Kate Mara

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What a kiss.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Memorable.

Welcome back to where everybody knows your name.

I won't get into all of Kate Mara's credits, but here's just a few.

Brokeback Mountain.

House of Cards, American Horror Story, The Martian, and so many more.

Our connection is that she co-starred alongside my wife, Mary Steenbergen, in The Open Road.

And during that rehearsal process that took place in our house, I got to know her and she's been a great friend.

Kate has some really exciting stuff on the horizon, including Werna Herzog's film where she'll be starring alongside her sister Rooney.

You'll hear about it in a second.

There she is, Kate Mara.

So yes, Adam, are we recording?

What's going on?

Okay, and you don't mind if I talk about this?

He's our boss.

Okay, well,

Adam does Pilates next to me

in this tiny studio in Los Files.

And there's only, I think, five machines.

And he's always the only man.

And

yeah, we get our

asses kicked next to each other.

So, yeah, that's how we know each other.

While we're at it, because Mary and I are just at Mary, whose sentence much longer.

Oh, Mary.

We'll get into all the family connections in a minute, but

we want to start doing it because I'm of the age where lifting heavy is no longer you know an option but it's really good for you wasn't it designed to to heal like injured dancers yeah yeah yeah it's brutal yeah i i feel like it's safe very safe yeah um i feel like guys are like hesitant to do it because it looks maybe soft or something but then every guy i've ever seen i brought my younger brother connor to a pilates class with me year years ago 10 years ago and he stopped midway midway and was vomiting in the bathroom.

He was like, that was horrible of never going again.

But I think it's amazing.

I think you could do it, Ted.

Yeah.

Get in there.

Yeah.

It sounds like an Aperol Spritz.

The first time I had an Aperol Spritz, I said, oh, is this one of those girl drinks?

And Mary had to carry me to the elevator.

Oh, that's fun.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hi, Kate.

Hi.

There's so many little connections.

I have to, I can't just start talking like I don't know you.

And I haven't seen you forever.

And your daughter was my doula for two of my three children.

I can't.

There's so many crazy

connections.

Two of your three.

Yeah, well, because my oldest I didn't birth because he's my stepson.

Right.

But for my two little ones, yeah, Kate was my doula and she's the best.

She told me that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it runs deep.

Your family, Charlie, you know, I'm obsessed with Charlie.

Charlie McDowell.

I'm obsessed with Charlie.

He's the best.

Who's not obsessed with him?

I'm also obsessed with his wife, Lily.

I love Lily.

But yeah, we met.

The first time you and I met

was for, was it for The Open Road?

I think that, I mean, I heard of you because I think you knew Charlie.

No, I met Charlie on when we were.

We were rehearsing for.

the film The Open Road and we, for whatever reason, took over your OHI house.

Yes.

Jeff stayed nearby, but uh, yeah, we all took over.

Jim Blake, you and Mary were in the film, and we were rehearsing there.

Do you remember everyone was singing every night?

Before,

oh, it was so cool to just like be around that many musicians, and everyone would just randomly pick up their guitars.

And Bill Paxton was living nearby and came that one night where everyone was singing.

And we played running charades with everyone.

Really fun.

What a fun time.

But that's where I met you and Mary for the first time and Charlie and I became like best friends because of that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very cool.

I know.

Then we have to put in your sister who goes by a different last name.

I understand.

It's Mara, not Miara.

Yeah.

We got a, we just, she and I just did a movie that Rooney and I just did a movie together.

And have you completed that?

My research said you were about to.

We just finished.

Oh.

We finished it a month ago.

Are we talking about it now or now?

Yeah, no, we jump around because that's my brain.

So please, you

I thought maybe we would clear up the last name thing while we were working together,

but it never came up.

So who changed the pronunciation from, let's say, your grandparents?

Of course you did.

Because my grandparents are New Yorkers.

Yeah.

So they kind of said it like Mara, you know.

But it sounds much better as Mara.

And it probably really is Mara because it's Irish.

Right.

You know?

Oh, Mara.

So that's how Rooney likes to say it.

But I always say it's Mara.

But yes,

we just made a movie together and we'd never worked together before.

And

it's called.

It's called Bucking Fastard.

Bucking Fastard, which is one of the greatest title of all time.

It's a very good place where you, you know, fork yourself.

You know, so good.

Bucking fastard.

werner herzog wrote it and directed it and um we play

uh sisters who are so close that they speak in unison always

always

yeah

so

it was the most bonding experience of our lives truly I mean, that's like a like a score, a musical score, because you had to rehearse that alone.

You know, what was interesting is we really, we thought it would be, we really didn't know how we were going to do the in unison thing um

and i really i thought we were going to have to just practice the lines over and over again in order to figure out how we were going to say it together and

but

i i think that the thing that got us so i think what we did in preparation that helped us the most was really just um

spend time together.

And we just sort of talked about the characters and the movie and all that.

And then the, then everything else fell into place like way easier.

But we did have little things that we would do.

We would say this, you know, we say like a prayer together in unison in the trailer.

But we were, we were sharing a trailer.

We were eating the same things when we weren't on camera.

We were dressing the same even when we weren't on camera.

We, just to really do it, you know?

Yeah.

How long when you, do you think the from rehearsal to the end of shoot, you were doing this?

Well, we had a, we had a few weeks of rehearsal time, which was amazing.

You don't always have that.

And we would just, at first, we would plan out our outfits.

We would text each other in the morning and say, this is what we'll wear today.

And then we would just start dressing the same accidentally on purpose,

which was so funny to us.

And then, you know, when we weren't saying our dialogue in the film, we would just start responding in unison accidentally.

And just, it was just very, very connecting.

But help me understand.

So if

you're two characters,

if you're talking to each other, how does one do that without doing them?

Occasionally, we do say a word or two that's not in unison, but then we basically always finish each other's sentences.

Right.

We share the same thought, like they dream the same dreams.

It's very interesting, very unique, very Werner Hertzsog.

Okay, you're throwing that around.

Do you know who Werner Hertz?

Okay.

Yes, but it's like, you know, genuck time.

I know.

So what was that like?

Well,

a dream.

I mean, my sister and I have been offered other things to possibly do together over the years.

We've always wanted to work together, but there's always been something that wasn't quite right.

You know, we both have to want to do the project.

There have to be the roles have to be sort of both equally amazing.

We both have to want to be really excited about the director, all of these things.

And we got an, we got a letter from him, from Werner that was so beautiful.

And regardless,

when I heard that he wanted us to be in his film,

my reaction was instantly yes, because I just think he's the one of the greats and nobody is like him,

which is in fact true after working with him.

There will never be anybody like him.

Can you describe a little bit what that feels like as an actor being directed by him

yeah it's um at first i was

well what's interesting about werner is um

you know i i think you he's quite int can be quite intimidating because he's very opinionated and very um

specific about what he likes and what he doesn't like and he is not afraid to say it.

I mean, if you watch any interview with him,

you'll see what I mean.

But he's so collaborative and trusts.

I mean, he trusted us so much with these characters.

And

so it was actually, in the end, quite freeing for me and Rooney.

Cause, you know,

when you're speaking in unison, you can feel quite trapped because you've got, if you're supposed to be similar, you're, you're, you kind of have to do maybe, you'd think, oh, I got to do what the other person is doing or whatever.

But I don't know.

He, he created a

set that was so

special.

And so, I mean, he's so specific.

He doesn't want anybody speaking ever.

He doesn't like sound.

Um,

in between takes, if he hears the smallest sound, he, it really messes with his thought process and the way he works.

He is the, he, he's the one that says action.

He's the, he's the, um, clapper.

He's the clapper.

He's right.

Literally, he doesn't look at a monitor.

He's right there next to the camera at all times.

Wow, but that must be so intensely good for you because what you're hoping to be usually is witnessed and observed by the director.

Yeah.

And you were so intensely getting that.

Yes,

very much so.

Yes,

now at first it was a little bit,

it was jarring.

It was jarring, but he's so,

he cares so much about, he really wants you as an actor to feel free and to

take ownership of your, you know, character and all of that.

So he, he really wants, because he's so honest, he, I think he expects other people to be as honest.

But most people are not, or most people are scared to be.

But by the end, I felt very,

very at ease with him directing us and very, very comfortable.

But yeah, he's just, there's just no one like him i think it's the honesty it can be quite brutal at times um that sucked do it again funny

we were we thought it was funny yeah oh just end it he would say

just like you know uh stop

you know make it stop that kind of thing uh

but so me and rooney found it really really funny and did you receive notes like your twins you know who's the sisters he would call us Yes.

But did you receive notes the same way, you and Rooney, or would you be divergent?

Usually the note was for both of us.

Yes.

Thank God.

Yes.

Rooney, great job.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Really, the notes normally would be sort of like, okay, if one of you is looking in that direction, the other one's looking in the other direction, we have to find a way to

make it make even your looks in unison because it can be distracting if one of you is looking that way.

You're right.

Yeah.

So that it was more logistics like that.

Wow.

Yeah.

Anyway, it was a total dream.

And the other thing about his sets, which are, which is so unique in my experience anyway, is that

the crew was so small.

It was so intimate.

And again, so quiet.

It's like you could hear a pin drop.

He doesn't allow phones on set either.

Very, very strict about that.

Where'd you shoot?

We shot in Ireland, in Dublin.

Soundstage or all over?

No, all over.

We also shot in Slovenia in these caves, which was

also incredible.

God, what an experience.

I know.

It was a very special experience.

But then I went from that to this Apple show that I'm finishing right now.

And to go from this like really intimate experience to a more

sort of like normal experience, it just was so jarring to go, oh, right.

This is normal.

This is what the atmosphere usually is on a set.

You have to be really focused because there's a thousand people doing other jobs.

Anyway, it was quite dreamlike, the whole thing.

Wow.

Yeah.

Did you, were you able to take your kids with you?

Yeah, we had all the kids.

Again, he was, Werner was so, because my sister has a baby.

this was a couple months ago now, but you know, she was, the baby was with us on set all the time or at the trailer.

And so, um,

she was feeding the baby.

No, I didn't know.

Very quiet, baby.

Um, yeah, it's very well, he was very warm about that.

He always wanted us to, well, the other thing is that he raps so quickly because he only gets coverage of what he knows he needs.

He would never, ever shoot something that he even questioned.

It would be like, no, I know I need it or I don't need it.

So there was a day once where we rapped at 2 p.m.

just

because, you know, the crew was just like, how is this real?

We finished a week early.

Have you ever finished a week early on any job ever?

I got COVID.

That was the only time.

Wait, what was I going to ask you?

How many takes?

Yeah.

Not many.

Yeah, it was more.

It was like a four.

I think we just have a two-week rehearsal where you literally rehearsed the scenes or not.

Uh, we did, we went through the script with him, but it was more like we had been planning to make this film with him for a year.

So, we had you know, dinners and teas and we spent time with him so that by the time we filmed, we were quite

what an creative experience.

I know, wow, it really was.

It was.

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tell me quickly about what you just started or finished the apple product yes i'm in the middle of it right now it's called imperfect women

Oh,

wait, is that who's that with?

Is that with more?

No.

Carrie Washington and Elizabeth Moss.

Oh, wonderful.

What did you think it was?

No, there was something you did that I'm just dying with Morgan Freeman.

Oh,

no, I worked with Morgan forever ago, but also we were meant to.

Maybe you're looking at it.

No, friendship.

No, I'm not sure.

Oh, friendship.

I want to see.

I'm dying to see.

Oh, yeah.

I want to know what you think of it.

Friendship was so much fun.

Is it out already?

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no, it's it's great.

All right.

Yeah, that was a really fun movie to do.

Um, I've never done a comedy before, and it's uh, you know, it's who's in it again, tell me Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd.

Yeah.

And you, in the notes, I heard you talking about it, um, that it was shot as if it were a drama.

Yeah, our director, Andy, when he was sort of

pitching it to me, he said,

like, he, I think he said something like, I want to shoot it like it's, like it's the master, you know, like the movie, the master.

And I, I said, oh, okay, so I don't have to worry about like being in a com like, do I do something different in a comedy than you do in a drama?

And he was like, no, I want you to do it like you're doing a drama and I want to prep it like for

me anyway, like it's, like it's a drama.

And the script could hold that point of view.

For my, yeah, I, and for my character.

And yeah, I think for the others as well, I think a lot of of it works because it's I'm dying to see it.

It's wild.

Yeah.

It's wild.

Have you guys seen it over there?

Okay.

Shoot.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it's very funny.

Um,

and so fun.

I'm like, oh, why don't I do why?

I mean, the comedies, well, that one anyway was just like the nicest.

You know, everyone's laughing, trying not to laugh all day.

Like, that's the vibe on set.

I've never had that before.

Mary's impossible.

She ruins more takes.

Does she?

She once on

stepbrothers,

which was just hilarious.

But she came to the director Adam and later after she saw a screening and went, why did you use the take where I was laughing?

Or you can see me start to laugh.

Mary, there's no take.

That's your answer.

Oh, no.

She's a terrible giggler.

It's so fun, though.

That's the best feeling when you're like, I actually don't know how to stop laughing at at this scenario.

Has your choice of film, since you have kids, your kind of film, would you rather be doing something that doesn't take you down these dark tunnels of exploration and do something lighter?

Or are you okay still with whatever it is you're doing?

Yeah.

I know, not really, but I would, it does make me want to do something that they can actually see.

Right.

I mean, I don't think they can see any of the work that I've done, period.

Right.

So it does make me want to do at least like one, you know, God, put me in an animated movie or something.

Something with tonight.

But

no, I still love, I love going.

Because I don't have a hard time switching off.

No, no.

You're a wonderful actor.

This sounds like I'm wrapping up.

I'm not.

I have loved watching you over the years since I saw you in person person last.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're really good.

And you've got to work with these amazing people.

I do.

I've gotten so lucky.

You know, Mary and I have been in two movies together, but never have worked together.

I know.

Because we just did one.

Since we did one in Vegas, right?

It was

Easy's Waltz.

Yeah.

But we didn't have any scenes together.

Yeah.

And then in the other one.

The open road back in the day, we didn't have any scenes together either.

But we got to bunk out together all at our house for a couple of days.

That's a great way to rehearse a film.

Think of her house and just yeah, yeah.

I know.

You don't always have the luxury of doing that, but that was a nice way to begin.

I re-watched your scene with Heath

in Brokeback Mountain.

That was really good.

Bozat-like working with him.

I mean,

in hindsight, it's not just in hindsight that he was a very special actor.

He was, as you were watching everything he did, you're going, oh, this guy's really special.

I know.

Yeah, it was so long ago, but I do remember it pretty well.

I mean, Ang Li, who I just adore so much, he was, he is such

a beautiful person.

He is very specific about

in his direction, very, very specific.

And I was, I was 19.

I started acting when I was 14, but it was, it felt very much like one of my first jobs, even though it wasn't.

And so I, I was just convinced, because I'd never worked with a director like that before, who was so, you know, he would say like, don't blink or don't do this, just very specific details about

your, your movements.

And I just thought he was for going to fire me for sure.

Um.

on day one.

And Heath was so sweet.

You know, he was like, I didn't say that out loud, but internally I was thinking, oh, this is it.

He's definitely going to replace me.

This is how he's directing me.

And Heath just was sort of like,

this is how he is with everybody.

And don't worry about it.

Just, you know, just do your thing.

But yeah, he was very, very sweet.

And I just, I just remember thinking like how easy it was for him or seemingly so to.

snap into character because in between takes he was very you know not that way very casual and um,

and going to look at the monitor and like, you know, just, it just wasn't in this like zone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was very impressed by all of that.

And it really stayed with me how, how sweet and easy he was with the crew and everybody.

Yeah.

Yeah, you really do have to kind of host, I think, the crew.

I mean, you should.

Yeah, because these people are spending way more time there than you are.

It's their life.

And it makes the experience

exactly.

Yeah.

It's horrible.

And it just makes you, more of a family rather than, you know,

I do

your audience.

Absolutely.

Literally.

Yeah.

In the moment.

Yeah, that's so true.

What was your first film then?

Shortly before that, right?

Well, no, I was 14.

I mean, the first thing I ever did was a movie called Joe the King that

Frank Whaley.

Do you know Frank Whaley, the actor?

He also directed.

I bet you would know him if you saw saw him.

He also directed it.

Maybe he even wrote it.

But Val Kilmer was in it.

But it was about, I think it was sort of based on Frank's childhood.

So I had a small part in that.

That was my first ever job.

But then

ever, including.

Like, I think that was before TV.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And how did you get that?

Well, I got an, I got.

Did you went to Tisch by then?

No, I never went to Tish.

I thought you did.

I was supposed to.

I was supposed to, but I was very determined to not go to college.

Right.

Because I was already acting.

I didn't feel like that made sense.

But my parents

thought otherwise.

So I just kept deferring.

I'm sorry.

You said you were 14.

So clearly you weren't a Tish.

I'm sorry.

No, but I, so when I was 14 is when I started acting, but then I graduated high school because I loved it so much and wanted to do it full time.

And I didn't want, you know, to be again, to be like stuck in college.

I thought my parents were going to force me to go to college.

So I, so I said to them, well, okay, I've got a great plan.

I'm going to skip a year.

I'll graduate a year early from high school so that I can go to college and get that over with.

So my acting career can really start.

And they were like, okay, well.

I don't know if that's possible, but sure.

So I managed to somehow, and I was not a great student.

So I don't know how I did it.

I think it it was more convincing rather than grades, but I did graduate high school a year early and then

and then got into TISH and sort of that my, I was supposed to go to CAP 21, the musical theater program.

But

I managed to get a job like right before the school year, the college school year was going to start.

And I, I said, I'll just defer a year, but I knew I would just keep deferring until

they realized that I was going to be okay and like survive as an actor.

Right.

So that's kind kind of what happened.

I never ended up going.

And how did you get the first job?

Well,

I got a manager when I was 14 and an agent

because I was doing,

our neighbor at the time was

she was Carol.

So her name is Sherry Condor.

She's Carol King's daughter and she was making a children's album called The Sugar Beets.

And it's 40, 50s and 60s music, but sung by children.

And so I auditioned, I think I was nine or 10, I auditioned to be on this album.

And

I got, you know, I was one of the kids in the album.

We made, I think, like three or four albums.

And so we would, we would sing these songs and then we would perform occasionally.

And one of the other girls in the, in the, you know, quote unquote band with me was a Broadway kid.

She was on Broadway and Lame as a Rob and all these other things.

And at some point, like down the line, I think I was about 13 at this point,

we asked her, can you give us your, I think, your manager's address, like mailing address?

And we just like mailed in the regular mail, you know, not email or anything like that, just like a cassette tape of me singing some jingles and a headshot.

And my resume, which didn't include really anything, either, I hadn't done anything.

And by,

I don't know, luck, she saw my picture and thought they were casting something at the time.

I think it was,

I think it was Great Expectations, the film.

They were looking for a, and I look nothing like her, but I think for whatever reason, the picture made her think, oh, you could play a young Gwyneth Paltrow.

I cannot play a young Gwyneth Paltrow.

But she thought maybe that would work.

So she brought me in based on this headshot and based on maybe I could get her to audition for this movie.

And that's how I got a manager at the time.

It was just like, you know, a friend and an address.

And that's how it all started, really.

I won't ask you if you still have your same manager.

No, but you know what?

We are still friends.

And in the show that she is also Carrie Washington's manager.

So she's one of the, she's involved in the show that I'm doing right now.

It's so wild.

I just saw her the other day.

That's so great.

It's pretty beautiful.

Yeah.

It's kind of an incredible story.

I was one of those people that when cheers kind of landed, I left my agent of many years.

I'm that guy.

I'm that asshole.

No.

And he died shortly after.

Oh, my.

Oh, I know.

Richard Bauman.

He was a wonderful gentleman.

And anyway, I owe him a lot.

Brutal.

Wow.

How are your folks?

I'm backing all the way up because

you do have an interesting

background, but I was fortunate because of the two two football dynasty families that your grandparents both started, right?

The

great-grandparents.

Great-grandparents.

And so

you grew up really going to the Giants games all the time.

I saw you sing an anthem.

Did you?

This morning.

This morning.

I was watching it.

I was like, were you there?

Okay, that was a long time ago.

Yeah.

Right.

But

we did go when Rooney and Charlie were hanging out to a game.

And your grandmother, I think your grandfather had passed away.

Your grandmother was there and we were in the box and everyone was very sweet to us.

But when I'm a football dilett, I mean, when it comes to a playoff, yeah, I'll watch it.

Yeah.

Otherwise, I'm totally ignorant of football.

Enjoy it.

But, you know, anyway, so we're sitting there and I thought, oh, this would be lovely.

And I think I tried to chat up your grandmother, being the charming Ted, you know, and I don't think that went very well or anywhere.

She wasn't anything, but then they started to play and got a little behind.

And she was ferocious.

Yeah.

She was, you know, giving,

they couldn't hear her, but what for to the player or the coach or the moment or the play or whatever.

She was

so into the game with such passion and ferocity.

I just kind of sat very quietly for the rest of the game.

But she's amazing.

She was.

Yes, she was amazing.

She had a lot of opinions about anything going on during a football game.

She always kind of sat in the same spot in the box.

I never sat anywhere near her because it was too scary.

Right.

But yeah, she was very passionate.

So I wasn't making that up in my little mind.

No, it was scary.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

I didn't want to say scary.

It was terrifying.

I wouldn't sit near her.

I don't think any of us really would.

It was really intense.

I mean, my grandfather, when he was alive, did not sit in the box with us or her.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And my dad still doesn't.

He sits, him and his brother, his two, two of his brothers, sit in a box literally on the other side of the stadium.

Yeah.

But also, they have seven sisters.

So multiply my grandma by seven.

I mean, can you imagine that with, but times seven?

It's a lot of emotions.

Um,

yeah, but also

the experience of us going to games as kids was so specific and so different than it is now.

Well, also, because our families just, you know, exploded.

Everybody has kids and kids and kids.

There's so many of us.

But when I was younger,

there was a box, the owner's box that we would all go in.

It was much smaller.

This is after having gone to church

on Sundays.

Always, we would go to church before the Giants game.

But also we, you know, the game really felt like church as well.

We weren't allowed in that box if you were dressed in jeans.

Like that was not allowed.

You had to be dressed like you were going to church, like it was a business.

And

it was very quiet.

We were all very quiet and very focused on the game.

Now it's very casual and, you know, you can show up in a Giants jersey, but I don't think I even owned a Giants jersey until

both my grandparents passed.

I like, though.

I mean, it's like going to the theater.

When I was growing up, you wore a suit in the city, but you wore a dark suit to go to the theater at night.

I mean, it was that specific.

And it wasn't just wealthy folks.

People showed up in their finery to go to the theater.

And I kind of missed that.

I understand.

Yeah, it's very romantic.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, that's what it is.

I agree.

Yeah, and

it's our family's business.

So it makes total sense that they would want, they wanted us to be, you know, to treat it with respect.

Right.

Were you all treated differently as kids?

Or is it, it was, I mean, the stadium is so huge, it'd be easy for you to only see a little bit of it or be seen by only a little bit of the organization.

Or were you treated very differently being the owners?

We didn't.

The thing that we would do that obviously is very special to that experience or unique to that is when the games would finish, we never left right away.

We would wait probably an hour before we would drive home.

But we were allowed to sort of climb out of the box and just walk through the empty stands and find like

whatever cool knickknacks people would leave behind.

How old you in this description?

Oh, my entire life.

Oh, you would go look around.

Yeah, yeah.

We would, me and my older brother and my younger siblings would just go walk through the stands all through the stadium,

picking up change.

sometimes they'd leave other things that were more exciting

and then we would go a lot of times we would go down to the field and just run around get energy out so obviously those those experiences are very special and unique but that was kind of it otherwise we would just we would literally go from the car to the box my brothers of course would go into uh they both worked for the team they were ball boys so they their whole lives they grew up going into the locker rooms and they were working for the team right but my my sister and I, our experience was quite limited to the box and the stands.

Right.

But I have such good memories of that.

You know, did your grandparents both, they both lived long enough to see you

become an actress?

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

And they were very opinionated about what work I did.

Very.

They sound like my parents a little bit.

Really?

Well, not, yeah, I mean, probably looser, not quite as strict, but this is how my mother watched Body Heat.

The entire film.

The entire film, even the parts where I'm in, which were not particularly sexy.

She had her hand over her face.

I mean, the fact that she watched it at all would be more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My, no, my grandparents would,

I don't know what they would have seen of mine,

but they,

if my, if a character that I was playing did something that they do not approve of, they were mad that I played that character.

Right.

Very mad.

And I'd then hear about it and it would be a whole thing, whole drama.

And the family.

I would have gone to see Lady Macbeth played by you.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

No.

And yeah.

So it was a little, it was much more stressful for my father than it was for me because I, you know, I, I was kind of

okay with getting a dirty look at a football game, you know, here and there.

But, um, but yeah, my poor father had to hear about it all the time.

Um,

and again, I really didn't make that many things that they would have been excited about.

There was always something, something like risque.

I'm always slightly surprised when civilians, if you, if, if you will, you know, people who are not in show business, something,

like my parents would sometimes offer like

Like it would it would be it would hit hard.

It'd be like, yeah, I don't think that was very good.

Yeah.

You know, and they're think, they're talking to me like, oh, yeah, you know, something, you're right.

I think I can improve.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

I appreciate that.

As opposed to the, ow.

I know.

It's horrible.

My father's one comment after one play was, your kiss was too loud.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

It was too wet for him.

Yeah.

Thank you, Kevin.

It was like a wet kiss.

So did you then start kissing the person differently after that note?

I think it was a one-two evening play.

Thank God.

That was it.

I did not invite him again.

Yeah,

I do remember there were a few times, maybe two times where,

you know, when the when the Giants would play

somewhere else on the team plane, there would always be a movie playing.

I think now it's probably different because there's there's anyone, you can choose whatever you want to watch.

But at the time, it was only one movie playing on the whole plane.

So everyone was watching whatever that was.

And a couple of times it was a movie that I was in.

And

that's hard.

Nowhere to run.

Brutal.

I mean, luckily, I wasn't on the plane, but my poor father and brothers.

And yeah, yeah, I definitely got a lot of crap for those

moments.

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When did you first notice walking on the street?

People would go, oh, hey.

You know, I don't get it.

I don't get that a lot.

People don't recognize me a lot, or when they think they do, they think I'm somebody else, which is funny.

I think it's easier for women

because you will have a totally different hair color for a part.

You're so tall as well.

Yeah.

You can't, I'm so little.

And I have a recognizable bald spot

where people have literally, I know this for a fact.

People have walked by and you can hear, because everyone thinks celebrities are death.

You know, that's so true.

That, you know, I think that's him.

And then I walk past them.

So I know they're looking at the back of me and go, yep, that's him.

Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

Thanks.

That's funny.

That's a famous celebrity.

Come on.

It must have.

You must have to live with it in some fashion.

Really, not often.

Really?

No, not often at all.

Again,

I do credit my height for it.

I think I just sort of like, yeah, also I have a bunch of kids.

It's like no one's really.

Although I swear I get stopped more for my children because they have two of my kids have this really bright orange hair.

And so more people are stopping me to go, oh my gosh, your kids' hair is so, and then they'll kind of go, oh, you kind of, did I go?

They always think I went to high school with them.

Yeah.

That's usually what ends up happening.

But no, I really don't get recognized for that's kind of cool.

Yes.

Great.

It's great.

It makes me feel like...

a chameleon.

You know, I'm like, oh, maybe it's because I can change.

Well, you are, a smidge.

You know, you really are.

You really are a wonderful character actor.

And that doesn't mean you're not a leading lady.

It means you're not.

I'd rather be a character actor.

Me too.

me too i feel like i'm a tall character actor and that's the closest i'll get to

you know and that's that's where the goodies are oh and that's what allows you to work now for the rest of your life yeah into whatever age you want to work because you're a character actor i think yeah i think i mean that's yeah that's the the hope i i still feel so um

Like I love it.

So I love my job so much that it

still feels like

not a job.

I mean, with kids, it does change your perspective because it takes you away from your kids a lot.

But

still, like on the show I'm working on now, just like, I feel so silly and lucky that I get to go and play because that's what we do.

We just get to play all day.

and try and convince people that we're these other people and that we're living in these other houses.

And I just love it so much that I

hope that I get to do it.

I hope that I feel that way forever because I'd love to do it forever.

But only if I feel this

euphoric about it, you know.

You will, I bet.

But you're right.

That would be the key.

I love writers.

I love crews.

I love all of it.

And I'm married to somebody who feels the exact same way.

Mary Steinberg, as you know, I didn't have to say her last night for you.

Yeah.

Humble brag.

Yeah, humble brag.

Yeah, I'm married to an actor as well, Jamie Bell, Humble Brag.

Yeah, who's a wonderful actor?

He's so good.

He's so good.

Yeah, I can't imagine not having a partner who's not in the industry just because it's so, it's such a weird job to have in so many ways.

But yeah, he and I are so, I mean, we're so different, though, in the way we think about it all.

How?

He's just so in his head about everything.

And I'm absolutely not.

Would that, would that be true if he weren't an actor?

He'd still be in his head.

Absolutely.

Yes, me too.

Mary and I are so different about certain things.

So you're in your head.

Is she not?

Well, I'm mostly into worrying about my body, but that's just because I'm a

she calls me a hypochondriac.

I like to think I'm fascinated by my body.

I like that.

A little ache, a little pain here.

I want to know what it is and why.

Oh, God, that must be tiring for her.

Hey, shut up.

Shut up.

I'm going to call her after this.

Yes, it is tiring.

Oh, interesting.

It's easy for her to mock which is part of a great joy

exactly

yes we do that too i make well i make fun of him yeah he doesn't make fun of me um

the safest though yeah he's very smart it's the smartest thing he does um yeah but it's so fun and i also it's i'm just fascinated by well you can i'm sure you can relate to this because um

because all of the all of the parents in your sort of like pod are all actors so for me and my husband and my sister and her partner and even my stepson's mother, everybody is act, we're all actors.

I did not grow up like that.

I was the first actor of my family.

So to me, it was such a new thing.

And it was, I had nobody to talk to about it or anything.

Until my sister became an actress, I didn't have anybody to talk to about it.

And now for my children, who knows if they'll even be interested in it, but it's so funny to me because they, everywhere they turn in my family, there are actors.

they're all of their aunts and uncles it's just they're surrounded by it so i'm so curious to see what yeah you know who will go follow that route and who won't and um charlie laughs about having grown up because his daddy is malcolm mcdowell i'm his stepfather and mary right his mother he's grown up he said looking at my parents in another room mumbling to themselves and making gestures into the mirror yes into the well no none of us would do something something like that.

I do spend a lot of mirror time, but that's for

other reasons.

If you look in the mirror long enough, like I'm talking three, four hours a day, you can retard aging.

Oh, is that what that is?

Yeah, because look in the mirror.

You never see yourself get a wrinkle on the spot.

So that's what I'm thinking.

Oh, I love that.

Okay.

Hot tip.

Yeah.

So tell me, how do you juggle?

who's working when you and Jamie?

Is that we don't know how to juggle?

I don't know how to juggle.

Actually, I was in the juggling club when I was in high school, but I never learned how to juggle.

That's a real story.

Um, I had a crush on my teacher who was the um

he was in charge of the juggling club.

I thought, oh, well, and I'll go learn how to juggle and that'll make me feel good about myself.

And I never learned, but um, so that's still a mystery to me how you juggle actually anything, anything.

But then also our

work lives it's so far we've just sort of gotten lucky for the most part and we've been together for 10 years and um hey congratulations yeah

thanks very cool yeah it's a long time uh but also not but it but um but in the 10 years we've been together and both acting here and there we've only really had a couple incidents where we were both overlapping with work and it was tricky.

And we haven't figured it out yet.

I mean, Mary and I are just lucky, too.

You are.

You don't have, because I don't, for us anyway, we, there haven't, there hasn't been a, this is the rule that we can follow that works.

Cause I, we're just not in that place of, um,

we just don't know what we're going to get when.

And, um, and you trust each other creatively.

You're not going to take something dumb and leave the

trust.

Yeah.

Jinx.

Damn.

No, not Jinx.

You, me, and Rooney.

Maybe next time you'll include me in your Werner movie because I can do this shit.

Wow, that was good.

Thank you.

Um,

yeah, no, it's it's it's a constant puzzle, you know, that you're trying to work out.

But I'm much less stressed about it now.

Like, I, at the beginning of our relationship, yeah, um, I would worry about it more.

Um, but now were you a shipboard romance?

Did you meet on a film?

We, uh, no, we met.

Well, I guess we did.

We met um really long time ago on a screen test for a film that neither of us got.

Um, which by the way, I have the

screen test.

Nice.

Yes.

And we had to kiss in it.

And I have the picture blown up because we didn't, we didn't end up dating for, I don't know, maybe like 15 years or something.

Oh, you're kidding.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

What a kiss.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Memorable.

And then we did end up make, we made a movie together.

We knew each other.

We were friends, but not, we didn't really know each other.

And then we made the Fantastic Four movie together, which was a

really

interesting experience.

How so?

Rough.

Not a great experience.

It was a mess.

Yeah, just a messy, messy experience.

But we got to know each other on it.

And I thought, oh, he's so great.

Like,

I just kept, I just thought he was the best.

And he was single.

And I was trying to set him up with all these people because i thought how i gotta set him up with someone he's the biggest catch how does he not how is he not um with someone amazing i just didn't know that i was the person i was looking for it took me a year to figure that out a year later we um did he know it was you I don't think so.

No.

I think, I think we were, because we were friends for so long

that we were both just in our minds, like, this is the relationship.

And,

but then, yeah we fell in love on the press tour of that movie because it was sort of like you know trauma bonding and how do you how do you know you fell in love who made the first what who said what uh

wait who blinked jamie jamie did

he did yeah

and that was it we're like oh i guess we're getting married

Oh, really?

Like, like instantly, because we knew each other forever.

We just thought, oh, right, this is going to be forever.

Oh, how wonderful.

And here we are, a bunch of kids later.

And

it's the best.

Yeah, it is the best.

Yeah, it is.

It's a lot.

Like, I just, I feel,

like I said, it's been 10 years, which for a lot of people is not a long time.

You know, if you, my parents have been married forever.

Yeah.

So that's, that is a long time.

But I guess in this world, 10 years is sounds like a long time.

And I just, yeah, I feel, I don't feel like we've been together that long, but I also feel like we've never not been together.

It's, you know, and it's divine.

Yeah.

Or it should be treated as such.

Yeah.

I agree.

Cool.

It is cool.

I'm very happy for you, Kate Mara.

See how I went in between?

I panicked.

I thought you said that.

Yeah.

That was kind of an in-between.

Maybe that's how we should say it.

Mara.

Is he working now?

He just finished.

He just finished a show.

Yeah.

So right now.

Shooting, you shooting here right now.

That's nice.

Shooting in town.

What a luxury.

I know.

I've spent my entire career shooting in town.

You're like the only person I know.

Well, TV,

it's hard to do in film, but in TV, it's like, or in a half hour, especially.

It's a nice schedule, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty great.

I have not experienced it much at all.

in my career.

So it's really, yeah, it feels like a luxury.

Do you ever think you could live anywhere, not just in LA?

We're moving to New York.

Are you?

As in city?

No, upstate.

Upstate, up near the Hudson, someplace or something like that.

Something like that.

Near your family?

Yeah, I mean, we want to,

I've been here 22 years, I think, now.

And

all of a sudden, we realized

we should be near my family and

the kids should have their grandparents and all their cousins around.

So we're doing it.

Yeah.

I'm really excited.

Really?

You can work anywhere.

Yeah.

It won't affect our relationship, seeing how you've been in town and I haven't seen you for 20 years.

I haven't seen you in 20 years.

Yeah.

We'll probably see each other more now that I'm going to move.

Yeah, I'm excited about it.

And we get to go to all the games now, all the Giants games.

That'll be exciting.

I remember when Charlie was hanging out with Rooney.

I don't know how to say it.

I think you can say that.

Yeah, hanging out with Rooney.

And I wouldn't be following football or something like that.

But then it was the Super Bowl.

And we turned it on.

And all of a sudden, I go, is that Charlie on the 50-yard line?

Standing on the 50-yard line?

After we won?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, wait a minute, at the Academy Awards, we're watching it.

Is that Charlie sitting next to Brad Pitt?

He's like our, he's like our Zealig, you know.

Did he actually sit next to to Brad Pitt?

Or somewhere next to him.

He was with Rooney, but somewhere.

Lucky spot.

Yeah, lucky spot.

That's funny.

Have you seen any of his films?

You know, he's quite strong.

Carly McDowell?

Yes, absolutely.

He's so talented.

He is talented.

Yeah.

And his latest.

I wish he would hire me at something.

Well, how about his mother and me first?

That'll never happen, by the way.

Oh, my gosh.

Why not?

Well, because, yeah, no.

It's more fun working with people who aren't your parents.

Totally.

Although, I don't know.

Working with my sibling was the best co-star of my life.

I can't wait to see it.

Truly.

Yeah.

It does sound.

Have you seen it?

I've seen like 20 minutes of it.

And

I mean, it's hard for us to judge because, but we were in hysterics watching it.

It's a very funny.

There's a lot of, it's very funny.

Well, that's huge if you go to the business.

Who knows?

We might just be laughing at each other because we're like, what are we doing?

Well, if you're laughing at her, you're laughing at yourself.

It was like, I was like, who do I look at?

Her or me?

Who cares?

Who are you looking at?

How are you about looking at your work?

Can you do that?

Are you?

Yeah, I think

when I

when I produce, I started producing.

I don't produce that much.

Yes, but let us talk later about your

pig farm.

Documentary.

Oh, I was like, did you own a pig farm?

Did you produce?

I did, yeah.

Okay, but we'll talk about that later.

I produced the series that I was in called A Teacher, and it was

one of my first experiences in producing.

And so I was watching dailies

constantly, and it really just made me, it just made it so much easier for me to look at it in a totally different way.

The one time I produced something and really produced it, meaning it didn't get done if I didn't say something producing,

I mean, I have had my name appear every once in a while.

I don't like having my name as a producer executive producer if i haven't done something yet because then it's like

but it does make a difference because you have a vote and an interest and you should be part of the decision making if you're not then i don't i don't yeah what's the point i i agree but also it if you are really doing the job and trying to make the show work or whatever you have to look at yourself as not yourself like it takes the vanity out of it For me, it did anyway.

Run that by me again.

I'm not sure.

I can understand the take the vanity part.

You'd think with age, it would get less.

No.

Isn't that sweet?

Yeah.

Isn't that sweet?

So brutal.

Here's my process.

First time I watch it, I'm in tears.

Because you hate what you did so much?

Hate.

I didn't even get to what I did.

I hated my chin, my this, mine.

I'm not.

And fuck, I'm 77.

I was pretending to be 77.

I really am.

Look at that.

I'm 77.

And then I watch it again.

I go, well, I'm not that bad.

You know, stifle my tears.

Second time, third time, I noticed there are other actors in the scene,

which is, you know, makes it way better.

You have to watch it so many times.

Yeah, no, four, because the fourth time I can see it totally for what it is.

And I love it usually.

Usually.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Wow.

Why did you emphasize when I said usually about my work, you repeated usually?

It sounded like you were voting like.

What?

Like I was voting.

You liked your work.

I mean, usually.

Because I've seen some of it.

No, no, no.

I don't know why I said usually.

I think

I was going, do I feel that way about my own?

Do I have to, like, do I usually like my work?

Because I do watch everything.

Even if I know it's going to be bad, I kind of, I kind of want to watch the stuff that's bad even more.

I do too.

I'm full of shit.

I do, too, want to watch everything I've done.

But it's also the thing that saves me is it's also none of my business.

Yeah, totally.

Because when I'm acting, I'm whoever.

I'm Brando.

I'm Olivia.

I'm whoever.

I'm joyful.

I am judgmentalist.

I'm having the single best time in my life.

Yeah.

When I watch it, I'm a judgmental dick.

And so I try not to, but it's also none of your business.

You did your, unless you're the producer or, you know, or a writer or something.

If your job goes on, then yes, of course.

Yeah.

Otherwise, it's not my thing anymore.

Yeah.

Jamie won't watch anything he does, which I feel sad for him for that.

Cause I because he's so good.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, you're missing out on so many great.

Why do you think he does it?

Because he's a tortured actor.

I wish I were tortured.

I'm so simple.

I don't think so.

Yeah, no,

he's just, you know, one of those like brilliant actors who can't watch anything.

Maybe it'll change one day, I'm hoping, for his sake, just because,

yeah, I'm like, oh, you're really missing out on your, on the, the experience of watching the, this piece of art that you're in that really is moving.

And, um, but yeah, it's just fun.

Again, we're just so different.

Yeah.

which is great.

Yeah.

Mary and I are very similar in many ways and then very different in others.

That whole body hypochondria thing is a mystery to me.

I mean, seriously, if you ask her which bone is this,

she has no idea.

Yeah.

Oh, you do.

Yes, of course.

I can name your molars.

No.

Yeah, I do.

Wow.

Okay.

Tell me what.

Tell me about this just for a second, because

I guess I'm slightly, not slightly, I'm very interested right now in how people are doing with, and we don't have to get political

or partisan.

We certainly don't have to do that.

But we are living in this world that is full of a lot of pain, suffering, and fear, and

surprise, and all that stuff to me.

I was going to ask you how you're doing with all of that.

But then I also noticed that you had produced this documentary

about pig farms.

Factory farming.

Factory farming.

Yeah.

When was that?

A long time ago?

No, not a long time ago.

Now, I don't know if it was,

I don't know what the year was now.

Was it like two years ago?

We can look that up very easily.

Time is confusing to me, but recently.

Oh, yeah, yes, recently.

And can I ask why you picked that or and what?

Yeah.

Well, a friend of mine,

one of my best friends, Michelle Cho, she is

an incredible animal activist and

also just activist in general.

She

is the reason that I've become involved in a lot of different,

really all of the organizations that I've been involved with is because of my friend Michelle, who's taught me so much about

what's going on in our world and what we can do to help the environment and then, as well as animals and humans and all of it.

so when i met her um i don't know how many years ago 11 years ago or so i became really involved in in different um

just different things that spoke to me at the time uh it was blackfish so the the documentary blackfish had come out i don't know if you saw that it was about sea world yeah yeah um

that really moved me and i wanted to be a part of helping get that story out there so that people like me who had been to sea world you know i had been to sea world as a child and thought it was amazing.

And I think I did all the things.

I swam with dolphins and, you know, wherever that was, thinking that was okay as well.

And

then once I learned about all of the things that are true and the reality of the situation there,

I just wanted to get to spread that word, to spread the word and

just make people aware of

what our actions are actually doing and how it affects

so many other things.

So that's when it sort of started.

I met the director of the smell of money

through my friend Michelle, and he just sort of sent it to me just as a friend.

He said, I'm making this documentary.

I'm curious what your thoughts are, your notes.

You know, I'm just trying to whatever, edit it.

And I was just so blown away by it and the fact that human beings.

It's stunning what happened I mean the fact that human beings are actually having to live next to these factory farms in their homes that they've owned forever and there's nothing they can do about it and they're getting sick and dying and again there's nothing that they can do about

I just was so horrified by it and so

I told him I'd love to help in whatever way that I could, whatever that means.

And so

that's why I chose to be a part of it.

I just, it was kind of like, it was impossible to ignore after I saw it.

And I could not stop thinking about it.

And

I think that was pre-COVID when I saw it for the first time.

So it was a while, it feels like a while ago, but then eventually the film did, we did, it did come out.

And

a lot of people have seen it.

And it has, I think, affected a lot of people.

And again, I still, I just think

using your voice for

anything that you can that is meaningful to you, that especially, I think,

things like this where people just are unaware of where their food comes from.

I'm vegan, but I'm not saying everybody has to be vegan, nor do I judge people for eating meat.

And, you know, everyone has different beliefs and different lifestyles.

And I mean, my husband was not vegan for quite some time.

Right now, he's

he mostly is.

But again, like, I don't judge that.

I just think it's really important for all of us to know where we're putting our money

and how it's affecting our neighbors and our animals and our environment.

Because no matter how I grew up in Arizona and, you know, the history of Arizona is if somebody was poisoning your source of water upstream from you, they would come after you.

They would try to kill you to stop doing that.

The old West kind of way.

And you are.

We now poison people downstream without even thinking about it and poison the air, you know, upwind or downwind from people and don't even think about it.

And that's what you're

besides the inhumanity of how you treat the animals.

I mean, they're packed in so, so, they're not even packed in tightly.

You can't see any space in between these animals.

No, and again, like for me, the animal aspect of it is

enough.

Like when I I was learning about all of these, these

when I was learning about these facts, that to me was enough to go like, well, why would I ever eat that again or support that system again?

But not everybody feels that way or maybe connects that quickly.

But there is a list of things that maybe you would connect.

Support, you know, that money should not trump people's

lives, literally.

That they should be ill because they can't afford to move away from something that was put in front of you.

Yeah.

Good for you.

I think as actors, we do have a role to play.

Even if you're not an expert, you don't have to claim to be the expert.

You can claim that this is something I'm learning about and I care about.

Take a look at it and make up your own mind.

Well, we're, I mean, I hate, I hate it when people say like we're storytellers because it sounds like, I don't know, it sounds cheesy or something, but sharing stories is part of our jobs.

It's part of our livelihood.

And that is what, what this, what that is, being involved in a film like a documentary like that, to me, it is.

It's just, can we share this?

This is what's happening to human beings a couple hours away.

Can we share it so that

they're not alone and that maybe we can find a way to end it?

And you're not telling people how to believe.

You're telling people you should take a look at this.

I think you'll care about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't thank you enough for coming.

Oh my gosh.

It's so my pleasure.

She was like, oh, great.

We got to catch up a little bit.

I know.

Not that we, you know, I know.

Hung out.

But because of that experience of you rehearsing that show to, you know, at our house, I followed you and it's like, ah,

you scream every time.

I do.

Yeah.

Kate, put your clothes back on.

No, I can't watch.

I can't watch.

Yeah.

You guys are family forever.

That'll be that for me.

Really appreciate it.

You didn't even drink your watermelon juice.

I know.

It's too fascinating.

That was so much fun catching up with Kate.

Felt like a little bit like a family reunion.

That's our show for this week.

Special thanks to all our friends at Team Coco.

If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love.

Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and give us a nice review on Apple Podcasts if you're in the mood.

If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on YouTube.

Visit youtube.com slash teamcoco.

See you next time.

Where everybody knows your name.

You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes.

The show is produced by me, Nick Liao.

Our executive producers are Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and myself.

Sarah Fedurovich is our supervising producer.

Engineering and Mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez.

Research by Alyssa Grahl.

Talent booking by Paula Davis and Jane Batista.

Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Yen, Mary Steenbergen, and John Osborne.

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