Kristen Johnston

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I always wanted to play the girl off to the side going, you know, did he call?

I liked the Roz Russells.

Welcome back to Everybody Knows Your Name.

Today's guest, Kristen Johnston, I've admired her for years.

And after our conversation, I admire her even more.

She's had an amazing career from stage to screen.

She's an Emmy-winning actor.

You know her as Sally Sullomon on Third Rock from the Sun and from shows like The X's, Mom, and The Righteous Gemstones.

She's the author of a New York Times best-selling memoir and also a recovery advocate.

You can see Kristen in the upcoming multicam sitcom Leanne that's premiering on July 31st on Netflix.

Let's cut to the chase.

Here she is, Kristen Johnston.

The last time we were together was either Bored to Death, in which I wasn't in that scene.

You were playing Dominatrix

with Jason Schwartzmann.

Yep.

And I just saw it again.

It's very funny.

You know, I spent two days in that latex.

And let me tell you, I don't know how those gals do it.

Yeah.

Those dominatrix.

I've never done that.

Oh, it's an adventure.

Sweaty, I would think.

It's very sweaty.

And getting in and then terrifyingly getting out.

Does one use baby powder to get in?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah.

It was, it was,

and then by the, when you pull it off, your whole body just goes,

you know, you just expand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that was fun.

We're talking bored to death, Jason Schwartzman.

I, Jonathan Ames was the creator of that.

It was, that's a great show.

No, no, they just.

asked me to do it.

I was like, yes.

Yes, sir.

One of my favorite writers I've ever, ever worked with.

I love that show.

That's a great one.

I got to rewatch that.

I haven't watched that in a couple of years.

Yeah.

He had this wonderful way of, there wasn't a perversion he wouldn't delve into with a total wide-eyed innocence.

Oh, really?

Yes.

There was like, he didn't, Jonathan himself doesn't know.

the word sarcasm.

Right.

You know, right.

If you say, if he says, how you doing?

I go, oh, great.

Yeah.

He goes, oh, good.

He does not get that and he's this gentle soul that just jumps into

you know right every perversion did you live in new york for that uh came to new york stayed for three months or so fun that's a fun job it was kind of yeah it every actor's dream or at least mine was to come back after

barely getting arrested in new york yeah college right to be able to come back and work Yeah, in New York, work in Brooklyn.

Oh, it's just such a treat.

It's so rare there, or at least it was i think it's getting better but yeah yeah

it is home-ish

like i'm here until i can move again back to new york because you want it that's my place that's my place the east coast oh because you have this have you started it's yes we finished shooting it yeah it's called the chuck lorry uh we finished we shot 16 episodes oh you've you've done so yeah we finished it last week um and then it airs in july but i don't know when this is airing so uh but anyway so whenever you want whenever i want it um it's on netflix and you know they dump them all at the same time and you just hope for the best i guess i don't know i don't know how it works over there but it was fun very impressive by the way

you can feel the entire world went

and watched you it's really oh really

okay yeah i've never had that i've never had i've never done the streaming thing yet i've only done it once and it was it turned out blessedly really well.

Good.

But the impact, you know, if you do a successful as you have sitcom or it's a low build,

it builds.

Yeah.

And then you sell sell into syndication and it builds a little more.

It's,

yeah, you can get big, but not that overnight.

Yeah.

Boom.

Yeah.

That's, I'm excited for it because I think it's really funny, this show.

Do you know who the Leanne Morgan is?

I watched her today.

I confess.

Sorry, Leanne.

I will now watch you some more because I didn't know who she was either.

I'm not a big stand-up person, but she is brilliant.

Yeah.

And she had never acted before.

And it's, you know, about her family, but a lot of the scenes focus on me and her.

I play her sister.

And she was like, you know, I'm 57.

I've never done this before.

So we were, we had to go right from the gate, just figure it all out together.

And she, she is incredible, incredible actress.

Really fun.

Three camera lives.

Four camera live.

Four camera live.

Yeah.

Did you have three cameras on?

Cheers.

Oh, okay.

Four, two.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was like, I've never seen that.

But yes.

So it's a, you know, old school, Chuck Laurie

audience,

which Chuck seems to work for Chuck.

It does seem to work for Chuck.

So, yeah.

And tell me, no, tell me more.

Tell me more.

See, I don't have the adrenaline

in my body to do four camera

anymore.

No.

It is hard, man.

Yeah, it's hard.

It's a great schedule, but you are doing a new play every week.

Yeah.

And it's a lot, a lot of lines.

And I've never actually done a sitcom where I'm the driver of a lot of the scenes.

You probably had to do that a lot in cheers.

You were kind of the driver guy.

There were a lot of drivers, though.

There were a lot of.

I was the beholder in cheers.

I beheld all the wackos.

Yes.

Okay, but you know what I mean?

But when you come in and your character's like, we're doing this, we're doing that, and we're talking a lot and blah, blah, blah.

So, that was kind of my job on this show.

And, um, it's a tough job, it's a hard job, man.

I felt because I did mom with Allison Janny, and I was in like three scenes a week, and I was like, This job is the best.

Yeah, and Allison drove every scene.

I saw her for lunch last week, I was like, Man, I now I really understand how hard you work.

I mean, started with the slow dumb joke, yeah, which is my speed.

That's my natural speed, and now for some reason, it's 77.

here's this page

and and then they very sweetly say you know they'll come up with some as if right but what they're really saying is please go way faster than you just delivered that really

because you're a pretty adept guy i mean you're you can do that dialogue adeptish adeptish yeah enough to get away with it anyway adeptish

but that's why i don't know that i want to do theater yeah anymore

anymore like i did a lot of the same one every night that's not a new show show every week.

Yeah.

I think you could, you would kill it.

No, I told it on this podcast, but I got terrified at the Atlantic.

My theater company.

Your theater company.

They did the, do you remember the 25

playwright 25th reunion

celebration or whatever.

25 playwrights.

Yes.

And I got a monologue that was 20 minutes long.

Okay.

Well, that's different.

That's a lot.

And you got it like the day before.

Well, you know, you had two rehearsals with Neil, the artistic director.

Right.

Oh, my God.

That's

totally, totally psyched myself out.

Oh, no.

You know, you do five, you do it five times in a week.

The first one,

literally 18 seconds in,

boom,

froze my brain.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

And I'd seen someone else go up the week before, and I thought someone would whisper your lines from the wings no it was that loudspeaker

yes from the both your line is so I thought oh I'll be clever and I'll say so Darcy

or Marcy I think it was Marcy what's what's my next line you know something like I was unflappable right

Darcy just sat down with her or Marcy with her cup of coffee right she has no idea where the hell she is stumps through quickly and gives me the line I had just said oh so I thought well, I'll try it, but I don't think it's going to go.

Sometimes it does.

That does help though.

But oh, that's a nightmare.

I went up once in Williamstown in a play, and you have two performances total.

And the first, it was the first night, and I had no idea.

And I'm looking at the actor, Bradley Cooper, was in the bread.

I looked at him, and he was like,

And it feels like it was probably 45 seconds of silence, but it felt like 45 minutes.

You're just,

it's horrible.

It's sticking your finger into a light socket it's the adrenaline yeah oh it's horrible it's that's hard my poor daughter katrina had to walk me who was in the audience

walk me afterwards around the city block with a huge jug of water to flush out this toxic levels of adrenaline and fun oh no

escorting you till you recover Yeah.

Yeah.

So anyway, that would be very scary to me.

Whereas at least three, four camera, why do I say three camera?

It was called three camera when it's oh, was it?

Yep.

Oh, three camera live.

Yeah, now it's just multi-cam.

Multi-cam.

Multi.

The audience, eventually, once they know you a little bit better or once they get to know you, love you messing up.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

So it's not a

deal.

No, it's not.

But you know, you still have that thing where you're like, you want to nail it.

And

he probably wants you to nail it.

Oh, Chuck likes us to be off books.

So he prefers prefers that.

Is he scary, friendly?

Is he your uncle?

He's kind of all of that.

You know, he is

brilliant.

And his great, I think his, the greatest gift he has, I mean, he's funny and all that, but he really understands what people go with what projects and writer, matching writers with actors and producers.

And he really understands the dynamics of that.

Is he running the room or was it someone?

Well, I think he was initially, and then he steps back after a couple episodes.

And then he, you know, watches them and edits them and all that stuff.

But he's not as hands-on.

He was the first few weeks.

And you don't know when it's coming out for

July 31st.

Oh, fantastic.

Yeah, it's all dumping.

Is there a shot that we can make sure that people?

Yes.

Oh, good.

He's all over it.

Yeah.

Fantastic.

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I love talking actor talk, talk and we'll continue talking active talk.

Actually, let's do that first.

But I also, you don't have to,

you can do anything you want.

We don't have to talk sobriety, but I love some of the things that you have started as a result of your sobriety.

I would love to talk about that with you.

Sure.

To me, those are the conversations

that make me happiest and most

real ones like that.

But backing up just a hair.

Yeah.

How the hell did you

go from in your description feeling very you know too tall too young

yeah to all of a sudden now i think i'm going to perform and i'm going to act and i'm going to get on the theater first theater first tell me that yeah journey from milwaukee yeah i think i just always it was my thing i just loved it i was so my mom was really into the arts as we were growing up so she would take us to all the plays in chicago and we would see all these productions and i just i loved it i loved it i wanted to do theater that was what i wanted to do

six seven oh really yeah early on yeah really early and just what you know seeing things like even a christmas carol every year i was just like i just want to do that so then uh when it came time to go to college i applied to nyu the tisch program and i got in and sort of went from there you know what year was that that was 85

Yeah.

That wasn't though, that wasn't,

doesn't the Atlantic also work with NYU?

NYU, yes.

So my sophomore year,

I, uh, one of my teachers recommended that I go to the pract, it was called the practical aesthetics workshop at the time.

They were like, it's David Mammet's company.

They do a summer program in Montpelier, Vermont.

Go up there and see what you think.

And that, that started my whole relationship with them.

Bill Macy.

Bill Macy and David Mammet and all those guys.

Yeah.

And mary and so your first play was where

my first time you were in front of a paying audience uh i don't know probably some off off broadway thing but my first like big theater break was with atlantic we did this play called the lights by howard corder at lincoln center and it was great

sorry you have a howard corder crush

i uh i'm breaking into a sweat he wrote the monologue oh no

it was brilliant yeah oh he's such a great writer so good oh he i love him i love his writing i love this play that i did it was insane and this crazy brilliant um

British director, I forget his name, and it was like all the music was by the Cronus Quartet.

And it was just this mind trip at the Mitzi Newhouse Theater.

But anyway, so that really started theater stuff.

How old?

I was probably 25, 24.

i don't know somewhere around there early 20s living in new york living in new york yeah having to work yes waitressing hosting yeah all of it that was married that was my wife married for seven years was she in new york did she start new yeah she lived in the neighborhood playout yes yeah and and

Somebody, I can't remember, one of the acting teachers, you know, got so kind of insulted or mad that she was asleep in the back row.

And somebody had to go, she works.

Yeah.

And she leaves here until three in the morning

yeah yeah she's a little more gentle did you do that were you i did all that i did all that yeah i mean i couldn't do it now no forget it i can barely show up for this

oh i have a podcast at two

if if you fall asleep we will be very gentle

we will film you

yeah

so um yeah so then i and then i just spent the next few years in new york and then you know we remember pilot season?

They don't do that anymore.

But

I would come out here every year.

And that's when I got third rock.

It was a couple of years after that.

Magnificent.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Changed my life for sure.

Yeah, but you were outrageous.

It was fun.

We had a good time.

Was outrageous always easy for you to tap into as an actress?

I don't know why.

I just always loved.

I just always kind of understood rhythm and timing, comedy, you know, the mathematics of comedy, kind of.

And you probably,

what?

I was about to say something.

Ted, maybe you shouldn't say it.

But there's probably, if you're six foot tall,

fuck it.

Yeah.

What am I going to do?

Oh, yeah.

Well, yeah.

You know, play the small.

Yeah.

No.

No.

And it just never interested me.

I always wanted to play the girl off to the side going, you know, did he call?

I liked the Roz Russells, you know, the Eve Arden parts.

I love all that.

I still do.

I just connect so much with those.

If somebody wants me to play a suit who stands up straight,

can't do it.

Yeah.

I can tilt to the left of the suit.

Yeah, yeah.

No, totally.

No, you got to put a spin on it.

It's something, something's wrong with him.

Whoever you're playing, you know, there's got to be something underneath there.

You can't just be like, how are you?

I couldn't, I just couldn't do it.

I remember during the 90s, during my heyday,

I did a Clairall commercial, a couple of them.

And, you know, it's money and let's do it.

But I had to be like into myself in a very kind of real, like, look how great I look.

I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it without, you know,

they were like, no, you have to be like, I was like, I can't.

I don't know how.

I don't know how to be like, you know, I can't even do it now.

So, yeah.

That's funny.

You are beautiful.

Oh, well, thank you.

You are cool.

But I don't think you can play goofy unless there's a part of you that knows that you're cool.

you know i guess yeah yeah yeah yeah

anyway that's what i tell myself you're cool ted

you couldn't be silly unless you were really cool

oh man i don't want to disabuse you of that but no i'm sure you're right we have another little thingy john john lithgow oh uh-huh one of my favorite actors

the greatest of all time absolutely just a gem i quickly i understudied him in the comedians in New York.

Neil,

who was that?

Mike Nichols directed.

Oh, my God.

I can't remember the British.

But

yeah, he was in that.

And I understudied him.

Yeah.

Never went on.

Thank God.

They were all so brilliant.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

He, him on stage is something else, man.

You know, he.

I'm so lucky that I, you know, started out on that show because he really taught me how to be on set, how to deal with everyone and how to kind of be the, you know, the fish, the big fish and not be a jerk.

You know, he was just always so,

he knew everybody's names.

He's just so warm and enveloping.

And I really learned a lot from him.

Especially shows like that.

I don't know, probably features you don't maybe have to be that way.

Yeah.

But you are a host.

Yeah.

You're a host to the crew.

You're a host to the guest stars.

And you set the tone.

I mean, for real, you do.

Like if you come on and you've got, you know, and you're in your own head or it's about you, everyone has a shitty time.

So you just want to make sure, you know, you're, you're there to work and be cool and have a great time.

And

then everything goes great.

But I've been on sets where that's not the case and it's a different animal.

It really is.

One of my first guest stars, I won't tell you the show, but I went into the little guest star dressing room and it had a mirror, like, you know, makeup mirror and everything.

And somebody in uh magic marker wrote two more days and i'm out

and i thought

watch my stuff

yeah oh my god

later it was demonstrated in front of me why

wow it was yeah so funny that's cool yeah john let go is he's the best yeah i haven't seen him in a couple years we did a little reunion a couple years ago it was so fun to see him.

But

fame?

Did fame come crashing down on you then?

Was it a lot?

I mean, did it?

You know, it's so, it's, it's so weird to talk about it because you don't have to talk about anything.

No, I just want to talk about it.

No, I just mean like people,

I would talk to you about it because you can understand it, but it's like hard for like other people are like, what's your issue with it?

You know, get over yourself.

But it really did, it was a shocker for me.

Yes.

It was a shocker.

Took definitely about 10 years to get used to it.

I always describe it as like every adult in the room all of a sudden focusing on this little toddler in the middle of the room.

Yeah, yeah.

And the palpable energy

that, you know,

people's focus is energy.

Yeah.

And that energy literally impacts your body and fucks you up because especially if you think this is about me.

Yeah.

And then you're just

so self-conscious.

I felt so weird about all of it.

I mean, I was young too.

I mean, I don't know when cheers hit for you, but how old you were, but I was like 25 or six.

No, I had 10 years on you.

Okay.

Well, it's still, it's a big adjustment.

But, you know, and then, I don't know, about 10 years ago, I realized I'm not really famous anymore.

Like, you know, friends, people who know, like back in the day, but it's kind of great.

It's, yeah, I really prefer it kind of just to wander around the world without feeling that

focus that you talked about.

Your Your silly things, your peripheral vision goes.

Yes.

Because either people are truly staring at you or you're wondering whether they're staring at you.

So you don't dare look to the side.

Yeah.

And you do feel a little shut off.

Yeah, you do.

And then the limos are so expensive and the free gifts and all that shit.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got to be careful complaining about it.

But it, look, it's, I don't know if it's a natural state for a human to be in, you know, to sort of walk around with all that attention focused on you.

So I don't know.

It was kind of a relief when it died down for me.

I have faith that, you know, when it comes again, because it's coming.

Yeah.

It's coming for you.

Yeah.

That you know what to do with it because you have all these things that, no, I mean, because

I'm going to talk about myself.

Yeah.

When it came at me, coincidentally, I discovered that I was an ocean activist and I had started an organization that needed funding and all that.

So I immediately learned, oh, this is power.

All this,

hey, cheers is energy, power.

If you deflect it

and go, hey, thank you so much.

Look over here.

Let me introduce you to the marine biologist behind me.

All of a sudden, I

matters.

Yeah, I was making use of my fame too, not just them.

Yes, totally.

I completely get it.

Yeah.

That's exactly what we to bring it down to the sober thing.

Yeah.

Because I think you're referring to the sober high school.

I tried to get off the ground.

It didn't work, by the way.

By the way, isn't that, wouldn't that be brilliant?

I know.

And it actually really, really, the few that were started, I don't even know if they are in existence anymore.

There's one in Boston.

They really helped kids.

But right now, the funding and I mean, you can't even touch it.

You can't even touch it.

But anyway, I did try to get a sober high school in New York going and I worked on that for a couple of years.

And it was like what you're talking about.

Finally, my energy, all that stuff you're talking about had a focus and it was and it really helped me and back up how did you didn't you start something before that or was it there's another organization forgive me i i don't no worries uh i think the initial goal is slam

sobriety learning and motivation that was you that was me starting it with a couple people in new york yeah and that was pre-trained the high school no that's the high school that is that's the program yeah yeah yeah and then we brought it to staten island uh a high school there We brought the program of kind of counseling and how to, you know, be in high school and stay sober and all that.

And it really did work.

It just was, man, getting through the board of ed and trying to get it going and going to city hall every 20.

I mean, it was, it was like five, six years of just

really raising money, raising attention, focus.

And finally, I just was like, you know, I got to, well, I came to New York to do, to LA to do a show.

So it kind of died off.

But

that need

and that early education is literally where it's at.

I'm part of something called Angels at Risk.

And it started more as like

family, drug, and alcohol rehabilitation, kids who were just starting to, you know, got caught smoking a joint or drinking a beer.

And the judge said, okay, you have one.

You need to go over here and do this program.

And it brought families together

so that the families would not be judging the fuck up kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was like, oh, this is, and there was just this one simple chord to the whole thing that I loved was letters from the heart.

And you'd have all the kids who were sent there by the judge.

Yeah.

And then you had all the parents in another room.

Yeah.

And they would ask, both rooms would answer on paper, you know, three questions at the end of the normal kind of AA sharing, all of that stuff.

Right.

Was,

what did we do well this week?

What did we not do well?

And what do you think we should do?

And then they would switch those notes so they each got to read what the other person thought in this kind of, not sterile, but non-judgmental.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

People in cars going home started to talk.

Uh-huh.

Family, and you know, it was like, oh, you're not, this is a family deal.

Yeah.

This is not just me

the designated, you know, fuck up.

And it made such a huge difference.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Literally.

And support and what you're talking about of like really understanding the dynamics that go into addiction and recovery.

And which has a lot to do with,

I won't say mental health, but emotional health.

Oh, for sure.

I mean, that's literally where it begins.

So the idiocy of not putting money.

The short-sightedness.

And the short-sightedness now, you know, that comes with like if you take theater away from kids and you take music away from kids, you know, what do you think they're going to fill their time with?

I mean, it's Xbox and drugs.

I mean, you know, for a lot of them.

So how do you think it's going to turn out?

You know, just taking away all these extra programs, it's really scary.

And those kids who are in those prop programs, playing an instrument or singing or doing something, their whole, their reading, writing, and arithmetic skills go up as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I know.

I mean, we grew up in sort of the halcyon days, weirdly.

I mean, you know, when there was all this money being devoted from the government, et cetera, to school programs.

I mean, we had, you know, debate teams and after school music lessons and six plays a year.

I mean, we did, and now none of that is around, I don't think.

I mean, it's very short-sighted.

Yeah, it's so short-sighted.

Yeah.

And then you spend huge sums down the way.

To help for health and overdoses and trying to, you know, get fentanyl under control and all that.

It's crazy.

It's, it's, yeah, it's, that's the whole thing.

It's like, don't, you know, the attacking the addiction issue in America, by the time they're in their 30s and they're, you know, a fentanyl or they're on the street, it's too, like, it's not too late for them, but it's too late to, to, to prevent that.

So you're into rehab.

You're not into

early understanding and like trying to give people more purpose to their lives.

So they're not.

I mean, for me, it was boredom was led to my addiction.

So, you know, keeping yourself interested and mentally occupied and stuff.

I mean, it's a simple, simplistic answer, but it is an answer.

It is, well, you're right.

It is not a simple

issue.

Where you start and what you need to focus on is just common sense

nurturing at an early age.

And it's also,

you know,

the draconian kind of grip that they are now trying to do on medication and drugs and, you know, the crackdown where you have people

who are in chronic pain or whatever and actually do need the medication, now can't get it.

So they have to go on the street and get, you know, the heroin or whatever.

So it's,

it's the way they've kind of tried to attack the whole drug and alcohol issue in the United States, I think, is really backwards and obviously not successful.

You know, Ed?

I do.

I mean, I don't know him personally, but I know who he is.

Yeah.

He's, he was on last week and he's written a book called Snafu, you know, situation normal, all fucking right military phrase.

And he does it with a sense of humor, but he takes these things that really happen.

This is history.

And the reason why I talk bringing it up is he talked about this year, he's talking, this season, he's talking about prohibition.

Right.

And

this is history.

The

bad guys, the bootleggers, would

kidnap these whatever, hijack these trucks, these tankers

full of industrial-grade alcohol.

And then they would add stuff, and that's how cocktails became.

You would add tastes to make the

alcohol.

So the government, well, this is, they're not stopping drinking.

We need to find a way to make it not, you know, make this stuff not usable.

So they started to literally put poison.

Oh, really?

I never knew that.

As in kill you poison in into the industrial grade alcohol,

which was used for other things in the poison wouldn't matter.

But if you tried to make alcohol and drink it

and

People were dying by the thousands outside of these bars.

Oh my God.

And they know this because the same time this happened, forensic science was starting to come to the surface.

And so people, scientists were going, wait, what?

Why?

Why is that?

And they discovered and traced it back.

Oh, that is kind of that, you know.

Yeah, let's solve it this way.

Just kill all the junkies.

No, make people emotionally healthy down at this end and they won't have to.

No, exactly.

Exactly.

Okay, we've pontificated enough.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is all about pontificating.

That's true.

It's a podcast.

I forgot.

But yeah, that's insane.

So are you, are you talking to folks individually?

Do you go give speeches?

Do you do, what do you do if you can't start your high school?

I did it for a while.

You know, I did it for, I wrote a book called Guts, which was kind of about my, what happened to me and got getting sober and all that.

And then after that, I did about 10 years of pretty, you know, everyday work on, you know, speaking out, going to doing speeches all over the United States, different

rehabs, and all that stuff.

And then I kind of needed a break.

And that was about five years ago.

And I just was like, you know, I need to take a little step back because I did also didn't want to become like the recovery person.

I just, you know, it's part of me and I don't mind talking about it ever.

I like talking about it, but I just didn't want it to become

everything.

Dot, dot, dot.

No, period to that.

But just let me say, I so respect you.

Oh.

I so, and I so admire, not all sober people are cool.

A lot of them remain assholes.

But

some of my favorite people are sober people because they've, they've looked at the depths, the bowels, and they decided to be honest.

Yeah.

And now they're deeply honest.

I mean, I love talking to Dax Shepard

because his level of truth and honesty is so intoxicating.

Yeah.

Because he went there.

Yeah.

You know, and That to me is like, that's a kind of nobility that I really appreciate.

So I'll leave it there.

Thank you.

You're beautiful and you're noble.

Thank you.

I wish I'd done the show earlier.

I needed the ego boost.

Thank you.

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What do you want to talk about?

If you had a magic wand, what are you going to be doing five, ten years from now?

I am going to, I know exactly what I'm going to do.

I'm going to be on the East Coast running an animal rescue.

Oh, I saw that.

That's my thing.

That's my thing.

I have my oldest friend in the world, my friend Jackie.

She has a little plot of land on the East Coast.

I'm going to buy one near it.

And she rescues animals.

And we're just going to be the crazy old ladies rescuing animals.

For real.

For real.

Wow.

Horses, dogs, cats, whatever.

Wow.

I have four dogs, but that's all I can have here.

The only thing I would add is a little bit of pocket change because of the vet build.

Right, exactly.

No, that's why I'm still here.

I got to tap dance a couple more years and then I can go.

I really am.

Oh, that's so cool.

Yeah.

I'm thinking within five years.

Some rescues right now.

Do you have rescue dogs?

I do.

I have four, four rescue dogs.

They're all a mess.

Yeah.

Hats off to you.

Yeah.

Well, I don't have kids.

They're my kids, basically.

Yeah.

They're the best, though.

And are they success stories?

Because some rescues, it's a big, long.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never had a bad road with a rescue dog.

They're so genuinely grateful.

They're so grateful.

I mean, my dog, they range from, I have a pit bull to a chihuahua.

So like they're all, you know, and then a border collie and a terrier.

So they're,

they are just the greatest.

They're the greatest.

They're my favorite creatures on earth.

I can't wait.

I'm excited to leave because then I get to look forward to coming back home and seeing them again.

Like, I just love them.

Somebody, Mary

quoted somebody or something, and I'm going to butcher this, but it's like.

There are many animals that show, especially now cell phones.

You're learning more about animals than you ever knew.

Right.

Who knew that donkeys, you know,

you know, love and want to hug and, you know, all inner species taking care of, nurturing, all of that stuff.

That's true.

But that dogs are

perhaps the only, I mean, this, sorry, butcher this, but perhaps the only species that offer you unconditional love as a species.

Yeah.

As if they were here to go.

Okay, humankind.

We're here to give you unconditional love.

It's the, they, you know, they're angels on earth, people always say that.

They really are, though.

They are.

We have one.

You do.

Yes.

Can I can I tell you the story?

Although you'll right away, you know, there's guilt

in the air.

But it is a rescue.

Right.

Nevertheless, it was born

of a champion mini Aussie.

Oh, I have an Aussie, a mix, Aussie mix.

Yeah.

They're brilliant and a lot.

A lot.

A lot.

Brilliant.

Yeah.

And he went from one place to another.

Somebody died.

They passed it in.

So in essence, we did rescue, but it was a high-class rescue.

Just a gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous dogs.

Gorgeous dogs.

Holy God.

They're fur.

It's goofy because he was meant to be a mini.

Yeah.

And he kept growing and growing and growing.

Oh, really?

And it's all about the base.

He has a huge butt and he's just.

Oh, I love it.

Mine does too.

You know, have you heard of those sheep herding ranches near here?

Yes.

That you can take your ass for collie.

I'm totally going to do it.

I have to get mine fixed because I've only had them a couple of them.

Oh, have you done it?

No.

Oh, we went to, we thought we were going to one and we went to some cattle.

Uh-huh.

And

it didn't quite work.

No, it wasn't set up well.

Okay.

There's one.

It's just sheep herding.

Yeah.

I mean, I want to try that.

I want to see.

Oh, I think it would be so fun.

I got to wait.

He's about, I do, I've only had him like five months, so I got to wait for him to be fixed before I can.

Genuinely find a way to reach out to us and say, hey, this place is amazing.

Let's double date at the ranch.

Mary had a mix,

I think a Queensland healer when I met her, and maybe an Aussie, something, I'm not sure, and took him to

a sheep farm, not to see what, but was curious.

She happened to be there, I think, or something like that.

And he started to foam at the, she, sorry, Lucy, started to foam at the mouth.

And Mary went, oh, Lord.

And the owner said, I'm of the farm said, no, no, just relax, watch.

And then he stuck his nose in the fur of the sheep and kind of nuzzled like this and wiped his foam all over these different sheep.

It was like, I got you now.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

I got you.

And then did he run around and shake them?

Yeah, I just think that's the coolest because it's just their

instincts.

Okay, sorry, Lucy.

Lucy, but their instincts kick in, and it's supposed to be incredible.

I'll let you know.

I'll report back.

Yeah,

do.

I will.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

All right.

What else?

Acting?

Anything more?

Are you now acting to raise money for your dog?

No.

No.

Well, I mean, I know you loved it.

I mean, that's.

No.

No.

No.

I mean, I'd like to, you know, quit Hollywood at some point and go back to the East Coast.

But the thing about, you know, doing what we do now is you don't even need to be here anymore, really, in LA.

I mean, not to do your podcast, obviously, but like to do that.

No, it's true.

It's very very rare when you have the job that nails you to LA.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it didn't used to be like that, but it is now.

So I'll be just sort of waiting and see what happens with the show and then take it from.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was going to ask you, do you think, because people keep asking me

of the multicam dying, you know, that now it's people are that it feels so old school.

Do you think that there's a way for it to come back?

Jimmy Burroughs used to laugh, Jimmy, who directed all the cheers.

He directed me in a bunch of stuff, too.

I love that.

Everything known to man

for camera, he did.

He said before he cheers or whatever, it was dying.

You know, it dies all the time until something

comes along and hits a chord.

Yeah.

And then it's off and running.

Yeah, yeah.

It is, it is, you know, things did change, I think, with

cable

and streaming, where all of a sudden you're watching at home,

you know, a kind of a movie, a film.

And that comes with an expectation of, oh, you can say dirty words or you can talk about whatever you want.

Yeah.

So that, that kind of did,

what is your language like on this, on the show?

Yeah, well, she's a clean comet.

She's a clean stand-up.

So there's not a lot of that.

But I would say, you know, if someone is going to bring in this cynicism and kind of aggression, it would be my character, you know, so to kind of balance off of her goodness.

But,

but

yeah, so we don't have to do that.

It's different than network being on.

No, it was, it felt very much the same in terms of the actual process of it.

Well, Netflix is real smart, obviously.

Yeah.

And they probably think that that's

where that.

I mean, I do think that there's room for it.

It's just such an because it's really my bread and butter.

I mean, you know, I've done other stuff, but really my stuff is the multi ham and so for like 10 years there was just very little of it you know like the most sitcomish was like the good place but it's single cam so it's not you know um but anyway so hopefully it'll come back i mean

i love them i do too i love doing them if i were smidge younger and had didn't have that Atlantic experience

sorry that traumatized you oh

oh going up on a Howard Corder monologue.

That's brutal.

That's brutal.

I'm so glad to meet someone who was in his play

because he's so good.

Oh, so great.

Well, you saw

Boardwalk Empire.

He wrote all that.

Oh, just incredible.

No, I did.

He wrote all he wrote that every episode of that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

He's a great writer.

My little monologue, more about me, was this guy, middleman guy, sitting in front of the audience and going, something's really bothering me.

I I need to work through my day.

And I came here and I did that.

And

he goes through the day and gets more and more anxious until he gets home.

His wife says, can you go downstairs in the basement and get such and such?

And he goes downstairs into the basement and discovers that in the basement is literal hell.

Oh, literal hell.

Yeah.

And he's horrified.

He goes back upstairs.

And then she says, take the dog.

And he just takes the dog for a walk, you know, just, and by the time he gets back, he's forgotten.

So each day is about

discovering hell.

Yeah.

Discovering hell in his basement.

Yeah.

That's so him.

He's a dark fella.

But so good.

Yeah, so good.

So good.

So good.

Yeah.

I don't know how long we've talked.

I don't either.

It could have been 20 minutes or six hours.

I know, but I really, really enjoyed talking to you.

You're very cool.

I love what you're doing with your life.

Thank you.

You're a wonderful actor.

Thank you.

And you are for camera, like rock and roll.

You really are good.

Oh, thanks.

You know, that combination of, yes, we're in front of a camera, but we're in front of an audience.

Yeah, yeah.

Not everyone can do it.

It's not easy.

Yeah.

It is really cool.

It's a different thing.

But yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

It was good to see you.

Yeah, I will watch that.

Okay, good.

Because I watched her stand up and went, oh, yeah.

She's different.

Yeah, she's different.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love her.

And she has, I mean, people are obsessed with her.

Like, you know, middle American women are like, oh my god, obsessed with her.

So it's fun to like do tapings with her.

They're so excited.

Where is she from?

Knoxville, Tennessee.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's very cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to go see her this summer.

I'm going down to see her family.

It'll be fun.

I will watch it.

And

yeah, look forward to seeing you again.

Okay.

All right.

You too.

Yeah.

That was Kristen Johnston.

You can catch her in the sitcom Leanne premiering on July 31st on Netflix.

That's all for our show this week.

Special thanks to our friends at Team Coco.

If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love.

Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and maybe give us a great rating and review on Apple Podcasts if you're so moved.

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You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes.

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Our executive producers are Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and myself.

Sarah Fedurovich is our supervising producer.

Engineering and Mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez.

Research by Alyssa Grahl, talent booking by Paula Davis and Jeannie Batista.

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