Bonus Episode 4 - Pamela Winchell

and I don't just write Welcome to Nightville, we also write books that are not about Nightville, and here are some of them.

Alice Isn't Dead, a lesbian road trip horror love story for fans of Stephen King.

The Halloween Moon, my book for kids of any age about a Halloween where things really start to get weird for everyone.

The First 10 Years, a memoir from me and my wife about our relationship told year by year without consulting each other about our differences in memory.

And from Jeffrey, You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, an apocalyptic novel that takes place in the same universe as the Within the Wires podcast.

No matter what you're looking for, we've written a book just for you.

Find them where you find books.

Okay, bye.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday Season 2 to drop on Netflix, then I'll let you in on a secret.

The Wednesday Season 2 official wokeast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video Podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course, Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday season 2 official wocast is available in audio and video on todoom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

Here's what you're about to hear.

Hello, I'm Jeffrey Fink, and this is Welcome to Nightvale, and we are on hiatus this month.

You can tell we're on hiatus because we released an episode.

This episode is very short, and here is what it is.

It's an unreleased clip from our previous touring live show featuring the incredible Desiree Birch as Nightvale Director of Emergency Press Conferences, Pamela Winchell.

Yes, this is finally the day where you get to hear one of her emergency press conferences for yourself, and Desiree will be taking part in our live tour this September in the UK and Ireland, so you can get a little taste of what that might be like.

It'll be, you know, different words and stuff, don't worry.

But speaking of live shows, I have some big news for Canadian and American listeners.

We are bringing the Welcome to Nightville live show your way this October and November.

We are coming to Montreal, Toronto, Winnipeg, our first ever show in Manitoba, Edmonton, Vancouver, Sacramento, San Diego, Denver, Oklahoma City, Austin, and Madison, Wisconsin.

The city so nice they named it.

Tickets for all of these shows go on sale Friday, July 10th at noon local time.

The tour will feature live music by Disparition, special guest stars, weather by Eliza Rickman, and, of course, Cecil himself.

By the way, right at the top of the tour, we'll be back in Minneapolis for the first ever NerdCon, October 9th and 10th, and if you can get to this thing, you should.

The lineup of fantastic storytellers is...

It's fantastic.

Maybe you don't live in Canada or America because you live in the UK or Ireland or somewhere else in Europe and you want to see a live show.

Well, as I said, we'll be there in September and tickets are already on sale.

So check out WelcomeTonightfail.com and click on live shows for a complete list of dates and venues in the UK, Ireland, Canada, and the US happening this September, October, and November.

Look, chances are, if you exist, we will exist near you soon.

Unless you happen to exist on any of the five continents we are not currently going to.

Oh, one last thing.

Remember when we said we'll be at San Diego Comic-Con and we'll tell you the specifics of what we're doing later?

Guess Guess what?

It's later.

So, Jeffrey and I will be hosting a panel on Friday, July 10th at 8 p.m.

about the upcoming Welcome to Nightville novel.

Then, on Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m., there will be a Welcome to Nightville party hosted by Tumblr with a variety of Nightville activities and also food, and you don't even need a badge to get in.

Wow.

Finally, all weekend, there will be Nightville giveaways at the HarperCollins booth and at the Tapatico booth, a Comic-Con exclusive poster and shirt designed by the ever-great Jessica Hayworth.

Just wait till you see these things.

I was blown away when I saw them.

I know that's a lot to take in, so go to welcome to nightfail.com and click on live shows to get all those details.

Finally, our website has links to pre-order that Nightfale novel I mentioned, which comes out October 20th.

We're so excited for this book.

We've never had to wait so long to share something we wrote, so please pre-order it now so you too can share in our agonizing anticipation.

This has been Joseph Kraner.

Thanks for listening.

In response to the murderer on the loose situation, Mayor Dana Cardinal has sent her official Night Vale Director of Emergency Press Conferences to issue an emergency press conference.

Unfortunately, the press conference gazebo is currently on fire.

due to routine maintenance.

So, this press conference will be held right here in our studio.

Please welcome former mayor Pamela Winshall.

Hello, members of the Press Corps.

Hello, people of the public.

Hello, visiting dignitaries, wandering spirits, and hidden royalty disguised as local farmers due to troubles in their home country.

I would like to start this emergency press conference with a joke.

Okay, so what did the dog say to the bartender?

Death is just a tone of soil.

But then, my friends, so is life!

Hold any laughter for the end of the presentation, please.

Citizens, there is a murderer among us striking at us from the shadows.

Yeah, so what?

This morning, my wrist was sore.

I don't know why.

I woke up and it was sore.

Does anyone know why?

If you know why, please notify a town official.

I think it's probably a joint thing.

Maybe you'll all make it through today.

Maybe you won't.

I mean, what am I?

Some kind of expert on you?

I'm not.

I don't think.

Well, I might be.

You know, it has been a long time since college, and I don't remember what it was that I studied.

Plants?

Are plants a thing?

Pure fiction.

Okay, not that then.

It is important in times of emergency to remain calm.

This won't keep you safe.

Whatever was going to happen to you will happen to you anyway.

But you will be less irritating to those around you as it happens.

People usually make such a fuss and a bunch of noise when in mortal danger.

And some of us are trying to read right now.

Thank you.

Maybe the reading is why my wrist is sore.

I should have stretched more before doing something that takes this much hard physical labor.

Mayor Cardinal asked me to come to speak to you.

I have come to tentatively respect Mayor Cardinal, although I maintain a slight suspicion that she may be a number of super sentient lizards in a meat costume.

I have the same suspicion toward all people, including myself.

Anyway, Mayor Cardinal asked me to relay some important emergency info to all of you.

So, here it is.

On the edge of the known universe is a campfire, and around it are three figures, indistinct and huddling, refugees from the universe before our own.

They will never be able to return home, and metaphorically, neither will any of us.

We are all metaphorically huddled around a campfire.

at the edge of the known universe.

But in literal terms, only those three figures are.

And no one knows their names.

And no one ever will.

The Nightingale Municipal Government hopes that this emergency information was helpful to you.

As always, if you are in need of assistance, please don't bother me.

Thank you, Cecil.

I will now step into the circle I drew in the sand with my big toe and vanish in a flash of green smoke.

Well, thank you very much.

And

yep, there she goes.

Flash of green smoke.

Looks like she still has a little bit of that mayoral power left inside her.

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of commonplace books.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner.

The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin.

The voice of Pamela Winchell was Desiree Birch.

See her her one woman show, Tar Baby, this summer in New York City and Edinburgh.

And see her with the Welcome to Night Vale live show in the UK and Ireland this fall.

Original music by Disparition.

All of it can be found at disparition.info or at disparition.bandcamp.com.

Comments, questions, email us at info at welcometonightvale.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio.

Check out welcometonightvale.com for more information on this show as well as all sorts of cool Night Vale stuff you can own.

And while you're there, consider clicking that donate link.

That'd be cool of you.

Today's proverb, Dodge Ram.

Good car, even better advice.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unschooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Grease to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks.

We've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look.

And we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unschooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hey y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the boston new york city area going all the way over to the upper midwest in minnesota that's in july you kind of draw a line through there and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting uh we'll also be doing philly down to florida in september and we'll be going from austin all the way up through the middle of the country into toronto canada in october and then uh we'll be doing the west coast plus the southwest plus colorado in january of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcome to nightvale.com slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the Die Hard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a night veil is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcome welcometonightvale.com/slash to

live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live U.S.

plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightveld.com/slash live.

And hey, see you soon.