Get Free from Perfectionism | Live on Tour

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Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things.

Today

we are

Giving you the finale of our series of live episodes from the road from our We Can Do Hard Things tour.

We hope you've enjoyed this little glimpse into the joy and connection we felt being together with you for our 10 City book tour.

Being in those rooms with you all during this particular American moment moved me in ways that I am still processing and that are still

swirling inside of us as we decide what's next.

In today's episode, we sat in those rooms and had huge thousands of people in these family meetings.

That's what we did city by city across the country.

In today's episode, during these family meetings, we talked about how to stop hurting or not stop hurting when life just won't let up.

Perfectionism and the messy magic of just freaking making it all up as we go along.

We're ending this one in Minneapolis.

It was Abby and my wedding anniversary.

I knew that because my dad texted me that morning to remind me.

And then I googled it to verify it that it was true.

Abby surprised me by asking me to renew our vows on stage in front of thousands of people, knowing how much I

love

big public displays of affection.

Anyway, you'll just have to listen to see how that freaking went.

But I was there supported by you, the Minneapolis pod squad, and I'm told we made it through together.

I'm not sure.

I dissociated.

We hope you enjoy it.

Awkward.

Okay,

so this is the part of the event that we take it to the people.

Yes.

So we want to know if you all all have things that you would like to see.

Can we bring up the house lights just a touch?

So you can see each other a little bit.

Can you pop out to the aisle and then ask the question from there?

Hi, guys.

Hi!

Well, I love you all so much, obviously.

Me and my wife are actively right now trying to have a baby.

Congratulations.

You guys helped me with my coming out.

I came out right when I found your guys' podcast.

So thank you.

My question is,

what is one piece of advice you would give us for us to give our child?

In parenting your child or what you want your child to know?

Whatever you want.

I like her.

Okay.

Do you have anything?

I don't know what mom might what we would want our child to know.

Okay.

If somebody were to tell me this before I became an instant mom,

boom, you have three children.

Okay.

I was like, I'm going to do this.

I got this.

I got gold medals.

Like, this is...

This is fine.

This is the only true thing I really know about parenting.

Nobody knows what they're doing.

You're going to make it up for you and you're going to find things that work.

You're going to find things that don't work.

you're gonna have the baby.

The baby is gonna change ages within a day, and

the baby's gonna hate the thing that they loved yesterday.

And it's just like making it up as you go along.

That's it, that's current thing in a nutshell.

You're welcome.

You got anything?

I got some things.

I think you should expect

your child to

absolutely break you.

The end.

But go with God.

But like, break you

in

the way that is most painful for you because it is the way you need to be broken.

Yes.

My son totally changed me because I'm like, type B, this is what we're going to do, the thing, be super respectful and get the good grades.

And

no, we weren't.

We were not going to do that, not one time.

And I think that had my children been reversed,

Had my daughter been first,

I would still be playing the game.

Like, I would be like, there's a way to do this, and people act a certain way, and bad kids are over here.

You know, like, you're leaking.

If you can play the game, it's tempting to play.

What I needed to learn is that the game is bullshit.

And

so, what I'm saying is that was real hard for me.

And I, now that I look in the past and look at it, I'm like, thank you.

Like, he was the only one that could have done it to me because I love him so much, even though he is so difficult.

And,

but I had to surrender that.

And now I'm like, oh my god, you're so great.

You're insane.

And I love you.

And I can see you.

I can see you for who you are.

And I can love you in a way that is utterly detached from all these things that I thought one did to be loved.

Yes.

Good luck.

Yes, right here in this front row.

Yep.

Oh, thank you guys.

Okay, so my question hearkens a lot to Amanda's holding things up and putting them down, which makes sense because I identify as an Amanda, like sun and Abby, kind of moon and fun and rising.

I feel like I should give you a hug, please.

Okay.

Oh my god, I love you so much.

Oh my gosh.

A sun and moon and rising.

No, but I'm so serious.

I'm so serious.

They have a whole chart and everything.

But anyway, so I like to think I'm like a recovering perfectionist, right?

And going to the why thing as well and not being stuck in the why, what I have been going through for the last couple of years in therapy is needing to know what made me such a perfectionist.

And what was very abundantly clear right away was that it's not a product of my highly evolved parents who are amazing and were always like, just do your best, do your best.

You go through all these things, and I still don't know.

And so, I'm trying to let go of the why do I want to hold things up?

So, I'm not even close to the put the things down.

I'm like, why do I want to hold them up so badly?

So, if you have any insights on getting even to the why am I looking upward, that would be so magnificent.

Love you all.

Well, good job to your mom.

Good job, mom.

Good Good job, mama.

So first,

what I would say is the first step is

not shaming yourself for that at all.

Not saying why in a way of like,

why do you do that

perfect part,

you know?

In a way, because

what we've all been exploring so much in internal family systems therapy is that like,

yeah, IFS to the rescue,

is that every single part of ourselves is

working for us.

Like it has its job and it thinks it is working the way that we need it to work.

Like it's in there just hustling so hard and

it doesn't know that we, where we are now, don't still need that, right?

so I don't think it's like anyone's fault

sometimes it's someone's fault

in your case clearly not she's lovely

but I mean it's more like a curiosity which clearly you have but like for me at least it was like

my perfectionist part for example was

Everything will go to shit

if

I don't

stay hyper-vigilant and try to look out for things that could be bad.

My family, the business, whatever.

Like feeling like if I put something down,

I was letting everyone down.

Yeah.

Right?

And also feeling like

that part that really at the end of the day, that piece was trying to

show that I was worthy of being here

in whatever place I was, you know?

And so I think it's different for every person, but I think like it's so cheesy and I'm like the worst therapist person because every time my therapist is like, go to your part and talk to it, I'm like,

how?

Where?

Right.

But

like if you actually like get curious, everything is logical.

Like it's not illogical that you have a perfectionist part.

It's what is it doing?

What was it working toward?

What kind of update does it need that like you actually don't need to hustle to be perfect anymore?

Like it needs an update.

So I don't know.

I just assume best intentions about everything that your crazy little self is doing.

And then just get curious about it and see if you still need it doing that other thing.

Because you want to know what's my perfectionist part is doing right now?

Hmm.

Okay, this is so embarrassing.

My perfectionist, I realized, was a protector.

Like, it wasn't trying to be perfect, it was trying to protect me from what would happen if I wasn't perfect.

And so,

what I am doing now is actually like

when it comes up, because even with the new thing I'm trying, with the whole like, let the world unfold bullshit, which we're trying, we're still trying it.

It's still like my anxiety is like, hey, girl, you sure?

And I'm like, I see you, but we're not hanging out anymore.

Yes.

And I have to like consciously be like,

and then we, and then I say, like, okay, here, like, we're actually okay.

Yeah.

I see you.

I know you're working to protect me.

I know you think that's what we need, but actually, we don't.

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Okay, we're gonna go to the top row.

Anybody have a question?

Yeah, right there, when you're going like this, stand up and move yourself to the center in the middle.

Yes,

that was efficient.

Okay, go ahead and ask your question.

Hi, my name is Jen, and I just want to throw out a couple of things.

One, you know, the universe really, I think, puts us in situations that presents us opportunities to be able to grow.

And myself, I'm in this really icky phase of life with a lot of stuff going on, right?

Working on my shadow work, my therapist is great.

I would love to know your perspective on when you get feedback, right?

Or somebody gives you an opinion and you're like, hmm,

I can decide really how I want to interact with them.

But here's the kicker.

Nobody gives you the space

to grow based on that feedback.

So, particularly, like Lennon, you're an activist, you all are.

Like, when we're asking for change, including for ourselves, how do we as cheetahs, how do we stay resilient to that constant asking for you to change who you are, how you interact with people, but get zero space?

Good question.

Happy unpacking.

Yeah, good luck, babe.

I mean, I can only tell you, like, my most recent experience with this, because it changes for me every year.

I think that I just realized, I think I spent so much time

trying to be or appear to be or convince people that I was a good person.

Like that is, I was doing that all the time.

Like, when anyone was mad at me, or when anyone was criticizing me, or when anyone was saying all the things, which people do say a lot of things to me,

I was constantly

wondering if they were right secretly,

that I was not a good person, or that I was, that's always what I heard in the criticism, right?

Or

trying to argue back and show all the reasons that I was a good person.

I finally realized that doesn't matter.

I was in a situation recently where there was so many people mad at me and so many people yelling at me about whether I was doing anything right or giving me lots of feedback.

And I realized, oh my God,

why would I spend one?

I don't even know if I'm a good person.

Like, who cares?

There's so much shit to get done.

Why would I spend one minute arguing with you about whether I'm a good person?

Why don't I just go do something good and keep doing good things and keep showing up for people who

have, they don't give a shit.

These people being rounded up by ICE, all the people in this country who are absolutely have so much less power and privilege than we do right now, they do not care whether we are a good or bad person.

They just need to show up at us to show up and do the right thing.

So

I think it's almost like

a touch of futility and narcissism to even care anymore.

It doesn't matter whether

you like me or not.

I think what matters is that I can sleep at night.

Yeah.

I mean, because honestly, half the time people say shit to me, I'm like, yeah, you're right.

That's dumb of me.

Like,

half the time they're right.

Half the time time they're wrong, half the time it has nothing to do with us.

Half the time somebody says something to you about you, we don't see the people as they are.

We see people as we are.

So most of the things that people are saying to you are about them.

And then also there are these beautiful moments where somebody says something to us that we're like, yeah, I'll take that.

That's right.

That one's right.

It's like 20%

of the time.

I think the most important feedback is the feedback you give yourself at the the end of the day when you look in the mirror.

We'll go down here.

Hello.

My name is Sophia.

I'm just so excited to be here.

So excited to be in front of you three.

I was going to ask a question that was very similar to what Above Meet asked.

But what I want to adjust it a little bit, which is that I'm actively in a a

disagreement with my sister, who I adore.

She's my older sister.

She has two kids.

I was going to go visit her in two weeks, and now I'm not.

Oh, that's hard.

And it happened because I asked for a little accommodation based off my history of being a people pleaser, codependent person.

who is trying not to self-abandon.

Trying not to allow.

Self-abandon.

Oh, yes.

And

what happened was that I was told that I was a little bit too much and I was making things complicated for people.

And so I agree with you, Glennon, when it is someone who is not

so meaningful and has such a long history of

love

and warmth.

So I don't know what to do then

when I'm trying not to self-abandon and I don't want to lose this relationship.

And so wondering if you can talk about how you do that when you care about the person that's different yours is different

family is different you know prom dash used to always say you think you're enlightened go home and spend a week with your family

what do you think about that I mean sisterhood is hard it is the most beautiful thing in the world and it is very hard because

You know, we're all walking around here trying not to deal with our core wounds.

Like our core wounds, the stuff that happened to us in our family of origin, whether there was a lot of love there or not, like no matter what,

we have wounds there and the beauty of much of siblinghood

is that

with each other those cores those core wounds come right to the top every time.

So every interaction is not even about the thing ever.

It's like 50 leagues beneath the sea, right?

What do you want to say to her about sisterhood?

That's a hard one, man.

I mean, I think when I sat down.

You deserve to sit down.

That was stressful.

I have a lot to say about it, but I think you can't,

nor should you, save her

from

the impact of your existence on her.

Right.

Like, that's not a thing that

you can fix or should fix because it's when you say I want to save the relationship like

you will lose that relationship if you know in your heart you said what you needed, she balked and you took it back.

Like it's over then because you know that you are not safe to show up the way that you need to show up and that you can't trust yourself around her.

Because if yourself said what it needed and then yourself took it back when it got icky, then you can't trust yourself around her.

So it really isn't a question of whether you can trust her.

It's a question of whether you can trust yourself and to stay with yourself in her presence.

I also think that,

because I have a complicated relationship with my whole family too, and

whenever I go home,

I

literally do this on the plane and don't make fun of me.

I literally like surround myself with white light in my mind and I'm like you can take your body anywhere it wants to go.

You have a credit card.

You can leave whenever you want.

You can leave whenever you want.

And so I don't want to take

oftentimes when we ask

for some sort of accommodation in some way.

What we're also trying to do is grow the spine to be strong enough to be able to stand up and walk out of any fucking room you need to walk out of.

The interpersonal relationship is less important right now until you can get your relationship with you solid enough where you can walk yourself in and out of any room.

Ooh, that's good.

Because then the other stuff doesn't matter.

Right, and then you can have compassion for her.

Because I think that's the other thing.

Like in

sister relationships, it's like

you know each other's

like

if it was a video game, like you'd know exactly the place that you're like, well, that's the death kill right there, right?

And that's what makes it so intimate, and that's also what makes it like, frankly, dangerous.

And so, I think you can also, if you know you have your own back,

then you can look at her with compassion and be like, oh, this is so hard for her.

Like, she's got a little sister who she's probably severely codependent and enmeshed with, who suddenly asserted that she was her own person.

And she is taking that deeply and tragically personally because she thinks you're one person

mentioning for a friend.

That friend is me.

We feel you.

Yeah.

So she's just having a hard time with you separating yourself in some way.

And that's hard.

And it's also necessary.

And she'll get through it.

And you will also get through it if you stick with yourself.

And nobody ever talks about it, it's not,

we think...

We all learned about boundaries, okay?

Everybody talks about boundaries.

Great.

But

what what we don't tell people is when we finally get up the courage to set the boundary like you said the thing, that's actually not the hard part.

It's not.

You say the thing.

Never in the history of the world has anyone in a family unit said something that was different than what we all agreed on before.

You have no needs.

This is your role.

This is your, because we're all given scripts.

Every family role is a script.

Nobody has ever gone off script and then everyone in the family went, oh, okay, that sounds good

No

No when somebody on stage goes off script and says a new line Everybody else freaks the hell out because then they all have to change their roles like they She's freaking out right now.

That's okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You recalibrated now She has to recalibrate, right?

Yeah, you can give her time

You can do that with an open, gentle heart.

You don't have to be mad at her while she does it.

That's what I do.

I get so mad at people for thinking they're mad at me and nobody's ever said they're mad at me.

You actually don't have to do that.

It's like you set the boundary and then you just wait.

The storm is going to come after you set the boundary.

Hold,

hold,

hold.

It's not your time.

It's like you played chess, you did the thing, you're...

No.

You just wait for the storm to pass, wait for them to change their roles, and then see.

And if you keep a soft heart, plus you are a love, like your energy, it's going to be okay.

You're gonna be good.

All right, let's find another question up top.

Thank you.

Hi, my name is Kylie.

I turned 27 in two weeks.

Oh, little baby.

I feel geriatric.

I feel like my life is ending because I'm in my late 20s.

So, how do I get over the two?

Does she feel like your life's ending?

Hold on a second.

Did you say you're feeling geriatric?

Okay.

How do you think that makes us feel?

Yeah.

That's okay, honey.

Keep going.

She's like, I'm not taking cues.

You're taking cues.

So the question is: how do we make you feel a bit better about being sold?

So old?

Is that it?

Yeah?

That's a question?

Yeah, I think it is.

Well, it's all downhill for you.

But hold on, hold on.

Let's just hold some space.

Yeah, sure.

Hold.

Hold.

Okay.

Is it possible?

I'm just trying to empathize.

I'm trying to think.

I'm trying to remember when I was 27.

You were wasting.

I know, I was so drunk.

So that's one option.

I'm just trying to get into a 27-year-old space.

I mean, we do have lots of crappy ideas in this country about how fast we're supposed to be achieving and doing all kinds of stuff, and it's all bullshit.

Are you worried that you haven't, like, gotten enough done on the planet yet?

Or I actually want to know what you're worried about.

Yes, all my friends are married and have babies.

Oh, honey, they're giving a

minute, they'll be back.

You are crushing it!

Oh, sweetheart.

That is stressful because at that time, you know what I always think about?

You know how...

Okay, so depending, it changes by state.

But for some

reason, there's like a magical age in every state where it's like

there will be 35 weddings in your friend group this year

It just so happens that everybody met the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with this year

No, they did so arbitrarily

They just got FOMO and grabbed the first person that they saw

Because their friend was getting married.

They're like this is the time.

Let's go you'll do you'll do you'll do

So that's silliness.

We should really re-look at that.

We really, really should.

But there is, there's always, like, whether you're 27 or 37 or 47 or 57, there's like, it does feel like there's a little bit of, there's always a pressure that you should have done something by now.

Your life should be in more order than it is.

Your relationship should be X, Y, and Z.

And

you should just generally have your shit a little more together than you do.

Like at every stage.

And I think there's a legitimate grief of every stage.

Like that, that the good news about getting older

is, hey, still kicking.

The bad news is that that period of your life really is

coming to a close.

And so I think it is a disservice to be like, when we make getting older like this tragic thing as if it is, which is so silly.

But it's also, we shouldn't minimize that something is done.

You know, your 20s are done.

For me, I was like, thank you, baby Jesus, my 20s are done.

But I mean, there is a period of time that you do, you grieve.

And so, but no one has their shit together at 27 or 37 or 47.

So, like, there isn't

at all.

And, like,

I have a life hack.

Yeah,

I've got a life hack for you.

Buckle up.

I'm the youngest of seven in my family, and I choose to only hang out with older people.

And so I always feel young.

Try not to take that personally.

That's it.

So like when my older brothers and sisters, like they turn 50, they're about to turn 60.

I'm like, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

They're old and I am young.

So, and I'm saying that at almost 45, so you've got plenty of time.

But I love you, and I do think we should hang out with more, like, we should do more intergenerational stuff.

Like, it was so hard to be 20 and 27.

I would not, it is so hard to have all the shoulds in front of you and have the whole world telling you you should be this or you should be that, and you still care about what people think when you still care.

That's the real thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You still care.

And so.

The 40s, that starts to go away.

Yeah.

Wonderful.

Hang in there, love bug.

All right, we got one down here.

So my name is Lane, and just like the town, Minnesota.

Hey!

I can't believe I'm in the same room.

So I was one of the blogs that you highlighted on mamastery like 12 million years ago.

Anyway, that's not the point.

My question is: what is your self-care

to stop hurting?

To stop what?

Hurting.

To stop hurting?

Yeah.

What is your self-care to stop hurting with all of the shit that we have to fucking deal with?

I never

stop hurting.

That's true.

Yeah, I don't even think that's the goal for me anymore.

Like, I'll never forget being at one of my first AA meetings.

And

I said something like this, like, I just want to be happy.

I just,

how do I be happy?

How do I be happier?

And

this, like, old lady, kind of grabbed my leg and she said, oh, honey, being human isn't about feeling happy.

It's about feeling everything.

And like,

I don't know.

I just think this whole like pursuit of happiness thing, it's so,

it's like the pursuit of it is what makes us miss everything.

Like, I don't even know what we're trying to do.

I just, I think the only self-care that's real for me is to like

slow down

like just slow down enough to notice how I feel and to notice my humanity and to notice intuition

like we run so fast to try to get happy grabbing all the things like the next I mean the amount of time I spend on Zillow it's just

I am also guilty.

It's in sick.

I love Zillow.

You know, I've gotten to the point point where

I can measure my mental health by how many hours I'm spending on Zillow a day.

It's like.

I can measure it by how many houses you send me on email from Zillow.

I'm like, oh, it's not a good day.

And I'm like, okay.

My self-care is like, if I'm looking for a cabin with no electricity in the middle of the woods in some state I've never been to,

Maybe I just need a minute by myself in my house.

If I'm this to the next day, I'm looking for a commune in New York where all my friends can live.

Like maybe I just need to call Liz.

Like it's very small things, you know?

But I know it looks like online, it looks like everybody's happy.

I know everybody and they're not happy.

Right?

They're just like us.

Everybody's just like

either avoiding their feelings

or sitting in them a little bit.

And I I think when we sit in them, we find what we're meant to do next and who we love.

And I mean,

I'm slowing down a lot, getting quieter.

I'm crying all the time now.

I'm like,

I don't know where that came from.

That's fun.

Well, I've been the crier in our family, so it's actually fun.

Like, before she was just like,

it's awesome movie sad.

Well, I've been on Lexapro since I was boy.

Yeah, I know,

Now she's crying, so it's good.

I think it's okay to hurt.

I think the best people hurt.

That's like we need the people who are sensitive enough to feel what's going on in the world.

And the people who are sad, the sadness is the gap between the vision you have inside of yourself about how things should be and the reality of how things are.

That's why visionaries have the biggest sadness because the big sadness is the biggest gap you can see between what you know, this relationship could be more beautiful, this person's life could be more beautiful, this planet could be more beautiful, this country could be more beautiful, and you feel the vision inside of you and you see the reality, and there's such a distance, and that distance is the sadness.

So, keep the sadness.

The sad people are the ones who stretch to make the vision come true on earth, which is what that whole shit about on earth as it is in heaven means.

Wow.

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Okay, we're going to go up top again.

There you go.

Thank you for being here.

My name is Michael.

Hi, Lynn.

I heard you live the first time in the Twin Cities in November 2016.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Love Warrior.

On October 20th, 2016, my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer.

48.

And I listened to you tell us in the audience that one way you navigate hard things,

you lean on your community, but don't take too many showers

because then

you look good and they don't know you're having a hard time.

That's right!

That's right!

You gotta look sad!

I stood up and I asked you: in addition to not showering, how do you navigate really, really hard things?

And I think you even stood up and you said, You take it one step at a time.

You look for that next spot that lights up, and you just go there.

You can't figure all this out.

Yeah.

My husband is still alive.

Wow.

He has recurrences, but he quit his corporate job.

He's coaching.

We're teaching about navigating hard things in life, and I always tell my Glennon story, whoever I'm with.

Oh, God.

I just want to know for the three of you, eight years later, for Glennon, and for the three of you, how do you balance one step at a time with the immensity of either personal hardships or this country we're living in in this moment?

Do you have any revised take on that?

You are beautiful.

Yeah.

What do you think, Sissy?

I want to know what you guys think about that one.

I felt on the what's going on in the country situation, I think that

a lot of the overwhelm where we feel like we're getting flooded right now just absolutely flooded as an intentional strategy with so much violence so much dehumanization it is an intentional strategy to do that because

when

when they do that to us we feel like our only choice is to either look away or to go numb

and it's shrewd it's actually historically a repeated process.

And so I think when we're so flooded like that, when we're so overwhelmed, it feels like, oh my god, this is brand new.

This is unprecedented.

I am full of fear.

What will happen?

If we're even daring to continue to look as opposed to look away.

And what I find to be super helpful in those times is to not look forward, but look back.

This moment is alarming and outrageous, and we should be outraged about outrageous things, but it is also

something that has happened over and over and over and over and so I like to read stories about freedom fighters of the past I like to read stories about American history I think that about apartheid history about fascism 1.0 like I really think we would all benefit from that because it is horrifying to read and strangely comforting when we find ourselves, oh, this is not a unique personal experience to us this is not an individual fear that we are facing about something that is happening to us this is the human story like Michelle Alexander said like we are not the resistance they are resisting the flood that is

the the people's pursuit of their self-determination, of their liberation, of their joy.

And when you look back and see all the ways that others before us have fought really, really hard for what they have gained, you suddenly don't feel overwhelmed and scared.

You just decide, am I taking my place

where I belong in the way things work?

Which is that people rise up to take totalitarian power.

And then the people either take their place to fight it and to caretake the world, or they don't.

And it makes it very simple.

It's like, I want to do that.

I want to be part of the history of the way the world works.

And so for me, it just feels like it takes the fear out and just makes it math.

Dictators are going to dictate.

People are going to people.

Let's show up in people.

And

dictators gonna

dictate.

So good.

That helps me.

So good.

Okay, let's go to this, this person here.

My name is Darcy, and

I, like everybody here, is just so amazed to be in the same room with you.

And I don't know if you remember or if you saw, but I had sent an email to you.

I had written a poem, All the Parts of Me Are the Many Parts of You.

And

that really is just kind of the story of how I see myself.

in each of you and the way that you have traveled on my journey with me and been every step of the way exactly what I needed to hear right at the right time.

I got divorced.

I got divorced.

I left the Catholic Church.

I'm a four.

I found out I am neurodivergent.

And I also found out at 45 that I'm queer.

Yes!

Welcome!

You're so lucky!

And

as a fellow educator,

also struggling with the world of education right now, so

my question is:

do you know how massive of an impact

you have

on us?

Wow,

great job.

Oh my god.

I'm like tearing up.

Okay, hold on a second.

I've got a surprise.

What is your name again?

Darcy.

Darcy.

I have a little surprise

because you guys are so beautiful.

Today is Glennon and my anniversary.

I wanted you all to be a part of this because I knew it would embarrass Glennon so much.

I knew it was our anniversary, so my dad texted me this morning and then I googled it.

Yeah.

She's not good with numbers.

I don't take it personally.

She has other strengths.

So, one of Glennon's least favorite things is big

shows of love.

So that's what we're gonna do right now.

And

what I will tell you is a few years back,

I

reproposed to renew our vows, and that didn't go over so well because her family was there.

So I'm gonna try again

because

our family's here.

So Glennon,

will you please renew your vows with me and marry me again?

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

You guys, we're going to close out the show with Tish Melton.

Tish, get out.

Yeah, she's gonna play one more song for us.

Darcy, thank you.

Thank you.

Hi, that was cute.

Are you so embarrassed?

Are you crying?

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

It's so sweet.

Are you, are you, were they tears because you were so embarrassed to have to come up here after?

Okay.

Thank you all so much for coming.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you guys for coming.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you,

Pod Squad.

Thank you for showing up and for helping us stay human with your brave and beautiful questions.

I will never forget those moments with you on the road.

We cherished every single moment being together with you in person.

God, we love doing life with you.

We're closing this episode the same way we ended each unforgettable night with Tish

singing We Can Do Hard Things.

Until next time, I give you Tish Milton and Brandy Carlisle.

I walked through fire, I came out the other side.

I chased desire, I made sure I got what's mine.

And I continue to believe

that I'm the one for me.

And because I'm mine,

I walk the line.

Cause we're adventurers, and heartbreaks are map.

A final destination

lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to belong.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives

bring,

we can do a heart thing.

I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand new start.

I'm not the problem,

sometimes things fall apart.

And I continue to believe

the best

people are free.

And it took some time,

but I'm finally fine.

Cause we're adventurers, and heartbreaks are map.

A final destination

lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to belong.

We'll finally find

our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives

bring,

we can do a hard day.

We're adventurers and heartbreaks on that.

We might get lost, but we're okay with that.

We've stopped asking directions

in some places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be known.

We'll finally find

our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives bring,

we can do hard things

Yeah, we can do hard things

Yeah, we

can do hard

things