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Hello, loves.

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things.

I think that you are going to find today's show a delight.

And that is because

your little team here of Amanda, Abby, and me decided that

we're always trying to find ways to make life a little easier, a little better, a little juicier, a little more beautiful.

And we thought, well, after last episode with Rosque about the power of delight and joy and gratitude in our lives, go listen to it if you have not.

We decided we could keep working hard to add beautiful things to our life, or

we could just notice more

the beauty that is already in our lives.

We could just pay closer or different kind of attention to the things in our lives that cause us spontaneous delight.

We did that, y'all.

We have

done the homework.

We have concentrated day in and day out for the last several days to day in and day out for three consecutives.

Well, it was hard.

It was fucking hard.

Look for joy.

All right.

I'm so glad it's over.

Exhausted.

I'm so glad it's over.

I could get back on my want, want train.

Exactly.

No, actually, it's been.

Look, Abby's looking at us like we're nuts because she is delightful.

And she.

She is.

Yes.

And she has loved this exercise, right?

It's, yeah, it's so wonderful.

Yes.

I feel like people in the world are continuingly putting in our lap that we just have to follow this methodology of joy, go towards delight.

And to me, it was just like so fun.

Yeah.

To you, it was just like life.

I was just living.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm so excited to talk about these things because I'm joking a little bit, actually.

I agree.

It's the idea of what you seek, you shall find, right?

If you are out looking for what to be delighted or what to be grateful for, that is what you see.

And if you're out there looking for things to be pissed off about, that is what you find.

That's right.

Raske says that the more you study delights, the more the delights there are to study.

Yes.

That is why I think everyone is out there pushing the whole gratitude journal dogma

because it's that the more you study it, the more there is to study.

It's not like it's actually adding different things.

It's just the noticing of the things that are already there.

Yes.

I don't know if I've, if I've told this story before, if I have, just,

oh, well.

So

When one of my kids decided he wanted to get on Instagram.

And so we were like, okay, well, what, why do you want to get on Instagram?

He said he, he takes, he loved taking pictures.

Okay.

We're like, well, that's actually a good reason.

Like, you want to get on there, put your art on there.

That's cool.

But what he noticed, and we talked about a lot, is that the beauty of being a photographer, being a writer, being a gratitude noticer, being a joy seeker is not like the time that you sit down and write in your journal.

That's not the benefit of it.

The benefit of it is the rest of the day.

Okay.

So if you are a photographer and you're out there looking for beauty to snap, then your morning, noon, night, everything, a walk becomes a search for beauty.

Everything becomes a search for beauty.

And so your life changes because of what you're looking for, not because of the end result.

So this is why, pod squatters, we feel like this is an important

concept

for adding

for having more aliveness, more joy.

It costs nothing.

This is maybe why the wellness industry isn't selling it hard because it can't be sold.

It's nothing.

Except for the gratitude journals.

Right, right.

Which, by the way, P.S., if you, I have a journal on the market.

It's lovely.

I also know that just a piece of paper works.

Okay.

Just the voice app, piece of paper.

That could also be a gratitude journal.

Okay.

So.

Can we talk, you three, about

the specific delights that we identified in our lives.

I would like to suggest.

But can I interrupt?

Yes, of course.

I would actually like to go around and figure out from the three of us how you, your body actually experiences a delight, like the physiology or the emotion or the feeling or the reaction.

I want to give the pod squad

a vivid picture of like when we tell these stories, what we would look like.

This is an iconic tripod moment, I believe, because we know if we are Abby's body, I'm spirit, and sister's mind.

Abby wants to know how delight is experienced in the body, which is very cool.

Yeah,

I feel juicy.

Oh,

okay,

she's so proud of herself.

I know, I know.

I came up with a thing that's actually a body thing, and I feel like I have

caught myself in a moment.

Yes, yeah, I'm like,

you just, you just saw a present that was hiding for you and you just, you just saw it.

Yes.

Okay.

So it's a double delight, right?

Because, all right, say you see like a dog.

Most of my delights are just dogs.

Spoiler alert.

Okay.

But say you see a dog.

Like, say, for example, you see a dog that has slippers on.

Okay.

You feel delight in your body because you're seeing a dog that has slippers.

The dog is delightful, but but you are also simultaneously delighted about yourself because you are capable of being delighted.

You're full of joy that you are not a robot and that you are a precious little thing that's being so delighted by this other thing, right?

You're a juicy little sucker who didn't miss the opportunity to just revel in a slippered dog.

Yeah.

It's good.

How do you feel, babe?

Well, I have a little bit.

I just thought of this.

You know, the famous line from Alice Walker's The Color Purple, where she said, I think it pisses God off when people walk by purple and don't notice it.

I am so weird and superstitious that every time I see something purple, I'm like, noticed.

Got it.

Noticed.

It feels at the same time like a bit of a rising inside of me, like

a little bit like, oh, like I'm going up.

on a roller coaster or something, like a lift.

It feels like a lift.

And then it also feels like a sinking into the truth.

It feels like everything's a distraction except for this one thing.

And then I see it and it's like entering a portal.

In some spiritual traditions, they call it the thin places.

And it's like the thin place is the place that is right.

It's like the veil.

It's right between

this material existence that we live in and the other one.

And the thin place is where you can get a little glimpse of the other side.

So it feels a little bit lifty in my body and then sinky spiritually.

Wow.

That's amazing.

You want to know what mine is?

Yes.

Ooh.

I like your speaker.

Do it again.

Do it again.

And for those who are used to 1400 word answers like ours, do it again.

How does it feel for you, Adam?

It just goes, oh.

Yeah, that too.

You know, they say if you can say it shorter, you should say it shorter.

And you did.

You nailed it, baby.

I mean, I'm not saying I'm right or you're wrong.

I just think that that's what comes into my whole being.

And I know that chemically, I know dopamine, I know all that stuff, but it just feels like, whoo, yeah.

There it is.

Yeah.

And also, it reminds me of the life is forever tries because sometimes you can be like, ah, went through this whole day and didn't access any delight.

And damn it, I missed it all.

But really, when you're talking about that color purple quote, the rest of the quote is the part that i love because it's i think it pisses god off when you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it and then she says back what does it do when it when it pissed off oh it makes something else people think pleasing god is all god cares about but any fool living in the world can see it it's always trying to please us back yeah i say yeah it's always making little surprises and springing them on us when we least expect you mean it wants to be loved just like the bible say yes everything wants to be loved.

There's

forever tries of delights just everywhere.

It's not like, shame on you for missing that.

It's like, catch you in the next round.

There's going to be more.

It's every damn thing walking around.

It's just standing there, existing, wanting to be loved.

And when you notice it and get delighted by it, it's the fulfillment of the thing.

It's like, yes.

That's what creates a connection, like Ross roske so it's connection it's connection all right sissy bear

i heard a rumor

from you just now

that

you actually and you've never told me this before in the history of our lives together but that you are so inspired by the roske book the book of delights that you actually wrote a teeny

essayette

about a delight in your life.

I'm finding this hard to believe.

I am delighted

by that.

I'm sweating and I have a red face.

You do?

Because

I had just finished the book on this day that this thing happened.

And I came home and I wrote it down on a piece of paper.

That's so delightful.

Can you please read it to us?

It's so cool.

Yes, we might have to cut it because I'm embarrassed about it.

Well, we're not going to cut it.

I mean, unless your delight sucks.

Yeah, if our delight sucks, then it goes in the sucky delight reject pile.

Okay, this says, it says at the top, Friday Daily Delight.

Oh, okay.

And by the way, is there just that one?

Is that it?

Friday Daily Delight.

It was a brief inspiration.

A short gratitude journal, as most of them are.

Yes.

Okay.

My husband out of town and the responsibilities of getting everywhere all at one time, all on me for the four-day sprint, I managed to get myself to the school pickup line to retrieve the children in the hopes of arriving my son to his violin lesson, which is, because we are overscheduled suburban masochists, scheduled 20 minutes from the dismissal bell, situated 20 minutes from the school.

But I do it.

I get there right on time to find my kids so famished that, they strongly insist, they could not possibly wait until after the 30-minute lesson ended to eat.

And so to my delight, I did not freak out.

I pulled into the Dunkin' Donuts, surprising myself with an acquiescence that would not have acquainted me on a rush day or any other day when I was their age.

Our parents' household priding itself on being as full of love as it was full of puritanical practicality and efficiency.

We got back in the car, noting that we are now four minutes late as projected by the GPS.

I then proceed to make up each and every one of those minutes on the drive.

I should be embarrassed to admit, but I'm not, that besting the GPS projection by one or even three minutes is my most fail-safe daily delight.

Yes!

The aforementioned overscheduled suburban masochist.

Yes!

We pull in triumphantly at precisely the appointed time, only to learn from our son's incredibly lovely, talented, if communication challenged violin teacher that there is, in fact, no lesson today.

And to all of our collective astonishment, I do not freak out.

Instead, I take them to the Italian store around around the corner where we pick up spaghetti and meatballs.

And at the checkout line, I notice a tall rectangular red lazzarozzini tin, which brought my whole body immediately to my seven-year-old self in my Aunt Peggy's house.

Aunt Peggy, whose home was full of deliciously frivolous things, like that red tin full of Amaretto cookies, like time to sew me a Queen of Hearts Halloween costume.

like constant laughter that defied her two divorces, like time to learn to fly a plane like her father and pilot all over the nation with the 99ers, her women's pilot friends, and to take us up in it so we could see the world from an inspiringly selfish perspective of a woman who does what she wants.

Her life and home so delicious, full of treats and frivolity that could not be found in our more stable but supremely practical home and pantry.

And so I told the lady at the checkout how much I used to love those Italian Amaretto cookies at my Aunt Peggy's.

She said, you still love them.

So I bought a few, wrapped in parchment paper and turned and squeezed at the edges like a bow.

Later at home, with an unexpected boon of 15 frivolous minutes, minutes that I didn't even need to steal from the GPS, I sent Aunt Peggy a message about the Amaretto cookies, about every fanciful, delicious treat I could find in her home and her life, and about how the lady at the checkout had concurred that ants' houses are the best houses, and how I agreed and knew that I had the best of those houses and the best of those ants.

And then I ate the Amaretto cookies and I still love them.

What

the

fuck with you two and your writing?

Cincy.

That was my sincere delight.

When I saw that red tin can, I was like, oh my God, Aunt Peggy and her Amaretto cookies and everything else.

There's so much.

There's so much.

I mean, can we just stop for just a second?

And the woman at the Italian store says, you still love them.

So

In our life, she needs us that the stuff that we used to like when we were kids, we probably still like now.

And I said it like, I used to love those when I was seven.

Like, isn't that silly?

And she was like, You still love those cookies.

You still love them.

I love them.

And I was like, Oh my God, I wonder if I still love those cookies.

And I do, by the way, still love those cookies.

I ate them all.

To what do you owe this uncharacteristic not freaking out, which which led directly to all this delight?

Medication?

I don't know.

I think sometimes

when John is out of town,

I'm like,

it's a wonder I'm getting through any of this.

Godspeed to us all.

It's like the standard has lowered or something because it's just me and we're just going to get through it.

And I'm just doing the best I can.

Yeah.

Rather than the like, we got to be there and never be late and on to ta ta ta yeah i don't know totally get that i'm not sure also it was a beautiful day and i had the top down and i was like it it's friday

it i mean it's so amazing how our people around us we think we have to be so perfect and like on time and all the things

And what they want more than anything is sometimes for us just to be like, fuck it.

That's what they probably remember is the fucking moments.

So flippin' beautiful.

Red tin pants.

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Okay, I'll do one next.

Great.

Okay,

so I have had a very interesting experience with the delight project.

I

noticed that a lot of my delights have to do with

misunderstandings with strangers, okay?

Which

I have always considered

annoying and strange about me, but now

I'm reframing as delightful, okay?

For real.

For real.

Yeah.

And I'll tell you why, because, okay, so last weekend we took the little one to a soccer tournament and we had to go on a plane because that is what the soccer requires.

I have thoughts about

a different podcast.

So we're going through TSA.

Now, the TSA line is a lot of things to me.

Number one, it's not my favorite place.

Okay.

Because if I don't like things that are like,

go very slow, but pay attention because soon it's going to be fast.

You know, that's why the credit card machine bothers me with all the waiting and don't do it.

And then suddenly do it.

And then they give you your change.

You don't know what to do with the change.

And the line's behind you.

And you just want to throw all your money and run out of the store.

The cash register.

Yeah.

At the cash register, right?

That it feels like that moment, but like there's more

at stake.

There's people behind you, life and cranky people.

Yes, I'm like, I guess we're just all pretending that we're not taking our shoes off and walking on this filthy, there's a lot you just have to not think about.

And then the poor TSA people, I cannot imagine how much shit they deal with day in and day out because it is a cranky making situation, which is decidedly not their fault.

So, you know, know, it's a powder keg.

And I'm just trying to do my best.

All right.

I really am.

I'm trying to just not

do anything that's going to make anyone's lives harder in the next few minutes.

All right.

So

I

start putting my things in all the many bins.

And there's this woman behind, the TSA agent behind, you know, there's the one that's like telling everybody over and over again to do the same thing over and over again, forever.

It's like a mother of a toddler.

Yes.

Did you brush your teeth?

Did you brush your teeth?

You need to brush your teeth.

Yes.

Yes.

So I'm just trying to

not cause any problems.

I'm listening to her.

I'm looking at her, like trying to make sure that I'm doing it right because it's different all the time.

I'm about ready to walk through the thing.

Over the thing, she calls to me.

She makes eye contact.

She calls to me and she goes,

What was your last drink?

Okay.

I look at her,

process what she's just said, and I say

back to her.

I don't know exactly, but I've been sober for 21 years.

And

it was probably like a Captain Morgan or something back then.

Right, I'm sure it was.

It was probably a Red Bull and vodka.

It's probably what it was.

Or a Franzia.

My last drink was a box of Franzia.

Anyway,

she looks at me.

This woman who before looked like maybe she hadn't slept for eight days, she looked like she was having no funny business from anyone.

She looks at me, she looks very confused for a second, and then she says,

I said,

What was your last bin?

It's all happening very fast, okay?

And I look at her and go,

oh, yes.

Yes.

That makes more sense.

And then she

looks at me again.

She goes, what was your last thing?

And then she cracks up.

She breaks.

And this is all happening in five seconds.

She breaks character.

She breaks.

character.

She turned into her human self.

Yes.

And I'm telling you, she, her eyes sparkled.

Her her mouth got so she cracked up, she was laughing, and we didn't have any time to resolve it.

I just moved right along.

I was like, I can't cause any more problems, I can't explain why I just said that.

When I got to the other side, I was thinking, okay, what I thought was, I know this is ridiculous, this is even worse, but I was thinking, I know we're not supposed to bring liquids,

so maybe now they're checking

how far back our last drink was because we're not allowed to have liquid

in our bodies.

Like, you better not have an accumulation of 12 ounces of liquid in your body either.

I thought it was going to be like surgery when you go in and they're like, when was your last

meal?

So that's why I was trying to explain.

I'm going to be fine because it's been 20 years.

So,

okay, so I get to the other side.

One of the girls was in front of me.

So she's seen some of it.

She's like, What just happened?

So, I explained it to her.

Abby didn't see or hear any of it because she was behind me.

But later, when I was explaining to her what happened, she said,

God, I thought that that was the happiest TSA gent I've ever seen.

She was so happy.

She actually noticed how happy this woman was.

Yeah.

So,

my point is that I loved that moment so much.

And it was a moment of

not stupidity, but like

mishearing, misunderstanding.

But the going off script thing, even when it's an accident, causes this moment of humanity and delight between two people that are strangers.

I was thinking yesterday about how I will never forget that moment forever, the rest of my life

because it was so weird.

I don't think she will either.

The way her face happened.

So how weird that two complete strangers who probably never see each other again, who met for five seconds, will have this weird shared memory.

Yeah.

That's delightful.

It's delight.

That is delightful.

There is something to be said about having somebody who's like in a position of, I don't want to say power, but in a position where they have to be serious and their job is serious and to get them to

forget about that for just a brief moment.

And it's impossible.

I have never seen that.

at a TSA agent before.

That kind of joy, right?

Because when you try to do it, it's not good.

I mean, she just is like when people try to do it.

When I was putting my stuff on the, on the conveyor belt, she was just looking, she was shaking it.

She was shaking her head, big, big smile on her face.

I was just like, like, imagine saying, what's your last been for six days in a row?

And then someone looking at you and saying, I've been sober for 25 years, which is benefit.

And then in my head that night, this is like my bookend of the delight of this experience because I was delighted by it all day.

And then when I went to bed, I realized I was making up scenarios in my head.

For example, in my head, that woman needed a sign to get sober.

She was like for weeks and months trying to figure out, like, maybe I should get sober.

And she was like really trying to get sober.

And then she was like, send me a sign that morning.

And then this woman's like, I've been sober for 25 years.

But then I'm like, wow, I'm, you know, an hour and a half into this fantasy, instead of going to sleep.

And instead of being like, why are you doing this?

I was like, my brain is so delightful.

Look, I am just making up a story for this lady.

That's delightful.

That's cool.

Okay, so that's one of my delights.

Babe, what about you?

Well, every morning, I'm a routine person.

Yes, you are.

I love my morning routine.

I do nearly exact same thing every morning.

And part of my morning routine is that I go work out at the Jim Nero house from 7 to 8 a.m.

almost every single weekday.

Yes.

And

when I first started going there about a year ago, I started noticing something that was happening.

And where we live, there's like this liquor store that opens up at 7.30 every single morning.

And

that's early for a liquor store.

It is.

It makes me kind of sad.

Did you see the TSH age?

I did not.

But they sell like conveniences and stuff there.

But anyways.

I started noticing this older gentleman would pull into the parking lot.

I do not know this person.

I've never seen him.

I don't know his name or anything like that.

But every single morning, he shows up right as that place opens up and he walks his little rear end into that store and buys a lottery ticket every

single day.

And there is nobody on the planet that has belief that good things can come to anybody who believes it for themselves.

This is my daily morning delight.

delight

you know that scene in um goodwill hunting when i knew you were gonna say that

we need to review this pod for how many times we've referenced for different reasons that scene from goodwill hunting

tell it baby you guys can probably explain it better do you want me to do it yes so

Ben Affleck picks Matt Damon up every single day to take him to his construction job.

Yeah.

Will is like this mathematical genius who should probably be working at MIT MIT or whatever.

So Ben Affleck explains as his best friend that every single day when he walks up to Matt Damon's door to pick him up for his construction job, he has a second where he hopes and prays that Will will not answer the door because he's gone off to do his life and gotten out of this town.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And went and got to be able to like do his dreams.

So for me,

my dream and hope is that this gentleman who is buying this lottery ticket stops showing up because then I know he's won the freaking lottery.

And it is a delight.

And I work out with 10, 12 people different every morning.

Every single person knows about my obsession with this person who is going to win the lottery one day.

The all the trainers that they're like, there's your guy.

There's Lotto guy.

And I love it so much.

And one of my superpowers is like when something delights me, I want to like.

share it with people.

You are so good at that.

You're very good at that.

So that's my little daily delight that I also like, I really love a good lottery ticket.

You do.

You're so hopeful.

I don't do it.

Abby Wombach used to get an every time she would be absolutely positive that she was going to win.

Yeah.

And I just, I freaking love that about you.

Yeah.

I mean, shocked, shocked when she doesn't win.

For real.

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Okay, I have one.

Okay.

Recently, I escorted

the fifth grade

trip to Colonial Williamsburg.

Oh, my God.

Which was a 13-hour endeavor that included riding

hence and yon

to and fro.

To and fro on an autobus

with like a hundred fifth grade kids to Colonial Williamsburg.

And then we walked around.

And then

as if there wasn't enough injury already suffered, we were waiting for the bus.

And then the skies just open up.

It is a total deluge.

And we're all standing out waiting for the bus.

And then it's like this moment where everyone's trying to decide.

how to respond.

Exactly.

There's that moment where everyone's trying to decide whether to be like super cranky and vocally angry or just like quiet and fuming frustrated or just to like resign ourselves to the fact that we're going to be sitting on a stanky bus for three hours home with 100 fifth graders.

And then, so after this moment passes, there's like 25 of the kids like run over to this corner

and they're splashing in the puddles and they are doing the arm pump, you know, the universal signal

at us.

And each car that goes by, probably 85% of them honk back at the kids.

And it is as if

every single honk is like a goddamn miracle.

Yes.

Every honk, they start screaming and jumping up and down like they have just like one Abby's lottery.

And then again, they wait for the next car.

They do it with equal gusto.

Yes.

And then they honk.

And then they're just as freaking delighted the next time.

And it happened, because we were waiting there for a long time in the rain, for like 40 minutes.

And you just could not help but smile because all of it, the finding a fun thing to do in an uncomfortable situation and making it more fun, the fact that it's training them that they're doing it.

And then this universal language we have, which is so odd of just popping up.

The whole game group and everything is so weird.

And then everyone being like, I got you.

I got you, huh?

Yeah, why is this universal solution?

Because it's it's trucks in trucks they're used to have their horns like a little strap that they pull down it also works with boats we used to do this this is how we get we get the big liners to honk their horn and we'd go honk your horn

and power honk it's a honk as a response is why does that elicit such delight because it's like contact

the honk is like offensive but in this context it's like yes yes We're all in this together.

Strangers, connection with strangers, man.

There's something to it.

So good.

So good.

Okay.

A couple little ones.

Can I do like a couple little ones?

Yes.

So we have a golf cart that we use to drive around our

town.

We don't have it for golf, but people have those.

And sometimes I drive it around in the early morning and the same people are out like walking their dog.

This one guy walks his dog.

This one lady is always speed walking.

And in my head, what I sing over and over again is, these are the people in my neighborhood.

In my neighborhood,

in my neighborhood.

Yes, these are the people in my neighborhood.

They're the people that I meet when I'm walking down the street.

They're the people that I meet each day.

And it makes me really happy.

And I don't know any of their names or talk to them ever.

But they're part of my song.

And then a little one is:

I was walking on this big sidewalk that we have where lots of people walk on by my house, and

the roses are all blooming.

And I do find myself very delighted by flowers and things that grow.

I don't understand it.

I don't understand why we don't freak out about it more.

I will never understand how a very small

packet of seeds that is as big as three inches turns into a 100-foot garden where one piece of cucumber is 100 times bigger than the little seed.

I don't understand why people don't freak out about that miracle all the time.

It's so fucking crazy.

Like I'll be like, you guys, this seed that you can barely see on my finger became

that

thing.

And we're all just like, yeah.

Yeah, standard.

It makes me feel bad for Jesus when everyone was like, show us a miracle.

And he's like, look at that fucking watermelon.

Look around, asshole.

Look around, assholes.

So anyway,

there's this one flower garden that these people have.

And it's the whole thing is full of apricot colored roses.

Ooh.

They're the most beautiful color.

I kept thinking somebody loves this color so much.

It's really doubling down.

The gardener's like,

what about some blues or some green?

She's like, like, no, pretty much apricot.

Pretty much all apricot.

Apricot.

And this is what I'm thinking.

And they're so beautiful.

Think we have enough apricot?

Add more

apricot.

Right?

And that's what it was, it was delightful, right?

Like, that's delightful.

People who like something so much that they're like, no, all apricot.

I don't care.

I don't care if other people like a little red.

No.

As for me and my house.

Me and my house, we're apricot.

We choose apricot.

Okay, so I'm having all of these thoughts, being delighted by these flowers, being delighted by the apricot freaks who planted this garden.

And

I run into a lady.

Okay.

Like literally, literally, yeah.

Literally run into a lady.

So you're walking or are you still in the golf cart?

I'm walking.

No, I'm walking.

Thank God.

Right.

Did you run?

Like, was she walking the opposite way or were you walking in the same direction?

Unfortunately, I had apparently drifted a little bit over to the left side, like to the place where the people were walking forwards.

And I was, it's not a law, but it was everyone's walking.

But it's customary and courteous.

Walking on the right side of the.

Everyone was walking.

I veered in my delight.

I veered towards the apricot.

That happens to me on treadmills.

Okay.

Wait.

When I'm watching something.

No, when I'm watching something on TV on a treadmill, I literally almost fall off.

Anybody who ever watches anything on a treadmill.

So, like, you were like, oh, delight.

And I went towards it.

And then, and then I ran into a lady, or she ran into me, depending on how you look at it.

I was in her spot.

Okay.

I was in her spot.

And then I was like, oh, I'm, you know, whatever I said.

I know, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

And she's so sorry.

I've been sober for 20 years.

Did you say that?

And then she goes, pay attention.

Okay, listen.

i have not stopped thinking about this i didn't say anything she had a point in her own

world view

in her non-apricot focused life perspective she had a point

so fascinating to me because

i felt like a little bit offended in my soul walking away because what i was doing was paying attention.

I was paying such close attention.

I was paying more attention than any of the other undelighted assholes who were walking by Apricot Village, not even noticing.

I was not paying attention to the things that avoid pedestrian collisions.

Well,

it's like that meme:

not all wanderers are lost.

Not all of those not paying attention to you are not paying attention.

Right.

And we're going to move on in a second, but I'm just going to put a flag in this because what I'm saying is that I feel like there's something here.

I feel like

we are paying attention.

It reminded me of when I don't close the cabinets or whatever.

It's not that I'm not paying attention.

I'm actually paying attention to something very important and beautiful.

I'm just not paying attention to the thing that gets the things done or

avoids problems.

Do you know what I'm saying though?

Yeah,

your priority list of what you want to put your attention on is just different.

Perhaps we pay attention on different dimensions.

Yeah.

But attention is being paid.

Do you have any more you'd like to chat about?

Well, I have one that I thought was so touching.

this last sunday our son was uh competing in a half marathon and we were on this soccer trip and um i wake up at like 6 50 in the morning and i see that there's a notification on my phone facetime from chase

now

in our world that's like alert level whatever because he's not awake and we are on a road trip with amma he didn't remind us that this was happening so we had no idea that he was actually running.

So I called him, no answer, text him, no, no response.

And then about two minutes later, he face times me and turns the phone on.

And what I realize is he is in the middle of his marathon.

And he's at the 10th mile.

He and his roommate in college are running together, which I think is the sweetest thing ever.

And so, long and the short of it, he wanted to include me and Glennon on

his run, which, like, it just was so sweet.

Such a delight.

And it just made me feel delighted.

Yeah.

And he wanted to include you.

Yeah.

He called you.

She's like, yeah.

She's like, yeah.

I just didn't call me.

But when I hung up, that was the first thing Glennon said.

He called you.

And I was like, oh,

he did.

And that makes me very excited excited and go, oh.

And

another kid-related delight that we were talking about is that our youngest in one of those soccer games, she got hurt and they kind of get hurt.

And then you wait a second.

They usually pop right back up.

And sometimes they don't.

And that's like a really scary moment.

And so she didn't pop right back up.

So when she didn't pop right back up, I turned.

I'm just still registering what's happening.

So I turned towards the chair next to me to say, oh shit, to Abby.

And Abby's not in her chair.

We're way up in the stadium thing.

I look down to look for Abby and she's already running across the field to the child on the field.

Right.

So what happened after is that we're way up in the stands, me and Craig and Abby and all the parents.

And she got really hurt.

She's fine, but she got.

It's a big collision.

Yeah.

And so she's laying there and the trainer's out there and the coach is out there and she's not moving, which is terrifying to us.

Eyes closed, not moving.

Abby gets out there.

She says, Emma, I'm here.

And then she opens her eyes and starts moving.

She said, I was waiting for you.

She wasn't going to move or open her eyes until her mom was there to say whether she should move or open her eyes.

But her certainty that if she just kept her eyes closed for five more seconds, that her mom would be in that circle.

And like,

you know, when Abby Wombach runs out onto the field and is like, that's my kid, the trainer just is kind of like, okay, go ahead.

Like, let me know.

Let me know what we should do.

I mean, isn't that the same?

It was really sweet.

It was a damn delight.

Just to hear her say,

I was waiting for you.

Just the certainty, knowing that,

you know?

Oh, my God, that's so beautiful.

Yeah.

So, Glendon wasn't around when I was playing, and I would fall a lot.

I fell down a lot.

I was a very physical player.

And so to make sure that my mom wasn't losing her damn mind, watching me have all of these physical collisions and interactions, I would lay on the ground with my thumb up if I was okay.

And just trying to like

dive, they call it.

Elongate the call or play a psychological game with referees.

The refs didn't catch up at all.

I got a thumbs up.

He's just like writhing in pain, but she's got a little baby thumb up.

A little baby thumbs up.

Or like,

there were a couple of times where I just, I

was actually really hurt.

Oh, that'd be so sad to see your kid laying on the ground and then go thumbs down.

Yeah.

So we taught Amma the little

all good, but I knew instantly that it was a...

going to be a big collision.

I knew she was going to be fine, like truly, but I also knew that Amma didn't know she was going to be fine.

And so I needed needed to get out there to make sure that she knew, that I knew that she was going to be fine so that she could be fine.

And she was fine.

That story is so beautiful.

I just thought of a delight from that moment that maybe Amma has a little bit of me in her because the trainer goes, did you hit your sternum?

And

Amma heard.

hit your sternum.

So she's just doing whatever they say.

So she slams herself in the chest while she's laying down.

She was just laying there and she goes, bam.

And I was like, whoa.

And the trainer goes, why did you do that?

She goes, because she told me to hit my sterner.

Hit my sternum.

She said, did you hit your sternum?

She's like, well, now I did.

Anyway.

All right.

Do you have any more little ones, Sissy, you wanted to say?

I garner a lot of delight from the fact that the dog always knows when a kid is sad or hurt.

Oh,

if a kid is so sad about something, you don't know what to say, but then Seamus just walks in and like puts his head on their shoulder or their lap.

And it's like, how did you know that?

It's amazing to me.

It is.

I know we have, we had to like actually edit all of the dog because we could just sit here and talk all day long about the delights our dogs give us.

The dogs, they're just our besties.

They're They're delight reminders, is what they are.

Also, the way Alice

says specifically, pacifically.

That is a source of delight for me.

Sweet.

I'm going to be so sad when she learns.

I've never told her it's wrong.

Good.

Just because selfishly I want her to keep saying it, though.

I love that.

Pacifically, I would like to draw your attention to.

I had two little ones.

One is,

I was thinking about it.

It's a delight to me.

Every time our friend Alex comes over and I open the door and she just stands on the doorstep and looks at me.

She tilts her head to one side and puts this face on her face that makes it seem like we haven't seen each other for 30 years and she's been on a long journey and she has finally made it.

She lives.

in LA.

We see each other once a week, but it looks as if we have been on a long journey and have finally found our way back to each other, which it sometimes feels like life is like that.

So Alex on the doorstep is one of my delights.

And also I have this yoga instructor who is really cool and

wonderful.

And then every time I leave her

class, she goes, Mike, Lennon, I love you.

And the other day I said,

I love you too, Anastasia.

And I too love her.

Oh, that's so sweet.

It's like these people that show up in our lives and help us through an hour, help us through whatever.

Yeah,

I love you, Anastasia.

I really do.

I love you.

I have a delight.

What's that?

So on Tuesday morning, I had made plans with your mom and your mom to go to

my gym that I was speaking about earlier.

And

I think she was feeling a little nervous because, like, because she's 75 years old and she's going to the workout place that I have not gone to to one time because i'm too scared of it

and she gets in there and she's moving weight

your mom

is amazing she's so fucking badass and so my delight comes when you know the trainer comes over and he's like

that's excellent form pat

Excellent form.

And I was like, oh my God, that's so exciting.

And then the walk home, your mom was so grateful and thankful.

And it's kind of intense and overwhelming at first because there's a lot going on if you don't know how it kind of flows.

And it was just a fucking delight.

It was amazing to me to like go and do this thing.

And also super inspiring for me.

Yeah.

It's like changed my outlook.

I don't have parents that are active.

in their in their 70s, you know?

So it's reframing like what my vision is for a future for ourselves, you know, it's really cool.

Sissy, do you have any you want to end on?

I feel like the small town delights, delight me, the little things.

Like I was just thinking about how

when we go for a couple of weeks in the summer to this small town where John grew up going and everyone's

looking out for slash parenting everyone's kids.

And there's not like a, don't talk to my kid like that there's just nothing it's like please say what needs to be said to my kid because

it's just a few blocks and there's a shop where you can get like milkshakes and sandwiches and stuff and

i remember calling up one time because i had to take bobby somewhere and i didn't even say who i was i was like i can i please have an egg sandwich on bread and they go wait

is this

Is this for Bobby?

And I was like, yeah.

And they go, that's not Bobby's order.

We'll make Bobby's order.

And I was like, okay.

And it's the same place where Bobby came home one day and told me that unfortunately at the market, the milkshake machine was broken.

And I was like, good for them.

The milkshake machine was.

definitely not broken.

They had just been like, this little boy has had too many milkshakes.

So we're just going to sell him.

The milkshake machine is broken.

He's like, you'll never believe it.

The next day he went in.

He's like, the milkshake machine is working again.

Oh, my God.

I just really like that way.

You can just people can just make executive decisions about like

your kid has been overserved of milkshakes and we're just going to tell them

just some common, some like small-town common sense, yes, and communal raising.

Yes, yes, yes.

I have freaking loved this.

I think we should ask the pod squad.

I think that we should collect delights from the pod squad.

We, this is, this is like good stuff, y'all.

it's like you can't add time, you can't change time, but you can kind of change

the experience of life

by focus.

I mean,

let's plant some apricot roses.

Let's plant some focus

and pay attention.

Let's pay attention.

Pod squad, if you want to share some of your delights, call in 747-200-5307.

That's 247-200-5307.

You're a delight, babe.

I am an, I actually am.

Yes, yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

I am.

And guess what?

I think you are also a delight.

You do?

One of the things that I am most delighted by is you and your delight.

Wow.

Oh,

delight abounds.

I just love, like, honestly, if I see somebody else in a delight moment, it does something to me.

I'm like, oh,

look at that person.

Oh, oh, oh oh pod squad oh we'll see you next time go out there and get your oh

bye

bye

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We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wombach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey.

Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren Lograsso, Allison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.