WWDTM: Tiffany Haddish

Speaker 1 This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up.

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Speaker 1 From NPR at WBEC, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News quiz.

Speaker 1 Warning, there's no lifeguard on duty, and you're in the dependen of my voice.

Speaker 1 I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Speaker 1 Thank you, everybody. Great to see you all.

Speaker 1 We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be joined by comedian and actor Tiffany Haddish.

Speaker 1 But first, we, just speaking for ourselves, so excited that the federal government shutdown is over. So instead of being defunded because of an emergency, we can go back to being defunded on purpose.

Speaker 1 But somehow our phones still work.

Speaker 1 So call in to play our games. The number to call is 188-WAITWAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week.
Hi, you're on WaitWait, John. Tell me.

Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Sophia, calling from Los Angeles, California.

Speaker 1 Hey, how are things in beautiful LA?

Speaker 3 A little rainy, but good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that'll be good for you, I know. What do you do there?

Speaker 3 I'm an engineer.

Speaker 1 You're an engineer? Ooh, I love engineers. What sort of things do you engineer?

Speaker 3 I work in an aerospace company doing a new space station.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, really?

Speaker 1 You mean like a totally different space station than the one we have?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow, I didn't know where you were getting a second one.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know what? Trump cut a wing off of the other one.

Speaker 1 Money saving.

Speaker 1 Well, welcome to the show. Sophia, let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First up, he's a comedian and fashion designer.

Speaker 1 You can see December 13th in Chicago at the Kimball Art Center for the birthday in Babylon extravaganza. It's the Prince of Bronzeville, Brian Babylon.

Speaker 1 Next, she's a featured writer for the Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts.
Hello, Sophia.

Speaker 1 And finally, a comedian, you can see New Year's Eve at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco. And of course, she is the host of the weekly podcast.
Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone.

Speaker 1 It's Paula Poundstone.

Speaker 1 So, Sophia, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

Speaker 1 If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize, any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to go? Yep.
All right.

Speaker 1 Your first quote is from an email about President Trump that was in the news this week. He is the dog that did not bark.

Speaker 1 After months of people demanding that they be released, that was one of the thousands of emails released this week. From the account of whom?

Speaker 3 Would that be Epstein?

Speaker 1 That would be Jeffrey Epstein. Yes.
You can applaud for her.

Speaker 1 For her. In the emails released by the House, Epstein calls Trump, quote, borderline insane, so gross, a dirty businessman, and quote, even worse in person than on TV, unquote.

Speaker 1 So, say it with me, folks. Maybe Jeffrey Epstein wasn't so bad.

Speaker 1 No, he was bad, just

Speaker 1 honest as well. I mean,

Speaker 1 it's amazing. It's like, it's this bizarre look into this guy's world and all the people he associated with.

Speaker 1 But probably the most interesting email was the one from 2019 where Epstein wrote, Hey, looking forward to living long enough to implicate the president. Well, gotta go.

Speaker 1 There's a bunch of guys in my cell. Bye.

Speaker 5 Wait, how many emails were there?

Speaker 1 There were 20,000 pages of emails. Wow.

Speaker 5 And over what period of time were they given?

Speaker 1 Years and years, decades. Oh, oh, my.

Speaker 5 20,000. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know what?

Speaker 5 A lot of it's got to be be spam.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pretty much. But you know what I would love to do? I would love to take all those emails and then dump them in the chat GPT and say, hey man, what do you think about this?

Speaker 1 And that's where you get a nice unfiltered. Chat GPT was like, oh God, I can't.

Speaker 1 Sophia, here is your next quote. It's a wonderful life, the sound of music, and ordinary people.

Speaker 1 That was from a list of somebody's favorite movies released before a big event with Hollywood luminaries at the Vatican this week. Whose list was it?

Speaker 1 The Pope. The Pope, yes!

Speaker 1 This week, Pope Leo released a list of his favorite movies. It was Life is Beautiful, The Sound of Music, It's a Wonderful Life, Ordinary People, and this is weird, Anything with Sidney Sweeney.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 actually, no, it was just the four movies. That's a weird list, man.
Really, you think? I don't think so. What the hell?

Speaker 1 Isn't he from the South Side? He is.

Speaker 1 I think it's...

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 I think it's a list that a guy who appears to be a godly person would pick.

Speaker 1 He's the PR list. Right.
If he had put Die Hard in there with the rest of those movies, I'd be okay. Like, Life is Good, Sound of Music, Die Hard.
Ordinary People. Unlike Mark.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or like Fast and the Furious 7, like that. Yeah, a little human title.
No, no, no, no, that's trash. Like, you know, a legit.

Speaker 5 I am not remotely upset nor baffled by the Pope's list of movies. These are good movies.

Speaker 1 And what about? What was ordinary people about?

Speaker 1 The family drama set here in Chicago. It's a Chicago movie, North Shores.

Speaker 5 Maybe that's why he was such a fan of it. But these are good movies.
And a Pope, you know, I mean,

Speaker 5 he started out just as a priest, right?

Speaker 1 I believe, yes, that is a requirement to be pope. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's not like if you want to be a pope, if that's your ambition, you pretty much have to start as a priest.

Speaker 5 I thought maybe it was like the Supreme Court where you could just have come in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's no actual, I mean, there's no law that says the Pope has to be a priest. Yeah, you know,

Speaker 5 right, exactly.

Speaker 1 Or, you know, I used to be a hairstylist.

Speaker 5 I used to manage an international house of pancakes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I'm just naturally good with people.

Speaker 1 Also a service organization. Yeah.
All right. Sophia, here is your last quote.
As a Lake Ontario girlie who's worked on ships, this day is high key my jam.

Speaker 1 That was a woman on TikTok, one of many young people commemorating the 50th anniversary this week of the wreck of what?

Speaker 3 The Edmund Fitzgerald.

Speaker 1 The Edmund Fitzgerald, yes.

Speaker 1 The hottest thing on TikTok right now is a 1975 shipwreck. Young people gathered in clubs and bars on Monday to commemorate the anniversary of the tragedy on Lake Superior, as always.

Speaker 1 It just seems the two things that crosses our society across generations, the two things are what color is this dress and big ship go down.

Speaker 1 No, so if you want to know if you don't know and you want to go and find out the specifics of what happened to the Edmund Fitzgerald, you can go on TikTok or ask literally any dad.

Speaker 1 It sank. It did.

Speaker 1 Was it like a six and a seven clash together? No.

Speaker 1 I mean, no, no.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing though, and I love this, that I found out

Speaker 1 by virtue of these young people on TikTok and their commemorations.

Speaker 1 The company that built the ship, way back when, named it after their own president, Edmund Fitzgerald, even though he begged them not to, right?

Speaker 1 And I just feel incredibly sorry for that guy guy because he walked around for the rest of his life just muttering, I said call it the centennial, but no.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 5 that's how the guy who made the new Cracker Barrel logo feels.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Two, I believe, equivalent disasters in American history, right? Yeah, very. Oh, 50 years from now, they'll be commemorating that on TikTok and what's left of it.

Speaker 5 Ask any TikTok historian. There are parallels.

Speaker 1 Yes, it's true.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Sophia do in our quiz? Smart engineer there in Los Angeles. She got them all right.
All right.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Sophia, thank you so much for playing. Take care.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Azure.

Speaker 1 Panel, right now it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Speaker 1 Paula, residents who live in London near the Olympic Velodrome that was built for the 2012 Summer Games there have noticed this odd phenomenon.

Speaker 1 The Velodrome on certain occasions emits loud sounds that sound very much like what?

Speaker 5 Skaters stuck inside.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I should also say that the Velodrome was for bicycle racing.

Speaker 5 Well, that's why skaters would get stuck.

Speaker 1 That's true. You're right.
No ice. They'd just go right in there.

Speaker 5 Poor things.

Speaker 5 You know what? Don't just report on it. Get over there with a chainsaw and get the skaters out.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's not the answer. It is.
No.

Speaker 5 Want to give me a hint?

Speaker 1 I guess

Speaker 1 he who created this audio phenomenon through architectural quirks dealt it?

Speaker 5 Oh my gosh, there's like farting sounds coming from the bottom.

Speaker 1 Farting noises emitting from the building.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's the bicycle.

Speaker 1 People often complain that these incredibly expensive facilities built for like one Olympics are useless once it's over. Well, no more.
This one farts.

Speaker 1 So the building has this double curved roof that they call the Pringle, because that's what it looks like.

Speaker 1 And people who live near it notice that during, say, fireworks displays, the loud bangs get reflected off the curves in a funny way that sound a lot like, well,

Speaker 1 a fart. So we have the audio and the sound you, we do, brace yourselves.

Speaker 1 The sound you hear is fireworks and then the sound reflected off the velodrome roof.

Speaker 1 Wow. Right.
Well, you know what? That's accurate.

Speaker 1 That's accurate.

Speaker 1 No, that could be a lot of noises. That could be frogs.
No.

Speaker 1 That could be some type of... duck mating

Speaker 5 when i hear noises like that i put the dog out

Speaker 1 Coming up, our panelists introduce you to a new friend in our Bluff the Listener game called 1 888 WaitWait to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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You tell everybody about it. You grab strangers on the street.

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Speaker 1 Just go to the podcast site that you get this from and rate us and review us. People really dig that.
So if you like wait, wait, remember to rate us and review us, but, you know, positively.

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Speaker 1 From NPR in WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Paula Ponstone, Roxanne Roberts, and Brian Babylon.

Speaker 1 And here again as your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter, stay gone.

Speaker 1 Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Bill.
Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me bluff the listener game called Win888. Wait, wait to play our game on the air.

Speaker 1 Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Noah calling from Washington, D.C.
Hey, Noah, how are you? I'm doing well. I'm very excited to be here.
I'm very excited to have you.

Speaker 1 What do you do there in Washington?

Speaker 1 Well, Peter, I regret almost every day moving from my beloved hometown of Chicago.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you. Well, thank you for saying that.
So as you sit around in Washington and just yearn for home. That That is very true.
I miss my Chicago dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, I'm always up for a Chicago dog, too. Let's put the show in hold.
We'll go get one together. Noah.
Sounds like a blast. It does.
Noah, it's great to have you with us.

Speaker 1 You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Noah's topic? Her name is Tallulah.

Speaker 1 This week, we read about a remarkable woman named Tallulah, and her story was so compelling, we just had to share it with all of you.

Speaker 1 Our panelists are going to tell you about Tallulah, who was in the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice on on your voicemail.

Speaker 1 Ready to apply? I'm so excited. Well, we are excited to have you try.
Here we go. Let's hear first from Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 4 You can get financial coverage from the Wall Street Journal, or you can get it from OnlyFans breakout star Tallulah Bank.

Speaker 4 Bank, who named herself after the spicy Hollywood star Tallulah Bank head, is a 29-year-old former Goldman Sachs analyst who gives daily stock market news and advice to more than a million Wall Street bros and other subscribers.

Speaker 1 She's naked, but covered from neck to ankle in cash. All of this is perfectly legal, or is it?

Speaker 4 The SEC has reportedly opened an investigation into Bank,

Speaker 4 says the New York Post, alleging that in addition to actual tips, Bank gets privileged corporate information DM'd to her.

Speaker 4 Her attorney has denied all the charges, telling the the Post that his client is simply an astute observer of the stock market.

Speaker 4 Quote, the only thing Miss Bank is guilty of is rising interest rates among her thousands of fans.

Speaker 1 Tallulah Bank, a very successful influencer on OnlyFans, who gives out financial advice dressed only in currency,

Speaker 1 Your next Tallulah tidbit comes from Brian Babylon.

Speaker 1 In paranormal news, 58-year-old Tallulah Adelia Bialo has stepped forward claiming that she and former President Barack Obama once ran an undercover youth ghost elimination strike force in high school.

Speaker 1 According to Bialo, the duo patrolled abandoned gymnasiums, foggy beaches, and at least one suspiciously cold broom closet at school.

Speaker 1 Their makeshift team was called the Abarition Opposition, and they detailed logs of supernatural encounters, including the time they were in the band room and saw a phantom flute playing the song Orinoco Flo by Enya.

Speaker 1 And this was 10 years before the song was even released. Crazy.

Speaker 1 Look, I'm not saying Tolula and I saved Honolulu from ghostly chaos, Obama said. I'm just saying the broom closet wasn't cold for no reason.

Speaker 1 Bialo, meanwhile, is writing her memoir tentatively called Specters, Senators, and Gugga, Guggagga, Gugga Ghosts, My Life-Haunting Ghosts with Barack.

Speaker 1 A Talula,

Speaker 1 who it turns out used to ghost bust with none other than Barack Obama in high school. And your last story of this mysterious mist comes from Paula Poundstone.

Speaker 5 After eye surgery to remove scar tissue due to retinopathy caused by type 1 diabetes, Mark Bryan was beset by visual hallucinations of a large large set of Bay Watch-style breasts.

Speaker 5 He named the apparition Tallulah, but the breasts were the only part of her he saw in the hallucinations. He knows nothing about her brains or personality.

Speaker 5 Although he may have waited some time before reporting the symptoms, Mark Bryan was later informed by his surgeon that the hallucinations were caused by a rare eye condition called Charles Bonnet syndrome.

Speaker 5 The surgeons placed a bubble of air in Mark's eye to help it heal, and that's what caused Tallulah's breasts to move as if she was running on the beach.

Speaker 5 As news spreads of this side effect of eye surgery to remove scar tissue due to retinopathy caused by type 1 diabetes, doctors may well be concerned about an unstoppable, unhealthy increase in sugar intake among the male population.

Speaker 5 Cinnabon may well hire Mark Bryan as their spokesperson if he is not already the new face of little Debbie, little Marky.

Speaker 1 All right, one of these is the Tallulah we found in the week's news.

Speaker 1 Was it from Roxanne, a financial influencer on OnlyFans named Tallulah Bank, from Brian Babylon, a woman named Tallulah who claims accurately that she used to ghost hunt with Barack Obama in high school, or from Paula Poundstone, eye surgery leads to a man hallucinating a Baywatch babe he named Tallulah.

Speaker 1 Okay, which of these is the real story of Tallulah in the week's news? I want to give it to Paula's Baywatch breaths, but I do think it's the OnlyFans.

Speaker 1 So you think it's Roxanne's OnlyFans model, Tallulah Bank. Okay, well, to bring you the real story, here's somebody who had some expertise on it.

Speaker 1 The hallucinations I've heard are usually landscapes, colors, animals. I have not heard of giant breasts.

Speaker 1 That was Siobhan Midgley, a vision rehabilitation teacher in the Chicagoland area, an expert on Charles Bonnet syndrome, talking about the man who really did see a woman he called Tallulah, or certain parts of her, wherever he looked for weeks at a time.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry, Noah. You should have gone with your instinct, and you should never,

Speaker 1 ever trust Roxanne.

Speaker 1 Accurate, arguing. Oh, so many men.
She has led to their doom with her wiles. But you want a point, however, for her, which is all she lives for.

Speaker 1 So thank you so much for calling and playing and come back home soon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you so much. Take care here.
Bye-bye. Thank you, Babank.

Speaker 1 And now the game we call Not My Job. Tiffany Haddish was a working comedian and actor for 20 years when she had her huge breakout role as Dina in the movie Girl Strip in 2017.

Speaker 1 Since then, she has starred in many more movies, TV shows, stand-up specials. She has written two New York Times bestsellers, one an Emmy and a Grammy, and has even been bought Mitzford.
Her new show,

Speaker 1 Tiffany Haddish, goes off, premiered on Peacock this week. Tiffany Haddish, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 I have a thing deep in my heart because I've known so many for actors who paid their dues. And you did, right? You were out there for many, many years, starting as a teenager

Speaker 1 doing comedy.

Speaker 1 Can you tell us about some of the weird jobs you took to support yourself during the lean years?

Speaker 3 Yes, so I did a lot of, I was a sous chef. A sous chef?

Speaker 3 Yes, sous chef.

Speaker 3 Then I was a professional babysitter. Also, I was an energy producer at Bar and Bop Mitzvah's for like 11 years.
I was an activities coordinator at a youth center.

Speaker 3 did sound work. I did a

Speaker 3 camera assistant, gaffer,

Speaker 3 set deck. I've done all the jobs.

Speaker 1 I have to ask you, hang on, I think you and I have the same question. An energy producer at bar and bot mitzvahs?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I did bar bot mitzvahs, executive parties, Christmas parties, Hanukkah parties, funerals, you name it. My job, produce amazing energy.

Speaker 1 So wait a minute. So you were kind of a hype woman? You like got the crowd hyped up?

Speaker 3 I wouldn't call that a hype woman. What I call it is an energy producer.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I got you. I got you.
So

Speaker 1 I'm just flashing back.

Speaker 3 You call it a hype woman? That sounds like flavor flake to me. No.

Speaker 1 No. That's not it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Amazing.

Speaker 1 All right. Let me let me try to.

Speaker 3 You just make grandma, grandpa get up out the chair. The energy is so good, they got to start dancing.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so like, I do, actually. So I'm thinking back many, many years to my own bar mitzvah.
This was a very long time ago.

Speaker 1 And I did not have an energy producer of any kind.

Speaker 3 And it was a boring party, wasn't it?

Speaker 1 It was pretty dull.

Speaker 1 It was pretty dull. So it's too late now.
It's too late now.

Speaker 3 It's never too late. We can throw you a 67th birthday party.

Speaker 1 We can do that. And thank you for that estimate of my age.
It crippled me. But first of all, so if you had been at my bar mitzvah many years ago,

Speaker 1 how could you briefly demonstrate how you would have energized the party so it was not the drab

Speaker 1 synagogue assembly room experience that it was?

Speaker 3 First, I would go to you and I would go, young Peter.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Please take my beautiful brown hand and follow me, darling.

Speaker 3 And I would lead you out to the dance floor and I would stand you right next to me and I would say, follow my lead. Do whatever I do, okay? And smile the whole time.

Speaker 3 No matter how it feels, just smile the whole time.

Speaker 3 And I would start with a side-to-side step clap, right? Or you side-to-side step clap with me. And I'm doing it.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Hey, puck it up.
Hey, hey, pump it up. Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 1 And then the next thing you know, the whole mom is fucking it up.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 1 Retroactively, I am very excited and extraordinarily embarrassed. I am like,

Speaker 1 because that's, yeah, that, whoa, that is.

Speaker 3 It's a Jewish way. It is.

Speaker 1 Well, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Peter, I'm going to be real with you.
I've seen Tiffany,

Speaker 1 she could make a Dredo spin without spinning it. She's got that energy.

Speaker 1 You recently had your own bot mitzvah, right? You turned forward.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It was a few years ago.

Speaker 3 It was a few years ago.

Speaker 1 Who did you hire? Because you have convinced me of the usefulness of this. Did you hire your own energy producer for your bot mitzvah or did you handle that yourself?

Speaker 3 I hired

Speaker 3 the same company that I used to work for, I hired them. And we brought in younger, more vibrant energy producers.

Speaker 3 And then like Billy Crystal did my Aaliyah.

Speaker 3 No, Kid Silverman's sister,

Speaker 3 she

Speaker 3 officiated my whole bot mitzvah. Susan Silverman, like it was the most beautiful, it was beautiful.

Speaker 1 I want to ask you, one of the things I also learned is that during your years of struggle, you still had ambitions.

Speaker 1 You knew and you said sometimes in public that you were going to make it, you were going to be big.

Speaker 1 Now that, well, you have, you became incredibly famous with girls trip and many stuff since then. What is the like the first thing you did when you started making real money?

Speaker 3 I bought a microscope.

Speaker 1 A microscope?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I bought a $359 microscope that took pictures of bacterias and I could upload those bacterias to Google and I could find out exactly what it is to me okay so in my mind it was me developing my relationship with god and just seeing all the things he created and did you know that some bacterias look just like people

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 i i mean i thought they were like they were like some of them were like rod shaped and some of them were squiggly but you're saying that you look yeah some of them is ugly as

Speaker 3 just ugly and i'm like oh god god i see what you was doing he this guy's a bacteria like this right like this candida and i know that and I'm just curious about all the stuff God does.

Speaker 3 Like, that's why I like swimming with sharks and stuff because you see all the plant life and animal life down there. He's just like, look how creative he is.
He's so creative.

Speaker 5 That could be your last thought just before one of those sharks hits you.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 See, here go the thing. Sharks don't really like people like that.
That's why they bite them and spit them out because we too acidic. So as long as I keep drinking soda, girl, I'm good.

Speaker 1 Timothy Haddish, it is a joy to talk to you, but we have invited you here to play a game, and this time we are calling it Girls Trip, meet girl strip.

Speaker 1 You start in Girls Trip, so we're going to ask you about comic strips about girls, girl strips. Get it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Oh, I thought it was going to be something else. I'm like, I know, I know.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 1 I bet you do.

Speaker 1 But no, I wanted to clarify that's what we're doing. We're a weekend show for families.
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 3 Okay, Okay, family show.

Speaker 1 Here we go. So answer two to three questions right.
You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill. Who is Tiffany Haddish playing for? Liz Patterson of Atlanta, Georgia.

Speaker 1 All right, here's your first question. The most famous girl strip is, of course, Kathy, that long-running strip about a single woman with issues.

Speaker 1 Kathy ended its run in 2010, but it left its mark on the comic strip industry. How?

Speaker 1 A, the strip in which she married her boyfriend, Irving, was so bad, the phrase marrying Irving now means ruining your comic strip forever.

Speaker 1 B whenever a comic strip writer can't think of something for a character to say they just say acknow Kathy did or C, the highest praise one comic artist can say to another is I thought I was reading Kathy.

Speaker 1 You're gonna go for B, no I'm afraid it was marrying Irving. Really? Marrying Irving because people believe that that completely ruined.
That's like the comic strip equivalent of jumping the shark.

Speaker 1 Here's your next question. The Barbie doll was in part originally inspired by a German newspaper comic strip called Lily.
Who was Lily, the character Lily?

Speaker 1 Was she A, the beautiful wife of an ugly bricklayer named Kenneth? B a quote high-end call girl, or C, a beauty pageant winner who became a surgeon, an astronaut, and an Olympic gymnast?

Speaker 1 I'll go with B. You're gonna go with B.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because the way her makeup was and stuff, and she always had her boobs out.

Speaker 1 That's right, you have figured it out. That's what Lily was.
So Lily was a, you got it right.

Speaker 1 Lily was a risque comic for adults in the 50s in Germany. And the company started making dolls of Lily.

Speaker 1 And the wife of one of the founders of Mattel was in Germany, saw one and said, hey, I can work with that. All right, here's your last question.

Speaker 1 The comic strip Little Orphan Annie ended its run in 2010. What was the adorable orphan's fate in the very last Little Orphan Annie comic strip?

Speaker 1 Was it A, she was being held captive by an Eastern European war criminal? B, she discovered her real parents were the Romanovs, making her heir to the Russian throne.

Speaker 1 Or C, she instantly aged the 90 years that had passed since the first strip and crumbled into dust.

Speaker 1 Like Thanos? Very much like Thanos, yes. What was A again? A again was that she was being held captive by an Eastern European war criminal.

Speaker 3 Then I'm gonna go with she got kidnapped, and that's how they came with the movie

Speaker 3 taken.

Speaker 1 That's exactly right. Wow.
In fact,

Speaker 1 I believe in the final frame of the final strip, Daddy Warbox is saying into a phone, I have certain skills.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Tiffany Haddish do in our quiz? Are you kidding? She rewrote the quiz.

Speaker 1 She's a winner in everything.

Speaker 1 You have...

Speaker 1 You have bought the energy in this little reader. I told you.
You told me.

Speaker 1 And you did not exaggerate.

Speaker 1 She's still going. She's still going.
Brian was your advanced fan.

Speaker 1 Tiffany Haddish is an Emmy and Grammy winner. You can see her in her new show, Tiffany Haddish Goes Off.
It is streaming on Peacock Now.

Speaker 1 If it is a quarter as fun as talking to her in real life, it will be amazing. Tiffany Haddish, thank you so much.
Thank you for being with us. You're the best.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, Bill gives you his tip for staying healthy this flu season in our listener limerick challenge called 188 Wait Wait to join us in the air.

Speaker 1 We'll be back in a minute with more if Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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Speaker 1 from NPR at WBEC Chicago. This is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me the NPR News quiz.

Speaker 1 I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Paula Poundstone, and Roxanne Roberts.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Bill. In just a minute,

Speaker 1 we enjoy the bounty of our annual harvest of limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1888-WATEWATE.
That's 1-888-924-8924.

Speaker 1 But right now, panel, we have some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, athletic gear can be very expensive.
A pair of Lululemon pants, for example, can cost as much as $150.

Speaker 1 But one solution to get them cheaper is to buy them how?

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 I'm going to say used.

Speaker 1 You're right, used

Speaker 1 workout gear. It's becoming more and more popular online as people resell their high-end Lululemon sports bras and running shorts, and this time not solely to perverts.

Speaker 1 That sounds like some OnlyFans actually. Yeah, actually, yeah.
A lot of times with eating pants, or I like to call them yoga fans or eating pants. Eaten pants.
Oh, you mean eating? Eating. Like,

Speaker 1 let me get some of my eating pants on because I got a lot of room in them. But it's like, I've noticed like a lot of times those in the thighs, they're real rubbed in.
It's like they're all mapped up.

Speaker 1 They get killy. They get real pee.

Speaker 5 Okay, Peter is a runner.

Speaker 5 His thighs don't even know each other.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Would that it were so.

Speaker 1 I would only trust this if you got with the clothes a detailed description of what the person who had owned them before did with them, right? Oh, they just your lounge around pants, fine.

Speaker 1 Oh, you went to hot yoga in them once, burned them.

Speaker 5 Y'all are talking as if you're not aware that you can wash clothes.

Speaker 1 But Paula, what I'm talking about ain't no washing gonna help. When your thighs rub together,

Speaker 1 you can't wash that away. No.

Speaker 1 Got a question for you, Paula, right here. Paula, there's a hot new trend in wedding receptions in addition to a DJ, an open bar, you know, the cake.

Speaker 1 Many receptions now feature somebody walking around, somebody they've hired for this purpose, doing what? Energy producing.

Speaker 5 I wish.

Speaker 5 Collapsing, and they have to be revived.

Speaker 1 That's not right, but what kind of energy do you think that would bring to a wedding?

Speaker 1 Oval Office.

Speaker 1 Make a good point.

Speaker 5 Will you give me a hint? I'll try to get it.

Speaker 1 Wow, it's like these people must have paid big bucks. They got Kenny G.

Speaker 5 Like an Impressionist, like a celebrity person?

Speaker 1 No, like Kenny G. What does Kenny G do?

Speaker 5 Oh, he plays the

Speaker 5 saxophone.

Speaker 1 Yes, playing the saxophone.

Speaker 1 Wait, just the saxophone? Right, just the saxophone. If you wish your big day sounded like the loudest parts of a Bruce Springsteen song,

Speaker 1 we have the wedding service for you. More and more weddings are featuring a, quote, loose saxophonist at the reception.

Speaker 1 And by loose, we just mean, you know, wandering around without a band or anything. But yes, he will also be sleeping with your most desperate bridesmaid.

Speaker 5 A loose saxophonist. A loose saxophonist.
That's such a great. I love that phrase.

Speaker 1 As in saxophonist on the loose.

Speaker 5 Yeah, loose saxophonist.

Speaker 1 Why are these couples like asking for a saxophonist?

Speaker 1 Brides are like, I always pictured that on my wedding day, there'd be somebody there both balding, but with a ponytail, and this seemed like the simplest way to see it.

Speaker 4 They want that slightly mournful Edmund Fitzgerald energy.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, you're limited by the fact that they're loose. I mean you're not gonna have a loose kettle drum player.
That's right.

Speaker 5 But I think saxophones are very sexy.

Speaker 1 But I mean

Speaker 1 the beginning of careless whisper. Is that what they're doing?

Speaker 1 Maybe. I think so.
That's the only thing. I'm trying to think of like

Speaker 1 the heat is on, like the heat is up.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of all the songs that demand sax energy. And I can't match it up with a

Speaker 1 wedding reception. We're trying to get turnt up.
Sax ain't it.

Speaker 1 Cocaine is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1888-WAIT-WAIT.

Speaker 1 That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago.

Speaker 1 Or Catch Us on the Road will be in Phoenix, Arizona on December 4th, where Tig Natara will be joining us again on our panel and we all plan on doing our best show ever just for you.

Speaker 1 Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. And if you like our show but can't stand it for more than a few seconds at a time, check us out at TikTok at WaitWaitNPR.

Speaker 1 Hi, you're on WaitWait Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 8 Hi everyone, my name is Benjamin. I'm calling in from Columbia, South Carolina.

Speaker 1 Oh, Columbia is a great place. What do you do there?

Speaker 8 I'm a musician. I'm not a saxophone player.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but are you loose? It's a shame because there's some money-making opportunities out there. Where do you play?

Speaker 8 Yep. I missed my calling.
I'm a trumpet player and a singer. And once I figure out how to do both of those things at the same time, you will see me on YouTube.

Speaker 1 I was about to say that those are two sort of mutually exclusive musical specialties.

Speaker 1 Louis Armstrong did that, right? Yeah, but he didn't do it at the same time. Yes, I did.

Speaker 1 Well, Benjamin, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word of phrase missing from each.

Speaker 1 If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go? Let's do it.
All right, here is your first limerick.

Speaker 1 Those birds with long wings and a wee skull can steal food and squawk and still be dull.

Speaker 1 But sound like Bill Curtis and they will not hurt us. A deep voice will scare off a

Speaker 1 seagull. Seagull.
Seagull, yeah. A recent study has discovered that talking to seagulls in a deep voice will stop them from stealing your food.
But be careful.

Speaker 1 Many of us have found out the hard way that this is also how you turn them on.

Speaker 5 Get out of my chips!

Speaker 1 Pretty much. Pretty much.
And Paula,

Speaker 1 before you ask, this study, this is how they did it. They took a closed Pepperware container of french fries and they put it on the ground.

Speaker 1 And when seagulls approached, a recording either played a neutral bird song, that's the control, right, or a recording of a loud male voice playing at different volumes. Speaking made them walk away.

Speaker 1 Shouting made them fly away. Conversely, speaking to them after inhaling helium made them eat your face.

Speaker 1 Because seagulls are savage. There's a video floating around where

Speaker 1 there's a seagull that's flew down and took a lady's full steak. Wow.
A steak. A steak.
That's not a mouse. That's a full steak.
So hey, get away from my steak, Seago.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that would have worked, because that Sego was dedicated. It was, yeah.
Here,

Speaker 1 here is your next limerick. To dreamland, I'd like to embark.
So this shower is hitting the mark. I'm embracing the night by killing the lights.
I'm washing myself in the

Speaker 1 dark. Yes, in the dark.
Dark showering, literally showering in the dark, apparently can calm your brain and allow for a better transition to sleep.

Speaker 1 And if you slip on something in the shower that's dark and crack your head, a much faster transition to sleep.

Speaker 5 Sounds like a safety hazard. Definitely a safety hazard.

Speaker 1 No, dark showering is very relaxing and very pleasant until you hear a voice from the darkness say, hey, can you pass the shampoo?

Speaker 1 Like, I can see the Geico gecko saying, that's not a good idea. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's in there too? Yeah, but for insurance purposes, it's like your premium's going to go up.

Speaker 1 But he was in there looking, though. That was the weird part.

Speaker 1 Looking up, man. I don't like it.
I don't like it. All right, Benjamin, here is your last limerick.
Real doctors, oh, heck, what do they know? I will not take meds on their say-so.

Speaker 1 Raw and sliced for a rash. For a cold, cooked and mashed.
I fill up my socks with...

Speaker 8 I'm going to need that one again. The only thing that's coming to my brain is Drano.

Speaker 1 and I'm gonna

Speaker 1 do that. Don't put Drano in your socks.
That's very important.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Real doctors, oh heck, what do they know? I will not take meds on their say-so.

Speaker 1 Raw and sliced for a rash, for a cold cooked and mashed. I fill up my socks with aha potatoes.
Potato, yes! Good, going.

Speaker 1 If you get your medical advice from TikTok, you've heard that the best way to cure a cold is to put a slice of raw potato on your sock before bed.

Speaker 1 I thought this was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard, but then someone explained, you're supposed to then put the socks on your feet.

Speaker 1 The theory is that pressing a cut potato against the skin draws out toxins from the body. But, according to a leading pediatrician interviewed by the Washington Post, that does not work.

Speaker 1 She said, quote, that would mean the virus would need to be drawn out of the blood through all of the tissue and skin and into the potato.

Speaker 1 At which point the reporter muttered, I'm sorry to waste your time and left.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Benjamin do in our quiz? Oh boy, did he do a good job? Perfect score.

Speaker 1 Well done, Benjamin. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 And good luck on finding

Speaker 1 that moment when you can sing and play the trumpet at the same time.

Speaker 8 It'll happen. I'm confident.

Speaker 1 I appreciate it. You guys have a good one.
You too. Take care.
Thank you.

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Speaker 1 Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Speaker 1 Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

Speaker 1 Rack them up. Roxanne and Paula each have three.
Brian has two. Okay.

Speaker 1 So let us say then that Brian, you're going to go first. first.
Brian, the clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, the last blank was minted in Philadelphia. Penny.
Right, on Tuesday, a federal judge ordered the release of over 600 people arrested during blank raids in Chicago. Ice.

Speaker 1 Right, this week, experts warned against President Trump's suggestion of boosting home sales by offering a 50-year blank. Mortgage?

Speaker 1 Right, despite the end of the government shutdown, experts are still warning of potential Thanksgiving blank delays. Turkey?

Speaker 1 Flight delays. On Thursday, unionized baristas across the country began a strike against Blank.
Starbucks.

Speaker 1 Right on Tuesday, solar storms meant that the Blanks were visible much further south than usual. Northern Lights.

Speaker 1 In what is definitely not a bad omen, a Blank was spotted during an oceanfront wedding in San Diego. Pack of sharks.
No, a sinking ship.

Speaker 1 Wedding photographers caught the sinking ship out in the water while the bride and groom were reciting their vows.

Speaker 1 Feels like a bad sign, but it's going to be amazing when the couple hit their 50th wedding anniversary and a bunch of kids on TikTok discover that sinking ship

Speaker 1 for the first time.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz? Very well. He got five right, ten more points, total of 12 and the lead.
All right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Paula, I'm going to select you to go next. Please fill in the blank.
On Wednesday, civil rights leader Blank was hospitalized in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Jesse Jackson. That's right.

Speaker 1 Jesse Jackson. In response to a buildup of U.S.
ships ships in the Caribbean Sea, Blank announced a massive military mobilization.

Speaker 5 Venezuela. Right.

Speaker 1 This week a new report found that 25% of American families are living blank check to blank check.

Speaker 5 Paycheck to paycheck.

Speaker 1 That's right. This week, a federal judge permanently barred the White House from sending blank troops to Portland.

Speaker 5 Military troops.

Speaker 1 Specifically from the National Guard. That's right.
This week, three men in New Jersey were arrested for planning a huge heist of blank.

Speaker 5 Huge. The Louvre guys.
They're going to rob from the Louvre guys.

Speaker 1 A huge heist of stuffed animals from a local amusement park. On Friday, the jackpot for the blank neared $1 billion.

Speaker 1 For the lottery. Right, this week police in Indiana had a major breakthrough in the case of a man covered in peanut butter running around a college campus because they discovered blank.

Speaker 5 A woman running around in jelly.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's actually like, that would be like the plot of such a great romantic comedy. They just keep missing each other, right? They were made for each other.

Speaker 1 No, what they discovered was that the man is actually covered in sunflower butter.

Speaker 1 For weeks, people at Purdue University have been looking for who they called peanut butter man after blurry videos showed a man covered in peanut butter wandering around campus like a sticky Bigfoot.

Speaker 1 But good news, police revealed he was a considerate sticky Bigfoot and was actually covered in hypoallergenic sunflower butter. He also identified the suspect, which was actually pretty easy.

Speaker 1 He was the one that the canine units could not stop licking.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Oh, we're running so close. She got five right, ten more points, total of 13.
Puts her one point in the lead. All right, so how many then?

Speaker 1 How many then does Roxanne need to win? Five to tie, six to win. All right, Roxanne, here we go.
This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

Speaker 1 On Monday, President Trump floated the idea of paying Americans $2,000 from the money collected for blanks. Terrorists.
Right.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, Jack Schlossberg, the grandson of Blank, announced he was running for Congress. John F.
Kennedy. Right.

Speaker 1 This week, the National Transportation Safety Board arrived in Louisville to determine the cause of a UPS blank crash. The plane crashed.

Speaker 1 Right, according to a new study, listening to music most days could help guard against a blank later in life. Dementia.
Right.

Speaker 1 This week, police in Canada said that the men who stole the bus and took it on a joyride there blanked.

Speaker 4 He made the scheduled stops.

Speaker 1 Yes, he did a great job driving, didn't vent the bus, picked up all the passengers. He did a good job.
On Monday, soccer superstar Cristiano Reynaldo said the 2026 blank will be his last. World Cup.

Speaker 1 Right. On Thursday, Bad Bunny performed at the Latin Blank Awards.
Grammy. Right, police in Ireland searching for a possibly escaped lion instead found blank.

Speaker 4 They found a dog with a lion haircut.

Speaker 1 You're exactly right. Wow.

Speaker 1 They had reports of a lion-like animal roaming the woods, so the Irish police searched for it and they found instead a very friendly dog named Mouse who had just had his fur shaved to resemble a lion's mane.

Speaker 1 We are not sure who gave it that haircut and why, but the phrase an Irish lion was actually a dog named Mouse sounds like a mnemonic device for remembering a group of regional lakes.

Speaker 1 Bill, did Roxanne do as well as I thought she did? She's off the scale, eight right. 16 more points.
19 wins.

Speaker 1 She came, she saw, she did what she usually does.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the Pope's favorite movie of 2026.

Speaker 1 But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Speaker 1 Philip Godeka, writes R. Limericks.
Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane Addonal.
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studio Baker Theater.

Speaker 1 BJ Lederman, Composer, Atheme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Drumboss, and Lillian in Your Long Shadow King. Special thanks to Mohaned El-Sheikhi and Monica Hickey.

Speaker 1 This week, Tallulah will be playing the role of Peter Gwynn. Our visual host is Emma Choi, technical directionalism Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Speaker 1 Our senior senior producer is Ian Chillock. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Cablemit.
Danforth.

Speaker 1 What will be the Pope's favorite movie next year, Brian Babylon? Are you there, God? It's me, Leo.

Speaker 1 I can see why he'd like that one. Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 4 Dirty Dancing Three Vatican Nights.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Paula Poundstone.

Speaker 5 Southside Popeye, the story of the Pope of the People who fixes his own car.

Speaker 1 Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Dunk Welcome. Thank you, Bill Curtis.
Thanks for listening to Brian Babylon, Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 1 Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Breaker Theater in beautiful downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you may be.
I'm Peter Sagan.

Speaker 1 We'll see you next week.

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