Between the Seasons: Trump Dropping Bombs for Peace

Hey, happy summer holidays everyone.

Or if you're in the southern hemisphere, happy wishing it was summer holidays, everyone.

We're going to be taking a break for a couple months on what now as we wrap up season two and prepare for a very exciting season three with Sirius XM.

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I think it'll be the same world.

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Let's see what happens.

In the meantime, though, we're going to be loading up a few fun, interesting episodes, bonus episodes for you to enjoy.

So, it could be stuff of me on the road doing stand-up, having conversations with audiences, or you never know.

I might just bump into a random, interesting person somewhere and decide to make a podcast episode with them.

So, stay tuned, stay listening, but most important, stay safe.

Enjoy yourself, and what now?

Season three will be back in September

It's been a good week.

It's been a crazy week.

Oh my goodness Like I thought the week was just gonna be about comedy in London

and then Israel and Iran happened

and then we were on like the brink of like World War III

Like you here are now a Friday crowd having fun Monday Tuesday crowd

Yeah.

You try to tell jokes when there's missiles outside.

Like everyone was here.

Because that would be a weird way, like, to be, you know what I mean?

Like at the beginning of World War III.

People are like, where were you?

And you're like, what?

Did you see what happened?

No, I didn't.

Where were you?

Trevor was telling us about

Brixton.

It was such an insane story as well.

Like now I feel like the world we live in, I sometimes think about parallel universes and timelines, and I'm not sure if I believe it, but when I do think about it, I go like, I think we somehow slipped into the ludicrous timeline.

Like we were all in a very normal timeline, us as people, and then something happened.

around like COVID and then we went into the crazy timeline.

And then the other versions of us are now like, wow, wow things have become very boring and normal because like this is not normal you know

like the week starts off well the I mean it's been like two weeks technically right starts off Israel Iran was negotiating a nuclear deal with America negotiating a deal negotiating a deal they're making progress making progress they're getting close they're getting super close and then Israel was like uh-uh

no

No deal and then Israel started launching missiles at Iran, right?

And then it's hard to make a deal when it's like missiles hitting you, you know what I mean?

It's like when you're trying to break up with someone at a restaurant and then the waiter keeps coming, is everything great here?

Hold, just wait.

Let me just handle.

Let me just handle.

So what I'm saying is, I'm just, how's everything going?

Yeah, yeah.

Look, hey, we'll call you.

It will call you.

We'll call you, please.

So Iran was like, all right, I can't, I can't handle, I can't, and so then Iran was like, missiles back at Israel, missiles, missiles, missiles.

And then Israel was like, missiles, missiles.

And then Iran was like, missiles, missiles.

And it was going back and forth, back and forth.

Israel was definitely winning it because like Iran has missiles, but not like Israel's type of missiles you know what I mean like is like Iran doesn't have much money and stuff so their missiles are like those cheap fireworks your friends

you know when your parents would like they'd feel bad you'd be like what are we doing for guy faults day and then your parents would be like ah do you want these ones you're like do you like them they're like no just throw them on the ground

like pat pat pat do you feel like the other kids no i don't at all So Iran has those ones and then they were launching back and forth, back and forth, back.

And the whole world was like, oh man, this again, Middle East conflict, Middle East.

And then, at the peak of it, everyone's like, oh, man, how could this get worse?

Donald Trump was like, hello.

Donald Trump came in and he was like, I'm going to help.

I'm going to totally de-escalate this situation.

I'm going to de-escalate this situation.

And we were like, ah, my man, you've never de-escalated a thing in your life.

In your life.

From your hair hair to your politics.

Nothing is a de-escalation.

Nothing.

Trump came in and he's like, I don't like how Iran and Israel are launching bombs at each other all the time.

So many bombs.

We can't have this.

It's not right.

Too many bombs.

Too many bombs.

We got to stop it.

No more bombs.

No more bombs.

We got to stop it.

We got to fix it.

And they're like, all right, how are you going to fix it?

He's like, by dropping bombs.

I'm going to drop bombs.

and no one no one expected that like the whole world was like okay Trump is gonna mediate or he's gonna because he said to them hey guys let's sort this out peace deal we're gonna do a peace deal and then he dropped bombs on Iran

and everyone in the world was like what the hell and a lot of people in my life were like oh man I can't believe that Trump did this I can't believe and they were so stressed and I was like yes but look look on the on the bright side and they're like what bright side I was like on the bright side Trump also can't believe that he did this

like that's that's the one glimmer of hope that I get from Donald Trump: that, like, he also doesn't know what he's doing, he's in it with us,

which is a nice change.

Oftentimes, we're at the mercy of those in power, but he's in the mercy with us.

Like, we're all locked in a prison cell, but he's holding the key, and he's like, We're all trapped, we're all trapped.

What are we gonna do?

We're like, You use the key, what?

What are you talking about?

And the reason I say this is because Trump came out and he hosted a press conference about it.

It was so wild.

He hosted a press conference about dropping the bombs.

And he was shocked in the press conference.

He came out and he's like, earlier today, the United States military, that's us, that's us,

launched missiles.

Bunker busters launched missiles on Iran on all their nuclear facilities.

And boy,

you don't understand.

You've

never seen bombs bombs like that before

they came down and they dropped them those bombs

i couldn't believe what those bombs were doing i couldn't believe it i couldn't believe it and i called i called i'm the one who called i said drop the bombs i didn't know i was gonna call i said two weeks i said two weeks i told everybody two weeks it was gonna be two weeks and then i was on the plane and i said i'm calling drop the bombs and the bombs were dropped I never seen bombs like that.

I said, whoa, we're never dropping bombs like that like that.

I never seen bombs like that.

Those bombs were dropped and now it's over.

Now it's over.

We're all good.

We're all good.

And so now, because America had dropped bombs on them, then Iran had to respond.

But then Iran didn't want to get into a fight.

No one wants to get into a fight with America.

You know what I mean?

And so, like, Iran was like,

we are going to retaliate against you.

And then they launched missiles at an American base in Qatar.

But then they phoned America first.

They did.

They were like, all right, we are launching bombs against you in like 45 minutes, an hour.

Maybe you tell us how long you need.

Then we will launch.

We'll launch the bombs.

And then the Americans cleared out their base and everything important, and then the bombs fell up.

And then Trump, very, like, in an interesting way, he responded to Iran.

Then he wrote on his, like, thing online, on his profile, he was like, thank you to Iran.

For giving us notice about the bombs.

Now it's over.

It's all over.

There will be peace.

And then he said, Iran, Israel, peace.

And they they were like, all right, peace, peace, peace.

All good.

Then Trump went to sleep.

And in the four hours that he was sleeping,

Israel, like out of nowhere, they came and they were like, Iran, launch more missiles.

And then everyone was like, wait, what missiles?

And Israel was like, you launched missiles.

And Iran was like, no-uh.

And then Israel is like, too late.

We're coming for you with more bombs.

And then the world was like, what?

And then Trump woke up.

And this was the moment.

When I can safely say I have felt more connected to Donald Trump than I've ever in my entire life.

Because that man is not a normal human being.

Very seldom have I looked at Trump and thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can relate to this.

But he came out after Israel was about to launch a full-scale bombing attack on Iran.

And he came out, he heard about this.

Man didn't even put on a tie.

Came out of the White House half-dressed, ran straight into reporters, and he went into it.

He was like, I heard about what Iran is doing and what Israel is doing.

And let me tell you, I'm angry at Iran, but I'm more angry at Israel they said peace and I said we're gonna do peace and they're launching and I'm sick of them Israel you better not do you don't do it Israel said peace you don't do it he looked like a dad who had kids that were fighting in the backyard and he was just going back and forth he's just like Israel shut up baby come up shut up Shut up how many times you have to tell your kids that you're not gonna I'll tell you once and I'll tell you again and then he looked at the reporter and he did something I've never seen an American president do in my entire life.

He cursed live on TV into the camera, looked at the camera, and he was like, They were like, What do you think, Mr.?

He's like, I'll tell you what this is.

You've got two countries that have been fighting so long, they don't know what the fuck they're doing.

You're like, Oh, dad is mad.

Dad is mad

and I don't know what was crazier the fact that he cursed on live TV as an American president or the fact that that somehow became bigger news than the actual bombs that were dropped

the bombs was like half a day of news the biggest bombs ever dropped on a country randomly out of war was barely any news and then Trump came out and he swore every news outlet Guardian BBC Al Jazeera CNN, you name, all of them, all of them.

Trump curses, Trump swears, Trump says F word, F everywhere.

And I was like, damn.

So the F bomb was more important

than the bomb bomb.

Everyone on TV, we've never seen this before.

We've never seen an American president curse on national television.

This has never, I don't even understand what we're seeing right now.

Donald Trump, and I must warn, I must warn sensitive viewers, I must warn sensitive views.

Yo, you showed footage of cities being leveled by bombs.

You said it just casually.

Let me show you some of the bombs that were dropped here.

Let me show you some of the bombs.

All right, now, Trump said something.

I must warn you, if you have children in the room, you might want to cover their ears.

You might want to cover their ears because he said the F bomb.

Like, people cared more about the words than the F.

It was the wildest thing.

Wildest thing.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

They were doing it as if the people in Iran were just like, yeah, no, no, no, no.

The bombs are one thing.

But what he said,

you can take bombs back, but words

words are forever.