Christiana Gave Birth (Again)! [VIDEO]

Speaker 1 Hi, it's Eva Longoria, and let's be real. After 40, we should ask for more from our skincare.
I swear by Revitaly Triple Power Moisturizer by L'Oreal Paris.

Speaker 1 With vitamin C, pro-retinol, and hyaluronic acid, it reduces my wrinkles, firms, and brightens. And it's not a procedure, it's just a hard-working moisturizer.

Speaker 3 Revitalift Triple Power Moisturizer by L'Oreal Paris. Grab it today in fragrance-free or with SPF30.

Speaker 2 Available at your local target.

Speaker 3 This episode is brought to you by Spotify Portal for Backstage.

Speaker 2 But you're wondering, what's Portal?

Speaker 3 Well, it's an internal developer portal built to improve developer experience and boost productivity. All software components are centralized.
Documentation is automated and easy to maintain.

Speaker 3 New projects and components? Just a few clicks with your best practices already built in. Think less friction, more innovation.
Ready to double your productivity?

Speaker 3 Try Spotify Portal at backstage.spotify.com.

Speaker 2 This is What Now

Speaker 2 with Trevor Noah.

Speaker 2 I need to get into MMA. I need to, I want more hobbies.
What is that one? Is MMA a hobby? No, so what? Because I've been watching football's different. The premiership is depressing for a United fan.

Speaker 2 The premiership is not depressing. For a United fan.
There we go. Say it with your chests.

Speaker 2 Say it with your chests.

Speaker 2 I've been introducing. So I have all these menu kits for the kids because one of my good friends sent them for me.
And he's Nigerian. So he's like, there was a time when this meant excellence.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I feel ashamed that I'm sending you your kids this thing that means they're losers.

Speaker 4 I mean, it's the same as when you get

Speaker 4 the outfit of a fighter and they get popped for steroids that week and you're like,

Speaker 4 I just, I already ordered the.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, fights have kits?

Speaker 4 Kind of.

Speaker 4 You can get like the

Speaker 4 whatchamacallit? Like the outfit that their team wears in the walkout. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 So you can get the zip up and the pants and everything.

Speaker 4 I can't do that. And

Speaker 4 then you can get their personal merch too.

Speaker 4 But because they can't have all independent, like Puma, Nike, whatever,

Speaker 4 they can have the UFC official thing and then everything else is from their site. So then some people make like their own kit that you can buy.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And you'll like buy, you'll buy the kit, and then they'll be like, the fight is off due to a high volume of HGH found in the system. And now you're wearing the kit.

Speaker 2 And you're like,

Speaker 2 I feel like, you know, I was thinking that. So

Speaker 2 I'm a Liverpool fan, and not just because it's going well now. We've had some tough times.
That's why I feel for you. I mean, it was good under Klopp as well.
Yeah, but I was around before that.

Speaker 2 I was around when we were still like scrounging around. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I haven't been the longest Liverpool fan, but I've been a fan for long enough that I don't remember like winning things. Okay.
Do you know what I mean? I remember your glory. Gerard.
So, like,

Speaker 2 even before, yeah, like, well, not before Gerard, but I mean, like, because there was like the peak Gerard where he was crushing it and then he had the slip, which you know, ended it for us very painfully.

Speaker 2 But, um, yeah, but I was like around. You know what I was actually thinking, funny enough, is I was going like

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 found myself thinking that sports in that way is in some ways like the perfect analogy for for nation states okay you know like if you think about it right now america is the man united of the world oh god that's that's hard to hear as a united oh i didn't know which way you were gonna take that

Speaker 2 no but it's true it's true

Speaker 2 it's true think about think about it all my dads are not listening think think about this think about this right whether you like america or not you have to admit there was a point where America was champion of the world without like no hesitation.

Speaker 2 You name it, you know, music, sport, culture, politics, diplomacy. Like, it was just like America is the country of the world.
No one doubted it.

Speaker 2 You went anywhere in the world and you said, where do you want to go? America. You know what I mean? Didn't matter what country you went to.
America. That was like the thing.

Speaker 2 And then I don't know. I don't know when I would say the first like little slip.
Maybe. When Obama left.
No, no, no, I think it was, I think before then.

Speaker 2 I think, like, I think, okay, for me personally, around like 9-11, Alexander.

Speaker 2 When Bush started bombing the world was the first time where I noticed people going. You mean that...
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was the first like, huh?

Speaker 2 Oh, I was thinking about when, like, because this is so dark, because I moved to America after Bush started bombing the world, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I'm saying, as an outsider, when did you consider like, maybe I don't want to live there anymore?

Speaker 2 Obama was pretty. You're like, oh, I want to move to a place where Obama can become president.
Obama in this case is like Alex Ferguson.

Speaker 2 And then when Obama ends and, you know, if you follow the American story, you assumed it would be Hillary. Yes.
And then Trump comes in. As an outsider, you're like, hmm, maybe I want to reconsider.

Speaker 2 I don't know. That's what I feel from, because like, it's kind of dark, but like.
the war in Iraq, European countries were involved in that. Like, as a Brit.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking. But I think you could be right, Trevor.
Maybe I was just very selfish and blinkered. I was like,

Speaker 2 I still want to go to a place.

Speaker 2 As the African-American here, Josh, what do you think?

Speaker 4 I'm not a well-traveled person. That's not true.
No, no, Josh. At the time of 9-11.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 At the time of 9-11, I was 11. I was not a well-traveled individual.
You know what I mean? Most people would say, I was a child. Sure.
But

Speaker 2 Josh judges himself as an 11-year-old.

Speaker 4 But I was like,

Speaker 4 when 9-11 happened, I remember being scared. And then what I started to understand when I was in college, so like we're talking like 20,

Speaker 4 like in 2012, I was like, like, I guess I only saw it through media.

Speaker 4 So in American media, you see other countries wishing they could come here, wishing that they could, or, or even saying American propaganda out loud in their home country of like, but we're not America, though, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah. And then when I got older and I was in college and I would take in more media, that was when I was like, the perception is changing.

Speaker 4 And I had friends who, who did travel who told people they were Canadian. And like when they went to certain places.
And I was like,

Speaker 4 oh, okay. Like, because that wouldn't have even occurred to me because I hadn't traveled much yet.
And so I would say, though, to Christiana's point, when you really look at the

Speaker 2 worldview of

Speaker 4 America after Obama entering Trump, Trump had this weird way of like,

Speaker 4 I don't know if I have the words for it exactly, but he had this weird way of like bringing things to fruition, but it was him that did it. So then he would be like, America's looking at us as a joke.

Speaker 4 Yes. But we became a joke.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 He was a prophet who made his own prophecies come true. Essentially, that's what Trump does.

Speaker 4 Like he literally, I don't know if you remember that clip. He's like, the American dream is dead.

Speaker 2 Sir, sir, what are you doing? But

Speaker 2 you know what has been illuminating for me is how

Speaker 2 Trump has changed one thing.

Speaker 2 In my experience, when I travel, he's changed one thing fundamentally about America. And that is before Trump, most places in the world I went to saw America as America.

Speaker 2 They hated America or they liked America, but that's how they spoke about America. Now, Trump has sort of exported American politics to the world.

Speaker 2 So I go to countries where some people like Trump and then some people don't like Trump, but they no longer have like a singular view of America. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So even in South Africa, the other day,

Speaker 2 I got pulled over by a policeman. It's very common there.
This is like, it's not like in America where your life starts flashing before your eyes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like in South Africa, you get pulled over almost just for like a conversation. Sometimes they just want to look at your car, to be honest with you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, they'll just pull you over and be like, ah, brother, what, what is this? And you're like, oh, yeah. And you're like, ah, it's nice.
It's nice. I like it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So I got pulled over the other day. And the cops, straight up, the the guy opened, I rolled down the window.
He's like licensed. Then he sees me and then he's like, ah, Trevor.

Speaker 2 He's like, hey, my man, what are you doing here? I'm like, what do you mean? I'm home. He's like, aye, my man.
You should be there in America. Elon Musk, what is he doing to us?

Speaker 2 Why is he doing these things to South Africans? No, Trevor. Hi, but Trump, but Trump.
Guys, there was no time in my life where a South African man

Speaker 2 in my entire recollection was speaking about the individuals in American politics. You know what I mean? Even when Bush was like bombing the Middle East, we said America.
Oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 2 It wasn't like Bush. People were like, man, what America's doing? America's going up against the United Nations.
America's ignoring this. America's waging a fake war.
America.

Speaker 2 Now I find everywhere in the world, there's a break. There's Trump.

Speaker 2 And there's not Trump.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think Obama did that, but in a different way. Obama Obama made America look so cool and like it could like remake itself in a strong way.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I remember there was like years ago when he was the first time he ran and they did like a poll in Europe about if Obama ran versus I think it was McCain or we are the first, whoever it was the first time,

Speaker 2 what were the voice. It was like 95% Obama.
Like

Speaker 2 the rest of the world was a no-brainer. Like this guy is great.
His wife is beautiful. I love that Europe, like, who has never had like a black person.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They don't want their own one. They want the American one.
They were like, Yeah, yeah, well, of course it makes sense. It's time to have some change.
You know, how can America not have?

Speaker 2 And then you're like, what about you guys? Oh, yeah, well,

Speaker 2 let's calm down. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, it feels like dating at high school where you're, where there's always that one person that's like, oh, you're so sweet.
And you'll find someone.

Speaker 2 What about you? Oh!

Speaker 4 No, you'll find. I said someone.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 I didn't mean it like that, Josh. Yeah.
Oh, no. I didn't.
I didn't mean it like that. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 It's basically that.

Speaker 4 I think it's so funny.

Speaker 2 It feels like Obama did that and then Trump's done it the other way, but that's why I think they're twin flames. You know, I have this whole theory

Speaker 2 about in past, yeah, in past life. They came together.
There's something about them.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay. You're talking about a different thing.

Speaker 2 No, but I think we're talking about the same thing, but I'm talking about the witchy version. Yeah.
And you're talking about the sensible version. Trump is America's id, but like.

Speaker 2 Obama is Obama is who America likes to think they are because it's like the performance of goodness. Yeah, yeah.
The good side.

Speaker 2 Because I think Obama performs as a good person as well and he probably is a bit of an asshole I would be too in private but like he is like humble in public and then Trump is the dark side so they're like the darkness and the light and you know there's an overlap in their voters right yeah the same people that voted for Obama

Speaker 2 also voted for Trump in these swing states he's appealing to the same parts of themselves but just the dark and the light yeah yeah that's my he's maybe America should only just have two presidents then forever and you're switching back switch back and forth that would make it simpler It would make it simpler.

Speaker 2 No, basically, you just ask America, you just go like, guys, what are we feeling like? We're feeling dark times. Yeah.
Or we're feeling, what are we feeling like? Hopeful. We're feeling hopeful.

Speaker 2 Hopeful president.

Speaker 4 Because I do, and people always take it the wrong way when I say it, but maybe y'all will at least get it. That Trump is white Obama.
He's Obama for white people who hated the idea of Obama. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it's like, that to me is why I think people keep underestimating him because I'm like, you guys aren't ready for like, okay, I,

Speaker 4 you may need to cut this whole thing. Who knows?

Speaker 2 But I think that there's a, there is a

Speaker 4 thing that is baked into America's understanding of the experience of a black person.

Speaker 4 So whether it's true or not, or whether it applies to every person or not, there's a story that people are told about you before they meet you as like a black American.

Speaker 4 It's like your ancestors were slaves. You have to struggle, but you always make it through.

Speaker 4 And like you had to avoid crime and drugs and getting somebody pregnant just to be where I am right now is like a white person. So just to be my coworker, you had to overcome all this stuff.

Speaker 4 It's like every one of your stories is like an Oscar movie. That's why we keep giving you the Oscar every time it's sad, right?

Speaker 4 And now you're living in a world where there's so many cracks in that thing, not just because there are black people who are like, no, I grew up in the suburbs all my life and my dad's a doctor, but now you have white people who are, who literally are that story but no one tells it in that way so so they're so they're like they're like okay you know my great great grandparents were these irish immigrants they got spit on when they came here and everything and i have a lot of like uh uh drugs and crime where i'm from like people always make it appalachia but it's like guys it's everywhere it is everywhere it's everywhere and so it's like my family was on food stamps my family all this stuff like that as a white person which is like never really talked about and so then this person had to overcome a lot just to be next to this other white person, right?

Speaker 4 Yes. And Trump speaks to that the way that Obama spoke to black people who may or may have not been having that like stereotypical experience.

Speaker 4 And that is so powerful.

Speaker 4 It feels weird to tell white people that they don't understand white people, but white people who are like the living embodiment of everything we've been told black people go through, I understand better than like white people who have always had it, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 It makes sense because America, more than most countries in the world has told people what their life should be and what it could be. Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 2 There's no other country that goes like the pursuit of happiness. Which is an insane thing.
It's a crazy thing. And most cultures, they don't even believe in happiness.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Like if I told my dad I wanted to be like, I think I told my dad that once, or it was my mum, I said, I want to be happy. And my mom was like, is that it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is that all you want for yourself? That's your other concept. If you said that to your parents, most African people be like, I want to be happy.
And they're like, happy? Happy. Go and study something.

Speaker 2 Are you going to be successful? You know what is happy? You leave me happy. Are you married? Do you have children? You know what I mean? Like, what is happy is a moment.

Speaker 2 My friend's sister said, Was Jesus happy? Yeah, but then, like, that is one of the wildest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

Speaker 4 That, wow.

Speaker 2 She was making a big life choice. She's like, oh, what happens? She's like, was Jesus happy? Yes.
This is like, but okay, but think of it this way, right?

Speaker 2 Most cultures in the world will believe that happiness is a state of mind and it's a moment.

Speaker 2 You're not, you are, you are happy. You're not like permanently in a state of happiness.
Does that make sense? And you shouldn't pursue it. It's like

Speaker 2 pursuing pleasure. It's kind of decadent.
It is.

Speaker 2 Right. But America is the only country that did that.
And so in many ways, you have a country where they've told you what is supposed to happen to you, what you're supposed to experience.

Speaker 2 And so if you're not experiencing that, you're butting up against it. So it's like,

Speaker 2 it's the, you know, a 14-day money-back guarantee.

Speaker 2 think about how many people in america are going but this is not what i was promised and to your point exactly what you're saying trump is going you haven't gotten your your delivery

Speaker 2 you haven't gotten the service you know i mean you're supposed to get this thing yeah but you haven't gotten it and then those people are standing up and then other white people are like but why don't they just why don't they just and it's like yeah you say that but these white people are going why has it not happened for me and obama did the same thing yeah he said america has failed on its promise but yes, we can.

Speaker 2 Yes, we can. He was very in it.
It's the same. And it's like, it's the dark or the light.
Yes. But,

Speaker 4 yeah, but the people, whenever I say white Obama, everyone's bad.

Speaker 2 Everybody's like, right, what do you mean?

Speaker 4 What are you talking about? I'm like, yeah, and then I explain the whole thing. They're like, no.
And I'm like, I understand.

Speaker 2 No, because you lead, Josh. If you start with white Obama.
I can see people immediately viscerally. It's look, in the world of stand-up, it's brilliant as a premise,

Speaker 2 as like a concept but obviously most of the time a great premise in stand-up is terrible for regular conversation yeah no that's fair because imagine if you came to somebody and you're like yep in many ways he's like muslim jesus people like i'm sorry what did you say yeah yeah you can't take someone who people love and revere

Speaker 4 and then compare them immediately to somebody they hate and not expect them to have a race to be a little bit reactive i guess i'm i'm surprised how much everybody hates it in that i still have friends from Louisiana who voted for Trump and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 And then when I say he's white Obama, they're like, what?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but that's what I mean. And I'm like,

Speaker 4 that's why I'm saying, I'm like, I can understand my liberal friends getting mad, but then everyone's mad.

Speaker 2 Well, it's worse the other way around. Yeah.
How dare you?

Speaker 2 You're going to call this man white Obama?

Speaker 4 But can I tell you, he is doing everything.

Speaker 4 Trump is doing everything that they told us a black president would do. Yes.
This man has his own coin two days before

Speaker 4 and then fleecing everybody and then it dips and he don't even mention it they asked him in the press conference when he already is like is i i won't say promising but when he's when he's already jumpstarting this like 500 billion dollar project for all of these ai uh ceos before deep seek comes out and they're like what about your coin and he's like i don't know how much did it make And then they and then they tell me, it's like, oh, that's peanuts to these guys.

Speaker 2 I'm like, why are you letting this dude deflect in real time?

Speaker 4 That's a pimp move to just be like, I don't know who stole from you while holding the bag. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 I have been

Speaker 2 surprised might be the wrong word, but it's the only one I can think of right now.

Speaker 2 I've been surprised

Speaker 2 at

Speaker 2 how

Speaker 2 just like the lack of robustness in America's

Speaker 2 systems.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you take for granted how much of America is run like the game of golf.

Speaker 2 It's just an agreement.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You're going to keep your score, right?

Speaker 2 You'll tell us where your ball landed, right? Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you're not going to move the ball when you get there, right? No, no, no, no, no. All right.
And you, but you, oh, you keep your own score. Think about how crazy golf is as a game.

Speaker 2 Everyone is out there competing against each other. Everyone keeps their own score.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You hit the ball, it goes somewhere. You then tell people where your ball was.

Speaker 2 If you move it, nobody knows, which by the way, fun fact, Trump does all the time. Yeah, yeah, of course.
In actual golf. Of course, he does.
In actual golf, right? 100%.

Speaker 2 You don't move the ball if you do. But all of this, and people keep their own scores.
And the game is basically run. There's all the rules, but a lot of the game is just a handshake.

Speaker 2 It's a gentleman's agreement.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I've been surprised to see how much of America is just a gentleman's agreement. Also, I mean, I'm saying this as a Brit.
How much is just ultimately resolved in court?

Speaker 2 And then there's a different court. So then it goes to a court in like this district says...
No, America just sues itself. Yeah, it just keeps sue.

Speaker 2 And then it's always judges who are like, I'll take you. No, I'll take you to court.
Yeah, I'll take you to court. So Trump does a thing.

Speaker 2 And then now I've realized, just wait to see what happens in court. You have to wait for the final court, though.
It's like, which court does it go to?

Speaker 2 And then it's frozen because of something that happens in court. So I'm like, I'm not saying not being a president is powerful because we've seen how much it can shape the world.

Speaker 2 But now I'm like, oh, everything happens in court in this country. Yes.
It's like the judges. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think also for your, for your analogy of like the gentleman's agreement thing, it's like that's also how our corruption is supposed to work.

Speaker 4 So when you're playing golf and you're keeping your own score and you're not going to move the ball, everybody moves it a little bit. Trump moves it out of the water.

Speaker 2 Yeah, actually.

Speaker 4 We all watched it go out of the water and then he dove it. Oh, he didn't dive because he got someone to dive in, hand him the ball, and then he threw it in the green.

Speaker 4 And then he goes, that's where my ball was the whole time. And then because we don't really understand how to like combat that, we're like, I guess that's where his ball was the whole time.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'm crazy. That's a great addition to that.
I thought it went to the water.

Speaker 4 And so, then, because admittedly, with Dems and Republicans, there's always been the understanding, the gentleman's agreement of like, I'm gonna move my ball a little bit.

Speaker 4 We'll both say I won't move my ball at all, but I'm gonna move it a little bit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm gonna move to the bank after I've been running banks. I'm gonna move to the defense contract after running.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right, it's been it has been subtle.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and it's like that's that, even like under people that we like, there was that level of corruption going on. Yeah.
But it felt like enough corruption to keep everything stable.

Speaker 4 So we're still playing golf.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, there is the theory.

Speaker 2 I forget the official like name for it or the title for it. But there's this theory that says that there's no society that functions without corruption.

Speaker 2 And corruption is a necessary part of society for it to succeed.

Speaker 2 It's counterintuitive. I love this because I love corruption.
Yeah, but you're Nigerian. I mean, this is...
You said it, not me.

Speaker 2 It could have been my British side. The Brits don't have corruption too.

Speaker 2 Come on. Can we tell you something? One thing I've learned about Nigerians is...
It couldn't be my British side. Can I tell you what I've learned about Nigerian?

Speaker 2 Now you're going to bring out your British side, please. Brits are incredibly corrupt.
No, but no, no, but they don't love the corruption. There's a difference.
But we're embarrassed about it.

Speaker 2 That's what I mean. That's the difference.
I think that's what it really is, is with Trump is like, it's the gentleman's agreement.

Speaker 2 Like when he sat down with Zelensky, he broke the gentleman's agreement. I'm sure many presidents have cussed each other out over world issues.

Speaker 2 But the gentleman's agreement is that you don't do it in front of the press.

Speaker 2 Do you get what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 It's the same way adults, you know, like with kids, you'd be like, yo,

Speaker 2 we'll talk about this. Let's let the kids go away.
We're going to go to another room and we'll discuss. Because you don't want the kids to see this because there's a certain level of decorum.

Speaker 2 He's got no decorum. That's what it is.

Speaker 2 What Trump did there is you don't do that amongst world leaders because

Speaker 2 it's not for us as the public in a weird way.

Speaker 2 Go into a room, fight about it, and then come out and shake hands and be like, yeah, you know, we had a good discussion and we're going to figure this out.

Speaker 2 But I also feel like, forget world leaders. I would not invite someone to my house to cuss them out.
Like, if I want to cuss you out, you're not coming to my house.

Speaker 2 That was the thing that kind of blew my mind about the interaction. Like, forget.

Speaker 2 But he didn't think he was going to cuss him out. Oh, he knew he was not.
No, he didn't. You don't think so? I don't think so.
Well, he he thought Zelensky would kind of back.

Speaker 2 Okay, so here's how I play out the timeline. Trump goes, Zelensky's coming.
Now, Trump, remember who Trump believes Trump is. Trump believes.

Speaker 2 He's the greatest negotiator, the greatest deal maker, the greatest businessman, the greatest peacemaker that has ever...

Speaker 2 Remember, this is the man who said on day one, he's like, on day one, I will reduce the price of eggs. I will bring them down.
Day one.

Speaker 2 Eggs have only gone up. Yeah.
Day one, Israel, Palestine. I'm going to end it.
We're tired of the war. We got to end it.

Speaker 2 It's not over. You get what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 He's the person who believes. He genuinely believes.
I don't even think he's like lying about this. He thinks I'm going to go in and I'm just going to tell them what it is and it's going to be.

Speaker 2 Same thing with tariffs. I'm going to do the tariffs.
Then the thing backfires. Then he's like, okay, I'm going to undo the tariffs.
Then I'm going to do the tariffs again.

Speaker 2 Then I'm going to undo the tariffs. But he believes it.
So he goes, you know what? I'll call Zelensky. He's like, I'm going to call Zelensky.
And I'm going to tell him this war needs to stop.

Speaker 2 And then Zelensky will stop the war. What happens? Zelensky shows up.
Zelensky Zelensky shows up in his outfits. That's the first thing Trump is angry about because he's like, why is this guy,

Speaker 2 everyone shows up here in a suit and tie. What is this man doing?

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And that was the first comment, if you remember. No, no, yeah.
He points at him. He's like, oh, he got all dressed up.
Oh, look at him.

Speaker 2 So that's the first thing, the first slight for Trump.

Speaker 2 They go in. They're having the conversation.
It's a normal press conference until the end.

Speaker 2 And that's the moment where Zelensky says a thing that Trump feels is something that goes against like him and is like a threat you know where Zelensky's like you're going to feel the pressure you're going to feel Russia's influence you go then he's like don't tell us what we're gonna feel don't you threaten me and that's when it goes off the rails but he I don't think he brought the man in to cuss him out I think he brought him in to solve it and then this little man didn't come in scrounging in front of him you know I

Speaker 2 think some of the risk the reaction to it though is just like

Speaker 2 people are surprised to see someone cuss someone out in their house.

Speaker 2 forget

Speaker 2 them being pressed

Speaker 4 as a group of men yes someone came to your house and you cussed them out that's that is like just on a purely human level yeah decorum and decorum i'll pitch you both this i think that none of this would have happened if zelensky had shown up maybe two weeks to a month earlier because you got to remember that macrone was just in there correcting that man in front of his face and touching his knee and so it's like if you all talked about as a man, I will curse somebody in my house before I let a man correct me and touch my knee while he does it.

Speaker 4 That's, oh, you must be out your mind. Correct me or touch my knee.
But if you do both at the same time, we fighting. And so he already had to take the L on Macron, right?

Speaker 4 And so then he took the L on Macron. And then, because to Trevor's point, that thing that Trump does, he got to do very well with the, I think it was the president of Egypt, right?

Speaker 4 When Egypt basically says, hey, when it comes to Gaza, we'll take the sick kids.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 4 Which for Trump is not a contradiction because he's like, oh, we're going to send some of the people to Jordan. We're going to send some people to Egypt.
So then sick kids are still people.

Speaker 4 So then Trump is like, I didn't even know that. See, isn't that nice that he's willing to take the sick kids and that that's really great.

Speaker 4 And you can even see in the moments, like, maybe Trump is trying to continue to do the salesman thing, but maybe he's also like, it's working. Like it's working.

Speaker 4 And so then when Zelensky, who's just making a pretty rational point, he's like, guys, y'all think Putin's going to stop? Y'all think China's just like playing games in the background?

Speaker 4 Like Zelensky's one of the only people you can tell, even from him not showing up in the suit and tie, that's like living in the real world.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 I don't know if you've ever been to like a, like, and I'm, I'm not trying to put anyone on blast, but I don't know if you've ever been to the party of someone who is about to not have money, but like they're still dressed and still putting out the hors d'oeuvres like they have money.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you know that they almost don't have money.

Speaker 4 So then you show up in your hoodie and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 It's like, well, well, well,

Speaker 4 you have to live next to me.

Speaker 2 I love the idea that Josh, you should know this. If you invite Josh to your house, how he's dressed is a precursor to your moment in life.
How much money he thinks you have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like if Josh shows up in a hoodie to your party, party, you should go check your bank account, go check your investments, go check everything.

Speaker 2 We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break.

Speaker 2 The most important news in the world right now,

Speaker 2 across every country, is that Christiana had

Speaker 2 another baby.

Speaker 2 before we get into it because I want to know all the details. And I have many questions for you, by the way, which I've been saving.
Oh, many questions. Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you know how many people will talk to me about the podcast? And the thing they'll say, they'll go like, Josh, oh, Josh, oh, it's very funny. Oh, man, I love this thing.
Oh, YouTube. Oh, Josh,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean? By the way, like, people think you're like different people. It's very strange for me, but people will tell me about you,

Speaker 2 but then tell me about you doing something else as a different person. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 People don't know I'm the same person.

Speaker 2 They don't know you're the same person. You've watched them as well.

Speaker 4 I've got DMs, like angry DMs that are like, you stole the joke from the guy on what now.

Speaker 4 Because I'll do the, I'll say the thing here and then I'll say it on stage and they'll be like, I've heard that before and you think you're slick.

Speaker 2 Yo, people say that to me.

Speaker 2 They'll go like, oh, man, I love the, love the, oh, man, by the way, there's this comedian you should have on your show. His name's Josh Johnson.

Speaker 2 Then I go, you just told me you like Josh on the podcast. Yeah, yeah.
And they go, yeah, but. But have you heard Josh Johnson?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's nice that no matter what, they want to take up for me. This is

Speaker 4 against me.

Speaker 2 It is against you.

Speaker 2 You are the white Josh Johnson. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's right. You are.

Speaker 2 But the other thing people say, they'll be like, oh, I love Josh Wallet. They'll be like, oh, Christiana is so funny.
This is smart.

Speaker 2 But then they'll be like, is she always pregnant yeah how many children does christiana have that yo everyone men women old young people just be like oh my god like there's a comedian in south africa his name isn't doors he he was just chatting randomly and and he's like he's like yeah trevor he's like all right chap that he's like that christiana she's always pregnant

Speaker 2 how is she always pregnant

Speaker 2 and i was like what is she always i was like actually she is always pregnant

Speaker 2 It's kind of crazy. Yeah.
First of all, congratulations. Thank you.
Yeah. You are now the mother of a how old? She is eight weeks tomorrow.
Eight weeks tomorrow. So she's brand new.
Wow.

Speaker 2 She's still got that placenta perm. Yeah, look at that.
Brand new. No, I love her.
The placenta perm. You know how the hair comes out? It's not how it is.

Speaker 2 Like, every so she's still got her placenta perm. I know.
I am a mother of three kids, five and under.

Speaker 2 I've had

Speaker 2 more than three pregnancies. You guys know, like, my womb is a strange place.
So, I've had losses, done IVF, all of this stuff, and now it's landing me at three kids. Cora wasn't IVF, though.

Speaker 2 So, wait, so are you

Speaker 2 how many? What's the number you're going for? I'm stopping it. Can I tell you guys something? No, don't lie.
No, no, no, don't lie. I hate it that he does lie.
Don't lie. Let me tell you why.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 He's going to say

Speaker 2 you say this all the time. Above all else.
Every time you say it's your last baby. Above all else, to thine own self be true.
Yeah. That's a quote that I love to live by.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying this out of judgment. I'm asking if there is like an end goal.
Okay. Because you are with children the way dangerous leaders are with land and like territory.
They'll be like, I'm done.

Speaker 2 Remember when Putin said Crimea? That's it.

Speaker 2 He said, that's it.

Speaker 2 He said, now that we have, you are, you're the Putin of children. Okay.
Because every time I think you're done, there's another incursion. And then you're going to tell me about why you had had to.

Speaker 2 So you said after the first one, you were like, Trevor, I will, you're like, don't ever have kids. I'll never have kids.
You did say that. Then second one.

Speaker 2 Then you're like, I don't know who tricked me into this. I can't believe I'm doing it again.
I'll never. Trevor, I'm done.
After this, I'm done. I'm done.

Speaker 2 We are now the third one. Okay, can I tell you the difference now?

Speaker 2 So, unfortunately, I live in a very godless city, so it's a long time to get a vasectomy. In LA, I sent my husband.
My husband, February 14th, he had an appointment for a consultation for a vasectomy.

Speaker 2 On Valentine's Day. Yes, I said, go.
Okay. He got there, and the guy says there's a waiting list.
But what happens every Friday, they open up the portal for cancellations.

Speaker 2 This is the vasectomy doctor in LA, by the way. Everyone goes to him because he does the job.

Speaker 2 How hard is it to do a vasectomy? Forgive me. Oh, it's so easy.
I thought it was so easy. It is quick, but it's a godless city.
People don't want kids. So there's so many more.

Speaker 2 So there's so many people in LA getting vasectomies. If you want it quicker, go to like Utah.
Like in Utah.

Speaker 2 And that person would be like, I've never done this before.

Speaker 2 But let's see what happens. There we go.
It's just snips now.

Speaker 2 So this is, I don't even want to go on too many tangents. No, go on all the tangents.
No, because I want to know all the tangents. Because I've got people telling me, why don't you get an IUD?

Speaker 2 Why don't you do this? I'm like, no, let him do something. Because my body's been through.

Speaker 2 I don't know. So my husband is getting a vasectomy.

Speaker 2 And we have two embryos in boarding school in case I ever.

Speaker 2 Want to get to five.

Speaker 2 No, they're just there. I don't know what to do with them.
You see, this is, I'm pro-choice, but then I have all these woo-hoo things. I'm like, do I donate them to science?

Speaker 2 I don't like embryo adoption. No, you see, this is slick.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. She left herself a little bit.
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the out.

Speaker 2 It's just like, I'm like, I can't keep having children when I have like these two, not souls, but things frozen in time.

Speaker 2 So they're there. I have to make a decision about what we do with them.
They're in Texas.

Speaker 2 You have children in Texas? Not children, please. Before the Republicans here, they're not children.
They're selves. Me and my husband's selves.
Yeah, yeah, day five and a half.

Speaker 2 It was just a matter of time before. Like,

Speaker 2 you remember when we were on the road, I used to have this joke that I almost believe is going to become true. They're just going to keep moving it further and further back.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, that's why we want to take them out of Texas. Yeah, they go, but they're going to keep moving it further and further back.

Speaker 2 You know, they go like, oh no, the heartbeat or this or blip and this and inception. And it's going to get to the point where they'll just be like, your sperm is a child.
Look at how they swim. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at how they swim. I'm afraid it's going to get to that.
So anyway. Okay.
So even having Cora, the ethical, I was like, how can we do this when it was obviously she's not planned? Right.

Speaker 2 By the way, my thing about having three kids, I think it makes me look like I like sexual discipline in this day and age. No, no, no, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 Why would you? Because, like, who has three kids in this day and age? No, no, no, no, no. But why would you need sexual discipline? Whoever says that, bring them here.
I'll say that.

Speaker 2 No, people are very like people, women with careers,

Speaker 2 like ambitious women,

Speaker 2 you either have no kids

Speaker 2 or you have maximum two. No kids or maximum two.
That's what I found. I've looked at it.
And why do you think that is?

Speaker 2 Because no kids, you have freedom. Yes.

Speaker 2 Two kids, you have balance. And it's what you can.

Speaker 2 At three kids, we're like at capacity. Like it's chaos in my house.
But like, imagine a woman shows up for a job interview.

Speaker 2 I'm just talking about like a woman that maybe doesn't have as much privilege. And she's like, I have three kids.

Speaker 2 The person on the other side is like, this bitch is going to have another baby soon. I don't know if I can give her the job.
You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's how I would feel.

Speaker 2 That's how I would feel. But I'm saying that's a very raw.
I don't know that you'd have to interl, because you're interacting with the people.

Speaker 2 I'm glad you brought that up. Can I tell you something?

Speaker 2 This is something I feel like people don't speak enough about because we, you know, the problem with almost every single conversation people have, not just in America, but in most places.

Speaker 2 But I feel like America does it, you know, in the most extreme way, is that

Speaker 2 you can't have a conversation about a thing because it's overlapped with so many other issues that then people think you're talking about when you're not talking about it, right?

Speaker 2 I'm glad you brought that up. Because even with us doing this, you being pregnant is the worst thing for the podcast.

Speaker 2 When I told them,

Speaker 2 I walked in, obviously, I was like, they were like,

Speaker 2 because my belly was showing at that point, I was past 12 weeks. And then Derek, shout out to Derek, who works with Trevor.
He was just sitting there answering as, they're doing the sum.

Speaker 2 Yeah, everyone has to do that. And they were like, congratulations.
Oh, yeah, we can make the podcast. When do you do it? It was so funny.
It was just a relief.

Speaker 2 And then they were like, no, but it makes

Speaker 2 Josh. I never, with you, I go, okay, when is Josh on the road? When is Josh touring? When is Josh on? Okay, cool, whatever.
But... You're not worried about Josh getting pregnant.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but when, no, but I'm not even worried about... What I'm saying is you being pregnant is the worst thing for our work schedule, right?

Speaker 2 Because you have to go see the doctor. Anything can happen at any time during the pregnancy.
And I had a high-risk pregnancy. There you go.

Speaker 2 You've got a high-risk pregnancy. So your body is this fragile thing that is doing this amazing thing that you have to watch out for on all these levels.

Speaker 2 So if Christiana's not well, I'm never going to put a podcast over your pregnancy. You know what I mean? I'll never ever be like, but the podcast, and you know this from me.

Speaker 2 I'm the person who's like, yeah, cancel. And by the way, like, so I feel very fortunate that I do this, the work I do and where I am in my career, that I have like partners.

Speaker 2 Like you guys were like, okay, how can we make this work? Right. That was like, okay, what are your dates? What do you want to take time off? When are your appointments?

Speaker 2 You know, they're the queen, the kings and queens of, you don't, you seem tired. Go, go sleep or whatever.

Speaker 2 But most women don't work in environments

Speaker 2 that are like that. Yeah, but it's like, you know, you're getting fired, you're getting demoted, you're taking time off, you're coming back at a lower level, you're already like postpartum.

Speaker 2 It's the worst thing you can do for your career, having a baby. So that's the truth, but no one says that.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 We don't talk about these things because people feel like you're conceding something that they don't want to concede, right? Having a child is terrible for your career.

Speaker 2 Having a child is also terrible for the work environment, like for the actual, for your company, your office work it's not great for them it's bad for the dads too by the way because a dad is like i want to spend more time with my kids yes like it's just bad it's bad it's a good dad

Speaker 2 a good dad

Speaker 4 can i tell you the the the men that you would not know had children

Speaker 4 you'll be in a fantasy league with them and not know they have a child

Speaker 4 you will know their number one seed and not know

Speaker 2 that they have a child okay for a someone who wants to be an active and present yes yeah father in the current like capitalist framework we have thank you where your work is on your phone yeah like your email you can't escape it

Speaker 2 it's very tough after work drinks socializing now they're like returned to the office they don't want us to work from home right so you're away from your family all day if you're a man that wants to see your kids and be present it's it's bad for you as well but i think with and it's an argument conversation me and lewis have a lot, the woman, you take on the actual physical brunt of the pregnancy.

Speaker 2 The emotional, physical labor, the hormones, it's, it's feeling like you're being invaded. I find pregnancy very disembodying.

Speaker 2 I'm not one of these women like, I had the most beautiful prime in my life. I was glow.
I feel like shit. Like, I don't enjoy it.
And I've had really, I've had rough pregnancies.

Speaker 2 I've had, my last birth was my favorite birth. I felt really powerful.
I knew what I wanted. Like, I felt very confident.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it was just like I'd done it enough times before to be like listened to. And postpartum was, I couldn't even really dwell on it because I had two, I have the two other children.

Speaker 2 But for a lot of women, it's this earthquake and you're constantly feeling aftershocks.

Speaker 2 And whatever decision you make, right, whether you decide to stay at home with your children or also work as well, you don't have the support for the most part.

Speaker 2 Like I find my friends that stay at home mums, they live really isolating existences and they do work that's not respected.

Speaker 2 So I've been experiencing this through different lenses and in different ways.

Speaker 2 So I've gotten to experience the professional side of it with you, you know, pregnancy and a woman having children in the work environment, which I've loved.

Speaker 2 Like it's, it's, because anything that gives me insights, I love. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like if I was in that plane that flipped over, I would love it because I'd be, I've always wanted to be in a plane that crashes. but I would like to experience it and then come out on the other side.

Speaker 2 Does that make sense? So if I don't live, I have. It's concerning, but it makes sense.
No, what I mean is like, I love things that give me insights. Yeah.
So what is it like?

Speaker 2 Oh, I now know what it's like. You've seen it up post multiple times now.
Yes, exactly. Right.
So, but then

Speaker 2 one of my best friends and his wife, they just had twins. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oof, indeed. And like, there've been some days where there's nobody to look after the twins.

Speaker 2 I don't know how many months old they're, but they're like tiny. They don't walk.
They don't do anything. They're still in like that.
You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're just, they're like, they're like blobby.

Speaker 2 They can hold their no,

Speaker 2 they don't do they can hold their necks up

Speaker 2 their necks are now they're able to hold their necks up

Speaker 2 yeah they're infants and some days it'll be like me and him looking after them right for hours on end hours on end and the other day we were sitting together and we'd we're just like rotating the babies and he like broke his back many years ago and then now carrying the babies and the stroller the back injury came back so for like a week he couldn't carry babies oh my god so now i'm helping him with both of the babies and i'm running around.

Speaker 2 But there was a point where we were sitting together, and you know what this is like, you know, but the baby starts like crying in a rotation. I call it witching hour.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So just as one baby starts crying, it cries, it cries, it cries, it cries, it cries, you finally figure out what it is.

Speaker 2 Maybe it wanted to be rocked, maybe it wanted to be fed, maybe it wanted to be burped, maybe it just wanted to move. Sometimes they just want to stand up.

Speaker 2 Sometimes babies just don't like you to sit down. This is what I've learned.
Like babies are like, why are you sitting? Like babies should be bosses in every office in the world.

Speaker 2 They do not tolerate sedentary lifestyles. Babies are just like, why are you sitting? He's like, what do you mean? I'm chilling.
The baby's like, nah, nah.

Speaker 2 Then you stand, then the baby's like, yeah, this is good. I like this.
I like this. That's all the baby's doing.
Yeah, yeah. You finally get the baby to chill or sleep.

Speaker 2 And then the other baby's like, all right, my turn. Let's see what we can do with this.
So we're in this spiral. We're in this thing.
We're in this.

Speaker 2 I'm rocking, singing, burping, bumping, jumping, doing everything with these babies.

Speaker 2 And I think like two hours in, I looked at him and I said, yo, how much longer do we have? And he said, what do you you mean we're the whole day

Speaker 2 and then i looked at him and i said

Speaker 2 how how do women how do they exist and what i mean by how like how do women exist is

Speaker 2 i don't understand how we've created a system

Speaker 2 where we act like that is not happening to everyone yeah most people especially in america cannot afford childcare no they don't have support they don't have systems they don't have so they're leaving their kids at home at a young age if they get to that age where they can, or some people are like bringing the kid with them where they can and how they, but I don't understand how we're going to live in a world where we, on the one hand, tell people, hey, the birth rate is dropping.

Speaker 2 We need to have more kids. Why aren't we having kids? This is not sustainable.
But then on the other hand, not support the very same people who need to have the kids to sustain a population.

Speaker 2 And let's not even talk about... And I think this is around the Western world, the housing crisis.
It's so expensive. Yeah, yeah, no, it's all of it.
Schools aren't good.

Speaker 2 but private schools are super expensive. So it's just like everything is working against you.
And then I'd say, like, on a really,

Speaker 2 maybe it's like, I don't think it's vain. For a long time, you don't feel like yourself in your body.
You have this baby, you're lumpy, you're soft, you don't feel sexy. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's like you're scrolling Instagram, and you're like, you know, a Zempek, everyone's very hot and thin right now. And you're just like, I feel like, blah.
Can I tell you, just as an aside,

Speaker 2 two things. One, I still think GLP1

Speaker 2 slash that whole world is unlocking something deep in humanity that we haven't even like, we haven't tapped into. I think it's unhacking a lot of the hacking that has happened to us, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And if you're listening, I'm not saying like, go and take Ozempic or all of these things, but I genuinely believe that almost everyone in society in some way should be on it because I feel like in the same way that microplastics are everywhere now, I think we've all been like poisoned by foods that have hacked our systems.

Speaker 2 And I think these drugs are the first things that are undoing a lot of that hacking.

Speaker 2 I don't know how long, like, how long it'll last and how people will feel good. I'm not

Speaker 2 endorsing it in any way, but I just think GLP-1 in particular.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 have you seen how now, like big food companies, you know, for lack of a better term, fast food companies and then chips and snacks and all of that, have you seen that they're working on GLP-1 blockers in their food?

Speaker 2 So they will basically become Ozempic resistant. They are trying to make food now

Speaker 2 that can resist Ozempic and Monjaro and all of these drugs

Speaker 2 because the people who take this aren't eating junk food and aren't becoming overweight and aren't getting sick and are becoming more fertile and are becoming like they gamble less, they buy less, they smoke less, they drink less, they shop less, they do everything less of the unhealthy.

Speaker 2 And because of that, they're actually going to make food

Speaker 2 that is going to block the block so that they can get you back into that. Sorry, that's just

Speaker 2 like.

Speaker 4 I wonder what that's going to do to people who really weren't in this at all. Like, if you, like,

Speaker 4 if you just like regular Doritos and you aren't going anywhere near Ozempic, are you going to be like, Look, I'll do anything for you. Yeah, you might be like, Are you going to lose your mind?

Speaker 2 You might be crack hungry, actually.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's it. No, you actually might be crack hungry because GLP-1 is produced naturally, as I understand it, right? So, it's something that your gut is supposed to produce when you are full.

Speaker 2 Most food hacks that feeling. But if you, if you have a healthy gut, your stomach tells you, okay, you're full.
So now to your point, if it blocks that, yeah, we might get like cracked Doritos now.

Speaker 4 Yeah. This is what makes me feel crazy.

Speaker 2 You brought children into this world.

Speaker 2 Well, I. How could you? Well, the worst thing is being like postpartum in the age of Ozempic.
Cause like, I think I've been through like the entire life cycle.

Speaker 2 So when I had OB in 2020, then it was COVID, but it was a wave of body positivity.

Speaker 2 and everyone was saying you're not your body thank your body for just keeping you alive because you know the stakes were different

Speaker 2 it was like viruses so you were just like oh I've got this thing that keeps me alive good for you it didn't matter how it looked and now the algorithm is just feeding me oh you're postpartum how to get your body back basically eating disorder yeah content like lean is law it's like but and and every the timeline does look different because so many people are on GLP ones and you look at the red carpet from the Oscars or the Grammys and you're like people look really really different.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And like, everyone, everyone is honest.

Speaker 2 So there's also being a woman that's just had a baby in a very different cultural space where a maternal body is like, no one, no one wants to see evidence that you've had babies.

Speaker 2 We hate those bodies. It's a mum bod.
It's so rude, right?

Speaker 2 You know what's funny is that there's a dad bod, but we don't even have the baby.

Speaker 2 Trevor. It's true, though.
It's pretty funny. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, dads just get it, you know what I mean? Men Men are really, we really have finessed the game in a good way because they'll go like, oh, mom bod. Yeah, she's had kids.
Dad, bod.

Speaker 2 You never had kids.

Speaker 2 You've never physically had the children. Why are you using this as an excuse?

Speaker 4 I have not had to support someone all the way through a pregnancy. I've had friends who have been pregnant.

Speaker 4 I've had, you know, I mean, like, I've just never been in a relationship with someone who was pregnant and then seeing the whole thing through. So I'm not acting like that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 You know, Josh is not a good person. Very supportive.
You were when I was pregnant with Obi. No, no, no.
Bring me stuff. This is is a thing I do.
I have

Speaker 2 snacks. This is the thing I have with Josh, just generally.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's because you're southern, or I don't know if it's because of just like your vibe.

Speaker 2 Sometimes you'll say a thing, and I love this about you, but I think it leaves people thinking you said something you didn't say.

Speaker 2 Because what you just said now, I think for some people, what they might have heard is, I have not stayed around for full pregnancy. I have never supported someone fully.
Yeah, yeah, never, yeah.

Speaker 4 No, it's the way I worded it, but I just I'm not trying to have any stolen valor of like, oh, yeah, I helped this person.

Speaker 2 No, I know, I know, I know you. I know.

Speaker 2 This is like, this is over-wokeness, you know.

Speaker 2 I know, by the way, I'm an ally for people who have been pregnant. However, I myself have been, but now you sound like a dip it.

Speaker 2 The way you said it sounds like Josh was like, so I want you to know that I've never stayed around

Speaker 2 to see an entire pregnancy through. I've been there when they told me, and I've been there when they were done.
But I've never, no, Josh,

Speaker 2 you're not saying.

Speaker 4 I've never got anyone pregnant. Cool.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And so I've, I can only imagine what it's like to actually be, you know, like Lewis or in that situation.

Speaker 4 But the closest thing I can guess from the dudes I know who have, you know, had kids and everything is not just gaming the system in a way of like, there's very little that a dad has to do.

Speaker 4 There's also, you want to do something, there's nothing for you to do. So I equate it to like how it feels when you've hired movers.

Speaker 4 Because now you've hired the movers and they're in your house and they're doing all the work and you're like, oh, I could. And they're like, you would literally be in the way.

Speaker 4 If you help me right now and you hurt yourself,

Speaker 4 I can't help you. So like, just be over here.
And so now you're standing in the corner while somebody moves all your stuff and you're like, but I think I could help you. You can't.
Trust me.

Speaker 4 We work out all day and we move all day.

Speaker 4 We don't need you coming down the step. Woo-woo.
And then now all of a sudden your neck is broken and we don't get paid.

Speaker 2 I feel so bad.

Speaker 2 I'm such a mean pregnant woman.

Speaker 2 That's not true. Not true.
Or maybe in the house. In the house.
Ah, Trevor, you'd be like, oh, bye.

Speaker 2 No, I think my character flaw is that when I'm frustrated with things, there's always like the target of my frustration, even if it's not that person themselves.

Speaker 2 So I think Lewis had to absorb a lot of my complaints about, but also I've had three kids for this man. So I feel like this.

Speaker 2 I like how quickly it went from. I was like, man, this poor guy's, yo, I had these kids with him.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It is.

Speaker 2 He's like

Speaker 2 your favorite line. That's what he calls it.

Speaker 4 We must be seeing what Lewis sees about.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Like a little bit of rationalizer and then a little bit of like, nah, you did this to me.

Speaker 2 But, you know, he's very active, supportive. He's a great parent.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm always like, if any, I say to him, like, if you died and left me a widow, I'd go and get you back because I can't do this without you. No, just don't die.
But that's beautiful, though.

Speaker 2 No, but like he's just...

Speaker 4 It's beautiful as a threat.

Speaker 2 I mean, but it's beautiful. It's like, stay healthy, go to the doctor.
But, like, how big is your community? Like, how do you... Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Is it just the two of you raising the kids for the most part?

Speaker 2 Because your parents are in the UK. My parents are in the UK.
His family is in New York. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We were very fortunate enough to have a nanny who focuses on two, luna well now we just use numbers for the children so we get their name wrong just your numbers

Speaker 2 focuses on two um

Speaker 2 lewis currently does the heavy lifting with one okay so he gets obi dressed for school gives him breakfast takes him to school takes him to any activity he needs to have and then brings him back etc etc and i focus on three okay um but we have a like a great village like my parents come out to New York this week to record these episodes.

Speaker 2 My parents came out from London.

Speaker 2 They're currently in the hotel like 10 minutes away with cora um three lewis's parents have already come out they came out shortly after cora was born and they spent two weeks with us helping us out so even though we don't have our village always physically pres present people are very supportive and i think you know it's great to have like the physical support but so much of parenting is just like the psychological toll and you guys are part of the village like friends Family, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 Checking in. Three of my best friends from my childhood, well, it was schoolgirls together.
We were in a group chat and we're always like encouraging each other. Do they also have kids?

Speaker 2 They also have kids.

Speaker 2 They also have kids. And we're all in different life phases with the kids and ages.

Speaker 2 And even before they were like, how are you? How are you feeling? You've got your pump. Like you're texting me.
Yeah. Or if I came in today.

Speaker 2 So we have a village. We are incredibly supported, but we still most days feel like we're treading water.
So I cannot imagine how I think most parents in America or in the West are just drowning.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm glad you said in the West West because that's something that I've found is the ultimate

Speaker 2 paradox of coming from a developed country versus a developing nation. You know, so first world, third world,

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 the thing that you're sold in developed nations is that you have everything. Oh, it's great.

Speaker 2 The roads work and the schools are fantastic and there's healthcare and, you know, this is a great country to be in.

Speaker 2 The one thing that nobody seems to tell you is that as a country becomes more and more developed the one thing that gets eroded is community yeah

Speaker 2 the village disappears yeah and what you have to do is you have to buy the village back yeah you know yeah so buy the house you literally you have to buy somebody to look after your kid you have to buy somebody to help you clean your house you have to buy somebody to help you cook your kid you have to buy somebody to cook you have to buy you're buying the same the same village that they tricked you into not having like i always i always i'm always amazed at the con of it all.

Speaker 2 This machine, this larger thing, told everyone, you should get your own house and you should live by yourselves. How can you still live with your parents in the same house? This is ridiculous.

Speaker 2 And so, everyone goes off. They get their own house to live by themselves.
They have a kid. And now you need somebody to come and look after the kid, but they can't just come a few.

Speaker 2 If you, you know what, you should get a bigger house. They could live with you.
You could have a live-in nanny. Yeah.
Where I'm from, they call that an aunt or a sister. They call that a grandmother.

Speaker 2 They call it a sister. They call it a and and in the west, that's one of the biggest things I've realized is every time people bring up statistics of how birth rates are declining in the west,

Speaker 2 I'm amazed at how people never seem to want to talk about the fact that the West doesn't encourage people to have kids.

Speaker 2 And what I mean by encourage is not telling people to do it, but encouraging is facilitating, I think, in many ways. Yes.

Speaker 4 So I remember years ago when we had this conversation for the first time of like being careful not to let people convince you you need to like buy the people you need and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 Because at the end of the day, this person you pay, this person you pay, this person you pay, none of them would like come and get you. Yeah.
Like that's not who you call. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 It's like, no, no, I just watch your kid. I'm not going to come get you from a bar.
Yeah. Because they're not your friends.
Yeah, they're not.

Speaker 2 And so they can become in some ways

Speaker 2 over time, but yes.

Speaker 4 And so then

Speaker 4 there's like that specific aspect, which I've tried to like apply to my life. And I've tried to tell as many people as possible, like, hey, hey, this could be a friend.

Speaker 4 Because that's what we're doing with AI now. Like, there's literally like AI friends in a way.
I'm like, guys, come on, come on.

Speaker 4 Try it with a person. You know what I mean? It won't be perfect.

Speaker 4 But then the other thing that you both have sort of like helped me contextualize for the first time is that like it's it's amazing that business is able to do the things that people think are impossible in their own life.

Speaker 4 So you you're your Doritos, your lays, your whatever. You see Ozimpic, everyone says that everybody's on it, but a lot of people can't even afford it.

Speaker 2 All people essentially.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and so it's like, this is just the first like 2% of what we're going to see from these drugs. And already they're like, okay, then we need blockers.

Speaker 4 We need blockers so that by the time the poor can afford it, it won't even work.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 4 And that thing is like seeing a need and addressing it immediately.

Speaker 4 Whereas like with people,

Speaker 4 they're telling us you should have kids. There's a birth decline, everything.

Speaker 4 It's like, well, then, as a business, don't you think that it would benefit you as quickly as possible to institute some sort of like maternity-paternity leave to

Speaker 4 have these systems set up in your business so that way the next crop of people that you hire will be comfortable having a kid. And now you have more employees for the future.
But everyone is like so

Speaker 4 compounded on.

Speaker 4 And because we were made to be cogs, not not like people. Like if you if you you talk about the birth rate and

Speaker 4 only some people care about the birth rate, the rest of the people talking about the birth rate care about the supply.

Speaker 2 No, they do.

Speaker 2 They completely care about it that way. They go the market is going to collapse.
Yeah. That's what they mean by the birth rate.
They're not saying it like people will disappear.

Speaker 2 They're saying, guys, if this happens at some point, the economy is going to collapse. We're going to have no labor force.
There won't be a new labor force. You're not wrong.

Speaker 2 It is completely through the lens of labor.

Speaker 4 I think. And so that just blows my mind that we're there.

Speaker 2 I mean, what they've seen, I think there was Japan a few years ago experienced the first year where they sold more adult diapers than diapers for babies.

Speaker 2 Oh, because they have this huge geriatric population,

Speaker 2 but people aren't having kids. But to both of your points,

Speaker 2 maybe because of the way I was raised. And so my husband's Dominican, so very immigrant family, very family focused.
Dominicano. Dominicano.
And I'm Nigerian, and you know what that means.

Speaker 2 We live in LA, which some people say is a vapid place or whatever, but there are good people there. And we focus a lot on building our community.
Like we take our friends' kids.

Speaker 2 Even when I was pregnant, I'll take a friend's kid and people take our kids. And one thing I will say in this postpartum period,

Speaker 2 spending time with other people and being...

Speaker 2 active in our trying to build that community, it paid dividends in small ways. There was a mum at Obie's school who sent me a text and she was like, I've dropped something at your door.

Speaker 2 Like it was that, it was like a very sweet yeah yeah yeah big up lane she dropped something at my door and I looked out she'd brought me just some tea I had another friend my friend Chris she was just like I'm in the neighborhood and she'd bought food like that you can heat up and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 And then Cora's godparents, Dara and Emmy, they came by, just held the baby for a bit.

Speaker 2 So I think sometimes we complain about not having community, but are we trying to be good community and village members?

Speaker 2 And I think that we're in this like me, me, me, selfish society, whether it's about, whether you're about your grind, your money, your holidays, whatever you're into.

Speaker 2 And we've actually forgot how to be village members. And we, then we were shocked.
We don't have a village. So for the last couple of years,

Speaker 2 I was doing that myself. So I was just like, how can I be better to the people around me or just show up in the small ways that I can?

Speaker 2 And this is why I think this third time around, being in a country that's not my own, I felt more settled, more supportive, more checked in because I was always, I've been more present for other people.

Speaker 2 And I think that that's a hard thing to say to mothers or parents: that, like, how many people are you there for? Because you're like, well, I'm drowning.

Speaker 2 But I think if you have that mentality of like, what's the little thing I can do for, you know, is there a parent in my child's class that I can be like, oh, I'll drop them home sometimes.

Speaker 2 Or what's the little thing you can do? And that accumulates. And that's how you build a village.

Speaker 2 Don't go anywhere because we got more. What now? After this.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 there's a paradoxical idea that is very difficult for people to accept, but it is almost unanimously agreed on as being true. And that is

Speaker 2 that over time, loads starts to like level off if it was a curve. You know what I mean? So if you're looking after a child, it's a lot of work.
If you're looking after two children, it's more work.

Speaker 2 You know, three children, it's work. It's weird, but at some point, the work doesn't actually increase

Speaker 2 at the same rate. You know what I mean? So it's not jumping.
Are you pitching me to have more kids? No, no, no. But surprisingly, it really isn't.
It isn't jumping in the same way.

Speaker 2 Now, costs might jump, and don't get me wrong on that side. But like, think of it this way.
I love that you said that.

Speaker 2 We live in a world. where everyone thinks, and I understand why people think this.
Everyone thinks that they're doing it alone, right?

Speaker 2 So you're grinding alone, you're running alone, you're having a baby alone.

Speaker 2 Everything you think you're doing alone, you really do think you're doing it alone. And the world, I think, tells you you're doing it alone.

Speaker 2 And then part of the way it does it to you, I feel is it tricks us into rewarding us alone. I think that's like a key thing as well.
Personal bonuses.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a personal bonus and it's like it's a private thing and it's your money, you know.

Speaker 2 But if you, to your point,

Speaker 2 took on a little more load in your world for somebody else, you don't realize how you've given them a thousand times more space, right?

Speaker 2 So, let's say a couple has their kids and they say to all the parents in their group, hey, send your kids on every Thursday, we'll look after everyone's kids if you want.

Speaker 2 Like, we're gonna host like a little mini kindergarten type thing. Now, don't get me wrong, you might hate your Thursdays.
You might be like, okay, this is war. Here we go.

Speaker 2 The invasion begins, 6 p.m., it's on. We hate our lives.
But the amount of space you've created for the other, let's say, five families that have dropped off their kids,

Speaker 2 it scales exponentially, like way beyond what you are receiving as load. Does that make sense? Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 They get to go off. They get to have a couple's date.
They get to go work more if they need to. They get to go sleep.
They get to do something.

Speaker 2 But if everyone is doing that on every day, all of a sudden you're in a world where we, which we should be trying to get back to, which is what we had when we were growing up.

Speaker 2 I know our parents had a tough time in South Africa. I know they did.
But I can can tell you they didn't have as tough a time, contrary to what people may believe.

Speaker 2 Because you might think coming from a third world country means you'll have a harder time raising kids. I actually think a lot of it was easier because the load was always shared.

Speaker 2 The load was always shared. It's so funny you say that about like community.
Right now, I'd say one of the most invaluable members of my community is my godsister Emily. Yeah.

Speaker 2 She moved in with us in January. And when I told like just strangers that, oh yeah, my godsister's going to move in with us.
people like, why would you want someone in the early 20s? That's so weird.

Speaker 2 I was like, yeah, you know, she's coming out to LA. She's got a job.
I'm like, you know, I love her to bits. I love her parents.
Just like, let her come live with us.

Speaker 2 And it's so, now I see the benefits of like intergenerational households. Yeah, people.
Because now Obi has someone to look to who's not as old as because she was, he was like, what are you?

Speaker 2 You're not a grown-up. Like, he doesn't even know what this thing is.

Speaker 2 He was like, well, I am a grown-up, but I am a young grown-up. So he has this thing to look to that he can play with.
It's like a pressure relief valve. Right.
I just have another

Speaker 2 sister in the house. Do you know what I mean? And then she has like an older sister and older brother to kind of look up to, to ask questions to.
And it's changed the rhythm of all of our lives.

Speaker 2 Like she's up early in the morning because of the kids. I'm learning about Chapel Rowan and all these crazy people because of her.

Speaker 2 I'm like, what on earth is it? No, but it's like, it's opening my mind. It's expanding my heart.
And it's just like we have a bigger family.

Speaker 2 Now, there's some cultures where you would never let someone live live with you yeah that is not in your but it's been one of the best things I think to happen to all of us yes and then when we had Lewis's parents there we had like the grandparents yeah parents and that's how and then I was like oh the rhythm where we're living now where someone's alone or you're having a two four family with 2.5 kids that is not how it's we're actually all supposed to be communal and have multiple generations in the same space and not having that is really bad for us I think it's the worst thing that we've done well I think about when I was little and staying at my grandparents, if my mom had to go to work, or like visiting my aunt, or, you know, whatever it was.

Speaker 4 And then my parents were separated for a little bit. So I go over to my dad's or whatever.

Speaker 4 And I was like, man, after what you just said and what you've been saying, I'm like, yeah, I spent just enough time with everyone that everyone liked me.

Speaker 4 Do you know what I mean? I didn't really have enough time to get on anybody's nerves in that way.

Speaker 2 Which is true, by the way. My mom was a single mom, right? And that's crazy.

Speaker 2 My son wasn't a burden.

Speaker 4 Because if you speak to most single mothers, today today they're like i'm overwhelmed over i'm drowning yeah and it actually impacts the relationship i have with this kid because i'm always strained and i'm tense yeah but just having that pressure relief valve like oh i like my kid to be fair to my mom it's like her breaks from me were work but at the same time sometimes it was just like going to my grandma's for no reason so it's like sometimes it was like yeah her break from me was having to like do her job but at the same time there were some times where i was just at my grandparents for no reason and not no reason, but to spend time with them.

Speaker 4 And so it's like, I was such a mama's boy as well that, like, by the time she comes to pick me up, I'm so excited, and she can be excited because I'm like, mom.

Speaker 4 Whereas, ooh, I remember one time, I don't know if my grandparents were sick or what it was, but I couldn't go over there. And it was just us.
And I was like,

Speaker 4 I do talk a lot.

Speaker 4 And my mom wasn't even yelling at me or anything.

Speaker 2 And I could see it on her face where I was like,

Speaker 4 this story is going on.

Speaker 4 I had to be like 11 or something. I was like, ooh, ooh.
It was like I was old enough to like recognize in her face.

Speaker 2 What do you call it again? Your self-awareness. That's like the age of self-awareness.

Speaker 4 And I want to get to the end, but she keeps looking at the ground.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 This was your first bombing in front of an audience. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 As a comic, you know that feeling where you're like,

Speaker 2 should I finish the bit? Should I? Yeah. Oh, I've lost them.
Oh, I've lost them.

Speaker 4 Because if I stop the story right now, I'm going to seem like I have a head in. Yes.
She's going to take me to the hospital. Because I'm like gearing up.

Speaker 4 And it's like, I don't think the turn is enough. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Trevor, you were raised like that, right? Yeah, I was completely. Village, compound, people, your cousins.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you,

Speaker 2 probably one of the biggest things that... keeps me afraid of having a kid, especially in America, is

Speaker 2 I just, I'm like, it doesn't seem like what would want a childhood to be. No, it's not.

Speaker 2 Also, because of how they've robbed children of autonomy. Yeah.
Like when I was a child, you know what my job was? 99% of the time, go play.

Speaker 2 That was like my job. That was like my official.
If you said to me, like, what is your job? I'd be like, I got to go play.

Speaker 2 My mom, my grandmother, they would say, go outside and play. You go play with other children.
You go to the park. You meet the other kids at the park.
And you play.

Speaker 2 The park hierarchy figures itself out. There's a kid that swings the swing too hard.
You might fall, you cry, then you stop crying.

Speaker 2 And then you, when I walk past playgrounds today, there's a little prison yard. Yeah.
Every parent is watching every kid, like every parent. Every parent.
They're really surveilled. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You could have two parents watching 30 kids. I think you'd be fine.

Speaker 2 I genuinely think you could be fine. I don't know why people don't have contracts at the park and just be like, all right, guys, who are the two parents of the day? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You should be two people just. We're all afraid of paedophiles.
Yeah, But this is an overblown. It's a crazy.

Speaker 2 Do you know how, you know, I've been on this deep dive recently of going down rabbit holes, seeing where our like fears and all these ideas came from.

Speaker 2 A few kids got kidnapped when the news thought it was the best story. And now everyone's like,

Speaker 2 every kid gets kidnapped. No, children don't get kidnapped.
But also, if you want to take any kid, I'm not worried about my kids getting kidnapped.

Speaker 2 The kidnapper will bring them back. The number, and I know someone will be like, what about this kid?

Speaker 2 No, I'm not saying no kids get kidnapped, but I'm saying for the amount of stress that people have about it. Yeah.
Trust me, you could have two parents at a park. It's already fenced in.

Speaker 2 Tell the rest of the parents, go hang out, go have fun, go talk to each other, get to know each other, build your community, let your kids figure it out. Kids are not,

Speaker 2 if you're, I can't imagine what it would be like watching my child slide down a slide every single time.

Speaker 2 It's miserable. I would hate them and I would hate myself.

Speaker 2 Daddy, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Daddy, look again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Daddy, look again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, at some point, and I'm not saying that I don't want to see the kids slide ever, but I also want the kids to slide for themselves.

Speaker 2 I don't want the kids to live in a world where they're only sliding when daddy or mommy's looking. And I also want them to know that, like, you can fall off a slide.
Yeah. I'm not going to catch you.

Speaker 2 There's going to be moments where you're going to fall and you're just going to hit the ground and you're going to bump something and you're going to smack something and you're going to come back with like a bruise.

Speaker 2 Do you know how nice it was to go home to your parents and they go, what happened?

Speaker 2 Like, imagine not having that. Yeah, no, because then we have a story.
Exactly. You come home with

Speaker 2 Judge's back. But wait, but Christian, I wanted to know something.
Like, you keep saying postpartum. Yes.
For

Speaker 2 everyone, because I mean the fourth trimester. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I'd love to know for everyone, you know, for men, but for people who haven't had kids, please can you break this down? Like, everyone just talks about postpartum.

Speaker 2 And then sometimes I'll hear people say postpartum depression.

Speaker 2 What is postpartum? Like, what is it actually? It's the immediate period

Speaker 2 after you've had a child. Okay.
After you've given birth, it goes up until, well, they say the doctors say it takes two years for your body to be what it was before.

Speaker 2 And it's never going to be what it was before, but to like kind of get back to it.

Speaker 2 And postpartum looks different for everyone, but there's this huge hormonal crash because your body's making all these hormones to... grow the baby.
Yeah. And then there's this huge crash.

Speaker 2 And that can mean lots of different things. Your hair falls out for a lot of women.
I always, my hair falls out every time I lose it. So you, you lose the, like, or not lose your breasts.

Speaker 2 Your hair grows. Yeah, your hair grows in pregnancy.
Some of you glowing, your nails. Wow.
And then you have the baby and all of those hormones, like progesterone, everything comes down. And

Speaker 2 I get horrible night sweats. That's my really gross thing.
So in the night, I always have to, I have night sets so bad, my fingers wrinkle and I get shivers.

Speaker 2 So that wakes me up and I put on some new pajamas every time. So you get stuff like night sweats, hair falling out.

Speaker 2 You know, in the immediate period when you're breast if you're breastfeeding your breasts get really engorged and they like breastfeeding can be quite rocky for some people your skin changes obviously your body changes all your organs are moving back into position like your uterus is coming down again you know because pregnancy moves your organs out the way um and then for some women that involves anxiety depression coming with the hormones also because the stress like a newborn is like a very fragile thing and i think from a completely like evolutionary biology perspective, your job is like to keep it alive.

Speaker 2 So it's just like some women get these things called phantom cries. You hear your baby crying even though they're not crying.
Which happens up. Which sucks.

Speaker 2 Which, yeah, you're just like, the baby's crying. And your husband's like, no, it's not.
But it's just like, it's, it's all of these things at once.

Speaker 2 And all the research shows that women in cultures who are more supportive, supported, have less postpartum anxiety.

Speaker 2 A big thing that actually helped me this time is that our pediatrician, she's an amazing woman called Dr. Priest, she does home visits.

Speaker 2 So Dr. Priest would come over and weigh Cora and ask any questions.
At home. At home, because before I would have to go to a different facility, go see the pediatrician somewhere else.

Speaker 2 So I think a big part of what helped my postpartum this time, that our pediatrician would come to the house, that I'd be in my pajamas. She'd do the exam and then she'd ask me like, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 She'd just chat, check in, how's breastfeeding go? Oh, you're not sure about the latch? Have you thought about this?

Speaker 2 Have you thought about, well her weight's great we're not oh you know it's just that having a a the person that was medically supervised to look after my child right was a big part in and her coming to the home that changed everything um so i didn't have the postpartum anxiety that i typically have had in the past and i think i had some of the confidence of a third-time mum um but you know postpartum is also a big identity shift because every time you have a baby you do go through that shift and now it's like a new identity as a mum of three or as the kid at my kids school said obi's mom why are you always having babies

Speaker 2 big up to her um so like obi's mom why are you always having babies and for a lot of women you don't want to just be known as a mother you still want to feel like yourself but

Speaker 2 you have to find a new self every time. And that's very unsettling.
You know, so like postpartum is a big thing. And I think it's not necessarily recognized, it's not talked about.

Speaker 2 And there's a lot of shame around it

Speaker 2 because no one wants to feel like they're weak or they're inadequate.

Speaker 2 You know, and I still think that's even in the most developed societies or more supportive society, we still haven't figured out how to help women in that next life phase.

Speaker 2 And that's where I find in traditional cultures,

Speaker 2 I can speak specifically like in South African ones,

Speaker 2 a lot of that load is just taken off your shoulders. So, for instance, one of the big ones is

Speaker 2 elderly women sort of tell you that you don't know what you're doing. And they're like, it's fine.
They don't even give you the whole, like,

Speaker 2 you're supposed to know what. No, no, no.
No, no. They're just like, no, no, no, bring the kid, bring the baby.
You don't know what you're doing. Go sleep.
Go rest. Go sleep.

Speaker 2 And then they look after the baby and someone cooks for you.

Speaker 2 And another person does your clothes and they'll like make sure your clothes are clean and they wash you and they help you and they comb your hair. Then they bring the baby back.

Speaker 2 But the job of elderly women in a lot of like South African society and African society as a whole, they'll just be like, no, no, no, your job was to have the baby.

Speaker 2 Our job as the village is to help you raise the baby now. But you relax, you go sleep.

Speaker 2 You almost, I would be, I would be intrigued to find out if anyone who grew up in a very traditional society, if they have phantom cries, because I feel like if you know that there are other women looking after the baby, I wonder if your brain can like actually turn off and go like, it's fine.

Speaker 2 They're not crying. And even if they were crying, somebody's there looking after them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I like for obi and for luna i did a thing called omogu which is in ibbo culture the 40 days after you have a baby my mum came and my dad being very modern also joined my mum for this thing the first time he did this i can't believe i'm doing this woman

Speaker 2 but he came out and they did all of that like they'd made like the pepper soups and my mum was doing the belly binding and all of that stuff this time it we we didn't do it but yeah that whole thing of being really having people around you.

Speaker 2 There's a TikTok video that's gone super viral

Speaker 2 of as a group of black women, they drive up to their friend's house, they're playing Girl by Destiny's Child, and they're screaming it. And their friend closes the window and shuts the curtains.

Speaker 2 And they're like, girl, they're singing the song. They're like, you need to come outside.
And they break down the door. Basically, she was postpartum.
And she'd been sending these texts about

Speaker 2 not feeling too good. And they were like, we were going to, we broke down the door to see her.

Speaker 2 And I think like, if you're in a culture where it's not like South Africa or Nigeria or like developing countries where the system is in place, Like your friends need to be willing to break down the door, like just intrude.

Speaker 2 You know, like, because in the West, you're so afraid of intruding. Yeah, your personal spaces

Speaker 2 are overly respected. You know, there's cultures where people just show up to your house.
Here you plant. You don't have to be afraid of yourself.
Hey, Josh, are you home?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you go to a restaurant here. You don't even go to people's house.
I think don't be afraid to intrude in those words, like, you good? You good? You good?

Speaker 2 Because I think most women and men are afraid to ask for help. So you have to just like do the thing.
Don't say, what do you need? Just do a thing. You know what we should do?

Speaker 2 We'll actually have an episode on, we should bring somebody on who like specializes on,

Speaker 2 I mean, the topic of maternity and the, because I think there's a, there's a, there's a lot in it that we could enjoy.

Speaker 2 Because I, one of the biggest things I've come to realize in having conversations about everything really is you'll be shocked at how many times the thing that you think doesn't affect you completely affects you.

Speaker 2 You know, so you think, oh, we're talking about pregnancy or postpartum. Most men will go, well, I guess I'm not part of this conversation.

Speaker 2 But even in the moments we've had here, I think about how many men out there are at an office now, stressed out, out of their minds, and not figuring out what to do, or emotionally drained because they don't feel like they're showing up for their kid or not understanding how to be supportive to their partner.

Speaker 2 You know, some men out there, like Josh, are not supporting the pregnant women in their lives at all.

Speaker 2 They're not sticking around for the pregnancy.

Speaker 4 I am doing my best.

Speaker 2 I am only so involved because it is not my child.

Speaker 2 No, but I think we should do it. We should have like a full-on,

Speaker 2 you know? Okay, I have a question for both of you. Okay, what's yeah, you had the Josh question.
What's the Josh one? Do you want kids?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. It's tough because I don't think so.
And it used to just be my shortcomings as a person that I felt like I needed to figure out.

Speaker 4 And then it became a little bit of like how the state of the world and everything, which I know is like here and there.

Speaker 4 Like that's never going to be a a right time in the world to have a kid or anything.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I guess I still don't know, which is like, you know, like a privilege and a luxury.

Speaker 4 I definitely feel like I need to figure it out in the next few years because I don't want to be an old dad. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Like, I don't want to be one of those dads that becomes a dad at like 55 and then goes to pick up their kid and other kids are like, what's wrong with your dad?

Speaker 2 But you know what?

Speaker 2 All the dads now are old old dads by the way josh yeah yeah yeah so i guess it wouldn't be and and i will say you might say old dad i would say wise dad wise dad yeah because i find like older parents just carry themselves a little different they may not be able to run and jump as high yeah that's what i'm worried about is i can't play ball like a wise dad yeah but you know what a wise dad is more patient with their kid who can't hit the ball yeah that's what i find yeah that's fair because he also can't hit the ball yeah exactly whereas a young dad is still out there being like oh come on hit the come on

Speaker 2 there's just a little too much testosterone. So I don't think you've missed.
And also, just to the point you said previously, the world has never really been in a better place. I'll also say that.

Speaker 4 No, that's fair. And that's why.

Speaker 2 We think of it through the lens of like microplastics. Guys, there was a time when

Speaker 2 one flu killed your whole family. Yeah.
Now, imagine having a child during that time. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think the reasons keep... shifting, but I think when you're so unsure about something, it is

Speaker 4 it's a it's a real like sink or swim thing. Like if, if I'm making a decision that's career-wise and I'm very unsure, I'm like, what am I really scared of? Maybe just do it and see what happens.

Speaker 4 But like another person

Speaker 4 is not a see what happens, you know? And I, and if anything, I've been like even more stressed out by my friends who kind of had that attitude where I was like, I was like,

Speaker 4 So when did you know or when did you feel?

Speaker 2 And they were like, ah. And I'm like, oh, oh, what?

Speaker 4 What do you, and then, and don't get me wrong, those people I think are actually perfectly good parents because I think that they didn't go into it with that.

Speaker 4 They're probably the ones most likely to go ahead and be like, oh, you'll watch my kid for the afternoon?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's great.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 you'll find sometimes that the people who are like so well thought out and so overly helicopter make some of the most stressed out kids anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because they're so scared of making a mistake that now the kid is also, because I don't know anything about having kids, but I imagine those first few years, it's got to be a little bit like how when you have a when you have like a dog and you're clearly nervous, you're making the dog nervous because this kid doesn't know what anything is.

Speaker 4 No, so they just see you going,

Speaker 4 and then they're like, Yep, okay, is that is that life then?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Should life be like that, you know? So, Trevor, do you want kids?

Speaker 2 Oh, Mike, do I want kids?

Speaker 2 Uh, okay, how would I put it? Um,

Speaker 2 I don't want kids, but I don't not want kids.

Speaker 2 Right? I would hope that kids would be the byproduct of something that I'm experiencing. But to have kids...

Speaker 2 Sex.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Oh, but to have...

Speaker 2 So here's... Okay, here's why I'll say this.
I have the luxury in that I don't have a body clock like a woman does. So I start with that.
The second thing is... We'll put a pin in that.

Speaker 2 That's for another episode. Yeah, but I don't.
I don't have a body clock in that way, right?

Speaker 2 The other thing for me is that

Speaker 2 when I think of having a kid and I go like, why do you want a kid?

Speaker 2 It may be a little too esoteric, but I go, well, I don't want my kid to necessarily have the burden of me wanting them for that reason, to fulfill something in me or to not, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like it's great. I think it's important to not put that on the kid.
You have ego death already when it comes to. Yeah, like I don't like it when people do that with kids.

Speaker 2 You know, they go like, oh, I just want some, some people be like, they want something to be theirs. They want something to love them.
And then the kid doesn't do that.

Speaker 2 And they, and then you get like parents who guilt their kids. Why don't you, why don't you send your mom there?

Speaker 2 I can't believe, you know, I wanted a son who I'd be proud of. And you're like, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 What are you doing?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think genuinely, and I know it's not perfect, but I think a kid should be something where you go like, I have so much love to give that, man, I just need another human being to pour this into.

Speaker 2 I just have too much love. I just got to pour this love and pour this love and pour this love and pour this love out.
So I'm neither for nor against kids.

Speaker 2 The only thing I know is I have never met a person who regrets having children. Oh, you haven't? Never.
Genuinely, I've never met. I have.
But I've met many people who regret when they had a kid.

Speaker 2 Oh, interesting. And I've met many people who regret who they had the kid with.

Speaker 2 But I've never met somebody who regrets the kid themselves. Now, I'm sure there are outliers.
I'm sure.

Speaker 2 I've met people who got with somebody abusive, alcoholic, you name it in every shape and every way but they will go ah but this child i've met people who had a child and they're struggling financially and their life has really been hard and their family disowned them because of who they had the kid with and maybe the person left whatever it is

Speaker 2 they will still go but this child oh man this child the person they had it with they might regret the circumstances they might regret too young too busy, too this, too this, too that.

Speaker 2 So in that world, in that way, I just think to myself, I would love to be able to give somebody the greatest gift, which is not just being chosen, but which is being intentional.

Speaker 2 That's all I'd want.

Speaker 2 I want the kid, if they ask me, like, hey, why am I here? I go, no, because I just, I had excess love to give. And so that's why you're here.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I just wanted somebody to love. I think you two both make great fathers.
And I think this is how she tricks people just to. No, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 I think you make great fathers.

Speaker 2 And maybe one of the sad things about the world is that i i have friends that are like child-free by choice yeah and they'd make the most brilliant mothers or and fathers and it's often the people that are making the real calculus who've done that deep spiritual work who like experience ego death who make the decision not to be parents who would make brilliant parents i agree

Speaker 2 and but at the end of the day i think i don't see I came to a point where I don't see my children as possessions. Maybe this is very Christian mentality.
I'm like, you know, they're a gift from God.

Speaker 2 God has given me them to kind of guide in this world and uncover who they're supposed to be. But they're not just mine.
So I don't think you have to be, have children yourself biologically to parent.

Speaker 2 And I feel like if we had a more expansive view of parenting, that the children around us are our collective responsibility. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is literally. No, but then it's like, it's like, do you want...
biological children that live in your house. Yeah, that's all.
That's the question.

Speaker 2 But then it's just like, you can have children via other means. And then because I don't, my kids aren't my possessions, I'm just their custodians.
I'm here to like, yeah, guide them. My dream is, and

Speaker 2 I'll also caveat this because I don't want to fall into a Josh Johnson here, but like

Speaker 2 Michael Jackson messed it up. I'll start with that.
Because my dream was always,

Speaker 2 I was always like, I always wanted to create spaces in my house that would be great for kids that weren't mine.

Speaker 2 Because I thought it would be fun when my friend's kids come over and they go like, oh, Uncle Trevor's house. And he's got those video games and he's got an arcade machine.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, yeah, this is great for them.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I like the fact that

Speaker 2 people go, but you don't have kids. I'm like, yes, but there will be children in my life.
And I think it is cool that I can facilitate this for them in some way, shape, or form.

Speaker 2 But now, if you are a grown man with no kids who has a kids' basement for these things,

Speaker 2 there are problems.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. But I will say, though, one thing, last thing that I think could be helpful.
And this is maybe going to make you take back what you you said about me being a good dad.

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's,

Speaker 4 but this is, this is, you know, in a co-parenting situation, especially a situation where kind of like you said, Trevor, people are like, it shouldn't have been this person or something like that.

Speaker 4 I think that.

Speaker 4 One, one like sort of olive branch, one thing that you could do is be like, all right, look, let's be honest with each other as like mom and dad. Let's be honest with each other.

Speaker 4 You don't really want to be here, right? But you could help me out.

Speaker 4 Every time you are here, it's going to be like a big big celebration it's going to be like wow dad's here blah blah right but because i'm with the kids almost all the time you have to tell the kids hey if you act up if you disrespect your mom in any way

Speaker 4 i can't come in the house

Speaker 4 there's just something i that's i don't know psychological it's like it's like i wish i wish i could be there but you you were mean to your mom damn judge so dang i don't do that

Speaker 4 and then yeah

Speaker 2 now

Speaker 4 you know what you psychological wolf now i wouldn't do this because i would want to be there but I'm saying, if you already know this person is a deadbeat, they're not going to be there anyway.

Speaker 4 At least game the system a little bit. Be like, be like, ah, I have to move now.
You were so mean to me.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine the stress a kid is? Damage, the therapy. My dad didn't come because of me.
I didn't do it. Yo, but this was fun.
Okay. Christiana, congratulations.
Thank you. Congratulations.

Speaker 2 On a third healthy child.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you, that's the only thing I like,

Speaker 2 you know? Yeah. I don't take for granted the health of a mother, the health of a black mother, by the way.
Yeah. It's no joke.
Yo. So I'm happy that your baby's healthy.

Speaker 2 I'm happy that you are healthy. We're here, huh? Make it more people.
And we like

Speaker 2 still making the podcast. Yeah.
My favorite thing I learned when I was in Bhutan from a monk was he taught me, he said,

Speaker 2 he said, one of the hardest things to learn in life is that there will always be storms.

Speaker 2 But you will never live a full life unless you realize when you are between storms.

Speaker 2 So he says like the greatest joy in life is just learning to know when you are between storms. Because when you're in a storm, you're in a storm.

Speaker 2 But when you're not in a storm and you don't realize you're not in a storm, then you're not enjoying the fact that you're not in a storm.

Speaker 2 And so I'm excited because now with Christiana, we're no longer in a storm.

Speaker 2 She's not pregnant for a while. And so we get to enjoy that for a minute.
She's not for a while. She's not going to be pregnant again.
But you know what?

Speaker 2 I will take it as it comes. And if you get pregnant again, we will celebrate it.
But for now, we will enjoy this. This is fun, yo.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, and Jodi Avigan.

Speaker 2 Our senior producer is Jess Hackle. Claire Slaughter is our producer.
Music, Mixing and Mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you you so much for listening.

Speaker 2 Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now.