166 - Delta

Hey, y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You kind of draw a line through there and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September.

And we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada in October.

And then we'll be doing the West Coast plus the Southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcome to nightvale.com/slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the Die Hard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So, feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your coworkers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a night veil is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvelle.com/slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live US plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightveld.com slash live.

And hey, see you soon.

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock.

When you visit the doctor, you probably hand over your insurance, your ID, and contact details.

It's just one of the many places that has your personal info.

And if any of them accidentally expose it, you could be at risk for identity theft.

LifeLock monitors millions of data points a second.

If you become a victim, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back.

Save up to 40% your first year at lifelock.com/slash podcast.

Terms apply.

The stars tell us our future.

They're rarely correct, but yet there they are, blathering on, night after night.

Welcome to Night Vale.

At the foot of a sandy hill, a woman explains to her son what a flower is.

She's pointing at an orange starburst atop a squat, bulbous cactus.

She says, Flowers are beautiful, aren't they?

I cannot hear what her son says.

She answers, because bees like beautiful things, and flowers want the bees to take their pollen, that little bit of yellow powder, right down there, inside, and give it to other plants, so they can grow up and be beautiful too.

There's a long pause.

Then she says, nature wants to make more and more beauty all the time.

That's all it wants to do.

If it is not beautiful, it cannot live.

She is upset at her son's next question.

Humans wish to make beauty too, but not for nature, she snaps.

They want computers and airplanes and factories.

Oh, Benny, don't touch, she sighs.

Then she says, the cactus hurt you, didn't it?

The cactus knows you are human, and it does not want you to touch it.

And now it has let you know that you won't touch it again, will you?

No, Benny, you won't.

Underneath the scant shade of a dilapidated wing of an MD-90 aircraft, a middle-aged man tells another middle-aged man about a time he went to New Orleans.

He thought the French quarter was too crowded.

and the jazz scene overrated.

So he drove east, along the upper neck of the Mississippi Delta to a a swamp shack, where he paid a man $50 to take him on a hovercraft to look at alligators.

Such majestic and hideous creatures, the middle-aged man says to the other.

You know, when I was little, I cried thinking about how I would never see a real-life dinosaur.

All the world had left were bones.

But right there in southern Louisiana, lay dozens of living dinosaurs.

It's an extraordinary world when you finally realize that all life is magic, he says.

The other middle-aged man had heard the story dozens of times, but still he replies, I hear you, I hear you.

A young woman thinks about a job interview she never attended.

She is happy without that job, yet she feels regret for what could have been.

I cannot imagine myself behind a desk making spreadsheets and memos, she says to no one.

But I cannot imagine a five-dimensional horse, nor the width of the void, nor the language of whales.

I cannot imagine a lot of things, but the pay.

The pay would have been pretty good.

Behind a blighted Paolo Verde tree, hidden between lush acacia shrubs, two teenage boys kiss for the 50th time or so.

It is brief, as one stops to look around, on alert for overbearing parents.

They kiss for the 51st time or so, and then laugh, their fingers clumsily fumbling over each other, trying to decide on the perfect grip, the perfect touch.

They melt like marshmallows in the flame of inexperienced joy.

This moment in their lives is as pure and powerful as they have ever felt, and may ever feel again.

My mind is crowded with voices, with people living their lives all day, listeners.

These are the stories.

They are eating fruit and playing cards.

They are arguing about who said what and when.

They are meditating and conversing, retelling old shows and books they remember from when they had such things.

A copy of Tina Fay's memoir Bossy Pants was found in a suitcase seven years ago, and everyone in the group has read it at least once.

Someone mutters that they used to have a copy of Karen Russell's Swamplandia.

It was in her purse when they landed here, but someone won't own up to stealing it.

Another says the book might have been used to make a fire one night because whoever made the fire might have thought the owner was done reading it, hypothetically.

It's been several days since the voices came into my head, and at first it was new and interesting, but already

I have grown tired of it.

I do not know how Amelia Ana Alfaro lived her whole life with these sounds in her mind.

It's unceasing, and I've not gotten much sleep.

The teenage lovers sneak away each night to hold hands and talk big dreams underneath the moon.

It's sweet and romantic, but at 2 a.m., give it a rest, boys.

I could try to talk back, but none of the voices can hear me.

It's like asking the rain to return to its cloud.

But when I talk to Carlos, the voices go away.

Thankfully, I have my greatest peace when I am with my favorite person.

I can't keep Carlos awake at all hours or have him skip work to be with me, so I have to learn to make peace with the voices, as they are noisy but permanent roommates in my brain now.

I do have news to report, but it's mostly stuff you already know about.

The high school basketball team has tryouts on Saturday.

The library is doing open mic poetry nights on Tuesdays at 7, and we all know it's a trap.

Don't do it unless you're well armed.

And the Opera House is extending its run of Verdi's Too Fast, Too Furious,

starring Rene Fleming through the end of the month.

It's hard to concentrate on reading these news stories with so much other language running through my head.

Like this, there's a guy guy who's complaining about metal scraps that haven't been cleaned, and the woman he's talking to is explaining that they are conserving water for drinking, and the guy is saying that it's unsanitary to make dining utensils out of dirty metal.

And she replies that they're not making any more forks or spoons.

They don't need any more forks or spoons.

They need knives, but not for eating.

What am I supposed to do with this information?

It's been going on non-stop for days.

You cannot possibly understand what it's like to listen to someone you don't know, who you've never even met, who you can't even see, ramble on and on about their boring personal life straight into your head.

It's awful.

I can hear another person saying he's found something.

Good for you, pal.

Way to find another rock, or stick, or lizard, or whatever.

Wait.

We

have found

it,

the voice says.

I know this voice.

It's the first voice that's been familiar to me.

Where do I know this voice?

He is saying, First,

we

found you.

You who are

know where.

Now we

have found

it.

And other men are barking in agreement.

Listeners, that voice is Doug Biondi from the asylum, and the voices around him are the agents from the National Safety and Transportation Bureau, all of whom escaped the Nightbale Asylum two months ago.

They are in nowhere, in an otherworld desert, standing near a door, attached to no building, not far from a passenger jet, long since rotted away.

A jet that has been home to 143 passengers and crew members, one of those 143,

the pilot.

Asylum warden Charles Raynor warned us of this.

He had been a passenger on that plane.

He became part of a small commune that grew into an angry cult under the leadership and telepathic influence of the pilot.

Charles told us that the pilot would find those who could help him find Night Vale.

Help him find the real world.

And Doug Biondi knows the way back.

The pilot found Doug, and Doug found the pilot.

I

know the way.

Doug Biondi says, laughing the laugh of a man whose smile is too big for his face.

At the foot of a sandy hill, a mother tells her son it is time.

Stop crying, Benny.

Stop crying so that there will be more flowers.

More beauty.

Underneath the scant shade of a dilapidated wing of an MD-90 aircraft, two middle-aged men argue over which handmade axe is sharper.

At last they agree that the one crafted from the rudder flap and held together with a fan belt is the better blade.

No, you take it, one says.

No, I insist you.

I'm happy to use this smaller axe, the other says, because it is easier to manage what with my back spasms.

And behind a blighted Paolo Verde tree hidden between lush acacia shrubs, two teenage boys kiss the way you kiss when you think it may be your last.

They whisper impossible promises and raise high their rusty shovels, the spades' tips having already been sharpened to deadly points.

They race toward the gathering crowd.

A young woman who thinks often about the job interview she never attended shouts, Nature is beauty.

we are beauty, replies another woman.

They repeat these calls, Nature is beauty, we are beauty, and now every voice in my head is chanting the phrases, chanting, and chanting and chanting, it's too

it's too much.

Silence.

They're silent, suddenly.

My head is clear.

I can think my own thoughts.

Night Vale, I'm getting word that Sheriff Sam is barring all known passages into our town.

This includes roads, trails, sewer grates, even the dog park, which is not officially an entrance to the desert otherworld, but, you know, let's be honest here.

We're on lockdown, Nightvale.

No one enters or leaves.

Good.

This is good.

If the voices can reach me, they can reach any of us.

In fact, if the voices can enter my mind,

then the pilot and passengers of Flight 18713 may well already be here.

Or some of them, anyway.

Or maybe the voices come and go.

This is the first moment of silence I've had alone in nearly a week.

Maybe the voices aren't always there, like radio signals as you leave a city, or a cell phone in an elevator.

Maybe the voices can't permeate us under certain conditions.

Or maybe.

Or maybe.

The voices are silent because

they are listening.

Maybe they're listening to their leader.

Their pilot who is giving instructions on what to do next, when, and where

to attack.

I don't know.

But I must use my moment of clarity to tell you some news.

Nope.

The voices are back.

A single voice is back.

I know, without knowing, that it is the voice of the pilot.

He says.

Uh, hi there, this is your pilot speaking.

Just wanted to let you know that nature is beauty, we are beauty.

We propagate our pollen, we spread our seeds, we grow new life over old life, we cleanse the toxins of technology, we depose the human king and return natural instinct to its rightful throne.

If you can hear my voice, then you are chosen.

You are chosen to join all who join our nature.

All who join are beauty.

All who refuse will be recycled into the earth, destroyed and dispersed to fertilize new, more beautiful life.

All those who are beautiful are chosen.

All those who are not are a cancer.

Blight, infection, and disease.

All who are not beautiful will be cut away, amputated so that the earth's wounds may finally heal, so the Earth may grow beautiful once again.

We have been found and we will return.

Open the gates to freedom, end the tyranny of Artavis.

That's all for now.

We'll be arriving in just a few moments, Night Vale.

There is going to be some turbulence.

I'm sorry, listeners.

I did not mean to do that.

I did not want to do that.

The voice of the pilot overtook me, and I.

I need to lock myself inside the studio.

I have to to protect you from me, but first

the weather

tear the world in half

the haves from the have-not has

built a fire between us

and hope like hell to raise the Phoenix

to tear the world in two

the truths from the half, the truths, the lies, and the bad disguises

from the facts and Nobel Prizes.

Yeah,

These were once good lands of

good neighbors and good friends

We used to fight like dancers

One call with different answers

These were open lands

And strangers were our future friends But fences make for consequences

We're prisoners of our own defenses, yeah.

Now our heart's been broken, lost our way, but found it stolen.

Hidden in a storm of nothing,

a hurricane of newsmen blushing.

Now our eyes are bleeding,

tears of the loss of reason

a pool of our own objections

honest men with no reflections yeah

here's the choice my sister

Gentle warrior, fierce resistor

filled the sky like blackbirds or sit and watch the world spin backwards

here's the choice my brother

old soldier different drummers

march hard to break the borders

or stand guard the old world orders

here's the choice my child

raise your hands and reconcile

while the king kneels down before us.

It's time for you to rise in chorus.

It's time to set our anger free.

It's time for facts to shake the leases.

It's time to name the new North Stars.

It's time for flames to secure the darkness.

It's time to shake the voting booths.

It's time for us to screen

the truth

Now it's time, my friends

It's time to make us whole again

Just as the world revolves.

Let's get these broken days resolved.

You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

Smart Choice.

Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.

That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you.

Give it a try after this episode at progressive.com, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.

Not available in all states or situations.

Prices vary based on how you buy.

This podcast you're listening to, it was once just a dream.

A dream that became reality not by accident, but because someone decided not to let the what-ifs keep them from creating something they believed in.

Starting your own business is a dream lots of us share, but too many let it remain just a dream.

Don't hold yourself back from creating what you believe in.

and turn those what-ifs into why-nots with Shopify by your side.

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started.

What if I can't design a website?

Shopify's got you with beautiful, ready-to-go templates to match your brand style.

What if I need a hand?

Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions, or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce.

What if people haven't heard about my brand?

Shopify helps you find your customers with easy-to-run email and social media campaigns.

And what if I get stuck?

Shopify is always around to share advice with their award-winning 24-7 customer support.

So turn those dreams into

and give them the best shot at success with Shopify.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com/slash Realm.

Go to shopify.com/slash realm.

Shopify.com/slash realm.

I brought Carlos to the studio.

When I talk to Carlos, I don't hear the voices of the passengers from 1-8713.

I don't hear the voices even now as I look directly at Carlos while I'm speaking.

Like Charles Raynor's fishing hole or Amelia Ana Alfaro's puzzles, Carlos grounds me.

Lets me be wholly me.

Thank you, Carlos.

Oh, I also had Carlos bring a pair of handcuffs handcuffs with him that he bought at

Target on his way to the station and use them to shackle me to my desk.

If Charles Raynor is correct, then once the pilot can speak to you, he can control you.

And if that should happen, it won't happen.

But if it should,

then now I won't be able to leave here and do harm to anyone else.

From my window I can see far down the street, a spiral of black smoke.

There are flashes of emergency sirens.

Now I can see people coming up the road.

They are long-haired, sun-scorched, and nearly naked, wearing not much more than flat, wide-brimmed hats and short tunics fashioned from seat upholstery.

These people are carrying large blades, roughly honed from scrap metal.

Some have whittled down pieces of plexiglass windows into sharp points and tied them to ends of long sticks.

They're deliberately walking up the hoods of parked cars and smashing windows and caving in the roofs with their bare feet.

It is no doubt that the passengers of 18713 are here, Nightvale.

If you can hear me, stay inside and lock your doors.

If you can hear the pilot, then do as I have done.

Secure your position so securely that not even your own mind can talk you out of it.

Sheriff Sam has stubbornly kept up all roadblocks in and out of town, so we have no choice but to stay.

The long, unmoving lines of traffic at the edges of the city are easy prey now for the 18713.

The pilot offered a choice of joining or refusing, but it is not a choice.

Not really.

He either can control you or he cannot.

Those whom he cannot control will be killed at the hands of those who can.

Carlos,

you don't hear the pilot's voice and thus cannot be controlled.

But I do.

And I can.

I have been controlled.

We are in trouble, Carlos.

I can't stay chained to this desk forever, can I?

And if the pilot means to destroy you, he might make me do it myself.

Just promise me you'll run.

Leave me behind if that happens, okay?

Okay.

But for now,

do not let me out of these cuffs.

Not even if I use a safe word, which I hear is something quite a few people use in healthy, fun, intimate relationships.

The people of 18713 are climbing up storefronts and tearing off signs.

I can see about 10 or 15 in normal street clothes in the crowd now, which means the group is growing.

They are recruiting quickly.

But something else is eating at me.

In the asylum, in Doug Biondi's journal, and among the myriad voices in my mind, I still have not seen nor heard Amelia Ana Alfaro, the first person to make contact with the pilot.

She disappeared in 2012, and no one has heard from her since.

I need...

to find her.

Somehow.

If anyone can solve this, it might be her.

She was always the best at everything.

Stay tuned next for the sound of me talking to Carlos forever

and ever.

Good night, Nightvale.

Good

night.

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale Presents.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Dispirition.

The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin, original music by Dispirition.

All of it can be found at disparition.bandcamp.com.

This episode's weather was A Prayer for the Sane by Danny Schmidt.

Check out his music at dannyschmidt.com and hear his music featured on our new podcast, Our Plague Year.

Comments, questions, email us at info at welcome to nightvale.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio or live your most medium life.

Check out welcometonightvale.com for more information about supporting us on Patreon because honestly, we really do need it right now.

Today's proverb, people who live in glass houses shouldn't hire that realtor again.

Hi, we're Meg Bashwiner and Joseph Fink of Welcome to Night Vale.

And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the golden age of television.

To do that, we're watching the IMDb viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows.

The episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost, the episode of The X-Files, where Scully gets attacked by a vicious house cat, and also the really good episodes, too.

What can we learn from the best and worst of great television?

Like, for example, is it really a bad episode, or do people just hate women?

The best worst, available wherever you get your podcasts.