Bonus Episode 7 - The Investigators on iTunes

and I don't just write Welcome to Nightville, we also write books that are not about Nightville, and here are some of them.

Alice Isn't Dead, a lesbian road trip horror love story for fans of Stephen King.

The Halloween Moon, my book for kids of any age about a Halloween where things really start to get weird for everyone.

The First 10 Years, a memoir from me and my wife about our relationship told year by year without consulting each other about our differences in memory.

And from Jeffrey, You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, an apocalyptic novel that takes place in the same universe as the Within the Wires podcast.

No matter what you're looking for, we've written a book just for you.

Find them where you find books.

Okay, bye!

Summer is turning to fall, which frankly, rude of summer to do, but don't worry.

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We're talking cashmere, denim.

This is quality that holds up at a price that you frankly just won't believe.

We're talking super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, which sounds like the kind of item that you need a credit check to even imagine, and it starts at just $60.

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I got an adorable dress for my daughter, which she helped pick out.

She wore it at her first day of school.

She loves that dress.

It has pockets, if you know, you know.

I also got myself a mulberry silk sleeping mask, and every night since has been a luxury, I have never gotten better sleep than with mulberry silk draped upon my eyes.

Experience what it must be like to be wealthy without having to, you know, have a bank account that doesn't make you wince when you check it.

Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince.

Go to quince.com/slash nightfail for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's quince.com slash nightfail.

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Hey, so our newest live recording, The Investigators, was released on Bandcamp recently, and we said it would be released on iTunes soon.

Well, as of today, as of this very moment, in fact, that soon has become now.

It is available on iTunes Now.

Over two hours of new Night Vale live material featuring something like 15 guest stars and live music by Disparition and Eliza Rickman.

Available right now on iTunes and still available at nightvale.bandcamp.com.

To celebrate, here is a clip from the investigators.

It is one of the bonus tracks of the recording featuring Will Wheaton as Earl Harlan.

Enjoy.

Let's have a look now at the community calendar.

Wednesday evening, Night Vale's most popular restaurant, Tourniquet,

will be hosting a special chef's table dinner.

To learn more about this, we have Tourniquet's sous chef, Earl Harlan,

right now on the phone with us.

Thanks for joining us, Earl.

Thank you, Cecil.

Yeah.

Well, the annual chef's table dinner is a special night when our executive chef LaShawn Mason personally curates and prepares a five-course tasting menu.

It's $500 prefix and is limited to only 13 attendees, so it will be an intimate and a unique experience.

Chef Mason wants to share some brand new dishes he's been working on in his test kitchen.

He hand delivers each dish to the diners, and then

he lingers

slowly over each diner as they eat

explaining every single bite

as he touches their chins

gently with his rough thumbs and his soft moist palms

lifting their mandibles up and down

to help them through the first stage of the human digestive process.

He also matches his heartbeat with theirs.

Everyone at the chef's table will share a heartbeat.

That sounds very posh.

Have you ever listened to a heartbeat, Cecil?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, I can actually hear my own now very loudly in my headphones.

Let's see.

Boom-bum.

Boom-bum.

Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum boom

That sounds terrifying.

It is.

Anyway,

this year's dinner will center around quail.

Chef Mason recently rediscovered the joy of quail meat while on a spiritual retreat underneath his own bed.

He was there for weeks,

curled into a fetal position, alternating between screaming and crying and clenching his eyes and teeth tightly because he is really into meditation these days.

During the retreat, he found several quail living in his box spring mattress, and they were his only friends.

He named them Ann, George, Latimer, Costca, Ann Jr.,

and Friday.

They all kept each other company in the cold, dark night.

And later, when Chef Mason got hungry, he ate them all.

It was hard to lose such good friends.

But they were so delicious, he wanted to share that flavor with Night Vale.

So will you be at the dinner, Earl?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I will wake up that morning and I will stare at myself in the mirror, repeating, you can do this, Earl.

You can do this, Earl.

You can do this, Earl.

Until my reflection says, you're right.

And then we'll brush each other's teeth and trim each other's moustaches and comb each other's hair.

And then step through the mirror and once again switch places in each other's mirrored world for the day.

I'll drive my car slowly into the parking lot of Tourniquet, and then I'll call my son to tell him I love him and that I remembered his name, which I can do most days.

And then I'll sigh heavily and I'll put on my toque and my jacket and do my job.

Oh, well, it is such a blessing to have a career that you love.

So, what can the diners expect at this rare culinary event?

Well, we will start with quail salad with a fig and orange milk dressing, followed by a large amount of quail eggs dropped from the ceiling.

Then pasta made entirely from beaks.

Then the main course in which I'll use a bullhorn to recite instructions for gutting and cleaning while each diner is given a live quail and a brick.

Oh.

Oh, it says your press release says the dinner begins at 7.30.

7.30 p.m.

on the dot.

Now, this is one of the coolest parts of the whole night.

It's right at 7:30 when all of the diners from last year's event will finally be released from the kitchen

and sent back to their old lives.

Oh, well, that sounds fun.

Oh, the sounds.

There

are so

many

sounds, Cecil.

There are so many things

to hear

and to deal with.

Yes, there are a lot of sounds, Earl.

Thankfully, my job is to talk and not to listen.

It is great to have you on the show, Earl.

Let's do this again soon, okay?

Bye-bye, Cecil.

I'll talk to you soon.

All right.

Bye, Earl.

The Investigators.

Two hours of brand new Night Vale.

Available now on iTunes and at nightvale.bandcamp.com.

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.

In the car,

gym,

even sleeping.

So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.

She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.

Sort of.

You were made to scream from the front row.

We were made to quietly save you more.

Expedia, made to travel.

Savings vary and subject to availability, flight inclusive packages are at all protected.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unschooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-season, and case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone.

From Grease to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks.

We've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look.

And we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hi, we're Meg Bashwiner.

And Joseph Fink.

Of Welcome to Night Vale.

And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the golden age of television.

To do that, we're watching the IMDb viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows: the episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost, the episode of The X-Files, where Scully gets attacked by a vicious house cat, and also the really good episodes, too.

What can we learn from the best and worst of great television?

Like, for example, is it really a bad episode, or do people just hate women?

The best worst available wherever you get your podcasts.