51 - Rumbling

Hey hey, Jeffrey Kraner from welcome to Night Vale here.

Apart from Night Vale, we make other podcasts.

If you're already a big Night Vale fan, check out Good Morning Night Vale, where cast members Meg Bashwiner, Symphony Sanders, and Hal Lublin break down each and every episode.

Or if you're looking for more weird fiction, there's Within the Wires, an immersive fiction podcast written by me and novelist Janina Mathewson.

Each season is a standalone tale told in the guise of found audio.

Finally, maybe you like horror movies or are scared of horror movies but are horror curious, check out Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9, where me and the voice of Night Vale Cecil Baldwin talk about a randomly drawn horror film.

We have new episodes every single week.

So that's Good Morning Nightvale Within the Wires and Random Horror 9.

Go to nightvalepresents.com for more or get those podcasts wherever you get your podcasts.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday Season 2 to drop on Netflix, then I'll let you in on a secret.

The Wednesday Season 2 official official Wocast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video Podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta-Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course, Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday season two official wocast is available in audio and video on todoom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

Look, up in the sky.

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's a cloud.

It's a moon.

Also, some stars.

There are so many things in the sky.

Welcome to Night Vale.

New Nightvale Mayor and former intern at this very station, Dana Cardinal, announced today that she wants to open the dog park for public use.

Said Dana, or I guess I should start saying Mayor Cardinal, dog parks should be used for dogs and owners to exercise and play.

A dog park should be a fun gathering place for citizens to meet and socialize, not a secretive patch of municipal darkness full of conspiracy warning signs.

Only moments into her announcement, the city council entered the press room, walking in synchronous steps, hips together, teeth apart, blocking the view of reporters and photographers and unplugging the mayor's microphone.

The council shuffled away to the council chambers, taking the mayor with them.

20 minutes later, Mayor Cardinal re-emerged, wearing several large ivory rings and a long cerulean cape.

She announced that dogs are not allowed in the dog park.

People are not allowed in the dog park.

You may see hooded figures in the dog park.

But not for long, as there are now plans to reinforce the fence around the dog park.

Oh, listeners, guess who we've got on the phone line now?

I'll give you a hint.

He saved Night Vale a few weeks ago by shutting out a great terror trying to invade us from another world.

It wasn't just me.

Also, he's my boyfriend and a scientist.

And I miss him.

I miss you too.

That's right.

My boyfriend is a hero.

Please welcome to our show, Carlos the Scientist.

You're too much.

Listeners, Carlos had to stay behind in whatever strange desert otherworld, which was very brave of him, even though he's now very far away from people that love him.

Any luck getting back through to Night Vale?

Not yet.

Oh, but I've been exploring this strange rumbling noise here.

It's the same rumbling noise we heard when that terrible light was coming into Night Vale.

Are you safe?

Is everything okay?

Actually, there it is again.

When we shut the doors, the rumbling and the unbearably bright light went away.

This empty desert with the mountain and the lighthouse and the large wandering army all seemed so normal, you know?

But last night the rumbling returned.

There it is again.

I need to grab my instruments.

I.

I can't hear it.

I'll call you back.

No, no, Carlos, I.

Every time, I never know when you'll call back.

Well,

speaking of the town being safe, our neighboring town, Desert Bluffs, ran a full-page ad in the Sunday extra large imagination edition of the Night Vale Daily Journal this week that said,

I imagined,

thank you for having us, Night Vale.

Best of luck in your future.

I can't tell if that's an exclamation point or a question mark there.

What a weird font.

It's like someone put paint or some other thick liquid on the tip of a sharp finger and then hand wrote this ad.

It's just like that.

Then at the bottom, it has a photo of your face, dear listener, and the same finger painted lettering that reads, Blessings from a Smiling God.

Wow.

Where did they get that photo of you?

Although honestly, it's not a bad photo.

I mean, you look just adorable when you're sleeping.

I know this farewell ad may seem like a kind gesture, but good riddance to those monsters.

No one is happier than me to see us run desert bluffs out of town.

Meanwhile, there has been a lot of construction noise, bike horns, seesaws, parrot shrieking, etc.

from the old Strex Corp headquarters at the lip of Radon Canyon.

Several tall beings with wings, who all introduced themselves as Erika, were seen hanging around outside, while a sheriff's secret police representative ran frantically between onlookers, putting her hand over each person's eyes and shouting, You're not seeing anything real!

Well, I for one am excited to learn what these, of course, completely non-existent angels plan to do with the huge, malevolent corporation they purchased.

Oh, also, I stopped by the Office of Station Management.

Seems like our community radio station was purchased back from Strexcorp by our original owners.

whom I have never met

or seen, and who until recently had run this radio station for centuries.

It's nice to have all these familiar faces back, or not faces, more like muffled screams and chattering echoes and pulsing orange lights surrounding dark stone doors that are never in the same place you remember them being.

Just a quick stroll past the new old boss's office brought me back to the good old days as I crumbled to the floor, struck numb and blind with flashes of hideous daydreams, a history's worth of deaths that were not my own.

How great to be back to the way we were.

Oh, the good old days.

The fearful, terrible,

deadly

good old days.

days.

Oh, my phone's buzzing.

Carlos?

Hello, Carlos, are you back on the line?

Yes.

So, there's a lighthouse here in the desert.

It's on top of a tall mountain.

And there's a blinking red light on the top of this lighthouse.

And this blinking red light always blinks, okay?

That's what it does.

But now that the rumbling has returned...

Can you hear the rumbling from your end, Cecil?

No.

It's very loud.

But when the rumbling happens, the blinking red light stops blinking.

It just stays on.

What do you think that means?

I don't know.

I've talked with some of the army of men and women and others who roam about this desert, and they look frightened.

They have never seen the blinking light stop blinking.

It is what a blinking light is supposed to do, and fear is what happens when a thing that has always behaved one way does not behave that way at all.

They run and hide now when they hear the rumbling and see the static red light up on the mountain.

I too am starting to feel scared.

Carlos, remember how you got into that desert in the first place?

You went through a door in a house that did not seem to exist.

Have you found any of those doors yet?

Not yet, no.

Carlos, look for those doors.

There must be at least one left somewhere.

I'll start looking very soon, okay?

But listen, Cecil, I'd really like to figure out this rumbling/slash red light thing.

I'm a scientist.

I need to discover/slash understand things.

It's what I do.

But couldn't you look for the door while you figure it out?

I'll look for the door some tomorrow.

For sure, I will.

Well, that's not what I was.

The rumbling's gone.

Did you hear that?

I've got to run.

I need to find Doug.

Who's Doug?

Wait, Carlos, who's Doug?

Carlos?

Okay.

Well,

I guess let's just have a look at today's horoscopes.

Leo.

Need a penny?

Take a penny.

Have a penny?

Take another penny.

Pennies are worthless, but go ahead and take them all.

Build a great fortune only to have its great copper weight crush your lifeless pauper body.

Virgo.

Don't shoot the messenger, Virgo.

It's noisy and will alert others of your crime.

Lure the messenger inside.

Make sure no one saw him come in.

Choose something quieter than a gun.

Perhaps suffocation or an accidental fall.

Really plan these things out.

Stop being so trigger-happy.

Virgo.

Libra.

Do you believe in ghosts?

You don't?

Well, won't you be surprised when you wake up in the middle of the night tonight?

Scream loud enough so the neighbors can hear you.

Scorpio.

You are respected by your peers.

You are a great thinker and leader.

You...

Wait, what is this?

This is definitely not the right reading for a Scorpio.

It must be a typo.

I bet the stars meant to say...

You should hear what they're saying about you.

Very funny things, Scorpio.

They're saying very funny things at your expense, you jerk.

Yep, that's definitely what the stars meant to say.

Sagittarius.

The best revenge is living well.

The second best is tasteless, slow-acting poison.

Maybe it's more of a tie.

Either way, you got wronged, and you need to set things right, Sagittarius.

Capricorn.

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Which is better than to have never loved at all, but also somehow lost a love, thus creating a paradox.

Paradoxes are bad, Capricorn.

Be careful, or logic will destroy you.

Aquarius.

Your boyfriend is trapped in an alternate desert dimension.

It is difficult to say when he will return.

Perhaps take up drinking while crying in a quiet room.

Wow, that's a very specific and

painful horoscope.

Thanks for nothing, stars.

Pisces.

A train leaves a station traveling west at 40 miles per hour.

Another train leaves a station traveling east at 60 miles per hour.

These two trains left on different days, in different years, in different countries.

How long until the passengers acknowledge their own impermanence?

Aries.

I think they saw you, Aries.

Hold still.

They cannot see you if you do not move.

Shhh.

Don't move.

Don't move.

Don't.

Nope, they saw you.

So long, Aries.

Taurus.

Someone misses you a lot, Taurus.

And even though you have nothing but endless time, trapped out in a nightmarish desert hellscape, You have a hard time making a phone call longer than 10 minutes.

Maybe call a bit more than you do, Taurus.

Yep,

that's just some astrological advice from the stars.

Gemini.

You know those eight spiders a year you eat in your sleep?

Well, they add up.

They are all organizing a pretty dramatic escape.

Very soon, Gemini.

Very soon.

Cancer.

The ocean is vast, you convince yourself, walking alone between the trees.

The sky is endless.

You mutter repeatedly, trying to finally lull yourself to sleep.

Matter can neither be created nor destroyed, you contemplate despite not understanding the first part of the statement.

What's on the food network tonight?

You say aloud to a stranger you have known for years

this has been today's horoscopes

ah he's calling in again carlos cecil the rumbling has started again the mountain is moving up and down like breathing There are creaks and groans in the earth in the stones that together sound like a growl, an undulating snarl of something much bigger than anything that should ever be able to to snarl.

Cecil, this is a strange place, and considering where I've lived for the past couple years, that says a lot.

I know Dana used to be trapped here and she has told you about it.

I mean, I used to wonder how she could call and text you from this place for an entire year with no cell towers or power outlets.

But I've been here for weeks and I have three bars, only 4G, but still, and 97% battery, which was the charge I had when I came through the door in the house that doesn't exist.

In a temporary peace between the rumblings, I walked with some of the desert army toward a small patch of discolored sand.

We found a swath of damp dirt, just a handful of red mud, and in that mud were several tiny white bones.

Looked like long legs and short wings of a creature I can't even imagine.

I look forward to figuring out exactly what this is.

I'll be able to imagine it then.

Carlos, I don't think it's safe there.

Listen, I want you to find a way to- Cecil, nothing and nowhere is safe.

But there are things greater than us, greater than all of this.

So you can't see it, but I just made a big sweeping hand gesture to indicate everything in the universe.

And there are people who must learn about it all, how it all works and why.

This is what what we call science.

Yes, I know what science is.

And I am a scientist.

Okay, I understand.

It's just...

It's just that I miss you.

And.

Oh.

Oh my.

The building is shaking.

You can feel it?

You can feel the rumbling?

Oh, this is exciting.

Wait, this is new.

The ground is moving very quickly.

There is a large lump churning the sand up and down.

I'm leaning out over this ledge to get a better view of this fantastic event and ow!

Carlos, what happened?

I got hit.

What is that?

Is that a rock?

Ow!

Carlos!

Cecil, the rocks are coming down.

They're coming down the side of this hill.

I need to take cover.

I need to find a

Carlos.

Carlos?

Listeners, while the earth still shakes, take shelter.

This does not feel like one of our government-scheduled earthquakes, but if I were you, I would still do as the earthquake safety mascot, Duncan the Brown Recluse Spider always says.

I'm small and I hide a lot, so it's easy to be safe.

And with that, I take you now to the weather.

They call me Echo.

My voice is real, but not my own.

It only shows what I've been shown.

I am the echo in the hills

and through the canyon.

They hear I love you,

they hear I love

you.

He sits by the water

His reflection to admire

A face that needs no other

He whispers, I love you

and through the canyon,

they hear I love you,

they hear I love you.

And as the wind waves,

he speaks the words the canyon takes.

And I speak the words the canyon makes

for I am the echo in the hills

And through the canyon

They hear I love you

They hear I love

you

And through the canyon

They hear I love you

They hear I love

you

I hear I love you.

I say I love you too.

I hear I love you.

I love you.

I say I love you too.

I hear love you, I love you

I say I love you too

They call me echo

I ain't the echo in the hills

I ain't the echo in the hills

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We come together to host Unschooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone.

From Greece to the Dark Knight.

So, if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unschooled wherever you get your podcast.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Carlos, are you there?

Carlos?

I'm here.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

A scientist is always fine.

Doug was really helpful.

Who is Doug?

He's one of the members of this great masked army.

He must be a captain of some sort, given his size and the respect he appears to garner.

As the rocks and boulders came down, Doug picked up a large flat stone and held it above us.

The rocks bounced off his makeshift shield.

Unfortunately, I dropped my phone.

I smashed the phone something good.

I thought I lost you for a while there, Cecil.

I was despairing that my one way to reach you would be lost for who knows how long.

But then, you know what?

Something really amazing happened.

Something tremendous.

The phone healed itself.

Oh, that's...

that's great.

It is great.

But phones don't just heal themselves.

This is another scientific mystery I can't wait to get to the bottom of.

Where is Doug now?

Oh, I don't know.

He's probably back at the encampment.

They're a nomadic army.

Sometimes they are here, sometimes not.

I don't really have time to make new friends.

They're nice people, but there is a lot of work for me to do here.

And the only person I truly care about isn't in this desert anyway.

I do not know what the rumbling is.

I do not know why some doors work and others do not.

I do not know why my phone never loses battery power and can heal itself.

I do not know how long it will take me to pursue this knowledge.

But I do know two things.

What is that?

I love you.

I love you too.

What's the other thing?

You just said it.

Cecil, I have to go.

Be patient with me.

We have our phones.

We have our voices.

And you have the best voice of them all.

Thanks for being on the air with me.

We did almost the entire show together.

We can still do things together, even in absence.

I'll be back again soon.

Find that door, Carlos.

I will, but first I need to see if the red light is blinking again or not.

Okay.

Bye, Carlos.

Listeners, I wish I could tell you where the rumbling came from.

and that we are safe from it.

The sheriff's secret seismology team announced that today's rumbling, which caused quite a bit of structural damage and knocked out power for one-third of the town, did not register at all on the Richter scale, which is a thing seismologists use to assign two-dimensional numbers to complex multi-dimensional physical events.

But...

The upshot is, we are all alive for however many two-dimensional numbers we have left.

Stay tuned next for the sound of future becoming the present, becoming the past, in no time at all.

And as always,

good night, Night Vale.

Good night.

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of commonplace books.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Joseph Fink.

The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin.

The voice of Carlos was Dylan Marin.

Original music by Disparition.

All of it can be found at disparition.info or at disparition.bandcamp.com.

This episode's weather was Echo in the Hills by Carrie Elkin and Danny Schmidt.

Find out more at carrieelkin.com or at danny schmidt.com.

Comments, questions, email us at nightvale at commonplacebooks.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio.

Check out welcometonightvale.com for more information on this show as well as all sorts of cool nightvale stuff you can own.

And while you're there, consider clicking the donate link.

That'd be cool of you.

Today's proverb, everything that happens happens for a reason.

Except ostriches.

With the hellman.

Hey all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You kind of draw a line through there, and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September.

And we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada, in October.

And then we'll be doing the West Coast plus the Southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcometonightvale.com slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the diehard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a Night Vale is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvale.com/slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live U.S.

plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightvale.com/slash live.

And hey, see you soon.