45 - A Story About Them

34m
The title of this episode seems familiar to you.

Weather: "Pretty Little Head" by Eliza Rickman, elizarickman.com.

Music: Disparition, disparition.info.

Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.

Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.

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Press play and read along

Runtime: 34m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Welcome to Night Vale has a lot of really amazing merch, and it's all at welcometonightvale.com.

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Speaker 2 This is a story about them,

Speaker 4 says the man on the radio.

Speaker 2 And you are concerned, because this is not a story you were ever supposed to hear.

Speaker 8 Welcome to Night Vale.

Speaker 9 This is a story about them.

Speaker 3 They sit in a car much like your own, perhaps.

Speaker 11 Do you drive a black sedan with tinted windows, into which innocent people disappear forever?

Speaker 14 Then it is very, very much like your own.

Speaker 5 There are two men in the car.

Speaker 4 The man who is not tall watches a house through the window. He makes no attempt to hide what he is doing.

Speaker 9 The car is similarly clear about its existence.

Speaker 17 What they do is secret, but there is no need to hide it.

Speaker 22 Not in this town.

Speaker 25 For instance, This day, the radio has just started narrating what they do as they do it, for all to hear.

Speaker 17 The man who is not tall glances down at the radio, not annoyed or concerned or afraid.

Speaker 29 He just looks at it, because that is what his eyes do right then.

Speaker 30 And then he looks back at the house as the man on the radio says that he looks back at the house.

Speaker 29 The one who is not short is supposed to be watching the house as well.

Speaker 32 Four eyes are better than two.

Speaker 32 Seven eyes are better than three,

Speaker 1 and so on.

Speaker 5 But he is not watching the house.

Speaker 18 He is looking down at a crossword puzzle, on which he has just written teeth for the fifth time.

Speaker 20 This iteration fits neatly into the horizontal of another.

Speaker 15 He considers the crossword for a long moment.

Speaker 12 His partner only considers the house.

Speaker 18 He, the one with the crossword, turns to the other and begins to say, what is a five-letter word for the discrete bone structures attached?

Speaker 14 But he is cut off.

Speaker 20 There he is, says the one who is not tall.

Speaker 4 They exit the car and approach a man who is leaving his house.

Speaker 23 The man does not appear surprised to see them.

Speaker 17 People rarely are.

Speaker 31 What is this?

Speaker 34 He says, but he leaves a period at the end of the sentence, not a question mark.

Speaker 20 They take the man and put a blindfold over his eyes, and they put him in the car.

Speaker 9 This is not a story about the man.

Speaker 15 You don't care about him.

Speaker 24 The two men and the car, along with the other blindfolded man, leave Coyote Corners, a quiet development of old tract homes, the same way they had come.

Speaker 33 Openly, not thought about, feared,

Speaker 14 secret.

Speaker 4 I was thinking of inviting you to dinner, says the one who is not short.

Speaker 22 He often voices what he is thinking of doing and rarely does any of those things.

Speaker 12 That would have been nice, says the one who is not tall.

Speaker 14 Yes, it would have been, says the other, a tad dreamily, perhaps.

Speaker 27 That is not an adverb that is supposed to crop up in a car of this description.

Speaker 3 Few adverbs are.

Speaker 20 Says the man with the hood over his head.

Speaker 39 Forget him.

Speaker 2 This is a story about them.

Speaker 3 That part of their work done, they drive to the moonlight all-night diner.

Speaker 12 It is not night, but the neon is on, an insubstantial wisp of green in a larger, insubstantial wisp of blue.

Speaker 4 They are narrated along by the radio, until the man who is not tall turns it off.

Speaker 4 In the parking lot, the man who is not short looks up.

Speaker 18 Hey, what is that?

Speaker 12 he says, indicating the clear nothing nothing of the sky.

Speaker 18 What is what?

Speaker 14 says the other.

Speaker 17 I saw something, he says, for a moment, just there, for a moment.

Speaker 34 He points again.

Speaker 4 Again there is nothing.

Speaker 20 There couldn't have been less.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sure it was,

Speaker 4 continues the man who is not short.

Speaker 2 but he does not say what he is sure it was.

Speaker 3 The man who is not tall considers his partner for a moment and shakes his head.

Speaker 8 Inside the diner, inside a booth.

Speaker 13 After menus and waters, they dig into matching turkey clubs.

Speaker 12 The diner smells like rubber and bread. The man on the radio tells them this quietly from staticky speakers set into a foam-tile ceiling.

Speaker 31 Read any good books lately?

Speaker 4 says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 3 Of course not says the other.

Speaker 9 Good says the first.

Speaker 12 Bites of sandwich, bits of thyme.

Speaker 37 I've done the living room in a different colour, says the other, who is not short.

Speaker 18 It was one colour, it is now different.

Speaker 22 I hope that I will feel differently as a result.

Speaker 17 Hm,

Speaker 9 says the first.

Speaker 22 He never knows what to say to things like that.

Speaker 23 He wishes he did. He offers the man who is not short some fries, instead, to indicate what he feels about their friendship, but cannot say.

Speaker 4 The man who is not short eats a couple.

Speaker 23 He knows what the man who is not tall means by offering the fries, because they have worked together a long time, and also because the radio explained it to him just then.

Speaker 3 Outside, the blindfolded man sits in the car, the desert heat trapped within by the glass.

Speaker 39 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 31 After lunch, the three men drive to the industrial part of town, which was set aside by the city council to be the industrial part of town some time ago.

Speaker 5 Yes, the council said, this area around here will be pretty industrial.

Speaker 13 Warehouses and factories and things like that.

Speaker 5 Some graffiti and chain link fences.

Speaker 15 They cut a ribbon that they were carrying with them.

Speaker 11 The council always carries a ribbon for that purpose.

Speaker 14 The car pulls into a warehouse.

Speaker 11 The radio is back on and still talking about them.

Speaker 15 The warehouse is cavernous and full of crates.

Speaker 12 Some of them tick.

Speaker 11 Others do not.

Speaker 11 They form an angled hillscape of of corners and flats, up and away in every direction.

Speaker 39 The warehouse smells like rotting wood and dryer sheets.

Speaker 27 Their supervisor waits for them with crossed arms and a cross expression.

Speaker 22 A disgrace, she says.

Speaker 12 Let me tell you something, she says, and says nothing more.

Speaker 24 The two men indicate the blindfolded man in the back seat of the car.

Speaker 17 Ah,

Speaker 17 ah,

Speaker 20 she says, waving vaguely at the blindfolded man.

Speaker 12 Someone has to be to blame, she says, pointing at everything but herself.

Speaker 22 It was very simple, she says.

Speaker 18 We take buildings from the miniature city we discovered under the bowling alley.

Speaker 20 We put them in crates.

Speaker 33 We ship the crates out to various warehouses in the desert, and, as as a result, our interests are furthered.

Speaker 12 It could not be more simple.

Speaker 4 The man who is not short is not paying attention.

Speaker 1 Something has caught his eye.

Speaker 10 It is so dark and distant what he sees.

Speaker 22 It seems like it cannot possibly be real.

Speaker 22 Hey, look at that.

Speaker 22 He says, pointing at what he sees.

Speaker 23 The man who is not tall and their supervisor look where he is pointing.

Speaker 11 There is nothing but the ceiling of the warehouse with some dust and light in between.

Speaker 32 Very good, says the supervisor.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 31 Good, says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 13 They turn back to each other.

Speaker 1 Oh, is it?

Speaker 4 says the man who is not short.

Speaker 34 He squints up at what he sees.

Speaker 22 I was worried that it wasn't very good at all.

Speaker 30 Anyway,

Speaker 31 says the supervisor, now the city has declared war in revenge, although they haven't yet figured out it was us stealing the buildings.

Speaker 13 They just declared a general war, in the name of their god, Hunto Kar, on everyone from the upper world,

Speaker 15 as they call us.

Speaker 20 This war has been raging for almost a year now.

Speaker 16 People have died, yes, but listen.

Speaker 3 People die all the time for all different kinds of reasons.

Speaker 39 I wouldn't worry if I were you.

Speaker 32 Hold on, says the supervisor.

Speaker 12 She mumbles instructions into a walkie-talkie, and a series of yes, sirs, and no, sirs, and hawk-shrieking sounds come in response.

Speaker 31 Sorry, she says when she is done.

Speaker 12 I didn't have to do that now.

Speaker 21 It wasn't urgent at all.

Speaker 31 I understand,

Speaker 31 says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 3 He understands the second most of the three people in the room.

Speaker 20 And then the voice on the radio coming from the car changes its story.

Speaker 1 They all notice.

Speaker 20 They are told by the radio that they are noticing before they notice, because that part of the narration happens before the story changes.

Speaker 20 Even the man on the radio does not know why he changes the story or where this other story comes from.

Speaker 31 He does not always understand everything he does.

Speaker 13 Sometimes he does understand,

Speaker 12 but he hides it from you.

Speaker 6 In any case, here is a new story, one he tells without regard for why he is telling it.

Speaker 3 Somewhere else, not here,

Speaker 6 there is a woman wandering a desert, a desert not unlike this one, but not like this one either.

Speaker 12 It's not the same desert.

Speaker 27 I need to clarify that.

Speaker 6 Also with her are great masked warriors, women and men of enormous size, who listen as she speaks and follow her as she walks.

Speaker 20 She is winning them over because she has survived so much.

Speaker 18 She is young, but in her experience she is as lost and scared and ancient as the rest of them.

Speaker 9 Her feet hurt.

Speaker 27 They hurt.

Speaker 17 She keeps walking, and they keep following.

Speaker 13 Beyond her, no longer just on the horizon, much closer than that, is a light spreading across the desert.

Speaker 7 The light is alive and malicious and vast and encroaching.

Speaker 9 It buzzes and shines and everything about it hurts those who are close to it.

Speaker 32 and destroys those who are within it.

Speaker 18 It spreads not just in the desert I am talking about, it spreads in different forms in deserts not unlike it.

Speaker 20 In deserts very similar to the one I am talking about now,

Speaker 18 not always in the same form, not always as light at all,

Speaker 7 but with the same intent to devour

Speaker 15 everything

Speaker 8 until there is nothing left.

Speaker 27 It is is a smiling god of terrible power and ceaseless appetite.

Speaker 40 The woman wanders the desert, followed by the masked warriors. They look back at the light on the horizon, and they know that the time when it will reach their little patch of land is coming.

Speaker 32 and so many other little patches of land as well.

Speaker 13 Soon they will have have to turn.

Speaker 11 Soon, they will have to face it head on.

Speaker 6 And not just that woman and her desert.

Speaker 6 Not just her at all.

Speaker 13 The man on the radio returns to the story about them.

Speaker 37 He does not know how he knew what he just said.

Speaker 23 Or why he would tell it to you.

Speaker 34 He is innocent and kind.

Speaker 12 But anyway, this is a story about them, and so you do not care about anyone but them.

Speaker 18 They and their supervisor are listening with interest to what just happened on the radio.

Speaker 20 The man who is not tall has taken notes.

Speaker 12 I'll look into that, he says.

Speaker 31 It is exactly as we suspected, he does not say.

Speaker 12 He did not suspect any of that.

Speaker 12 Someone has to be to

Speaker 31 the supervisor says again, gesturing this time directly at the blindfolded man.

Speaker 31 I understand

Speaker 4 completely, says the man who is not tall. Me too, says the man who is not short, although he does not understand.

Speaker 12 He usually does not.

Speaker 31 His partner understands for him, and it all works out okay.

Speaker 40 As they leave the warehouse and the supervisor and the piles of wooden crates, the voice on the radio says something about the weather.

Speaker 40 Hook, light, and sinker, drop it down to the bottom.

Speaker 40 Butterfly flow, flicker saw to the top Kill for the thrill, cut it, stick it where you got em Circle rolling under, running right to the star Where's your mother?

Speaker 40 Fall down dead, dirty my dirty mouth, pretty little head

Speaker 40 I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed Dirty my dirty mouth, pretty little

Speaker 40 Sister, bring your hair and push it down below.

Speaker 40 Catch yourself a look, girl, let it go, go, go.

Speaker 40 Wanna have your baby, but I'm so, so slow.

Speaker 40 Don't you worry, honey, cause I can't stand though.

Speaker 40 But where's your mother?

Speaker 40 Fall down dead. Dirty mine, dirty mind, dirty little head.

Speaker 40 I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed. Dirty mine, dirty most pretty little head.

Speaker 40 take a breath, my heart, and hold your tongue.

Speaker 40 It's just a conk in the ear of all my love.

Speaker 40 Take a breath, my heart, and hold your tongue.

Speaker 40 It's just a cong in the ear of all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love,

Speaker 40 all my love.

Speaker 40 Where's your mother?

Speaker 40 Fall down dead, dirty mud, dirty mouth, pretty little head

Speaker 40 I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed Dirty my dirty mouth, pretty little head

Speaker 40 But where's your mother?

Speaker 40 Fall down dead, dirty mad, dirty mouth, pretty little head

Speaker 1 I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed. Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head.

Speaker 1 But where's your mother? Fall down dead, dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head.

Speaker 1 I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed. Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head.

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Speaker 21 By the time they leave the warehouse, it is night.

Speaker 12 Or maybe the sun has just set early.

Speaker 20 The sunrise that morning had been particularly loud and strenuous.

Speaker 12 You know, says the man who is not short, looking down at his crossword, I worry every time that I'm not going to finish these when I start them.

Speaker 18 The future where I have finished seems so distant from the present where I have started.

Speaker 15 I wouldn't worry about that, says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 9 But you would,

Speaker 30 I know.

Speaker 3 I know you would worry about so many things.

Speaker 15 I do worry about that, about you worrying.

Speaker 25 Do you think everything will turn out all right?

Speaker 12 says the man who is not short.

Speaker 5 I mean everything,

Speaker 9 he says to clarify.

Speaker 1 Absolutely everything

Speaker 9 he says as further clarification.

Speaker 28 Yes,

Speaker 14 says the other. I do.

Speaker 36 He does not.

Speaker 9 I do

Speaker 31 he says again.

Speaker 12 He does not.

Speaker 31 He glares at the radio.

Speaker 13 They drive past the moonlight all night, a glass box of bad food and good people.

Speaker 12 They pass Teddy Williams' Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, badly damaged by the war, but still running its weekly bowling league.

Speaker 29 They pass by City Hall.

Speaker 35 which is covered in a yellow tarp, stamped with an orange triangle.

Speaker 10 Moving farther out, with absolute purpose, they pass by the used car lot, alive with the wolves that populate all car lots at night, and Old Woman Josie's house, silent and empty for months now.

Speaker 12 Then, the town is behind them.

Speaker 21 and they are in the scrublands and the sand wastes.

Speaker 21 They stop the car and get out.

Speaker 21 Pebbles crunch in the sand in response to their movement.

Speaker 31 The radio murmurs behind the closed doors of the car.

Speaker 40 The headlights illuminate only a few stray plants and the wide, dumb eyes of some nocturnal animal.

Speaker 35 The two men don't look back at nightvale.

Speaker 9 They look forward.

Speaker 31 at the darkness that stretches out as far as anyone here can imagine.

Speaker 31 Most anyone here tries to imagine as little as possible.

Speaker 12 There is no need to imagine here.

Speaker 9 Well,

Speaker 36 get him out,

Speaker 4 says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 11 And the man who is not short opens the rear door of the car and guides the blindfolded man out.

Speaker 36 The blindfolded man stumbles a little, but not much.

Speaker 42 And there isn't anything specific he stumbles on.

Speaker 12 He stumbles like a stage direction, like the next in a bulleted list of items.

Speaker 20 Put him over there.

Speaker 4 The man who is not tall says unnecessarily, we all know the drill.

Speaker 8 We all know how this and everything else ends.

Speaker 12 The blindfolded man walks fifteen feet or so in the direction of the darkness, so that the men and the car are between him and the distant dome of light that is night veil.

Speaker 21 He walks to a certain point in the cool sand and then stops,

Speaker 31 partly because the man who is not short guided him there, but mostly because he has taken himself there, as we all eventually take ourselves to that point where we will not be able to take ourselves any farther.

Speaker 31 The man who is not tall, still, by the car,

Speaker 36 pulls out a knife.

Speaker 2 It is not stained, does not look used, but he speaks its brutal history in his posture, in the way he holds it.

Speaker 30 The blindfolded man breathes normally, his shoulders loose,

Speaker 31 his covered face slightly down.

Speaker 21 His feet sink a little in the sand.

Speaker 12 Behind him, in practical terms as far away as anything has ever been, is the town he is from.

Speaker 42 The man who is not short, standing next to the blindfolded man, looks up at the sky.

Speaker 12 The man who is not tall walks up to join them with the knife.

Speaker 1 What

Speaker 1 is that?

Speaker 4 says the man who is not short, pointing at the sky.

Speaker 17 What is

Speaker 17 what?

Speaker 31 says the man who is not tall from just behind him.

Speaker 4 That planet up there, says the man who is not short.

Speaker 44 It's so dark and so close. It's looming.
It's so close. I wonder if I could

Speaker 29 he reaches up.

Speaker 20 The man who is not tall makes a gesture with the hand that holds the knife.

Speaker 38 The man who is not short is no longer reaching up, he is no longer standing up.

Speaker 30 In many ways, he no longer exists at all.

Speaker 3 Someone has to be to blame,

Speaker 4 says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 10 Or no, he sighs this.

Speaker 20 Or no, he thinks it out loud, but it comes out more thought than speech.

Speaker 12 He looks up at a night sky that is absolutely clear of anything but void and stars and the occasional meteor and mysterious lights moving at impossible speeds and the faint glimmer of spy satellites looking back down from the nothing to the something.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry, he says, although not to anyone that still exists and can hear him.

Speaker 20 He just says it, leaves some undirected words in the hot night air, and then returns to the car.

Speaker 7 He may be crying.

Speaker 12 I know if he is or not, but I am choosing not to tell you,

Speaker 12 because this is private information and you have no real need to know it.

Speaker 12 The blindfolded man removes his blindfold and looks down at the man who once was not short

Speaker 7 and now is not anything at all.

Speaker 17 He,

Speaker 12 the man who can see, is also not short.

Speaker 33 He follows the man who is not tall to the car.

Speaker 13 The man, not short, not blindfolded, gets in the passenger seat.

Speaker 33 Always an unpleasant business, he says.

Speaker 31 He does not comment further. He does not need to.

Speaker 15 Looking forward to working with you, says the man who is not tall.

Speaker 20 The same to you,

Speaker 31 says the man who is not short.

Speaker 31 Ah, the same as well

Speaker 17 to you.

Speaker 42 This has been a story about them.

Speaker 1 The radio moves on, news, traffic, political opinions and corrections to political opinions.

Speaker 41 But somewhere in the desert there is one person who does not move on.

Speaker 11 This was also a story about him.

Speaker 13 Stay tuned next for as long as you can until you cannot stay tuned anymore.

Speaker 39 Good night, Night Vale.

Speaker 36 Good night.

Speaker 45 Welcome to Night Vale is a production of commonplace books. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Joseph Fink.
The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin.

Speaker 45 Original music by Disparition. All of it can be found at disparition.info or at disparition.bandcamp.com.
This episode's Weather was Pretty Little Head by Eliza Rickman.

Speaker 45 Find out more at Elizarickman.com. Comments, questions, email us at nightvale at commonplacebooks.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio.

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Speaker 45 That'd be cool of you. Today's proverb.
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Speaker 1 Orange?

Speaker 45 Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say your mother's in the hospital? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Is there anything I can do? Listen, I'll drive you over there. We'll leave right now.
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Speaker 47 i'm amy nicholson the film critic for the la times and i'm paul shear an actor writer and director you might know me from the league veep or my non-eligible for academy award role in twisters we love movies and we come at them from different perspectives Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

Speaker 1 He's too old.

Speaker 45 Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

Speaker 17 It is.

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Speaker 1 Hey y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025. And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour? We are.

Speaker 1 We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota. That's in July.

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Speaker 1 Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvale.com slash live. Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Speaker 1 Get your tickets to our live U.S. plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightveld.com/slash live.
And hey, see you soon.