Obviously. Oh, dude.
I'm in Hawaii. I'll fuck anything.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When biologist biologist Stephanie Stack first saw the photographs of two humpback whales mating in the warm waters of Hawaii, she says her mind was completely blown.

Speaker 1 When I realized that it was two males, it was not what I was expecting.

Speaker 1 I thought, oh, my gosh, this is incredible. Says this is the first, she's a biologist at the Pacific Whale Foundation in Maui, which sounds like a

Speaker 1 something that Doge is going to bust soon.

Speaker 1 Says this is the first time humpback whale sex has been been documented she co-authored a paper about the rare sighting in the journal marine mammal science yeah elon's gonna be like so we've given two billion dollars for gay whale porn

Speaker 1 so we only have one photo one photo to prove if they if they had a lot of films that could make money on porn hub then we'd keep it going but we got one pick one it's not worth it you can't even open up an only

Speaker 1 Yeah, that sucks, dude. That's ridiculous.
You know, there's an OnlyFans. I just saw this morning

Speaker 1 one of the girls on Harry Potter started an OnlyFans. Uh-oh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know

Speaker 1 her. I don't know.
Harry Potter's got less hair on it. That's all I'm saying, dude.
That's all I'm saying. Allegedly.
And these are rumors. I don't remember the girl's name.
It wasn't Hermione.

Speaker 1 It wasn't the number one stunner. Oh.
Jesse Cave. Jesse Cave.
Hermione. Jesse Cave.

Speaker 1 Harry Potter star Jesse Cave says she's now one of OnlyFans now, and her reason why is pretty understandable. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's understandable. I think she said she wanted a new roof or something, like she was going to do some home remods.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which, by the way, I've done some home remods. It's expensive, dude.
Oh, it's 50 racks for a roof. It's probably 30, 30 racks for a roof, maybe.
Yeah, oh, dude. No, I just did it.
It's 80. Nah, uh.

Speaker 1 80 for

Speaker 1 my roof. Yeah.
How strong is it? It's a really, I guess, a really strong one. Oh.
There's, what do they call those clay shells? What are they called? Or those three little pigs roofers?

Speaker 1 We used to have that group. Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we didn't get that. I wonder if I could start an OnlyFans just showing off my calves.
Oh, yeah. You know, I only got four toes.
Nuh. Fell off in the bathtub, homie.

Speaker 1 After the accident? After the accident.

Speaker 1 My dad was missing a nut or something. One of his little arms or finger.
Finger, they call it.

Speaker 1 Hand arms yeah a little one of the hand arms uh dude yeah i got hit by i got hit by a trans am when i was a kid not to the effect of you with a with trans am was it was that have the the firebird on it it was um silver transam bring it up silver trans am 19

Speaker 1 i would say probably 85 pulled up an 85 trans am it had aftermarket well that's kind of sick that's a cool car to get hit by it had an aftermarket hood on it and joe dirt was driving it and that's why you're like i've got to work with spade i got slammed right this is sick dude i actually wouldn't I wouldn't mind owning that car.

Speaker 1 That bitch was tough. Yeah, that's a sick car to get hit by.
But you have a cool old car, don't you? No, I used to have, I mean, not even old. It was like, I just didn't buy a new one.

Speaker 1 I used to have a Camaro. Oh, yeah.
That's what you had. Yeah, I had a, but it was like 2010.
Yeah, there's my foot. There's my foot.
That's my foot. God, and it's darker, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it was just the lighting.

Speaker 1 It's pretty normal looking. I mean, normal for my legs.
It looks fast. Yeah, it looks like those toes can grab something.
Like I can reach out, like you throw me a ball, and I go, Yeah,

Speaker 1 just snag it out of the air. But they, they can't catch things, they're just regular toes.
Uh, it fell, it fell out. Uh, it fell off.

Speaker 1 I've told this on my podcast, but um, it fell off in the bathtub when I was masturbating for one of the first times in my life. You're lying.
Seventh grade, I was masturbating.

Speaker 1 I just learned that my penis did tricks, and I was playing with it, and uh, it fell off in the bathtub, dude. Baby, girl, why? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And what, I don't understand how did it, were you taking blood flow from that area in your wing? Like, what was happening?

Speaker 1 It was hanging on by a thread, and they said that it was either going to

Speaker 1 grow, like attach, and

Speaker 1 it was going to be fine, or more than likely, it was so sharred, charred, it was just lifeboat. It was just going to flop off.

Speaker 1 And it was, I mean, this is gross, but it was maybe one of the first times I ejaculated. And I'm in this bathtub, and I'm like, oh, this is gross.
There's stuff in here. And now I'm in this bathtub.

Speaker 1 And then I see

Speaker 1 the toe going. The little toe just floating in the glunk.
No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And did they meet up? They were, yeah, they were swimming together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was pretty nasty.

Speaker 1 Kind of a nasty

Speaker 1 think that it would be able to help it. Yeah, you all of a sudden it just like

Speaker 1 all of a sudden it grows a toenail.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 all of a sudden it was like it turns beautiful pink and I just reattach it.

Speaker 1 I screamed out and then my mom came in and it was like, huh, what? And I'm like, my toe. And then she's trying to fish the toe out.
And I'm like, get out of here. Get out.

Speaker 1 It was wild.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you tell your, well, now your mom knows what happened.
Have you masturbated since then or no?

Speaker 1 Yeah, a few times, a couple of times. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do. I do.
I'm not afraid to admit. Yeah.
Yeah. I like it.
I think it's normal. I like it.
I don't like it that I used to like it, and now I'm like, what are we doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I understand that, and I get that, and that's how a normal man should be. But I'm like, when I'm away, like, I, you know, wife and kid at home now, if I'm on the road doing something, I'm like,

Speaker 1 daddy's alone. Yeah.
You know, some sweet treats. Time for some hand magic.
They stopped giving lotion in hotels. A lot of hotels, they don't have the lotion nearby.
Really?

Speaker 1 They used to have a small free thing of lotion. They used to always have the lotion.
Now, the last few hotels I've been in, nice hotels, they don't have the lotion.

Speaker 1 I think too many people were jerking off.

Speaker 1 They were like trying to cut the jerk off numbers. They're trying to knock those down.
I wonder if there's a shortage or something. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 It's probably Doge. Yeah.
Like, what are we doing? We're spending all this money on lotion. Like, no more.
We spend $4 billion

Speaker 1 on lotion? How do we subsidize lotion, dude?

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Speaker 1 Man, the mainstream media is a big machine. I believe that that's conclusive.
There's no more debating that. They shape stories.
They hide parts.

Speaker 1 So we're never really seeing the whole picture. Before you know it, you're stuck in this echo chamber, just getting one side of the story over and over.
That's how the algorithms work.

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You compare it all in one spot and think for yourself.

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I've never seen anything like it, actually. I think it's kind of what we've all been wanting.

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Speaker 1 Dude, some of the things Doge busted were insane, though. Yeah, it is, it is funny.
You know, one of them was like $2 million to eliminate some of the alphabet from like Mozambique or whatever.

Speaker 1 It was like, what? Isn't Doge a mean coin? I thought it was. So it's funny that it's also like we're going with this for the name.

Speaker 1 Like, whoever owns the Doge coin is probably kind of stoked that they got, they're getting all this free pub free publicity for sure yeah because they just started advertising it yeah for all those things rock bottom dude um you know what I will say this because um

Speaker 1 they need different types of um because your gemstone character his job is he's a youth pastor yeah well now I think he's just uh he runs like a sect of the church called Prism so it's very inclusive so like if you're gay or non-binary or whatever something someone who's been othered by society, you now can join Prism

Speaker 1 and God's light will shine through me and I shoot the rainbow onto you. Ooh,

Speaker 1 baby. I love that.

Speaker 1 We need that. We need,

Speaker 1 like, when I was younger, there's only like a couple types of gay guys kind of. There was like, or it just seemed like there was.
Now we need more like,

Speaker 1 you know, you need more.

Speaker 1 There's all different types. There's all different types now.
I understand what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Like when you're a kid, what you see on on like movies and and stuff there's only like like a secret gay guy yeah there's a secret like don't tell and then like a gay guy who's so straight telltale tell you're like

Speaker 1 he's not gay and then the the most flamboyant man alive yeah yeah and then a woodpecker and then a woodpecker yeah or yeah a guy who would just come to yeah a guy who's like who's just waking people up yeah will not shut up about how gay they are yeah who keeps just talking about jessica simpson all the time they i mean if you were to pick

Speaker 1 that would would maybe the last pop star that I was going to think you're going to pull out of the crate.

Speaker 1 But yeah, but I mean, but now there's like gay construction workers. There's gay, like, people that are archers.
Yeah, I think there always kind of was.

Speaker 1 But now,

Speaker 1 you know, now you know. Yeah, yeah, now it's.
And now you can even in church have a gay section of church, right?

Speaker 1 Apparently, according to.

Speaker 1 The Righteous Gemstones, I don't know if other churches are doing this. I think they should.

Speaker 1 They should allow, if there's, just, you know, or maybe they they don't have to make it exclusive or inclusive, just make it, but I don't even think you need a section.

Speaker 1 Right, that's it, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now there's more, like, yeah, there's just more gay people everywhere now and more common.
I like to see even more.

Speaker 1 Like, I would love to see gay train conductor or that's what my dad was. Really? Yeah, he's a train conductor.
Uh-uh. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think, you know what I'm sick of is you watch a movie. I wonder if he hit my friend, dude.

Speaker 1 I mean, now that you say it, it rings a bell for me.

Speaker 1 He didn't hit your friend, but he did.

Speaker 1 He has murdered people. Really? Yeah.
With a train? With a train. Unreal.
With a train.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he would say that you go. He was like, it's so gross.

Speaker 1 Obviously. And my dad's so funny.
He's like, yeah, tell you what. I'm like a little kid.
He's told me this story. He's like, hit a hobo.
And I'm like, oh, what? And he's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh, is he alive? I'm a little kid. So I'm like, is he alive? And he's like, no.
Looked underneath the train. I'm like, geez, looks like ground beef.

Speaker 1 I was like, we can make, grill up some burgers with this bum. And I'm like, geez, chill, dude.
This is a human being. Who wants a bum on a bum? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So he, uh, yeah, so he's murdered.
Bum fights. How about bum with fries, huh?

Speaker 1 Like, like, what, dude? I can't believe a happy meal.

Speaker 1 A very unhappy meal.

Speaker 1 Where was he? And what district was he hitting people in or what section of the country? Did he even. I think this was Iowa, Nebraska

Speaker 1 zones. Yeah, so that's a good area to, if you, if, you know,

Speaker 1 I feel like bums be passing out on train tracks there. That if you were to think of like a classic

Speaker 1 bums be sleeping on train tracks, that would is you think of that area. That's the realm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Why do people, it amazes me that people get hit on train tracks.

Speaker 1 It's like, that's the only place you can be five feet away from there. Just don't fall asleep there.
Like, why there? I don't know. I wonder if it's warm.

Speaker 1 Maybe the tracks are, they conduct some warmth because the trains go up and down them. Maybe.
I was just also maybe 15 feet away. Right.
Right. And maybe.
And cover yourself up.

Speaker 1 You know how there's usually rocks along the side? Just cover yourself up with the rocks. Yeah.
Off to the side. Right.

Speaker 1 I'd say warm. That seems.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look at this warm guy under these rocks, huh? Yeah, dude.
I think, do you think you would be a good homeless person?

Speaker 1 Let me think for a second.

Speaker 1 I think you get the hang of it quick. I think I would commandeer an area of a park.
That's what I would do.

Speaker 1 I would find a park, stay in it for a couple of days and see like an area where nobody really goes. See, that's the hard part because in LA, there's people everywhere.

Speaker 1 You gotta, you gotta go, you know, and maybe some of these fires were, I mean, I don't know. I'm not pointing blame, but like it would make sense.

Speaker 1 I know if I was a homeless guy, I'd be up in them hills, man. I'd be up in them hills.
I'd be covered in like coyote skins. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 I've gone on some hunts. Yeah.
Right. And you're just, and then you have a little bonfire and you're just roasting coyotes and stuff for food.
Yoats. They call them.

Speaker 1 Roasting some yodis. Yeah, roasting some yodis.
And then, and then you maybe have your own little like barbecue stand, but only for other homeless people.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh shit, I got to roll up in them hills, get some yots, get a Yol's burger. Ron's slinging yotes, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ron's got a fresh batch of yoat on the grill. Yeah, so that's kind of what I think I would, I'd be doing.
So you'd be high-end homeless then.

Speaker 1 Well, I think if you're going to be homeless, you want to be high-end. But they're going to call the police immediately.

Speaker 1 Poor people would just be like, oh, there's a, you know, that's going to be me in a week.

Speaker 1 But rich people, like, get this guy out. Yeah, get this guy out of here.
But you have to be so up in the hills they don't even know you're there. Oh, I see what you're doing.

Speaker 1 And you're, and you're, you know, you're killing yoats, so you're like doing a service. Like, rich people don't want yotes around because they kill the dog.
They kill like little dogs and stuff.

Speaker 1 You could tell them straight up, hey, I'm going to be back behind your house. I'll live back there.
Every now and then, if you have some used Burberry or whatever, throw it back there.

Speaker 1 I think that's how you have to do it because you don't want anyone. No one wants just someone living right behind their house and they don't know the guy.
Like you want to be like, hey, what's up?

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up? I'm Theo. I'm going to be living directly behind your house.
I'm going to be on the lookout for yotes. Yep.
I'll be calm. I'll be quiet.
I'll fend off woodpeckers. You'll sleep.

Speaker 1 If you got like a dirty blanket or something that you don't want anymore, throw it, toss them away. Back of limes or something.
But I'm not asking for anything. I'm not asking.
I'm just out here.

Speaker 1 I'm protecting your home. Honestly, if you hear somebody singing Jewel once in a while, that's me.
Yes. Just singing these

Speaker 1 foolish games.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, that's a beautiful song.
So they might do it. Yeah, I think there is a way to live symbiotically with homeless people.

Speaker 1 I think the problem is in some districts, homeless people start to battle against each other. Homeless territory.
Can you bring up some of that? Homeless people like that. Territorial fights.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. There's straight wars, dude.
Well, there's a lot of that.

Speaker 1 And there was a group of homeless people that attacked a Renaissance fair one weekend. Really?

Speaker 1 And you couldn't tell who's who?

Speaker 1 Like, you don't know who's fighting who. You're like, either he's a Renaissance guy or he's homeless.
I know he's covered in fur and eating a turkey leg, but that's either a turkey leg or a yoat leg.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure which one it is. The yoats are thick, homie.
That's all I'm saying. You got some thick yoats in them hills.
Let's go to this quarrel right there.

Speaker 1 It says at the top when it says, do homeless people ever get territorial? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Most hobos have a campsite, tread softly. They know the area extremely well.
And I've seen a couple of really interesting alert systems. Alert systems.

Speaker 1 I've heard of somebody who's trapped, but never encountered that myself.

Speaker 1 Okay. And I like that on this forum,

Speaker 1 we're bringing back the word hobo because I don't think hobo is a derogatory term. In fact, if I was homeless, you know how now you have to say

Speaker 1 there's like a new term for homeless? It's called like unhoused. Unhoused, I think.
Right.

Speaker 1 I think hobo's better. Hobo is like a fun, like you think you have a stick and a knapsack.
You're riding the rails.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like a more fun term. I personally.
Who's got a tangerine for Danny? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Yeah, that's the kind of shit. Yeah.
Oh, God, being a hobo. My buddy rode on trains.

Speaker 1 He jumped train cars for a little while. I think that'd be fun to do.

Speaker 1 He said, one of the problems is, though, though this is one of the big mistakes that hobos make because are hobos technically people that ride the trains is that who it is that rings a bell bring up hobos how do they travel most my dad said that part of his job was to go up walk up and down the trains and kick them out and my dad was like i'd let him sleep oh that's a good man it's just crazy that your dad what's up dennis That your dad hit people with trains and then you got hit by something.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A hobo is a migrant worker in the United States. Hobos, tramps, and bums are generally regarded as related, but distinct.
A hobo travels and is willing to work.

Speaker 1 A tramp travels, but avoids work if possible. A bum neither travels nor works.
Yeah. So, but yeah, bums, that kind of, I mean, you don't want to be called a bum.

Speaker 1 If they call you a bum, you're like offended. I don't travel.
I don't work. I don't do anything.
A hobo is like, hey, I'm getting out there. I'm mixing it up.
I'm willing to work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm willing to work. Willing to work.
I'll travel. Yeah, we'll travel.

Speaker 1 But the hope, I think one of the things is a lot of them die in the train cars because they close the door and they don't realize that they can't unlock it from the inside.

Speaker 1 And it gets super hot or super cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, my dad says sometimes they're grain cars and you can climb up and then the grain is like open and you can climb in and then you sink into the grain.
No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they'll die that way too.

Speaker 1 Took your coat off and stood in the grain. I don't know that song.
Was that something you just made up? Crazy

Speaker 1 bad. This is a little more jewel.
Oh, dude. I wish I knew more jewel.
I wish I had a deeper knowledge of jewel. You know, my house was

Speaker 1 just broken into the other day, dude. What? Yeah.
My house was... The house we just saw the photo in with the baby in the boat in the boat.

Speaker 1 Different house, different house. I have a house in Hollywood.
And

Speaker 1 yeah, they broke into my house in and out in under eight minutes. Pros.

Speaker 1 That's a long eight minutes. Eight minutes.
Bang. Adam Devine cops take a scary spill.
This is the second part of this story. Okay.

Speaker 1 So the, so then I get, they robbed my house and then I, they totally destroyed my security system. By the way, security system didn't do shit.
They dismantled it like that.

Speaker 1 These guys are pros. They just came in, they cut some wires, it was done.
And

Speaker 1 then they were gone. So I'm like, I've got to redo my security system.
So I pay for them to come and set up the whole thing again. And

Speaker 1 then the the cops come because

Speaker 1 they didn't do it right. The alarm goes off.
I'm out of town. So the cops come, they're checking the property.

Speaker 1 This poor cop falls 15 or so feet, uh, like trying to check out my property, breaks his arm. No.
Gun goes flying, baton goes in a bush,

Speaker 1 dude. Did they catch it? It's a gnarly fall.
No, so when the alarm goes off, uh there was no one there.

Speaker 1 I get a call and the cop's like, hey, do you mind if we walk through your your doors unlocked? I'm like, oh, did I get robbed again for the second time in two weeks? And he's like,

Speaker 1 can I walk through your property? So I'm like, sure.

Speaker 1 He walks through. I don't get a call.
And then my neighbor calls me and he's like, hey, is everything okay? He sends me a video of this. I'll show you later of this cop.

Speaker 1 absolutely eating shit.

Speaker 1 I felt so bad for him. Also, like, you don't want the cops to hate you.
I'm like, and did he fall off of something, off of a ledge or something?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so how they broke into my house was what also where they were checking. You can climb up the side of this hill to get in my bedroom.
And they like smashed a window to get in, but

Speaker 1 the cops, when they put the window back in, my contractor didn't lock my door like a fucking bonehead, right?

Speaker 1 Like a hobo. Like a true hobo move.
That's more of a tramp move. Yeah, that is a tramp.
That's a tramp move. Bum move, almost.
Yeah, almost.

Speaker 1 I won't say that because that's too offensive to my contractor, but that was a tramp.

Speaker 1 Why'd you do it? Yeah. So

Speaker 1 the cop went what? One cop went in the house, didn't find anyone lurking. And then the other cop, I guess he was being a nice dude.
He was like, I got some mud on my shoes.

Speaker 1 I don't want to tramp through this guy's home. So he tries to climb back down, split splat, falls 15 feet.
He gets up, his arms kind of dangling like this. And the other cop is down there.

Speaker 1 He's like, are you okay? He doesn't say, you know, when you're in a lot of pain yeah you don't say a word like a lot of like you make a sound that doesn't have any sound yeah it's like

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 and so he didn't say anything and i was like oh this guy's he's not feeling right

Speaker 1 yeah felt bad for the poor guy and did the burglars steal a lot of things that were important or no no they i mean it was just like tvs and shit not even they were like they were like in and out in eight minutes they stole like my wife's purses and stuff which by the way i didn't know how much purses were i was a little offended that this this woman has this many purses.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, there's just a few purses. And then she told me how much purses cost.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 you got to stop buying purses, lady. Yeah, damn.
You're not going to have anything to put in the purses. Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, oh, the point of a purse is to hold the things that are important.

Speaker 1 But evidently, the important thing is the outside. I didn't know that.
That's kind of crazy. It's kind of an anomaly for what life is like or whatever.

Speaker 1 I don't know if anomaly is the right word, but that's unbelievable, dude. Yeah.
Yeah, so it sucks. It's the second time that house has been robbed.
I'm a little bummed.

Speaker 1 I wonder if that's just happening more now. Do you hear your neighbors and stuff talking about it or not? Yeah.
So Blake in his neighborhood has been a lot of thieves in the midst as well.

Speaker 1 They're saying it's like gangs. Like gangs are coming in and they know their shit.
Because these guys took my internet down. They had an internet blocker.
So they pulled up, disconnected the internet.

Speaker 1 So that way the alarms won't go off or anything. Yeah.
And so they, well, the alarm would go off, but the like ring cameras went down.

Speaker 1 So, like, I didn't even know. I didn't even know it was robbed until my gardener was like cleaning and was gardening.
And he was like, Mr.

Speaker 1 Adam, I don't think there should be a hole in your window, but it was right after those big winds we had, the El Niños,

Speaker 1 the Santa Ana's. He's been through a lot.
And I was like, did a rock fly through the window? Yeah, what could have happened? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, what flew through? Did a mango, did an orange fly through this window? Was it a run-by-fruit team? You know, but it wasn't. It was a criminal organization.
God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. I wonder if they're tracking people, knowing when people are out of town, if they're like, especially if they're actors and stuff, if they're working at certain times, or just

Speaker 1 a brave move just to climb up somebody's balcony and see what's going on. Dude, it was at 8.21 p.m.

Speaker 1 Like a time when people are out walking dogs and stuff. So, yeah, they were.
It would have been home. Yeah, it would have been home.

Speaker 1 Cheeto Vera just had somebody pull up on him. You see that video?

Speaker 1 he's a ufc fighter and he was working in his truck this is pretty crazy professional ufc fighter cheeto vera was working in his truck as a man with what appears to be a knife tried approaching him oh dude well i mean first of all you see this guy working on his truck he's got neck tattoos yeah this dude pulls up pulls a knife out right here oh look at that knife crazy

Speaker 1 Oh, he's so lucky he didn't get shot in the back.

Speaker 1 Like, just like

Speaker 1 Murder Town, USA. It shows you two UFC guys that they're ready.
They take defense first. Dude, he has a shotgun just laying on his front.
Like, that was so easily grabbable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, that's, that's, I mean, you're ready. You're ready.
Those UFC guys are ready, dude. If you even fucking whisper to them wrong, you hit the wrong octave during a secret and those guys will ready.

Speaker 1 They just, all of a sudden, they just got like throwing stars, just like think, think, think, thing. Oh, they will remodel the way you breathe, dude.

Speaker 1 You have to really, you got to be careful around those guys. They're severe.
I feel like I couldn't, I mean, I own a gun. It's so tucked away.
I would never.

Speaker 1 You got to put both legs down,

Speaker 1 put like this.

Speaker 1 If you don't know if it's really a strong kickback, have your wife lean against your back like this with her arm up. So it's a lot.
It's a lot to do. Right.
But you guys are prepared as a team then.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you got to pop off.
I think if somebody,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't know. It's like, if somebody came in your room, what would you do? Say you wake up, right? You think there's somebody in your room at the end? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I would like to think

Speaker 1 I'm ready, ready to go. You say something first?

Speaker 1 Good evening. What do you do? Well, I was home.
My alarm kept fucking up because when they redid it, they fucked up. So it would just go off, which is terrifying.

Speaker 1 And I'm up there staying by myself, and it was like

Speaker 1 1 a.m. I'm like trying to go to sleep.
And all of a sudden, the alarm goes off. After the burglary in your house.
After the burglar, burglary. And I go, hello.
Yeah. I like lower.

Speaker 1 I like lower.

Speaker 1 I lower my voice. I'm like, sound not like me.
I sound a little try.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's so I'm like, hello.

Speaker 1 I've got a gun. I'm like, I don't have a gun.

Speaker 1 I sound like Peter Griffin, dude. Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 I've got a gun.

Speaker 1 Hey, Woolis. Yeah, I sound like

Speaker 1 a guy who didn't make it on the Sopranos. Like he auditioned, but did not get cast.
I've got a gun. I've got a gun.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I'm doing a bad dice. Hey, watch out.
Oh, I got a gun.

Speaker 3 I'll shoot you.

Speaker 1 You start playing that video from Home Alone. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The burglars. These dirty animals.

Speaker 1 Keep the jay.

Speaker 1 They're laughing so hard in the other room, the burglars. Yeah, they're still stealing all my shit.
Just like, this guy's good, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that. We got to steal from here more often.

Speaker 1 Will you keep a home?

Speaker 1 God, you've had a life riddled with things, man. Yeah, dude.
I didn't realize that. I'm riddled.
You've had a lot of riddling going on.

Speaker 1 Will you keep a home in Charleston? Are you glad to be gone from Charleston?

Speaker 1 I'm going to miss Charleston. I wish I would have bought a place there just so I had more of a reason to go back all the time.

Speaker 1 And also not a lot of crime there. So I probably would have been safe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have you been? Have you spent any time in Charleston? I lived in Charleston for a while.
Oh, you did?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hitchhiked up there to chase a girl that I was in love with that almost had, almost, didn't have to get a cease and restraining or whatever, but it got close to,

Speaker 1 you know, just loitering late at night.

Speaker 1 That's okay. It was a little rear window situation.

Speaker 1 We've all been through some things, right? Yeah, yeah. It was college.

Speaker 1 You were practicing for an upcoming role of a stalker

Speaker 1 what i was just this is act i'm an actor i'm researching a role

Speaker 1 like we haven't been we haven't seen you in any roles yeah i know i'm only 17 and i

Speaker 1 i'm not i've never acted anything nor do i have a career how do you expect me to get a role yeah i've got to practice but that was um yeah i love it there i mean it's amazing um yeah um danny mcbride said that you and uh tony would go and work out a lot over there was that a real thing Yeah, we were, well, he's like a fucking true athlete.

Speaker 1 He's got like a real jawline.

Speaker 1 Mine like ebbs and flows. Yeah, look, he's all jacked.
Look at that guy. He's real jacked and juicy.

Speaker 1 I'm less jacked and less juicy, but I do. What's weird is we work out together.
We would work out together all the time, and his body morphed into that.

Speaker 1 And I look like how I look like, you know, like a regular guy. Yeah, like a guy.
Yeah. Like it's just a guy you see and you're like, I bet he eats cheeseburgers.
Yeah. You know, that guy's okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 With me, with me? I think people are like, yeah, I hope that guy's, you know. Like, you think I look like I'm not okay? No, I think you seem like,

Speaker 1 oh, I hope that guy's okay. I'm trying to think of a job that I would see.
Say if I saw you, oh, mailman, son of,

Speaker 1 son of mailman, proud, proud, son of a mailman who's trying to make his father proud. Mailboy.
I like that. Mailboy.

Speaker 1 And I'm not offended. Yeah.
I'm not offended by that. Okay.
Yeah. Appreciate it.
I think that's a fair assessment of what I look like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I look like where you're like, ah, maybe that guy works out. My neighbor hilariously saw me.
She's like a, she's the daughter of the people that live next door to me.

Speaker 1 And she's, was like 22. And she saw me working out in my garage.
Sometimes I work out in my garage and I have my shirt off. And she, she stopped and she goes, oh, hey.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, hey, how's it going? And she goes, wow, I didn't know you worked out.

Speaker 1 Offended, dude. That's an offensive thing to say to someone.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, but I do. Yeah.
It's like if you show somebody your wiener, like a chick, you're weaning. Like, I didn't know you'd have a wiener.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 That's a, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. I think it's fairly obvious that I don't have one of those.
Yeah. Then I need to get some different clothes, I think, or some hair.

Speaker 1 Spruce up. Yeah.
I need to

Speaker 1 grow the facial hair out. Spruce down.
Yeah. Dude, can you believe that male is still a thing? Getting male.

Speaker 1 Can you believe that right now, as we talk, sometime today, a man, a grown man or grown woman that looks like me, that's just trying to make my father proud. Yeah, that looks like you.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm making my father proud. He's like, he's going to see me delivering this mail, and he's going to.

Speaker 1 He's going to look at me and be like, look at this bright shooting star. He's going to see me as Danny McBride at that party walking through the cloud of smoke.

Speaker 1 You're a bright shooting star as I'm sliding some mail through a slot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But can you believe somebody's going to do that today instead of just emailing us and telling us what they need to tell us?

Speaker 1 Somebody's going to drive over to our house. Yeah, it's right.

Speaker 1 Walk up there, risk getting attacked by a dog because that's all they do all day is battle dogs. Dogs hate mailmen.
Battle dogs, battle senior citizens, and gangs that are like, fuck mail. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like, give me that fucking mail. By the way, there's never anything good in mail.
It's either like a ticket. It's like, oh, I got to pay this thing.
Like, they finally tracked me down.

Speaker 1 Or a coupon. Or or just a, or just a coupon for a place you never want to go to.
Yeah. They're like, hey, you want a car detail? Drive two and a half hours to this place and I'll give you $15 off.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, fucking, I don't know. Is that worth it? I feel like the gas is going to offset the discounts.

Speaker 1 And there's even a lot of the things now. It's like, are you interested in foster care?

Speaker 1 It's just like the, it used to just be like discounts on avocados and stuff, but now it's like the mail has gotten really, really crazy, man. It's gotten pretty rogue, I feel like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for me, it's all just like, hey, do you want to buy your neighbor's house? Yeah. Because it's all just like people going, like,

Speaker 1 here, here's a house in your neighborhood that you can buy. And I'm like, I already live in my neighborhood.
I'm not trying to move three houses down. I already live in this neighborhood, dude.

Speaker 1 Quit fucking telling me about a house that's nearby.

Speaker 1 You know, that's so true. It's like, if I'm living in a house, you would think you wouldn't come advertise to me to buy a house next, like next door.

Speaker 1 Or like, maybe go like hey do you want to live somewhere cooler than like if you're it's kind of a whatever neighborhood and you're like you want to live in like a slightly better neighborhood i'll think about it yeah but it's like literally my neighborhood you've done some fun things man you got to do some wrestling recently is that right oh do you see that dude yeah bring it up yeah dude i did some choke slam a you know you did a great job i know i saw that right there a you watch gym so star adam devine hits up aew wow look at this is this a stiff person i don't think so jack is that a stiff person those jeans were hanging on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Those jeans were hanging on by a thread right there.
Oh, the butt cheeks. Gabo!

Speaker 1 Woo!

Speaker 1 Flexing with all my might, flexing with all my might. You'd have been a good wrestler, man.
Thank you for saying that, dude. Or a mailman.

Speaker 1 Look at this, dude. Now you guys all kind of look like Tony right there.
I feel like you're all giving a lot of Tony Cavallero energy right there. Yeah.
I got to get Tony in here soon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get him in here.

Speaker 1 He's a good guy. He's one of a kind, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He checks in on me all, like, not all, but every couple of months he'll check in and just say hey what a sweetheart you know he's just a sweet man do you know him i know him pretty decently yeah yeah good i do know him i've i've really uh yeah he's an exceptional guy

Speaker 1 he just he has a way of always staying positive it seems like he's one of those guys that uh

Speaker 1 that it's it's nice i collect those guys like as my friends i like to have some people that just hype you up you know because adam ray is like that as well and i adam used to open up for me on the road all the time and it was nice when you're on the road to have some you know you're kind of like oh man we got to travel again today yada yada to just have someone be like how great is this right how sick is this theater like yes like you need somebody to be the positive

Speaker 1 hype you up and you're like yeah it is sick look at look at us go get in here buddy yeah i've got guys like amir kay comes with me oh yeah dude amir amir's a positive guy lee kimbrell he comes through the kentucky nightmare i think is his nickname or something um kentucky wolf cat or something but he comes through and they're both have good energy just positive they're like

Speaker 1 let's go do something and i do too but it's like yeah i just get like you just they're like both we're pretty positive guys you just got to get ready for the show though it's like you know it's like i spend a lot of my time taking care of myself like you're saying

Speaker 1 stretching stretching i'll get into town it's like yeah stretching getting an ice bath trying to work out getting an ice bath with a you fucks with a cold plunge all of it dude me too i was in it last night night i like a cold plunge it's so nice what you keep your cold plunge at me i keep it right at about 54.

Speaker 1 oh i'll do 10 minutes in there 10 minutes i i keep it at 40 and i'll do three to five oh 40 is baby baby that's cold that's ice ice cold and i uh i really can't stay it's cold outside

Speaker 1 that isn't that song just like about like like rape or something they said it was allegedly about date like it's like pricking a girl in a staying oh that's you yeah there i am that's at your house house yeah it's at my house

Speaker 1 yeah dude look that's a nice one huh yeah renew they're they're they're great dude they are yeah renew cold plunges they're pretty fantastic i got a blue cube one that i keep in my garage that that they uh a friend of mine made but they're both um

Speaker 1 yeah they're they're great uh and cold plunging it's the kind of thing though that

Speaker 1 I wish now that I have it, I do it less. I feel like I used to seek it out.
Oh, really? Yeah, now that it's there, I'm like,

Speaker 1 I could get in it right now, or I'll get in it later. It'll be later.
Yeah, you know what? I should do, I should just crank the heat up on it because it's so cold. It's like

Speaker 1 you get it, like your joints are like,

Speaker 1 make it a hot bath in there, you think? No, just make it 52 or whatever. Oh, yeah, I like doing that for 10 minutes.
That for me sets me in a good range, you know.

Speaker 1 Um, isn't it weird that now we're like all about health and fitness, but it catches 10 years ago and we were just like little scum buckets. Oh, just out there.

Speaker 1 I know myself, I was just like gargling with vodka. Just like,

Speaker 1 what are you eating?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude. Just going for it.
Dude, every night. Were you drinking a lot? I drink.
Yeah, I would drink a lot. Wow.
Where were you drinking at? Well, just like at that comedy club or whatever.

Speaker 1 Like back when I was, I mean, maybe not 10. Yeah, maybe 10 years ago, but like that's when Worgolix was sort of peaking.
So probably right. You've been working for a long time.
Yeah, like anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but anything like back when I was in the comedy clubs all the time or like when you're you're on the road all the time, that's an easy place just because you're in a new place and you're like, well, let's go to the bar after the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's for sure. Did you guys drink at AEW? Who'd you guys fight in AEW? Did you fight? Because I saw Big Justice out there.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was looking at the Rizzler and I'm like, I might be able to take him. I saw him the other night.
Yeah, he's nine years old. Rizzler's everywhere, dude.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think I offended these guys, Big Justice, and

Speaker 1 because I said I didn't even take a bite of the cookie. And then I said, look at it at Big Justice's eyes.
because I said he's upset because I gave it three booms without tasting it.

Speaker 1 And I guess you're supposed to give it five booms. What? Who has time to do five booms? They do.
They have all the time to do the booms, dude. And I didn't know.

Speaker 1 This was at the Super Bowl. I might have been a few drinks, Steve.
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 You're touching the back of a child. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm touching a child.

Speaker 1 Look at like

Speaker 1 my face is hanging a little bit. Dude, this looks like literally a Christmas card from Epstein's Island right here, dude.

Speaker 1 There's a fucking, there is a brave Italian, which some people would say like kind of the Magellan of Costco. There's a Costco Magellan with a child.
Okay.

Speaker 1 With just his son, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is his son. I believe so.
Okay. I believe so.
And then there's Adam Devine who's had a couple of drinks. Just lurking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, lurking, dude.

Speaker 1 Would you, if you were, I mean, real talk, if you didn't know Epstein was a creep and he invites you, he's just a cool billionaire that you met at a party and you're not getting any weird vibes.

Speaker 1 He asks you, he's like, hey, I got this jet. You want to come to my island? You got nothing going on that week.
You'd go to the island, right? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Me too. When people are like, check the logs, I'm like, not everybody, because even creeps got to take a day off.
Like even, you're not fucking the kids every day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's probably a seasonal or like

Speaker 1 a special event. Right.

Speaker 1 Or it's like just when your dudes are there to party it's like but otherwise you have to also have like regular people come regular because here's the thing you have to keep up the ruse that it's a regular place where people go to have fun that's what i think so that the guys who do go and perv or the females that do go and perv out there

Speaker 1 because it could have been men and women that doing it and i'm not talking about the young people we don't know but the adults they need to be able to trick their spouses into believing that they go there and they're like you've been there the one time you know it's a chill place there's coconuts yeah there's coconuts and and trees ukulele there's like that guy doing the ukulele there's the fire dancers that come out and perform yeah there's a regular there's like a lot of young kids whose parents aren't there starting a band or whatever yeah they're just starting a band yeah yeah they're just you know this is getting dark yeah sorry there's a character yeah there's like a guy just doing funny

Speaker 1 yeah yeah he's just doing little artworks where you're like makes your nose too big so that that kind of offends you but you're like it's funny right and everyone's like it's really funny and you're like okay all right yeah all right yeah

Speaker 1 i know i see that and i'm like, I don't know about it. I don't think all of them are creeps.
Like, for sure, some,

Speaker 1 for sure, some are. We haven't gotten, dude.
There's no way we're ever getting the real Epstein files. It's been redacted.
It's being manipulated right now.

Speaker 1 Well, it's because some of these politicians are probably on it. Yeah, they're on it.
And they're like, and whether they were the ones doing dastardly deeds or not, who knows? I don't know. But

Speaker 1 if your name is on it, like if your name was on it, you don't want it out even if you didn't do anything wrong.

Speaker 1 Even though you were just there sipping on a smoothie, you're just having a fun afternoon on this cool private island. Yeah, I haven't been on a ton of private islands.
Oh, dude. I would like to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got invited to one one time. I think it was LeVar

Speaker 1 Burton.

Speaker 1 Was it LeVar Burton? Yeah, maybe. He's a Reading Rainbow guy.
He's got a private island. Does he do the Virgin Airlines or whatever? No, no, that's LeVar Arrington, maybe? No.
That is not his name.

Speaker 1 It's not LeVar, even a little bit.

Speaker 1 Richard Branson. Yes, very much not LeVar.
But yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you went to you went there? No, they were doing something.
He has an island. There was something there.
And they

Speaker 1 I somehow got invited. Oh, sick.
It didn't seem like something that was for me, maybe. I don't know.
It seemed like

Speaker 1 okay. So maybe you wouldn't go to Epstein Island.
Maybe I would be the one to get tricked. But here's the thing.
Say you're at Epstein Island and you notice things are weird. What do you then?

Speaker 1 You just stay on the tennis courts or whatever? Like, what would you do all weekend? Yeah, you're just like, you call yourself the pickleball king.

Speaker 1 You're just always always just over there trying to not see somebody both sides yeah yeah there's no one to hit to because everyone's like ah i'm this back dark room seems a lot of fun um

Speaker 1 yeah and also like the diddy white parties i'm glad i was never during that peak like i was i was talking with my boys i was like dude if we threw out a different vibe from the workaholics days when it was when it was just peaking and that we get the invite like hey do you want to go to the diddy party i'm going all white everything well if shamar more would have been one of the um

Speaker 1 one of the workaholics or if you'd have had like a probably a more of a black cast member urban cast member then you might and say you there's then

Speaker 1 he was more plugged in right territory griffin was a little bit more griffin than eric yeah absolutely then i think then yeah he could have been invited and then if you get there then what do you see they just brought up drew ski in a thing did you see that i did but he then came out he's like dude i had nothing to do with it he was like in 2018 i was living in my mom's basement i'm like yeah that's probably true but it's just crazy why but why even let that leak you have to start thinking if something gets leaked why are they doing like because it's all some manipulative tactic you know yeah and so i don't know i mean who knows obviously there's victims and and people were doing dastardly but you never heard anything about that when you were no i did i you know i just wasn't cool like i i i didn't get those invites i for sure would have gone there and just like kicked it

Speaker 1 by the fucking shrimp cocktail over you yeah you know just might have been like just eating like you know they have like a seafood tower yeah you know this is a ditty party you know there's like towers of seafood so i'm just eating there eating crab legs licking up the butter

Speaker 1 they're like someone's trying to tag me in to the orgy just covered in oil like no you do that thing at your legs you're like i can't because of all the scars i can't uh dick dick chopped off dick was lopped off in the accident uh you do that thing where you know how break dancers, they start to do the break dance, but then they don't get going.

Speaker 1 You know, that's what you do. You're like, oh, shit.
Oh, oh, pull the hammy. Pull the hammy right quick.
I can't get in the orgy. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 That's why I would have been, I would have been like in the vaping section on the side of the orgy. If they're like, oh, if somebody gets hurt, if a couple people get hurt,

Speaker 1 you're deep on the bench. It's like when they put in the water guy to make the three-point shot, or they put him down syndrome guy to make the six-pointer or whatever.

Speaker 1 They tell him it's a six-pointer. That's what I would have been in.
Yeah. You're real deep on the bench when you come, but then you hit that money shot.
You're the hero.

Speaker 1 You're the hero of the whole party. People go crazy.
Yeah. Did you, um, did you get to body slam Big Justice? Did you see the Rizzler? Did you fight him too? I didn't fight the Rizzler.
No.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, I didn't, I didn't get to fight any of the children, which I was bummed. I was bummed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I'm like, someone needs to take these kids down.

Speaker 1 And I'm about their size, dude. I'm not that.

Speaker 1 But no, I only choke slammed an adult male. So that kind of sucked me.
But if you got a chance to remodel the fucking skeleton. Dude, I love this phrase, remodel.
Or

Speaker 1 of one of these boom babies, dude. Take them down.
Yeah. Did they boom in front of you? Who's got the boom now? Right.
Who's got the boom now, bitch? Did they steal the boom?

Speaker 1 Did they boom in front of you or not? There's a lot of booming. They're booming all over.
Anywhere they go, they're booming, dude. Have you not met the boom guys? I never.

Speaker 1 I met the Rizzler the other night at dinner. I saw him.
Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 But, dude, he was drinking Dr. Pepper.
Yeah, past 8:45. I'm like, he's a wild man.
Yeah, I mean, these kids are off the rails.

Speaker 1 But I like that it's a new generation of superstars. Oh, there you are.
We're at Craigs.

Speaker 1 A new generation of superstar children. Like, this used to be like Corey Haim, you know.
Right. Oh, yeah.
He's the Macaulay Colkin of our time. He's the market.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 But it seems like they're not going off the rails. We'll find out here in 15 years if he's going to have like a sad tale about his time.
Well, how does it end? Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 You have to look 10 years into the future. Because he's a superstar, dude.
He does this maneuver. People go wild.
He was crazy. It's his,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 someone already beat you to it. They knew exactly.
The internet, undefeated, man. You have a good idea?

Speaker 1 It's up there.

Speaker 1 They already did it. It's done.
Yeah. Was there a movie that you wanted that? Like, well, yeah, the Rizzo, I mean, I'll tell you this.
He definitely said his grades were failing.

Speaker 1 Somebody's like, his grades suck. That's what I heard.
Oh, really? Yeah. Word at Craigs.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 People were passing around those pot pies they have at Craigs, and they're like, hey, before you take a bite of that, just know the Rizzo. The Rizzo grades must

Speaker 1 suck, dude. Dude, he had a little tattoo that said, fuck social studies.
Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 That's rough.

Speaker 1 That's a wild tat to have at that age. So obviously he's been going through a lot, you know.
He said he, I said, I said, he said, this, these lips haven't seen a school lunch in two years.

Speaker 1 That's what he said. So, obviously, he's living high on the hog, dude.
I don't even know. I thought he was mute because all I've ever seen him do is,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta, it's the shh, he does too many things, though. Kind of,

Speaker 1 I think, I think,

Speaker 1 I think it's just this, right?

Speaker 1 And he's showing his jawline.

Speaker 1 That's what's kind of cool about him is he doesn't have much of a jawline, but I like he's just like, I don't give a shit. I got the Riz, so come, come at me.

Speaker 1 It's like a good way to build up uh self-esteem you know for for children that are out there some people are saying he's young gravey he's the actual young gravy you know young gravy was at the wrestling event too

Speaker 1 yeah the the young and young gravy was at the super bowl where i was also hanging out with big justice oh so that yeah i mean they're running in the same circles dude

Speaker 1 you guys have the same uh menstrual cyclers yeah i guess so yeah But that's crazy. But here's the craziest part to me is that Big Justice isn't related to the Rizzler.

Speaker 1 I thought there were brothers, dude. I thought there were brothers.
These are just two social media kids getting together doing

Speaker 1 their social media things.

Speaker 1 Dude, years from now, there will be

Speaker 1 these baseball card signing things where it'll be like the Rizzler.

Speaker 1 You and me will be there. That'd be sick.

Speaker 1 Water baby or whatever, some baby that survives on like a.

Speaker 1 You know, I think I'm going to do a thing with tops.

Speaker 1 If I have a baseball card. Really? Yeah, you should.
I bet they'll make a baseball card of you. That's kind of sick.
It's kind of cool. It would be kind of cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then these kids, MD Foodie Boys, everybody's been watching. I like those MD Foodie Boys.
I like them because they're so sincere about like, have you tried nachos with jalapenos?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's actually pretty good. Yeah, and watch one.

Speaker 1 I'm just a. If I had the chews, it'd probably be like

Speaker 1 pepperoni, but I'm not a big, I'm not a big, I'm just a regular cheese guy.

Speaker 1 I just do cheese. I don't, I don't do, I just do cheese.
I don't really like pepperoni

Speaker 1 i'll do pepperoni but same thing like yeah lots of like big pepperoni fans

Speaker 1 dude this is the podcast and people love it and i also love it they're just so sincere man how can you not have a

Speaker 1 how can you was there an age where you didn't like you just didn't care it

Speaker 1 it's just you're riled up you're riled up

Speaker 1 dude i've i don't know if i've ever seen you this riled well i don't understand it's like whoa you're the foodie boy dude what are you talking about whoa dude it's okay no it's fine no i like it.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it.
Shit just fucking irks me because

Speaker 1 talk about some food. Talk about some ragatone or something.
Talk about some.

Speaker 1 See, well, this is the genius.

Speaker 1 You start off, they're little kids, right? So they're starting off with like hot dogs. Like what condiments do you like? Do you like on your cheeseburger? What condiments? Mostly condiment-based.

Speaker 1 Now they're moving on to... Pizza.
What things do you like on your pizza? And then as they grow,

Speaker 1 the dishes get more complex. Like a tiramisu or something.
we're gonna grow with them and and their flavor palates

Speaker 1 i think that's i think that's what people love and relate to because it's

Speaker 1 because you're not going to them for an actual like this is the flavor they're not like chefs they're children so it's just kind of funny to watch these kids sincerely talk about

Speaker 1 whether they like pepperoni on their pizza or not got it yeah well i just think um

Speaker 1 yeah i just i don't know there's uh yeah i guess am i hating on children now? What am I doing? You're right. Yeah, it's okay.
I'm excited for them. It's okay.
I'm going to get some soup or something.

Speaker 1 At least I want to see them evolve a little bit. A little spacho or something.
Well, just a four-minute conversation about

Speaker 1 if pepperoni on, but no information.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. It's astounding to have four people and walk away from each conversation they do with zero information at all.
Yeah. About food.
I understand what you're saying. About food at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I understand what you're saying. But I think.
I wish wish them luck. Yeah.
I think they're, I mean, they're runaway successes.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure people look at my career and are like, what is he doing? Like, this sucks. Right.
Like, why doesn't he do XYZ? I'm like, I'm just doing me, baby. There they are right now.

Speaker 1 But how does it end? McLovin, that kid? McLovin, no name. What's the one? McGriddle is the middle one, right? Chub Perm.
Okay, you have no name, McGriddle, Chub Perm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's also, I think that's a, isn't that a trans wrestler?

Speaker 1 it yeah it seems like it could be uh he's got a he's got an earring he's he's kind of the bad boy of the group which is kind of sick they're basically they're the new kids on the

Speaker 1 um on the block yeah yeah uh did you ever have a an ear piercing did you ever yeah two of them did you yeah i did too

Speaker 1 yeah dude that was so fun dude it was we were kind of and it would close up and you would still force something in it on days you needed to feel cool dude i would yeah i try i i wanted to get a gauge i wanted to have like i wanted to be that guy.

Speaker 1 Characters had that, haven't you?

Speaker 1 I wanted a lip-piercing.

Speaker 1 I wanted the whole thing. I wanted to be punk rock, dude.
I mean, I'm fucking, I got an article star tattoo. Oh, you did.
Well, you have a lot of,

Speaker 1 you seem like you've been through a lot. Yeah.
Like a child of a Vietnam, like a Vietnam veteran, somebody who, you know. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I went through, I am happy to say I never went through like, you know how some kids are like, oh, I went through an emo phase or I went through like a goth phase.

Speaker 1 I'm glad I didn't go down like a weird path where you're like, Yeah, I wore a lot of fishnets in seventh grade or whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm glad I didn't do that. I had like small waves where, yeah, I would bleach the tips of my hair.
Right. Yeah, I got a piercing,

Speaker 1 you know, in the left ear. You ever pierced your nipples or no? No, I never did the nips.

Speaker 1 No, I never did that. No, you never did.
That was a little while for me.

Speaker 1 That guy who did that was starting to be, he was doing a lot of drugs and he was secretly probably touching men in his car or whatever. Man who wanted it.
Yeah, i uh i

Speaker 1 i had a friend not a friend a guy i knew in high school uh not a friend not a friend

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 uh he pierces his dick in high school dude in high school and i know for a fact he wasn't getting laid but he was saying like how good it it's gonna like it's gonna feel right and he was saying like it feels so good and i'm like i know you're not getting laid dude we're both 16 17 years old i know that and also, what kind of piercer is seeing a 17, 16-year-old boy and is like, Let me, I'll get, I'll be the one to get in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was the whole thing was bizarre. Do you remember when the first guy hooked up with a girl? And then the next weekend, you guys all went out or something.

Speaker 1 He like suddenly had a condom in his wallet or something, dude. Or it was like, suddenly he was like, he would be like, if the girls come, let me talk to him.
Just like

Speaker 1 it was seventh and eighth grade. My one friend started having sex with our other friend.

Speaker 1 And it was unreal. And it was years,

Speaker 1 dear God, years

Speaker 1 before the rest of us were catching up. And so he like, he was like the literature.
He immediately went from like this kind of our, he was chubperm of our group.

Speaker 1 And then, so, and then suddenly he's got this swagger to him, dude. And there's no catching up.
Yeah. There's no catching up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's nothing you can do to suddenly be in the cool group. And then like he was able to talk to older guys now suddenly.
But it was, I'm still, I'm still rollerblading, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not, I'm still like, hey, watch me backwards rollerblade. Is this sick? And they're like, no, dude.
We're now having sex with girls.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh, so you don't want me, you don't want to watch me like fucking swerve these cones real quick with these hips. He's like, I'm working on my hip movement right now, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, dude. I was a little, I was a little blader.
I was a little blader.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a little bit of a face.

Speaker 1 God, dude. What happened?

Speaker 1 Dude, you're learning a lot about me, dude. What happened to you? There's so much had occurred.

Speaker 1 Dude, well, I couldn't rollerblading was easier in like eighth grade, was easier for me to do than a lot of other skateboard. I couldn't do your body.
I couldn't skateboard.

Speaker 1 Like my friends were skateboarding, so I could rollerblade because it was just a smoother movement and easier on my joints.

Speaker 1 So it was, I was already looking like an old man thinking about my joints in eighth grade. So it's just me like wiggling my hips, skateboarding behind my friends.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that offensive. You don't have to be that disgusted by it.
You're right. And I'm going to be.

Speaker 1 Were you wearing knee pads and stuff? No, no.

Speaker 1 I'm still a bad boy. Yeah, dude.
I'm still like wearing fucking chunky corduroy pants

Speaker 1 and like a fucking

Speaker 1 sick Metallica shirt with the lightning bolts. You know, I'm still fucking cool, dude.
I still have like a bowl cut, but my hair was, was too, like, still, I have my hair is too like buoyant.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it would, it just went like this: dink. Oh, yeah, it was just like a little, like the tip of a dick.
It was like a little dickhead, just like

Speaker 1 right here. And I could pull it, I could pull the hair.
It was so buoyant, I could pull it, and it would go down to here, dude. And then you release it and go,

Speaker 1 damn, you had a beautiful thing going on. Yeah, I was,

Speaker 1 I was looking good in the eighth grade. Man, you've been through a lot, man.
You've been through a lot, dude. Do you,

Speaker 1 do you,

Speaker 1 will your stiffness, is it getting better? Is it getting worse? Do you feel like over time? It's getting better. It ebbs and flows.
I have good days and bad days, but it is getting better.

Speaker 1 So I'm still hoping to

Speaker 1 be in Marvel.

Speaker 1 if they give me a call. I got a lot of shit.
Last time I came on here, I was like dunking on Marvel saying that they ruined comedy movies because everybody wants to watch these big budget things.

Speaker 1 dude. People were very mad at my agents were upset at me.
Really? Since you said that, everyone in the world has agreed with that exactly. Yeah, including a lot of agencies.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, look, if we can't get them in a Marvel movie, what are we going to do? Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, we've had a lot of great. They were very mad at me.
They were like,

Speaker 1 don't, don't fuck with Marvel. Like, I cannot believe you said that on that podcast.
I'm like, I wasn't dunking on Marvel, dude.

Speaker 1 I was just saying, I wish there were more comedies, but they don't make comedies anymore because everyone wants to see a $200 million epic.

Speaker 1 Well, if they need like mailman or something, then Marvel will come. Thank God.
If there's a mailman superhero, I think I'm the guy, dude. What's superhero?

Speaker 1 Making your dad proud. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I would be someone that

Speaker 1 like an unexpected superhero where they're like, this guy, he's not a superhero. This norm core little bitch boy.
Smoothie man or dad. Yeah.
Soy boy. Yeah, soy boy.
There he is. Yeah, little soy boy.

Speaker 1 There's so many heroes now, though. It's like, are these all heroes? We're getting a little exhausted on the heroes.
100%. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, even a lot of people were saying, who was it just came out and said

Speaker 1 that they're not even, it's hard to even have independent projects these days. Oh, yeah.
A director. I'm trying to get a few independent movies off the ground.
Are you? Yeah, and it's.

Speaker 1 It's tough, dude. I didn't, I've never done an independent movie.
I've always done with a studio or with Netflix or with someone like that. Someone with them deep pockets.

Speaker 1 How much budget do you need to make an independent movie, though?

Speaker 1 I'm looking for like seven to ten million dollars. That's a lot of money.
Yeah. This is Mark Dupless right here.
He's made a lot of great stuff. He's made a lot of independent movies.

Speaker 1 Time for a big announcement. Oh.

Speaker 1 But those of you who know our company, you know we love risking our money and making things independently that the traditional system would never make.

Speaker 1 And we've done it for years with movies like The Puffy Chair and The One I Love and Safety Not Guaranteed and documentary series like Wob Wow Country and Evil Genius.

Speaker 1 And we're doing it it in television now, you know, with shows like Room 104 and The Creep Tapes and Penelope. But the problem is

Speaker 1 you work town. I know.
We're like, you really value these things the way they used to. And honestly, we're sick of it.
And we know that you value these things.

Speaker 1 So we are going to be bringing you our newest independently made TV series, The Little Long Night, directly to you, the audience members. It's interesting.
Click the link below or in our box.

Speaker 1 You guys did your movie independently, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you guys put your own money up? Yeah.
Whoo, boy. Okay.

Speaker 1 Uh, well, thanks, dude. Yeah, dude.
What's the name of it? Do you have it's called Bus Boys? Yeah, Bus Boy is sick. So it's just Spade and I both worked as busboys in Arizona.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you were both hit by buses. I was like, this would have been kismet.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Crazy for all here, right here.

Speaker 1 Get Spade in here. He just pops out behind the curtain.
He's like, I'm crippled. And we have a dolly that moves you around.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
I'm just pushing everywhere.

Speaker 1 So what's next? Your family's growing. Do you take a little time off of work? When did you guys finish Gemstones? We finished a few months ago, like three months, four months ago.

Speaker 1 And I've been just dad mode right now. And I have a movie in development at Netflix.

Speaker 1 I'm selling this show with the Workaholics guys. I got another show that I'm taking out.
Wow. So it's a lot of like production, like pre-production stuff.
And you know how it goes.

Speaker 1 It's like, we're going to make the movie. And I have like a couple of movies that are in development.

Speaker 1 And we're like, we're making the movie. movie and then it takes

Speaker 1 years dude yeah years

Speaker 1 and you think it's happening and it takes so long uh but for me i love it i love doing it um

Speaker 1 but yeah i still have that itch of like

Speaker 1 wanting to just get out there and get something done right now and that's why I do the podcast but with the workholics guys this is important but I also miss doing stand-up dude yeah I was gonna say would you consider going out and touring again it's such a that's such a grind though once you have a family and you're acting and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's a tough grind. Well, because it used to be like a fun escape from the grind of

Speaker 1 producing and starring in TV and movies, because then you're like, well, now I'm going to go on the road with my boys, and it's like a party, and we're going to go for a few months, and I'm going to do a ton of shows, and it'll be great.

Speaker 1 It's like a little escape from my regular life of acting.

Speaker 1 And now, like with the family, I'm like, I just feel like a dastardly dog. Yeah, well, your wife had had a family kid, first of all, which she, I don't know if she should have done or not, but

Speaker 1 her choice. She should have, yeah, okay, but yeah, once she did that, it kind of puts you in the hot seat.
Yeah, yeah. And also, like, being around

Speaker 1 the joke, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I was like blaming having a kid on just her. Yeah, it's what are you doing with having this fucking kid? Yeah, how dare she actually, she slipped that one by me.
I just thought she was gaining weight.

Speaker 1 I'm like, look at my plump little Betty.

Speaker 1 She's looking all sexy, a little round mound.

Speaker 1 Look at her go smuggling a little basketball in there. And then out came a kid, dude.
It was wild. You just keep tickling her? Yeah.
Like, hey,

Speaker 1 she's like, don't tickle me. Something's going to pop out.
She's like, oh, man, she's having spasms in her belly like I do, looking like a little handprint coming out, just like me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, it is wild. When she had it,

Speaker 1 our son Bo turned around when they pulled him out. He looked right back at me, dude.
It was like, it was like, it stopped my heart.

Speaker 1 It was like, they everyone says it's like a transformative thing to see your son or daughter be born but it stopped me dead in my track he looked right at me like bitch what just happened like i've been all cooking up warm inside right and now i'm out here all cold he turned around and was just like

Speaker 1 like i'm the captain now yeah it's like i i steer this ship i rise uh-huh wow yeah it was pretty wild dude the origin story of humans is pretty crazy that you climb out of some woman's belly dude it's like greek mythology

Speaker 1 vagina though well yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 Some of them come out the belly. Actually, no, you were right.
You were right because it came. My wife had a C-section, so you were right.
Perverts go out the vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what I did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm a little freak like that, dog. I'm a little freak like that.
Skit, skin, skit, skin, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a potty wall, dude. Do not lick on the way out.

Speaker 1 That's what I did. That's what I did.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to read the

Speaker 1 wall in there. Do not lick on the way out.
I know. I read it and like, watch me, bitch.
I'm gobbling. I'm gobbling up the world.

Speaker 1 Watch me whip. Yeah.
Watch me nay. Watch me, nay, nay.

Speaker 1 I almost said it at the same time. Adam Devine, man.
Dio Vaughn. Thanks so much, dude, for hanging out.
So fun. I'm glad to see you.
You're physically doing okay. Your family's growing.

Speaker 1 We got to keep making fun stuff. You have to keep making fun stuff.
This was one thing that I thought was really exceptional that Danny McBride said.

Speaker 1 He goes, you know, I don't know if Hollywood knew that they wanted Eastbound because people were always like, why don't they make shit like Band and Down anymore?

Speaker 1 You always hear that kind of stuff, right?

Speaker 1 And he's like, nobody was asking us for something like East Band and Down. Nobody was asking us for something like vice principal.
It was like, we just made it and then said, we know this is funny.

Speaker 1 And then they jump on it because. You can't expect them to think of the next thing.

Speaker 1 That's not what they do anymore.

Speaker 1 He didn't say that's not what they do anymore, but that's what I start to realize. They don't have that creative thing anymore.
That's our job. That's our job.

Speaker 1 Our job is to give them what we think is the funniest thing. And that's what we did with Workaholics and what we're going to try to do with this new show if we actually get to make it is like

Speaker 1 you make what you think is the funniest and what you and your friends would laugh at and what you want to see

Speaker 1 what you want to actually watch.

Speaker 1 And then hopefully other people get on board. And I, you know, I feel, and I think you have a finger on the pulse too, is

Speaker 1 we know what we like and it seems like a lot of other people like what we like as well. So,

Speaker 1 you know, I think you just have to make shit that you think is fun and funny and what not even what other people want to see because they don't even know they want to see it until you make it. Right.

Speaker 1 So that's it. That's the thing.
And that's a lot of things. It's like

Speaker 1 if you wait forever and get somebody to sign off on your thing, then it might not happen. You just have to go and try and figure it out.
And investing in yourself. That's what I realized.

Speaker 1 Like if I lose investing in myself, I don't really fucking lose. It's like.
And at least you did it and you had that experience and you know the nuts and bolts of creating something now.

Speaker 1 So if you decide to do it again, you can go, this is what I would change. This is what I would do differently.

Speaker 1 And also the like,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 with people.

Speaker 1 making something that they think other people would want to see, that's where you lose. When you start to go,

Speaker 1 I know that they want to see this type of show. Like, this is what's selling, or this is what, yeah, you know, I think that's when you get in a little trouble.
Like, make what you want to make,

Speaker 1 and then hopefully that'll catch on. Because as soon as you start to like go down the path, then it's derivative.
And people are like, Didn't we already see this show? We've already done this.

Speaker 1 Then you're just kind of following, yeah, then you're just a follower, yeah, you know. But yeah, it's tough, it's tough, it's tough to figure it out.

Speaker 1 And obviously, you and I are speaking from a place where you know we can afford to try and make a project, so it's like

Speaker 1 you know, not trying to sound

Speaker 1 like knowing that there's not a barrier to entry to that for regular people.

Speaker 1 It's lower. It's not that huge.
I agree. Yeah.
I agree. It's so different now that you can get a camera, you can get a phone, you can figure something out yourself how to make things, you know?

Speaker 1 Well, it was like when we did workaholics, not to just keep harping on this shit, but this is my experience. is when we did Workaholics, it was the barrier of entry had just lowered.

Speaker 1 It used to be like to make something like that, it was $100,000 dollars to make you know to even make a short film for fifty thousand dollars or whatever.

Speaker 1 And everyone had to put it on credit cards and like to try to make something that maybe would work. And you had to slurp off some producer somewhere.
You have to, you're constantly gobbling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're constantly gobbling. And someone wants you to use silverware when you blow them or whatever.
I'm like, how rich is this?

Speaker 1 Dude, God, fucking pour some gray coupon on that bitch and do some gobbles.

Speaker 1 But now, you know, it's just, it was just like a camera and some lights, and we were able to shoot something that Comedy Central was like, what you doing over there? Right. You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's interesting. I don't know.
I'm trying to sound inspirational to people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me too. I feel like it's a lot of word salad for me sometimes.
But yeah, I'm just trying to be a fucking inspiration.

Speaker 1 I think you are, dude. Survivor of cement truck.
Uh-huh. You know, the guys fought in the AEW.

Speaker 1 The fourth season of Righteous Gemstone is going on right now. New projects in the works.
The podcast, you can lock in, listen to Adam, have ideas, think about things, share everyday stuff on his life

Speaker 1 with some of the stars.

Speaker 1 Yep, this is important. Anders Blake.
Kyle Newacek. Yeah, he's been off the pod.
He's been directing

Speaker 1 Hybby Gilmore, too. So that bitch is busy.
He's too busy for the pod.

Speaker 1 Must be nice, Kyle. Must be nice.

Speaker 1 Adam Ryan, thanks so much for hanging out, dude. Best of luck, man.
Good to see you, buddy. Me too.

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