Best of Episode: Reb Masel thinks Sh*t is Wack

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Speaker 9 Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.

Speaker 9 It's your fae villain, Kale Lower.

Speaker 9 And you're listening to Barely Famous.

Speaker 9 All right, you guys, I'm super excited and also nervous for this episode because I love Reb so much.

Speaker 9 If you have not heard of Reb Mazel on social media, she has gone viral on TikTok. She is a civil attorney and she is a practicing attorney, contrary to popular social media opinions.

Speaker 9 And she actually had no aspirations to get into law school until practically last minute. So I'm super excited to find out how this whole process went,

Speaker 9 how it's going. And I want to bring up an iconic transcript that may ring a bell in your minds from my court cakes with Brianna to Jesus.

Speaker 9 So I'm just ready for this episode. Very nervous.
Welcome, Red Masil.

Speaker 9 Hello.

Speaker 9 Hi.

Speaker 9 I was so freaking out about you coming on this podcast. I was so excited.
Like in a good way? Oh my gosh. Yes.
I am so honored and jazzed. You have no idea.
I grew up with you, fam. Like I did.

Speaker 9 You did? That's why you were

Speaker 9 important people. Watch like Team Mom.

Speaker 9 I was not important at 15. You're two years older than me.
No, wait, yes. I, you were born in 92.
I was born in 94. Okay.
So, like, prime time, prime time, okay. Middle school.
Are you kidding?

Speaker 9 What do you think we did at sleepovers? Like, I was like, you did not watch

Speaker 9 sleepovers. Oh, I did.
Oh, I did. There was not a lot of parental supervision going on.
Like, come on. Clearly, that's how I ended up pregnant in the first place.
Yeah, right. Like, I mean,

Speaker 9 it's right. Right.
But truly, it's like, it's just bizarre because

Speaker 9 I mean, I'm sure this has happened to you a bajillion times just because of what you do.

Speaker 9 Like, if I would go back in time and tell my 13-year-old self, hey, like, you're going to be on a podcast with like

Speaker 9 Kaylin from T Mom,

Speaker 9 she'd be like,

Speaker 9 because you're both in prison? Like, why? Like, what did you do? Like, why would you be famous for that? Like, I did go to prison once. Well, no, I went to jail.
Or she'd be like, are we pregnant?

Speaker 9 Wait, that's so funny because I was reading,

Speaker 9 I think it was an article about you on Yahoo and you were talking about, I'm pretty sure it was Yahoo,

Speaker 9 like sleuthing on the internet to find out if your like friends, boyfriends were like cheating on them or something. And I'm like,

Speaker 9 you probably would have found out like who's pregnant, who's, you know, who's not pregnant, who almost got pregnant, all the things. You find out everything on social media.
Every, everything,

Speaker 9 truly. And that's coming from.

Speaker 9 Oh, I don't know, someone who has a very lengthy digital footprint. You know what I mean? Like coming like preaching, like people are are like, well, you post all the time.

Speaker 9 I'm like, yeah, but like, I stand by it. Like, I'm like, yeah, no, blow it up on the big screen.
Like, I'll say it on the billboard.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but I'm like, I'm like, there's no, but also, the thing, it's not even so much as, like,

Speaker 9 people lie about weird shit. Like, people lie about shit that only makes sense as important in context, right?

Speaker 9 Like, they're just trying to like completely separate themselves from like a specific person. Yeah.
Never met them.

Speaker 9 Never talked to them before in my life.

Speaker 9 No, I think I did.

Speaker 9 Maybe I do. I own a lawn business.
Maybe I did yard work for them once. I'm like, really?

Speaker 9 Why did you say happy Christmas to her on her Facebook post from two months ago and said the living room looked great at dinner?

Speaker 9 Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I'm like, why do you think that we're that dumb? Like, you like, at least delete your stuff. Like, at least make it, just deactivate it for the time being.

Speaker 9 I honestly, I did my first court deposition. Well, you read it in your

Speaker 9 transcripts for one of my things.

Speaker 9 I didn't get a copy. Obviously, I didn't

Speaker 9 copy the full one. People submit to me all the time.
I see them. Because that was one of my questions to you was, how the fuck did you get that? Because I don't even have it.
No, no. So I,

Speaker 9 like, as you can tell, all of the transcripts that I use,

Speaker 9 I like have to literally physically type them out again. Like,

Speaker 9 at least now, like with the text function on, on like my phone, I can like copy and paste the text from a photo and like paste it, put it in the format, do the colors, do the little caption.

Speaker 9 Like it takes me so long. I got that from someone screenshotting an article about the deposition.
So like, right, my, you think my, you don't, you think I care about my sources?

Speaker 9 I'm like, no, I'm like taking liberties. You know what I mean? I'm like, look, like, as long as the amount of things that are said, right?

Speaker 9 Whatever. And they were like, this is so funny.
And I had like several people be like, oh my gosh, like, love, like, that's so funny. Like, WAP.
And I'm like, well, I have to put it in there.

Speaker 9 And I'm like, I have to put it in there. Thinking, thinking no one was even.

Speaker 9 my attorney who represented me on that case like i keep her on retainer at all times because i love her so much

Speaker 9 i think she just like was she didn't know what the to say or do when brianna said that like she was just like

Speaker 9 what like

Speaker 9 and and that's the worst part is like even if the attorney knows what wap means

Speaker 9 the record doesn't like we don't know what that means like you have like you have to type it out You quite literally have to, like, and the witnesses will sometimes be like annoyed, like, because you'll be like, Okay, and where do you live?

Speaker 9 On that street.

Speaker 9 So, like, the same street as him. Yeah, like I said, no, queen.
Like, we need to be right. Like,

Speaker 9 right. And so, it's like, no one's in 20, we need to be able to create a record that in 50 years, someone can

Speaker 9 understand.

Speaker 9 And maybe in 50 years, someone will be like, Oh my god, mom, what?

Speaker 9 I can't. My kids never find that.
I will fucking roll over in grave. I'm crying because,

Speaker 9 sorry, I'm just like, anytime I get a fucking email. I'm crying because I obviously write, got it from like an article, right?

Speaker 9 Some like bullshit article that was like reporting on what was said in their division. And I'm like, that's really funny.

Speaker 9 A bunch of people had sent it to me, whatever, put it in the format, all this stuff. And then I thought, like, when you invited me on the podcast, I was like,

Speaker 9 where did I get that? And I'm Googling every single news article now is like using a screenshot from my video, being being like, Look at the transcript.

Speaker 9 I'm like, that's not, I'm like, that's my Google document. That is my Google Doc.

Speaker 9 I have a Google Doc and I put on there, like, where did you find this? Because, like, I feel like, I almost feel like I should probably print that page out and frame it in my office. I would do it.

Speaker 9 I'll do it for you. Are you kidding? I want to put it in my, I mean, probably not my office, like, probably not my office.
Probably not yours.

Speaker 9 So, when they found out that you did it, did you have to have like a sit-down meeting?

Speaker 9 So, since I started TikTok, um, like it was right when a few videos go viral, are you, is your first action going to be to knock your boss's door down and be like, Is does LA call me or do I call LA?

Speaker 9 Like, you're kidding? Like, why would I tell them that? Like, that's so weird. Right.

Speaker 9 And I was, right, and the first few videos that went viral for me that I was like, oh, 15 minutes of fame were not law-related.

Speaker 9 They were not, it was actually before I took, while I was studying for the bar, I was like 90 pounds and ill. My hair was falling out by the clumps.
I was so stressed out.

Speaker 9 And so I was making funny videos, like, about like my mom finding my tattoo, like funny videos about like being stressed, like whatever,

Speaker 9 studying. And I thought, oh, this was fun, like 40k likes, like 15 minutes, same.

Speaker 9 Um, and then when I started posting when I became an attorney and clapping back to people in my comments who were like, I'd never hire her.

Speaker 9 And I'd be like, You can't afford a chicken McNugget through the drive-thru, babes. Like, you can't, you can't afford a little hour.
Like, please.

Speaker 9 Um, then, you know, it started, you know, it just kind of happens organically.

Speaker 9 And it got to a point where I was like, well, I don't know at what point I say, hey, like, there's this fake persona that I created, fake name that I created.

Speaker 9 And it's not like that. You live a double life.
Yeah. I live a double life, except it's literally me and my personality exactly the same.

Speaker 9 And you, y'all aren't mentioned, right? Y'all aren't mentioned. Nothing's problem.
I just didn't even want to create an issue.

Speaker 9 So I didn't say anything. Like I was like, wow, I want to say something.

Speaker 9 My partner, like one of the partners called me into his office for a case. He's like, Yeah, let's talk about this case.
I was like, Oh, yeah, like ready to talk about this specific case. Yeah.

Speaker 9 I'm like, you liar. I go in, I sit down, and he's like, Hey, so uh,

Speaker 9 TikTok. And I was like,

Speaker 9 What about it? Like, about to like ready to brawl, right?

Speaker 9 Because I had already decided that I was gonna fight for it in terms of like why it was important to me and why it had become bigger than me, and why it was so

Speaker 9 just

Speaker 9 inspiring to me to see so many young women, young people, old people, old women, old men, like young men, everyone saying

Speaker 9 how

Speaker 9 refreshing it was to see someone with a personality who could laugh 100%, had long hair, right, and not a fuck-ass bob, like practicing law, you know, and as someone who practices law, like I am a copy and paste, look around, like we are everywhere.

Speaker 9 I am not different, but outside of fucking legally blonde, right? And like how to get away with murder and scandal. Have you seen

Speaker 9 how to get away with murder? Yeah. Oh my god.
Okay, so good. So good.

Speaker 9 You know, you don't have that. Like, people just assume, like, oh, no, you have to change your entire life.

Speaker 9 And you, and, and, you know, I just told my boss, I was like, ready, right, to like be like, have this whole speech prepared of like, why? Like, I'm not going to delete it.

Speaker 9 And he goes, and he's awesome. I adore him.
He was like, I just think it's so great. He was like, that's so cool.
My daughter showed me.

Speaker 9 600,000, 600,000 followers. I just can't even believe it.
And I'm like, this, what's up? Like, he was like, yeah.

Speaker 9 And it was, and it was a super, the first firm I worked at was an extremely conservative firm, not in the sense of like politically, but in the sense of like, suit and like, like a lot of firms today, like suit, like, not so much like suit and tie every day today, unless you're in a specific line of work.

Speaker 9 Like me, I'm not in a suit right now because like I'm just in like an AQ dress moment because I'm not going to court. It's like, you know, they don't require that.

Speaker 9 That firm was like suit and tie every day. like you're there at eight, like you leave at five.
Like, it was very, like,

Speaker 9 very like traditional, which is actually fine. Like, I didn't mind it, it wasn't a problem.
But there were some old heads at the head of that ship, right? And I'm thinking,

Speaker 9 I'm gonna be fired. Like,

Speaker 9 and um,

Speaker 9 the partner was like, and this has been the same copy and paste, thank God. Um, through all I've been to, like, this is my third firm, and I adore it.

Speaker 9 Um, every single one, when they'd find out, or like this one, I like told about it, because I was like, look, like listen, it's the vibe.

Speaker 9 They've said, you know, hey, there are going to be some partners or some like other lawyers here who like don't agree with it, right? They might be like, oh, that's a preference, whatever.

Speaker 9 They were like,

Speaker 9 as far as we've seen, and as far as you've told us and maintained, you don't like, right? You're not filming with like your coworkers.

Speaker 9 You're not, you're not making it obvious that you are an attorney with our firm.

Speaker 9 You're not, you know, making these opinions like something that could reflect poorly on our clients or poorly on anyone, or not even just poorly.

Speaker 9 Just like no one wants my someone else's opinions to be copy and pasted to them, even if they're correct every time. Every single time.
Look, like some people just need to be wrong on their own.

Speaker 9 And so, so that, and they were like, if that's, you know, if you maintain that, like, great. You know, they're like, that's you do that on your outside of work.
Like, awesome.

Speaker 9 You know how many lawyers have side hustles? Like, have other companies own like wineries that like do random shit as long as it does. Wineries.

Speaker 9 You know, that's so random. I just, I live in California.
So like you'd be shocked. And I'm like, wait, what? Like out of his backyard? Yeah.
It's like a booming business. I'm like,

Speaker 9 is it like good? Like his dog shit's back there. Like, are we sure? Like, I'm not really like.
Is that sanitary? Like, are we okay? Right? Yeah. Yeah.
No, I love that.

Speaker 9 No, I think to your point, my, none of my attorneys, I have three attorneys on retainer at all times for different reasons. I have my trademark, my entertainment, my family law.

Speaker 9 and then I had my criminal attorney at one point. But they're all, they don't fit the mold.
Like, no, there's no,

Speaker 9 and which so much surprises me because I feel like growing up, you think of a lawyer and they you don't see their personality outside of work, you don't see them, you know, be fun.

Speaker 9 It's just strictly professional, kind of like what you described of your first law form. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but just that it's very like, this is what it is.
Like suits.

Speaker 9 Do you watch suits on Netflix? Have you seen it? Of course, I've seen it on West.

Speaker 9 It's high fantasy, but yes, of course, I do. I enjoy it for what it is.
But every time something comes up, I'm not a lawyer.

Speaker 9 I aspire to be one, but I'm like, I wonder if Reb thinks that that's like, is that even real? Like, because some of the scenes, I'm like, that wouldn't happen. Does Reb know?

Speaker 9 But, but, like, you know, the difference between

Speaker 9 attorneys, I guess, right? There, as you have experienced, there are 80 million types of attorneys that you can be, whether it be area of law or personality, truly.

Speaker 9 Even just in my like trial department, like there, every partner is a completely different mold. Like it's a completely different experience working for any of them.

Speaker 9 And it's not like negative or positive. It's just different.
It's the same thing as a friend group.

Speaker 9 Like when you hang out one-on-one, it's going to be different with everyone, but every one of your friends. And so like for suits, right? Yeah.
Like some attorneys are just...

Speaker 9 obnoxious and would just sit there and be like pause that would never happen no no no no no and they don't like they can't enjoy the show. Like, let it be a TV show.

Speaker 9 Whatever, like, they're like, can't do it. I'm like, this is so outlandish.
It's entertaining. Like, it's like, it's like, it's like a doctor watching Grey's Anatomy.

Speaker 9 Like, if you don't like it for the romance and the drama, like, you're not watching it just to correct the medical procedures, which I'm sure you would, right? To your spouse, to your friends.

Speaker 9 But, like, it doesn't. Suits, I started watching also before I went to law school.
And then I just

Speaker 9 started it. I just started it.
Suits?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I didn't know it was that old. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because

Speaker 9 our girl, Megan Markle, was like a lead. You know, she's a paralegal in it.
Yeah, Rachel. She's insane.
She slays. No, she's a good job.
Like, I'm only on season three, and she has done a fun job.

Speaker 9 Like, I had no idea she could act like, I didn't even know she was an actor. She's a fantastic actress.
Yeah, I think she really is fantastic. Truly, I think she's great.

Speaker 9 And yeah, no, so she, like, she started dating Prince Harry while she was filming. And it was like the later seasons.
Like, they were like wrapping it up. And then

Speaker 9 when she ended that, then she quit acting. She was like, I'm out.
Well, she if she ever goes back, I will go see whatever, I'll go watch whatever she's acting in because she's fantastic.

Speaker 9 Me and you, front row,

Speaker 9 because I love, and she's just so lovely and gorgeous to look at. I mean, all women are, but like, you know, like, I mean, the close-up in 4K, I would be like, beauty Phil, like, back it up.

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Speaker 9 Do you, how do you turn, do you turn off your personality for clients in litigation, or are you just as like spunky and spassy, spassy, sassy, and like sarcastic and funny when you go to court, or you can't, you just can't?

Speaker 9 I don't know.

Speaker 9 You can't turn some of it off. It's the same.
Like I, my friends,

Speaker 9 at least like the people closest to me, because of course I asked them in the beginning, I was like, this is like me, right?

Speaker 9 Like, you know, you have like a moment where you're like looking in the the mirror, and I'm like, No, this is me,

Speaker 9 right? And I'm like, No, it is, it is, but I want to ask, you know, the people who know me best. And

Speaker 9 they are like, No, yeah, that's a hundred percent you. You're just a little like turning up the volume on it, right? Like, you're just like the qualities and traits that I already have.

Speaker 9 Like, obviously, for entertainment purposes on TikTok, I'm gonna like make the movements big, I'm gonna make the voice obnoxious. Like, I do not talk in a vocal fry that violently, um,

Speaker 9 as you know, right? But then it's like, you know, that is right in a judge's day, though, because I feel like everything is so like

Speaker 9 monotone for the most part. I don't know about civil litigation.
I don't know anything about like the civil realm, but it is pretty monotone. So, like, I don't know.

Speaker 9 I feel like if I was a judge, I'd be like, okay, well, a little bit of sass is like kind of entertaining and like

Speaker 9 my day, right?

Speaker 9 You, you know, I

Speaker 9 definitely like as an as a lawyer, just in court strategy-wise, the same way you would present a slideshow at a corporate board meeting, right?

Speaker 9 You're not going to talk to your sister the same way that you're going to talk to a board of professionals, no matter how hilarious you are or no matter how, you know, like great your think your point is.

Speaker 9 What you want ultimately, the goal is, is for the words out of your mouth to be louder than anything else about you. You want them to absorb what you're saying.
That's our entire, like, right?

Speaker 9 My, I sell my brain. for a living, right? Like freekonomics, the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer, like different parts of the body, truly.
I saw my brain and my voice.

Speaker 9 That's literally what I do. Love you.
Like, I can't. That's true.
I mean, look, listen, look and listen. Okay.

Speaker 9 All of the men who are like, all these girls on OnlyFans, I'm like, weren't you like an Air Force Reserve, Chad? I'm like, okay, the government can have it,

Speaker 9 but it's, because it's your, okay, for sure. Got it.
Like, you're selling your body to the government. Like, when you go into the military.

Speaker 9 I mean, that's a good point, too. I mean, they don't have any bodily autonomy whatsoever.
They can't tonight.

Speaker 9 Can't shave their beard.

Speaker 9 Yeah. People pay for mine.
People pay for my brain and my voice. And I, you know, so, so, so typically, and I've seen it, right? I've seen four awful, terrible,

Speaker 9 just wouldn't even spend a penny type of lawyering in the courtroom, right? All the time. I mean, there are a lot of lawyers out there.

Speaker 9 People think, like, oh, she's a lawyer, she must be smart, or oh, he's a lawyer, he must be smart. Lawyers will tell you, no, that's not the default.
That's not the default.

Speaker 9 You see people who make like very, you know, are arguing with with the judge. It's outlandish.

Speaker 9 Like they're moving their body a lot, like banging on the table, like voice, like up and down, up and down, kind of like a man like speaks normally. You know what I mean? Like to women.

Speaker 9 And it just doesn't hit. Like it just doesn't hit because you're so distracted.
It's just distracting.

Speaker 9 And so anytime I'm arguing, like if it's just a motion, like me, you know, me arguing to the judge as opposed to like examining a witness or something, I'm, I don't move.

Speaker 9 Like I'm very like at the podium, hands clasped. I'm like, good morning, Your Honor.
Thank you. I appreciate the time that you've given me today.

Speaker 9 First, I would like to note as an initial matter that this case should have been romanted to state court, but I digress. Like, like, it's just very, like, right,

Speaker 9 slow and methodic. Um, and I do not talk this fast.

Speaker 9 Okay, okay. So, you have to, but it is a right, but some

Speaker 9 judges, the judges will give you sass sometimes, like, sat you as in, like,

Speaker 9 they're funny, like, they'll say you from that court.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, I've been to court a couple times, so of course, of course, of course, you know, you know, but like, some right, some judges are known for not being like that at all.

Speaker 9 Other judges are like very cash, they're like, very, like, hey,

Speaker 9 so we seem to be having a dispute,

Speaker 9 and I'm like, I love you so much.

Speaker 9 I want to get the green light to do what you just did, but I don't think that I have that.

Speaker 9 Loving that, yeah, no, I love that. I just, I can't, I,

Speaker 9 the male attorneys that I've worked with are far less

Speaker 9 appealing in the sense that I, I had to, I had let one go.

Speaker 9 The misogyny, the complete switch in personality and

Speaker 9 pompousness, crazy. I love my female attorneys.
I love my women attorneys. They're just fantastic.
Did you know when you were going to law school who was going to

Speaker 9 be the attorney that would fight with the judges? Or did you, were you like, I don't, I can't, I don't have that the grasp on those people yet?

Speaker 9 Um, I mean, you know, it is super unfortunate that you had a bad experience with a male attorney, honest to God, um, for all of the I'm not saying all in her like that.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, no, no, for all of the very valid shit talk,

Speaker 9 100% that I have

Speaker 9 about

Speaker 9 the must, the rampant misogyny in this field specifically.

Speaker 9 And obviously, you know, there's going to be misogyny and sexism in every area that you know, every career, every every line of work that you choose

Speaker 9 but I think that unfortunately

Speaker 9 there's a bit of an exclusive club for the girlies in STEM and in in the legal field the way I describe it to people genuinely genuinely and it's not an overexaggeration it's it's from day one of law school I have felt this

Speaker 9 it feels like 20 years behind what every other field is

Speaker 9 is in terms of or where every other field is in terms of progressiveness and in terms of, right, like, like

Speaker 9 lessening the misogyny a bit, or like, you know, like certain comments that would be made in the middle of a staff meeting at like a sales company 20 years ago could have been a haha funny laugh.

Speaker 9 And like one person was like, that's inappropriate. And now it's like everyone's very aware.

Speaker 9 No, we don't say that. But then other sexism, misogyny will be, it's still there.
It's just like more nuanced or like not so overt or whatnot.

Speaker 9 For whatever reason, in the legal field, it is,

Speaker 9 I wish it were nuanced. Like, I really do.
If I, I mean, it's just, it's so blatant and so rampant.

Speaker 9 Um, it's never just one guy, you know, like it's all like, like, there's, there's, there's so many of them. Um, and it doesn't necessarily even have to be

Speaker 9 a man too, which is always like what makes me the saddest when, you know,

Speaker 9 there's like another female attorney or, or

Speaker 9 a female, like, like, client sometimes, or like or like opposing um

Speaker 9 a party who very clearly is just treating you differently or like you know talking to you in such a way where you're like let's keep it cute you know like let's let's tighten it up like I am not your friend I'm not your buddy like let like do not speak to me like I you know like I'm a child just because I'm younger than you you know right

Speaker 9 come on um but but yeah no I

Speaker 9 Like I have for all the shit talk that I that I have to say about all of that which is super fair and I'd I'd absolutely, you know, blast it from a speaker if I could. There are so many, actually,

Speaker 9 there are, and I've just been blessed and grateful, so many incredible male attorneys that I have had the privilege of working with or even working against. And I'm not even saying that as like a,

Speaker 9 like, I'm trying to include them. If they sucked, I'd be like, I haven't worked with a single one who even was worth writing home about.

Speaker 9 But truly, like, it's been, it's, that's been great because I have been very much helped and

Speaker 9 protected by so many great male bosses that I've had, partners, or just other associates. And I think that's just indicative of the type of firm that I've chosen.

Speaker 9 I'm obviously not working with scrubs.

Speaker 9 Sorry, you guys, like I didn't do terribly in law school. Like, I hate to break it to you.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's what I said in your intro when I when I did the intro before you came on. I was like, contrary to popular belief, like she, she did go past the bar.

Speaker 9 She did go to law school and she's a practicing attorney. Yeah, exactly.
And, you know, I worked my tail off.

Speaker 9 I was in the top of my class. I think I was on like number, I feel like, honestly, the numbers get twisted.
It's not even me trying to be arrogant.

Speaker 9 It's just like I blacked out during that entire time. Like, I was like barely a person.

Speaker 9 Yeah. I was in top.
I was like, I think I was number 10 in my class of like two something. And that's incredible.
And you didn't even want to go to law school. Like, that was never on your radar? No.

Speaker 9 I mean, I wanted to do, which a lot of people cannot relate to. And And I'm very self-aware of the fact that this is not very relatable.
And it's so fair. I loved school.
I still love school.

Speaker 9 Unfortunately, right, like I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, I know it's mental.
I have a mentee illness. Like, I get it.

Speaker 9 Um, but, but the problem with that is I, there was nothing that I wanted to do enough to quit school, you know, like I, I, I was, I liked school so much because I was good at it.

Speaker 9 I was like, this I'm good at. I'm not really a sales gal.
Like, I'm not really giving cold calling. Like, it's not really, not really fitting my vibe, my aura, my moment.

Speaker 9 And of course my parents are like, well, what? Like get a job, like get a job.

Speaker 9 And so I thought I was just going to go to grad school, get my, get a, get a master's in history and like write a book or marry rich. And here I am now.

Speaker 9 Get a master's in history or marry rich. Like there's no in between.

Speaker 9 No, no, no, no, no. It was absolutely always get a master's in history and either I work or I marry rich.
Like, okay. If I'm marrying rich, I'm going to have a a master's.
Okay, period.

Speaker 9 Cause you were depending early. Right.
If I'm marrying for love, we're gonna have to work, unfortunately. So what was, I did read that you got a, uh, your undergrad is in political science.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but that was also random. Not random, but um, for anyone like listening and who's like thinking about law school or anything that track, I knew nothing.
I knew nothing, nothing.

Speaker 9 I don't have parents who were lawyers, not even close, like not even close, like not even corporate, like nothing. no one in the family, no friend, like friends of friends, anything like that.

Speaker 9 That was,

Speaker 9 oh no, oh no, no, no.

Speaker 9 I was the very first one to like have a, like, to honestly be what I was academically. My, my siblings are very, very smart, but I was just like obsessed with wanting to continue it.

Speaker 9 And my parents were like, we got C's. I don't know what to tell you.
Good luck. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what the fuck is that?

Speaker 9 So I was like Googling, right? I had no idea what I was doing. I self-studied for the LSAT.
I like bought these like LSAT bibles. Like I didn't know what should have been on my application.

Speaker 9 I didn't know like what, like, I was like, what major do you do? Probably something law-related. That sounds right.
You know, whatever.

Speaker 9 And then you learn all of this stuff after you already get into law school. And you're like, wow, this would have been helpful to know before.
Why don't we tell them that?

Speaker 9 And the law schools are like, no.

Speaker 9 Okay. Basically, what I found out when I got into law school, and I believe that this is consistent across the board, it's not just like particular to my law school.

Speaker 9 My law school is an ABA accredited law school, which means like, don't worry, it's praying. It's like, chill.
People aren't even like, shaman, do, shiny one. No, I did not.
Um,

Speaker 9 whether you're Ivy League or like the Scrubs, which like love the Scrubs. Um,

Speaker 9 majors

Speaker 9 of any person that you could think of who is like, I want to be a lawyer, right? Like, I'm going to be a lawyer. I am just like everyone else, and I want to be a lawyer.

Speaker 9 They're probably going to have a political science major, right? Or like a law, legal studies major, or like, you know, some English major, which is, yes, that makes sense.

Speaker 9 Obviously, they chose it for a reason. Right.
But law schools don't give a shit what your major is. And I mean that with my head, toes, knees, and chest.
You do not learn.

Speaker 9 And I don't care what your major was. I don't care if you interned at a law office for 10 years.

Speaker 9 Not a single thing that you learn in college or in work, okay, prepares you for law school or makes you ahead of the game in law school, except for law school.

Speaker 9 The only thing that helps you in law school are the study habits that you've already gathered and decided work helpful for you or worked for you.

Speaker 9 You know, like I'm a big serious theory board gal on the wall, right? I love like putting signs up.

Speaker 9 That will help you. You don't need anything else.
And the law schools know that. They're like, we care about how you're going to do academically here.

Speaker 9 If you can do well academically in any major, biology,

Speaker 9 French, like a science,

Speaker 9 a math major, they love that. I swear in my life, so many people were like, oh yeah, like I got in, like, I had, you know, I got in with that, like, quite literally Elwood's like fashion.

Speaker 9 I had a 4.0, but then someone else had poli-sci, which is a harder major. And so they had a, you know, a 3.5 GPA and they didn't get in.

Speaker 9 So they should have just done with, you know what I mean? So, so my like advice, whatever, take it with a grain of salt if you want, but like, whatever. You're right.

Speaker 9 If you want to go to law school, but I'm, if you want to go to law school, like genuinely, you know, I, if I could have done anything differently, only one thing I would say, everything else, I, I'm, I'm so happy with, I would have done history as my major because I enjoyed that major more.

Speaker 9 I would have worked like, like, you know, if I'm going to go to college, why not do study what I love? Right.

Speaker 9 If you're planning on going to law school, even if you're like, but I like chemistry, major in chemistry, major in whatever major you think you're going to get the highest GPA in because it's GPA LSAT.

Speaker 9 GPA LSAT and then like your personal statement, whatever. They don't care what it's in.

Speaker 9 Like, that's what's so obscene. I was like, who didn't, who, where the fuck was this memo? They were like, bummer.
Well, because

Speaker 9 you didn't have daddy as a lawyer. I'm like, okay.
I had one of my girlfriends on the pod on one of my other podcasts and she was a communications major and then she went to law school. Oh, great.
So

Speaker 9 and she's a practicing attorney in Texas. So, um, and I just told her, I was like, I'm going to be a lawyer, but I went for communication.
She's like, I did too.

Speaker 9 So I don't know if I'll get anywhere. But wait, so

Speaker 9 like you can be anything. Like, like, it doesn't mean that like those majors are like, you know, like my major, obviously I got in, like, everything's fine.
But like, you know,

Speaker 9 I know everyone who like, like, I changed my major to political science thinking, that's what they want. If you're in a, right, you, you were communications, amazing.

Speaker 9 Like if you already have that major, like you already want to do, great. But there's so many people in college who are like, love being in, you know, some random major physics.

Speaker 9 And they're like, I have to change it. No, you do not.
You know, I'm like, do not uproot what you've already done. Do not get, get in, like, do a harder major and then get a shittier GPA.

Speaker 9 Doesn't right. Like do, and also I definitely would have gotten a a higher GPA in history um because political science they made you do economics um

Speaker 9 it was a Monday Wednesday Friday 8 a.m.

Speaker 9 I was not attending he that professor did not know my face until the final

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Speaker 9 Did you take your LSAT during COVID or you got into law school during COVID? Or what was that whole thing? I was graduating. I was studying for the bar during COVID.
Oh, so you were going to school?

Speaker 9 I graduated from college in 2017. I graduated from law school in 2020.
And right after you graduate, like you graduate like May, April, right?

Speaker 9 You immediately start studying for the bar and are supposed to take the bar in California on July 28th. It got postponed like three times, and it was horrible.

Speaker 9 And that's why I became violently depressed because I haven't restudied the same thing. It was horrible.

Speaker 9 Don't can't even get into it. Like

Speaker 9 trauma. That's why I am funny

Speaker 9 and why I started posting on TikTok because I was so ill. Like I was so sick and ill.

Speaker 9 I'm not laughing at your pain. It's just that we're not.
No, no, I know you're not. You can't.
It's a trauma that makes us funny. It's the only.

Speaker 9 and and what you were talking about my trauma i have oh oh poor poor privileged white girl you had to take a test like bummer i'm like you have had

Speaker 9 you have had it since you were a little kid you've you literally were like oh let me just draw the short straw every time

Speaker 9 like the the best the best thing that life ever

Speaker 9 threw you was your beautiful child no literally i just told my best friend that i was like the only like that lit a a fire under my ass That was the only good thing that ever happened to me, which is crazy because I'm not here to promote teen pregnancy But like girl

Speaker 9 But but but of course of course Tom

Speaker 9 so if that's good We plan it or we don't have it I mean period No, but it's just crazy because okay, so the L you took the L sat

Speaker 9 when I was a so I did it pretty late like I would not like my plan right I that's why I don't really talk about it on my

Speaker 9 no, no, I on podcast absolutely Like, I'm like, the people who are listening, like, absolutely like hear the shits.

Speaker 9 The reason why I don't, I don't want to get it to like, because when it goes out to the general pub, you know,

Speaker 9 hard, hard to explain to people who like haven't gone viral, whatever, before.

Speaker 9 But I'm like, if you really saw like the comment sections, it's not so much like the hate that really blows, like, you know, that's like water, whatever, don't care about that at all. Yeah.

Speaker 9 It's more like it feels, it feels as though

Speaker 9 80% of the general population, population, all ages,

Speaker 9 are in a life

Speaker 9 that's a, that's, that's a car wash, but they're riding a bicycle and they are wondering why they're getting wet. And I'm like, queens.

Speaker 9 Oh my God. And so if I ever was like, hey, this is what I did, right? Like I took the LSAT very late in, you know, generally

Speaker 9 the beginning of my senior year of college. Like I studied for it my fall semester, senior year.
I literally touched down from going abroad and was like, lawyer sounds fun. Swear on my life.

Speaker 9 I wish it was more planned. I don't recommend, like, definitely, right?

Speaker 9 Like, maybe, like, I should have like done, saved more slots to be able to retake the LSAT because you can retake it, I think, up to like three or four times or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, I was like, one and done.

Speaker 9 Like,

Speaker 9 why am I so overcome? You definitely.

Speaker 9 You were not on the bike in the car wash when you did that.

Speaker 9 No, I was in a Porsche with a lead foot.

Speaker 9 correct obscene so so so i took it um it was like december it was like the december lsat and your score and then like you submit apps in like february and i got my score and like immediately was like hit submit

Speaker 9 So yeah, that's what I did. I self-studied.
I basically just during that semester, it was actually nice. I do recommend to people who are studying for it.
I didn't study for it over summer.

Speaker 9 Some, some people that I knew did. I'm glad that I didn't do it over summer because when I was doing it during class time, all of my other friends were in class, right?

Speaker 9 Like college, like everyone has classes like during the week.

Speaker 9 I literally lied to people and pretended like my LSAT studying carve out three hours of time, like, you know, three times a week, whatever. I was like, oh, got to go to class.

Speaker 9 And they'd be like, okay, bye. And like, there's no like, what? Like, you don't have class.
You know what I mean? Dah, dah, dah, because it's summer, whatever.

Speaker 9 So I treated it genuinely, gaslighted myself into thinking like, no, there's no, you can't reschedge. Like, this is a class.
Like, you need to be in attendance.

Speaker 9 And it just helped me be more disciplined because obviously I was like having a really great time in college.

Speaker 9 And it was, it's, you know, it very easy to get distracted.

Speaker 9 So it was easy to, you know, anyone's excuse always if you don't want to go out or don't, you know, can't go like jump in the ocean with my friends

Speaker 9 was just, I gotta go to class. So what did your family say? They were like, oh, did you tell them you were going to law school? Um, yeah, I mean, I, when I was studying, I guess like

Speaker 9 they were obviously

Speaker 9 when I was, you know, flying home from, from going abroad, which I, you know, funded, did fund myself. I was a waitress at Chili's at a golf course.

Speaker 9 We have all chilies over here. So I'm a chili head baby.
I love chilies. Most of that shit's microwaved.
I'm so sorry to tell you, but I don't even care. I don't even care.
I don't even care.

Speaker 9 I love chilies. I love you for that because everyone that I've told about that, they're like,

Speaker 9 I see it so different. I'm like, really? Because I feel like it's not really giving fine.
Like, like, you're, look, I'm, you're. I'll go in the back and microwave it myself.
I'll still eat it there.

Speaker 9 I'm like, this margarita was $4.

Speaker 9 I'm good. Like, give me a chip and salsa.
Like, give me a chip. And the chips are like, the chips are in like this big warming thing.
They care more about the chips than they do about anything else.

Speaker 9 And God bless them. God bless them.
So you were abroad working at a Chili's?

Speaker 9 No. Oh, my God.
Imagine. Oh, I was like, they were able to pay.
No. In order to pay for like spending money to go to study abroad in Switzerland, right? I like to went to my parents.
Yes.

Speaker 9 It was so great. Geneva at the UN.

Speaker 9 This is not the Princess Diaries. No.

Speaker 9 There were no hot men at the end of it. I'm unfortunately.
Just me. Also, it sounds like absolutely fantastic to say that you were studying in Geneva in Switzerland.
Like what? Yes.

Speaker 9 I leaned into that very heavily on my obligations. I was like, anyways, a name-dropping, right? At the end, Geneva, UN, Geneva, UN, as if I wasn't like barely passing international environmental law.

Speaker 9 Like, please.

Speaker 9 Oh, my lord.

Speaker 9 But yeah, it was great. I mean, I just, I really loved it.

Speaker 9 I went to UC Santa Barbara for undergrad for people who, like, University of California Santa Barbara, for people who aren't from California fair. It's like UCLA, but better.
Go Calculos.

Speaker 9 Their Education Abroad program, it was the very first year that they had ever offered Geneva, like to study at this like international global studies program.

Speaker 9 It was like harder to get into the UN, you know, whatever.

Speaker 9 And everyone typically, when they went abroad, at least my friends at the time were going to like Barcelona and Florence and all these places. And honestly, this is so lame.

Speaker 9 I'm an every lawyer is a nerd at heart in some way. I love a good party.
I shotgun a lot of beers on a lot of decks in college for sure. Like I was in a sorority, like rah, rah.

Speaker 9 I just love museums and I love traveling by myself or like traveling without like friends on the way, right? Like friends that you have to attach yourself to the entire time.

Speaker 9 I wanted to meet new people in my program who were from other UC schools, like UC Berkeley or UCLA, whatever, who were going on the same program.

Speaker 9 I just wanted a semester

Speaker 9 to

Speaker 9 find myself. Find myself.
No, but literally, I say this all the time.

Speaker 9 I just had someone on my podcast that is, she's known for her solo travel. And I was like, my best trips have been by myself.
I went to Europe for two weeks by myself.

Speaker 9 The people that I met there were incredible. You experience new things.
You get to meet new people. One of the girls that I met, I'm just going on a tangent.
She

Speaker 9 knows I love this. She was a nanny for the

Speaker 9 royal family of Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 9 So I was like, this is so cool. But anyway, continue.
No, that's a no, that's the thing is that is that people assume like, oh, traveling alone.

Speaker 9 I'm like, well, you get on the flight alone and you are responsible for only yourself, right? And you can do whatever you want, but you always meet, like, you have people.

Speaker 9 Like, you're never alone by the end of it. And for abroad, like, study abroad program, you know, it's like, it's like, yes, I was showing up alone.

Speaker 9 I was like in my, you know, in my own door, I had to like figure out the train, whatever.

Speaker 9 Like, of course, your girly took Spanish up till AP Spanish, like, was like pretty much fluent by the end of high school. Where did she decide to go? Spain? Oh, no.
Geneva. What do they speak?

Speaker 9 French and Swiss German. French and Swiss German.
That's why I can't do it.

Speaker 9 I could not, I, I can't even, like, I used to be able to say, like, a, sorry, I speak English, you know, whatever, but I apparently, how I look is a beacon.

Speaker 9 I'd walk into, you know, any store, they'd be like, hey, what's up? What do you want? I'm like, oh, come on. Do you don't really, I don't look French? They're like, not even a little bit.
No. Oh.

Speaker 9 What do you want? Like, smoking their cigarette in the restaurant and like obsessed. But yeah, like, I just, I just knew there were going to be people in my program.

Speaker 9 There was only one other person who went on the program from my school, which I was kind of happy about. Yeah.
We didn't know each other. She was like in another sorority.

Speaker 9 We like tentatively DM'd each other and we're both like, hey, just FYI. Like, I'm trying to do this by myself, like, whatever.
And I was like, same. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 9 We ended up being so close, like, becoming best friends, traveling together. It was great.

Speaker 9 So, so, right, the entire time that I'm gallivanting, okay, gallivanting around Europe, all right, in very sketchy situations for sure.

Speaker 9 I slept on the floor of the Amsterdam train station to like save three euros. Like I was broke, right? Like I'm living off the Chili's money, the Chili's check.

Speaker 9 My parents were like, hey, what are you doing after college?

Speaker 9 What is this job you speak of? Like what are, what's the plan? What's the game plan? And I was like, just like live and let love for love and let live. I don't really know.

Speaker 9 They were like, oh, so, so I told him, I was like, grad school, grad school, grad school. Don't worry about it.
Like, applications aren't due till next year. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 9 And I was, I didn't know what I was doing. And

Speaker 9 they just kept, you know, asking. My dad, of course, has always been like, I want you to be an attorney because I've, I've bodied him in arguments since I was two.
Absolutely buried. Yes.

Speaker 9 Like scoreboard up. Like he, yeah, he's great.
I love my dad. He's such a girl dad.
Like he's, he's very, he's extremely proud of his very assertive daughter. As he should be.

Speaker 9 Much, much Much to my mother's chagrin. She's like, you need to like discipline her sometimes.
Like she does it with an attitude, doesn't like she's she's kind of a huge bitch. She's really mean.

Speaker 9 And I'm like 12, right? My parents are in the corner. Like, what do we do?

Speaker 9 And so my dad, you know, was like, well, why not law school? Why not law school? And I was like, no, no, no. And then

Speaker 9 my roommate, my senior year, a few weeks into, you know, me being back from abroad, I saw that she had LSAD books.

Speaker 9 We ended up becoming best friends and going to the same law school, like coincidentally, and becoming moot court partners, winning every competition we were in.

Speaker 9 She's now a practicing attorney, she's my best friend, but we weren't even friends. We barely knew each other.
We got stuck rooming together in the in you know our pi-fi house.

Speaker 9 And I was like, Oh, you're taking the LSAT, and she was like, Yeah,

Speaker 9 I was like, Oh,

Speaker 9 bought the book, you are also a practicing attorney. That's so crazy.
No, I love that story. I love this story.
You should write a book about it, though, because I feel like this would be

Speaker 9 like legally blonde, but like real life.

Speaker 9 You know what? I was thinking about that. I know you've written like several books, which is so obscene to me because my, my dream, like my dream always from the time I was 13, again, weirdo,

Speaker 9 not weirdo, but just like very, I was just such a book, like just a reader.

Speaker 9 Like anyone who's been a rampant reader their whole life, consider law school if you have no other, like literally consider it.

Speaker 9 You read fast and you're able to read and read comprehend, like comprehension. That is 90% of my job, literally just reading comp.

Speaker 9 I

Speaker 9 always wrote poetry when I was a kid. Like I didn't understand diary entries daily.
I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, I have so many poems.

Speaker 9 Like, I write a poem, I write a poem every day almost, like, at this point, truly, just because it's like my own little diary entry. I always felt it was weird being like, dear diary, shit is whack.

Speaker 9 I wanted to, like, make it sound cute and like Juana Del Rey.

Speaker 9 You know what I mean? Like, I wanted it to sound like a little like title it, shit is whack. Shit is whack.
With like, with like, but like, very serious, you know what I mean?

Speaker 9 Like, very serious, like, moti, like, images. Like, shit.

Speaker 9 It's tweak. Shit is whack.

Speaker 9 And then red measles. Yeah.
And yeah, that's like definitely a bucklist for me, whether it just be like self-published, right? Like five people read it. What is holding you back?

Speaker 9 Why haven't you done it yet? Honestly, just because I have a lot, like I want to,

Speaker 9 if I do it, I would want to,

Speaker 9 you know,

Speaker 9 compile every because like all my poems right are in like on like an app, you know, like an Evernote app on my phone.

Speaker 9 And it's like over the course of literally 10 years of these poems, I would want to compile them. And then some of them are just so blatantly about people.

Speaker 9 And I don't really, like, just so it would really, it's like, it's, it,

Speaker 9 look, listen, look and listen. Um, and I, I, I just, you know, I think it's gonna be something that I do

Speaker 9 when I feel like I'm in a, I'm in a good place.

Speaker 9 Not like in any sense of the word, but like personally, I feel like I want to like either have married rich or like married for love. Right.

Speaker 9 Because I don't really, write because I want to like obviously lie to my husband and be like, they're all the loved ones are about you. Meanwhile, it's like the situation shift from 2016.

Speaker 9 Who's like, wait a minute.

Speaker 9 I don't know. Period.
And I'm like, wait a minute. It wasn't about you.

Speaker 9 It totally was. You know what I mean? I'm like, please take me back.
I'm like, take me back. Where are you?

Speaker 9 So, so, yeah, like, I'm absolutely going to do it. Thank you.
I appreciate you. Yeah, no, do it because.
But what, like, you, you writing all of those books that you have, okay?

Speaker 9 And like, and like, what I was just thinking about the other day, I think someone tweeted about it.

Speaker 9 How in the frick frack pattywhack do y'all remember with the memoir, okay, the memoirs? How do you remember shit? I'm like, fucking trauma.

Speaker 9 No. Well, see,

Speaker 9 I, but then the whole book would just be like

Speaker 9 my traumatic experiences. I'm like, I'm like, I feel like there was some funny stuff.
Like, I feel like there was some fun time. I don't remember any of the good stuff.

Speaker 9 There's not, I don't remember any of the stuff. Like, I literally don't.

Speaker 9 To your point about like wanting to collect all of your stuff over the years, Pride Over Pity, my very first book, that took me years to write because things would happen and I would remember certain things and then I would write them down.

Speaker 9 And so it was just like a compilation over the years of like things, you know what I mean?

Speaker 9 And so

Speaker 9 100%. And it's fucked up.
It's like, why does the trauma stick out more than the happy times? I don't fucking know.

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Speaker 9 But even then, like,

Speaker 9 because I read Jeanette McCurdy's

Speaker 9 memoir.

Speaker 9 Yeah, like I'm glad my mom died um and it's so

Speaker 9 poignant and so just incredibly written and so detailed and and and you can just tell it's just in pain she's writing from her voice it's just from her voice but but you know and yes like you know every chapter is like a new like day in her life right childhood moving along and all of that

Speaker 9 Even with the trauma, I'm like, these details are crazy. I'm sure, you know, of course, it took her years and years, but I feel like

Speaker 9 maybe at 12, she like woke up one day and was like, I feel like I'm going to be a memoir girly and started like writing some shit down because there's like, like my sister,

Speaker 9 do you have siblings? I don't. Okay.
My sister, thank God, my sister, my brother, younger sister, older brother. They to this day will be like, oh yeah, remember when Diddada happened?

Speaker 9 Like, it's a major life event. And I was like,

Speaker 9 it's coming back, right? And it was like a huge thing.

Speaker 9 And I'm like, wow, I really would never have even clocked it again, like re-remembered it, unless you hadn't been sitting right next to me going, oh my God, look at our life. Wow.

Speaker 9 I always wonder that about siblings. Like, I wonder that about my own kids.
They all,

Speaker 9 they're not twins, right? But they all virtually experience the same type of things in real time, right? But like, are they going to remember it differently? Yes. I have to

Speaker 9 siblings, and but the beautiful, I mean, beautiful like pros, cons about it. It's just like so cool the way, like, how different kids are,

Speaker 9 you know, between, between siblings. My brother and I are two and a half, he's two and a half years older than me.
And then my little sister is six years younger than me.

Speaker 9 So we, like, we're all in the same house at one point. And then, like, you know, but spaced out, but very, very close, very, very close siblings.

Speaker 9 Even though, yes, we were in the same house, the same parents, you know, had the same like days, you know, whatever.

Speaker 9 parenting styles obviously differed between the children for sure.

Speaker 9 But no matter what, like we, we had different childhoods. Like, we had the same childhood, but we experienced it through a different lens.
So it was inherently different.

Speaker 9 And it's just interesting to like, to kind of recognize that. And you only recognize it once you're older, like once you're much older.
And, you know, it's not even like in a bad way.

Speaker 9 It's just kind of like, yeah, like,

Speaker 9 you know, like, I remember this happening this way. And my sister is like, oh, yeah, I remember.
Like, I used to go in your room all the time. Like, you were listening to Hannah Montana.

Speaker 9 And I absolutely was. She was my first concert but I was like

Speaker 9 she's like and then you would like let me borrow your CD player da da da and I'm like

Speaker 9 I don't really remember that being like a pivotal moment in my life you know I mean but it was a pivotal moment in hers right exactly that was a huge deal exactly she's a little sister and she was like my big sister is like letting me listen to her music

Speaker 9 and for me it was like a one-off right I'm like 13 whatever I'm like get out of my room it's so it's just so and it's so many things it's same thing with with my sister and with my brother too right like my older brother just like being my second dad you know protect being so kind and protecting protecting me and letting me like scream and cry and run in circles around him while he's on the camera going like this like with his jailed hair he's like merry christmas like his eye is like

Speaker 9 twitching he developed you know what's funny did you ever did you have issues with your kids like reacting poorly to like the next sibling coming so far no okay um

Speaker 9 except for my oldest son he is very much like a germaphobe so my little sister is too

Speaker 9 I didn't think they, I didn't think that was real. I thought that was real.
Only as a little kid. It went away only as a little kid.

Speaker 9 Like my mom told her, because my mom, my sister goes, it's not my mom's fault. Like, bless her heart.
My sister was, they were at the grocery store. My sister goes, mom, what's a germ?

Speaker 9 And my mom goes, puts her in the cart and goes, oh, it's like all of these like tiny little microscopic bugs that are crawling all over everything.

Speaker 9 And my sister literally, it was like a creep dumbbell. She goes, ah,

Speaker 9 and my mom was like, no, no. And from that point on, on, she would rub her hands raw with hand sanitizer.
Like, she was just terrified. That's my oldest son.

Speaker 9 The only thing that he negative, like, when my second son was born, he was just like, when he saw him, he loved him so much.

Speaker 9 And it's, you'll, you could see it on Team Mom, but he also was like, he's, he looks disgusting. Because he is just about,

Speaker 9 I mean, babies are ugly, but like, he was more grossed out by like, I think, like, the crusty hair, like that kind of thing.

Speaker 9 Infants are gross. Like, and I look, I love

Speaker 9 humans.

Speaker 9 I mean, I don't, but

Speaker 9 right, right.

Speaker 9 You know, as someone who has not yet created a life,

Speaker 9 God is a woman. Thank you.
Yeah. Hail for that.
You've created a few.

Speaker 9 Look,

Speaker 9 I don't want to make waves, but no one is going to love your child as much as you love your child. And no one is going to think your child is as cute as you think your child is as cute.

Speaker 9 Right. And like, of course, my parents would never, ever admit that there were, there was maybe the cutest baby out of the three.

Speaker 9 And I'm not saying that.

Speaker 9 Right. I'm not saying that because I'm self-absorbed.
I'm saying it because I peaked at age three. I looked like a Gerber baby.
I had like these big, massive blonde curls.

Speaker 9 My eyes were this big in my head. I was so like, I was just like the matching pink moment.
It only went downhill from there.

Speaker 9 My little sister came out of the womb looking like she'd been through Vietnam, like literally smashed eye her eye her tear duct was infected she had like a rash on her face okay like just just just had it like right i mean look it was a used womb it was a used birth canal it had already had two passes like that's so fair you know what i mean think about it like think about it she got like the slums of the womb like a side and and and she reminds us of it since like my sister is the reason why i also she i got god everyone's like oh you must be the funniest i am not even close to the funniest person in my family my sister and my brother take the cake.

Speaker 9 She's so funny, but she's like not. Like, my brother and I sucked all the energy out of the womb.
I don't know about like your kids, like, birth order.

Speaker 9 My sister's the youngest, and she was like, Well, I could never get a word in. Oh, y'all loud, like, y'all yelling and loud.

Speaker 9 So she is so like beaving keel, like Virgo, like, very like comical, collected, just like observant, very dry humor. She won't say a word and then just like end you with a two-word

Speaker 9 phrase. No, all my kids are savages.
Yeah. Every single one of them.
They are savage. I love them.
They humble me every day. And I just

Speaker 9 That's my sister literally. They're like a blessing and a curse because I'm not funny.
I have to like try to be funny and they're just naturally funny. And so I just love it so much.
I don't care.

Speaker 9 Like I should punish them for their slick mouth sometimes, but I can't because it's so funny. But it's so funny right now.

Speaker 9 Absolutely. You know, okay, you know the trend on TikTok that's like, oh, guys know the Roman, like, right, what, how often they think about the Roman Empire? Have you seen that?

Speaker 9 I just recently saw that. Okay, for people who don't know who are listening, like, basically,

Speaker 9 I don't know who did the original, right? Like, think piece or whatever, like, think talk on this, but just know it's now apparently established that none of the men have told any of us about.

Speaker 9 They apparently all think about the Roman Empire more often than should be reasonable for anyone interested.

Speaker 9 Really in any field ever, Infinity.

Speaker 9 It's just a bunch of girlfriends or girls or siblings, whatever, going up to like their dad dad or their boyfriend or whoever and going hey how many times a day do you think about the roman empire and every single one of them if you look it up on tick tock they're like a lot like i would say at least two or three like dead serious no dead serious

Speaker 9 and you're like right like they're like yeah every single day so so my sister it's like an example of her like humbling me

Speaker 9 yesterday we were like sitting in silence like literally just like sitting in silence she's like typing away she's she's going to grad school she's great she's gonna be a child speech pathologist like she's the coolest thing in the world.

Speaker 9 Typing away on her computer. And I'm like typing away doing work, dead silent.
All of a sudden, I just look up and I go, Hannah,

Speaker 9 remember when I dated that fucking loser? Like years ago, right? Like forever ago? And she just looks up without missing a beat, still tapping. She goes, That's my Roman Empire.

Speaker 9 And just keeps looking down. And I'm like,

Speaker 9 I'm like, fuck you.

Speaker 9 She's like, that's my Roman Empire.

Speaker 9 That's my Roman Empire. I was like,

Speaker 9 I was like, eight, eight.

Speaker 9 But then I started thinking about it. And I'm like, I, I'm like, wait, Hannah, I am so many men's Roman Empire.

Speaker 9 Like, I know. Like, I know that.

Speaker 9 I am. Absolutely sure.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 9 I just know, like, I know that I, I look,

Speaker 9 I think we should start that as a trend. Like, who, who is your Roman Empire? Who is your, that is a trend.
No, you need to start it because you just dubbed it like that. That is my Roman Empire.

Speaker 9 So you and Hannah have to do it. And I'm going to be the first one to like stitch it or whatever, like, do it next.
Amazing. Trends and I saw, I saw it.

Speaker 9 It was like, oh, what was the girl's version of the Roman Empire? And someone said, oh, like, thinking about our ex-best friend. I'm like, yeah, that's so fair.

Speaker 9 Like, oh, your ex-best friend, whatever. Why don't you think about them, though?

Speaker 9 See, but I think it depends. Like, it depends.
Like, like, some ex-best friends, it's like, right, like, that was a good run.

Speaker 9 You could have, I could have, like, a seven-year-old long-term relationship with a man and be like, what was his middle name again? Like, two months later.

Speaker 9 My, like, right, some of my best friends that I've had, like, through my life, like 20s, especially, if, you know, like, like, some friendships that have ended, just like kind of just ended, like, like it was just like time and place, whatever, like consumed me.

Speaker 9 I'm like devastated, right? Like worse than any breakup with a man. Yeah, because women's relationships are just so much more fulfilling.

Speaker 9 And I feel bad, you know, I feel bad for men because they don't have as fulfilling, I think, emotionally, right?

Speaker 9 Deeply friendships with other men that like women have, you know, like they had to make up something just to go on a walk with each other.

Speaker 9 Like just to go on a walk with, i told my other co-host that was she's like because i we were talking about lesbians and i was like you just don't understand that whole like it's just way deeper like if you think about your best girlfriend and then create that in like a romantic relationship right like a man could never compare ever in any way shape or form and it's not you know what's the word that they call us um misandry it's not even misandry it's just observation like

Speaker 9 like it's giving scientific method like like it's giving Oppenheimer. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 9 I sit back and observe. Right.
And I, and I deduce. And, you know, I think, what do you think your,

Speaker 9 I guess, and I'm asking you this only because, um,

Speaker 9 not because, like, my friend didn't tell me to ask you this, but my friend Nicole. immediately when she saw that I was coming on the podcast, she was like, oh my God, obsessed.
And I'm like, I'll say

Speaker 9 as if she even asked. And she was like, oh my God.
Yeah. So hi, Nicole.
Everyone says hi, Nicole. Love her.

Speaker 9 But circling back, circling back to like your teens,

Speaker 9 that I'm sure, you know, you're going to be running from for the rest of your life. Yeah, forever.

Speaker 9 What do you think is like your proudest decision that you made in your teens, starting from right, like

Speaker 9 however you want, 13 to 19? I'm parents to say because. And other than your kids, because like that's obvious, right? Like they're going to be.

Speaker 9 Oh my God, you're getting deep on me. Is this? I don't, wow.
Okay. The proudest decision that I made.
Jesus fucking Christ. Okay.

Speaker 9 One of the proud ones. It doesn't have to be proudest.
I won't hold you to it. But like, what are you, what are you looking at teen Kale for and going, fuck yeah, and hugging her and going, great job.

Speaker 9 I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 9 Graduating high school.

Speaker 9 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 9 Because

Speaker 9 I already had a child, but I was like, my end goal, like, I was like, I have to graduate. And then you were talking about you graduated what college in what, 2017? Yes.

Speaker 9 And I'm two years older than you, but it took me seven years to get a bachelor's degree. So I,

Speaker 9 you know what I mean? But

Speaker 9 you created a life. I created an alcohol dependency.
Like, we are not the same. I think graduating.
By the way, that was a joke. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 If people are offended at this point, I just can't, like, I just can't do that.

Speaker 9 It'll be reb and rehab, which kind of has a nice ring to it. I mean, it's a writer about that.

Speaker 9 I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine Podcast, where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond.

Speaker 9 I'm talking guests like Jonathan Vaness,

Speaker 9 Nikki Glazer, Wells Adams, Elise Myers. Just like in this like business jacket, like I would love some tacos.

Speaker 9 Heidi D'Amilio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're going to get through it.
But I do. And so many more.

Speaker 9 So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions, and get a little vulnerable because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together.

Speaker 9 Follow, rate, and review Off the Vine podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Speaker 9 Honestly, academic feats are

Speaker 9 nobody can take them away from you. No one can take it away from you.
It's what you did. And

Speaker 9 everyone's academic achievements should not be weighed against or leveled against what we think of as like, right, like the baseline for like what's the most difficult or like the least difficult, right?

Speaker 9 The most

Speaker 9 medical, super hard, like least difficult, like GED community college. No.
No.

Speaker 9 The context of everyone's lives, your personal life, your daily life, the things that you cannot plan for, the variables that are thrown in, thrown at you like whiplash,

Speaker 9 just making it through high school intact and studying and getting grades and doing everything that people who have nothing better to do

Speaker 9 but be teenagers and go to high school.

Speaker 9 Like it's.

Speaker 9 I'm so that's, I mean, I wasn't like judging your answer, but oh no, I didn't think you were judging.

Speaker 9 I just, I didn't know what I was, I didn't, I wasn't prepared for that question, but I do think that was like a monumental moment for me because I didn't know if I would go back.

Speaker 9 I mean, because I had my son in the middle of my senior year, so I just didn't know if I was gonna like what, you know what I mean? Yeah, oh,

Speaker 9 I watched, I was there

Speaker 9 when no, truly, I was just never more inspired than when I entered law school and looked around the room

Speaker 9 and saw

Speaker 9 it wasn't like, oh, like you went to like the fucking scrub lot, like, you know, the leftover law school.

Speaker 9 I'm like, I went to a great, fantastic law school with people who worked their asses off to get there. There were single moms.

Speaker 9 And I'm not just saying this as like, oh, there was one single mom in a class, whatever.

Speaker 9 I was the minority in the sense that I was one of the few, maybe like five, five people in like my little like 50 section. And then it's like 260 class.

Speaker 9 It was probably like, what, 30, 40 of us that had gone straight from college, like at right directly to 22, went to college. And then 22 start, like, I started law school literally at 22.

Speaker 9 i thought oh that sounds like like the normal track you know like i don't know i was trying to get it over with like whatever

Speaker 9 i you roll up and they're like hi baby like they're like hi you're so little and i'm like watch your mouth like you know what i mean they're like oh you look like you look like you just came from a frat party you look like you're gonna fail this exam like i yeah yeah yeah talk there was chat but like it was so lovely honestly because Everyone asks me thousands of DMs, comments all the time, like, is it too late for me?

Speaker 9 I'm 35. Like, you know, I just quit my job or like, you know, my kids, I just had a baby, or like, I'm literally, I just got pregnant in law school.
What do I do? There was a woman who had,

Speaker 9 I like, literally can't.

Speaker 9 There was a woman in my law school class who had her goddamn baby and literally posted a photo like of her with her laptop during law school, like literally had her baby during law school with her laptop, like open, like during like labor.

Speaker 9 And she was like full beat, like full beat, like lashes on, like literally like doing the damn thing. I'm like, I'm like, and she graduated, graduated, like she's a like, she did it.
She did it.

Speaker 9 And yes, it's kiddressing. She was horrible.
Horrible in the sense like it was, it was so hard. And you have to have emotional, you know, the discipline, people support, loving support.

Speaker 9 But, but honest to God, like, I was a TA, you know, like teacher assistant when I was like second year, third year. Um, and it was,

Speaker 9 you drop any judgment. or assumptions based on age because like I could never guess anyone's age.

Speaker 9 I'm like, you could be 40 or you could be 25 and you would, you're, you know, you're still younger than me in school, so like, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't matter to me, like, I don't care.

Speaker 9 And they would, you know, they talk to me like they're like, oh, yeah, I have a wife and seven kids. I'm like, I thought you were, I thought you were 26.
You will fit right in.

Speaker 9 I mean, I mean that in the sense that, like, you are not going to be like some red herring, like, like, everyone look at

Speaker 9 God.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Thank, like,

Speaker 9 when you do it, thank God for our legal field being

Speaker 9 becoming diverse, becoming more diverse. It is so

Speaker 9 milk, cricket, pasty, white, no purpose flower.

Speaker 9 It is so white men across the board and then also just like white women across the board to the extent, you know, obviously like women, yes, sexism rampant, but like it's better to be a white woman than it is to be, I can't even imagine, like truly

Speaker 9 a woman of color

Speaker 9 or or like truly, and I consider too in the legal field absolutely a to be diverse is to also be, I mean, yes, everyone's gonna go, duh, Reb, but like you don't, you don't get it.

Speaker 9 Like to be diverse is not only to just be a woman, but also to be like Jewish. There's still

Speaker 9 still discrimination based on that in this field, even though, right, the stereotypical jokes are like, oh, like Jewish attorneys, oh no, like they experience that.

Speaker 9 Also single moms, moms who get pregnant and want to make partner, but the maternity leave is so awful that they, right, like literally have to choose between having a child and raising their kid over.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 But I, you know, like obviously not every firm is like that they got but it's just so like inspiring to see such a wave of people come in with me back in 20 you know we graduated in 2020 those people are all practicing now right they're all out there like or if they're not practicing right they're they're lawyers like they got their JD like amazing it's just you know strength in numbers power in numbers and also strength and eventually certain

Speaker 9 demographics in power are getting a little old, right?

Speaker 9 They might be kicking some buckets soon, which will be great. Which will be good.
We're like, not to brand anyone's downfall, but that might be a pivotal moment for everybody.

Speaker 9 That's my thing is that people be like, you're ageist. I'm like, no, I'm not.
I'm a realist. Why in the frick frog pattywhack would a man who got to vote on desegregation of schools at 30

Speaker 9 back then

Speaker 9 still get to decide, now get to decide whether or not a woman makes a partner. Something tells me you can't teach an old dog new tricks, right? Like, I have no interest in educating these people

Speaker 9 when, when it's to the point, right, like when they're like, you, you, everyone has a family member like this, right? Like, oh, grandma, like, she never

Speaker 9 politically, right? Like, she's never politically correct.

Speaker 9 Like, you know, you're not gonna get into a think piece with your grandma at the dinner table about why her making a comment is inappropriate, right?

Speaker 9 You just drink your wine and say, that's nice, grandma, and like, keep it moving. That's how, how I feel about

Speaker 9 the very, very, very old attorneys

Speaker 9 in this field. Some of them are fantastic.
Shockingly, one of them was pushing 80. My

Speaker 9 adored him. Wow, I love him.

Speaker 9 He was like, I just love women in this field. Y'all are smarter.
Y'all are better. And I was like,

Speaker 9 I'm like, I understand this man. We love him.
Right. And look, like, I was also like working on his cases.
Like, definitely prioritized his stuff for a reason.

Speaker 9 But, but, you know, like, it's all to say that, that

Speaker 9 you can do it. And it's not just because I'd blow smoke if I didn't think you could.
I'd be like, so we should cut this part.

Speaker 9 Don't

Speaker 9 take up paralegal. That's, you know, stop the career right there.

Speaker 9 People start practicing at 40. Like I love that.

Speaker 9 Literally. So, you know, and I think, you know, why not get yourself

Speaker 9 some of the legal skills that you and your four attorneys have have.

Speaker 9 They don't know each other, unfortunately, but

Speaker 9 I learned something different from all of them. And I love that.
So yeah, no, I because I do I do like some trademark stuff. So I'm like, oh yeah, trademarks are like completely different.

Speaker 9 Like I do, I do it when it like when it not like the

Speaker 9 like, yes, like we do like the registering license thing, but like if it comes to like, oh shit, like someone's challenging it, whatever, they throw it to trial. So I'm like, hi.

Speaker 9 And I'm like, thank you. And like, you know, figure it out.
But but then it's like trademark is completely different than civil and completely different than criminal.

Speaker 9 Obviously, it's completely different than IP. It's completely different, like, you know, like the patents and things like that.
It's completely different than entertainment. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 9 Like, well, that's my attorney. My favorite attorney of of all time that I've ever worked with is my entertainment attorney.
She is fantastic. Yeah, they're great.

Speaker 9 I mean, I got my own entertainment attorney because I was like, yeah, I didn't go to the other side. You have to at this point.
Yeah, yeah, because people are like, oh, you're an attorney.

Speaker 9 That's so great. You can link your own stuff.
I'm like, do you think that I want to put my life in my hands when I already, like, I am paid to have anxiety for other people's lives?

Speaker 9 I don't have time to have anxiety for my own. I want a fresh pair of eyes on this.
I don't want, like, I want, I would, like, all I want to do. I'm like, I'm an attorney.

Speaker 9 I would love to pay someone to do my job, like, literally, that I do for other people.

Speaker 9 And so, I, you know, and entertainment law is very like niche, as you know, like, it's niche in the sense that, yes, I could do it, but like, I have to also learn,

Speaker 9 you have to learn stuff as you go, you have to practice, quite literally, practice. Um, like, we know what's like, like, normal in the industry in terms of like contracts and like all the stuff.
And

Speaker 9 so, you know, I trust her with my life. She was also like stunningly beautiful, gorgeous.
Like, look, I was like, so you don't model? Why? I was like, well, like, are you a model and an attorney?

Speaker 9 I'm like, you could do both. You could do both.

Speaker 9 Yeah, she was great. So that was my first, like, she, yeah, helped me out.
And now, you know, now I have an agent who can do that for me. Right.

Speaker 9 And honestly, my lawyer skills just come in handy mostly against like clapping back against men online.

Speaker 9 Can you clap back to some men that come at that come for me as well? I'm not as good as clapping. For free, I will, I will

Speaker 9 like negative dollar. Like you, I will Venmo you just to have the chance, just to have the chance.

Speaker 9 I cannot, um, like, like, like, and it's also like, you know, the dudes in the comments who like respond to each other. Like, like, go somewhere, go, definitely.
I'm like, you are

Speaker 9 two prums trying to make a meal. Like, let's like bring it somewhere else.
Like, oh, like,

Speaker 9 I said, I said, I think I posted, I don't know, I was like some dumb, you know, like the fresh and fit podcast, like some misogyny, you know, like a man with a bad hairline podcast who's like, Women, he said something, he was like,

Speaker 9 Women are females, are deceptive, like their nature is to be deceptive, right? That you don't know when they're on their period, you don't know when they're in heat.

Speaker 9 He literally said, You don't know when they're in heat, so like they're you don't know if they're attracted to you or not. Like, you have to play the game, like, women are gonna lie to you.

Speaker 9 I stitch it, and I was like,

Speaker 9 King,

Speaker 9 just because the inside of your skull sounds like an Applebee's hot fajita skillet doesn't not mean that anyone is in heat around you. Okay, I know it's buzzing in there.

Speaker 9 You can barely get a word out.

Speaker 9 What the f- Like imagine, no, but like imagine a man looking you dead in the eyes and be like, when are you? Like, I don't know when you're in heat. Okay, are we hedgehogs? Like,

Speaker 9 are we

Speaker 9 stray cats? Like, I don't know what's going on here.

Speaker 9 Just for people who don't know who you are, where can people people follow you um so they can go follow your tick tock instagram wherever you whatever you want to plug

Speaker 9 you can follow me at reb mazel on tick tock r-e-b-m-a-s-e-l it's the same handle for tick tock for instagram for twitter um i have a podcast called the rebuttal podcast it is my

Speaker 9 lord it's my baby my child the the life that i birthed okay um i talk about cases calamity and everything in between that happens in the courtroom and out cases that you haven't heard about.

Speaker 9 If you don't like true crime, listen to it. You might like it now because it's not like normal, trashy true crime.
No, it's the best.

Speaker 9 It's fun. If you love true crime, head on over.

Speaker 9 And if you hate all of those things, then just like

Speaker 9 live your life and keep listening. Keep listening to Barely Famous because that is also what I am.

Speaker 9 Send off. Cue the music.
Thank you so much for coming on Barely Famous.

Speaker 9 And and thank you for having me keep me posted on your book when your book comes out because I'm keep me posted on your graduation or like law school situation. Well I need to pass the LSAT first.

Speaker 9 Thank you Rev. Thank you so much Gail.
I love you. I love you

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I'm free for Jersey Shore. Love and Hip Hop, I'm free all day.

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Speaker 20 With hundreds of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV.

Speaker 9 Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

Speaker 14 Ever wonder where that cool product you just discovered on Amazon actually came from? Chances are, it's from an independent seller.

Speaker 14 They actually make up more than 60% of everything sold in Amazon's store. We are talking about real entrepreneurs building their dreams, one sale at a time.
These aren't massive corporations.

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Speaker 14 So, next time you're shopping, think small. Check out amazon.com/slash support small.

Speaker 2 Dashing through the store, Dave's looking for a gift. One you can't ignore, but not the socks he picks.
I know, I'm putting them back. Hey, Dave, here's a tip: put scratchers on your list.

Speaker 3 Oh, scratchers, good idea.

Speaker 2 It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.
Thanks, random singing people. So be like Dave this holiday and give the gift of play.
Scratchers from the California lottery.

Speaker 2 A little play can make your day.

Speaker 3 Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase play or claim.