E571 Adam Devine

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Today's guest is an actor.

He's a comedian.

He's a writer.

He's, hell, he was hit by a damn car.

You know him from Workaholics and the Righteous Gemstones.

He has his own podcast with the guys from Workaholics called This Is Important.

It's always a fun time with my friend adam divine you just shower is it the uh is it uh the rain that got a little wet? I just showered, unfortunately. It looks good on you.
I'm not afraid to say it. That wet look looks good on you, Theo.
You think? Yeah, I ain't lying. Let me see it.
Pull it up. Let me get a gander at it.
I don't know. Oh, damn, son.
Yeah, just, I could just... Sorry.
No, don't be, I like it. I haven't heard it in a while.
I saw you stretching a little bit. Was that what I saw? Yeah, you did.
You gotta stay limber for all the sitting we're doing. I'm getting at the age now where I can't sit for too long, dude.
Really? Yeah, and that sucks yeah just sitting just freaking bothers me it bothers yeah uh you know i do notice um i thought about this like we're not supposed to just be sitting around like imagine to say you went in the woods right yeah and you saw all the animals are having fun yep right always they always are yeah most of them are some of them are beating killing there's some yeah some some of them but eating is fun fun. Yep.
Right. They always are.
Yeah. Most of them are.
Some of them are beating, killing. There's some.
Yeah, some of them. But eating is fun, though.
Yeah, most of them are having a good time. Yeah.
Yeah, there's violence. A lot of it's by the streams.
And so, you know, kind of. That's fun.
Yeah, it's fun if you're into that. Yeah, and I think most animals, and I'm also into water.
But that's where things get violent is down there. Oh, shit.
That's what I'm saying is I think nature's a blast, right? Yeah. You see it.
They're herding. The animals, the woodpecker comes down.
He makes noise and people are like, get the fuck out of here. We want to sleep in.
But you don't think for him that's kind of fun, though? It's just like, wake up, motherfucker? Yeah, he's obviously been using or whatever. He's one of the animals that got a hold of a bag somewhere.

Absolutely.

Who else is rolling up like that?

Just so early, just slamming their head against a wall.

Yeah, and then taking off.

Yeah.

Unless he's like Morse coding a message from the heavens or from like ACDC or something, you know?

But, you know, I'm sure every animal, they all conjointively hate that MF-er. Conjointively.
I think they are. When they see, unless one person had to get up early for work and then he's like, guys, I had to invite him.
Yeah. And this, we all started, we started to talk about this because of stretching.
We, I'm just saying, so stretching like is, um, oh, you said sitting down. Yeah.

So I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know if we're supposed to be sitting down. Like, say if you went into nature and you saw a bunch of animals.

They were doing stuff, scratching their backs on trees, eating berries and tickling each other or whatever.

And then there's one animal off to the side who's sitting in a chair and he's vaping or working on his computer.

Yep.

You'd be like, that Anna, something's not right. Something something's not right he's gonna have some achy hips yeah because humans they weren't sitting back in the day that's what I'm saying I mean rocks they're they're not comfortable we have all these we've made all these comfy chairs get us all sloven yeah right so that's that's what I I live in County, so I drove up here to do this, among some other things.

But I drove up here, and it took like an hour, 40 minutes.

And then I get out of my car, and my hips are like –

Yeah, my body starts to – the top starts to lean forward.

My top half of my body will start to lean forward like that.

Yeah. Well, do you know I – my body fell apart, dude.
you know I was hit by a cement truck when I was a kid I was dude how full was it it was a full cement truck even if it wasn't a full cement truck that's still fucked up but it was a full one dude full one's really bad I think 32 tons something like that yeah tons, something like that. Oh, my God.
Yeah, dude. It hit me.
I ran over the first, under the wheels, and then spit me out. I flew 500 feet, dude.
You're lying. Mm-mm.
Truths. Oh, my God.
What's the longest field goal ever kicked? That's insane. Bring that up.
Yeah. I mean, it has to be more than 500.
No? Maybe not. How long is the – 66 yards.
So quick math, I think that's 1,000 feet. Quick math.
No, what is that? 188. 188 feet.
Oh, my God. So that's like more than double.
Yeah. Wow.
Oh, my God. Wow.
What did you land in? I skidded up the street or down the street, however it goes. And I was hit in one county, and I landed in another county.
Nuh-uh. Because the street was like the dividing line between the counties.
Still count? Yes, still counts as a cool factoid. And is this the style you got hip-hop? What did you get hip-hop? Yeah, it was a similar style.
Yeah, so I got taken under those wheels. Those Peterbilt's are nice, huh? Yeah, that's a solid truck.
And what happened? Were you, because I have a friend who got hit by a train, right? Mm-hmm. And he's doing- Not as funny.
Oh, yeah, I agree. Yeah.
He was doing great. He was listening to, I think, Alana's more set or something, walking with his headphones on.
Yeah. And he's like, isn't this ironic? Yeah.
Yeah yeah well uh don't you think well because it's like craziest listening to my song getting hit by train craziest thing was he'd been listening also to train earlier see that would actually be ironic yeah but i think but it that joke only works if he had been listening to it earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we dialed that one in. Yeah, we did a good job.
But, yeah, you believe that they're noise-canceling, and then you're like, no, they're not that noise-canceling. He couldn't hear a train coming.
That's wild. But it's effective, is all I'm saying.
Those heavens are effective. Yeah.
So you're walking. Where are you when this happens? I would say it was Omaha, Nebraska.
And we were going across the street to get candy or whatever. And I mean, true facts were we were going to like we would steal pages out of Playboy or Penthouse magazines.
And we were you know 12 11 11 and uh so that was our move we would go there we'd rip out i don't know why we didn't just steal the magazine because the ripping sounds loud it's way louder but in little kid brain i was like it's not as bad if we only steal a few pages that's fair like it's we're we're gonna get in less trouble if we get caught. Right.
Like I got one page. I only got a couple of pages.
Yeah. I got like half a tit here, mom.
I didn't steal a magazine. It's just a magazine.
You still have the rest. Yeah.
Yeah. And they say they buy it for the articles, mom.
So I left the articles. So we would do that.
And so my one friend was across the street or my two friends were across the street and they say come on and I took that as coast is clear coast wasn't clear Theo yeah three symmetrics are going up the hill as two were coming down and I couldn't see the other side of the street it was like suburbs or new houses were sprouting up all over so three were coming up two were coming down he yells come on i'm like take his word for it walked out behind the third cement truck boom bam hot damn did you even have a second to see it or he was just lights out i don't remember it this this is all what people have told me my friend could have thrown me in front of the cement truck for all i know but i don't i don't think so danny hendrix did not try to murder me, I don't think. Danny? Yeah.
Or Dan-ty? Or Dan-ty? Yeah. Sounds like he may have to me.
Maybe. I don't know him.
Maybe. I don't think so.
He's a good guy. What does he do now? I mean, dude, I don't know what he does right now.
Danny Hendricks. There he is.
Wow. Great job, dude.
Staffing ninja helps the medical labs locate and attract exceptional talent. So that's, you know, he's got a real job.
That's cool. He's got a nice smile.
Yeah, he does. Very nice.
Yeah. He's a handsome guy.
He's got, uh, he didn't have to put his smile back together off of a street curb either. Yeah, that's true.
Like I had to cobble myself back together but but uh yeah so from that all those injuries i uh and now like my body's just all fucked up well how long how long were in that were you in the hospital for me i was in for like a month and a half but then i had like two dozen surgeries within a short dude my legs are all fucked up look at this it looks like uncooked chicken can i show you yeah does it gross you out well it's okay i can see it okay wow okay that's a real deal right there's a flat yeah that looks like some uncooked chicken meats damn homies got a flat on there yeah and is that uh wow can i touch that yeah yeah touch that oh that's magic. It's really smooth, right? This is what like older ladies, this is what they want their skin not to look like, but to feel like, right? Oh, that's off-road skin.
Yeah, but that's kind of smooth, right? Yeah. Yeah, touch that again.
I don't think you're getting... Yeah.
Let me touch the underside of it. Yeah, get the underbelly of it.
I can't feel that, Theo. Und The underside tickles me a little touching it.
I can't feel that. You can't really? No.
So a lot of nerve damage. Was that thing just hanging on? What happened? Because that looks kind of rekindled.
Yeah, both. It looks like gum.
And then this side isn't as bad. That one has a dip in it, it looks like.
Yeah, because this is like the actual muscle. And then it dips here.
Oh, my God. You know what it reminds me of? That Body Wars thing that to all the um the exhibits you know body world i think it's called body world i believe which and it's also body world is pretty incredible man it is kind of fascinating there's one where they spliced a pregnant person you have to oh you have to splice a pregnant person that's a new way to do a gender reveal i think but the exhibit is set up so that one starts at the skeletal system um it's an exhibition showcasing human bodies that have been preserved through a process called plastination and dissected to display bodily systems it opened in tampa oh which is i wouldn't have expected that tampa is they allow a lot of stuff yeah but it seems like a i mean it seems like a thing that would that would sprout up in like boston like some harvard people were like yo let's start up this thing right you know tampa doesn't feel like it should that's a good point you know but they may have won it in a lawsuit, I think, and probably had to start it in Florida, maybe based on legalities or something.
Yeah. It was a divorce.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, someone's like, well, I'm keeping the exhibit. So that idea we had, I'm keeping that and I'm running with it.
So the exhibit displays internal organs and organic systems, body stage and active poses and fetuses in various stages of development. It opened in 1995.
Guess when I was ran over, dude? 1995. You're lying.
Uh-uh. Oh, my God.
Maybe they read about me in the paper and were like, hey, I have an idea. Yeah.
Let's take this show on the road. Let's take it on the road, dude.
Yeah. I wonder wonder if i i won't shut up about getting hit by a symmetric i hope i didn't hope i didn't retell that story it's fascinating man no i don't think so at all and here's a little bit of real bodies exhibit and you just get to see the texture that's what this reminds you of it you have a very kind of beef jerky from the knees down but smooth but smooth no it.
No, it's nice. It's not a hard jerky.

Well, it just also seems – you seem strong.

Thank you.

Thank you for saying that.

Do you think your body had to – your legs had to be stronger after this because –

It was a ton of physical – like years and years and years of physical therapy.

And what sucks now, dude, is I'm back in the physical therapy grind. Because of it yeah whatever happened like three years ago i was shooting this show in germany and i like was wiggling around and i like kicked my leg up and uh like i was like ping and something pinged down here in my groin i was like uh i got my balls popping out you know like you had a hernia and and like my insides are oozing out, not oozing out.
They weren't. So then it was just something like got tweaked.
And then it was just like, bing, bing, bing, bing. And the muscles all up, all got fucked up.
And so I had two surgeries. I was like, it's my hips.
I'm going to have. So I got hip surgeries on each side.
It wasn't the hips. So it's been three years of like trying to cobble my body back together.
And I was so fucked up and I was so tight and tense. And I was getting these spasms.
I went to the doctor. The doctor one month before my son was born was like, you're dying.
Swear to God, Theo. He goes, you have stiff person syndrome, which is a real disease.
It sounds like a boner joke, but it is not.

And he's like, you got stiff person syndrome.

And that essentially the like average lifespan of someone with stiff person syndrome is like

five or six years.

And I was like, I'm dying.

I'm dying.

So for a solid couple of months, I was like, my son is just born.

I'm going to die.

And what are you feeling like? You feel like a gingerbread cookie kind of style or like how stiff are you at that point i i'm a lot better now i was so stiff i couldn't like i could hurt i like i would move and everything would go and it hurts to just move at all and i would have these crazy spasms and like it would and they would happen in my stomach sometimes and it looks like i'm pregnant like a little fucking arm is pushing out it was wild bring some of that up stiff person syndrome this is a real um it's a real celine dion has it oh so then so then uh i i go through all this testing and then they were like you know we don't think you have this we think this is from your accident and i'm like okay okay Thank God I don't all this testing and then they were like, you know, we don't think you have this. We think this is from your accident.
And I'm like, OK, thank God I don't have this. And then I go through another six months.
I'm on the set of the Righteous Gemstones. I'm not getting any better.
In fact, I'm getting worse. And I tell Danny, I'm like, dude, I have to dip.
I have to go see the stiff person syndrome guy. And it was so scary because he's the guy that's going to tell me if I actually have it or not.
Oh, really? And I'm there. It's after hours.
And they saw me special, you know. And I just hear his little click, clack, click, clack of his old man doctor shoes.
And he comes and he has those eyebrows that are like wizard-like. Yeah, like the eyebrows that like a bird will land on one.
Yeah, absolutely. And you have eyebrows like that you're like you have wisdom right yeah definitely if yeah people who trim their eyebrows are obviously dumb as fuck yeah you're not yeah yeah dude you gotta let those things sprout if you're lucky enough to have some wiry brows and so he comes and luckily he tells me i do not have it so thank god but it was like a wild ride where i'm like i think i'm dying and now now i'm like it's from my accident it sucks but hopefully i can get better so some of the mental fear is is going away because you got the verdict and then i think from that some of the physical has gotten a little better because the mental because i'm not just like like – because I wasn't sleeping.
I was sleeping like three hours a night. I was just going online, sitting on the toilet and watching TikTok videos of like people with like – that are like, I'm living with stiff person syndrome and it's – I'm living an okay life.
And you're like, oh, this is – I'm doing good. It's like, I'm doing good.
And you're like – Somebody set me on a counter so I can look at the children or whatever. Yeah, totally.
You're like elf on a shelf, dude. That's exactly what it was.
And I'm like, I feel so bad for these people. And also in turn, I'm like, this is going to be me, dude.
I'm going to like, my wife is just going to have to like wheel me into the living room as I watch my like little son walk for his first steps. You know, I think it's going to go like that.
But luckily it's not. So that's been since I saw you last, dude.
That's what I've been doing. And that's so stressful.
I can imagine, man. I'm so sorry to go through that.
Yeah. It's unbelievable.
And where you started it like. So that's why I was stretching.
That's why. Well, you can get dysplasia, too.
That's of the things that – So dogs get a lot. Well, a lot of Australian shepherds get it.
My friend Scott has an Australian shepherd. People say I'm an Australian shepherd as a human.
I could see that a little bit. Dysplasia refers to abnormal development of growth of cells or tissues, which can be mild, moderate, or severe, and can sometimes be a precursor to cancer.
Oh. Oh, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that. I thought that was when your hips get all tight.
Yeah, let's look up hip dysplasia. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, hip dysplasia.
This guy's trying to upsell us. I thought that would always be kind of a cool name for a 90s hip-hop group.
Hip dysplasia. Yeah.
Hip dysplasia condition where the hip joint does not develop properly yeah um resulting in abnormal fit between the ball and socket of the hip the exact cause of hip dysplasia is unknown but it may be related to genetics yep uh position during pregnancy and history of hip dysplasia in a family don't have that thank god god dude yeah now there things, were you having to roll out your legs and stuff? Like, tell me some. I roll out every day.
Dude, I have to roll out. Yeah.
I carry around, like, the ball. The ball I really fuck with.
I do acupuncture once a week. I do body work at least once a week.
I do a thing called functional patterns, which is, you like how to stand proper properly using weights and different kind of things and then i do regular physical therapy uh and and that's about it right now but like and then i do chiropractor that hooks me up with like this machine that zaps you you know like a tens unit i guess stem pads yeah but like this is supposedly like the hot shit machine that zaps you even more i don't know even what it does but i'm like doing everything so like right now when i'm not currently working on a project it's like five days a week all week physical therapy every week physical therapy type stuff yeah man yeah that's like having another child it's almost like having another child it's like having to take care of yourself like that is really extensive it's so annoying and then like i might do this movie and it shoots in south africa yeah and i'm like running around and it's like an action sort of move and i'm like oh am i gonna fuck myself up again So now I'm like looking at projects with little side eye going like, can I handle this shit? Yeah. What about a calm project? Yeah.
I need a nice chill. But Peeping Tom type of thing.
Oh, if I could get a Peeping Tom gig, dude. That's where I'd really shine.
Get him on the ladder. Yeah.
If I'm just perched up in a tree. But I have like a nice chair chair like a deer stand yeah you know and but it's just me just like oogling someone that'd be a good gig dude it's sydney sweeney or someone in it i don't know or your wife yeah but no but look it's just acting yeah it's just acting on it babe oh yeah if you got january johns in there you got uh who else can you a lot of people a lot of people dude rear window that's a that's a hitchcock wasn't it rear window i think so yeah that's rear window i think was about butt stuff wasn't it that was an early an early uh anal film one of the first anal films i think it was about proctology.
It was like a proctologist. Oh, I didn't know.
A proctologist can't get his act together. Yeah.
Man, that's so wild. Thanks for sharing that, dude.
Yeah. When you were a kid, how long did it affect you? Like, say, after the accident happened, how long was it like a daily thing that affected thing that affected you probably oh for sure I couldn't walk for about two years and then but then eighth grade your homie played football yep really yeah it was so bad dude but they were like yeah he could play and then it's just they made me an offensive lineman dude I guess if you can't move I can't move it was just like but i was pretty strong from all the physical therapy go around on it yeah don't hit me yeah just uh but my mom my mom was like so worried about me right so she put shin guards on me and arm guards on me so i was hitting people like bah bah you're like like.
Yeah, dude. My dad was like, take your elbow and jam it underneath their chin.
So it was just me going like, dink. And they're like, oh, oh.
And I actually, I was like kind of decent. Like it worked.
It worked. You were the only guy out there who was just fucking high-yine.
Yeah, yeah. What? That's crazy, dude.
And the devilishness of your father. Oh, dude, my dad's a dirty dog, man.
To guide you like that. My dad, like, I don't know how your parents were, but my dad, I remember as a kid, I was getting bullied, you know, a little bit.
I'm sure, dude. Yeah, but before, before the accident.
Before? Yeah, I don't know. I was getting bullied you know a little bit I'm sure dude Before the accident I don't know it was just like There was a bully right And my dad was like Dude He picks on you Is he a lot bigger than you And I'm like he's way bigger than me He was held back a grade so this guy was like a fucking monster Insane He's.
And he was in like fourth grade. And dumb.
He's held back. Yeah, he was held back.
He's a big dummy. Just let the dumb go with their friends.
Let them go. That's the scary part when you keep, you're like, hey, this kid's kind of dumb.
You hold him back and now he's going to be, now he's mad. Now he's angry.
Because everyone knows he's stupid. Yeah, he's angry and dumb.
Yeah. So now he's in my grade.
And he is. Fee, fi, fo, fum.
Yeah. I smell the blood of adam uh and then he is like picking on me my dad was like hit him as hard as you can in the face and then run away he's like that like try to knock him the fuck out and then he's bigger than you and i'm like uh-huh he's like then get out of there right so the next day i was like he was picking on me and i just was like and i punched him right in the nose did not knock him out uh but he didn't attack he cried like a bitch yeah he did yeah and then uh and then he and then i think i became his bully which in turn i've actually heard i've told this story on my podcast.
This is important. And I told that story and then I think I became his bully which in turn I've actually heard I've told this story on my podcast this is important and I told that story and then I found through the grapevine that he thinks that I was his bully he doesn't remember bullying me he only remembers me bullying him afterwards because afterwards I just took my dad's advice so he was like talking shit in class I just got out a book and hit him in the back of the head yeah yeah and like he was talking shit at the top of the stairs i fucking kicked him and he fell down the stairs dislocated his shoulder yeah dude so i think i was like fucking really violent yeah it sounds like you don't remember things correctly yeah it sounds like you were i did a violent guy it does.
But I thought in my head, he's the aggressor. Maybe not.
Maybe I'm a little piece of shit. But I thought I was in the right.
But I was like, I'm smaller. So I have to be more violent.
Or else I'm going to be the one getting my ass kicked. Yeah, we had a kid at after school care.
We went to religious after school care it was they would donate it to you if you prayed a lot or something so my mom would get a couple prayers in and then you get free care for the kids or whatever good deal oh yeah so she was hitting the um urinal or something no it's not a urinal what is it where you pray confessional confessional right just wait it way different than urinal god i hope yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely.
God, I hope this – God, please make this piss come out right. I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay, dude. But yeah, so yeah, she would put – she would like make a bunch of deposits in the confessional or whatever.
And then they gave you free childcare for the after school, right? And we had this one kid named Jeep was his name. He was named after a vehicle.
Right. Yeah.
So they named him Jeep. I was like, well, that's not how it works.
But my buddy Scott's daddy was like, you know what? If he'd be a meanie, go up on that upper deck and hum a piece of concrete off at him. And did you do that? I don't remember if we did it or not, but I just remember that advice being like, that is aggressive that is aggressive advice yeah yeah but yeah jeep was problematic and he would body slam other kids and stuff yeah it sucks dude yeah so but everybody had a bully man um but you talked about on a new podcast you have a new podcast wait i know this with um the guys from workaholics you guys started a new podcast that's right it's not new we've been doing it a while now but uh you re-pick it up or something yeah we we've just we don't promote it so uh we've just been doing it in silence and uh yeah no one knows about it uh it's called this is important but it's yeah me and the work hogs guys it's super fun yeah yeah it's fun dude and what a way to keep that thing alive.
What a way to keep an experience alive.

Yeah.

It's just a fun way to get together.

It was during the pandemic.

Actually, we started it and we were like, dude, we never see each other anymore.

We're bored.

Let's just crank this bitch out.

Bring up a photo of the gang right there with the pod.

Yeah.

This important.

We're actually pitching a new show together.

Yeah.

So the boys might be back.

Yeah.

That's so cool.

Yeah.

We're.

Yeah. That's so cool.
Yeah, we're – What a great group you got with too. Yeah.
Yeah, it's fun. It's rare that you have a show, right, like Workaholics, which was such a hit, and then you now get to have an experience where you guys are still kind of together, even podcasting, right? And ending what's it like when something like big like that ends like what's it like when a project that you've done for a few years ends like i know even just doing a small movie that it was like the last day it felt like the last day of school and it was like and we weren't even and we were kind of close but it only been you know maybe 30 days but this is years of your life What's that? Dude, it's way different.
Like a movie, doing movies is so fun, right?

Like it's way different like a movie doing movies is so fun right like it's a it's a lot of work like way more work than people think they they think it's all glitz and glamour it's kind of sucks it's a nightmare yeah it's a lot it really is a nightmare it's a living you're up and you're down and you're up and you're down you're almost like a zombie that has to do some. I love it though.
I love like putting all the little pieces together and you feel like you're the quarterback of a football team and the whole crew is working together and everybody is working for one common goal. But then when it wraps, a movie, you really only spent like two months together or however long.
And so it's like know it's it's difficult because you made friends with some of these people but then on a tv show it's years and years of your life yeah and you really form like real friendships with some of these people so i like that better in the way that you're like some of these crew people i'm going to know for the rest of my life and then uh it's just nice to build a relationship so that's what i love about tv and i'm like i'm trying to pitch another show with the workaholics guys and working on a few other projects that i hope i can get off the ground um tv wise because it's nice just to have something that you can come back to every year and grow with the characters and you know have it morph over time like gemstones ending like that show was a wild ride dude it got us through the pandemic through us through two strikes through all these ups and downs all this turmoil it's nice to come back and have this be you know kind of home base and i know you just uh recorded with danny a couple weeks ago yeah it was great oh isn't he the? He's so great. I was a little bit nervous.
I wish I had just talked about more regular stuff. We talked about like some family stuff.
It was great. Yeah.
It was great. You know, you just always kind of have your druthers, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I didn't know. I had no clue who he was going to be like.
There's not a ton of stuff out there about him. Well, he likes to be mysterious, you know? And it's good.
He does a great job of it. And he was talking about how like by not having social media and all that kind of stuff, it just keeps him – it lets him have his brain space for himself.
He's like, you have to have time to be kind of just where your brain's not doing anything, you know? And he's so good about, like, doing what he does and not feel – I think it's so easy just to be like, I have to be everywhere. I have to be doing – and I feel this way this way sometimes i'm like why don't i have a snapchat presence like fucking snap who am i yeah i'm not i'm not like a 14 year old tiktok girl like yeah you'd be a pedophile if you had one yeah i don't need to be a pedophile i just want to everyone's doing it the uh it is hollywood it's holly Hollywood, man.
Yeah. So he's and he's just the coolest boss, man.
It was so fun. Yeah.
You know, you meet him and you're like, I was the same way. You're a little on your heels.
You're a little intimidated. Right.
Because he's such a presence. And I remember the first time I met him, I was it was at an after party This Is The End or something.
And we were doing a movie that Seth Rogen produced, Game Over Man, which I did with the Workaholics guys. And so we were there at the after party and I was trying to smoke with Seth, like go toe-to-toe with him.
And I smoke weed. I'm good at smoking weed i would say not as good as seth rogan yeah

he's yeah he looks like a part of a joint yes he looks human joint and so i'm i'm so i'm like in a fucking day he's fully crossfaded and also he doesn't drink but i do so i'm like just guzzling vodka while still trying to keep up with him and through this and you have stiff person syndrome This is pre-stiff person.

This is pre-my stiff.

But out through this cloud of- And you have stiff person syndrome. So you're fucking- This is pre-stiff person.
Okay, okay. This is pre-my stiff.
But out through this cloud emerges Danny McBride. And he's on like my Mount Rushmore, you know, a favorite comedian.
And just seeing him walk up, he just has this, everything that he says is his character. So it's like- Yeah.
It's just him. Yeah.
And I was like on my heels and so i go you're danny mcbride and he's like dude yeah i know he's like hey man nice to meet you and then i looked at him and i said you're a bright shooting star what like what the fuck dude a bright shooting star i said i told him you're a bright shooting star, which I think is like a Native American type of thing. It might be a Native American, but it's also like, I think from Boogie Nights or something.
And so I said, you're a bright shooting star. And he's like, yeah, okay, man.
And I grabbed my girlfriend at the time and I was like, we have to leave. And she was like, I'm having a good time.
Why are we are we leaving I'm like I just called Dana McBride a bright shooting star and she was like you're right let's get out of here like yeah fucking you're out of your mind dude let's get out of here but when he cast me on the show he did not remember that I think he also was pretty crossfaded as well so he didn't remember that he might have been cooking with seth yeah he might have been also cooking with seth so dang dude that's crazy yeah so thank thank god yeah are you ready to win real money this march mania tourney struggling to choose which teams will pull off an upset forget about the the teams. All you need to focus on are the

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He's a financial expert, eight-time bestselling author, and the host of The Ramsey Show. That's a Monday through Friday show where Dave and his team take calls from real people dealing with real money situations.
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Yeah, he's just like, I don't know. It's tough because you want to impress him, but him but you also want to just learn about him there was a lot of little stuff and to know that he liked the directing side and the thinking about in the program that he that he thinks about that more than it seems like he does probably the acting side not as a judgment no no that's right that's the stuff that he talked about why he even got into things that's the stuff that he likes the most like he's like i won't really go back and watch things i like to just be there in that moment when things are trying to are chaotic and how do we figure it out and i was like wow that's kind of fascinating he's a really smart guy he went to film school first and like so he came into the business wanting to be a writer and a director and that's what i wanted to do too and i remember telling my mom i'm like i think i want to go to film school that way i can learn the other side and then put myself as the the lead in projects and then i could have all the creative control and my mom bless her heart was just like you're an actor just go be an actor he was like dunking on me a little bit like okay dummy uh just go be go be the actor yeah you've already been hit by the cement truck yeah yeah yeah let's not push our luck here okay yeah yeah next all you need is a lumber truck and it's a wrap dude yeah dude a freaking steamroller dang dude so jim stones is um but no yeah getting to see him well it was funny because i went I went in the lobby and they were waiting in the front room.
And they're like, Danny's here. And we were trying to get ready a little bit.
And it's just been a long week. And I go in there and he's just pretending that he's sleeping in the chair.
It's just so funny. Kind of something a kid would do, you know? He's the best.
It was just like, you know, I've walked in there and there's been a hundred guests in there.

And never once has one just pretended that they're sleeping.

Dude, he'll like, when you're on, he likes to keep things light and fun.

But he's also just like, he's like a little rascal, you know?

And so you'll be shooting your side of a take, right?

And it's over his shoulder.

And he'll just go, like, as you're trying to act. And you're like, what the, like, dude.
And he's, like, the guy that'll break the most. Oh, yeah? And I think it's, like, to keep things light.
And also he just thinks like he's such a good – like such aver that what like he wants you to know that he thinks it's funny so yeah maybe a cock light a little light that can do cocks with it that's sick oh you need that honestly he had like a little wiener laser or whatever it was like you know they have that light you can shine on somebody at like a somebody's given a conference or whatever like a laser pointer yeah and you shine it on him and you circle his dick with social security comes up and rescues him or whatever so they'll get shot or whatever yeah well um secret service i don't think social security is wrong actually social security apparently trove's taking it out of business yeah whatever yeah it's nowhere to be found. So it's just going to be your grandma being like, what? I need this to survive.
Here's a cock light instead. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what Social Security is going to send you a gift each month. Yeah.
Like, hey, we don't have money anymore. They took that.
But here's a cock light those days are over but yeah i mean maybe for some people worth it what about this labia night light we're gonna give you though yeah yeah this was it it projects five different dicks and i didn't know that he didn't take me through all the cocks he showed me that well have you i mean yeah i feel like this is something that you need to spend some time with yeah i, I feel like you got to dust that one off and play with it a little bit.

I brought it to Las Vegas with me this weekend.

And I was even using it during some of the fights.

I would low-key people didn't know it.

Oh, that's fun.

But like there were some of the fights you wanted and I'd flash a cock on somebody.

Which is crazy.

I'm sure you get weird gifs like this all the time.

I get weird shit constantly.

Like where they want you to talk about it on your podcast or they – you know what I'm saying.

I just got this – it was like offensive.

There was this dildo company or something like a sex toy company and they sent me one that it's to fit over your dick so you have a bigger dick.

It was called the little more and you strap it onto your dick so your dick is bigger and i'm like why why was i singled out as though as the guy a little more yeah i think is this it maybe maybe yeah you strap it on you put it under your your nuts through a little hole you put your nuts into it as well yeah underneath so it can stay on oh i see so you kind of put your nuts through a hole and then it stays on top stays on top so do you even need to use your not that i've tried it on not that i know everything about it yeah and what is it a 41 regular what size it's a 42 short it's stocky like me just a short stocky little uh yeah that's exactly it's amazing I like a little more five and a half inches. That's so sad, dude.
If that's your little more. Hey, you know, I guess that person would really need it.
Like a smart car. Yeah, totally.
Totally. That's that's something that your wife or girlfriend gives you.
I like that. That one sold out.
I know. Yeah, that one one sold out.
They ran out of those. They're like, that means you have to have like a four-inch dick to then.
And you want to rock up to five and a half. Yeah, for like your wedding or whatever.
Yeah, for a big event. I wonder if I would like, you know, I guess it's kind of nice because then your wiener could not even have to be erect.
You can kind of be soft as long as you're able to fit the mold and just rock this thing. Yeah, that's good if you're like – you're a little jet-lagged.
You're a little tired. Oh, yeah.
I've been jet-lagged for 20 years then. Yeah.
And then you're like – you don't really want to give it up, but then – But still. These women crawling all over.
Oh, my God. It's exhausting.
Oh, you got to smash them just to keep them off the ceiling fan, you know. For real.
I know exactly what you mean. No, dude.
I'm married. I have a one-year-old baby.
My wife is like, please stop touching me. For 18 more years, do not touch me.
There we are. We're a beautiful family.
We're a beautiful family. Wow, dude.
That must be are We're a beautiful family

Wow dude that must be nice

To have a beautiful family

Is that a real picture

That's our living room

Y'all have a boat

You're lying

Oh my god

That's what happens when you have stiff person syndrome

You're like you know what

I'm basically a retiree now

I just stretch

I do yoga in my backyard

And then I take boats out

Thank you. Oh, my God.
That's what happens when you have stiff person syndrome. You're like, you know what? I'm basically a retiree now.
Now I just stretch. I do like yoga in my backyard and then I take boats out.
They just tie you to the front like in that – what about Bob? Yeah, I'm exactly like that. Your character in – congratulations too on your family.
Thanks, dude. How soon after a wife has one child do they want to – isn't there there a strategy there that starts to come in like do we have another one immediately do we hold off yes you don't want to have an only child i don't think we don't we want we want a two banger uh the one two punch and i think we we want to try to go fairly soon you know just to to pound it out yeah keep the thing once you're used to doing diapers i'm like let's keep this thing rolling i know i know how to do whip i know how to do this quick like you don't want to get out of the diaper phase and then suddenly you're like oh fuck i gotta do this again you have to dust them off or whatever like yeah well like how do i even yeah what are we doing what are we doing here dude uh yeah yeah i guess that's true knock them all out we just had candace owens on and she has had four kids in a row one two three four she's on her fourth child right now that's a lot per year so it's just like oh that's a lot yeah at that point you're kind of running a distillery it seems like yeah that's too much well i feel like it finally got to the point that like my wife is allowing me to touch her a little bit.
Right. Like sometimes.
So then I know if like we run it back and have another kid, then it's off the table for another year. Yeah.
You know. Yeah.
So that sucks. But it kind of fits.
So with your Jim Stone's character, your Jim Stone's character is now fully a homosexual male, right? That is right. That is right.
And what's that been like? What's that journey been like?

Like how did you get – did you – My wife doesn't love it.

Okay.

She's not super attracted to that guy.

That guy.

Yeah, it was – you know, it was – it kind of seemed like it was going that way.

And it was really fun to play like a character that had like a secret, you know, a little secret that I didn't want to divulge. So it was nice this season.
I'm out. I'm proud.
And I can just like be because I don't know about you, but I have like some gay family members. And when they finally came out, it was like they were they had a new lease on life they just seemed

happier they like a new personality emerged from their cocoon they're they broke out of the hetero shell and now they can just be gay yeah and uh so it was super fun to play that dang yeah yeah and Did you have to channel any specialty or special gay folks,

or did you call a gay that you are a gay person? Did you contact some other gay people? Did you take like a small, like a weekend retreat or something? Is there any? No, I didn't. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of Gay reason Yeah, it was mostly just acting

I didn't go on any gay retreats

Not that I'm opposed to it

No, I'm just wondering

And do you have to ask like a – is there like a – because like sometimes with some black stuff, if you want to use the name word, you have to get a pass. Yeah, you would – You really need a lot of co-signers on that.
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, like a lot.
There would have to be like a long list. It was like all these people said I could say it.
Yeah i could say it yeah yeah but anyway yeah i was just wondering do you have to get a gay pass from an acting guild or anything to play no i think uh i just did it i hope i hope i don't get in trouble yeah yeah fuck now that you're kind of airing it out i'm a little bit like did i do them dirty uh but i don't think don't think so. Yeah, I have some gay friends, and they were like, it's great.
It's fantastic. Because I think I walked the line of being a little flamboyant in moments, but then not in other moments as a gay man should or would.
Yeah, and as your character, let's bring his character up too here just so we can

get a gander at him as well i also have been pulling some looks the last couple years for sure my fashions are on point yeah i think there was it was not shocking i don't think to people that your character could um have this going on yeah because there's also there's always a surprise gay person in a lot of religious families. Absolutely.
And look at this. Look at that guy.
Look at that sex pot. I mean, that guy could be seven or 41.
That's exactly how old I am. And this guy's been fucking.
This is unbelievable that this even exists. Yeah, dude.
I know. It was such a fun character to play.
You know where I channeled the character was a lot of wrist work. Like I just do – because when you're acting, for me, if I'm not playing like Adam DeMamp from Workaholics was pretty similar to myself, just the more manic version of myself, you know.
So I didn't have to do a lot. But other characters where I'm like, he's different than me.
I have to find something where I can click in physically. I found like just doing different things with my hands, I would be able to channel him in ways that isn't me.
isn't me yeah i can totally relate to that like sometimes when you go to costumes for a uh a part and you'll try on different ones and then you'll put on like a certain outfit or something to have you in you're like oh this is kind of it and you start to feel a little bit different or you'll like kind of like what if you walk around yourself a little differently. You strut around a little differently.
Yeah. you'll like.
Kind of like. If you walk around.
You hold yourself a little differently.

You strut around a little differently.

Yeah.

For me it was on gemstones.

I got.

They gave me these.

Well I actually requested them.

You know like.

Certain people will wear glasses.

Yeah.

Even though they don't have anything wrong with their eyes.

Yeah I'll do that.

It's like a fashion thing. And so you put them on.
just to like... Look at these I'll leave them do right now.
Well, those are sunglasses. You just look cool.
Oh, you're saying this is any type of glasses? Just like a regular glasses. Okay, so...
Window glasses. Regular window glasses.
And you put them on just for like a fashion sake. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I've done that. Yeah.
So that to me, when I put that on, I like became a different character. Yeah.
I was like doing a little bit of a thing. Yeah.
I like that. And that's how I morphed into Kelvin Jamstone.
Well, there's a lot of gay activity in nature as well you know if they um back to nature dude by the stream they're either killing each other or they're fucks and bring up that they just had two humpback whales if you can find that having sex and they're both males so this is so i'm just saying gemstones inspired them is not the only people that are finding themselves. Yeah two male humpback whales are seen mating off the coast of hawaii of course yeah obviously oh dude i'm in hawaii i'll fuck anything yeah when biologist stephanie stack first saw the photographs of two humpback whales mating in the warm waters of why she says her mind was completely blown when I realized that it was two males, it was not what I was expecting.
I thought, oh my gosh, this is incredible. Says this is the first, she's a biologist at the Pacific Whale Foundation in Maui, which sounds like a, something that Doge is going to bust soon.
Says this is the first time humpback whale sex has

been documented she co-authored a paper about the rare sighting in the journal marine mammal science yeah elon's going to be like so we've given two billion dollars for gay whale porn so we only have one photo

one photo

to prove

if they

if they had

a lot of films

that could make

money on Pornhub then we'd keep it going but we got one pic we got one it's not worth it you can't even open up a OnlyFans yeah that sucks dude you know there's a OnlyFans I just saw this morning uh one of the girls on Harry Potter started an OnlyFans. Oh.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know her.
I don't know. Harry Potter's got less hair on it.
That's all I'm saying, dude. That's all I'm saying.
Allegedly. And these are rumors.
I don't remember the girl's name. It wasn't Hermione.
It wasn't the number one stunner. Oh.
Jessie Cave.esse cave hermione jesse cave harry potter star jesse cave says she's now an only fans now and her reason why is pretty understandable yeah it's understandable i think she said she wanted a new roof or something like she was gonna do some home remods oh yeah yeah that's which by the way i've done some home remods It's expensive dude oh it's 50 racks for a roof it's probably 30 30 racks for a roof maybe yeah oh dude no i just i just did it's 80. nuh-uh 80 for a roof yeah how strong is it it's a really i guess a really strong one oh there's uh what do they call those clay shells what are they called those three little pigs roofers we used to have that group oh i don't know yeah we didn't get that i wonder if i could start an only fans just showing off my calves oh yeah you know i only got four toes nuh-uh fell off in the bathtub homie after the accident after the accident my dad was missing a uh not or some one of his little arms or finger finger Finger, they call it.
Hand arms. Yeah, one of the hand arms.
Dude, I got hit by a Trans Am when I was a kid. Not to the effect of you.
With Trans Am, does that have the Firebird on it? It was Silver Trans Am. Bring it up.
Silver Trans Am 19, I would say probably 85. Pulled up an 85 Trans Am.
Well, that's kind of sick. That's a cool car to get hit by.
It had an aftermarket hood on it. And Joe Dirt was driving it, and that's why you were like, I've got to work with Spade.
I got slammed right in the middle of Joe Dirt. This is sick, dude.
I actually wouldn't mind owning that car. That bitch was tough.
Yeah, that's a sick car to get hit by. But you have a cool old car, don't you? No.
I used to have – I mean, not even even old it was like i just didn't buy a new one i used to have a camaro oh yeah that's what you had yeah i had a but it was like 2010 yeah there's my foot there's my foot that's my god and it's darker huh yeah i think it was just the lighting my it's it's pretty normal looking i mean normal for my legs it looks fast yeah it looks like toes can grab something. Like I can reach out like you throw me a ball and I go.
Yeah. Just snag it out of the air.
But they can't catch things. They're just regular toes.
It fell. It fell out.
It fell off. I've told this on my podcast, but it fell off in the bathtub when I was masturbating for one of the first times in my life.
You're lying. Seventh grade, I was masturbating.
I just learned that my penis did tricks. And I was playing with it, and it fell off in the bathtub, dude.
Baby girl, why? Yeah. Yeah.
And what? I don't understand how did it. Were you taking blood flow from that area into your wean? Like, what was happening? It was hanging on on by a thread and they said that it was either going to grow like attach and and it was gonna be fine or more than likely was so shard charred it was just like a boat it was just gonna flop off and it was i mean this is gross but it was maybe one of the first times i ejaculated and i'm in this bathtub and i'm like oh this is gross there's stuff in here and now I'm in this bathtub and then I see the toe go up the little toe just floating in the glunk no yeah and did they meet up yeah they were swimming together yeah it was pretty nasty kind of a nasty dude you would think that it would be able to help it.
Yeah. All of a sudden, it just like regrows.
Is it enough DNA in there? Yeah. All of a sudden, it grows a toenail.
And then it turns beautiful pink, and I just reattach it. Click, click, click.
I screamed out, and then my mom came in. And it was like, oh, what? And I'm like, my toe.
And then she's trying to fish the toe out and I'm like, get out of here! Get out! It was wild. Yeah.
Did you tell your, well, now your mom knows what happened. Have you masturbated since then or no? Yeah, a few times, a couple times.
Yeah. Yeah.
I do. I do.
I'm not afraid to admit. Yeah.
Yeah. I like it.
I think it's normal. I like it.
I don't like it that I used to like it. And I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah.
I understand that. And I get that.
And that's how a normal man should be. But I'm like, when I'm away, like I get a wife and kid at home.
Now, if I'm on the road doing something, I'm like, daddy's alone. Yeah.
You know, some sweet treats. Time for some hand magic.
They stopped giving lotion in hotels. A lot of hotels, they don't have the lotion nearby.
Really? They used to have a small free thing of lotion. They used to always have the lotion.
The last few hotels I've been in, nice hotels, they don't have the lotion. I think too many people were jerking off.
They were like trying to cut the jerk off numbers. They're trying to knock those down.
I wonder if there's a shortage or something yeah maybe it's probably doge yeah like what do we do we're spending all this money on lotion like no more we spend four billion dollars on lotion how do we subsidize lotion dude man the mainstream media is a big machine i believe that that's conclusive there's no more debating that. They shape stories.
They hide parts. So we're never really seeing the whole picture.
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It is funny. You know, one of them was like two million dollars to eliminate some of the alphabet from like Mozambique or whatever.
It was like, what? Isn't Doge a meme coin? I thought it was. So it's funny that it's also like we're going with this for the name.
Like whoever owns the dogecoin is probably kind of stoked that they

got they're getting all this free pub free publicity for sure yeah because they just started advertising it yeah for all this things rock bottom dude um you know what i will say this because um they need different types of um because your gemstone character his job is he's a youth. Well, now I think he's just – he runs like a sect of the church called Prism.
So it's very inclusive. So like if you're gay or non-binary or whatever, something – someone who's been othered by society, you now can join Prism and God's light will shine through me and I shoot the rainbow onto you oh baby i love that we need that we need like when i was younger there's only like a couple types of gay guys kind of there was like or it just seemed like there was now we need more like you know you need more there's all different types yeah there's all different types now i understand what you're saying like when you're a kid what you see on like movies and stuff there's only like like a secret gay guy yeah there's a secret like don't tell and then like a guy gay guy who's so straight telltale that you're like he's not gay and then the the most flamboyant man alive yeah yeah and then a woodpecker and then a woodpecker yeah or yeah a guy would just come to yeah i was like it was just waking people up yeah we'll not shut up about how gay they are yeah he's just talking about jessica simpson all the time i mean if you were to pick that would maybe the last uh pop star that i was gonna think you're gonna pull out of the crate but but yeah but i mean now there's like gay construction workers's gay like people that are archers.
Yeah, I think there always kind of was. But now you know, now you know.
Yeah, yeah. And now you can even in church have a gay section of church, right? Apparently, according to the righteous Shemstones, I don't know if other churches are doing this.
I think they should, they should allow, if there's just, you know, or maybe they don't have to make it exclusive or include, just make it. But I don't even think you need a section, right? That's it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But now there's more like, yeah, there's just more gay people everywhere now and more common. I like to see even more.
Like I would love to see gay train conductor or that's what my dad was. Really? Yeah.
He was a train conductor uh yeah i think you know what i'm sick of is you watch a movie it's like if he hit my friend dude i i mean now that you say it it rings a bell for me uh he uh he didn't hit your friend but he did he has murdered people really yeah with a train with a train unreal with a train uh yeah he would say that you go you go he was like it's so gross obviously and my dad's so funny he's like yeah tell you what i'm like a little kid he's told me this story he's like hit a hobo yeah and i'm like oh what and he's like yeah and i'm and i'm like oh is he alive i'm a little kid so i'm like is he alive? And he's like, no. Looked underneath the train.
I'm like, oh, is he alive? I'm a little kid, so I'm like, is he alive? And he's like, no.

Looked underneath the train.

I'm like, geez, looks like ground beef.

I was like, we could grill up some burgers with this bum.

And I'm like, geez, chill, dude.

This is a human being.

Who wants a bum on a bun?

Yeah, so he's murdered.

Bum fights?

How about bum with fries?

Like what?

Dude.

I can't believe that.

I don't believe that. A little happy meal.
A very unhappy meal. Where was he? In what district was he hitting people in or what section of the country did he even? I think this was Iowa, Nebraska zones.
Yeah, so that's a good area to, if you know, I feel like bums be passing out on train tracks there that if you were to think of like a classic bums be sleeping on train tracks that would is you think of that area that's around yeah yeah yeah why do people it amazes me that people get hit on train tracks it's like that's the only place you can be five feet five feet away from there. Just don't fall asleep there.
Like, why there? I don't know. I wonder if it's warm.
Maybe the tracks are, they conduct some warmth because the trains go up and down them. Maybe.
I would say just also maybe 15 feet away. Right.
Right. And maybe.
And cover yourself up. You know how there's usually rocks along the side? Just cover yourself up with the rocks.
Yeah. Off to the side.
Right.

Stay warm.

That seems warm. I agree.

Yeah, look at this warm guy under these rocks, huh?

Yeah, dude.

I think, do you think you would be a good homeless person?

Let me think for a second.

I think you get the hang of it quick.

I think I would commandeer an area of a park.

That's what I would do.

I would find a park,

stay in it for a couple days,

and see like an area where nobody really goes. See, that's the that's the hard part because in la there's people everywhere you gotta you gotta go you know and maybe some of these fires were i mean i don't know i'm not pointing blame but like it would make sense i know if i was a homeless guy i'd be up in them hills man i'd be up in them hills.
I'd be covered in like coyote skins because I've gone on some hunts. Yeah.
Right? And then you have a little bonfire and you're just roasting coyotes and stuff for food. Yotes, they call them.
Roasting yotes. Roasting yotes.
Yeah, roasting yotes. Roasting some yotes.
And then you maybe have your own little like barbecue stand but only for other homeless people. And they're like, oh, shit, I got to roll up in them hills, get some yotes, get a yotes burger.
Ron's slinging yotes, yeah. Ron's got a fresh batch of yote on the grill.
Yeah, so that's kind of what I think I'd be doing. So you'd be high-end homeless then? Well, I think if you're going to be homeless, you want to be high-end.
But they're going to call the police immediately. Poor be like oh there's a you know that's going to be me in a week uh but rich people like

get this guy get this guy out of here but you have to be so up in the hills they don't even know

you're there oh and you're and you're you know you're killing yotes so you're like doing a

service like rich people don't want yotes around because they kill the dog they kill like little

dogs and stuff you could tell them straight up hey i'm going to be back behind your house i'll

live back there every now and then if you have some some used Burberry or whatever, throw it back there. I think that's how you have to do it because you don't want anyone.
No one wants just someone living right behind their house and they don't know the guy. Like you want to be like, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? I'm Theo.
I'm going to be living directly behind your house your house i'm gonna be on the lookout for yotes

yeah i'll be calm i'll be quiet i'll fend off woodpeckers you'll sleep if you got like a dirty

blanket or something that you don't want anymore throw toss my way back at limes but i'm not

asking for anything i'm not asking i'll just out here yeah i'm protecting your home honestly if

you hear somebody singing jewel once in a while that. Yes.
Just singing these foolish games. Yeah.
And also that's a beautiful song. So they might do that.
Yeah, I think there is a way to live symbiotically with homeless people. I think the problem is in some districts homeless people start to battle against each other.
Homeless territory. Can you bring up some of that? don't like that territorial fights oh yeah there's straight wars dude well there's a lot of that um and there was a group of homeless people that attacked a renaissance fair one weekend really i guess that you couldn't tell who's who like you don't know who's fighting who you're like either he's renaissance guy or he's homeless he's i know he's covered in fur and eating a turkey leg but that's either a turkey leg or a yoke leg i'm not sure which one it is the yokes are thick homie that's all i'm saying you got some thick yotes in them hills let's go to this quarrel right there it says the top one it says do homeless people ever get territorial yeah dude um most hobos have a campsite.
They know the area extremely well, and I've seen a couple of really – Interesting alert systems. Alert systems.
I've heard of some being booby-trapped but never encountered that myself. Okay.
And I like that on this forum, we're bringing back the word hobo because I don't think hobo is a derogatory term. In fact, if I was homeless, you know how now you have to say there's like a new term for homeless? It's called like unhoused.
Unhoused, I think. Right.
I think hobo's better. Hobo's like a fun, like you think you have a stick and a knapsack, you're riding the rails.
We have the wave cotton, I do. Yeah, it's like a more fun term.
I personally. Who's got a tangerine for Danny? Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. Yeah, that's the kind of shit.
Yeah. Oh, God.
Being a hobo. My buddy rode on trains.
He jumped train cars for a little while. I think that'd be fun to do.
He said one of the problems is, though, this is one of the big mistakes that hobos make. Because are hobos technically people that ride the trains? Is that who it is? That rings a bell.
Bring up hobos. How do they travel mostly? My dad said that part of his job was to go up, walk up and down the trains and kick them out.
And my dad was like, I'd let them sleep. That's a good man.
It's just crazy that your dad, what's up Dennis? That your dad hit people with trains and then you got hit by something. Yeah.
A hobo is a migrant worker in the United States.

Hobos, tramps, and bums are generally regarded as related.

But distinct, a hobo travels and is willing to work.

A tramp travels but avoids work if possible.

A bum neither travels nor works.

Yeah.

Bums, that kind of – I mean you don't want to be called a bum.

If they call you a bum, you're like offended.

I don't travel.

I don't work.

I don't do anything.

A hobo is like, hey, I'm getting out there.

I'm mixing it up.

I'm willing to work.

Yeah.

I'm going to work. Yeah.
I'm willing to work. I'm willing to work.
I'll travel. Yeah, we'll travel.
But I think one of the things is a lot of them die in the train cars because they close the door and they don't realize that they can't unlock it from the inside. And it gets super hot or super cold.
Yeah. And also my dad says sometimes they're grain cars and you can climb up and then the grain is like open and you can climb in and then you sink into the grain.
No. Yeah.
So they'll die that way too. Took your coat off and stood in the grain.
I don't know that song. Was that something you just made up? This is Le More Jewel.
Oh, dude. I wish I knew Le More Jewel.
I wish I had a deeper knowledge of Jewel. You know, my house was just broken into the other day, dude.
What? Yeah. My house was...
The house we just saw the photo in with the baby in the boat in the yard? Different house, different house. Wow.
I have a house in Hollywood. And yeah, they broke into my house was uh the house we just saw the photo in with the baby in the boat in the boat in the different house different house i have a house uh in hollywood and uh yeah they broke into my house in and out in under eight minutes pros that's a long eight minutes eight minutes bang adam vine cops take a scary spill this is the second part of this story okay so the so then i get they robbed my house and then i they totally destroyed my security system by the way security system didn't do shit they dismantled it like that these guys are pros they just came in they cut some wires it was done and uh then they were gone so i'm like gotta redo my security system so i pay for them to come and set up the whole thing again and uh and then the cops come because the they didn't do it right the alarm goes off i'm out of town so the cops come they're checking the property this poor cop falls 15 or so feet uh like trying to check out my property breaks his arm no gun goes flying baton goes in a bush dude did they catch it's a gnarly fall no so when the alarm goes off uh there's no one there i get a call and the cop's like hey do you mind if we walk through your door's unlocked i'm like oh did i get robbed again for the second time in two weeks and he's like uh can i walk through your property so i'm like sure uh he walks through i don't get a call and then my neighbor calls me and he's like hey is everything okay he sends me a video of this i'll show you later of this cop absolutely eating shit oh i felt so bad for him also like you don't want the cops to hate you i'm like and did he fall off of something off of a ledge or something yeah so how they broke into my house was also where they were checking.
You can climb up the side of this hill to get in my bedroom, and they smashed a window to get in, but the cops, when they put the window back in, my contractor didn't lock my door like a fucking bonehead, right? Like a hobo. Like a true hobo moved.
That's more of a tramp move yeah that is a tramp move almost almost i won't say that because that's too offensive to my contractor but that was a tramp god why'd you do it yeah so and so the cop went what one cop went in the house didn't find anyone lur And then the other cop, I guess he was being a nice dude. He was like, I got some mud on my shoes.
I don't want to tramp through this guy's home. So he tries to climb back down, split, splat, falls 15 feet.
He gets up, his arms kind of dangling like this. And the other cop is down there.
He's like, are you okay? He doesn't doesn't say you know when you're in a lot of pain yeah you don't say a word like a lot of like you make a sound that doesn't have any sound yeah it's like yeah and so he didn't say anything I was like oh this guy's he's not feeling right fuck yeah felt bad for the poor guy and did the burglars steal a lot of things that were important or no? No, they, I mean, it was just like. TVs and shit.
Not even. They were like in and out in eight minutes.
They stole like my wife's purses and stuff. Which, by the way, I didn't know how much purses were.
I was a little offended that this woman has this many purses. I was like, oh, there's just a few purses.
And then she told me how much purses cost. I'm like, you got to stop buying purses, lady.
Damn. You're not going to have anything to put in the purses.
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, the point of a purse is to hold the things that are important.
But evidently the important thing is the outside. I didn't know that.
That's kind of crazy. It's kind of an anomaly for what life is like or whatever.
I don't know if anomaly is the right word, but that's unbelievable, dude. Yeah.
God. Yeah.
So it sucked. It's the second time that house has been robbed.
I'm a bummed hmm so i wonder if that's just happening more nally do you hear your neighbors and stuff talking about it or yeah so uh blake in his neighborhood has been a lot of

thieves in the midst as well um they're saying it's like gangs like gangs are coming in and they

they'd like know their shit because this these guys took my internet down they like had an

internet blocker so they pulled up disconnected the internet So that way the alarms won't go off or anything. Yeah, and so they – well, the alarm would go off, but the like ring cameras went down.
So like I didn't even know. I didn't even know it was robbed until my gardener was like cleaning and was gardening.
And he was like, Mr. Adam, I don't think there should be a hole in your window but it was right after those big winds we had the uh El Ninos oh god Santa Ana's you've been through a lot and uh I was like did a rock fly through the window yeah what could have happened yeah I was I was like yeah what what flew through did a mango? Did an orange fly through this window?

Was it a run by fruit team?

You know?

But it wasn't.

It was a criminal organization.

God.

Yeah, dude.

I wonder if they're tracking people, knowing when people are out of town, especially if they're actors and stuff, if they're working at certain times or just.

Yeah, maybe.

It's a brave move just to climb up somebody's balcony and see what's going on.

Dude, it was at 8.21 p.m., like a time when people are out walking dogs and stuff. So, yeah, they were just— Or would have been home.
Yeah, would have been home. Cheeto Vera just had somebody pull up on him.
You see that video? Mm-mm. He's a UFC fighter, and he was working in his truck.
This is pretty crazy. First of all, UFC fighter Cheeto Vera was working in his truck as a man with what appears to be a knife tried approaching him.
Oh, dude. I mean, first of all, you see this guy working on his truck.
He's got neck tattoos. Yeah, this dude pulls a knife out right here.
Oh, crazy. Oh, he's so lucky he didn't get shot in the back.
Like, just like murder town, USA. It ufc guys that they're ready they think defense first dude he has a a shotgun just laying on his front like that was so easily grabbable yeah well that's that's i mean you're ready you're ready those ufc guys are ready dude if you even fucking whisper to them wrong you hit the wrong octave during a secret and those guys will ready they just all of a sudden they just got like throwing stars just like oh they will remodel the way you breathe you have to really you got to be careful around those guys they're severe i feel like i couldn't i mean i i own a gun it's so tucked away i would never get to it you got to put both legs down put like this.
If you don't know if it's really a strong kickback, have your wife lean against your back like this with her arm up. Yeah, so it's a lot to do.
Right, but you guys are prepared as a team then. Yeah.
And you got to pop off. I think if somebody, you know, I don't know.
It's like if somebody came in your room, what would you do? Say you wake up, right? you think there's somebody in your room yeah yeah yeah yeah uh i would like to think i'm ready ready to go say something first good evening what do you do well i was home my alarm kept fucking up because they when they redid it they they fucked up so it would just go off is terrifying. And I'm up there staying by myself.

And it was like 1 a.m.

I'm like trying to go to sleep.

And all of a sudden the alarm goes off.

After the burglary in your house. After the burglary.

And I go, hello.

Yeah.

I like lower.

I like lower.

I lower my voice.

I'm like, sound not like me. I sound a little.
I mean, so I'm like, hello. I've got a gun.
I'm like, I don't have a gun. You sound like Peter Griffin, dude.
I've got a gun. I sound like a guy who didn't make it on The Sopranos.

Like he auditioned, but did not get cast.

I've got a gun.

I've got a gun.

Oh, I'm doing a bad dice.

Hey, watch out.

Oh, I got a gun.

I'll shoot you.

You start playing that video from Home Alone. Oh, yeah, yeah.
The burglars. You dirty animals.
Keep the change. They're laughing so hard in the other room, the burglars.
Yeah, they're still stealing all my shit. Just like, this guy's good, man.
This guy's the best. We got to steal from here more often.
Will you keep a home? God, you've had a life riddled with things man yeah i didn't realize that i'm riddled you've had a lot of riddling going on will you keep up will you keep a home in charleston are you glad to be gone from charleston i'm i'm gonna miss charleston i wish i would have bought a place there just so i had more of a reason to go back all the time. But – and also not a lot of crime there.
So I probably would have been safe. Yeah.
Have you been? Have you spent any time in Charleston? I lived in Charleston for a while. Oh, you did? Yeah.
I hitchhiked up there to chase a girl that I was in love with that almost had – didn't have to get a cease and restrain or whatever. But it got close to just loitering late at night.
That's okay. It was a little rear window situation.
We've all been through some things, right? Yeah, yeah. It was college time.
You were practicing for an upcoming role of a stalker? What? I was just – this is – I'm an actor. I'm researching a role.
Like, we haven't been – we haven't seen you in any roles yes i know i'm only 17 and i i'm not i've never acted anything nor do i have a career how do you expect me to get a role yeah i've got to practice but that was um yeah i love it there i mean it's amazing um yeah um danny mcbride said that you and uh tony would go and work out a lot over there Was that a real thing? Yeah, we were. He's like a fucking true athlete.
He's got like a real jawline. Mine like ebbs and flows.
Yeah, look, he's all jacked. Look at that guy.
He's real jacked and juicy. I'm less jacked and less juicy.
But I do. What's weird is we work out together all the time.
And his morphed into that and I look like how I look like, you know, like a regular guy. Yeah, like a guy.
Like it's just a guy you see and you're like, I bet he eats cheeseburgers. Yeah, I hope that guy is okay.
Yeah. With me? I think people are like, yeah, I hope that guy is – you know.
Like you think I look like I'm not okay? No, I think you seem like – like, oh, I i hope that guy's okay i'm trying to think of a job that i would see say if i saw you oh mailman son of uh son of mailman proud proud son of a mailman who's trying to make this father proud mailboy i like that mailboy uh and i'm not offended yeah i'm not offended by that okay yeah i think that's that's assessment of what I look like. Yeah, I think I look like where you're like, ah, maybe that guy works out.
My neighbor hilariously saw me. She's like, hey, she's the daughter of the people that live next door to me.
And she was like 22. And she saw me working out in my garage.
Sometimes I work out in my garage and I have my shirt off. And she stopped and she goes, oh, and i'm like hey how's it going and she goes wow i didn't know you worked out offended dude that's an offensive thing to say to someone yeah yeah um so but i do yeah it's like if you show somebody your wiener like a chick your wiener like i didn't know you'd have a wiener yeah like whoa that's a yeah okay i think it's fairly obvious i don't have one of those yeah then i need to get some different clothes i think or yeah spruce up yeah grow the facial hair out a little bit down yeah dude can you believe that mail is still a thing getting mail can you believe that believe that right now as we talk sometime today, a man, a grown man or grown woman – That looks like me.
He's just trying to make my father proud. Yeah, that looks like you.
That's what I'm making my father proud. He's like, he's going to see me delivering this mail and he's going to look at me and be like, look at this bright shooting star.
He's going to see me as Danny McBride at that party, walking through the cloud of smoke. You're a bright shooting star as I'm sliding some mail through a slot.
Yeah. But can you believe somebody is going to do that today? Instead of just emailing us and telling us what they need to tell us, somebody is going to drive over to our house.
Yeah, that's wild. Walk up there, risk getting attacked by a dog because that's

all they do all day is battle dogs.

Dogs hate mailmen. Battle dogs,

battle senior citizens, and gangs

that are like, fuck mail.

They're like, give me that fucking mail.

By the way, there's never anything good in mail. It's either

like a ticket.

It's like, oh, I got to pay this thing.

They finally tracked me down. Or a coupon.
Or just a coupon for a place you never want to go to. Like, hey, you want a car detail? Drive two and a half hours to this place and I'll give you $15 off.
You're like, oh, fuck, I don't know. Is that worth it? I feel like the gas is going to offset the discounts.
And there's even a lot of the things now. It's like, are you interested in foster care? It's just like the – you should just be like discounts on avocados and stuff.
But now it's like the mail has gotten really, really crazy, man. It's gotten pretty rogue, I feel like.
Yeah, for me, it's all just like, hey, do you want to buy your neighbor's house? Yeah. Because it's all just like people going like, here's a house in your neighborhood that you can buy and i'm like i already live in my neighborhood i'm trying to move three houses down they live in this neighborhood dude quit fucking telling me about a house that's nearby yeah you know that's so true it's like if i'm living in a house you would think you wouldn't come advertise to me to buy a house next like next door or like maybe go like hey do you want to live somewhere cooler than you like if you're it's kind of a whatever neighborhood and you're like you want to live in like a slightly better neighborhood i'll think about it yeah but there's like literally my neighborhood you've done some fun things man you got to do some wrestling recently is that right oh do you see that yeah bring it up yeah dude i did some fucking choke slam aew great job i know i saw that right there aew i just jimstone star adam divine hits up aew wow look at this is this a stiff person i don't think so jack is that a stiff person those jeans are hanging on yeah those jeans are hanging on by a thread right there oh butt cheeks kaboom whoo flexing with! Woo! Flexing with all my might.

Flexing with all my might.

You'd have been a good wrestler, man.

Thank you for saying that, dude.

Or a mailman.

Look at this, dude.

Now you guys all kind of look like Tony right there.

I feel like you're all giving a lot of Tony Cavallaro energy right there.

Yeah.

I gotta get Tony in here soon.

Yeah, get him in here.

He's a good guy.

He's one of a kind, man.

Yeah.

He checks in on me all. But every couple of months, he'll check in and just say, hey.
What a sweetheart. You know? He's just a sweet man.
Do you know him? I know him pretty decently. Yeah.
Yeah. Good.
I do know him. I really, yeah, he's an exceptional guy.
Mm-hmm. He just, he has a way of always staying positive, it seems like.
He's one of those guys that it's nice. I collect those guys like as my friends.
I like to have some people that just hype you up because Adam Ray is like that as well. Adam used to open up for me on the road all the time, and it was nice when you're on the road to have someone.
You're kind of like, oh, man,, we got to travel again today, yada, yada, to just have someone be like, how great is this?

Right.

How sick is this theater?

Yes.

You need somebody to be the positive.

You're overwhelmed.

Hype you up.

And you're like, yeah, it is sick.

Look at us go.

Get in here, buddy.

Yeah, I got like Amir K comes with me.

Oh, yeah, dude.

Amir's a positive guy.

Lee Kimbrell, he comes through.

The Kentucky Nightmare, I think is his nickname or something.

We can... I got guy like Amir K comes with me.
Oh, yeah, dude. Amir's a positive guy.
Lee Kimbrell, he comes through. The Kentucky Nightmare, I think is his nickname or something.
Kentucky Wolfcat or something. But he comes through.
And they both have good energy. Just pause it.
They're like, let's go do someone's. And I do too.
But it's like, yeah, I just get like. I feel like both.
We're pretty positive, guys. You just got to get ready for the show, though.
It's like, you know, it's like I spend a lot of my time taking care of myself, like you're saying. Stretching.
Stretching. I'll get into town.
It's like, yeah, stretching, get in an ice bath, trying to work out, get in an IV. You fucks with a cold plunge? All of it.
Dude, me too. I was in it last night.
I like a cold plunge. It's so nice.
What you keep your cold plunge at? Me? I keep it right at about 54. Ooh.
I'll do 10 minutes in there. 10 minutes.
I keep it at 40 and I'll do three to five. Ooh, 40 is baby, baby.
That's cold. That's ice, ice cold.
And I really can't stay. It's cold outside.
Isn't that song just like about like, like rape or something? They said it was allegedly about dating, like tricking a girl in a stank. Oh, that's you? Yeah, there I am.
That's at your house. That's a nice one, huh? Yeah, Renew.
They're great, dude. Renew Cold Plunges.
They're pretty fantastic. I got a blue cube one that I keep in my garage that a friend of mine made, but they're both...
Yeah, they're great. And Cold Plunginging it's the kind of thing though that i wish now that i have it i do it less i feel like i used to seek it out oh really yeah now that it's there i'm like i could get in it right now or i'll get in it later it'll be later yeah you know what i should do i should just crank the heat up on it because it's so cold it It's like you get it like your joints like.
Make it a hot bath in there, you think? Just make it 52 or whatever. Oh, yeah.
I like doing that for 10 minutes. That for me sets me in a good range, you know.
Isn't it weird that now we're like all about health and fitness, but it catches 10 years ago and we're just like little scum buckets. Oh, just out there.
I know myself, I was just like gargling with vodka. Just like.
Where you getting it in, huh? Oh, dude. Just going for it.
Just every night. Were you drinking a lot? I drink.
Yeah, I would drink a lot. Wow.
Where were you drinking at? Well, just like at the comedy club or whatever. Like back when I was.
I mean, maybe not 10. Yeah, maybe 10 years ago.
But like that's when Workaholics was sort of peaking so probably you've been working for a long time yeah like anything yeah but anything like uh back when i was in the comedy clubs all the time or like when you're on the road all the time that's an easy place just because you're in a new place you're like well let's go to the bar after the show oh yeah that's for sure yeah did you guys drink at AEW who'd you guys fight in AEW did you fight because I saw Big Justice out there oh yeah I was I was looking at the Rizzler and I'm like I might be able to take him you know I saw him the other night yeah he's nine years old Rizzler's everywhere dude oh I think I offended these guys Big Justice and uh uh because I I said uh I didn't even take a bite of the cookie and And then I said, look at Big Justice's eyes. Upset.
He's upset because I gave it three booms without tasting it. And I guess you're supposed to give it five booms.
What? Who has time to do five booms? They do. They have all the time to do the booms, dude.
And I didn't know. This was at the Super Bowl.
I might have been a few drinks deep. Yeah, for sure.

First of all, you're touching the back of a child. I'm touching a child.

Look at my face is hanging a little bit.

Dude, this looks like literally a Christmas card from Epstein's Island right here, dude.

There is a brave Italian, which some people would say like kind of the Magellan of Costco.

There's a Costco Magellan with a child. With just his son.
Okay, that is his son. I believe so.
And then there's Adam Devine who's had a couple drinks at the Super Bowl. Yeah, lurking, dude.
Would you, if you were, I mean real talk, if you didn't know Epstein was a creep and he invites you, he's just a cool billionaire that you met at a party and you're not getting any weird vibes.

He asks you, he's like, hey, I got this jet.

You want to come to my island?

You got nothing going on that week.

You'd go to the island, right?

Yeah.

Me too.

When people are like, check the logs.

I'm like, not everybody.

Because even creeps got to take a day off. Like even, you're not fucking the kids every day.
Yeah, if you're a pervert, yeah, that's probably a seasonal or like. Yeah, it's a special event.
It's like just when your dudes are there to party. It's like, but otherwise you have to also have like regular people.
Regular. Because here's the thing.
You have to keep up the ruse that it's a regular place where people go to have fun that's what i think so that the guys who do go in perv or the females that do go in perv out there yeah because it could have been men and women doing it and i'm not talking about the young people we don't know but the adults they need to be able to trick their spouses into believing that they go there and they're like you've been there the one time you know it's a chill place there's coconuts yeah there's coconuts and trees ukulele there's like that guy doing the ukulele there's the fire dancers that come out and perform yeah there's like a lot of young kids whose parents aren't there starting a band or whatever they're just starting a band yeah yeah they're just you know this is getting dark yeah sorry there's a character yeah there's like a guy just doing funny yeah yeah he's just doing little artwork where you you're like makes your nose too big something that kind of offends you but you're like it's funny right and everyone's like it's really funny and you're like okay all right yeah all right yeah i know i see that and i'm like i don't know about i don't think all of them are creeps like for sure some for sure for sure some are we haven't gotten dude there's no way we're ever getting the real Epstein files. It's been redacted.
It's being manipulated right now so much. Well, it's because some of these politicians are probably on it.
Yeah, they're on it. And whether they were the ones doing dastardly deeds or not, who knows? I don't know.
But if your name is on it, like if your name was on it, you don't want it out even if you didn't do anything wrong. Even though you were just there sipping on a smoothie, just having a fun afternoon on this cool private island.
I haven't been on a ton of private islands. I would like to go.
Yeah, I got invited to one one time. I think it was LeVar Burton.
It was LeVar Burton. Yeah, maybe he was a Reading Rainbow guy.
He's got a a private island does he do the Virgin Airlines or whatever no no that's LeVar Arrington maybe no that is not his name it's not LeVar even a little bit Richard Branson yes very much not LeVar but yeah yeah yeah oh you went to you went there no they something. He has an island.
There was something there, and I somehow got invited.

Oh, sick. It didn't seem like something that was for me, maybe.

I don't know.

It seemed like.

Okay, so maybe you wouldn't go to Epstein Island.

Maybe I would be the one to get tricked.

But here's the thing.

Say you're at Epstein Island, and you notice things are weird.

What do you then?

You just stay on the tennis courts or whatever?

Like, what would you do all weekend?

Yeah, you're just like, you call yourself the pickleball king. Yeah.
And It's always just over there trying to not see somebody on both sides. Yeah.
Yeah. There's no one to hit too.
Cause everyone's like, ah, I'm the, this back dark room seems a lot of fun. Um, yeah.
And also like the Diddy white parties. I'm glad I was never during that peak.
Like I was, I was talking with my boys. I was like, dude, if we threw out a different vibe in the Workaholics days when it was just peaking and that we get the invite.
Like, hey, do you want to go to the Diddy party? I'm going all white, everything. Well, if Shamar Moore would have been one of the Workaholics or if you'd had like a probably more of a black cast member, urban cast member, then you might.
And say there's a chance to get invited. If Eric Griffin was more plugged in to the scene.
If Eric Griffin was a little bit more Griffin than Eric. Yeah, absolutely.
Then I think he could have been invited. And then if you get there, then what do you see? They just brought up Drewski in a thing.
Did you see that? I did. But he then came out.
He's like, dude, I had nothing to do with it.

It was like in 2018, I was living in my mom's basement.

I'm like, yeah, that's probably true.

But it's just crazy.

Why?

But why even let that leak?

You have to start thinking if something gets leaked, why are they doing like because it's

all some manipulative tactic, you know?

Yeah.

And so I don't know.

I mean, who knows?

Obviously, there's victims and people were doing dastardly things.

But you never heard anything about that when you were –

No, I didn't.

I just wasn't cool.

I didn't get those invites.

I for sure would have gone there and just kicked it by the fucking –

Shrimp cocktail.

Yes.

I'd have been like –

Just eating –

You know they have a seafood tower.

Yeah.

This is a diddy party. You know there's towers of seafood.
so i'm just sitting there eating crab legs licking up the butter they're like someone's trying to tag me in to the orgy just covered in oil you're like no you do that point at your legs you're like i can't because of all the scars i can't uh dick dick chopped off dick was lopped off in the accident uh you do that thing where you know how break dancers they start to do the break dance but then they don't get going you know that's that's what you do you're like oh shit oh oh pull the hammy pull the hammy right quick i can't get in the orgy yeah dude that's right i would have been like in the vaping section on the side of the orgy if they're like oh if somebody gets hurt if a couple people get hurt when you're like you're deep on the bench it's like when they put in the water guy from like to make that three-point shot or they put in the down syndrome guy to make the six-pointer or whatever they tell them it's a six-pointer that's what i would have been in yeah you're real deep on the bench when you come but then you hit that that money shot you're the hero you're the hero of the whole party people People go crazy. Did you get to body slam Big Justice? Did you see the Rizzler? You fight him too? I didn't fight the Rizzler.
No. And yeah, I didn't get to fight any of the children, which I was bummed.
I was bummed. Yeah.
Because I'm like, someone needs to take these kids down. And I'm about their size, dude.
I'm not that. But no, I only chokeslammed an adult male.
So that kind of sucks. But if you got a chance to remodel the fucking skeleton.
Dude, I love this phrase. Remodel.
Or one of these boom babies, dude. Take them down.
Yeah. Did they boom in front of you? Who's got the boom now? Right.
Who's got the boom now, bitch? Did they steal the boom? Did they boom in front of you or not? There's a lot of booming. They're booming all over anywhere they go.
They're booming, dude. Have you not met the boom guys? I never.
I met the Rizzler the other night at dinner. I saw him.
Oh, dude. But, dude, he was drinking Dr.
Pepper past 845. I'm like.
He's a wild man. Yeah.
I mean these kids are off the rails. But I like that it's a new generation of superstars.
Oh, there you are. I have Craig's.
A new generation of superstar children. Like this used to be like Corey Haim.
Right. Oh, yeah.
He's the Macaulay Culkin of our time. That's what I said.
Yeah, exactly. But it seems like they're not going off the rails.
We'll out here in 15 years if he's gonna have like a sad tale about his time well how does it end yeah that's the thing you have to look 10 years in the future because he's a superstar dude he does he does this maneuver people go wild he was crazy it's it's his uh you know yeah look someone already beat you beat you to it they knew exactly the internet undefeated man you have a good idea it's it's up there it's already they already did it it's done yeah was there a movie that you wanted that like well yeah the riser i mean i'll tell you this he definitely seemed like his grades were failing somebody's like his grades suck that's what i heard oh really yeah we're we're at craig's yeah yeah people people were passing around those pot pies they have at craig's and they're like hey before you take a bite of that just know the Rizzlers great. Yeah.
Yeah. People were passing around those pot pies

they have at Craig's

and they're like,

hey, before you take a bite of that,

just know the Rizzlers

great.

Fucking suck.

Suck, dude.

Dude, he had a little tattoo

that said,

fuck social studies.

Oh, damn, dude.

That's rough.

That's a wild tat

to have at that age.

So obviously,

he's been going through a lot,

you know?

He said,

I said,

he said this,

these lips haven't seen a school lunch in two years. That's what he said.
So obviously, he's living high on the hog. Dude, I don't even know.
I thought he was mute because all I've ever seen him do is. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got it. It's the shh.
He does too many things, though, kind of. I think it's just this, right? And he's showing showing his jawline that's what's kind of cool about him is he doesn't have much of a jawline but i like he's just like i don't give a shit i got the riz so come come at me it's like a good way to build up uh self-esteem you know for for children that are out there some people are saying he's young great he's.
He's the actual Young Gravy. You know, Young Gravy

was at the wrestling event, too.

Nuh-uh. Yeah.
And Young Gravy

was at the Super Bowl,

where I was also hanging out with Big Justice.

Oh. So, I mean,

they're running in the same circles, dude.

You guys have the same menstrual cycle.

Yeah, I guess so, yeah. But that's crazy.

But here's the craziest part

to me, is that Big Justice isn't related to the Rizzlers. So I thought there were brothers, dude.
I thought there were brothers. These are just two social media kids getting together, doing, doing their, their social media things.
Dude, years from now, there will be like, like these, like baseball card signing things where it'd be like the Rizzler. You and me will be there.
That would be sick. Water baby or whatever.
Some baby that survives on like the – You know, I think I'm going to do a thing with tops to have a baseball card. Really? Yeah, you should.
I bet they'll make a baseball card of you. It's kind of sick.
It's kind of cool. It would be kind of cool.
Yeah. And then there's these kids, MD Foodie Boys.
Everybody's been watching them. I like those MD Foodie Boys.
I like them because they're so sincere about like, have you tried nachos with jalapenos? Yeah. It's actually pretty good.
Yeah. Let's watch one.
I'm just a – if I had to choose, it'd probably be like pepperoni. But I'm not a big – I'm just a regular cheese guy.
I just do cheese. I don't do – I just do't really like pepperoni.
I'll do pepperoni, but same thing. Lots of other big pepperoni fans.
Dude, this is the podcast, and people love it. And I also love it.
They're just so sincere, man. How can you not have a...
Was there an age where you didn't like it? You're riled up. You're riled up right now, dude.
I don't know if I've ever seen you this riled. Well, I don't understand.
It's like, you're the foodie boys. What are you talking about? Whoa, dude.
It's okay. No, it's fine.
No, I like it. I like it.
Shit just fucking irks me because, dude, talk about some food. Talk about some ragatoni or something.
Talk about some – See, well, this is the genius.

You start off –

You start off –

They're little kids, right?

So they're starting off with like hot dogs.

Like what condiments do you like?

Do you like –

On your cheeseburger, what condiments?

Mostly condiment-based.

Now they're moving on to pizza.

What things do you like on your pizza?

And then as they grow, the dishes get more complex. Like a tiram we're gonna grow with them and and their flavor palates i think that's i think that's what people love and relate to because it's because you're not going to them for an actual like this is the flavor they're not like chefs they're children so it's just kind of funny to watch these kids sincerely talk about whether they like pepperoni on their pizza or not got it yeah well i just think um yeah i just i don't know there's uh yeah i guess am i hating on children now what am i doing you're right yeah it's okay i'm excited for them it's okay to hate on soup or something at least i want to see them evolve a little.
Like gazpacho or something. Well, just a four-minute conversation about pepperoni on – but no information.
That's the thing. It's astounding to have four people and walk away from each conversation they do with zero information at all.
Yeah. About food.
I understand what you're saying. About food at all.
Yeah. I understand what you're saying.
But I think – I wish what you're saying but i i think i wish them luck yeah i think they're i mean the runaway successes i mean i'm sure people look at my career and are like what is he doing like this sucks right like why doesn't he do xyz i'm like i'm just doing me baby there they are right now but how does it end mclovin that kid mclovin uh no name what's the one m McGriddle is the middle one, right? Chubb Perm. Okay, you have no name, McGriddle, Chubb Perm.
Yeah. So that's also, I think that's a, isn't that a trans wrestler? Yeah, it seems like it could be.
He's got an earring. He's kind of the bad boy of the group, which is kind of sick're basically they're the new kids on the um on the block yeah yeah uh did you ever have a an ear piercing did you ever yeah i had two of them did you yeah i did too yeah dude that shit was so fun dude it was we were kind of close up and you would still force something in on days you needed to feel cool dude i would yeah i try i wanted to get a gauge to have like, I wanted to be that guy.
Your characters had that, haven't they? I wanted a lip piercing. I wanted the whole thing.
I wanted to be punk rock, dude. I mean, I'm fucking.
I got an article star tattoo. Oh, you did.
Well, you have a lot of. You seem like you've been through a lot.
Yeah. Like a child of a Vietnam veteran.
Somebody, you yeah i've i i went through i i am happy to say i never went through like you know some kids were like oh i went through an emo phase or i went through like a goth phase i'm glad i didn't go down like a weird path where you're like yeah i wore a lot of fishnets in seventh grade or whatever i'm glad i didn't do that i had like small, yeah, I would bleach the tips of my hair. Right.
Yeah, I got a piercing, you know, in the left ear. You ever pierced your nipples or no? No, I never did the nips.
You do? No, I never did that. No, you never did nips.
That was a little while for me. That guy who did that was starting to be, he was doing a lot of drugs and he was secretly probably touching men in his car or whatever men who wanted it yeah i uh i i had a friend not a friend a guy i knew in high school uh not a friend not a friend uh okay uh he pierces his dick in high school dude in high school and i know for a fact he wasn't getting laid but he was saying like how good it's gonna like it's gonna feel right and he was saying like it feels so good and i'm like i know you're not getting laid dude we're both 16 17 years old i know that and also what kind of piercer is seeing a 17 16 year old boy and it's like let me i'll get i'll be the one to get in there yeah it was the whole thing was bizarre do you remember when the first guy hooked up with a girl and then the next weekend you guys all went out or something he like suddenly had a condom in his wallet or something or it was like suddenly he was like he would be like if the girls come let me talk to him just like it was seventh and eighth grade my one friend started having sex with our other friend.
And it was unreal. And it was years, dear God, years before the rest of us were catching up.
And so he like, he immediately went from like this kind of our, he was chub perm of our group. And then so, and then suddenly he's got this swagger to him, dude.'s no catching up yeah there's no catching up yeah there's nothing you can do to suddenly be in the cool group and then like he was able to talk to older guys now suddenly but yeah it was still i'm still rollerblading you know like i'm not i'm still like hey watch me backwards rollerblade is this sick and they're like dude.
We're now having sex with girls. And I'm like, oh, so you don't want me – you don't want to watch me like fucking swerve these cones real quick with these hips? He's like, I'm working on my hip movement right now, dude.
Yeah, yeah, dude. I was a little blader.
I was a little blader boy. Were you? Yeah, that was a little bit of a phase.
Oh, my God, dude. What happened to you? Dude, you're learning a lot about me, dude.
What happened to you? There's so much that occurred. Dude, well, I couldn't.
Rollerblading was easier in like eighth grade, was easier for me to do than a lot of other. I couldn't skateboard.
Like my friends were skateboarding. So I could rollerblade because it was just a smoother movement and easier on my joints.

So I was already like an old man thinking about my joints in eighth grade.

So it's just me like wiggling my hips, skateboarding behind my friends.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

It wasn't that offensive.

You don't have to be that disgusted by it.'re right were you wearing knee pads and stuff no no i'm still a bad boy yeah dude i'm still like wearing fucking chunky corduroy pants and like a fucking uh uh a sick metallica shirt with the lightning bolts you know i'm still fucking cool dude i still have like a bowl cut but my hair was was too i like still i have my hair is too like buoyant yeah so it would it just went like this oh yeah it's just like a little like the tip of a dick it was like a little dickhead just like right here and i could pull it i could pull the hair it was so buoyant i could pull it and it would go down to here dude and then you release it and go damn you had a beautiful thing going yeah i was i was looking good in the eighth grade man you've been through a lot man you've been through a lot dude do you um do you it will your stiffness is it getting better is it getting worse you over time? It's getting better. It ebbs and flows.
I have good days and bad days, but it is getting better. So I'm still hoping to – oh, to be in Marvel if they give me a call.
I got a lot of shit. Last time I came on here, I was like dunking on Marvel saying that they ruined comedy movies because everybody wants to watch these big budget things.

Dude, people were very mad.

My agents were upset at me.

Really?

Yeah.

Since you said that, everyone in the world has agreed with that exactly, including a lot of agencies.

It's like, well, look, if we can't get them in a Marvel movie, what are we going to do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, we've had a lot of great.

They were very mad at me.

They were like, don't, don't fuck with Marvel. Like, I cannot believe you said that on that podcast.
I'm like, I wasn't dunking on Marvel, dude. I was just saying I wish there were more comedies, but they don't make comedies anymore because everyone wants to see a $200 million epic.
Well, if they need like mailman or something, then Marvel will come. Thank God.
If there's a mailman superhero, I think I'm the guy, dude. What superhero would you be? Making your dad proud.
Yeah. I would be someone that, like, an unexpected superhero where they're like, this guy is not a superhero.
This normcore little bitch boy. Smoothie man.
Yeah. Soy boy.
Yeah, soy boy. There he is.
Yeah, little soy boy. There's so many heroes now, though.
It heroes now though it's like are these all heroes we're getting a little exhausted on the heroes 100 yeah well even um a lot of people were saying oh who was it just came out and said that they're not even it's hard to even have independent projects these days oh yeah i'm a director i'm trying to get a few independent movies off the ground right now.

Yeah, and it's tough, dude.

I've never done an independent movie.

I've always done with a studio or with Netflix or with someone like that.

Someone with them deep pockets.

How much budget do you need to make an independent movie, though?

I'm looking for like $7 million to $10 million.

Oh, that's a lot of money.

Yeah.

This is Mark Duplass right here. He's made a lot of great stuff.
He's made a lot of independent movies. Time for a big announcement.
Oh. For those of you who know our company, you know we love risking our money and making things independently that the traditional system would never make.
And we've done it for years with movies like The Puffy Chair and The One I Love and Safety Not Guaranteed and documentary series like Wild Wild Country and Evil genius. And we're doing it in television now, you know, with, with shows like Ramon Oh four and the creep tapes and Penelope.
But the problem is, we get it. You work, dude.
I know. We're like, you're right.
Value these things the way they used to. And honestly, we're sick of it.
And we know that you value these things. So we are going to be bringing you our newest independently made TV series.
The Long, Long Night, directly to you, the audience members. That's interesting.
Click the link below or in our bio. You guys did your movie independently, right? Yeah.
And you guys put your own money up? Yeah. Woo, boy.
Okay. Well, thanks, dude.
Yeah. What's the name of it? Do you have a name? It's called Busboys, yeah.
Busboys. Sick.
So it's just, Spade and I both worked as busboys in Arizona. I thought you were both hit by buses.
I was like, this would have been kismet. Oh, man.
It would have been crazy if we were all here, right here. Get Spade in here.
He just pops out behind the curtain. He's like, I'm crippled.
And we have a dolly that moves you around. Uh-huh.
Yeah. I'm just pushing everywhere.
So what's next? Your family's growing growing do you take a little time off of work when did you guys finish gemstones we finished a few months ago like three months four months ago uh and i've been just dad mode right now and i uh i have a movie in development at netflix i uh i'm selling this show with workaholics guys i got another show that i'm taking out out so it's a lot of like production like pre-production stuff and you know how it goes it's like we're gonna make the movie and I have like a couple movies that are in development and we're like we're making the movie and then it takes years dude years and you think it's happening and it takes so long.

But for me, I love it.

I love doing it.

But yeah, I still have that itch of like wanting to just get out there and get something done right now.

And that's why I do the podcast.

But with the Workaholics guys, this is important.

But I also miss doing standup, dude.

I was going to say, would you consider going out and touring again?

It's such a that's such a grind, though, once you have a family and you're acting and stuff like that.

I feel like that's a tough grind. Well, because it used to be like a fun escape from the grind of producing and starring in TV and movies because then you're like, well, now I'm going to go on the road with my boys and it's like a party and we're going to go for a few months and I'm going to do a ton of shows and it'll be great it's like a little escape from my regular life of acting and uh and now like with the family i'm like i just feel like a dastardly dog yeah well your wife had a freaking kid first of all which she i don't know if she should have done or not but i think she should have yeah okay but yeah once she did that it kind of puts you in the hot seat.
Yeah. Yeah.
And also like being around. That's supposed to be some kind of a joke.
Yeah. I was like blaming having a kid on just her.
Yeah. It's what are you doing? Having this fucking kid.
Yeah. How dare she? Actually, she slipped that one by me.
I just thought she was gaining weight. I'm like, look at my plump little Betty.
She's looking all sexy, a little round mound. Look at, look at her go smuggled a little basketball in there.
And then out came a kid, dude. It was wild.
You just keep tickling her? Yeah. Like, Hey, she's like, don't tickle me.
Something's going to pop out. She's like, Oh man, she's having spasms in her belly.
Like I do looking like a little handprint coming out just like me. Yeah, dude, it was wild.
When she had it, our son Bo turned around when they pulled him out. He looked right back at me, dude.
It was like – it stopped my heart. It was like – everyone says it's like a transformative thing to see your son or daughter be born.
But it stopped me dead in my – he looked right at me like,, bitch, what just happened? Like, I've been all cooking up warm inside. Right.
And now I'm out here all cold. He'd turn around and was just like.
Like, I'm the captain now. Yeah, it's like, I steer this ship.
I rise. Uh-huh.
Wow. Yeah, it was pretty wild.
Dude, the origin story of humans is pretty crazy that you climb out of some woman's belly, dude. It's like Greek mythology type shit.
It's the vagina though. Well, yeah.
Some of them come out the belly, dude. Actually, no, you were right.
You were right because it came, my wife had a C-section, so you were right. The perverts go out the vagina.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I did.
Did you? Yeah, I'm a little freak like that, dog. I'm a little freak like that.
Skit, skit. Skit, skit.
Dude, the... It's a potty.
Do not lick my mouth. That's what I did.
That's what I did. You're supposed to read the – it says on the wall in there, do not lick on the way out.
I know. I read it in like, watch me, bitch.
I'm gobbling. I'm gobbling up the world.
Watch me whip. Yeah.
Watch me nae-nae. Watch me nae-nae.
I almost said it at the same time adam divine man the ovan thanks so much dude for hanging out so fun i'm glad to see you be you're physically doing okay your family's growing um we got to keep making fun you have to keep making fun stuff this was one thing that i thought was really exceptional that uh danny mcbride said he goes you know i don't know if hollywood knew that they wanted eastbound because people always like, why don't they make shit like Eastbound and Down anymore? You always hear that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, nobody was asking us for something like Eastbound and Down.
Nobody was asking us for something like Vice Principal. It was like, we just made it and then said, we know this is funny, and then they jump on it, because you can't expect them to think of the next thing.
That's not what they do any he didn't say that's not what they do anymore but that's what i start to realize they don't have that creative thing anymore that's our job that's our job our job is to give them what we think is the funniest thing and that's what we did with workaholics and we're going to try to do with this new show if we actually get to make it is like you make what you think is the funniest and what you and your friends would laugh at and what you want to see, what you want to actually watch. And then hopefully other people get on board.
And I feel and I think you have a finger on the pulse too is we know what we like and it seems like a lot of other people like what we like as well. So, you know, I think you just have to make shit that you think is fun and funny and what, not even what other people want to see because they don't even know they want to see it until you make it.
Right. So that's the thing.
And that's a lot of things. It's like, if you wait forever to get somebody to sign off on your thing then it might not happen you just have to go and and try and figure it out and investing in yourself that's what i was like if i lose investing in myself i don't really fucking lose it's like and at least you did it and you had that experience and you know the nuts and bolts of creating something now so if you decide to do it again you can go this is what i would change that's what i would do differently yeah uh and also the like like uh with people making something that they think other people would want to see that's where you lose when you start to go i i know that they want to see this type of show.
Like this is what's selling or this is, Oh yeah. You know, I think that's when you get in a little trouble, like make what you want to make.
And then hopefully that'll catch on because as soon as you start to like go down the path, then it's derivative and people are like, didn't we already see this show? We've already done this. Then you're just kind of follow.
Yeah. Then you a follower yeah you know but yeah it's tough it's tough it's tough to figure it out and obviously you and i are we're speaking from a place where you know we can afford to try and make a project so it's like sure you know not trying to sound um like knowing that there's not a barrier to entry to that for uh regular folks it's not that huge i agree yeah i agree it's so different now that you can get a camera you can get a phone you can figure something out yourself how to make things you know well it was like when we did workaholic not to just keep harping on this shit but there's this is my experience is when we did workaholics it was the barrier of entry had just lowered it used to be like to make something like that it was a hundred thousand dollars to make you know to even make a short film uh for fifty thousand dollars or whatever and everyone had to put it on credit cards and like to try to make something that maybe would work i need to slurp off some producer somewhere you would have to you're constantly gobbling yeah you're constantly gobbling and someone wants you to use silverware when you blow them or whatever I'm like how rich is this dude my god fucking pour some gray coupon on that bitch and do do some gobbles uh but now you know it's just it was just like a camera and some lights and we were able to shoot something that comedy central was like what you doing over there right you know yeah yeah it's interesting i don't know i'm trying to sound inspirational to people um yeah me too i feel like it's a lot of word salad for me sometimes but uh yeah i'm just trying to be a fucking inspiration i think you are dude survivor of cement truck uh-huh you know the guys fought in the aew uh the fourth season of righteous gemstones going on right now new projects in the works the podcast you can lock in listen to Adam have ideas think about things share everyday stuff on his life um with uh some of the stars and um yep this is important Anders Blake Kyle Newechak yeah he's been off the pot he's been directing uh Happy Gilmore 2 so that that bitch is busy too busy for the pod must be nice Kyle must be nice um Adam Rylein thanks so much for hanging out dude best of luck man good to see you bud you too that's fun man yeah now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.

I found I can feel it in my bones.

But it's gonna take a little.