Trevor Takes On Tokyo

Thank you for being on the podcast.

We agree with that respectful.

You guys have been in Japan how long now?

It's a week.

And how much Japanese have you learned?

All the Japanese I've learned has been food.

Kaya, saying sushi is not speaking Japanese.

No, I mean eating it.

Oh wait, I can say Yamazaki. Come on.
That's a whiskey. Exactly, it's still Japanese though.
You're listening to What Now? The podcast where I chat to interesting people about the conversations taking over our world. This week, we're coming to you from Japan.
Yes, the sushi is as incredible as everyone says it is and yes people do rarely line up single file to get on the subway but this trip has made me question a lot of my beliefs right and not not just about this country but about us as human beings like when should we hang on to what we believe in or who we think we are? And when is it time to change? If you know anything about me, you'll know there's nothing I love more than questioning my own beliefs and getting some of my closest friends to question them with me. And to do that, I'm joined by two of my oldest, dearest friends and best travel buddies.
The official mascot of the Beyonce fan club, Anelem Doda, all the way from South Africa.

And another friend of mine for more than a decade, the well-read and a little too intelligent

Kayad Langer.

He also has the best laugh.

This is What Now?

with Trevor Noah. This episode is brought to you by Ultra Running.

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This is a special episode of the podcast because if you listen to the podcast a lot, you'll know that I have my closest friends from South Africa. We've been friends for going on 20 years.
And for my 40th birthday, we did a special episode where we just talked about friendship, life, us being together, who we are, how we know each other and everything. And it was myself, Anele and Siswe.
Siswe is not with us on this trip stayed in johannesburg to work so we have our other friend who was actually you were standing while we were recording kaya was in the background laughing and people were asking what is that they were like is that a south african bird the harina there's the sound that's the classic sound so um so yeah so i thought you know what since the people love hearing what's going on in our lives i thought we would bring them into something that we've sort of made a tradition yeah which is our travels twice a year yes at the very least at the least and i mean what a travel to tell people about because we're now in japan people well as you see now this podcast has happened with me and you in it right yes japan has also happened with you and i in it that's true That's true. This is our second time.
Kaya's new to Japan. This is your first time, Kaya.
How has it been for you? It has been fantastic. Right? It has been really, really good.
Very different culture because we're loud. Yes.
There have been a number of times when we have been asked to just... I don't think we've been asked.
We've been looked at. Oh, yes.
Oh, but in Kyoto,

you know how our friend Tonisa

will randomly shout out something, right?

Yes.

So we were in...

Remember the bar we were at?

The final bar.

The final bar.

On the 6th.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Tonisa goes...

Nyaga!

They literally, Trevor,

they came up to the table

and they didn't say anything. They just like kind of put their hands like, you know, pressed.
Oh, they were like, yeah, bring it down. Please bring it down.
Bring it down. Do you know what I like about it, though? There's no malice.
They come and they do that and he walks right off. Whereas I think as South Africans, we want to square up, you know.
Oh, yeah. You know, you're like, oh, you're giving me the eye? I can give you the eye right right back you know my favorite thing about being in japan is that it's one of the last places in the world that i that i feel is its own place for better and worse i will say once i was able to travel the world once we were able to travel i would notice that countries would sort of bleed into each other you'd be in spain you'd feel like you're sort of in germany yeah you know what what I mean You'd be in Peru And a lot of it might feel like You're in Argentina Slash somewhere else You're in Chicago The architecture's like Berlin Yes Yes You feel the overlaps I think Japan is like You are coming to our home And therefore you'll do the things That we do in our home You eat what we eat Okay so you know You know what I think it is And that's part of why to have this conversation.
It's like one of the many things I love about traveling with you guys is that we oftentimes will find a thread between the experience we're having, the people we're meeting, the places we're in, and how it ties into our lives. And I felt like in the strangest way, Japan almost makes you ask a few larger questions than just you know travel questions and like one of the overarching questions I found Japan kept on making me ask is at what point should you bend to accommodate others and at what point do you say that no this is who I am or this is who we are and this is the way that we're going to stay? Because when you travel around Japan, when you're in the train cars, they tell you to be quiet.
In an elevator, they say, please keep to yourself. In a restaurant, don't disturb other people.
Even in restaurants, notice how they don't like serving big groups. No.
As soon as it's more than four of you, it's a flat panic yeah there's a bar we went to in tokyo where they straight up said we only take two people and we're like what do you mean you only and the bar was empty yeah and they said we only take two people and so what we did was we all went outside and then we came back two by two With Noah's Ark No But can I tell you This is the irony

Of like we all went outside and then we came back two by two with noah's ark no but can i tell you this is this is the irony of like like how logical japan is we thought because if you did that to me if i owned a bar yeah and i said hey i only take twos no no bigger group and you came in a six if you all came in and drips and drabs i'd be like yo you idiots i know how to count it's the same six get out no here they were like you have followed the rule and they looked at us like we cannot do anything to you because you have followed the rule yeah it's almost like you know the tsa thing yeah when you're flying you know airport security they go you're only allowed to bring 3.4 ounces or 100 milliliters so if you can but if you bring three bottles you can bring two liters if you want you can bring like whole village worth of shampoo. If you're just willing to break it up, they love.
They are. I mean, I remember, look, when we were crossing there, I almost said the robot.
Hey, this is a neatest. The traffic light.
The traffic light. It was red.
There were no cars on the road. Don't you dare.
And we crossed, okay? And then this car from a distance starts ho car from a distance starts scooting. We would have literally been out of sight for that car by the time it came.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. But it was still a thing.
He was so offended. I like the fact that the rules are not only upheld by officials, but by the citizens themselves.
And I feel like that's something I would like for South Africa. Because've been dying to make a citizens arrest.
You know, if you were in America, I feel like you'd be one of those people. I would.
With a gun and goes up to other people's cars and stuff and say, I'm holding you here till the police come. I'm holding you here till the police.
Don't move. Don't move.
Do not move. That's what I feel like you would be doing.
Absolutely. I don't know.
Okay, so here's the thing. On the one hand, I think it's really beautiful that Japan has this idea of rules and following them and everybody has to do the right thing.
But there's a downside to it, right? And you can see which tourist is here on day one and which tourist is here on day seven. Yeah.
Because day one, tourists are like, oh, my God, that's so different. Oh, my God.
And then day seven, tourists are like, but that doesn't make't make sense. But it doesn't make sense.
I just don't understand. It doesn't make sense.
And both are true, by the way. I believe, and I mean, being our second time here as well, is that I've never seen a more extremist culture in my life.
Yes. They live a life of two extremes where it's work extremely hard,

extremely long hours.

Yeah.

You know,

where at work you are void of personality outside of service.

And then when they let loose and,

you know,

then it's,

you know,

it's beverages,

it's drinks,

it's party time.

It's,

it's,

it's their time.

They also go so far out that I almost,

I almost look and I'm like,

how are you going to get back to work tomorrow?

People are folded over.

Yeah.

Like in Tokyo,

people are so wasted.

They,

they,

they have origami themselves.

Yeah.

Human.

I saw people like literally heads up by ankles.

You,

you know what I mean?

But,

but wait,

going backwards.

So let me ask you this question.

I,

I,

I,

I ask this culturally and I also ask this um just personally how do you find moments in your life where you go i should actually change this is me but i should change it and then how do you know the difference between the things you should change and the things you shouldn't change because if you travel to japan you're going to come to a country where in my opinion you're going to be shocked at how advanced they are in so many things and then seemingly behind in other many other things you know what i mean like there's parts of the train station that feel like you're in the year 3000 and then there's other parts where you're using like a kiosk that feels like it's from 1987 yeah and they haven't upgraded it yeah you know what the whole of japan feels like to me it feels like star wars that is have you ever watched that is so true but you've seen the scenes though that is what's the scripted no no no no no no that's star trek that's that track don't don't do that again if you if you watch guro udo yudo yes yoda yoda yeah. Yeah, you were going to get there eventually.
But that's what it feels like. It feels like in Star Wars, everything feels like state of the art.
They've got spaceships, they've got lightsabers, they've got lasers, they've got... But then, like the doors and the people...
They don't have sewerage. Yeah, they don't have sewerage.
But they've got lightsabers. You know what I mean? Like, guys, your priorities are out of check here.
you think as south africans we feel at most home in that because we can be in johannesburg where it is tokyo and everything is like lightsabers and spaceships and then we are in the eastern cape and we are in the heart it's not in the same place yes it's not in the same world okay so all the parts of japan that thrive in my opinion because of their incessant need to be precise and to be perfectionist, I appreciate. I go, the sushi is flawless.
The food here. Forget sushi, guys.
Japan makes your food better than you make it. You think you've had pasta? Come to Japan.
You think you've had chicken? Come to Japan. You think you've had? Come to Japan You think you've had a grape, guys Oh, the best grapes Those grapes are ridiculous The grapes The grapes The mangoes As they say in Japan Wushi But this is all because of the same thing A farmer in Osaka told me On the last night He said to me It was so amazing i said why are your fruits so delicious

and he was when we were buying them and he said because in japan we find the tree that is growing

the best and we cut down the rest and we make sure that that tree is the only one that survives all

the water and nutrients because it is doing the best wow and i was like damn that explains why

you have the best fruit but at the same time it made me so sad because i went damn that explains

why your society is the way it is. Because you can only be the best.
Because you cut down the rest. You get salary men.
You get people who are in obscurity. And then you get a few people in Japan who just are killing it.
And they are like, you know what I mean? Drinking the tea first, walking into the room you know what i mean and that made me realize it's like there is a gift and a curse to everything that you choose in your life you will have the best of something yeah but it's going to come at a cost and so like that thing for me made me really sad and happy and it was it's a it's a it's a conflicted feeling but it's what you and i said to each other in the bar the other night, what has been the price of your success and

feel free to name people

as the collateral to you being successful.

I love that one.

You've got to say that one again.

Anyone listening to this, ask yourself this question.

What has been the

cost of your success

and feel free to name people

as that cost and that price because sometimes your success costs you people around you yeah you know guys can i tell you i think uh is happening yeah it's a wild theory but also i wish the whole world could adopt japanese culture with the freaking toilets they have the best toilets in the freaking world guys i'm sorry okay this is a good moment for a segment we like to call where in the world brought to you by t-mobile who can help you experience travel better they have a whole host of travel perks that you'll love, whether you're on a day trip or your dream trip. And this trip has been a dream, because like we've been talking about, there are so many things about Japan that are so different from any other place in the world, including their toilets.
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Some Japanese toilets have a little nozzle that pops out under your goods and it sprays up, cleans you up, cleans you up. Sometimes they even dry you.
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This is like Toto at the top.

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and then it heats the seats

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And then so,

just so you understand.

It's like no one else

was ever here. No one was here? Also, that's so clean.
Yes. Everywhere you go.
So then when you get up as well, it then flashes without you. Yes, it flashes without you doing anything.
Because clearly somebody in Japan was sick and tired of walking into logs, right? But now, there was one morning I woke up a bit queasy And nauseous So obviously I now have to Go and kiss the porcelain bowl Do you know how difficult it is To just have a Decent puke Because every time you're puking It's flushing in your face I have never thought of that I have never Thought of that So now You don't know you have to time your because if you put pressure on the seat once you lift the pressure off it flushes in your face I was just like can I have it? I wanted to switch it off somewhere like where is the main switch? but you see that's the thing you can You can't. That was Where in the World, brought to you by T-Mobile, who can help you experience travel better with perks like free in-flight Wi-Fi so you can watch your favorite movies from 30,000 feet.
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While we were in Japan, I spoke to the Japanese people that I could, because like Japanese people speak Japanese, which I know sounds like Captain Obvious has dipped into the podcast, but Japanese people speak Japanese. And what I mean by that is like You come here speaking English

You are not getting anywhere

Which is good for them by the way

I'm not saying like English should be the thing, but like, yo, when I spoke to the few Japanese people who were bilingual, they would say to me, almost like they were hoping nobody was watching them. They would look at me and they would be like, they'd be like, yeah, I just, I wish Japan was a little, I wish it was a little more flexible.
And I wish Japan wasn't as tight as it is. And it's weird because everything that has made Japan what it is, think about it.
The technology, right? Your Walkmans, yeah, now we don't think of it. But that was like the beginning of what we consider portable music today.
You know, your PlayStation, your TV, your cars, your air conditioning unit. Japan sort of laid the blueprint for everything we use.
And a lot of their, a lot of them being stuck, a lot of them, you know, that indignation they have for anything that isn't them is why they got to where they got to. But now it feels like it's starting to be the thing that unravels their society so now that i keep coming back to this idea like what's a thing about yourself that you think is a good thing that you think people think is a bad thing about you what a tough question um i think it's a great thing but i'm coming to learn that not entirely is that I, I expect like a hundred percent work ethic from everyone around me all the time.
And I can never understand why I don't mind if you fail. I just mind that you didn't even try or that you didn't apply yourself.
And, and I, and I, and I sit there at work, especially with my TV production and radio, because my immediate team kind of gets it, and I may have assembled them like that, actually. But the more it trickles down, whereas you go into another department, that kind of feeds my department, right? And as soon as balls are dropped on that side, I struggle to let you get away with that.
And then I'm like,'t heads rolling no no no yeah and i i i i don't know how i was i was raised in that work ethic where i kind of expected from everyone else and and with other people it's just like chap it's impossible for me to be here at 10 at night for rehearsal so that's something you think is good i think because you do that yes think it's fantastic. Also for the greater product and the bottom line and we're all employed and we're running after this bottom line.
Guys, if we all want bonuses, we all have to bonus work type of vibe. And I've learned it's not like that.
Has anyone ever said anything to you about it? Only recently. What did someone say? Someone.
But I wasn't in the meeting. My team came to tell me, they're like, hey, when somebody threatened to take you to HR.
Wow. Overworking them.
Yes. And I was like, let's go to HR.
Kids must roll. I was like, I'll see you there.
In fact, HR has a role. Yes.
You know? And honestly, I definitely, definitely understand and believe that the older I get, I have to change. You know, something about you has to change.
But how do you know what the thing is? So in this instance, if you wrote this down on paper for me and you said, I believe that people should give 100%, I would say that that's good. Now, the people around you are like, no, it's a little too intense.
So how do you know that that's?'s Because most things If you think about life And what's been invented Great things that have been created Advancements in science or technology Or even the world It's oftentimes been a person who was relentless And didn't want anything less than Do you know what I mean? Half the people who got on ships And circumnavigated the globe And like you know drew maps i don't think those people were part-time but also what you need to realize is that not everyone can be like that because can you imagine if everyone was christian now there you go we'd have a lot of ships in the ocean yeah and no one back home and it do not make sense and it would not make sense you know but we would have all discovered america how many we're coming coming to America What about you then Do you wish you could Relax on And not be so rigid on Well ironically the thing that I'm Too relaxed about is being relaxed So mine is the other way around You scold yourself for taking a break No I'm the like i am too relaxed i'm always like sometimes i'm a little too zen about everything time things happening or not happening i'm like yo man and i i do think it's something that it became a coping mechanism because of adhd like you know i'm pretty certain my mom had it i had so if you grow up in a house and and a family where can't happen when they're supposed to happen, one of two things will happen to you. You're going to live in a constant state of anxiety or you're going to chill out.
And I was like, yay, chill out. Yes, I'm at school late because my mom dropped me off late.
But I get to school every day. And at some point, I'm used to it.
Yeah, you know what? You get stressed going to the airport,

but yeah, you're going to fly.

It's like all these things.

So my thing is, I'm a little too relaxed,

which I think is a great quality

because I'll never stress anybody out.

But then I'm so relaxed that I stress everybody out.

I was about to say, you would cause me absolute anxiety.

Yeah, so I'm so, I am so, so, so relaxed

that I stress everybody out. But also it's because you say, so you always say no, but we'll solve it.
And that's the thing. And for you, you always say like, maybe I'm like, I'm stressed.
You see me stress. Okay.
Because the whole thing is, I enjoyed this because you see a puzzle. There's a puzzle.
A puzzle to be solved. Oh, no.
Right. We're not at the store.
We are not. Yeah.
You don't. You don't.
We're not. No, we're not going to do that.
Yes. I think if you can get it right the first time, please do so.
No, no, no. But I am all about getting it right the first time.
But I'm also like, the first time, when is that time? And as I said, this is something I wish to change about myself because I see the effect that it has on the world around me. Because y'all are all stressed about this.
Because then there's chaos around you. Yes.
What is this? It's the eye of the storm. I am the eye of the storm.
And then everything else around the sun. No, it's just a saying.
What do you mean? This is geography. Sorry.
Excuse me. Did you not do geography in school? I did.
A cumulonimbus I know that stuff Tornado, guys

You know, okay, Kyle, what about you?

You know, it's so crazy

I think for me, it's a terrible thing

And I always say

You know, your great gift

Is also quite a great curse

If you're not very aware of it

I think I said that to you

Yeah

So if you are Let's say a, a great communicator, you're able to communicate very well and express yourself pretty well, you fall into the trap of not only trying to find the truth, but trying to win, right? So trying to win an argument rather than what is the truth.

I don't know if I'm making any sense. So I think for me.
Unpack. So what I mean for me is I will sometimes speak to myself certain things and convince myself of a thing that I know is not true.
Right. So you're a liar.
To myself, yes. And I think a lot of the time Where you know that Something can be detrimental to me But I will convince myself Wait, but why are you doing this? Like, are you doing this to appease others? Or are you doing this? Why are you doing that? To safeguard yourself It is often, that is true It is often to kind of safeguard yourself Against what you think are potential terrible pitfalls right but a lot of the times those pitfalls i imagined because it's a sound that will happen huh right so you you i will convince myself that um i'm trying to think uh you know what uh you know that girl i don't think that girl will like me right but she's oh interesting but she has given me all the signs in the world okay but i will keep telling myself that you know what i think she just thinks i'm a nice guy okay okay i call this i call this projection oh yeah oh that's what i call it yeah exactly oh yeah as a defense mechanism i think some people they don't they project themselves i think to stop anybody else from rejecting them and then they go oh you probably would have you probably would have canceled on me anyway well you didn't seem like they probably wouldn't have been serious and then it's like you're doing that so wait so you think the good because you're so good at formulating an argument yes the downside is that you're good at formulating it against against myself yes wow but then this seems like something you know you should change yes but the thing that's difficult that is the worst thing where you know that there's something you you should change and you know it yes but then you don't change it that is that's probably the hardest yeah that is the worst thing i think for me for a person to know about themselves yes you do not think yeah and i wonder how much of this because you, because you know how the Japanese culture, they brought so much technology, I think say 80s, 90s, during that time.
And I wouldn't say that they stopped advancing, but I think because their population, there's such an old group of people, right, at the top. And because the society is about hierarchy so if you're older that's fascinating the decisions are made by really older people that's true and therefore even though they were they were the guys who were leading the revolution of technology that's actually very true in the 80s and the 90s they're old now and they say yeah but that's not how things are done this is not this is not why we Isn't that what, especially you and Olisa, you guys always say the most dangerous thing anyone can ever say in a company is.
We've always done it like this. We've always done it like this.
Yes. We've always done it this way.
And so with Japan, I just feel the we've always done it this way thing. I think it's the old people.
Yeah. You don't want to go into a country and tell them, you know, guys, just relax, you know know, but I'm going to have to ask you guys to take a chill pill.
Wait, but don't you, guys, wait. You should say it in that accent as well.
Don't you think that there's a, I found that there's actually quite a fundamental difference between Tokyo and Kyoto. Kyoto and Osaka.
And Osaka in terms of the people themselves. I remember at a bar in Kyoto, so we got there, and there was a guy that, I mean, I haven't had like a random Japanese person just come to me and strike a conversation.
They don't do that. They don't do that.
But at this bar, I don't know if you recall this guy, this guy with this silky hair. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I kept on touching his bar. And he kept touching his bar, right? You said, can I touch your hair? And I was like, wow.
And then he went like this. He was like, touch it.
Nelson Malilla would be proud wherever he is. You as a black woman went to a Japanese man and you said, can I please touch your hair? Wherever our ancestors were, they rolled over in their graves and they started clapping.
They were like, we made it, yo. We made it.
Guys, his hair was glorious. It was glorious.
But Yana's crazy about that guy. So I asked him when we chat.
Now he's chatting. They have this great conversation.
And I was like, what an extroverted Japanese guy. Yes.
And I asked him where he's from. He's from Kobe.
And he says that in Kobe, they are a lot more friendly, a lot more open than other Japanese cities. Here's how I understand it.
Yeah. From what we heard from the tour guides and some of the people i guess who really study japan they said the one thing that's you know synonymous in japanese culture regardless of where you are is that people are considerate of others when you're in the countrysides of japan you need to worry less about other people's space because you have more of it.

You've got more space.

You can laugh louder.

You can move bigger.

You can be more because you're in Osaka.

There's space.

You can have a good time.

You're close.

You get what I'm saying?

Even though Osaka is a big city, but it's like, and Osaka, funny enough, is called like

the rebel area of Japan because they do the things the other way around.

Yes.

Apparently all the comedians come from there.

Yes.

80% of Japan's comedians.

Comes from Osaka.

We felt at home when we were there. Yes.
Yes. walk around like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
But I think it's that Japanese people have gone. When there are millions of us living together, catching a train, walking upstairs, riding escalators, shopping, we all have to be more considerate of each other.
It's like living in a complex Or in a state In South Africa Yeah Yeah that's true That's very true I call it It's called a complex Because it's complex living There are 800 of us Driving in and out Of these four gates Right So that's why the rules Are so And I mean If you're one person Like yeah but guys These rules don't make sense Why can I only have Four friends here But imagine if All 800 800 of you decided to invite as many people as you want that's the thing there would be mayhem so that kind of makes sense so now you see what you just said there that for me raised a larger question which was so difficult and it's just it's just been ruminating in my brain as i've been thinking about japan and that. If you look at the world we live in today, social media and travel has meant that we have contact with other people in ways that we never did.
We share the world in ways that we never did with other people, right? And so because of that, we're constantly butting up against people in ways that we never did before. So back in the day, if you had an opinion about another culture, it was very rare that you would come up against that culture.
Do you know what I mean? If you had a disparaging view of people from Finland, all right, and then what? Let me tell you about these Finnish people. We'd be like, yeah, okay, keep going.
Go for it. But now you might bump into a Finnish person.
person you might meet them on social media they might encounter your views on social media and now they go excuse me how can you say that about me and this is the thing that that i've been trying to understand is like i go because you know these days there's been a lot of conversations about like oh people are easily offended and then other people like well people have become more mean people i personally don't don't believe. I genuinely just believe we live together more than we ever have.
Complex living. Complex living.
Yeah, we're all in a complex. And so because of that, it's not that you've played your music louder.
It's that you share walls with your neighbor now. Yeah.
And if we think about society and social media and the way we live, our walls are so close to each other that we now hear everybody's music that's playing all the time and so because of that you feel like it's coming to you and then obviously whereas they were just walking past yeah there you go you feel like they were they were walking directly to you to offend you so that you can you know feel some type of way about it and so that's when i then ask the question i go is it then possible and i don't want to say this in like a doom and gloom kind of way, but like, is it possible for the world to exist in a cohesive way if we're all connected? Because in Japan, they're able to do it because they're all Japanese. But I feel that the reason, you know, the extremes of happiness and absolute somberness within Japanese people, and this is a huge assumption, but I think it's exactly that, that their own rules are coming out to get them.
I'll give an example about what I picked up here. There is no romance in Japan.
Did you see anyone hold hands, hug, kiss? No, it's not a big thing. Actually, they said it's frowned upon to be overtly PDA.
That's not a thing. thing yeah i i just think there's so many one of the well i suppose because i like romance right one of the things i saw that they're very yes on is exactly that and i don't think any good can come of that i don't i really don't think any good can come of suppressing any part of what you desire well maybe any part i would Disagree.
Yeah, because you see it, right? Yeah. Because you're the one who spoke about how they are, you notice extremes.
Maybe they suppress it in public, and then in private, maybe it's something else. So, okay.
I'm scared. So, wait, wait, wait.
I had a fascinating conversation at 2 a.m. in the streets of Tokyo, in Shibuya.
we met a group of and it was like friends and they were all half japanese so they're really open and they were sharing their experience and my one friend you know who it is i won't mention names he said he said what about y'all sex do you guys even have sex and then they were like they all got very shy and they were like But then they were like Actually We're not open with our sex But they're like But when we get behind closed doors People go wild And then one of the women said One of the most beautiful things I've ever heard She said I actually find I have more intimate experiences with Japanese men Because they have a more honest expression Of what they like sexually than Western men. Whereas Western men, it feels like they're doing a performance.
It's performative because it's blended into the real world. So she said, because a Japanese man is never speaking about what he does, is never showing off what he does sexually.
When he comes to the bedroom, one-on-one with a woman, and he's also like, this is what I like. This is what I like.
No, but. Make these sounds.
It turns me off. Yeah, but it's also on a clock because he has to go back to work.
This is true. Don't go anywhere because we got more What Now after this.
You know, this is where I'm conflicted in life generally as i go there are moments where i like to believe that i know what's right and what works and what but then i realize if we're honest about it as people we don't know anything we only know what we know right and we believe what we know is correct because it's what we've been taught a simple stupid example is how people hold their phones if you're from a certain generation you hold your phone in a certain way and then when you're from a certain generation they hold their phone hold it like it's deceiving you know what i mean they hold their phones in a way people talk i've seen people have conversations like they do then i'm like what are you doing and they're like yeah but this makes sense to me because i speak when i speak and i listen when i listen and i speak when i speak and i listen so i i always have to tell myself i go as society as people we should never forget that the thing that we think is right is only right because we are used to it not because it is definitively right it's different it's not it's just what we've been taught and it's what has been accepted by society that's the only reason it is right or it is more correct i'm not saying it's good and i'm not saying it's bad i'm just like parallels to you know the older generation back home right in south africa because you and yes in south africa because you and i had this conversation about the parallels between Japanese people and Kosa people. Whiskey, red meat.
You know. But silently, though.
So to your point, when the Japanese said we love red meat, you said, I'm completely in agreement. Then when they said I love whiskey, you said, wow, these people are fantastic.
I'm with you completely. I'm with you.
Then they said, but we keep quiet while we're doing it. Then you're like, whoa, you guys need to change your culture.
But now imagine if a Japanese person was saying, Yung Kosa people are almost perfect. If only you would just keep it down.
Okay. I suppose that I'm trying to say back to the sex thing is that I think sex starts long before we get to the room.
Yeah. But maybe it starts differently.
Exactly. It's not the same as you would have expected that's how you've been taught you know like the idea of sex what is romance what is flirting what is connecting what is all of this you know so now foreplay but you see what you just said now is like because you say foreplay is them in the menu i like this i like yeah that's possible yeah but it is and this is what i'm this is what i mean like okay if we live in a world where everyone believes that their way is the right way, because it is the right way, and we know this because countries and societies have moved to a certain point.
They've been like that for hundreds of years. So clearly it's not wrong.
And it works for them. There's no right language.
There's no right food. There's no right music.
There's no right dancing. There's no right romance.
No. There's countries that existed for hundreds of years doing it their way.
And now all of us are doing this. And now it becomes a battle of which one is the right way.
Are you loud or are you too soft? Are you too prudish or are you too sexual? You know what I mean? Are you too overt or are you too subtle? Which one is it? And Japan has showed me that it really just is the way you're seeing it and it you only appreciate it when it works for you you know what sorry just to go back now um because you asked us a question last is that you know what about you do you know that you should change but you know japan as the second time around because you must remember the first time i came to japan it was all honeymoon and i i had nothing wrong to say about japan yeah if podcast in 2019 it would have been a silent podcast because I'd be like Trevor you're talking about yourself huh you're not wrong actually I love media's people I love you but now because I'm here for a second time you know the veil's been taken off and now I'm going through it I'm like maybe that maybe that we're better with this. But that, there's something very wrong about me, but I've gotten better at it since I turned 40 is all.
Is that I'm very, if we don't stay in honeymoon, then it's going to end very quickly, right? Like, so yes, yeah. What do you mean we, who's we? Like me in a friendship me in a relationship oh interesting so we we i i am even at work i am constantly always finding ways to stay in honeymoon phase right and as soon as that is done then then then we're done wow yeah and what what what i must give it up to the japanese people and what i've learned about myself in Japan the second time around Is that like, you know what? There's actually such a deeper jam, a gel, a honey, a stickiness To be found past honeymoon stage You know, if you just like stick at it That's actually beautiful And stick in there And that has become me now in the last three years coming up to 40 is that I'm doing my best to just constantly realize that that's fine.
That face of that person is gone. You know, find comfort and find solace and find joy and find happiness in this face.
It's very interesting what you say because I found that the women,

I don't know if I'm making another example, but women, that I have asked out, if I said, will you be my girlfriend?

What I've done is I've waited just after the honeymoon period

because then, I know it sounds crazy,

because I think that if I still like you after the honeymoon period i really like you okay because i'm not just dependent on the little you know the newness yeah the newness of the thing because now i'm like a great there are certain things that annoy you about me and there's certain things that i find but despite those things I'm still here for you

and I think I but I also love what you're saying where you're constantly finding the honeymoon period I don't think there's something wrong with that at all but I don't know what you could call it but I love that idea I have a hot take on that I think because of technology, birth control, etc.

We found a way to hack the thing That really forced us into having kids And making families And that was the honeymoon We call it the honeymoon period now I believe personally The way we were designed as human beings Is that you're supposed to meet someone Your pheromones click off Your bodies basically go This one can fix my things This one can fix my things you come together you make children and then it's like it's finished and then you sort of move on that's what i that's what i honestly think it was supposed to be but then you were supposed to keep on doing it keep on try and get it genetically diverse as much as possible as much as possible as much as possible and then once we found ways to not get pregnant from having sex we now use up our honeymoon juice we use up our honeymoon juice having sex yeah and then at the end of it there's nothing that ties you together there's nothing to bind us to each other yeah and then you're like all right on to the next one cheers bye yeah do you know what i mean there's like there's something in that for me is like oh my god oh i just imagine having a child with everyone I've had six years. Oh my God.
How many kids would you regret? I would need a little country. You wouldn't be allowed with your family in Japan.
They'd be like, no more than two. No more than two.
We don't take 60 people. people oh man but you know look I'll say this guys first of all thank you there's a one of the things I love most about hanging out with you guys and taking trips and doing these things is that I find myself having fewer and fewer answers and more questions yes which can I tell you is probably my favorite thing in life.
Because I find myself leaving a trip going like, like if now if someone said, what do you think about Japan? I'd be like, I don't know. I'll be like, it's amazing.
It's one of the most beautiful places you'll ever go. It's one of the cleanest cities you'll ever be in because you have to carry your own trash, which can I tell you had an immense impact on me as a human being.
When you are responsible for every piece of trash that you put out into the world, there's no trash cans. If anyone's coming to Japan, I'm warning you now, no one warned us.
There's no trash cans. When you walk in the streets, you eat something, you hold your trash.
You buy a cup of coffee, you hold your trash. And you're just walking around With your trash You'll be shocked at how much Your ability to discard Yeah Influences your ability to consume Yes And I think that applies Even on a metaphorical level Yeah Your baggage With dating Imagine if we all walked around And you could see the baggage That I carried Yeah Imagine if everyone if everyone you dated or hooked up with, you had to walk around with.
Oh my God. Until you could like properly put them down.
I think we would date very differently. And in a weird way.
Properly put them down. Yeah.
And in a way, I think that's something Japan did like on this trip. It hit me with like a, hey man, be conscious of the trash that you're creating.
And don't assume that you can throw it away for somebody else to deal with it.

Don't assume that.

Oh my Lord.

Yeah, that is, that is deep, man.

Don't assume that.

The best line was literally there was a Japanese guy

and he was, he was really great.

I said to him, I said, where's the trash can?

And he was like, treasure can?

And I said, yeah, trash can.

He's like, treasure can?

He said, who, what is treasure can for? I said, for the trash. And I said, yeah, trash can.
He's like, treasure can? He said, who what is a treasure can for? I said,

for the trash. And he said, oh, Trevor

son, who must empty a treasure can?

I said, well, a trash man.

He's like, oh, are you

a treasure man?

Am I a treasure man?

I was like, no.

Then he's like, who in our

society is a trash person?

Guys, I have never

Thank you. I was like no Then he's like Who in our society Is a trash person? Guys I have never Felt A packet of chips Heavier in my hand But he hit me hard with that Yeah And I was like damn I don't want these chips No for real I was like Yeah actually If we live in a world Where we constantly assume That somebody else's position in life means that they should be picking up our trash, metaphorically and literally, then we live in a world where we one day may be burdened with somebody else's trash asking ourselves how it came to be.
But that's the biggest thing that Japan left me with as a positive, as oppressive as it is in one part. I was like, damn, be conscious of the trash you put out there.

Is that your what now?

My what now?

My what now is

we plan our next trip, friends.

Hey,

I was still debating.

Colombia.

Colombia.

Colombia.

Oh my God.

This was fun, guys.

Anel,

let's get you to the airport.

Kaya,

Kaya,

thanks for joining us.

No, thank you.

This was too much fun.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, friends.

Thank you.

We're definitely doing it again.

We're definitely doing it. And thank you so much.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for joining us.
Thank you, Anele. Another episode of What Now? A special episode, by the way.
It's not another one. Trevor and friends, this time all the way from Japan.
Arigato gozaimasu. Arigato.
Arigato. What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions and Fullwell 73.
The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Ben Winston, Sanaz Yamin, and Jody Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackl.
Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Brown.

Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?