E561 Ari Shaffir

Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments as only he can.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
I have some tour dates to tell you about.

Speaker 1 I'll be in East Lansing. I'll be in Victoria in the Canada.
I'll be in College Station, Texas, Belton, Texas, Oxford, Mississippi,

Speaker 1 Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Nashville, Tennessee, baby.

Speaker 1 and Winnipeg in the Canada and Calgary in the Canada. All those tickets are at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
This is still the Return of the Rat Tour.

Speaker 1 I promise we'll end it one of these days when we've gone all the places that we can go. I'm very grateful that you guys continue to support us.

Speaker 1 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's a podcaster.

Speaker 1 He's been an integral part of comedy for a long time. Bridges a lot of...

Speaker 1 Bridges a lot of years and connections between other comics. He's certainly a type of glue in the humor world.
His latest special, America's Sweetheart, is now on Netflix.

Speaker 1 You know his podcast, You Be Trippin', and he's currently on the farewell tour going now through the rest of the year. I'm always excited to spend time with him and catch up.
Today's guest is Mr.

Speaker 1 Ari Shafir.

Speaker 1 Too much burrito. Did you? Ugh.
I fucking have American serving sizes and they hit you with not like chips and salsa first. You fill up on those.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some serving sizes are

Speaker 1 alarming. I can't tell if I'm, you know, there's an amount of serving size that you want to get, right?

Speaker 1 There's, but then some places that give too much, you're like, oh, that's, this is awesome of them.

Speaker 1 But then you start having it and you're like oh I'm gonna keep eating it I'm a dog and it's not good sometimes They're just overloading you with badness Yeah shitty fries We're like there's no seasoning this and then I ate them all

Speaker 1 I should have just been like no I'll get fried I have fry money

Speaker 1 I could go get more fries

Speaker 1 right here right now. I'm gonna eat them Yeah, I want like two bites too many would be perfect

Speaker 1 Okay, done with like one or two extra bites and then that's it

Speaker 1 buddy that uh That Trump interview was so fucking good. I've never seen anybody do it like that where it's like, I mean, this this is the way I'm reading it.
Like, I'm Theo.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you're here for me, not the other way around. Really? You're going to facilitate me being Theo.
Oh, wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I just felt had it.
I'd had an exhausted week that week. We'd had like a couple of interviews.
I think it was in New York and in

Speaker 1 Nashville. And so it was just like a lot of traveling.
I was like, I do not want to do this today. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You really have to prep for it. But it was just like burnt out, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think people, some people have said that they think it had an effect on the election and stuff. I don't really think that.
I think it was like a neither here nor there.

Speaker 1 He was just sitting there like, this for you. It's like when I go into bonfire with Jay and Dan, I would just like, oh, you guys have a routine here.

Speaker 1 I'll just sit back and maybe get one tagline in, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wish we'd have gotten more time to get to, I wish I'd gotten more time to talk to Donald Trump because I thought it would have been just, I knew we only had about like 55 minutes.

Speaker 1 So that's, that's a, you know, unique amount of time. I hate with those big guys where they're like, we have this much time.
And you're like, all right, I'll do that.

Speaker 1 Everybody else is like, let's just go until we're kind of done. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was David. Like, we're going to need him to wrap up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, fine. But, like, I'm not feeling like.
There was some guy in the back, some lady.

Speaker 1 I should have just been like, wave it off, but I didn't. Should have been like, I don't work for, you don't work for me.
I don't work for you. We got to keep him here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wish he'd have got, dude, I had a dream last night, actually, that I interviewed Tim Walls, actually.

Speaker 1 He's the loser guy. He was the guy that said, yeah, he was on the losing team.
And he was.

Speaker 1 Would you interview him about it? Would you talk to him in your dream? I can't remember, but he was so cool in the interview. And I was like, dude, no, people don't know if you're so cool or not.

Speaker 1 We have to come, let's talk. People, you know, but I think.

Speaker 1 I bet they're all kind of cool. I bet they're like, hey, you know what I want to do? I want to take power.
I'm like, ooh, I like that. And then when they do it, I was like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think a lot of them just probably either want or they want.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. It's so hard to know what they're really like as opposed to what you see.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Until I think you get some sort of like avert, like

Speaker 1 something of them that seems like somewhat relatable to you. Yeah, and then they're all a product, too.
I saw somebody talk about George Bush Jr. How you say nuclear.
You know, you always say nuclear.

Speaker 1 And somebody's like, wait, how would he say it? Nuclear? Nuclear. That's how he would say it? No, he said nuclear.
Nuclear. Oh, nuclear's wrong.
Sorry, buddy. Which one's wrong? Nuclear.

Speaker 1 Nuclear's wrong. Yeah.
Nuclear. But nuclear power.
You don't think he knew? No, it's nuclear power. Nuclear power.
No matter what you put on it, it's always going to be nuclear. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've heard it both ways. I think I'm not, I didn't really know which one was correct, but yeah, nuclear.
But they were like, you don't think he knew how to pronounce that?

Speaker 1 His father was the president. You don't think he knew, and he heard nuclear around the house? They told him to mispronounce that so he could be relatable.
Wow, you think? Yeah,

Speaker 1 damn. He went to like an Ivy League school.
That's true, huh? He would have been shaken to that. Yeah, we, I think, that's that.
I think people are starting to get hip to like how much of it is

Speaker 1 Game of Thrones, like image shit. Yeah.
Yeah. How much of it is like this person is doing this or they're being told this or this is the plan? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kamala did not have a good strategist, whoever her business, her planner was or whatever. Who was that? Who was their

Speaker 1 that's one thing I bet? I bet it wasn't the swami. Campaign advisor.
Yeah, I bet it wasn't that bald guy. What's his name? He's like the main one.
Carville, James Carville. Oh, yeah.
He's cool.

Speaker 1 Not him. He would have, he would have.
He would have done something better. He would have done something cool.
He's out of Louisiana. Yeah, that's right.
I went up to him once.

Speaker 1 I was like, how do you talk to a celebrity? There's no way. I don't know how to do it.
They know I'm talking to them because they're them. Not just like, oh, hey, cool shirt.

Speaker 1 And didn't know who it was, you know? So I saw him at a commercial shoot once. I was like, what do I say? I'm like, I know.
He used to call into sports radio in D.C.

Speaker 1 And he had a great thing, like always been on the home underdog if there are more than seven points. And I was like, that's what I'll say.

Speaker 1 I was like, hey, I used to listen to you on WTEM with Kornheiser way back. And he goes, oh, cool.

Speaker 1 Fuck, fuck.

Speaker 1 Even that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's nothing worse when, because if your planned line doesn't go good for a celebrity, you have nothing that's it. You stand there like an asshole like

Speaker 1 I've done that

Speaker 1 It feels so shitty and then it's so obvious what you were trying to do. I know

Speaker 1 That's like

Speaker 1 there was a night where Johnny Depp was at the comedy store. Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
And everybody like you

Speaker 1 star. Oh, he was there was nobody like him.
You know, he was

Speaker 1 everybody, dude. He was in that movie, Peter Payne.
He was in that Peter Payne movie.

Speaker 1 Was he? Yeah, what was it called?

Speaker 1 Finding Neverland? Finding Neverland. Oh, God.
That's a good movie. But anyway, every, so then, like, suddenly, I'd never even really been backstage at the main room.

Speaker 1 I, in the main room, I wasn't getting on stage there much of the time. And I'm like, oh, I got to go back.
I got to go back.

Speaker 1 So you walk in,

Speaker 1 the back room back there was.

Speaker 1 packed like you could barely even move everybody's having like these fake conversations and kind of has their body lightly turned towards johnny depp they all try to laugh louder so like maybe he'll join in with our joviality.

Speaker 1 I see it with Rogan sometimes. I bet you get it too.
You're sitting there, like, oh, cool, nobody's in this bar. I was like, how did it just fill up? Yeah.
It's like, word got out.

Speaker 1 Theo Vaughn's there. Oh, Rogan, I could imagine, dude.
I feel like you never see, I feel like a lot of people, you never see him. He doesn't do a lot of.

Speaker 1 We get like 20 minutes normal and then it's over. Yeah.
And I'm like, eh, I was sitting there. All right.
Fucking take it. Yeah.
They're like, let me tell you about science. You know,

Speaker 1 I'll tell you where the AIDS is.

Speaker 1 You know, you're like, what's this guy and it's just a gay guy that is flirting or whatever but um dude it was like that at the uh report that was it and he was in the back and then coming out i think i oh that's edgar that's right yeah he was with edgar and who brought him the guy um doug standwell doug stanle brought him from arizona and everybody was just like Trying to be in his presence.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Aura.
You could soak it in. You could.
You could just see him. And I can't even remember if I got to meet him or not.

Speaker 1 But if I did, I think it was one of those things like, oh, see, things are going good or something like that. Just like, like we were from high school together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like you want this con, it's never going to be that. It's never going to be like, shit, the best was Dice one time met some guy and he goes, oh, we should, we should hang out.
So some fan.

Speaker 1 And Dice's like,

Speaker 1 you know who he is. And he's like, sure, give me a number.
And Dice.

Speaker 1 called him and texted him 35 times a day, bothered him at work to the point where the guy's like, hey, Andrew, I'm working right now. I goes, oh, yeah, work's tough.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, I remember a couple of jobs I had when I was younger. I was like, Andrew, I got got to go back to work.
Like, I just regretted trying to be friends with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that, oh, that's all I do. It does suck.
I heard Brody Stevens went back there and like either didn't know, or now that I realize, probably somebody told him.

Speaker 1 And he went back and was like, oh, like, you're not expecting to see anybody, let alone Johnny fucking Depp. Yeah.
And he goes, oh, and then I heard Depp had this way to offset.

Speaker 1 He goes, hi, I'm Johnny. How you doing? Or I'm John.
Yeah. And then Brody's like, Johnny Depp? Yes, heard of it.

Speaker 1 He must have been like, this guy's been weird from front of me. Like, no, no, no, no, that's just who he is.
He's going to hang himself soon. Don't worry about that.

Speaker 1 God, yeah. That's, yeah, there's nothing scarier than if you have a line for something and say this because your brain doesn't think, it's just like, oh, everything will go good.

Speaker 1 It's not like, well, if that doesn't get adhered to, then what are you going to do after that? Yeah. You plan ahead.
Like, once that goes great, then what do I do from there? I'll talk. I'll listen.

Speaker 1 I'll say, hey, I will, then I'll ask, yeah, maybe we can get a photo or something. Yeah.
But God, it's so scary when that first line doesn't go good because then you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's so embarrassing. It is harrowing, kind of.
And that was at a time when celebs, there was like a real hierarchy to celebrity. Then I feel like celebrities gotten very

Speaker 1 like anybody. Like it's everybody has like

Speaker 1 social media, you know, everybody has a website. Everybody could be a star, you know.
You also see the real them now, the real, real celebrities. Yeah.
So you're like, oh, you're just a guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You do the same. You're like, oh, I see you with your dog.
You're fine. You're normal.
yeah things have gotten yeah

Speaker 1 celebrities used to be kept more in this kind of hidden realm kind of yeah i met rob lowe who's one of those bigger did my travel podcast yeah and he was like can i change and the other room was like yeah sure it's i mean it's filthy i had someone sleeping in there yesterday so like but look yeah whatever and they're just like yeah i don't have to like cater to him you're a guy fucking go in there and change i don't know right yeah and that's how they all are it's just it's it's weird realizing as you grow up they're not different yeah do you think that's growing up or do do you think that it's changed?

Speaker 1 That the value, like, maybe it's changed. Maybe, but, I mean, I always take out the fact that I'm getting, that I'm getting older and growing up, that that could be part of the realization of things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, somebody said, like, whenever you have a big movie now, they're like, oh, let's get like Matt Damon or, you know, it's Brad Pitt. That'll be a big, big star.

Speaker 1 But then it's like, no one under 28 worships that guy. Yeah.
So like, it's a 50-year-old studio exec saying, that'll be a hell. I was like, no, no, get Timothy Chalamet.
Yeah. Get somebody younger.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get Timothy Chalamet or get a lesbian who's a Timothy Chalamet impersonator. Yeah, without even trying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But even that would go further with a young generation.
Sure would. They'd be like,

Speaker 1 they'd be like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Ari Shafir, man, good to see you, bro. Me too, buddy.
Yeah, are you living? Are you living in Austin now? No, New York. Are you still living in New York? Just publicly.

Speaker 1 Every time I'm there, I had so many fucking pictures. So it was like, I guess you must be there.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can't do two feet without somebody posting a picture.

Speaker 1 And they're pretty immediate over there, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 like the second you're there you show up on social media yeah you're like it's almost like hey how's how's the crowd i'm about to go on i noticed you didn't post you there like oh all right they're pretty good do you are you amazed at the success of austin or with the comedy scene in austin what do you think about it do you it's exciting for sure it's exciting they got some shit to overcome if they want to be the real scene yeah yeah the

Speaker 1 they they need to know where they're weak they don't

Speaker 1 oh where they're weak the comedians you mean yeah they there are a lot of like ass kiss in there it's like we're great we're great and you really got to focus on why we're terrible self-hating was always driving you better than celebration oh you know what that's a good i don't know if there's as much self-hatred there yeah the store especially when you started going there like right after me it was it was like nobody was there like we suck we fucking suck it's obvious no one's here to see us so let's try to be better Yeah, they've kind of started out like doing well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Kind of like the Jean-Bonet

Speaker 1 of comedy. Yeah, four-year comics with like the serious road draws.
You're like, oh, you need that fucking struggle time. You started with a spotter.
That's not the best way to work out.

Speaker 1 I didn't even really think about that. Yeah, but it's still exciting.
It's a new burgeoning scene, and that's pretty exciting.

Speaker 1 You know, there's no Hollywood there to fuck it up, to ship people away from what they're doing. So they're really just concentrating on jokes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've known, like, at first, I was like, what's this going to be like? You know, it seemed like a lot of like,

Speaker 1 you know, when Joe went, but then also Tom Segura went, which is huge and a lot of comedians went like i think the bigger thing is those five six-year comics that are going and in 10 years it's going to long it's a long game to make that scene something and in 10 years they're going to be the biggest the best comics and they're going to be austin comics yeah

Speaker 1 you know yeah that's kind of the last time i was there i was like

Speaker 1 you could go up and down that street and do kind of five sets in a night if you wanted And I was like, well, that's. That looks nice.
Yeah. But do you ever, I mean, I don't know how you are normally.

Speaker 1 You're so fucking big now. It's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 But like, I talked with Shane, too i'm like can you go up and like get an honest rep anymore oh that's a good question especially shane i feel like is the biggest guy in the world right now yeah i feel like he's like

Speaker 1 i don't even know who i would compare him to damn he's like the big he's like dane cook yeah at the time when dane was dane shane and dane shane and dane buddy cops where they don't do anything they just get drunk instead and dane just goes come on don't drink don't drink don't drink and shane just keeps drinking and then they never solve a crime.

Speaker 1 Dane has a big idea and then Shane just

Speaker 1 seems gay. Raises his eyebrow out.
He's like, or I won't. Seems gay.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. That'd be the best.
That'd be the best.

Speaker 1 Nothing happens every single episode.

Speaker 1 Just sit there, kind of half argue.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you need an honest rep. There's times where I go up in New York and it's a big applause.
And sometimes I go up and it's like, one guy's like that. And I'm like, oh, nice.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is going to be a real. I'll really tell if my jokes are good this time.
This is going to be fair. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I think a lot of the people from the podcast are that, you know, that realm or whatever, people that podcast, it's like a lot of the audiences know us. Yeah.
They just see us so much, you know?

Speaker 1 Going ahead of time. They already know your backstory.
Yeah. They saw so many, I mean, they've seen so many clips or for you or things that are out there, you know?

Speaker 1 And a lot of it's stuff that we didn't even make. It's like other channels making shit.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, like, I know there's like Legion of Skanks has like extra channels that are always just making their shit and putting it out. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's, it's great stuff, but it's like, so then that just gets so much of it out there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember doing one time I was doing, when I was doing that Jew special, I would do Q ⁇ As to like, what do you want to know about Jews? And sometimes they'd be like, what's the Yuvan like?

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, just Jew questions. And then one time in Houston, I was like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to do this.
They said something about Bird.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was like, all right, Bert did that, whatever. And then Tom, and I was doing that.
And then this black couple, this guy, so just raising your hand. He raises his hand.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, question. He goes, who are all those people?

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, right. Yeah.
You don't know the backstory. I can't do shit like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, black people started podcasting a lot more last year. Yeah, they just figured out how to get online.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they couldn't figure out the password. They keep changing their phone numbers too much.
It's linked to an old phone number. That could be true.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like, oh, this is my aunt's email account. Is this your address? Who's asking? But who's asking?

Speaker 1 Some guy putting his home address or his email address on disguises to enter into a password. Like, I don't know how it works.

Speaker 1 Anyway, they finally hired some white Jew out of college to run it for them. Yeah.
Now it's all running great.

Speaker 1 I am curious about Austin. I'm curious because last time I was there, just this energy, there is a lot of excitement.
The club will be sold out. I mean, Joe's club will be sold out forever.

Speaker 1 So you sell out in seconds. Yeah.
But even you go to some of those other rooms. You go to Red Band's room next door.
You go to,

Speaker 1 there's the Black Cat or something. Uh-huh, Black Rabbit.
Yeah, Black Rabbit. My problem is also, I can't get any on it.
I'm a star there. Yeah.
So that's not, it's fun.

Speaker 1 It was like, do you remember the Laugh Actually Open mic?

Speaker 1 Yes. So Laugh Actually Open Microsoft signing up for it and sitting outside.
You can only do once a month. And that's what kept you in comedy because you're like, I will kill.

Speaker 1 And the store open mic was like, made you think about quitting. Yeah.
But like, it was so good. You need that once in a while.
It's just a victory lap. That's how Austin is for me.

Speaker 1 No matter where I go, I'm just like, yes. And I'm like, all right, I can't work on anything here.
It's probably because you and Rogan have been friends for so long.

Speaker 1 You've just been, you know, so intertwined with a lot of those guys. And because you've done so much work yourself.
But for new comics, comics, you can get that honest rep there.

Speaker 1 And that's what's exciting to me. Yeah.
And I think the Joe also, he's trying to build a scene, not just a club. Yeah, I think he's doing it.
I mean, he pushes.

Speaker 1 At the end of every episode, he asks everybody. He's like, so you move in Austin? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He tries so hard.

Speaker 1 He tries so hard. I try to tell him the reasons why they don't make sense to him.
I'm like, it's like an influencer town.

Speaker 1 And he's like, no, you just get a place 45 minutes away with armed guards every mile.

Speaker 1 And it's like, okay, that's not going to be my reality, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's people just shooting on it tablets. No, it's close.
They just get airlifted into the club and get airlifted back. It's easy, man.

Speaker 1 But it's such a fun time. It is fun.
Oh my God. It's a vacation.
Every time you go there, you treat it right. You fill up your own drinks.
That's how every club should be. I'm an adult.

Speaker 1 I get free drinks. Why don't I got to borrow this bartender? Let me just make my drinks.
And people are like, doesn't he lose a lot of money? They're like, a bottle of, it costs $60. Right.
No.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah,

Speaker 1 if that's that much of the stress, then it's, you guys are having a tough time anyway. Yeah.
um, yeah, you make a lot of money, you see your friends with nothing to do when you're there.

Speaker 1 Getting to be in there, um,

Speaker 1 you also, you people don't realize you get to meet whoever Joe had on his show that day

Speaker 1 is going to be at the club that night. Some congressperson's there.
You're like, hello. Anyway,

Speaker 1 we're about to make some Holocaust jokes. Do you want to stay in for this? Or

Speaker 1 it's on you. He's like, I wrote a couple myself.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're like, I think I can fuck AIDS out of a chick. You're like, oh, I'm sorry, Your Honor.

Speaker 1 Maybe

Speaker 1 we'll leave.

Speaker 1 But it does feel energetic there.

Speaker 1 I'm seriously considering

Speaker 1 trying to get a little house there or someplace where I can be there more often because I want to be able to work on comedy more. I do feel like I get a real rep for comedy when I'm here, actually.

Speaker 1 Interesting. If it's not a show that I put on.
Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Then you get up because I don't feel, I feel like LA, like.
At least some rep.

Speaker 1 Some like that, I might know you, but I'm not, maybe I'm not a ticket buyer for Theo Vaughn. Right.
So you got to win me over a little bit. Yeah, or maybe I'm not a fan at all.
Right.

Speaker 1 Maybe I don't like you. Yeah.
So win me over. The best was one time when Louie came back, we saw security footage camera.
Some chick was there in the side, so we could see her fully behind Louis.

Speaker 1 And she was like, just like mad. And then four minutes in, it's Louisique, right? So he's, the talent there is, is undeniable.
So she's mad. After about four minutes, she goes,

Speaker 1 And then five minutes later, she's like,

Speaker 1 and then by the end, she's just dying laughing. She's like, yeah, maybe this guy's all right.
Yeah. At the end, she's like, jerk off in front of me.

Speaker 1 You can do it. Don't ask.

Speaker 1 I'm not into that.

Speaker 1 She's changing her whole MO.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dude, I really think,

Speaker 1 yeah, who, I think Louie,

Speaker 1 Bill Burr are probably the funny. They might be.
Louis's the funniest guy I've ever seen. The funniest person I've ever spoken to.
He's the most creative, I think.

Speaker 1 And he's always just making jokes, and you put him on a pedestal sometimes, but now he's just a schmuck. He's just a schmendrick, a fat blob.

Speaker 1 And like, whatever we put on, that's us putting ourselves on. He's just a dude.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 You have a new, you have a, I want to make sure we bring up, you have a new comedy special coming out. Yeah, it's out.
It's out now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just come out. America's Sweetheart.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Oh, and that's you? It's me. Wow.

Speaker 1 So things have changed. That's right.
In America, for sure. I'm the nice guy.
Hey, we'll take what we can get, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, is nobody nicer? Like, nah.

Speaker 1 Do you find as you, as you've been, because you've been in comedy for how long? 25 years.

Speaker 1 White?

Speaker 1 It's a long fucking time.

Speaker 1 It's more than half.

Speaker 1 I've been more in comedy than not in comedy. I think I just passed that.
Do you, do you feel like in the beginning you were just telling jokes? Like there was a...

Speaker 1 And now that there's any more purpose? I just wonder, like, I try to look at, like, do we evolve as comedians? Because you hear some people say we evolve, right?

Speaker 1 You hear some people say their whole goal, their whole life is just to get up the punchline. Some people want to start being philosophical, right?

Speaker 1 Do you feel any difference or notice anything about that for yourself? Yeah, I think it's everybody. It's like, it's not even like you do this thing.

Speaker 1 It might even take off or not take off, but then you're like, well, I'm a different person. Like Sturgil, you know, Sturgil Simpson? So he's singing about.
DMT and mushrooms and stuff.

Speaker 1 And then the later albums, like, it's about his kids and stuff. And they're like, what about the drugs? And he's like, I mean, I covered it.
I'm in my 40s now.

Speaker 1 I don't, it's kind of gross to be talking about, like, can you believe I got so whacked out? It's like, it's kind of lame at some point. So, you have to like shift.

Speaker 1 And the better you get, dude, you talk to Attel, who

Speaker 1 I think definitely could be the best. That's a good point.
And you see him, dude, that joke was so funny. He goes, It was a simple switch.

Speaker 1 And like, he's on such a higher level that the stuff I'm been around for a while that I'm like, wow, he's like, that was a nothing thing. That was an easy trick I just did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's so far above me, I can't see it.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, everybody evolves a bit. I've started using my English degree more.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Doing pretty much my last two specials is like a... Like Othello or something? No, like the five-paragraph essay.
Oh. Like having a rules play into it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like, here's my thesis. Here's my proofs.
Now here's a here's a wrap-up

Speaker 1 instead of just a collection of bits.

Speaker 1 But, you know, once you get like pretty good at joke telling, then it's like, what do I want to do on top of that? Right. So that's what I'm doing with this.
I'm trying to get people off the news.

Speaker 1 Yeah, is that what it's about more? Yeah, I'm sort of like, just get things are pretty good.

Speaker 1 If you're on there too much, they're going to think it's bad, but it's actually pretty fucking good. Yeah, I saw a clip where you were with Harry Mandel.

Speaker 1 He was talking about anti-I don't know if you guys were talking about anti-Semitism. Somebody was.
Yeah. And then.
How come you can pronounce that well and not nuclear? That's a good question. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Programming. Yeah, you've come in contact with one more than another.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he

Speaker 1 was so sure that's a horrible time for Jews. Yeah.
And I'm so positive it's not. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I remember he, there was one time he was, oh, I think it was when Trump was running for office.
And nobody can understand how I like,

Speaker 1 I was excited that Trump was running because he was a, I was like, if that fucking dude can win, then anybody could win. Yeah, the way Obama gave black people hope.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He gives Trump gives regular people hope. Oh, dude, the first time that he won, I remember driving down the street.
And I've never even been a big Trump bro. I've never endorsed Trump.

Speaker 1 I don't even think I voted for him the first time. I don't remember if I voted for him the first time.
but

Speaker 1 I was like, fucking anybody can win. And like, if you're born with a billion dollars, like, yeah, but you also say stupid, and I'm stupid.
Yeah. So that's the part I'll relate to.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're like, anybody could win. That's the part that was fascinating about it.
But I remember how I was scared.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, oh, no, when they had that Richmond neo-Nazi, that Nazi thing in Richmond, remember years ago? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What was that? It was like those guys that bought those cheeky torches or whatever? Yeah, no, it wasn't Richmond. Charlottesville? Charlottesville.
Charlottesville.

Speaker 1 charlottesville yeah it was a statue you know the statue was there

Speaker 1 no one does

Speaker 1 nobody knows who the statue was and it was a flashpoint of everything was it stephen douglas

Speaker 1 were the city symbols of the city's confederate past they don't even they don't even know who it is they're all protesting they don't even know the fucking statue is totally normal oh it's robert ee and stonewall jackson Two of them.

Speaker 1 Now that's New Orleans, isn't it? That's Charlottesville? Yeah, that's Charlottesville. Oh, yeah.
They had a school nearby me called Robert E.

Speaker 1 Junior High School. I wonder if it's still called that.
Probably changed it. Probably changed it.
Erasing history. To Bobby Lee's.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby Lee College of Dropouts.

Speaker 1 Dude, how does Bobby Lee not have an elementary school name after you? You gotta. You still look kind of like you're in one.
You could go undercover, Bob. Shave that stupid stash.

Speaker 1 You could go undercover. You look young.
Oh, yeah, with just insane teriyaki lunches every day. Yeah.
Just these giant meals. You go to eat with Bobby.
He just like fills up the table.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, is this this for us? He goes, oh, no, you can order two.

Speaker 1 Bobby eats like Ralphie May. He's a principal.
He shows up once a year over Zoom.

Speaker 1 You know what I saw the other day? Oh, I was talking to my,

Speaker 1 I was talking to this kid and he didn't know what AIDS was, dude. What? Yeah.
He doesn't know what AIDS is. I was like, kid, I was like.

Speaker 1 You trying to educate him on it?

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't think I'm allowed to tell you, but. I was like, dude, what about AIDS? And he's like, AIDS? And I was like, AIDS, you know, the one of the top three things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, dude, it's like, but what is it? Like, if kids don't even know about AIDS, man, it's wrong.

Speaker 1 But that's crazy. You got to talk to gays, bro.
But I talked to Mateo. He goes, you can't get it.
We got a force field now. Oh, they do? Prep.

Speaker 1 Oh, prep drugs. Yeah, prep.
So it's like, it's like, they just can't get it.

Speaker 1 So it's back to 80s. Let's fuck.
Let's be gay the way gay was meant to be. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's fuck in the back of the church. Let's fuck

Speaker 1 anywhere. Gays are.

Speaker 1 They'll fuck anywhere, huh? They just go for it. That's crazy, isn't it? Imagine just a guy trying to jerk me off in the back of a bus in Vietnam.
You did? Yeah. And the guy was gay?

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know what their I don't know some of what their culture is.

Speaker 1 That's a big sign, usually. Oh, dude, they're starving over there.
That guy could have been ordering soup.

Speaker 1 Dude, any joke that ends in soup, Jewish people love it for someone. Oh, I'm listening.
It's a little cold. I'll eat half and send it back, but I like that joke.

Speaker 1 I'll eat half that joke and send it back.

Speaker 1 Hold on, almost done.

Speaker 1 There's a hair in there.

Speaker 1 It's the biggest problem when Jews going bald. They can't send soup back.

Speaker 1 sorry howie you're right that's hilarious dude

Speaker 1 that's fucking hilarious um

Speaker 1 what are we talking about Jesus Christ this is what the president said oh the aids

Speaker 1 yeah I miss it

Speaker 1 it was like a real thing united people

Speaker 1 United Nation AIDS. Well, I remember, yeah, they were like at a school or whatever, they made us do like a round of applause for HIV or whatever it was.
It was like something, like some

Speaker 1 thing they had at our school. It was like clap for AIDS or whatever.
I was like,

Speaker 1 clap for it. People, you would clap.
It was like somebody would clap as long as they could to raise money for AIDS, like one of those things, like do it as long as you can, like an

Speaker 1 AIDS-a-thon or whatever.

Speaker 1 And it was like, I just remember being in this gym and people just, it was like somebody had to keep clapping. So you had to tag in somebody else to clap.

Speaker 1 And then if you got to a certain number of hours, then you raise a certain amount of money. Wow.
It turns out they never got the cure. They just got a pretty much a vaccine.

Speaker 1 You did it. AIDS.
AIDS.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's not funny.

Speaker 1 But when you're here, everything's funny, dude. Oh, what is this right there? Oh, an unfortunate product name, A-Y-D-S.
AIDS. I was overweight.
Looked at it.

Speaker 2 Helped me lose 46 pounds.

Speaker 2 The AIDS diet plan helped me lose 28 pounds.

Speaker 3 AIDS helps control your appetite, so you lose weight. Yet AIDS lets you taste, chew, and enjoy.
And the appetite suppressant in AIDS is not a stimulant.

Speaker 2 AIDS helped me to lose 18 pounds, and it doesn't contain anything to make me nervous.

Speaker 3 Question: Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AIDS?

Speaker 1 AIDS helps you lose weight without making nervous.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's crazy. The term enjoy AIDS.
And people are like, Where did AIDS start? Fucking from that. From

Speaker 1 that form. That's wild.
I mean, what's that new drug that makes you lose weight? Oh, Zempic. Oh, Zempic.
That's that. They just rebranded.
AIDS.

Speaker 1 Zima did it. They went to Trulia and Whiteclaw.
They were smart.

Speaker 1 I forgot zima was just an early white claw zima gives me what happened there gives me hope for society because

Speaker 1 you're within a 10 15 year age of me you remember zima oh yeah and it was like it's like there's a cooler stuff and you reach for zima people like you sure you want to do that in front of people yeah gonna be called gay for a long time and you're like okay i won't

Speaker 1 went away and then truly or white claw whichever the force one came back and you know we all kind of made a deal like let's not call each other gay let's just drink this yeah and we all were cool about it and just yeah

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If nobody calls the other person gay, we can enjoy this. Do this.
Don't be the first one to take that shot at the revolution.

Speaker 1 Dude, Zima was kind of Zima was one of a kind. Because it had the bottles and it kind of was a malt liquor.

Speaker 1 You kind of had a malt liquor idea to it, but it was, was it lemon-flavored?

Speaker 1 Citrus, yep. Oh, wow.
Yeah, a touch of citrus. Look at the jolly ranchers nearby it.
Yeah, put a jolly rancher. Is it out? Can you still buy Zimas?

Speaker 1 Is the IP still available? You can't find Zima anywhere else, though it is sold in Japan. I'm going to Japan.
Are you? I mean, now.

Speaker 1 It's a weird reason to go. They got a lot of unique stuff over there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, what I see the other day in China, there was a... Did you see this Jackson Hole, the city in China that they built? Jackson Hole.

Speaker 1 When I was there, they just built a city. Really? Suzhou wanted a business district, so they're just like, do it.

Speaker 1 No bureaucracy. Make it happen.
Just build it. It was up in six months 20 skyscrapers

Speaker 1 no waiting no codes

Speaker 1 look at this place this guy built

Speaker 1 i visited china's 170 million dollar little america replica town it's a town of jackson hole

Speaker 1 wow that's just that's suburbs yeah so it made of jacks it just looks like america this guy went to visit it

Speaker 1 That's George from the sleeping. And everything in it is

Speaker 1 Wyoming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What? Who does this? How can you do this?

Speaker 1 That's wild. They built a few of these.
How big is that? Who's building it? China. Who's what do you just to bring new people in? Old churches?

Speaker 1 I think rich people, it looks like. Yeah, what is it? Can you give me some information on it? So you can live in China but be in America? Yeah, see in America.

Speaker 1 Property taxes.

Speaker 1 Jackson Old China is a resort town on the border between Hualai, County, Zhangyaokao, wedged between Taihong and Yan mountain ranges. In architecture is designed by

Speaker 1 Jackson, Wyoming.

Speaker 1 Is it ski in there?

Speaker 1 Damn. I don't know.
Let us see some of that information. Cowboy Bar.
The thousand single home development used stock western home plans from an architect in Oregon.

Speaker 1 Adding designs reminiscent of Billy the Kid, Geronimo, Stagecoast Station, Big Bear, etc.

Speaker 1 Cow hide, antler chandeliers, saddle blankets, all this stuff. Wagon wheels, Navajo rugs, iron light fixtures, wildlife scene, fireplace screens.
This is a whole place that's there.

Speaker 1 The project was completed in 2009. Liu Yang Yang, the developer Yang of the community said his selling point was more than architecture.

Speaker 1 His buyers wanted freedom and spirituality, so he built a Christian church in the center of the community for residents.

Speaker 1 According to Smith, the properties have sold out and nearly tripled in value since being built as the first model was put up in Beijing Park for display.

Speaker 1 People apparently went nuts for it. Damn, I should have invested in

Speaker 1 Chinese real estate. I know.
Damn, I invested in Palisades.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's pretty cool.
Yeah. Replica town.
That's like Saudi shit. Just interesting.
And they have a few of them. I think there's

Speaker 1 China's town. Made to be like Venice.
The canals? Yep. Replicas of Paris, London, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Just interesting.

Speaker 1 What? Wait, wait, wait, right there. Hold on.
That's in China? They have an Eiffel Tower in China? Oh, yeah, they do it all. Because they're like, we have so much land.

Speaker 1 We have so many expendable souls that we can use to do construction.

Speaker 1 Why not just build it here? That we don't have to go somewhere. Dude, I have a map in my studio for my travel podcast and it's in China.
You see all the cities on the right side of it.

Speaker 1 And then as it goes left, there's just nothing. There's an occasional dot of a city.
And I'm like, what's all this? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think I should have looked it up by now, but what's out there? Yeah, like what's going on? Yeah, I think they're just... What's in central China? That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Is there no reports from there? Is that where they're keeping all the people who talk back? What's in central China? I saw some Korean people yesterday.

Speaker 1 Is that how they teach people to butt on the subway before you get a chance to get off? Is that what they do? Yeah, they do. They don't understand, though.
Like, we get off first, then you get on.

Speaker 1 Oh, they get off first. They just get on.
They just push on. Elevators, too.
Like, let me get out first. Oh, they say it's up to you.
Yeah, it's like you didn't go for it.

Speaker 1 What else is cracking, man? What's cracking in the world? Yeah, what do you think of everything? What makes you hopeful?

Speaker 1 Well, I guess. It's a time of negativity.
What makes you hopeful? Do you think things are feeling negative right now?

Speaker 1 It seems like they're pushing you to be negative, but I don't think you have to be. Yeah.
So if you center on something, it's like, well, I like this. New Austin scene's pretty cool.
We never had a...

Speaker 1 a third real scene. That's a good point.
Yeah, that's nice. And at first, I didn't think I was like, oh, we'll never really be able to compete.
But as I've gone back, I feel like, man, it is.

Speaker 1 I don't think it has to compete. That's the problem, too.
You get into that where it's like, I come to LA. I spent a little time hating it the way I hated religion for a while when I left it.

Speaker 1 Now I'm like in school. Now I get back to L.A.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to get some burritos. I'm going to see some friends.
It's great. Yeah.
Yeah. It's just a great new extra thing.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah. It's like, it's not like, which one's better? It's like, well, we don't have to live there.
Yeah. He's always like, you got to move here.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chilling. But it is cool, though.
The bars are cool. The honky dogs away from where he built that club is still cool.
Yeah, Sixth Street is a violent atmosphere of people vomiting on one another.

Speaker 1 It always was. And then they put horses.

Speaker 1 There's a horse that comes by every 40 minutes and just shits at the moment. Just shit.
It's like, let's add this to the mix. Let's add it.
Let's up it now.

Speaker 1 You know, all this violence and like people are ready to go and barf and puke and like

Speaker 1 drunkenness. Let's add a horse shit and then sit back and watch from a safe distance atop a stallion.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's just occasionally people. There's just horses shitting out there.
And one of the horses they said was an undercover cop. I'm like, who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 I'm like, who's going to let a horse bust them? Who goes up to a horse like, you want to smoke with me?

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. He's like, you're under arrest.

Speaker 1 Look at this chick.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you wearing, lady? God.

Speaker 1 Have some class. When the skirt's so short, I can smell your thoughts, you know? I remember going there before.
It got like kind of methyl.

Speaker 1 And I saw some UT guys walking along, just, you know, it's like who we used to hang with tangentially. Just like tough frat guys.

Speaker 1 And they pass some chick, overweight chick, and she goes, they're drunk. And she goes, you're fat.
And I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 1 That's how it always was. That's 6th Street.
No one in Austin goes to 6th Street. Yeah.
Once a year for a lark. Nobody real goes there.
Nobody who wants to go do something fun.

Speaker 1 At At least Broadway in Nashville is based on something. It's based on the old honky-tonk area.
There's only one or two left, but it's based on something.

Speaker 1 So it comes from a place, 6th Street in Austin. It's just based on nothing.
It's got a darkness to it. Yeah, it definitely seems, it seems kind of spooky about there.

Speaker 1 It seems like people that are just there to get drunk, it kind of has more of a Bourbon Street kind of vibe to me. Ooh, yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, you're in this like beautiful place at Rogan's Club and you're like, ah, it's like a casino, no lights, no anything.
So you're like,

Speaker 1 I'll see you guys later.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What?

Speaker 1 And then a Rick Shaw comes by. Yeah.
Guys, like, you guys want to get in? It's only $50 for some AIDS. And you're like, whoa, whoa,

Speaker 1 we just want to go two blocks. He'll be like, I'll get you AIDS by then.
Okay, for sure. We can find some AIDS for you out here.
What's this from?

Speaker 4 That's an Aztec death whistle. The coroner we had on Toby gave it to us.

Speaker 4 If you blow it full, it sounds like a woman screaming for death. That's it.

Speaker 1 It's just a warning.

Speaker 1 Wow. It sure does.
I've heard a few of those in real life.

Speaker 1 Keep screaming. No one's here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was with Gabby Petito and Brian Laundry when it happened. Really? I didn't leave any dumb fingerprints like Brian did.
Oh.

Speaker 1 That's how she sounded. Oh, the darkness.
Gabby, rest in peace. The darkness continues.
Do you think there will ever be,

Speaker 1 I believe there will be a time when people will live forever and people will not. And I believe that kids right now, they're 15 and under, they're going to live forever.
Forever.

Speaker 1 Like they'll have a chance to live forever. Ooh, like they might get the drug.
Yeah. But there's going to be this weird thing where there's going to be like,

Speaker 1 hey, can I get it? Like, nah, you're a year too old. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So like, am I just going to age out? Like, yeah, it's been nice knowing y'all. I'll keep in touch with you for a few years, but then you're going to get old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but they're going to be like, oh, you're going to die. But people are going to be like, dude, your dad died.
What a fucking loser. Was he poor? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. You guys must have been so poor.
Your dad died of natural causes. It's so retro.
Oh, God. He was a real.

Speaker 1 Here's my push to your dad.

Speaker 1 Fucking loser. He should have worked harder, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at Timmy's dad.

Speaker 1 But that's what's going to happen. I think there's going to be a cutoff.
And the government will probably say this is the cutoff.

Speaker 1 There will be some bad drugs that will come out of people trying to get the actual drugs. Yeah, some knockoffs.
Or it'll be a chip or something that you get.

Speaker 1 And then slow down all aging in your cellular level. I'm in.
Let's do it. But then there's going to be so many people who are knock, and there's going to be less jobs, probably.

Speaker 1 So it's going to be, it's going to turn very dystopian. Would you take it if they had it right now? It's been tested.
It's safe.

Speaker 1 Here are the options. Take it right now, wait a few years, and decide and see how it shakes out, or not take it.

Speaker 1 So you have to pick, really, like I give you one week to decide. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And or what? Well, this won't be for you as much, but for me, it may be for you too. It's like you can either take this live forever drug or perfectly workable hair transplants.

Speaker 1 Full head of hair, back to Mohawk, back to what everything I always wanted. I might go with a hair.

Speaker 1 So hair now or live forever. Yeah.
Because then I got to live forever

Speaker 1 with that.

Speaker 1 I think bald's cool now, bald or

Speaker 1 I'm in. Spread it.
You've got influence. Spread that.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are being bald and loving it now. Really? There's bald women.
I saw a bunch of bald.

Speaker 1 There's fat people who love it too. Really? Yeah, and we know they're lying to themselves.
Is that a bigger thing, being bald? Yeah, big and beautiful or

Speaker 1 big and bald.

Speaker 1 It's like bald and tall. Is that a shop? Bald and tall?

Speaker 1 Big and tall. Big and tall.
Dude,

Speaker 1 bald and tall? Bro, bald and tall is a crazy look. Do you burn yourself in the sun too much?

Speaker 1 Bald and tall is a crazy look. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kanye's back on Twitter right there. It says, God, Hollywood sucks.
Jada Pinkett Smith. Kanye is the most out-of-control person I know.
What's the point of that post?

Speaker 1 Yeah, why did she start that? Yeah, why are you looking to be in this? Because you're not a center of attention for a second. And then he went right back at her.

Speaker 1 Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. He hit her where it hurt.
Yeah. Damn.
Nice. That's kind of a good word for it.
Yeah, it was all right. But I heard it just enough that it was like something.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a little thing. You got nothing and it deserves something.
Thank you. So there's something.
This is very sweet of you. Little things that keep us alive.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what do you think about Kanye being back on Twitter? Oh, you try to use your song, right, for his, for the intro to your new special. Yeah, I've had this whole big piece about how great he is.

Speaker 1 That's another thing. Focus on the positive.
That's the whole message. It's like, and then like everyone's like, Kanye's crazy.
And I'm like, he rules the music. Yeah.
Just the music.

Speaker 1 What is she writing about? Anything other than music? Right.

Speaker 1 To come at Kanye, it's like, yeah, if you're going, if you're trying to get other stuff out of him he probably shouldn't be your liaison to like

Speaker 1 anything except maybe creativity and music yeah exactly it's like going to broke christ for weight loss tips yeah

Speaker 1 or coming to comedians for political ideas oh yeah that's another one i heard santos said this about the fires what they're not firemen what the they're just They're just like at a bar talking.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. If you go to Kanye for anything other than music, you're nuts.
Because he's not just okay at the music part. He's great at it.

Speaker 1 so i tried to get one of his songs black skinhead for my uh for my credits i was going up to it the whole tour because i was talking about kanye a lot

Speaker 1 and uh christine okerson big j's chick was like hey i know he's like popping off like whatever have you heard black skinhead and i was like no and i was like i was like oh my god his antisensis has got me into this song and i played it the whole fucking tour and i was like let me try to get this for the credits And I wrote them.

Speaker 1 I was like, listen, I can't afford it, right? So I'm like, hey, I'm appealing to them creatively.

Speaker 1 And I was like, hey, I have this whole big piece of how Kanye's really great and how people have lost focus on what's important. And I want to close with a song with Black Skin.

Speaker 1 It was one of his most killer songs. And I think kind of an underrated song, to be honest.
And they go, I hope you're not referring to him as Kanye. He goes by, yay now.

Speaker 1 And it's like, yeah, fuck. I'm never going to be able to.
His whole staff is crazy, too.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, just the fact that that was their first reply. You're like,

Speaker 1 oh, I got no chance. I have no chance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wonder what his mind is like. I mean, a lot of his.
I thought his mom died. Give him some sympathy.
Yeah. What? His girlfriend is.
His wife is beautiful. Is that a Photoshop? What?

Speaker 1 She wears like a lot of

Speaker 1 skin-tight suits, that lady. Skin-tight, but like, make it a color.
Bianca Censori, I believe is her name. Possibly Italian.
I'm not sure. She's like unveiling herself.
She's a piece of art to him.

Speaker 1 Might be.

Speaker 1 I mean, why wear that heavy a coat if it were that little underneath? I don't know. Wear a sweatshirt and a lighter.
God, I got to get out more. Jugs.

Speaker 1 Jugs.

Speaker 1 Moonshine in that. My God.

Speaker 1 Dude, some babies, like. Oh, my God.
I would slurp if I were her kid. So he just keeps fucking chicks that look like Kim?

Speaker 1 I guess so. It's a good question.
I mean, you got to type. I know guys who only did Asian chicks.
I can't say slurp. That's his wife, isn't it? That was pretty rude.
Is that his wife? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sorry. God.
Try it again, but use a different word other than slurp.

Speaker 1 I would, she's a beautiful lady.

Speaker 1 Obviously, she's into showing her body off, though. She's got some really, like, if I were a baby dude.
She's rude to not show it off. Right.
It's a good point.

Speaker 1 If I were a baby, dude, I would, I would not,

Speaker 1 I would just pretend like it was morning all the time. Just like breakfast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 God, that's got to be fun when you are a baby, huh? God, it really does. Underrated part about being a baby.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you're a baby and you put him down, if you put the baby down between, and there's a breastfeeding baby between that chick and like, I don't even know who, Karen Freehand, who do you think that chick is, that baby's going to go right for that fucking chick?

Speaker 1 Big fucking lot of food. Oh, yeah.
It makes sense. Did you?

Speaker 1 You think you'll have any children, Ri? What do you think? No, I had a vasectomy. You did? Yeah.
No way. Yeah, I was taking chances.
You were? Too many chances.

Speaker 1 So you were actually trying to have a child? No,

Speaker 1 what? Is that what you say? Oh, sorry, what are you saying then? No, I was just pulling out late. Oh, you were? Yeah.
I don't understand how people do that. Like, how do you?

Speaker 1 I know a lot of black guys like to just do

Speaker 1 the nut or whatever. I mean, the nut is great.
I know why they want it. Yeah.
The nut's great. Yeah, but it's also great outside of it.
It's less great. Is it? What do you mean, is it?

Speaker 1 I've never done it.

Speaker 1 Yes, you have. I've never ejaculated inside of a woman.

Speaker 1 Then you haven't lived. Really? But it's all this is a facade, buddy.
Just get what you need to get. None of this is facade.
We never said we had done it.

Speaker 1 No, but I mean, this, all this is like a fucking, you're just like buying time so you can get a cream pud. This is all just because you've never cream pied.
Really? You got a nut inside, buddy.

Speaker 1 What do you mean you've never done it? What do you mean you've never cream pied inside of a woman? I never have in my life. I swear to God.
You fucked though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 But every time I do, I do the what if she's like, I'm on the pill? Oh, that's, I don't, I don't, I barely know her.

Speaker 1 So I'm not believing that at you. Yeah, yeah.
You know how many chicks I fucked up so they couldn't get pregnant that I later found out got pregnant from somebody? Really?

Speaker 1 And I was like, wait, you said I was blowing loads in you. And they're like, oh, I thought I couldn't.

Speaker 1 Based on what? Oh, you're there. It's like

Speaker 1 one of the ghostbusters that's throwing ectoplasm in there.

Speaker 1 I was a salad for some other guy's steak. Yeah, I've never done that in my life, man.

Speaker 1 Well, let me recommend something to you.

Speaker 1 I'm going to end up being a father. People are always getting, I don't want to be in a lawsuit or something.
Find some old chick. Find some post-menopause subject.

Speaker 1 Get to me more.

Speaker 1 I want to get a regular wife that likes to get it. The last of the Golden Girls died.
It's too late for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Estelle Getty? No.
Maybe. Estelle Getty Museum?

Speaker 1 What was her name? Sure. Who's the last one? Estelle Betty White? Betty White.
Betty White. Stell Getty was so.

Speaker 1 She was old when it started. Right.
She was the looker. Rue McClanahan was the one that everybody, my dad, kind of had hots for.
The youngest of the slutty one. Yeah.
Blanche, Devereaux. God.

Speaker 1 What a great series. Hot take.
Golden Girls is just sex in the city.

Speaker 1 They're both written by gay men about gay culture. And this one they made old women play it.
And the other one they made fucking horse-faced chicks play it.

Speaker 1 Do you think they will cure?

Speaker 1 do you think that being gay will be something that will be eternal or one day that that will be hacked or something? That we can cure it.

Speaker 1 Or that it would be hacked, you know, that they'll be able to hack the genetic.

Speaker 1 If you were a scientist working on the cure for gay and you were like halfway there, you lost a lot of funding recently.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's probably. Yeah, they're probably like, we're not paying.
We don't want it anymore.

Speaker 1 You don't think?

Speaker 1 There's a small segment of the population like, we got to cure this. Everyone else is just like, who cares? Oh, I think most people are like, who cares?

Speaker 1 But I just mean, maybe cure is not the right word, right? Do you think that they would, do you think that they'll ever vaccine? Vaccine, yeah. So you won't ever get it in the first place.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When he's two. Didn't they say vaccines made kids gay? Wasn't that a rumor for a while? I don't know.
We're going to find out soon if Bobby Kennedy gets in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So say no gay kids after a while. Like, I ended vaccines.
Who knows? See all the stuff he says, people are like, that's ridiculous. I'm like, really? I don't even know the words he's using.

Speaker 1 He's smarter than me. I don't know shit.

Speaker 1 I don't even know the earth is round.

Speaker 1 I was just guessing. The latest viral COVID-19 conspiracy theory boosted by QAnon falsely claims vaccines turned children gay or trans.
Wow, I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 And that's a false allegation, like COVID-19.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's

Speaker 1 a lot of kids, I will say, seem very gay, though. Do you notice that? Like, if you talk to like a...
They're post-gender. Is it? Yeah, they don't care.
The dad, the man can wear a dress.

Speaker 1 Like, you cross-dressing, they're like, what? When I grew up, you couldn't wear pink as a a dude. You'd be ostracized.
Now you, like, there's no, there's no gay color. That's we're past that.

Speaker 1 So those kids are past that shit. They're wearing top hats and skirts.
It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we see them as gay, but they're like, oh, dude, we're not even using those terms. Yeah, you're from a different universe.

Speaker 1 That's why you go to Bushwick or something, and you're like, oh, this is the cutting-edge kids.

Speaker 1 There was, I've heard rumors that a lot of Haitians moved over there in there to the parks and stuff and were selling sex and stuff like that. Have you seen any of that over there?

Speaker 1 Hookers Hookers in Bushwick? Yeah, in the parks over there.

Speaker 1 Selling their bodies? Yeah, they were selling sex and oral sex over there.

Speaker 1 I mean, Haitian. That's not who you'd want.

Speaker 1 I mean, who you want is you want, I guess it's the, I don't know what the pace of the rate is. It was just a bunch of dark black, very thin hookers.

Speaker 1 I'll check it out. I haven't heard anything about that.
Yeah, one of my friends was telling me there's a lot of hookering going on over there.

Speaker 1 Haitian hookering. I think they said Haitian.
I would have to ask them. you know what there is though for real for real casual hooking really like chicks who do it like three times a year

Speaker 1 housewives regular chicks who are like for a little extra cash all like what do you mean I mean like oh your friend seems cute and it's like hey my friend's cute she likes you would you be into it for like a couple hundred bucks and you'd be like oh no in New York yeah huh regular chicks just occasionally like yeah I'll fuck for money The guy seems cool.

Speaker 1 They're not going to like on the street taking all callers. Right.
But like occasionally for extra cash instead of driving uber do they tell the husband i don't think so

Speaker 1 possibly i don't know everybody's situation would you is there's a thing where people let the obamas are still together for real it's a great question you think the clintons are no no right so it's a possibility that they're not that there are such things as sham marriages yeah

Speaker 1 i wonder she didn't show up to the carter inaugurate the funeral she didn't show up to the inauguration i could see like hey i never wanted to be in the public eye like this yeah I just wanted a ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just wanted to dunk on these bitches. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 That could be it, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I won. It's a good question.
That whole inauguration thing was just such a game. I had someone.
You went. Yeah.
I had total Game of Thrones energy over there. What did you?

Speaker 1 Because that's not you. Oh, not at all.
You were going there the way I go to Comic-Con. Yeah.
I'll just stare at everybody. That was ridiculous.
I don't know. What's Spider-Man?

Speaker 1 Oh, I was like, I should not be here. You should not be there.
That's how I felt. At least you're not doing the endorsing thing

Speaker 1 that a lot of comics are doing. I thought we were supposed to just make fun of everyone.
Do you feel like it was weird that people were endorsing? Endorsing? Who's endorsing?

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about? You have a literal sports team you root for. You don't endorse Tottenham.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, it was so wild. But all right, he's in power now, so let's see everybody go after him.

Speaker 1 Well, I think a lot of people were.

Speaker 1 Endorsing. Just make fun of all of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It seemed weird. Well, I think the biggest biggest thing that seemed like it's been on the table for me is just the free speech stuff.

Speaker 1 You start to worry about like a lot of these social media companies limiting speech, limiting what's possible. That text me for sure.
Yeah. For sure.
So if somebody's like, hey, I want to do this.

Speaker 1 I'm like, great, I love it. You know, I also loved when Trump gave us all 600 bucks during the pandemic.
It got everybody really partying in New York. Love that.

Speaker 1 Do you worry about, yeah, but... But I'm not going to get involved in getting it there.
But then some of these guys have a lot of influence, to be honest.

Speaker 1 But also, they're like, how can you have this guy on your podcast? I'm like, well, I'll have everybody on. I had Tucker Carlson on my podcast, the travel one.
We just talked about travel.

Speaker 1 People are like, why didn't you call him on his shit? I'm like, was he lying about the UAE? That's all I care about. The travel part.

Speaker 1 I don't want to get involved in this.

Speaker 1 So I get that part of it. Like, somebody seems interesting.
A former president. I'll have him on a podcast.
Oh, in a heartbeat. Yeah.
People gave me grief for going to the

Speaker 1 inauguration. I was like, dude, you don't have to go to the bottom.
But if you got invited to

Speaker 1 the... I don't know, Bush inauguration or the Obama one or the Reagan one, you would have gone? Yeah, I would have gone.
He's like, oh, I'm not political.

Speaker 1 I got invited to the presidential inauguration. When am I not going to go to inauguration? I have no idea.
What if it's not even real and there's video? They're just, it's, it's a moon landing.

Speaker 1 Who knows? You know, so I went and at least saw, like, okay. So, what was that right? What was that right doing? Did it feel like powerful? Did it feel like these guys are deciding fates?

Speaker 1 Or was it just like the Oscars where they're all like glad-handing each other and celebrating success? I guess I didn't get to be there long enough. Was there food? There was at the ball.

Speaker 1 The food was gone. No, it was not good.

Speaker 1 That fucking broke my heart. What do you mean? Tony was there.
He's like, we did it. And I'm like, the food isn't good.

Speaker 1 We didn't. We still have room.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? The food wasn't good. It wasn't that good.
And then only like 30 chairs in this whole ballroom. And there was probably 1,500 people in there.
30 chairs? That's like my house.

Speaker 1 I have four chairs and I have eight people over. And it's like,

Speaker 1 we're sitting on Amazon boxes. So that was the hectic.
That was the most hectic part. But yeah, just to be there, to be in Washington, D.C., to see that happen for sure.
I was like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 I'm going. I would never be weird.
I would never think it was weird if anybody was. Was that you there? No, but pull those people back up.
So this was the part that was fascinating to me. These were,

Speaker 1 this was. These are the guys deciding our fates.
Who's the brown in the middle? This is the oligarchy right here.

Speaker 5 Sunder Pachai from Google.

Speaker 1 He owns Google. So these guys all decide how we think about the world.
These one, two, three.

Speaker 1 One guy, the chick I'm assuming is Clinton. He's just his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 There's Zuckerberg. Yeah.
Zuckerberg's the most evil of all of them. You think? Yeah.
Because I think he was like cigarettes where they didn't know what they were doing.

Speaker 1 And then when they found out, so there's no problem. They're just giving cigarettes.
They didn't know it was causing cancer. Then they found out it caused cancer and they go hide that shit.
Right.

Speaker 1 Zuckerberg at first was like, I don't know. I just, I'm too autistic to have interaction.
So I want to see a world where we don't have to meet eye to eye. And now he goes,

Speaker 1 yeah, he made us live like autistic people.

Speaker 1 But then he found out that we're all fucking turning on each other and cutting off our uncles.

Speaker 1 And he goes, yeah, keep pushing it i think he should be up wow i think he should at least be taking his company taken away from him and and it should be shut down facebook and instagram should be shut down push the button well it's like stop making our society better well i agree with that but say i'll say that type of thing people will be like well a government can't decide what can what can and can't make their society better right i think they can

Speaker 1 I think that it might be abuse, but at some point it's like, this is too much bad. Right.
Well, I feel the same way about porn, about porn channels, you know? Yeah, or like, let's have some oversight.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, porn too. It's like it's non-stop.
Like, you can't like push porn to kids, right?

Speaker 1 They had to stop making uh THC gummies that are in the shape of clowns because they're like, hey, we're not actually giving these to five-year-olds, and you're kind of marketing them to five-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they had to stop putting Steve Simone was eating all of them too. I think.

Speaker 1 This is a Steve Simone joke. Love you, buddy.
They had to, uh, yeah, there he goes. Look, he's always smiling.
I know, huh? Where are the bodies?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's our Gacy.

Speaker 1 He's our John Lynn Gacy. Wow.

Speaker 1 On the surface.

Speaker 1 I joke it. He's the sweetest guy.

Speaker 1 He is.

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Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's like really bad and that you're doing you can't just put in like additives into fucking baby baby formula But why do we keep doing why do we keep building stuff that's bad for and like but if people say well if your government says you can't then that's like a it's a form of communism right like your government says you can't have this and you can't have it because we shouldn't have I mean we just had had a woman on we're talking about pornhub and um extremely high percentage of their content was totally unregulated so they had uh rapes on there they had unconsensual sex they had sex with minors they had sex with babies on there on pornhub on the website but their whole goal was just to have as much content as they could have because then they sell more advertising dollars because like we have this many urls we have this many links that people can go to so they're selling in bulk but they're they didn't have anybody or they had very few people moderating any any of the content that came through.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we have some laws, right? You can't blast music at parks. Right.
Because like, oh, this is kind of infringing other people's rights sort of here, you know,

Speaker 1 privacy, it's quiet. So there's some regulation.
I don't understand all this. I don't know what the line is from socialism to not.
I don't get any of that. It's not my, it's not my thing.

Speaker 1 I just know like this is really hurting us as a society and nobody's doing anything about it.

Speaker 1 You can't sell guns on a street corner just to anybody. Right.
And it's like, well, if it was bad for you, you wouldn't do it.

Speaker 1 Like, nah, you need someone to step in and be like, that's not, as a society, like, that's not allowed. You're making us hate our brothers and friends and shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 See the world as a terrible place. We didn't sign up for that.

Speaker 1 I don't like it. Twitter does that a lot, I noticed.
Twitter definitely can be a place where you can really get trapped in there. Do you notice that, Nick, you think?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I wake up in the morning and just piss myself off by reading all the stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and start angry. It's not a good way to start, right?

Speaker 1 You've been at the beach, but when you start like pleasant, you know, it's a better feeling when you're at the beach than you're on Twitter showing you what's to be mad about. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, there was a guy who used to work in Google to see which of the things had to go to the dark web and which were allowed.

Speaker 1 So his whole day was spent looking at snuff films and fucking car crashes and like child endangerment and stuff like that. Every one of those guys had to go to therapy for the rest of their lives.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because you're not supposed to see that stuff.
And we're seeing like versions of that. I hate it.
I hate it. God, let's draw on Corder Mark Zuckerberg.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't think we should do that. I don't know what we should do.
Let's Luigi. But is it just him, though? Like, it's must do.

Speaker 1 It's anybody who now knows what you're doing to society and you're not doing anything about it. You actually have the power to stop it, and you're not doing it.
Right. So, like, fuck off.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the same thing that I noticed with this woman talking about with porn up. It was like, they would bring up these cases.

Speaker 1 There were cases of people who had been raped and their footage uploaded, right? Oh, my God. Oh, and you can't just go, what? It's an open source thing.
Like, no, no, you're facilitating it. Right.

Speaker 1 Right. That's the thing.
People are like, well, we, and they, at one point, she said they only had one moderator who would spend, and something had to be flagged like 15 times before

Speaker 1 it even comes into the moderation queue. You're already fucked over.
And the moderation queue would be like hundreds of thousands of videos long that they have to sit there.

Speaker 1 And then there's just one person deciding. Yeah.
Adult, not adult, consensual, not consensual. The problem is you start with like they need to have some oversight.
They're going to go too far. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're going to make like, well, this joke they had about who's on top. We can't have that.
That's not our society wants that. You're like, that's too far.
And I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 You can't trust the government to regulate. I don't know what the answer is, but right now it ain't working.

Speaker 1 Well, and then you wonder,

Speaker 1 is human society supposed to have this success story? Or is it a

Speaker 1 unsuccessful experiment? Or is it just

Speaker 1 pharmaceuticals had to be regulated? You can't just give everyone side effects.

Speaker 1 You have to show your side effects.

Speaker 1 And it barely is. Right.
But you have to show your side effects. You have to go

Speaker 1 at the end. Yeah, yeah.
You have to at least do something. But then it's like, I think people have lost total faith faith that their country is going to do a lot.
They're not going to do shit.

Speaker 1 They're not going to do shit.

Speaker 1 They're just going to let it go. You go to another country, you eat like garbage for a week, and then you lose seven pounds.
You're like, how's this?

Speaker 1 Oh, there's not that many chemicals in other countries and shit. Right.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I think like, I mean, we talk about it a lot in here, like, with the Sackler family, the company that made all the drugs.

Speaker 1 God damn, and they're still

Speaker 1 alive. And they're still pushing it to people.
You should do Oxy. You should get on Oxy for pain.
And my dad had to get on something. I'm like, don't take that.
Take ibuprofen. Don't take that.

Speaker 1 You can't, if you get cooked on it, you can't kick it. They're still selling OxyContin.
Oh, yeah. Doctors are still pushing it.
They're incentivized to financially.

Speaker 1 Who's even making money? Is it just to go back to pay for

Speaker 1 victims?

Speaker 1 Oh, they're not paying those bills. Those fines? They're not paying those.
Really? Yeah, same thing with PG ⁇ E. All the forest fires, half of them are caused by...

Speaker 1 PG ⁇ E not doing the safety measures. Look at how many forest fires in California are started by the utilities.
Hold on, let's get this really quick.

Speaker 1 Purdue Pharma, Sackler families boost contribution and opioid settlement to $7.4 billion.

Speaker 1 The company and the once prominent family behind the drug OxyContin agreed Thursday to increase their financial contribution to resolve mass opioid litigation.

Speaker 1 The Sacklers and Purdue Pharma boosted their settlement contribution to $7.4 billion. If approved, the new plan would end the costliest corporate bankruptcy resulting from the U.S.
opioid crisis.

Speaker 1 So that's me $7.4 billion over the next 15 years. How much do they make a year?

Speaker 1 Go back. This is the same thing as like...
scroll, scroll.

Speaker 1 Under the new settlement, the terms of Sackler's control of Purdue Pharma ends. The 7.5%

Speaker 1 will go directly to communities across the U.S., including states, counties, cities, and territories over the next 15 years. Well, that's good.
That's good.

Speaker 5 But even this headline is like, oh, they decided to boost their contribution to the lawsuit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 hundreds of thousands of people. Yeah,

Speaker 1 all the Gulf oil spills, they paid this big fine. It was still less money than it would have been to do the safety measures.
Right.

Speaker 1 So they're like, it seems like a big number, but not compared to what they're making.

Speaker 1 You know, there was a time when if I got a parking ticket, it would break me. Oh, yeah.
And now I've seen like rich people like, I'll park here. It's like, look at parking.

Speaker 1 It's like, I'll just, it's fine. I'll just park here.
Yeah, it's fine. If somebody takes a car, I'll just buy a new car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chris Rock used to, instead of pulling into the lot, would just park in front. And they're like, they might give you a ticket.
He goes, I don't care. Yeah.
It's $80.

Speaker 1 And I'm a millionaire. He doesn't care.

Speaker 1 It's not going to, it's not going to de-incentivize him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it changes. So look at this.
So this is a wildfire caused by power lines. Okay, so why are we looking at this?

Speaker 1 So I'm saying, like,

Speaker 1 they're supposed to worry about safety measures. They don't.
We fine them. They don't pay the fines.

Speaker 1 Look at all those fires caused by that.

Speaker 1 And then they just don't do anything because they know, what are you going to do? Not use us? You're going to all be like in the dark for fucking years? Yeah, what do you use? A candle?

Speaker 1 Hundreds of forest fires. Maybe thousands by PG ⁇ E, and they won't do shit.
So that's the government's not doing shit. It's like, why even pay attention to any of it? Yeah, what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 You're just going to use Yankee candles all day? Fucking,

Speaker 1 dude, some of the candle smells have gotten crazy. It's really upping it.
That's what makes you hopeful. Yeah.
The candle game is, it's, it's barn on the shapes and everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw a candle dick in Washington Square Park. Really? And they lit it up? Yeah.
No, you can. Oh.
But I don't know what the smell is. I never lit it up.
I have one, though, in my house. I'm good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They have some video of a guy trying to smoke his own dick or whatever.

Speaker 1 He's laying on his back, pulled his nut, like brought his legs over his head, tried to put his penis in his mouth, and tried to light his nuts like he was like in a bowl of weed.

Speaker 1 How do you do? Huh? How do you do? The video cuts off early.

Speaker 1 But just unreal behavior. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 That's one vote for Trump right there. Did you get to say anything to him? Like, you should take care of this.
Is it Trump? Yeah, I always have this dream.

Speaker 1 Like, there's an outside possibility I can run into him. You know, it's an outside possibility.
And I'm like, if we all got to be like, hey, I just want two things to do

Speaker 1 what would you hit them with two things to do in the world yeah in america i would say sentence the sailor i would probably say sentence the sacclar family to death i think i like it that would be probably my favorite thing and that would put other people like i mean you grew up in a town that's that's by this well yeah most most of america i mean just the a rooms alone you see so many more people that aren't alcoholics they're open they're at they're opioids from pain relief straight to heroin and it's a different thing it's like the a program helps them but it does it's not the same.

Speaker 1 It's like these people, their database has been compromised and altered.

Speaker 1 I don't know if, can opioids affect your genetic makeup over time? Can they alter

Speaker 1 your DNA? Yeah, they can definitely alter your fucking.

Speaker 1 Your grill is affected, but sure. Your grin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes, opioids can alter DNA, which may contribute to opioid use disorder, these changes. So then you're not even talking to a human then.

Speaker 1 You're dealing with someone who's been compromised by a drug yeah yeah they're not they're not people anymore and why is this not being talked about all the time every city in america i don't know democrat and republican are failing under this and no one's doing shit about it well that's not what even what i tell them at least they stopped them from doing it but now they just have they have another new anti what's that there's a new opioid i just saw that they were putting up it's pravis proc prov you think they just rebranded and came back like a college bar that gets busted for underage and they go it's a new name now it's my brother runs it it's a different company

Speaker 1 oh that's the best

Speaker 1 bro when i was in college they had this group of gay fellas that would come and they'd fist fight it was called um i've said it before we'll beep we'll beep this part but it's called fist fights right and it was their company they came it was gay men would come you pay five bucks go there you get a beer and you get to watch fights and they would beat the living shit out of each other dude wow pretty cool in texas they have a bunch of midget wrestling yeah and it's just like signs for it it's not like a hidden backs back back room thing yeah

Speaker 1 It's a cock fighting of the

Speaker 1 have ever been to a cockfight? No. But there is midget

Speaker 1 versus rooster or whatever. Oh.
Right near the bottom of the bottom. How about midget versus gay?

Speaker 1 We got to make odds on all these things. Three midgets, two gays.
You know, what's the like over-under? Ooh, three midgets versus two gays. And then what kind of gays are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Is it like luck of the draw? Yeah, are you talking Ariana Grande fans or are you talking

Speaker 1 like hardcore?

Speaker 1 Mateo can take somebody. Oh, he's strong.
He's very strong. Yeah, but can he fight? And can he fight down?

Speaker 1 I bet he could. You got to be able to overcut.
I think he auditioned for newsies and got pretty far. So I bet he could.

Speaker 1 Dude, don't pick that fight. You're not going to win that.
Oh, yeah, he ain't going to win this. Fucking

Speaker 1 is that Carlos Mancia? Why is he dressed like Carlos Mancia? Is that crazy to say that? Looks a little like Shane in the face. He's dressed like Menzilla.
And he's got a face like Shane. Shane Gillis.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How can you even see that's in eight pixels?

Speaker 1 Let me see when he turns. Pause it when he turns.
If we see his face there.

Speaker 1 That's Shane, bro. That's Shane, bro.
That's Shane, bro. He's one of my friends.
That's Shane. Tell me it's not.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Look at that kicking for five minutes. That's our new commercial right there.

Speaker 1 That's him.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's great.

Speaker 1 He's wearing an Eagle's hat. That is so great.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's great.

Speaker 1 What were we just talking? Oh, but what's the new drug? You see it, Nick?

Speaker 5 This is a non-opioid that was just.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there we go. FDA approves novel non-opioid treatment for moderate to severe acute pain.
Yeah, that's what they need. Yeah, this just happened.

Speaker 1 Gernavix, J-O-U-R-N-A-V-X is the first drug to be approved in this new class of pain management medicines.

Speaker 1 50 milligram oral tablets, a first in class non-opioid analgesic to treat moderate to severe acute pain in adults. But wouldn't you just get addicted to using this? But does that mean you're not?

Speaker 1 You're using non-opioid. Maybe it's not addictive.
That's what I'm wondering. Do you not feel like melatonin, you know, what helps you go to sleep? Not melatonin, melatonin? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then like sleeping pills would become addictive. Melatonin is like, it just, it's fine.
So there's not opioids in here? What the fuck's an opioid to?

Speaker 1 Targeting a pain signaling pathway.

Speaker 1 So unlike opioids, which act on receptors in the brain, gernavics works by targeting a pain signaling pathway involving sodium channels in the peripheral nervous system.

Speaker 1 A lot of words I didn't know in that. Yeah, blocking pain signals before they reach the brain.
So it's stopping the signals instead of the receptors in the brain.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's like the difference between LimeWire and Napster. Yeah.
It's like pretty much the same, but it works different. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good, that's a good comparison. Thanks.
Evidence of non-addictive properties. Clinical data showed no evidence of withdrawal or drug-seeking behaviors in patients.
That's it. Right.

Speaker 1 The drug does not activate opioid receptors or induce euphoria.

Speaker 1 Well, they said the thing with oxycodone, oxycontin, whatever, was that they were like, well, what about getting off it? Like, we haven't seen any problem with that.

Speaker 1 And they go, did you test for that? And they go, no, we did not.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, how do you know how hard it is to withdraw? You've never tested it. Meanwhile, people are just fucking sleeping in fucking baby beds and shit.
Adults.

Speaker 1 Lean backs are fucking crazy right now. Opioids are a class of drugs that interact with opioid receptors in the brain and body to reduce pain perception and produce various effects.

Speaker 1 They can be natural, semi-synthetic, or synthetic chemicals.

Speaker 1 Yep. Well, I don't know, but yeah, they got to do something.
That's a good one to tell them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because once you k them, the rest are like, eh, let's get approval for this first. Yeah, people will start to, I think, be a little bit unnoticed.
There will be some sort of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they're serial killers. I don't understand how they were not.
They're serial killers. They're mass murderers.
And they go, well, it's a company. Yeah.
You know what they did in China?

Speaker 1 They had, they were testing the, for purity for baby formula. And so one company like put an additive in to make it test pure to go from like 96 to 99.
But that additive ended up killing 12 babies.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the government found out there's no bureaucracy there. They hung the board.
Wow. The whole board.
I'm like, no, the company has, it goes, no, you guys killed babies. Is that true? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like, we're done with this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to see that.

Speaker 1 They're just hungry. You can't just do, you can't break the law and kill babies.
You're out. You're out.
And hopefully this will be a sign to everybody else. Yeah.
There's enough Chinese.

Speaker 1 They might not have been the ones. They might have been different ones.

Speaker 1 Come on, Theo.

Speaker 1 I'll say this. If you show me 40 Chinese, dude,

Speaker 1 I don't know how I feel. You know?

Speaker 1 You're just going the same one over and over again. Be honest.
Well, it's kind of like this. One time this lady paid us to go get her cats in her yard or whatever.
And she was very old.

Speaker 1 And she would give us, like, I think a quarter for each cat that we brought in. Yeah.
And me and my buddy William just kept bringing the same two cats in over and over again.

Speaker 1 When I had to go get my visa to play China, I went in there and they're like, What are you doing there? I was like, I'm working. I got gigs.
I'm like, you're working.

Speaker 1 Where's your letter of invitation from the government? Where's your $50,000, you know? And I'm like, uh,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's like early when you go to China.
I mean, Canada, you have to tell them you're just visiting a friend. Yeah.
It was that too. I didn't realize.
So I call the promoters.

Speaker 1 I was like, what do I do? They go, go back. Only Bieber can afford the proper channels to play China.
Go back in there and tell them you're just there to see the Great Wall.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, but I was just in there. And he goes, so you know how we can't tell them apart? It's a two-way street.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just go right. Try not to go to that window, but if you do, it won't matter.

Speaker 1 And I got called in that window. She goes, Hi, how are you doing? I thought she was fucking with me.
I'm like, here to do some traveling in China. Okay.
That was it. Damn.

Speaker 1 Did you go with the same group that I went with? Did you go to?

Speaker 1 I didn't go with that Lee guy. I went with Turner Sparks and Andy Kurtain.

Speaker 1 No, it was a different group, I think. That was one of the best things about doing comedy, man, was just the places you got to go.
You couldn't afford it? No.

Speaker 1 And you just never would have been able to do it. And it flew you to fucking Suzhou, China, Guangxi, and all these places.
You know, like, dick jokes are paying for this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was wild. And you meet the local scenes.
I'm like, there's a comedy scene in Hong Kong. That was the best.
It was so cool. Iceland.
You're going to Australia and just weird spots.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we went to one right there. That's Guantanamo.
It's like Guantanamo Bay. With Mike.

Speaker 1 That's in Cuba? Yeah, who's that guy on the right guy?

Speaker 1 Jewish guy, too. Mike?

Speaker 1 E?

Speaker 1 No, Mike. Smoothie? Mike Bu.

Speaker 1 Mike Costa. Is that Mike Costa with us? Patrick DeGere.

Speaker 1 That's Costa. Yeah, it looks like Costa.
Patrick DeGere, Mike Costa. Who's Patrick De Guer? The blind one.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Patrick DeGuere. Yeah, he's blind.
That's you on the left? Yeah. Damn.

Speaker 1 I had good hair. Look how angry your hair is.
Yeah, exhuman. And that kid never nutted inside a chick? Never.
What an idiot. That's a nutter.

Speaker 1 That's a nutter.

Speaker 1 That was his time. Bro, he nutted in his champagne.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you never won a title in your prime. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I was young as fuck, bitch. Damn.
I was doing good. Look like Dane Cook there.
Yeah, bro. Dane and Shane.

Speaker 1 Dude, get that off the ground. Come on, NBC, make it come back.
So you went, so you just went all over. Look at that.
That's the Guantanamo Bay Lighthouse behind you. Went to Guantanamo Bay.

Speaker 1 Isn't it so fucking cool? You can go out places like that. Crazy.
Went to the A. Dude, Guantanamo Bay, I didn't realize, first of all,

Speaker 1 nice golf courses there.

Speaker 1 Underrated. You'd never know it.
We got to see the prisoners play some volleyball. Wow, really? Yeah.
She playing your jeans and no shirt, like in Top Gun?

Speaker 1 No, they wouldn't let us get that close to them or whatever. And some of them had blindfolds on or whatever.
They were still playing. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Just to do, like, to get out in the yard or whatever and have a... Oh, the prisoners.
Yeah. Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they had these.

Speaker 1 They could play volleyball?

Speaker 1 Iguanas down there, foxes,

Speaker 1 rodents,

Speaker 1 unique animals. They had a beach, this thing called Glass Beach.
It had all this. It used to be...
glass, but it all was rounded out now. From this, from the tides.
Where else they send you?

Speaker 1 Where else do you go? I went to Austin. azores we went to the azores which is somewhere i don't know portugal yes off the coast of portugal between portugal and america

Speaker 1 pretty amazing what about you i just remember i saw paul morris here today you know him yeah yeah we went to the point paul he's a basketball player he's great uh we got flown to switzerland montrea switzerland for a festival yeah and that we made a deal with each other like let's keep going places They have the Iceland, Australia, but the China gigs, those weird gigs, Dominican Republic.

Speaker 1 and you're just like you want dominican republic and you're just here on their dime the anchorage gigs oh i never did that those are good that take you on either a a thing above the glaciers or deep sea fishing me and david taylor were deep sea fishing we cut one open right there it had all these like dots in it he's like what's that he's well it's eggs it's pregnant so it's eggs and he goes is that caviar yeah Can you eat the raw?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he showed us and ate it. And David's like, I'll have some.
Right out of the thing, every pregnant one we found, David just started filling up on it. And then you get sick.
So sick.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to fill up on caviar on a boat.

Speaker 1 Especially when you're poor.

Speaker 1 You can barely afford a burrito and you're eating fresh out of the womb caviar. Bro, if somebody brought caviar to me, I'd fucking served in a womb.

Speaker 1 I'd fucking serve a sword to their neck, dude. You can't fucking eat caviar if you're poor, dude.
Yeah, that doesn't go. Your stomach's like, chill out, film.
You know, you just

Speaker 1 can't handle it.

Speaker 1 God, those gigs were good. They just fly out somewhere and it was just like on their dime.
And you're just like, they cover the hotel. They let you know where to stay.
There's no arranging.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you never made any money. Yeah, right.
But it was 200 bucks. Broke even.
Maybe. But then, like, you're living on a vacation to the level I can barely afford now.
Yeah. All covered.

Speaker 1 It was so cool. Dude, we went one time to what's the blue stuff that they put in drinks? It's

Speaker 1 they put in like a

Speaker 1 oh curse.

Speaker 1 Yes

Speaker 1 Boom. That place.
It's an island. Oh, so we went there

Speaker 1 You went there on comedy? Yes.

Speaker 1 Zoom out from the map. I want to see where this is on the map.
Go and then slowly zoom out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Night near Bonaire.
Okay. Out, out, out.
Where the fuck is he?

Speaker 1 I really don't know content today is yet. Me neither.

Speaker 1 Okay, in the Caribbean. Every couple years they move this place somewhere else.
It's like the island from lost. We went.
Go look at a picture picture of it, dude. It is like a small place.

Speaker 1 There's only one area that has a few buildings. And then there's this military base there.
But they manufacture this blue liqueur there. Yeah, that's the area.
It's very small. It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful, but there's nothing. I mean, this is it, right?

Speaker 1 And then we went to this military place. I think we did a show.
And then

Speaker 1 they had.

Speaker 1 They put us up in these rooms and then you go into the facility where the rooms were, like, and it just kind of looked like a bear, like

Speaker 1 almost like a

Speaker 1 community college type of or like an old high school just like the center block kind of wall you know with painted over and stuff then we opened the door to this one room and it was

Speaker 1 the most eccentric craziest room i'd ever been in dolled up different yes like i think fancy like operatives or somebody came down there every once in a while and they put them up in this crazy place and probably get them some chicks or whatever but it was unbelievable we went with uh yeah we went with cheerleaders from

Speaker 1 Houston Texans cheerleaders. What? Yeah.
That's when you would have nutted. Yeah, should have.
Who's that? That's the room I was in. Wow.
Me and Jay Davis were in.

Speaker 1 But every other room was normal. And then they had this one room that was crazy.
It had like mirrored ceilings, like heavy cocaine vibes. Me and Jay Davis.
That was a Coke vibe for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was crazy. It was just crazy.
There's me and him just

Speaker 1 wishing we had some women.

Speaker 1 Are you in shape there? I was in shape.

Speaker 1 damn, bro. I used to wait.
What? Yeah. That's you on the left.
I used to jerk myself off. That's how good looking I was.
Damn, drew. You need to lower those pants a little bit.
Show that V. What?

Speaker 1 Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 BLM, dude. I don't know what's going on over there.

Speaker 1 But that was pretty amazing. That's cool.
That was. But yeah, going places like that was unbelievable.
Military. You ever do any of the ones where you were in like Iraq?

Speaker 1 No, I just had Nate and and uh and lewa katz louis katz and uh and joe list on my podcast about going to kuwait and and uh with a stopover in istanbul wow and it's just like that same thing like what are we doing here it's all paid for and set up

Speaker 1 yeah that was great and you just saw you were like this is crazy because like when you grew up you're like i'll i'll probably never go there ever let alone on someone else's dime

Speaker 1 yeah they had a woman in a black uh trip they had a woman gave me a bj you'd be tripping a black hawk a bj and a Blackhawk on the ground on a on

Speaker 1 They arranged that for you? No, she arranged it. Okay, okay,

Speaker 1 and she said, oh, the airfield is on, I don't know what it was, like unman, unattended or something tonight.

Speaker 1 But yeah, pretty cool.

Speaker 1 And then what else? Oh, another tonight. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Wow. I know.
Pretty neat. I think that was in like...
Did she hold your hand and make a man out of you? I don't know what happened.

Speaker 1 Wait, you got a blowjob in a Blackhawk helicopter? Pretty cool. Did she leave no man behind? Or did she like...
I don't remember. I remember she had a huge

Speaker 1 kind of zit on her neck or like a goiter or something.

Speaker 1 You're just looking at that the whole time. I think she was from like Philly or something.
To wait a lot

Speaker 1 or something. But really a sweet gal.

Speaker 1 She was nice. Oh, there was another group that went jogging in the morning in the Air Force and she slipped over into my

Speaker 1 little cabin or whatever. She slipped out of line of the jog?

Speaker 1 And I couldn't get an erection. I was too freaked out or something.
I thought they were going to come over the guns. I didn't fucking know how the military works.
Where was this?

Speaker 1 This was in somewhere near Kuwait, Arif John, or one of these bases or something.

Speaker 1 Pretty cool. Wow.
Those were good. Yeah, it was good.
Good times. Good for.
Good for everybody. It was just cool.
Yeah, they would take you out in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 You just shoot a bunch of guns, you know, and just...

Speaker 1 That was Kuwait? You went to Kuwait. Yeah, whatever the one in Iraq.
Yeah. Air F.
Jonathan, we flew in there, went to these Ford operating bases. I think that's what they went to.

Speaker 1 I think it might have been the same one. That's pretty great.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the special. Let's get a little bit more about it.
I want to know about it. Are you torn off of it now? Is there going to be a new one? I'm torn off at a different hour.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm torn a little bit for like till April. Then I'm going to take about a year and a half off.
Yeah. Off the road.
You always do a good job of that. It's taking time.

Speaker 1 You're the one guy who's always like, dude, you got to take some time off for yourself. And I'm like, I will.
And then I never do. Yeah, I always try to get you to.
Yeah, you do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could. I know.
One of them will. Yeah.
One day I'll just take time off forever, you know. I think that's probably maybe my goal.
Save it up and then go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like when people save up their PTO or whatever. They save it up till the end.
Once you quit, like, I get all that. Oh, that's the wrong way to live.
You think?

Speaker 1 You should be taking along the way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I'm going to go backpacking for like six, eight months, just traveling.
You've been some pretty great places over the years. I went to Cuba this year with Bobby Kelly.
Did you really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 For her, we were there for Hurricane.

Speaker 1 That's not why we went. We went to get away from the election.
No way. Yeah, we went out there on Monday.
We didn't find out who won until Sunday. Wow.

Speaker 1 They don't even have elections there. Yeah.
You're like, what happened to the election? Like, I don't know what that word means. Alecciones? No se, no se.

Speaker 1 Wow, what was it like there? I mean, it was pretty wild. You can see like the remnants of what it would have been, the extravagance, same buildings.

Speaker 1 They have an embargo there. That's one thing I tell Trump.
Like, come on in that already. They're just poor people now for no reason.
And so what does that mean they have an embargo?

Speaker 1 So you can't, they won't trade with America.

Speaker 1 They won't trade with anyone who trades with america to a degree i think so so we won't trade with or we did we do that or they did that we did that okay and so obama ended it and then and opened up travel and everything trump put back on the embargo but you can still travel and then biden also took out stayed no full embargo but you can still travel so there's 20 flights a day from miami and houston okay so you can travel to cuba but can't bring back cigars can't bring back alcohol and we don't do trade with them yeah and so that means they can't grow extra stuff and trade all their sugar cane, all their tobacco, they can't, there's no reason to grow extra because they can't, it'll just rot.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So there's just poverty there. So it's just poverty, but it's also just poverty because the government takes, probably like funnels a lot of the money just to themselves.
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 They're doing okay. But that hurricane, they evacuated everyone they had to evacuate like it like really well.
There was three people rushed to the hospital. That's it during a type three hurricane.

Speaker 1 That's nice. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 the whole island lost power for two days. So there was no power in the entire country for two days.
So that was like weird.

Speaker 1 But then we just wandered around outside afterwards, just like looked at the devastation. Hmm.

Speaker 1 U.S. business conducting trade or commerce? Current embargo set interests.
Yeah, President Donald Trump was taking office for a second term on January 2025.

Speaker 1 So if we reverse several actions taken by the outgoing Biden administration. Well, that happens a lot.
Like the one, like, so for a couple days that things have changed, right?

Speaker 1 So, you know, I think I know what this is.

Speaker 1 So Diaz told me this, gave me me a clue they wouldn't florida didn't vote for hillary clinton because they never forgave bill clinton for giving back ellian gonzalez because they those cubans that fled and went to florida who who are all and they they breed you know so there are a lot of them they hate the the castro regime over there and they're anything you can they tell their grandkids you can never visit cuba fuck that place and so they were mad at them giving this kid back to his real father like he should be in america so they just hate him so it took obama for like well i've already run twice and won.

Speaker 1 So I'm not going to run for a third term. So now I can end this embargo.
If he didn't, Florida goes against him.

Speaker 1 So Trump, same thing. He's like, I want that Cuban vote.
Let's put that embargo back on. Biden, too, I want that Cuban vote, put that embargo back on.
Yeah. Florida's a big vote.
It ain't Maryland.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If it was Maryland, they're like, I don't care.
Florida's a lot of points, right? So I'm hoping he's like, well, I've already in. Dang.
Yeah. So it's just, it's just whatever.

Speaker 1 But so then when you go, they're like, can you bring anything? Like, yes, light bulbs. Or it's not even expensive.
Like, we just can't get shit here. Batteries, a battery charger.
We would love that.

Speaker 1 Huh. Yeah.
So he was like, hey, the hurricane's coming. We're going to lose power.
Charge everything. Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's wild. You don't even think about the things you would need suddenly.
Yeah. So you can see all the buildings.

Speaker 1 They look kind of decrepit, but if you like blink and like imagine it with like a clean coat of paint, you're like, oh, yeah, this would have been the vacation spot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe one day it will be again. Well, I guess, well, you guys went there for a vacation.
How was it? I loved it.

Speaker 1 I had so much fun because you go to beach all day i went to the beach nobody was on it they they cooked you a lobster right there for ten dollars it was so cool it was so much fun and freeing i got to practice my spanish so it's a great place to go god damn and we didn't get out of havana we would have gotten out except for the hurricane kind of put a damper on it but it was cool experience anyway but like yeah i would love to go back i would love to go to trinidad like the city of trinidad in cuba and in the east and just like was there a nightlife there when you went dancing and music yeah that cuban music we went to what's left of buenavisto social club i was dancing they picked me up to dance this fucking hot black chick like caribbean like black chick yeah just dancing with me and i was like i remember a little salsa class saltwater sisters baby yeah

Speaker 1 i was going for it dude it felt so good it was so fucking fun yeah everyone's out everyone's smoking and just casually smoking those cigars and just like drinking are they bust on you the libres do they bust on you because you're american no not at all one guy one guy goes, I know it's not you.

Speaker 1 I know it's your government. And I was like, I wasn't even thinking about it.

Speaker 1 Wow. We went when I was a student.
We went. I want to get you on my podcast about that year.
Well, when I went to there, semester at sea? Okay. Did I come talk about that? I'd never talk about it.

Speaker 1 I met a guy. It would go perfect with that pod, but also like...
Journey. What's it called? The trip.
You'd be tripping. You'd be tripping.

Speaker 1 Just about a place you've been, but I haven't had ocean as any.

Speaker 1 But like, I met a guy in my neighborhood. I never talk about that whole trip.
We were talking. He goes, do you know Theo Vaughn? I was like, yeah, yeah, it's a friend of mine.

Speaker 1 And he goes, I was on a boat with him once. And I was like, oh, weird.
And he goes, no, no, no. It was like a six-month thing.
Yeah. I got to get his name to see if you remember.

Speaker 1 I got to remember his name. Semester at C, white guy? Yeah, white guy.
James. James was his name.

Speaker 1 James. But anyway, yeah, and I was like, oh, that'd be perfect.
That sounds so cool. Oh, it was great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Semester at C, it was like a floating school, took off out of Canada, out of Vancouver over there,

Speaker 1 and just went around the whole world, finished in Florida. We stopped at Cube on the way.
You did? On the way back, yeah. Fidel came and spoke to us, too.
It was pretty crazy. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then we just tried to get out. Oh, dude, I'll tell you this fun thing that happened.
So we went out and nobody spoke any Spanish or whatever.

Speaker 1 We would just do like that if somebody talked to us in Spanish, you know?

Speaker 1 We would fucking just do that and order a cuba libre, you know? Oh, man, they're great there. Oh, yeah.
The Havana Club. Yeah, we went to the Havana Club.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we we saw a guy picking his nose so hard for so long

Speaker 1 so long i have a picture of him i can't show it because it's being too much hate hard workers over there hard no there's a white guy oh this is a white guy get rid of that

Speaker 1 pollution

Speaker 1 yeah a lot of people travel over there pick their nose

Speaker 1 it's different in cuba the flick goes further

Speaker 1 and then uh so we were at this thing we're just walking down the streets and finally we found this kind of party going on it looked like it was some people there was like a birthday cake and stuff for this old guy and these people like were drinking, and we were drinking.

Speaker 1 So, we all just start kind of dancing in this little kind of foyer area, like off this edge of this house and stuff. And we're hanging out and stuff.
And we're singing happy birthday and dancing.

Speaker 1 And then you start to realize, I look over, and this old guy is going down on this woman. They were hookers that they'd hired for this birthday.

Speaker 1 These two old dudes had hired some hookers for their birthday. What? And we're just fucking there, like cutting the cake with them and shit.
We're like, what the fuck are we doing, bro?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of hookers there. Yeah.
Was there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't get any you see them though i'm like i haven't seen any hookers and you notice like oh yeah yeah that oh yeah that they're like hi and you're like yep there's just different yeah that was and then when we had to go get bread and cheese you got what

Speaker 1 we were staying with a guy and they were like should we help should we help he goes no no i got it i got you and then when the hurricane was coming like should we go out and like get like supplies and he goes yes like he was like oh shit you're worried So we're like on the hunt for bread and cheese.

Speaker 1 And everywhere we went, they're like, we're out, we're out.

Speaker 1 And then Bobby Kelly was like, all right, let's go. Let's go to the next place.
we got to go and he goes well hold on there's cookies here i'm like bob it's not a cookie time dude let's go

Speaker 1 so what else you see an alcoholic with a dessert it's hard it's fucking a replacement what else you see there what else did we see went to a baseball game oh i missed doing that and we were when we left we were throwing everything we had off of the edge of the uh ship like tennis shoes any just because they didn't have like just things that like we're like what are we gonna do take this shit we don't even fucking care who cares because you kind of made friends with the the people while you were there.

Speaker 1 They had this guy named Henry that was taking us around.

Speaker 1 And it was just, so we're just throwing everything we had just off the edge of this boat. Just take it.
You take it. Take it here.

Speaker 1 They'll get used to it. So it was all kind of stuff.
Yeah, cuz they could use it. It was, that was pretty awesome.
That was really great. Yeah, it's crazy that they don't have access.

Speaker 1 It's weird when you go to another place and see a cultural difference that you hadn't even noticed before. You're like, oh, I have access to shoes when I want it.

Speaker 1 I might not be able to afford them, but I can get them. Yeah.
And they had horse meat. That's what they served us at this conference.
Conference. They said they served us horse meat.

Speaker 1 And then they had also,

Speaker 1 they, like, you wore this, this, this,

Speaker 1 uh, translator machine. So whenever Fidel was talking and the speakers were talking, you could hear what they were saying.
Whoa. And then some people got to asking questions and shit.

Speaker 1 One kid got him to sign his passport. Fidel Castro? Signed some passport.
Wow. That's a perfect thing to sign.
Sign somebody's passport. Wow.
Pretty fucking cool. This little surprise.

Speaker 1 You met Fidel castro some little slurper i don't know if i met him i don't think i did but you saw him yeah we saw him he came and spoke to us like 600 students or maybe

Speaker 1 and then i'm trying to think of anything else that happened that was super great over there i i just happened pretty quick and we just drank with like a lot of like homeless people like a lot of times you would pull in you're on a boat dock so you were always like around like homeless people and shit and wherever boat docks are right that's not that's not the typical vibe of a city right like sometimes it was like cool like miami and then sometimes it was like you were in like jersey you know like you just it was hit hit or miss, you know, some of these ports you went into.

Speaker 1 So you'd roll off thinking like, oh, we're going to be in the lap of like some cool area. And you'd just be in like the industrial and the docks, you know, like in Belfast or something.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Who would go here? Yeah. Northern LA goes to where the ship's dock.
People are just getting fucking wasted. It's just at some point.
I've been at sea for nine months. Get me hookers and drugs now.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, all the staff that worked on the cruise ship, they were from like Trinidad and Tobago and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And so they were all, they would all go get hookers the second that the boat docked. You'd see them file out like ants just to go get hookers in these different countries.

Speaker 1 I went last year, Trinidad and Tobago. Yeah.
For a carnival. Was it nice? It was so much fun.
For Carnival.

Speaker 1 I dressed the whole outfit with the big fucking feathers and you just dance and drink for days. Wow.
It was so much fun. Who'd you go with? A chick.
Yeah. I met my friend.

Speaker 1 My friend's like in line to be the prime minister there from college. Really? Yeah, his dad was the prime minister.
And then when I met him, he was the ambassador to America. White guy? Tobagon? No.

Speaker 1 Dark-skinned black. Dark-skinned black.
Yeah, they only have Indians and blacks there pretty much. Oh, yeah.
But everyone's dancing, whining on each other. They were whining on me.

Speaker 1 They were playing this not happening for some reason on loop. No.
On loop. So like for like four hours a day, they were playing this not happening in Trinidad.
No residuals.

Speaker 1 And so I was getting recognized in Trinidad and Tobago. Some chick was like, oh, you are Shafira? And I was like, yeah.
She goes, can I wine on you? I'm like, yeah. She's just fucking backing it up.

Speaker 1 That's what they do there? Yeah. It's not even sexual.
It's just like backing it up right on your ass and just rubbing and they just go all the way down.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's great. Oh.
And what do they call it? Wine on you? Wining. Wining.
It's their dance. Wining.
Wow. And it's Tobagan? I guess so.
Wow. Steel pan, all that shit.

Speaker 1 It was so fucking cool.

Speaker 1 I love that. What do you notice after traveling to some of these places?

Speaker 1 What are the things you miss about America? And what do you think are the things that we lose by being such a capitalistic environment? Food is cleaner other places. Okay.

Speaker 1 Like in Cuba, they don't have much, but they don't have chemicals to put in there either. Right.

Speaker 1 And then it's like the need to work for life. Oh, she's teaching how to whine.
I might have watched this video before I went. God.

Speaker 1 And what do you do? Stand there? Stand there. You could lift one leg around them, try to go down with them.

Speaker 1 You mean you can't do it, but they're like, it's funny, the white guy trying, but there's no like, they're not like mad at you for being there. There's so few whites.
There are? Yeah. Hmm.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the real one has more. Whoa, pregnancia.

Speaker 1 You just.

Speaker 1 That's when you really. That's when your nuts go missing right there.

Speaker 1 Wow. Let's learn to watch.
Jesus, lady. I know.
Alto, alto. I caught a pickpocket in Croatia one time and got a picture with him.

Speaker 1 He pickpocketed you? Caught him fucking just like that.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, I'm not mad at you. Let's just just take a picture

Speaker 1 and he ran off little guy little five will go steving

Speaker 1 hey no he's like all right yeah fair's fair

Speaker 1 um where you just like you you notice like oh we have some good things where we are you know you get to appreciate that but then also like the need to work as your method for reward

Speaker 1 you know it's like nah it shouldn't be that it should be work to play

Speaker 1 like how much value we put on that yeah it's like never ending work till you die and there they're like you know, work for the for the weekend. You get, you try to go towards like something fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there they have like carnival season. It's a month plus long.
Parties, parties, parties.

Speaker 1 It's great. Jouvet, everyone's like throwing paint on each other and mud.
Jouvet. Jouvet.
Jouvet. It's like Jouvert.
That's in Trinidad. Trinidad.
Yeah, it's a night before. So you're up all night.

Speaker 1 You get two hours of sleep, then go back to drinking and whining. Yeah, that's Jouvet.
Jouvet. J.

Speaker 1 Jouvert. Jouvet Dash.
O-U-V-R-T. Everyone's fighting with.

Speaker 1 Wow. And they're fist fighting? No.
Partying. They're fighting with paint.
No, that's not. Okay.
Yeah. They're in a great mood.
It's all pretty safe. Let's look about Jouvet.

Speaker 1 Can you find me information on it? It looks beautiful. It's the day before.

Speaker 1 So colorful. A traditional carnival celebration in many countries throughout the Caribbean.

Speaker 1 The parade is believed to have its foundation in Trinidad and Tobago with roots steeped in French Afro-Creole traditions. Wow.
Such as Canboulet. Canboulet, what is that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it smells so fucking weird.

Speaker 1 And it comes from like some weird version of like Christianity and slavery celebrating. Oh, yeah.
Can Boule is a precursor to Trinidad and Tobago Carnival.

Speaker 1 The festival is also where Calypso music has its roots. Steel drum.
You know why they did steel drum? Because they outlawed drumming because they were like,

Speaker 1 you're like riling people up. So like, well, let's get these abandoned steel drums.
like the oil drums. We'll make music out of that.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Go back to that

Speaker 1 information, Nick.

Speaker 1 It was originally a harvest festival of which drums, singing, dancing, and chanting were an integral part.

Speaker 1 Huh. Yep.

Speaker 1 Can Boulet has played an important role in the development of the music of Trinidad and Tobago, for it was the banning of percussion instruments in the 1880s that led to the surreptitious innovations that gave birth to steel pan music.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's cool. Yeah, here's me in my fucking costume.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Isn't that fun?

Speaker 1 It was so fucking fun. So he showed us how to do it.
My friend Brian. Dude, that's so cool.
You look like a native, bro. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I got lost in it. You look so native.
It was so fun.

Speaker 1 I mean, they party. They do it right.
There's no status. There's no any of that.
Like, what do you mean they party? They go to let loose.

Speaker 1 Like a Filipino lady and like all the Filipinos in like China and stuff, when it's the weekend, they party. They just dance on the docks together.
Right. They go for it.

Speaker 1 They're like, let's let loose it's not about like who which table am i at who's going to be here yeah it's the party for the sake of party and it's like the downstairs on the on the titanic yeah

Speaker 1 you know yeah everything else just gets a little bit ridiculous out here that i think you definitely notice that more in big cities yeah club club life clubbing in europe is about like doing drugs and dancing yeah and here it's about like bottle service and and velvet ropes prestige yeah

Speaker 1 yeah that kind of stuff starts to disappear once you even get out of i feel like some of the bigger cities.

Speaker 1 I always notice, too, that Australians travel the most. I feel

Speaker 1 yeah. It's like

Speaker 1 they go do it. It's how they we can't even comprehend it.
No, you see one in the audience, like, oh, you guys, what are you doing here? It's like, I'm on holiday. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, so just LA in the back? Like, no, L.A., Vegas, Miami, and then Copenhagen, London, whatever. Like, how long are you? Oh, what field of dreams do we go into?

Speaker 1 There's always like one outlier thing they're going to see. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like, why? Nobody goes that way.
You want to see Mickey Rooney's grave over there

Speaker 1 yeah they go for like two months i know it is really incredible how they'll go it's almost like that amish thing like um

Speaker 1 what's the where they go rum springer rumspringer yeah australians almost have that we're like i'm gonna go see the world and australians all they really want to do is try the different cokes from around the country oh they like doing cocaine yeah they love it and they have the worst oh yeah they love it the most and have the worst yeah so it's like imagine you dunking i love to dunk but i can't really do it because i can't really do it but then you go to like the moon and you're like i can dunk now.

Speaker 1 All you want to do is just dunk all day.

Speaker 1 Just fucking just jumping right past the sun. Would you see that picture that just came up about Mars? Do you see that? What about it? They found this crazy thing on there's a photo.

Speaker 1 If this photo is real, did you see that, Nick?

Speaker 4 Yeah, they found like a perfect square on Mars.

Speaker 1 Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. What?

Speaker 1 It's kind of fascinating. That's unsettling.

Speaker 1 Okay, perfect. This year's Square Square Circle Spider-Mars behind Branded Wild has space fanatics completely baffled.
Yeah, that's a straight line.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm trying to see if we can get a clear picture of it.

Speaker 1 I'm sure they were too. Yeah, facts.
Oh, that's it right there. So you start to wonder, like, because your mind also starts to say, well, okay, that's a square.

Speaker 1 But also, it's like, is it just like right there, the rocks broke down just that way? That's not, that's like Bigfoot shit. Really is or UFO.

Speaker 1 So every time UFO, like, look at this, I'm like, like I can't say context Yeah, that looks like a dot and when the shittiest thing for me is the UFOs have been in the water recently Do you hear that a couple like a month ago?

Speaker 1 Yeah, why wouldn't they hide in the water? And you're like, okay, so you're telling me this whole time we've been looking up and they're down and they're down.

Speaker 1 Oh, you tricksters. It's like a it's like part of a Scooby-Doo episode.
It's like What? I'm not worried about them harming me.

Speaker 1 This was a dot.

Speaker 1 They tell me something.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tim Burchis said an interview on Wednesday that an admirable whom he did not identify told him an unidentified craft moving at incredible speeds in the sea. It's always incredible speeds.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're like, how about it's, it's far away? Look, look, if you have something really far away and it's moving across the screen like that, you're like, that's slow.

Speaker 1 If it's right here, it's like, oh, my God, that's so fast. Yeah.
It's just, you can't see the fucking scale. You can't see where it is.
But also, just they've, oh, they've been in the water.

Speaker 1 That's, oh, we were looking up here and they're down. You never thought to tell us about the water?

Speaker 1 kind of discover it. You got to be a real scuba-doo.
It kind of made, yeah, it kind of

Speaker 1 was better than the other one. He went around,

Speaker 1 but it was what I was like, this is so fucking dumb, dude. Now they're in the water.
It's like, so they're not up here. It just was so dumb.
Yeah, where else are they going to be? Yeah. Where's next?

Speaker 1 In the fridge? I know.

Speaker 1 Where do you want to go? Still Argentina?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Barraloche.
You know a place. Map that for me.
Let's see, Baraloche.

Speaker 1 Where the women swim like

Speaker 1 swine. Let me see it.

Speaker 1 You don't know how to spell that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I was going to say, how do we spell it?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's up to you, really. You're a free American.
It's up fucking you, bro. It's up to you, boy.
Miraloche. Baraloche.
Why that place? Where'd you hear about that?

Speaker 1 You just heard about it from somebody? It's so funny when you hear about something when you're a kid and you just remember it forever, you know? You're like, yeah, I gotta go there.

Speaker 1 It's hard with Bon Jovi. Wow.
Wow. Oh, so it gets cold there, too.
Oh, it looks perfect. It does look perfect.
San Carlos de Burralucha. Looks beautiful.
Halifax is beautiful. You've been there.

Speaker 1 I just went for the first time. Did you? I've been trying to go to eastern Canada for so fucking long, and my Jews just keep telling me it's not worth it for the money.
And I'm like, I want to go.

Speaker 1 And they go, fine, only winter. I'm like, no, no.
You got to be outside or in that. Yeah.
Like, you'll draw less. I'm like, who, guys.

Speaker 1 Get me out there. And I finally went.
I loved it. Beautiful.
Weird, cool people, isolated. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Strange, different people real real fucking uh

Speaker 1 what's that movie where they put that guy in a box

Speaker 1 and they burned it alive i think i think one of them i think nicholas cage did a remake of it not match dick match

Speaker 1 wicker man wicker man

Speaker 1 it looks like wickerman-ish for sure yeah it was great yeah i love that lacrosse wisconsin was a place that i liked in america yeah outside mount pelier very beautiful it's uh just like a perfect place i've been doing that now a lot when i meet somebody from another country i'm like what's what's your tips and And they go, oh, well, go to Buenos Aires.

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, no, no, no. You're from Buenos Aires.
Give me a restaurant, a bar, or where you go hiking outside of there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they tell me, and I put it on Google Maps, and I'm like, I'm getting there. Give me the grassroots.
Baraloche. I can write that one down.
And that's La Crosse, Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 I think it's one of the best little cities. Barraloche? Barraloche, yeah.
Where the women swim like swine.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, there you go. There's Granddad's Bluff over there.

Speaker 1 baraloche oh yeah bro that's what we need more baraloche

Speaker 1 in america yeah and then i would say in america probably i would go with lacrosse wisconsin is a place that i really think is a great place to go tour or see just nice it's like that if you thought of a split like ideal place in america yeah like especially like Where like in the fall the leaves change color and it's like it was a cool mountain, but you could still ride your bike everywhere you wanted to in town as a kid and you have just enough of a little downtown with like some three-story buildings where you're like oh that's downtown

Speaker 1 bars yes and everything but some cool old shops and stuff downtown where it really feels cool how many people live there in lacrosse wisconsin 52 818.

Speaker 1 so a good enough size too where it's like you know you'll have some neighbors you have some good sporting events and stuff like that um you're close enough to drive to green bay to cheer for the packers but yes right right but far enough away like we don't go right like this is their downtown so everything you know it's just kind of perfect this is where de rosa lives in pennsylvania cities like this yeah yeah like like an hour outside philadelphia Pennsylvania's got some beautiful places.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like a small downtown just like that. And he's the mayor.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got one light.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That place is a great spot.

Speaker 1 That's the kind of thing you do when you're on the road where it's like, all right, I'm going to go, I'm going to stay a few days longer or go a few days early, chill out, then do my shows or stay there and drive in for your shows and go back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you have all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to do some more. Like, I think maybe after this year, then I would just get a camper and do like a

Speaker 1 year where I just go around the country, do some like interview just regular people in different places and you're good at that too and just have a just i saw you interview like a school bus driver once go touring who do we interview did you have a school bus driver or a bus driver we have a hostage negotiator coming on soon somebody more regular and we got a native years ago we had a female long-haul trucker a mortician lunch lunch lady maybe it's mortician maybe it's lunch but yeah that normal that you can get a lot out of them that'd be fun

Speaker 1 yeah Who'd drive the RV? You? Or you could have somebody else be driving it or switch off? Probably switch off. I've driven off.
Or if I have a family at that point. You looking?

Speaker 1 I got to get a family at some point. Well, if you do that, guess what you're going to have to do first?

Speaker 1 Nut inside. Nut inside, buddy.

Speaker 1 That's it. It's for you.
It's all there.

Speaker 1 You don't say.

Speaker 1 That would be cool. Me and O'Neal and Matt Edgar did one where we did Spokane and we did Tacoma.
Yeah. No, Tacoma, then Spokane.

Speaker 1 And then, so two days there, two days out in the interim, we found a fire station, a fire lookout station that had been redone

Speaker 1 so it was an hour hike to get up there's no roads in took all our shit and we stayed up there for like three days doing mushrooms there's hundreds of acres around us wow there's nothing up there and it was a 360 deck on top so no none of the animals would get at you but you could be out there you just found it yeah o' neil found it damn and the guy was like yeah we own this we retrofitted it they don't need these fire lookouts anymore and so it was like it was that's but that's all there if you're willing to take like the week in between yeah skiing doing anything yeah i think some things just get like you're like you want to work but then you're like have i done enough work i don't know but then you start working so much you don't even know what you're doing anymore sometimes too just autopilot wasting time it's funny i have two different sets of friends and half of them are like pity me for not buckling down enough and the other half look up to me for for like paying a back end enough I think I look up to, I think I always admire the fact that you go and do these fun things that seem to keep you alive.

Speaker 1 I got a proposition for you. Maybe I'll tell you off air.
Okay, that's fair. Yeah, I want to come.
I want to talk about the semester at sea. That's what I would like to talk about.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So we'll do it. Can you do it in New York? New York, or if we're in Austin together, we can do it then.
Okay. Yeah, I have a studio there too.
Yeah, that'd be fun to go through the different places.

Speaker 1 I've never really gone through and thought about it. And yeah, you'll think about it.
You're going to remember stuff as we go. That's what happens to everybody when they're doing it.

Speaker 1 When they're doing one of the episodes, they're like, and then I went, oh, that chit Margaret. Oh, yeah.
At that moment that I love. Dude, we had a girl.

Speaker 1 She fucking did a water slide somewhere in like Vietnam, which nobody knew they even had.

Speaker 1 Broke out both of her front teeth and got knocked up by a mariachi player, dude. A mariachi player in Vietnam? I know.

Speaker 1 What do you mean we had a girl? I don't know.

Speaker 1 She was just on the cruise ship, too. Because that would be it.
You'd land in a port with the cruise ship. You would take classes while you're on the ship.

Speaker 1 And the program is called Semester at Sea, and it's amazing. You'd take classes.
But then once you got to a city, you would just, people could go do whatever they wanted.

Speaker 1 You could be back at whatever. Be back when the ship leaves at like 01700 or something.
So people would come back with drug habits. People would come back with amazing stories.

Speaker 1 People would come back with their teeth in their pocket and a full-time. That's like Fantasy Island.
It was just some people would go. People would stay with a couple people that fell in love.

Speaker 1 They just fucking stayed. They're like, fuck it.
A couple people got busted with drugs or whatever, and they just left them there. No.
Yeah, rules are rules, man. Yeah, wheels up.

Speaker 1 Wheels up at this time. Wheels up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 anchors up. So that was all of that was kind of fascinating.
Do you think Fantasy Island was a precursor for Epstein Island? I'm not sure what Fantasy Island was. It a real place.

Speaker 1 No, it was a TV show. Oh, it was? Yeah, I never saw it.
With Herbie Villa showed, whatever. No, my buddy's dad was in Love Boat.
Yeah. Really? What was he in Love Boat? He was a captain, I think.

Speaker 1 What? He was captain. Captain Stubing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to spell it. Yeah, him.
That was your buddy's dad? That guy, long. I guarantee you that guy came inside.

Speaker 1 You think? Dead at 90. He passed.
He was fucking till he was 88 and a half. Guaranteed.
Oh, no, this wasn't his dad then.

Speaker 1 Just captain on a boat.

Speaker 1 He fell in love on a boat and he was the captain. Yeah, that's it.
That's it. I can't.
No, my buddies. That was.
You're good enough continuing when you're like, no, I'm not lying.

Speaker 1 I'm not lying about any of these things.

Speaker 1 I love there was a clip of Rio on Rogan when you were like, you're doing the Theo thing. You're like,

Speaker 1 I can't do the action. I was like, man, these bees are just exploding.
And Joe just starts laughing. And you're like, yeah, they're exploding.
He's like, what are you talking about? Look it up, Jamie.

Speaker 1 Everyone thinks you're a lot. And he goes, yeah, there's exploding bees.
And he goes, yeah, what do you mean? Every now and then,

Speaker 1 you bring a piece of information that he doesn't have.

Speaker 1 That's when his mind is blown. How did you know this? Well, he's a library.
Imagine going to bed when you're a library. Yeah.
He's a fucking library.

Speaker 1 It's like you go to the front desk and you're like, hey, do you have this book? And he's like, let me see what I have. And then he shows up with the information that you have.

Speaker 1 For a pothead, he really remembers quite a lot. Unfucking real.

Speaker 1 That's, I think, I mean, he has a lot of.

Speaker 1 He's a hard worker, but I think he's, he's, he just has a, he has an endless memory. And a lust for knowledge.
He wants to keep feeding it.

Speaker 1 Genuinely curious. Yeah, I'm already like, I know enough.
Dude, I know so little and I gave up then.

Speaker 1 I think that was my MO.

Speaker 1 Ari Shapir, we got the the new special. American Sweetheart.
American Sweetheart and PeopleFlix. On Netflix.
Congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wanted this one. More regular people to see it and less YouTube people.
Yeah. There's lower views on Netflix for people at my level.

Speaker 1 But it does take time for people to get to it too. Yeah.
But then also just like, I'm trying to really get through with humor of like, chill,

Speaker 1 chill. Everything's nice.
So hopefully some people, I've seen some people, hey, I put down the phone all day because that's special. They're like, great, getting through to you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that's how they really captivate it. Yeah, it's like, man.
Yeah, the closer is the darkest one. Yeah.
Yeah. So get to the closer, I guess.
And then I'm on tour. Cool.

Speaker 1 All over America, the farewell tour before I go backpacking. Man.

Speaker 1 That's going to be nice, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay. As soon as we're done, I want to suggest something to you.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm ready to take a suggestion.

Speaker 1 Yep. Thank you guys.
America's sweetheart, Ari Shafir, his tour after the backpacking or before? What? The tour? Yeah. Tours now.
And then I'm going to end that and leave.

Speaker 1 It's going to a couple more months of hanging out in New York, having fun, and then like take off. Yeah.
Take off. And then, I don't know.
But the You'll Be Tripping podcast will still come out.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone. I'm banked.
I'm already like 30 ahead. Oh, just for this.
And what a great idea, too.

Speaker 1 So it's all about trips that people have taken. Like one trip you took.
Yeah. Come back, tell me about a different trip.

Speaker 1 Come back, tell me there were a different trip, but you would stay in that place. And it's not like, what am I supposed to do? It's like, what did you do? Right.

Speaker 1 I fell in love. I fucking, like, Danny Polishik was like, I had dengue fever and Laos, but the whole time in a sand floor hospital.
Perfect. Tell me about it.
Fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just love it. Sometimes I finish the episodes and I just like sit there and like sigh.
Like, I want to go there. Yeah.
And sometimes I'm like, that was bad.

Speaker 1 I didn't care. I think sometimes we do an episode, I'm like, oh,

Speaker 1 like, that was the best ever. And I'm like, you guys are fucking, we're all idiots.

Speaker 1 It is fascinating how like you'll, the, the idea of planning a trip is so hectic. And then you just plan it.

Speaker 1 And then, like, the, the day comes where you're sitting on the plane and you're like, this is the best decision I ever made. It's the best.
You're nervous. You're nervous.
I'll do it later.

Speaker 1 If you just, my booker in Romania, he goes, I'm trying to go to Thailand. I couldn't go.
And you know what? I'm buying a ticket. And then I'm going to force myself to go from six months to know.

Speaker 1 If I have a ticket, I'm going. And he did.
And he went. And it's just like, and then that thing of you get off the plane, you're still in an airport.
It seems familiar.

Speaker 1 But when those sliding doors open, you go outside and there's a little smell difference, yeah, and you just feel like the signs are in a different color, and you're just like, Oh,

Speaker 1 here we go,

Speaker 1 it hits you, and you're like, Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, and you just gotta get by. The cab drivers are trying to hustle you, and you're just like, Oh, it's

Speaker 1 just the best, yeah, God, it's good. Yeah, we had a taxi took us in Vietnam straight to a bird animal place that had hookers in the back.
So, pet shop front, hooker back.

Speaker 1 So, how do those go together? Just what a.

Speaker 1 What a great. What a.

Speaker 1 Hey, kid, play with the puppies. Dad's going to go in the back.
It was kind of like when you see those Pizza Hut Baskin Robins or whatever, was that merger or whatever? Uh-huh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, I'll take a couple of scoops.

Speaker 1 A couple of scoops in a wing. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 I'll take a fucking piece of pie and a fucking

Speaker 1 gerbil.

Speaker 1 All right, Shafir, man. You endlessly continue to create content, man, and put your comedy out in the world, man.
And

Speaker 1 have fun. Yeah, you always do.
Oh, thanks for coming and hanging out, man. Yeah.
Good seeing you, buddy. Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be

Speaker 1 cornerstone.

Speaker 1 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it

Speaker 1 in my bones.

Speaker 1 But it's gonna take

Speaker 1 a little