Bonus - The Tragic Story of Louie Blasko

Hey y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're gonna be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You kind of draw a line through there, and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September, and we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada, in October, and then we'll be doing the west coast plus the southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcome to nightvale.com/slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the diehard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever.

They don't gotta know what a night veil is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvelle.com/slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live US plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightveld.com/slash live.

And hey, see you soon.

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Hi, I'm Cecil Baldwin, voice of welcome to Night Vale.

We're taking our brand new live show, All Hail, out on the road this July.

All Hail is a high-energy, stand-alone story for long-time fans and newcomers alike.

It tells a mystery about the fan-favorite character, the Glow Cloud, as well as mind control, group chanting, and of course, the local community calendar.

Come see us in Miami, Tampa, Birmingham, Germantown, New Orleans, Houston, Austin, Denver, and Salt Lake City.

You can get tickets today by visiting welcometonightvale.com slash live.

Hey, it's me, your person that talks to you, Joseph Fink.

As Cecil said, we are taking the live show through the U.S.

this July, and then to Europe this fall, and then back to the U.S.

this November and December.

But we wanted to give you all something to listen to during this hiatus.

And so what we have here is something we did with the singer-songwriter Jason Webley, who will be joining us for some of the stops of this July tour as the live weather.

This is something that only happened at one live show ever.

It happened in Seattle the last time we were there.

We asked Jason to do what he occasionally does, which is to play the character Louis Blasco.

And

because he's a really good songwriter, we asked him if he could write a song.

as Louis Blasco.

And so we prepared this kind of script that was a frame for that song.

And then I think Cecil worked with him on one line of the song that you will hear.

But other than that, I think all of us, the writers and also Cecil on stage, went into this scene having no idea what Jason was going to do.

And what Jason did was give a seven-minute long song giving something of a backstory to the character of Louis Blasco.

complete with sing-along chorus.

So this is a bonus track from the live recording of our last live show, Ghost Stories,

which is, by the way, available now at nightvale.bandcamp.com and on iTunes.

But in the meantime, to get you in the live show mood, here is this really interesting, spontaneous bit of Night Vale that happened once, one night in front of a small group of 2,300 people in Seattle, Washington.

Enjoy.

It is time for one of our favorite segments.

Louis Blasco's music moment.

No.

No?

No, I don't want to do music.

I'm trying to get out of the whole music thing.

I'd like to tell a ghost story.

But you've got a ukulele and a music stand.

I don't think so.

Okay, Okay, so listeners, it is now time for Louis Blasco's ghost story moment.

Thank you, Cecil.

Now,

my ghost story is about the haunted locker room at Night Vale High.

Now, there have always been strange sounds heard in there.

You know, the footsteps, the cawing of crows, distant, warped voices singing the Night Vale High fight song.

Wait, wait, wait.

Night Vale High has a fight song?

Oh, yeah, you know.

It's that song they sing before every football game to remind us that no matter who wins, everyone involved will eventually perish.

It's not really ringing a bell.

No, no, you know it.

You know it.

It's uh.

You didn't have to do that to him.

Uh, he had nothing to do with any of this.

No.

You know, it's like,

I was gonna get you the money.

I just needed.

I don't know.

Maybe I.

Okay, okay.

When doing business with

spiders,

I advise that you always honor your debts.

I have it on the very good authority of a a most reliable insider.

That though they seem harmless, even dare I say kind, on the day of the deal when the contract is signed.

And though

I cannot stress enough that you must bear in mind that they do not forgive and they will not forget.

And you can tell yourself, what have I possibly got to lose?

But even a humble music teacher who has never known the warm breath of love, whose cold heart has no room in it for friendship, companionship, partnership, or any manner of ship whatsoever,

they will find

who long ago traded his soul for a can of trombone grease and a very rare limited edition Chet Baker LP.

No, even a man such as this is not immune for somehow they know the architecture of his heart even better than he knows it himself.

And they will find that one thing or person that he cherishes above all else in this world, that single creature whose presence gives him just a little rush of joy.

We'll use, just for example, a boy,

a pudgy, awkward little boy.

We'll just call him Harold.

Ignored and abused by his schoolmates, spectacularly unmemorable in almost every respect, but with a certain promise on the clarinet and a not without a charming lack of fashion sense.

The act with speed, great precision, and professional care.

Leaving just a warm smudge of blood and a little bit of hair.

and an endlessly echoing scream through the holes

as if to intimate that his horrible suffering has still not ended yet at all.

And I know that the terms of the contract were abundantly clear,

the language concise and the interest rates fair.

But as much as one pleads and as much as one begs to their eight empty eyes and their their long furry legs.

He isn't coming back.

He really isn't coming back.

You didn't have to do that to him!

He had nothing to do with any of this.

I was going to get you the money.

I told you that.

Four, three, two, one.

Nightmare High is number one, zero, negative one, negative two.

If we go down, then so will you.

I'm so sorry, Harold.

I am so, so sorry.

Okay, yes, I do remember that song now.

Great, great.

So, okay, let's get on with the story then.

What?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Uh, that was the story.

Uh, Night Vale High's locker room, uh, it's haunted.

Uh,

the end,

okay.

Thanks for having me.

Oh, and if anyone wants to learn the basics of bluegrass, just head down to the burned-down site where Louie's music shop used to sit and just hang out there in the ruins until it gets dark.

And then wait until you are taken gently by the hand.

And then, bluegrass lessons or something else.

Thank you, Louie.

Me again.

I hope you enjoyed that, and we hope to see you at one of our live shows throughout the US and Europe and the UK this year.

Tickets are on sale now.

Welcome to nightvale.com and click on shows.

Thank you very much for listening and

I love you.

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I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks.

We've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look.

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Listen to Unschooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hey y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You know, kind of draw a line through there and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September and we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada in October.

And then we'll be doing the West Coast plus the Southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcome to nightvale.com slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun and they are for you, the Die Hard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a night veil is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcome to nightvale.com/slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live U.S.

plus Toronto tours right now at welcome to nightveld.com/slash live.

And hey, see you soon.