WWDTM: Andy Richter

This message comes from Total Wine and More. The holidays are here, filled with gatherings and cheer.
Make every moment shine with Total Wine and More. Find what you love and love what you find.

Spirits not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly.
Be 21.

Hey, it's Peter Sagalo. A quick word before we get to the show.

Now, all week you may have been hearing appeals around Giving Tuesday, you know, that day of generosity where people get to feel good about themselves.

Well, maybe last, but I hope not least, here's another one from me. Because as of October 1st, NPR is now operating without any federal support for the first time in our more than 50-year history.

So yeah, it's a big challenge, but it's one we can take on together.

Listeners have already been stepping up to donate, like Mary from Minnesota, who says, I love listening to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me to help me calm down from all the news I hear during the week.

Mary, we make the show for the same reason. Or Maria from Washington State who says, wait, wait, don't tell me is my life force.

Ooh. So you know, you can be like Mary and Maria and help keep the NPR Life Force going.
You can do that by signing up for NPR Plus.

It's a simple recurring donation that gets you perks to NPR's podcasts and bonus episodes like our exclusive quiz game for WaitWait Plus listeners. Now, if you've already joined, thank you so much.

If not, go to plus.npr.org. Thanks again for your support.
Now, on to the life force that is our show.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz.

Hey there, Arizona. I'm Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis, who is somewhere in the desert on a vision quest.

And here's your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo.
Thank you, everybody.

Thank you, Phoenix. It is so wonderful to be back here.

Now, you know how they say you should dance as if no one is watching. Andy Richter just danced while everyone in the world was watching him on Dancing with the Stars.

Later on, we're going to ask him about becoming, as one judge put it, the people's princess.

Right now, it's your turn to compete. Give us a call.
The number is 188-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on.
Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hey there, this is Liz calling from Chicago, Illinois. Hey, Liz, how are things back in Chicago?

It's very cold, Peter. I'm jealous that you're in sunny Phoenix, Arizona.

Let's back up a little bit. How cold is it there?

It's like four degrees, I think. Four degrees.
Wow.

Wow. These people in Arizona didn't even know that was possible.

Well, Liz, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to this week's panel.
First off, she's a writer and a comedian who most recently wrote for Clean Slate. It's available on Amazon.

It's Shantira Jackson. Hi, Liz.

Hey, Shantira.

Next, he is the host of the long-running daily podcast TBTL, as well as the public radio variety show LiveWire, which will be live at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon, on December 11th.

It's Luke Burbank. Hey there, Liz.

Hey, Luke.

And finally, a comedian you can see December 10th and 11th at Dead Crow Comedy in Wilmington, North Carolina, or a New Year's Eve at Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina.

It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Liz.

Alonzo.

So, Liz, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time.
Alzo Slade filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. You expected that.

If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail. Liz, are you ready to do this? Let's do it.

Okay, your first quote is the Secretary of Transportation, Sean Duffy, this week. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas.

With holiday travel coming up, Duffy was telling Americans to stop dressing like slobs while they do what?

While they fly. Exactly on airplanes.

Sean Duffy.

In charge of improving our transportation system says Americans need to start dressing better on airplanes. This sucks.

My only fancy shoes are made of bombs.

So Duffy apparently blames this epidemic of terrible behavior we've been seeing on planes on people's sloppy clothes.

He is calling for a return to the golden age of air travel where people dressed up, you could smoke on the plane next to any pregnant lady you liked, and your plane had a one-in-three chance of being hijacked to Cuba.

Which, by the way, might be an upgrade right now. It's true.

I don't know if he's flown lately,

but I can't fight in a tuxedo.

You get on a plane, you got to be ready for action. That's terrible.

Some guys are ready to go at you. You're like, wait, I got to take the studs out of my sleeves.
Exactly. You don't know what's going on on the plane.

Like, if you're on spirit and you're not ready for action,

then that's your own fault.

Well, he got the suit to bury him in. He's wearing it right now.

It's dangerous up here. People are reclining their seat well over three inches.

Well, all I know is that my nicest clothes are my biggest clothes.

So it's like, if you got a big dress on, you got a nice suit on, it's like a lot of clothes. And I don't know if you've been on a plane lately, but my nicest clothes, I'm not going to

be able to sit down on Southwest if I got on a nice dress.

You know what your nicest clothes dredged through Biscoff cookie

I think if five guys get on a plane in suits, everyone's going to be nervous. That's true.

That's also true.

What's going on? Who are they transporting? What's about to happen?

All right, here is your next quote. They want to block out the sun.
What could go wrong? That was the headline of the Washington Post about the growing movement.

to block out the sun, to actually block the sun in order to slow what?

Global warming. Global Global warming, climate change, that's right.

You can applaud not for global warming, but because she got it right.

A number of billionaires, including Bill Gates, are funding research and projects to block out the sun, a plan endorsed by climate scientists and mad scientists.

And speaking as someone who has never seen a single movie, this sounds like a great idea.

The technology is called solar geoengineering, and it works by injecting reflective particles high into the atmosphere, which sends, if it works, the sun's rays towards other planets.

So it's your problem now, Venus.

Are you sure it's not like a giant umbrella? that comes out of the top of an island shaped like a human skull where Jeff Bezos lives in the eye socket?

Because I feel like that's the movie version of this. Really, we're just being ruled by Bond villains.
I mean, it's amazing. We humans, we are astounding creatures.

All we have to do to save our only planet is like build windmills and bicycle more.

And we're all like, nah, let's kill the sun.

Well, as someone who lived in LA for 40 years, from 80 to 2024, and I was there when we had particles blocking out the sun. Yeah.

Didn't work too well.

You inhale those particles, and there was a lot involved. I'm scared of any plan that Marjorie Taylor Greene would say.
That makes sense. Yeah, exactly.

Bill Gates, by the way, one of the reasons this is in the news, is Bill Gates has come out as someone who is trying to fund these particular scientific efforts to block the sun after failing in his plan to block the Ecstene files.

So I wonder what their plan is. What are you going to have to pay for sunlight? Because you know that's like, they'll block out the sun and, like, oh, you want a sunny weekend?

Well, that's going to cost you some money.

You don't know it's going to have to be a subscription deal. You don't want the sun back.
You don't have the sun. You don't have the premium plan?

You don't keep your sunlight. I'm sorry.
I will be honest. I don't think that white people are going to pay for more sun.
No.

I might pay for some sun, but I don't think they're going to pay for sun.

All right, Jen, here is your last quote. It is from the owner of a new karaoke bar.
It's like an Instagram filter for your voice.

She was talking about what technology that is now being added to the karaoke experience. Is that going to be auto-tune? It is going to be auto-tune.

According to the New York Times, karaoke is going upscale with nicer spaces and lounges, and yes, many of them will provide auto-tune for your singing.

Come on, we already have technology to make anybody good at karaoke. It's called drinking five cores lights.

What's going to happen to T-Pang? That's a good question. Oh, buddy.

They're going to take his whole thing. People are going to be doing his greatest hits in karaoke.
It's great. No, the real question is: what's going to happen to J-Lo?

Oh, don't worry, Alzo. J-Lo will be all right.

Nobody was listening to J-Lo.

All right.

No, I, Peter, as someone who agrees with the description of karaoke as the Japanese revenge for World War II,

I have no desire to hear people who can't sing sing. Like,

there are so many people who can sing. I'm going to go ahead and listen to them.
You think?

Peter, I love you. You're a great guy.
You're brilliant. I don't want to hear you sing.
I do. No, you don't.
I think everyone here does. Yes.

I think the billion-dollar idea with karaoke is not even an auto-tune, it's in editing the songs so it's just the good part. Yeah.
Here's what I I want to hear.

Just a small town girl living in a lonely world and then cut to the don't stop believing and then get off the stage. Right.
I don't need all the in-between stuff.

I had no idea how much in-between stuff there was in songs until they invented karaoke. Someone needs to edit the songs into just being like two minutes.

Luke, that in-between stuff, they call those lyrics.

There's a word for that.

I'm not a trained musician. This is the first time hearing of this.
By the way, like, this is part of an entire movement to make karaoke more upscale, right?

This is true. Some luxury apartment buildings, part of their amenities, a dedicated karaoke room.
That would make me move out. Right.

I think it was Sean Duffy who said we just have to dress better for karaoke. We got a little.

Really improved the experience. Alzo, how did Liz do in our quiz? She did amazing.
Three out of three.

There you go, Liz. Congratulations.

Thank you guys so much for making making it. Thank you.
Liz, it's been great to have you. Stay warm and we'll see you when we're back in Chicago in April.

Sounds good. Bye-bye.

Right now, panel that it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Luke, at a cabinet meeting this week, after blasting the media for claiming he was showing signs of fatigue, President Trump did what?

Gently dozed off. He did.

He had a little nappy.

In the same meeting where he complained the media was unfairly criticizing him for seeming tired, Donald Trump fell asleep a number of times.

It's not surprising, no disrespect, but the man looks like what if a CPAP machine came to life.

I have to say though, to me, this is what makes him relatable.

He goes into cabinet meetings with the confidence I have when I say, sure, it's 8.30, but absolutely, honey, we can start a whole movie right now.

I mean, falling asleep at work is a real American thing to do. It really is.
Yeah, I mean, I just woke up five minutes ago.

To be fair to the president, he does have an absolute good excuse why he's so tired. Every night this year,

when he tries to go to sleep, he's visited by three ghosts

who start by saying, Okay,

let's try this again.

Coming up, our panelists approach the bench in our bluffed listener game called 188, Wait, Wait to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

This message comes from Cook Unity. The holidays are here, which means it's time for comfort, joy, and really good food.

Enjoy culinary masterpieces for way less than restaurants takeout or the grocery store. Menus are updated weekly so meals are never boring or repetitive.

Taste comfort and craftsmanship in every bite from the award-winning chefs behind Cook Unity. Go to cookunity.com slash wait or enter code wait before checkout to get 50% off your first order.

This message comes from Grammarly. They have features that are tailor-made for working professionals, so you can get all your writing done from start to finish, all in one place.

Grammarly is designed to help professionals with real-time writing support on any project, email, and more.

Sign up for free and experience how Grammarly can elevate your professional writing from start to finish. Visit Grammarly.com slash podcast.
That's Grammarly.com/slash podcast.

This message comes from Whole Foods Market. Make every holiday party shine with Whole Foods Market.

Hosting, stock up on their Wallet Happy 365 brand with appetizers like Walnut Honey Shrimp and Breaded Calamari. Plus, save now on crowd-pleasing bone-in spiral cut ham with no antibiotics ever.

For dessert, check out limited-time treats like their holiday rum cake. With so many ways to save on festive spreads all month long, shop Whole Foods Market today.
Terms apply.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade.
We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Alonzo Bowden, and Shantira Jackson.

And here again is your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagor. Thank you, Alzo.
Thank you, everybody.

Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game. Call 1888, Wait, Wait to play our game on the air.
Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Nick Smith.

I'm calling in from Los Alamos, New Mexico. Los Alamos, New Mexico?

Dare I ask,

what do you do there at that famous place?

I am a staff scientist in the Nuclear Engineering and Non-Proliferation Division at Los Alamos National Laboratory.

Wait a minute, so you work at Los Alamos National Laboratory, which famously helped make the first atomic bomb, but you work in non-proliferation? That's correct.

I work on securing the back end of the fuel cycle for radioactive waste and use nuclear fuel to make sure it's safely and securely disposed. Okay.
Nick, could you also hide the codes?

Just for a while.

Please.

Well Nick, it is nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.
Alzo, what is Nick's topic? I object. So you have to get out your gavels.

This week, we heard about some disorder in a court. Our panel is going to tell you about some courtroom chaos in the news we found this week.
Pick the panelist who's telling the truth.

You'll win the waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am am indeed.
All right, first let's hear from Shantira Jackson.

Jailhouse Rock took on a whole new meeting in a Missouri courtroom when the longest-serving circuit judge in St. Charles County, Judge Matthew E.P.

Thornhill, was forced off the bench because of his uncontrollable enthusiasm for Elvis Presley.

According to disciplinary records, Judge Thornhill would often wear plastic Elvis wigs along with his robes, offer witnesses the chance to swear on an Elvis song instead of the Bible, and constantly referencing Elvis' songs in his remarks from the bench.

Judge Thornhill claimed that he was just trying to add some levity to the proceedings because nothing is better than walking out in handcuffs to a little less conversation, a little more action.

The judge loved Elvis so much that he even wrote in his bio that, quote, if I just had Elvis' hair, I'd be unstoppable. Well, he doesn't have Elvis' hair, and he was stopped.

After a six-month suspension, he will retire. So like Elvis, he is probably going to have a pretty blue Christmas.

A judge forced from the bench only because of his enthusiasm for Elvis Presley, your next courtroom drama comes from Alonzo Bowden.

Bill Savoy is an institution in upstate New York, an umpire for generations of little league players, which might explain what happened when he went to court with a property dispute according to the Syracuse Post standard.

Mr. Savoy claimed his neighbor built her fence a foot over the property line.
The neighbor had a surveyor's map, but Savoy said, quote, a blind man could see that that fence is in his garden, unquote.

It was then that Judge Michael Laz began his own line of questioning. Reminding Mr.

Savoy he was under oath, the judge asked him about a 3-2 pitch that bounced in the dirt in a game last summer that Mr. Savoy called a strike.

The judge then brought up a 3-0 pitch in the same game that the batter ducked to avoid, yet was also called a strike.

And then, quote, what about the time you called a runner out at the plate when the ball was still in the air?

Mr. Savoy meekly admitted that he may have missed a few calls.
The judge stated Mr. Savoy was obviously no expert in what a blind man could see

and ruled against him. Over in the gallery, the judge's son, Michael As Jr., star at the Syracuse Jr.
Mets, was observed to pump his fist and say, justice is a bitch, isn't it?

An umpire answers to a higher authority in court.

Your last discovery phase comes from Luke Burbank. Someone once said, every day the internet picks someone to focus on, and your job is to make sure that person is never you.

And yet, it's now happened twice to Rudy the bailiff of Contra Contra Costa, California. First when he was sworn in back in 2023 because you see Rudy is a nine-year-old slightly portly yellow lab.

Now that's dog gone justice, the New York Post wrote back in the day. However, the headlines were quite different last week when Rudy the Bailiff was caught up in a bribery scandal.

Also involving county prosecutor Daniel Noonan, who allegedly used begin strips in his pocket to get Rudy to bare his teeth and stare menacingly at witnesses the prosecutor wanted to intimidate.

When asked about it, Rudy the bailiff lowered his head and stared into the middle distance, refusing to answer further questions.

As of press time, he remains on paid leave, ELPO, and is standing in the corner of the courtroom being so damn pathetic, the grand jury almost can't even be mad at him anymore.

So here are your stories

of courtroom shenanigans from Shantira Jackson, a judge in Missouri forced off the bench because he just would not stop quoting Elvis Presley.

From Alonzo, an umpire answers to a judge who was not pleased with his on-field calls. Or from Luke Burbank, Rudy the bailiff, a dog bailiff involved in a bribery scandal.

Which of these is the real story of judicial mayhem? Well, I'm really moved by Alonzo's story, but I think I'm all shook up for Shantira's Elvis judge.

You mean the one about the guy who got into trouble by making unwelcome references to Elvis songs? That's the one I'm going with. I see.
All right.

Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to an expert.

Maybe if a school bus driver was into Elvis, that's fine. But a judge, totally inappropriate.
That was Stephen Leto, a lawyer with a YouTube channel.

Lato's law weighing in on the Missouri judge who was just a little

too Elvis-y. Congratulations, Nick.
You figured it out. You got it right.

You're in depth for Shantira just for telling the truth, and you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Congratulations.
Thanks, Peter. Appreciate it.
Thank you.

Take care.

Goodbye. Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job.

We were delighted to see our friend Andy Richter on this season of Dancing with the Stars, in which he inspired a whole lot of supporters online to call call themselves

fanies.

He and his dance partner Emma Slater lasted far longer than most expected into the competition with Andy being dubbed by the judges the People's Princess.

We are delighted Her Highness could join us here on stage in Phoenix. Andy Richter, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, thank you.

So and I should say, it wasn't the judges. It wasn't the judges.
It was just somebody online started calling me the People's Princess. Okay.
Yeah, which is incredibly flattering. It really is.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah. And I really am hoping for a tiara for Christmas.
Why not? So I have to ask,

Dancing with the Stars has been around for a while. Had you always wanted to be on it?

No, quite the opposite.

It always seemed like a terrifying prospect.

And then I didn't work very much for a little while, and it seemed kind of a good idea. Yeah, really.

Did you seek them out? Did they call you? No, no, I got it. It was way back in April.

I got an email from my agent saying, you know, they've offered you this. And I've told this before, my first instinct was, say no and don't tell my wife that they asked.
Right.

Like, just because, you know.

And then

a minute later, I felt like, I have to do this. And so I said yes.

And then as it got closer, I just thought, oh, I've made a terrible mistake.

Tell me about your dance experience and expertise before this all began.

I'll just tell it to you in an anecdote that my wife reminded me of when I said yes to Dancing with the Stars.

For our wedding, my only requirement for our dance was that the song be the shortest one possible. Right.

Because I just,

I wasn't comfortable. I mean,

I can dance

with some drinks at a party. What was the song? Was it like the boot-up tone from Microsoft Windows? What was it? Brian Eno.

It's done. Yeah, it was just, it was my ringtone.
Yeah.

No, you know what? Oh my God, I don't remember. You don't remember.
Peter, how dare you set Andy Richter up that way on national radio? I listened to this, and I'm not.

Oh, what a jerk I am. So I guess what I'm saying is.
In many other ways, I'm an excellent husband, just not now.

We found it right away. And so what was the preparation? So like you show up, you say, I've been to the gym, I've been doing my cardio.
Yeah.

You start dancing.

You start being taught a routine. Did you get assigned a partner in your case? Yes, Emma? I was lucky enough to get Emma Slater,

who is an angel and really an amazingly talented person, an amazing choreographer. She understood me.
She understood how to teach me. Right.
Because

I don't enjoy being pushed.

The hard line kind of thing, I just say, F this, goodbye. So I need to be treated, you know, and also she's very fun.
And she also,

part of her genius, was that she said, oh, and by the way, every day we're going to make two or three TikToks. Uh-huh.

And I said, okay, just because I was saying okay to everything at that point.

And

we started doing them. I didn't understand them.
I was saying things like, wait, we're just doing what someone else has already done? We're not doing anything different.

You're just doing the whatever you're doing. Yeah, we're just doing this.
And she said, yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, shouldn't we put a twist on it? She's like, no, just do it.

All right, and we just do it. And I, very quickly,

she would point and say, look how many views this got. And I'd be like, 1.3 million? Right.
Like, that's what? And this is...

That number has never been connected to me other than for taxation purposes.

And this... So I watched...
a lot of your dances, and I'm saying this with complete love and respect, speaking as a man that for good reason has not danced in public for 25 years, but

it kind of seemed like your job was to stand still and watch with amazement while your partner did amazing dance moves sort of around you.

I will

get candy. Don't let him do you like that.
But, yeah, but

wow.

But, but, and here was the charming part: you made a lot of very expressive faces as you watched her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You make it sound like, I mean, you weren't entirely.

I moved moved from one point to the other, and there was footwork that I had to remember. Really? Yeah.
Yes!

Yes!

I'm not saying I was great,

but I danced. You dance.

We believe you. We believe you.
There were people online too that say he just walks around. I'm like, what do you think dancing is?

It's not syncopated walking.

Hey, Peter. Do you expect me to fly?

Yes, I'll say. Peter, I really do think if Andy wasn't dressed as nicely as he is, he would kick your ass out.

But that would, wasn't that part of, I mean, wasn't that part of the appeal of town? Well, there's certainly, they've had people on that show who are outright elderly. So yeah,

they're not going to kill them, you know?

And there always is kind of an aspect. And I was the oldest person there.
So yeah, I'm not going to be doing a lot of flips and stuff.

But I certainly did learn to waltz. I learned to cha-cha

a foxtrot. You know, I pulled off a foxtrot.
So, yeah. Yeah, right.
And thank you.

Thank you.

And I, and it, by the end, too, I was, with each new week's dance, I would learn it in one rehearsal. It was like

one research. Yeah, yeah.

I can remember, yeah. Wow.

You sort of learned it.

Thank you. Yeah, no,

I would think, I thought of it as like between my head and my feet there was no wiring and or it had crusted over or something. And that by the time we were finished, the wiring was there.

And I mean, I was never,

I tried to emulate the real dancers because I would do the dance that we were doing that week and think, I really nailed that one. I really got it.

And then we would look, because we'd record it on our phones, and I'd look at it on the phone. I'm like, look at that old man stomping around,

waving his arms. Yeah, I just was like, it doesn't, when I do it, it does not look like the way the dancers do, you know.
It's funny how that.

And I would try to, I tried, you know, in different times to sort of emulate the sort of more sort of fluid movements. And it's, you know,

as I said, I was a rhino in a gazelle contest.

I'm never going to be a gazelle. There you go, the people's princess.
Well, Andy, Richter, it is always such a pleasure to have you on our show.

And as always, we'd like you to play a game that this time we are calling Gotta Dance.

So given your performance on Dancing with the Stars, we thought we'd ask you about somebody who was really good at dancing, Gene Kelly.

Answer two or three questions about the legendary song and Dance Man, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Andy Richter playing for this time?

Firma and Barry Kitness of Prescott, Arizona.

Nice. Not far from locals.
Locals, absolutely. Are they here? I don't know.
Are you here?

No.

No.

Apparently Apparently not that big a fan. No.

All right, ready? Here's your first question. Gene Kelly went from being a dance instructor in Pittsburgh to one of the biggest movie stars of all time.
What was among his many secrets of success?

A, custom-made, motorized tap shoes.

B, pants that were one size too small to accentuate his butt. Or C, whatever the music you heard watching him on screen, on set he was always dancing to the same song, home on the range

uh I think it's the butt pants you're right yeah and if you've ever seen him you'd know that's true not only did he have his pants made a little tight he would sometimes make sure his male co-stars pants were a little loose okay

Kelly went on after his own career on screen to be a director he directed the movie Hello Dolly

and the star of that film, Michael Crawford, said that he got the part after Kelly said which of these to him. Was it A, quote, you remind me of a young me before I knew how to dance.

B, quote, we can shoot somebody with talent from the waist down and edit it in. Or C, quote, we're looking for an attractive idiot.
My wife thinks you're attractive and I think you're an idiot.

Boy.

I think maybe the third one, I think.

Yeah, about the wife and the idiot. You're right.
You know this business. You know these people.
That's exactly what he said.

And he is kind of an attractive idiot in the film, so it works out. All right, last question.
You can be perfect here.

Gene Kelly and his wife hosted these massive parties for his famous friends in Beverly Hills, and a mainstay of those parties was what?

A, Kelly's toe-tap and punch, which was just, as it turned out, grain alcohol and red food coloring.

B, Kelly challenging any guest there for the first time to a dance-off,

or C, a cutthroat version of charades that could last for 24 hours straight.

It's got to be the charades. It is the charades, Andy.
A man who's been to his Hollywood parties. 24 hours? 24 hours, it was sometimes, it was called, it was known as the game.
Yeah.

We're going to play the game. Wow.
Yeah, true story. Alzo, how did Andy Richter do in our quiz? He danced his way to a perfect score, three out of three.
You did.

Thank you.

There you go.

Andy Richter was the people's princess on this year's run of Dancing with the Stars.

He is the host of The Three Questions with Andy Richter podcast, which airs Mondays on the Sirius XM app or wherever you might get your podcast. Please give it up to our friend Andy Richter.

Thanks so much. Andy, thank you so much for being with us.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks so much.

In just a minute, Alzo has a warning for plant lovers everywhere in our listener limerick challenge call 188 WaitWait to join us on the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

This message comes from Sony Pictures Classics. From Sony Pictures Classics and Fathom Entertainment, Merrily We Roll Along.
Three best friends through two decades of time.

Directed by Maria Friedman, starring Jonathan Groff, Daniel Radcliffe, and Lindsey Mendez, by legendary composer Stephen Sondheim, and winner of four Tony Awards.

Merrily we roll along, playing only in theaters starting December 5th.

This message comes from Whole Foods Market. Make every holiday party shine with Whole Foods Market.

Hosting, stock up on their Wallet Happy 365 brand with appetizers like walnut honey shrimp and breaded calamari. Plus, save now on crowd-pleasing bone-in spiral cut ham with no antibiotics ever.

For dessert, check out limited-time treats like their holiday rum cake. With so many ways to save on festive spreads all month long, shop Whole Foods Market today.
Terms apply.

This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees.

Join millions of customers and visit wise.com. T's and C's apply.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade.
We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Alonzo Bowden, and Shantira Jackson.

And here again is your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo.

In just a minute,

our delicious limericks get three Misha Lim stars

in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, or, you know, if you just love us, give us a call at 1888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shantera, there is a new kind of party to go to where you get together with your friends for a hot night of what?

Watching Dancing with the Stars. No, I wish.

Here's your hint. Bring your party dress, your outstanding bills, and your shoebox of receipts.
Oh,

you do your taxes. Yeah, you do paperwork.
Yeah. This new trend is paperwork parties, or as one Wall Street Journal columnist calls it, admin night.

This is a party that really tests the age-old theory that anything can be fun if you drink enough.

But if you do drink, be careful. You don't want to wake up the next morning like, oh, man, what did I deduct last night?

Do you have to do your own paperwork? Because there's some paperwork I like and some paperwork I don't. Can we swap? What's the paperwork you like?

I like filling out my airport stuff.

You do? Yeah, I like to see how many points I can get from stuff on my credit card.

So yeah, like if there was an option, is this like a taxation like swingers party?

Pretty much, yeah. Everybody throws their stuff at a fish.
I put our keys in a bowl and you do my paperwork. Exactly.
So the idea you see is like everybody has to do all of this.

Everybody's dealing with credit cards and accounts and online stuff and it's a pain in the butt so why don't everybody get together and you can help each other.

Oh, I know the number to talk to a real person at this company. You swap it.
I think that's called the office. Yeah.

When you get together with a group of people and do something unfun until you're done with it. No, no, no, this is great.

It's a great way to like, you and your friends can support each other, you can pool your knowledge, and it's a great way to find out which of your friends are drowning in debt.

Luke, a remarkable new study suggests that children's health will be affected if their mother smells what while she's pregnant.

Is this something that generally is thought to be dangerous or

a smell that is generally thought to be very

lovely as long as you're not a vegetarian? Ah. Or kosher, I guess.

Okay, bacon. Yes, bacon.

Child's health, future well-being can be affected if their mother smells bacon while they are pregnant with that child. So we know eating bacon is bad.
Now even smelling bacon can change your life.

The study shows that if the mother only smells bacon, her offspring are more likely in life to become obese.

This is because chemical signals can be transferred to the developing fetus, which goes, oh yeah, first thing I do when I get out of here is get me some of that.

Is this an American study?

Because if it is, I don't think that's the problem. Remember, we've also fired a lot of the scientists in this country.
That's true. Also, women, when you're pregnant,

I don't know, but I do know a lot of people who've been pregnant. You only have so much.
Do not take bacon away from pregnant women.

They need it.

Really, honestly, they might kill you if you try.

Alonzo, this week we learned about the newest trendy appliance for your home. It's a washing machine, but it's specifically designed to clean what?

Wow. Not your clothes.
Not your dishes. It's a washing machine for something besides clothes and dishes.

Your pickleball paddle.

Be careful, this is Arizona.

Most of these people moved here to play more pickleball. That's why I said it.
You got to keep that paddle clean. Can you give me a hint? Sure, the shampoo and body wash pods are sold chepidly.

Oh, to wash your body? Yes. They're human washing machines.

It's a new invention by a Japanese electronics company called Yamata, and it looks like a spa bed, sort of, and it uses micro bubbles and steam mist to provide a full body clean in just 15 minutes of operation.

It's amazing. That only takes 10 minutes longer than a shower.
Think of the time you'll lose.

This sounds to me like putting you through a car wash. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, just zip it up. Which let's all be honest, we all dream of, right? Yeah, I still do.

I will say though, you know, with the relaxing warm water jets and gentle scrubbing, it's more like a human laundry machine, you know, than a dishwasher, which means it will be great until it gets to the spin cycle.

Yeah.

You wash yourself on too hot, you come out, you're like a child.

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 188-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago.
And come see us on the road. We will be in Bloomington, Indiana, on February 26th.

For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. And if you like our show but not enough to watch it for more than just a few seconds, check us out on TikTok at WaitWait NPR.

Hi, you're on WaitWait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Katie from Norman, Oklahoma.
Hey, okay, Norman, Oklahoma. What do you do there for fun in Norman? Pottery? Pottery.
Play and play with my dog.

Pottery and play with your dogs. Do you throw pots?

Not for the dogs, not yet. Not yet, okay, yes.

Welcome to our show, Katie.

Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to go? Yep.
Here is your first limerick.

All these house plants are meant to impress, but I'd like to be doing much less. Fresh water, fresh soil, and pruning is toil.
It's raising my levels of...

Stress? Right. Turns out that too many plants in your house can stress you out.
It makes sense. Plants are great until you get back from a trip and you realize, oh,

they don't water themselves while I'm gone. Researchers at Stanford invited volunteers to do difficult work in rooms with different amounts of house plants and then noted their level of stress.

Turns out the optimum amount of houseplants is enough to fill 20% of your field of vision.

If you're seeing plants everywhere you look, right, you start thinking, oh man, how the hell am I supposed to put all those plants through plant college?

And plants taking up a hundred percent of your field of view is very stressful because you realize you blacked out and woke up naked in the woods again. Yeah, exactly.
You are in the Amazon. Exactly.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to live in a greenhouse. You'd be weird.
Unless you're grown weed.

That'd be good.

In which case, you got a place to hang out. Yeah, yeah.
All right, here is your next limerick. Confused as to what the attacks meant, the lion pride followed the tracks sent.

What the other pride spoke, they took as a joke, because their roar had a regional

bent. Not bent.
It's a two-syllable answer, rhymes with tax meant, tracks sent.

Accent. Yes, there you are.

Scientists have discovered that lion roars have different accents depending on where the lion is from, and furthermore, they think this might be what the hyenas have been laughing at.

If you want to hear a great accent, meet a Scottish lion. Roar!

I think lion roars all sound the same behind you. Yes, exactly.

You don't worry about where that lion is from.

Is that one of those Westside lions by the Easy?

All right, here's your last limerick. Dogs with underbites look around smugly.
Because they look weird, we humans act snugly. Sleek dogs with much grace are losing first place.

We all want a dog that is

ugly. Ugly, yes, ugly dogs are in.

According to the Wall Street Journal, when once high-status dogs were like the golden retrievers or Afghans, now, quote, at the end of every second leash lurks a rat with an overbite or a pope-eyed goblin, unquote.

Which is also why so many vets are saying to dog owners, Yeah, don't know how to tell you this, but there's really no need to spare neuter this one.

Nature's got it covered. Really? The journal described one very currently popular breed, the Chinese crested,

as, quote, a dog that got left in the microwave.

So if you really want a dog that's on trend, get one that's so ugly, other dogs keep going up and sniffing its face.

I feel like a cat wrote this.

This is right up a cat's alley. The Wall Street Journal is entirely staffed by cats, yes.
I mean, these days, maybe.

So do you compliment someone on how ugly their dog is? Well, they have ugly dog contests. They have an ugliest dogs contest, yeah.
Well, then, I guess you do. And how do you suggest that to them? Hey,

we really love Mr. Freckles, but I see a future for him in ugly dog contests.

What you say is, you know, as long as you love it. Yes.

As long as you love it. Oh, your dog.
It's got such a lovely personality.

Alzo, how did Katie do in our quiz? She got three out of three. Perfect score.
Congratulations, Katie. Well done.

Thank you so much for playing. Thanks.
Bye. Bye-bye.

This message comes from ATT. ATT believes that hearing a voice can change everything.

Whether it's a favorite podcast, a saved voicemail, or a call with someone close, familiar voices can bring connection and comfort.

This holiday season, ATT encourages the sharing of voices through a call, a voicemail, or a voice note because every conversation can create lasting connections. Happy holidays from ATT.

Connecting changes everything.

Support for NPR and the following message come from Warby Parker, the one-stop shop for all your vision needs. They offer expertly crafted prescription eyewear, plus contacts, eye exams, and more.

For everything you need to see, visit your nearest Warby Parker store or head to warbyparker.com. This message comes from Greenlight.
Don't wait to protect your legacy.

Greenlight, trusted by millions of families, helps you protect what's yours with Family Shields account monitoring, alerts, and 911 dispatched crash detection.

Learn more at greenlight.com/slash protect.

Now, on to our final game. Let me fill in the blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Of course.
Alonzo and Luke are tied up at two, with Shantira in the lead with three.

Okay.

Hey, Shantira, the Shantira stands are excited. We'll see how long it lasts.
All right. Let's arbitrarily pick Alonzo to go first.
You're tied for second, so here we go.

The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank, Alonzo.
On Wednesday, the Department of Homeland Security began blank raids in Minnesota and Louisiana. Ice.
Right.

On Monday, Costco sued the U.S., seeking a full refund of President Trump's blanks. Tariff.
Right. This week, heavy rainstorms caused dangerous blanks in Indonesia, Thailand, and Malaysia.
Floods.

Right, and landslides. According to meteorological data, parts of the U.S.
will soon face the blankest weather of the season. Coldest.

Right, this week, Zoran Mandani in the Louvre topped the list for 2025's blanks.

People of the year? No, 2025's most mispronounced words.

On Sunday, Leo XIV arrived in Beirut as part of his first trip abroad since being named blank.

Pope. Right, on Monday, one of the last privately owned blank eggs sold for over $30 million at auction.
Fabergé.

Right, this week, a politician in Namibia legally changed his name so that he will no longer be called by his birth name blank.

Namibia? No, he will no longer be known by his birth name Adolf Hitler Uunona. Oh dang.
Why would you give that up? Yeah, I don't know.

You're the only one. I mean,

first of all, you get the Hotmail account. True, yeah.
Nobody else has taken that. How long did it take him to decide?

He is a grown man, Adolf Hitler Uunona, who's been part of the government there since 2004, says his parents gave him the name without understanding the historical significance behind it and now he's happy he will no longer be known as Adolf Hitler Uunona and is excited to run for re-election under his new legal name Adolf Hitler Williams.

Alzo, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? He did all right. He got six right for 12 points which gives him a total of 14 and the lead.
Well done. All right.

Luke, you are up next. Please fill in the blank.
On Tuesday, top U.S. officials met with Vladimir Putin to discuss an end to the war in Blank.
Ukraine. Right.

On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that Blank could use their gerrymandered congressional map. Texas.
Right. This week, House Democrats released photos and videos of Blank's private island.
Epstein.

Right. On Tuesday, the GOP won a special election in Blank, but by narrower margins than expected.
Virginia? No, Tennessee.

Overwhelmed emergency rooms in England are begging people to stop coming to the ER for blank. Toothbrush lessons.
No hiccups. According to a new report, blank consumption is declining globally.

Alcohol. Right, on Friday, the first matchups of FIFA's 2026 Blank Cup were announced.
World. Right.

This week, animal control officers were called to a liquor store in Virginia after a raccoon broke in and blanked. Got drunk and trashed the place.
Pretty much. And passed out in the store's bathroom.

According to Animal Control, the raccoon had somehow managed to get into the store, sampled a lot of liquor, and then passed out, spread eagled, face down on the bathroom floor.

It was really freaking cute. It was pretty adorable.
Way cuter than when I do it. Yeah.

All right, Alzo, how did Luke do on our quiz? Well, Luke also got six right for 12 points, and now he is tied for the lead with Alonzo. All right, so then how many does Shantira need to win it all?

Shantira. Yeah.

Six to win, sis. All right.
Six to win. All right, here we go.
This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, GOP Representative Elise Stefanik questioned Blank's effectiveness as Speaker of the House.

Oh, what's his name, Johnson? Yes, Mike Johnson. On Thursday, the Admiral who oversaw one of the U.S.'s lethal blank strikes.
Oh, missile.

Boat strikes. Yeah, the Venezuelan.
Yeah, on Monday, AT ⁇ T said they were ending their blank initiatives.

DEI. Right, after a man in China's car started making weird sounds, mechanics discovered the noises were caused by blanks.
There was just a man in there sleeping.

No, 40 pounds of hazelnuts stuffed under the hood.

For the first time ever, the average price of a new blank rose above $50,000.

New cars, yes, on Wednesday, Spotify released the 2025 version of Users Blanks. It's like your Spotify list.
Yeah, your Spotify wrapped.

This week, a company that makes a device to play sounds like rushing water and birdsong to cover up bathroom noises announced their newest sound, Blank.

Your mother saying she loves you.

No, their new sound to cover up bathroom sounds is artillery fire.

The Royal Flush is a wall-mounted device that offers pleasing sounds of nature to cover up whatever else might be happening in there.

And it now features extra strength sounds, including artillery fire. Oh, man.

This explains why the last time you had a party at your house, one of your friends was like, hey, where's your bathroom? I got to go save Private Ryan.

Also, did Shantira do well enough to win?

Almost. She got five right for 10 more points, a total of 13, just one point shy of the fellas.
And that is how it always happens.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the number one song on everybody's Spotify rapped next

year.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Koteka writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane Adonald.
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Arizona Financial Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey.
Peter Gwynn is our gleep. Emma Choi is our vibe curator.

Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillog.

And the executive producer of wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mr. Michael Danforth.
Now, panel, looking forward to next year, what will be the top song on Spotify Rapt? Shantira Jackson.

Anything Beyonce does, please give us Act Three.

Luke Burbank. For some reason, hit the road, Jack.

And Alonzo Bowden.

I don't know what it is, but the conservatives will not approve of the song.

And if we hear any of those songs, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much, Alzo Slade.
Thanks also to Alonzo Bowden, Shantira Jackson, and Luke Burbank.

A very special thanks to everyone at KJZZ here in Phoenix and to our fabulous audience here at the Arizona Financial Theater. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be.
I'm Peter Saga.

We'll be back in Chicago next week. week.

This

is NPR.

Support for NPR and the following message come from HomeServe. It never happens at a good time.
The pipe bursts at midnight. The heater quits on the coldest night.

Good thing HomeServe's hotline is available 24-7. Call to schedule a repair and a local pro will be on their way.
Trusted by millions. For plans starting at $4.99 a month, go to homeeserve.com.

Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year.
Terms apply on covered repairs. This message comes from Wealthfront.

It's time your hard-earned money works harder for you.

With WealthFront's cash account, you earn a competitive APY on your cash from program banks higher than the average savings rate with free, instant withdrawals to eligible accounts.

Go to WealthFront.com. Cash account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, member FINRA SIPC, not a bank.
Funds are swept to program banks where they earn the variable annual percentage yield.

Support for NPR and the following message come from Home Serve. It never happens at a good time.
The pipe bursts at midnight. The heater quits on the coldest night.

Good thing Home Serve's hotline is available 24-7. Call to schedule a repair and a local pro will be on their way.
Trusted by millions. For plans starting at $4.99 a month, go to homeserve.com.

Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year.
Terms apply on covered repairs.