170 - To the Family and Friends

Did you know that Nightfall is not just a podcast, it's also books?

That's right.

It's like movies for your ears, but in written word form.

We have four script collections that are fully illustrated with behind-the-scenes intros for every single episode.

And then we have three novels.

The first Welcome to Nightfall novel, in which two women have their lives turned upside down by a mysterious man in a tan jacket.

We reveal the origin of that, the man man in the tan jacket in that one.

Then the New York Times best-selling thriller, It Devours, in which we really try to get to the bottom of a certain smiling god.

Finally, my favorite, the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home.

Part pirate adventure, part haunted house, all faceless old woman.

Find the three novels and four script books wherever you get books.

Okay,

enjoy this episode of a podcast.

Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

Love the winner, hate the win.

Welcome to Night Vale.

I start today with sad news.

I must inform you of the passing of Intern Victor.

To the friends and family of Intern Victor, we extend our condolences.

Oh, that reminds me.

Our intern program has a new open spot available.

Hours are flexible, as is time itself.

You must be fluent in at least three languages, although one of those can be your own dream language, and another can be a future language that doesn't yet exist.

This is an entry-level position.

All applicants must have 30 years experience in the field of community radio and have been the managing director of at least two radio stations or equivalent unregistered stations broadcasting coded messages to our brave spies in the field.

This is a non-paying position, but we do give you four credits to the institution of your choice.

Please apply in person by groveling before the station management door and crying, choose me, choose me, as their tendrils draw you slowly toward them.

I look forward to meeting whoever gets hired.

Always so fun when we get a new intern.

And now for a look at the day's news.

The Nightvale Medical Association has ordered a review of the management of Knale Asylum after a number of irregularities have cropped up involving a transdimensional missing plane and a pilot who could control people's thoughts.

Honestly, we had a lot of cases like that back in the 60s, said Lonnie Chapman, chairman of the Medical Association.

Mental institutions used to be cruel places where the fragile rift between dimensions was regularly breached and telekinetic powers were exploited.

And people were treated as less than people for the simple crime of having an illness that could not be found in the blood or the bile.

Lonnie settled back into the sagging comfort of his old armchair, sighed, and rubbed his forehead.

We endeavor to help, not to other,

he whispered.

It should be common sense, this kindness.

Why is kindness

not common sense?

He said this last so quietly that no one heard him.

Dust moats circled tirelessly in the afternoon sun through the window.

The Nightville Medical Association is looking to shut down the outdated asylum and replace it with a brand new state-of-the-art treatment center located near Grove Park.

More on the story, as the story has more to it.

I guess I should get into a little more detail about how intern Victor died, since some of you might be curious.

You know, I think the story starts back in my very first days as host of this radio station.

After the previous host, Leonard Burton,

after

Once I took over as host of this radio station, Victor was one of my first interns.

Eager and earnest and always helpful.

He was first in the station in the morning and last one out at night.

His research was impeccable.

That's not true.

he would say, every time I said something that wasn't true.

That's not true either, he would say.

He would say stuff like that a lot.

He was very diligent.

It kind of felt like we were starting this great adventure in radio broadcasting together.

I thought that someday after I...

after

once I was no longer host of this radio station, perhaps Victor would be the one to take over.

Someday, Victor, I would murmur in the quietest hours of the night shift.

Someday, maybe you will be where I am now.

Maybe, Cecil, he would say back into the intercom from the producer's booth, but for now, please stop murmuring that into the mic.

We're live right now.

Then one day he told me he was leaving.

That he appreciated all the time he had spent as an intern, that he had learned a lot, but that he felt his place in the world was not with radio after all.

Not with radio, I sputtered.

I simply did not understand the concept.

If there is not community radio, then what is there?

What is there besides that?

Will someone tell me what else there is?

Thank you for our time together, he said gently.

And then he left.

It would be the last time I saw him for many years.

And now a word from our sponsors.

Today's sponsor is White Claw's new line of non-alcoholic alcoholic seltzer beverages.

Listen, everyone loves a good carbonated beverage.

On a hot day, out at the beach, or not at the beach, the two places it is possible to be.

It's great to just pop one of those bad boys open and really let that water with bubbles rip on your gullet.

But not everyone likes to drink alcohol for a variety of reasons that are never, ever your business.

Just don't ask ask or bring it up.

It's so easy to not do that.

That's why White Claw is proud to announce the newest version of our alcoholic seltzer beverage, now without alcohol.

It's everything you loved about seltzer water, but for the first time, you don't have to get intoxicated.

Flavors include blackberry, wild nettle, wet stone, and one we're just calling Tumbleweed Crush.

Even we aren't completely clear what that one tastes like, but hey, it's water and it'll make you burp without making you drunk.

White Claw's new line of non-alcoholic alcoholic seltzer beverages.

Available wherever you buy your alcoholic seltzer beverages.

This has been a word from our sponsors.

I didn't finish with the story of how interned Victor died, I guess.

Let me quickly wrap that up.

So, a few years after he left, he came back again.

He was older than me me now, with salt and pepper hair and a stiffness to his walk.

When he had left, he had been several years younger than me, but time changes us all, I suppose.

Cecil, I didn't know if you'd still be here, he said.

I bristled at this, hearing a perceived implication that I should have gone on to something larger, that by staying put, I had allowed him to pull ahead of me in some intangible way.

So I responded with manic friendliness to compensate.

Still here?

I shouted.

Great to see you, buddy.

Wow,

what have you been up to?

He told me that he had left Nightvale, gotten an apartment just outside of somewhere called Fresno, that it was difficult at first, and that he felt lonely much of the time.

But that he had slowly made friends, so many friends, and had found a job that became a career that became part of his life.

He worked with teenagers who were going through a tough time, seeing them through to better times.

He was very well liked for what he did, and he was very good at it.

But I've decided to retire, he said.

I'm getting up in the years, you know?

But wow, you don't look like you've aged today.

I haven't, I said.

He was so much older than me then.

I wondered where the years had gone and what I might have accomplished if I had aged as well.

He had retired to Nightvale to be with his family and friends and the people who knew and loved him best, and to relax into the soft years of his latter life.

So that wait, well, that's not how he died, but I have to get to this next report.

I'll finish it in a second.

And now, traffic

There was a song once sung by sailors of an island in the west, where the sun would shine for ever and not a minute less.

They say that on that island a sailor could find their rest, finally let slip shut their eyelids on that island in the west.

But I've been searching, and been searching all my life, as though some cruel test, and have never found my way to that island in the west.

There was a song once sung by sailors, and I believed it, I confess.

A foul lie I still believe in, my sweet island in the west.

This has been Traffic

Intern Victor lived in Nightvale for many years more.

He was active in charities and volunteer groups, continuing to offer counseling to students at the local high school.

He lived in the hefty Sycamore Trailer Park, watering a garden of flowers that he kept in pots around his trailer.

It seemed that Victor was even more busy in retirement than he had been in his long career.

Returning to his community seemed to invigorate him.

He helped Carlos with experiments at the labs, donning goggles and lab coats and writing down numbers with hearts around them, all of that science stuff.

Carlos said he was surprisingly good at it for someone without training.

He worked with Dana at City Hall, creating the No More Pit Initiative, which strove to keep one teen a year from entering that pit on Clement Street and disappearing forever.

Now, the initiative was unsuccessful, and the pit continues to devour, but hey, it was the attempt that matters.

He acted as a volunteer lifeguard at the waterfront recreation area, at which he saved a record five people in one day from drowning.

A truly astounding record when you consider that there is no water at the waterfront recreation area.

Nightville having an entirely arid climate.

Yes, intern Victor was accomplished and well-liked.

He would have made a fine host of this radio station someday, but he never showed much interest, which is a pity.

Because after I.

after

well

Who will take up that mantle?

Not Victor.

Not anymore.

Oh,

I guess I still haven't told the story of how he died.

Uh, let me do that just after the weather.

There's a wall,

and on it is a spider.

There's a spider, and beneath it is a wall.

There's a garden,

and in it is a flower.

The first flower of this garden of all

And I've been in here two weeks too long

There's a river and on it sparkles sunlight

There is sunlight and it dances on the water

There's a tree

and in it is a wasp's nest

And a robin and the robin squalling daughters And I've been in here two weeks too long

I can't picture any after

to this present

Each night dreaming of futures even less pleasant And I know that this will end But I don't believe that this will end

There's a house

and in it is a man

And in it is a man

And the man still in the house

There's a wall

and on it is a spider.

There's a spider and beneath it is a wall.

And I've been in here two weeks too long.

You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

Smart Choice.

Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.

That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.

So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you.

Give it a try after this episode at progressive.com.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.

Not available in all states or situations.

Prices vary based on how you buy.

CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships.

Instead, it's shorthand for Customer Rage machine.

Your CRM can't explain why a customer's package took five detours, reboot your inner piece, and scream into a pillow.

It's okay.

On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better.

AI agents don't just track issues, they resolve them, transforming the entire customer experience.

So breathe in and breathe out.

That CRM was then.

This is ServiceNow.

Victor was in bed.

The curtain over the window shifted slightly in the breeze, breeze, so the sun flickered in the room, shadow and bright, like a message from the world outside that he would never live to understand.

His breath felt like a finite quantity, slowly drawn out of his chest.

He knew that the last of it was coming soon.

He wanted to use the dregs of his breath for words that would sum up his life, but he couldn't think of any.

He could only think of,

I am tired.

He could only think of, thank you for being here.

He could only think of, I wish I had more time,

although he didn't know what he would have done with that time if he had any.

Around his bed were the people who had known him throughout his life.

There was his sister, Carly, and his brother Herman, and his aunt Ronnie, ancient and brittle, but apparently destined to outlive him.

There was his friend from college, Norm, whose hands shook as he looked into Victor's eyes.

There was former mayor, Dana, and her brother, leaning into each other in sorrow, keeping each other upright as a family creature of grief.

There was Carlos in an understated lab coat, frowning.

There was nothing more scientific than death, and yet Carlos hated the fact of it, and he wrestled with the contradiction within himself.

Some natural processes feel unnatural, no matter how many times they occur to us.

They are a surprise that our whole life spends telegraphing.

In the corner was Rosario, one of the teenagers Victor had worked with back in Fresno, who had eventually moved to Nightvale after getting lost in the shelves of a strange antique shop and waking up in the vacant lot out back of the Ralphs.

She was middle-aged now, her face glistened with tears.

Everything I am is because of you, she said.

Victor snorted.

Don't blame me, he said, with one of those last precious breaths.

And she grinned despite herself.

You were the first person that cared about who I was, she said.

I'll never forget you.

Already I'm in past tense, he said, but he grabbed her hand and and clasped it in a fervent, silent thank you.

Because she was testament that he had been useful.

And there is nothing more important in a human life than to be useful to other people.

I was there too, and I stepped forward.

You were the best intern I ever had, I said.

I know, he said, and he winked.

It can be

strange when we first meet someone when they are young and just starting out and are in entry positions in the career they want to realize that they have the potential for an entire life.

Victor ended up a great man.

A man with deep roots in the community.

A man who went from 10 years younger than me to several decades older than me.

And I...

Well, I still think of him as an intern.

And I suppose I always will, but his potential was realized upon the lives of everyone in that room, and many other lives still.

A strong breeze came through the window and the flickering of light increased.

as though that incoherent messenger was getting more frantic to be understood.

Victor knew that his finite breaths had reached their last view,

and he did not use them to say anything at all.

He smiled and met each of our eyes, and then

and then after

to the family and friends of Intern Victor.

To the family,

to our families, blood or chosen.

They are the net on which we can fall again and again.

To the friends.

To our friends.

The people who make life worth living.

Who help us when we need help.

Who we help

when we need to help.

Intern Victor was a good intern.

He was a good person.

He is gone.

We are here.

Let's make ourselves

useful

to all families.

To all friends.

Stay tuned next for a tall glass of water.

Greedily drunk by a person who did not realize they were thirsty until the liquid hit their lips.

Good night, Night Vale.

Good night.

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale Presents.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Disparition.

The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin.

Original music by Disparition.

All of it can be found at disparition.bandcamp.com.

This episode's weather was A List for Spring by Joseph Fink.

Find out more at josephfink.bandcamp.com.

Comments, questions, email us at info at welcometonightvale.com or follow us on Twitter at Nightvale Radio or eat mainly sweet potatoes and black beans and discover just how regular you can be.

Check out welcometonightvale.com for more info about our upcoming live stream production of our classic live show, Condos.

Today's proverb.

Earth is technically a sandwich where the upper bread is stars and the lower bread is stars, and the filling is rock and lava, and a few incidental humans.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies, and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks, we've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look, and we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So, if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hey, y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You kind of draw a line through there and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September.

And we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada in October.

And then we'll be doing the West Coast plus the Southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcometonightvale.com slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest.

And it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the diehard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a Night Vale is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvale.com/slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live US plus Toronto tours right now at welcome to nightveld.com/slash live.

And hey, see you soon.