Cheating, Ego, and Redemption: Rico Hundo Gets Called Out

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Welcome to the shit show.

Things are going to get weird.

It's your fae villain, Kale Lower.

And you're listening to Barely Famous.

Happy Friday.

Welcome to another episode of Barely Famous Podcast.

We have Rico Hundo back

on site.

Barely Famous.

Barely Famous Podcast.

All right.

We were, before we started recording, I asked you how your daughter was.

We have children roughly around the same age.

You came on the podcast before, I think, when she was like a newborn.

Was she?

Yeah, maybe.

I think you had just had her.

Yeah.

And I asked you if you were in a relationship then.

You said yes.

And then I just asked you now if you're still with her and you said yes.

That's what?

five years yeah five years yeah and you're committed you're not cheating on her no no not anymore not anymore but you were I did and how did that work out for you

um

I mean

see I think our situation is a little bit different

because we had just got together and the baby came literally like we made it official I would say two months prior to her pregnancy.

Okay.

Like the way I am, I'm very planned and detailed with everything.

You didn't want kids though, right?

At first, no, no, I did.

I actually planned on having kids maybe about nine months after or ten months after we got together.

I was like, one year, Mark, then we can start to have a have a family.

I already had that planned, yeah.

Um, but that happened super early, okay.

And because of that, and it was during COVID,

um, I had five stores, so I was already like overwhelmed with business, so I kind of didn't want it at that point in time.

I wanted the stores to kind of settle down, I didn't have have to fly every single

place before I actually, you know, had a family.

And I think because of that, I had so much chaos at that time because now I have five stores.

I have my podcast.

I have all these other different businesses plus a family.

And I had a little bit of

resentment.

I had a little bit of resentment because she didn't stick to the plan.

Which was what?

The plan was to not have any kids anytime.

You had control over that.

You could have pulled out.

No, well, the thing is, we had an agreement.

So we had an agreement.

But you didn't follow the agreement right off the bat.

No, no, no.

I definitely did.

So you used protection?

No.

Did you get a vasectomy?

No, the agreement was.

That you didn't pull out.

No, the agreement was very simple.

I'm not going to use condom.

So

we have two options.

We either don't have sex or you take the morning after pill.

That's going to be the agreement.

But you're not going to pull out.

No.

Either we don't have sex rico look

i think this is pretty much clear right no why not so she is you are placing all of the blame on her for getting pregnant basically and keeping the baby when you had the ability to get a vasectomy use condoms pull out but she didn't want to go on birth control okay and that's her right okay so then neither is pulling out let me just tell you something as a woman i do not want someone to nut in me because it smells like dead bodies after a couple hours.

So you are not, nobody's nutting in me, right?

Like, well, I mean, that didn't work out for me very well, did it?

But that was all committing, committed relationships.

But what I'm saying is, if I am newly in a relationship and that is the plan for us to not get pregnant, I'm not letting him nut in me either.

Yeah, but it's not about that, right?

So now you're taking it from a perspective where you feel as if you only have one option.

The other option is we practice celibacy.

And I'm perfectly fine with either or.

So I gave you an option.

You chose to pick an option.

So hold on.

I believe in choice, right?

So if I give you an option to choose, all right, cool.

I'm going to take the morning after pill after we have sex.

We just can't have sex every single day because you're not going to be taking the morning after pill every single day, right?

Now you have that option and you're obligated and bound to your word.

Once I give you the opportunity to choose, I'm expecting you to act upon your choice.

Now, if you go outside of that choice, that's when betrayal happens, right?

And that's when it's like well why would you do this because if that was the case you've actually technically robbed me of the opportunity of not even doing this to begin with right so that's what was the resentment that was the point where it's like well why would you it kind of felt like a setup why would you tell me one thing and then do the other so that's why it ended up becoming that way so in the whole pregnancy was like it was chaotic for us right because i was upset about it so i wasn't treating her the best during her pregnancy.

And then,

you know, at some point in time, I had to understand, like, listen, that's not the way, you know, you go about it.

It is what it is.

You have to accept it for what it was.

But deep down inside, there was a part of me that questioned, why would she tell me one thing and do the other, right?

And that lasted, I would say, about a year or so.

At that point in time, I wasn't being faithful.

You know?

My first question is, why was the choice solely on her to decide whether she was going to take the morning after pill or not?

Why wasn't it on you to say, I am going to pull out or I'm going to use condoms?

Because we all know that you guys don't like to do that.

But why, why not just put the future in your own hands?

Like you could have prevented that your own self.

Well, I believe that when we have conversations with individuals, we tend to say, listen, and this is actually funny because when you think about business and the history, especially in America, right?

If you do business overseas, it's a little bit different.

But when you do business back in the day, you can actually have a a handshake deal.

That means you are a person of integrity.

You are a person who honors your word.

You are a person who honors your commitment, whatever that commitment may be, right?

Nowadays, we need contracts.

We need NDAs.

We need all these different things in place because people do not honor their word.

People will give you their word on one thing and then no longer be bound by it.

Now, for me, I'm a person that if I give you my word, I'm going to honor my word.

And I tend to feel as if I can read people well.

And when I get into into business or into anything with somebody, when they give me their word and I decide to do or go forward with them, that's a person that I personally believe is going to honor their word.

So when you entered into this relationship with her and you made it

permanent, you were official with her two months prior to the pregnancy.

By doing that, you gave her your word that you were going to be faithful and then did not follow through with that.

So what does that say about you?

Well, I felt like what happened, well, and I feel like what actually happened was the way I felt was like, well, if you betrayed me, it's nothing for me to betray you, which is spite.

And it's not good.

And I'm not saying that that's okay, right?

But there was spite, but there's a cause and effect for everything.

And as a human being, we have to understand that how you do some, what you do to me can cause a different reaction.

Now, I could have left.

Now, if this wasn't a thing where it was

If this was more so infidelity, then maybe I would have just left.

But now we have a more intricate situation where you have a child involved.

And although my feelings and my emotions were like, I don't trust this person enough to be with this person to work these things out, because this person can tell me one thing that's going to ultimately affect my entire life and

not honor their own word, it made me question the longevity of being with this person.

However, when you have a kid, at some point in time, you have to say, you know what?

What's more important?

You know, seeing things through and potentially potentially giving that opportunity, that second chance opportunity of this person could grow into a better person.

And hopefully, you know, we can have that family together.

Because at the end of the day, especially black kids, we're growing up with so many broken households over one, you know, one decision that was made that was not necessarily in the other person's favor.

Now, for me, I'm all about trying to figure it out now.

So can I push through this?

Can I feel,

can I push through this?

Can I let go of my feelings and the promises that I made to myself of what I will and will not tolerate

for the sake of not just me, but our family, our unit, you know, and that's where it was.

So, I mean, at the end of the day, in the beginning, was I being spiteful?

Yeah.

And I had a choice to make.

And once I let go of that spite, you know, I did come clean about everything that I did throughout that process of filling that moment.

I don't delete anything in my phone.

I said, listen, here's what.

You told her you cheated on her?

I told her I came clean about everything.

But I asked you, did you tell her you cheated on her?

I didn't tell her initially, right?

Okay.

So somebody else brought it to her attention.

Okay.

And then

that person, I said, you know what?

You know, that's not the only situation that has happened.

You know, and if we're going to push forward, if you're going to actually work and try to forgive me, there's going to be no skeletons in my closet.

And so I don't delete anything in my phone, both of my phones, here are my phones.

You let her go through your phones.

She had them for like days because there was a lot in there, you know.

The whole come and clean process happened years after the fact, maybe a year.

So a year or two.

You had cheated on her multiple times, and you didn't come clean about it for years.

Yeah, so can you, can you walk me through from a man's perspective, the decision-making behind one, cheating on her and two, not telling her for years?

Well, can you love someone and still cheat on them?

Of course, Of course.

Right.

Well, the first thing I would say, and I don't want to say in my defense, but part of the situations that happened, we had broken up for like two weeks at a time.

And although technically that's not cheating, those two week periods is when I would go out and do whatever I did.

But we still lived together, even though we were broken up.

Right.

So

it's still like cheating, but it's not, right?

For sure.

Technically, it's not.

That's what my ex used to do to me.

So I recognize that.

And before we started.

But I was the one that never broke up.

She would break up with me.

Because you were doing dog shit.

No, no, no.

She would break up with me because we get into an argument.

This is like, I don't know, da-da-da.

I'm like, all right, cool, fine.

So then I was like, that was a green light.

For me, don't break up with me if you don't expect me to do anything in any time frame.

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You would have thought about it?

Of course.

Walk me through that way, right?

Like this woman.

of course.

Because every man thinks about cheating.

No, they don't.

Yes.

No, they don't.

No matter how often you are.

Wait, hold on.

Ladies.

No matter how long.

None of you here are a man.

No, but I have been.

I have been on both sides.

Like, let me explain something.

I have been on both sides, right?

I've been a cheater and I've been cheated on.

And every single time that I have cheated in my lifetime, which was not very often,

I knew it was wrong in the pit of my stomach.

Okay.

The entire act that ensued.

I knew it was wrong.

I did it anyway.

And that was my real, my realization every single time that I knew that person was not for me because I was capable of cheating on them.

For men

was for you because you were capable to feel that it was wrong.

Right.

If you can cheat on somebody and feel nothing, that's when you realize that person is not for you.

If you cheat on somebody because you're making a terrible decision at that point in time for whatever your justifications are, but you now morally feel bad because you actually genuinely care about the person you're with.

Maybe that's actually the right person because you care enough to say that, hey, I'm doing something wrong versus, hey, I did something, whatever it is.

I just have, I think I just have morals as a human being.

Well, those are morals, not as a human being.

Those are morals as a society, right?

A societal, a current timeframe, right?

Because at one point, there was no real attachment to cheating.

I mean, if you actually look at it,

the stats of cheating is relatively new in terms of how long people have been in existence, right?

Cheating is what, maybe about 200 years old, 150 years old, it's relatively new to the way humanity used to operate for millennia.

Because you're saying that they're not meant to be monogamous.

We never were.

I agree with that and I always have, but I feel like monogamy in your lifetime versus monogamy with the person that you are committed to are two very different things.

So when I enter a relationship, there is an expectation that we are going to be monogamous with each other.

But in my lifetime, I'm not monogamous.

I'm not a monogamous human being.

I've been with multiple people.

That to me is true.

But I feel like that's also the societal standard, right?

So while you were

cheating on her, did you feel bad?

The times that I actually cheated, and I would say I cheated where like I didn't, where you didn't break up with me, we didn't speak to each other and walk past each other in the house for seven, 10 days.

Those times I didn't feel bad.

So I'm like, in my mind,

again, I hold you to your word.

So if you're saying you're done and you're leaving and you're moving on, in my mind, you are.

So I'm preparing for the same exact thing.

Right.

So at those points in times, no, I did not feel bad.

Right.

I felt bad once we got back together.

And I'm like, well, damn, should I actually say what I did during this break?

Did you?

No, not initially.

But the times that I did cheat, where I knew I cheated out of spite, those times I felt bad.

Has she ever cheated on you?

I mean, not that I know of.

Is it possible?

Women, they say women cheat better than men.

Because we're smarter.

Not smarter.

It's just.

We are smarter.

You're not smarter at all.

We are.

And you have a daughter, so you should know.

My daughter is not smarter than me either.

Never will be.

Where do you get some of

your

ideations and your misogynist outlook on life?

Where does it come from?

It's not misogynist.

It's actually not.

We went through the definition already, and I think it's very important for people to study etymology, right?

So when we study etymology, we know that the actual,

the actual origin and root of words.

And I think it's important to understand the root of life, which is where my ideologies come from.

They come from the root, not the

new trend of what we're supposed to feel or believe, what we're supposed to identify, what we're supposed to accept.

Because obviously, if I can take you from here in America and I take you to Dubai or I take you to Europe, it doesn't matter, Switzerland,

the norms and what is accepted, the social, what is accepted socially differ.

Right?

Right.

So what that means is,

where do we get to a point or how do we get to a point where we become so small-minded where we literally think that anything that's opposite of what we think is wrong, right?

Because there's, think about how many things have changed in the last

30, 40 years since we've probably all, or maybe some people, 20 years, since we've all been here in this world.

Not much a lot i remember when i went

when i went to high school you could smack a girl's ass and it wasn't a problem now that's a salt it should be it should always be assault i'm not saying that it shouldn't be what i'm saying is that look at how life has changed understand that things are changing while in real time while you are alive some are in your benefit some may not be right look at what's happening with food at one point in time 50 60 years ago putting these chemicals in food was not okay now now it is okay look at everything that is changing so when you want to talk about ideologies we have to look at what is the whole bigger picture but you don't think some of these these ideologies and your your outlook is very outdated and very misogynistic for what used to be where the men the men hold you know the they work they provide they do x y and z for their families and their wives like you remind me of someone who expects a woman to stay in the kitchen and to keep their mouth shut and to not cheat and to honor their word, even though you're not honoring yours.

That's the type of person.

That's true, because I also, I also love the fact that a woman can become wealthy on her own.

My mom is a single parent who has five degrees and I watched a woman do it.

I think the problem is that I expect women to be more equal than they want to be.

That's why I think the problem is because if I say, hey, listen, if I believe in 50-50, now I am no, now I'm a...

brokey or I'm a roommate or I'm all these different things.

I actually believe that the floor should be open for you to reach your full potential but understand your full potential doesn't mean you could dictate doesn't dictate how you treat another individual doesn't dictate how you look at a man any less or a woman any less i actually believe a hundred percent opposite i would love for my woman to work i would love for my woman to be the breadwinner i am not insecure about that in any way shape or form if you're

is she your girlfriend wife yeah yeah fiancé no we're not married yet yet okay so your you know your partner partner, if she made more money than you and she was the breadwinner and the sole provider and all of those things, you would be 100% okay with that.

I would prefer it.

I would prefer it.

And I've always have.

I said this numerous different times.

Any man who's not okay with a woman making the same or more than him is just a man who's in a power-tripping position.

He's an insecure man, and he feels like that's the only thing that brings him value.

Some of the things you say also suggest that you

suggest that.

Like

you said a girl who has a thousand followers or less, and she's an eight is like finding the Virgin Mary, right?

Like, what you're saying, I don't think necessarily aligns.

Well, I think well, now we have to move that poll up.

The thousand is like you know, nowadays, everybody has followers, and I don't even know how they're getting them.

But, yes, at one point in time,

right, because the number, the numerics, but yes, I do think that a woman who has not been tainted by popularity and is also beautiful is a gift.

So someone like me is what, not worthy?

For who?

For me?

I don't want to be with you.

So then doesn't matter.

But I'm asking you based on what you're saying.

So

what's an eight to you?

Like physically or?

I don't know.

What did you mean by that?

I meant physically if she's cute, if she's an eight, like she's solid.

You know what I'm saying?

Like a lot of times we got to,

we get to this point, right, where we think or believe, either or,

that

exposure does not alter us.

Okay.

Right?

Okay.

So it does, as you and I know that.

And it does, right?

100%.

It alters people's personalities, their ego.

It can alter their lifestyles.

And that's the problem that I have with it because at one point in time, it altered me.

Right.

And I had to, I literally had to lose in order to be like, okay, hold on.

This is just glamour and lights.

You still have to remember who you are at your core while you navigate through whatever it is that I was doing.

Right.

A lot of people can't do that.

A lot of people fall victim to that.

And so popularity has become, especially to this day and age where you have social media where popularity seems to be their only justifying reason to have value.

But yet they're not making money.

That doesn't mean that they're good people.

Are you making money, Rico?

Who me yeah yeah i haven't had a job since 2016 or 17.

how do you make your money i buy bookings i'm on con i'm contracting on a couple different shows i get booked every single month and i've been getting booked

but i but i also did you get paid for game of clones i never asked you that you did yeah

you know funny story about that right for those of you guys who are new here rico and i did a dating show together and um he was the one that i like picked or whatever is like the winner um i just want to know that.

And then she comes over here and thinks I'm misogynist.

You are, but now look at how I've grown.

Cause in that show, you haven't.

In that show, I said, You can't go through my phone.

Remember that?

Now, my girl could go through my phone.

Oh, my,

it's all about compromise.

I think that was like seven-ish years ago, six years ago.

So, you made this much progress.

Like, that's all that is.

It's moving the needle.

I wish I had a shock collar here and I'd wrap it around his neck.

Next time you come on this podcast, I'm bringing the shock collar.

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So first, let me ask you this.

What was the deciding factor for you and your girlfriend to stay together after you came clean about all of your cheating?

Well, it was...

I mean, that's a question you would have to ask her.

Like, she decided that?

Yeah, she decided that.

I mean, she made some, um, she had some new requirements

to go forward.

Um, for example, like she didn't want any secrets between us or any restrictions.

So, like, for example, she said, you know, I want to know everything, so here's access to it.

I want to continue to have open transparency.

So, my passcodes have never changed, but she knows them.

You know what I'm saying?

Obviously, if I lose my phone, I don't want anybody to go through it, so I'm never not going to have a passcode on it.

But if she decides to pick up my phone, she can.

And I actually, it's actually more of

a lightweight now, you know, because back then.

It's a lot of work to cheat.

It is.

You got to be really good.

That's why, you know, that's why you got away with it for so long.

But I still could, right?

But I just choose not to.

It's all a choice.

I know.

Like,

I know that.

But so that was more so all her.

So she had some different things.

She wanted to basically be able to have access to whatever I have access to.

She wanted open transparency on that, which is fine.

You know what I'm saying?

So, what was the turning point for you to

agree to those as a compromise?

Like, what changed in you that you were like, okay, I'm willing to do those things now versus in the beginning?

Um, I don't think it's that something changed, I think it's just the simple fact that, see, growing up with a single parent is not good

because you're easy to say, I could live without, and I realized that I had that problem

because I could live without.

I have with her, without her, you mean anybody or anything, right?

Any opportunity, I've always created another one, any woman I've always replaced with the same or better, right?

Anything I've always been able to find the same or better.

I have never regressed at any point in my life.

So, um, I didn't want to have my kid

have the same mindset that people and situations are disposable because you can replace them.

Okay, so how do you teach your daughter this now when it took you having her and, you know, her being almost four years old for you to come to these realizations?

Like, how do you balance that?

And how will you teach your daughter?

Would you want your daughter to date someone like you?

Of course.

Of course, 100%.

I would

see the thing is

for my daughter to date somebody like me.

Now, obviously, with my situation, I feel it was a little bit different because that's the first time I moved out of spite.

But I also do know I moved out of spite for numerous reasons.

Not just her and my situation with her, but the situations that I was facing at that time and the adversity.

I mean, I was 25 years old.

I was making a million dollars in six months every year.

for four years straight, my company, right?

And now I'm growing and I'm learning because I don't don't know everything that I'm, I'm getting thrown in a fire and I'm having a lot of success, but I'm having a lot of expenses.

You know, you have overhead where you, you have to, but people don't understand like when you're an actual boss and you're taking care of people's families, like some people are only eating because you're paying them, right?

And they're, and they have kids.

But that doesn't justify or like.

have anything to do with cheating.

No, no, no, no.

But when what I'm saying is now when you have to cut back and you have to fire somebody, and it's not because they did a bad job, it's because you can't afford to keep them afloat.

And you're, you have people that are crying in front of you, saying, Hey, I need this opportunity, I can't feed my children without it.

And you're starting to see all these psychological things that weigh on you as a boss, especially when your business is now declining, right?

And your expenses are over.

And then now, I have on top of that, we have COVID.

Like, this was all during COVID, by the way.

So, I'm having so many different things, and I have lawsuits.

I'm getting sued by Canada Goose.

This is $100,000 here.

I have so many different moving pieces and why were you sued so i was sued because our logo was a circle no it was a circle and our name has goose in it that was it really what happened was we were taking over the the luxury winter coat and and furs uh industry so fast so rapidly that if you typed in canada goose on google we'd pop up first and we weren't paying for advertisement right so now what happens is what when they got whiff of that, they're like, what we're going to do is we're going to try to sue you.

We're going to try to block your trademark.

We're going to drag it out in legal fees because a lot of people can't with hopefully withstand all those, right?

But I was going through that process as well.

So

when I'm having a lot of these different other issues outside of my relationship, and then I wanted my relationship or every man, I would say every person wants their relationship to be that grounding space.

And now I'm now dealing with this situation where i felt like i could trust you and you're the shoulder i could lean on and for me you pulled your shoulder under from underneath me and now not only did you do that but now you're bringing in a kid which you know now is what seven we found out when she was already two months pregnant so seven months out and i'm still trying to figure out how i'm going to maintain business and now you're bringing and now i got to figure out how i'm going to take care of a family i'm watching my business decline I'm watching, and I'm trying to get everything afloat while going through COVID and navigate through this.

So in in that moment, I felt like you don't care enough about stability, right?

And or my mental health because I'm confiding into you about all the issues that is going on in my life day to day.

So

at that point in time, I felt like it bred spite.

Now, outside of that situation, I've always been 100% with women since I was 21 years old.

And my mother told me, listen, don't argue with women.

just be honest tell them that you're not going to be faithful tell them that you're going to want more than one before i started dating my girl i told her if you want to be with me understand i want two wives this is something that i've been upfront about to this day you want two wives well that was part of the things that i had to get rid of to continue to move forward right

so what i'm saying

so

wait wait wait hold on hold on i want to answer the question right i don't want to lose it so moral of the story is

outside of the situation where I was being spiteful and I did not do what I typically do, I'm a man of my word.

But you're not.

No, no, I am.

Because a man of their word does not simply act out of spite simply because someone else didn't follow their word.

And when you have integrity and morals, regardless of how people treat you, you are still going to be the person that you've always been, which is you claim to be a man of your word.

So, regardless of what people do to you, you should still be that person.

No, and I, and I agree 100%, but that doesn't mean that you're perfect, right?

So there's agreed.

So there's going to be times and situations.

If I could say I'm 90% and 10%, I'm cool, even 80, 20, 80% of the times I'm a man of my word and 20% of the times I'm not for whatever the reason situation may be, whatever I might deem as justifiable, I can live with that.

And if you ask me, do I want a man to be that way with my daughter?

100%.

If a man is going to say, hey, listen, I want two wives.

do you want to be one of them that's my daughter's decision if a man is going to give my daughter the power of choice from the very beginning then i'll respect them you know i would want her to have that whether or not i agree with her being to the second or the fourth wife doesn't matter it's not my life to live but don't rob my child of her choice that's the that's the most important thing for me but you you robbed her mother of the choice for some time she robbed me too no you robbed her.

You robbed each other.

It was so much more.

And I'm kind of just keeping it surface level, but it started with that.

It was actually three things.

It was like, boom, boom, boom.

And I'm like, whoa, no.

Here's the thing, though.

You don't know how you are going to react to something or how your feelings will change until you are physically put in that position.

Right.

So my ex and I, you know, I've talked to you about him before.

We, we had those conversations in the beginning of our relationship where we talked about having kids.

And he said, you know, on when I turn this year, I don't know how old, 27, whatever it was at the time, we can talk about kids.

Okay, well, he also had the choice and the ability to pull out.

He didn't.

We got pregnant, took plan B, still ended up pregnant.

To me,

I didn't know how we were going to handle, neither one of us knew how we were going to handle that situation until we were physically in it.

Right.

So she could have said, okay, you know, I'll take a plan B.

And then she realized once she was already pregnant or once you guys already had sex, I don't know if I would want, I maybe want this baby.

Like I maybe want a life with you.

And so her feelings change just like that.

And so I think that there is a difference between saying you're going to do something and holding your word and then something actually happening where you're put in that position is very different.

It's not like me saying, Rico, we're going to start a business together.

And now you have my word that we're going to start this business together.

It's like.

there's a life being created here.

So it's a life altering thing.

The business that we start, we said we were going to start is not life altering.

And I agree, but that's the same.

It goes on both sides of the coin.

So you have to understand that when you're doing something that affects somebody else, you don't know how that person is going to respond.

And neither do they.

I can exactly say, you know what?

I've been a man of my word majority of my adulthood.

But at this point in time, this has affected me to a point where I don't feel like I even want to speak to you or be honest with you anymore.

And I never saw that coming.

And in myself, I got the name Hundo because I was always keeping it 100.

That's exactly how I got

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The mentality that you have, and I just can't understand it.

I don't understand your

ideas.

I don't understand your mentality.

I don't understand your thought process.

I understand absolutely nothing.

That's okay, though.

That's not, you know, I don't think that we need to understand everything about everyone.

No, I agree, but like, I don't know how you get to some of your conclusions.

But I don't know.

You don't use logic.

No, sure.

Actually, 100% logic.

So, like, I can say this.

I don't get how we can understand that monogamy is not natural, but then have the expectation of having a monogamous relationship

without burden.

But I just told, what do you mean without burden?

Without burden.

There's always going to be temptation, but like I said, monogamy in the relationship, but not in your lifetime.

But I'm saying, even then, let's just say this.

That's not logical to me.

How not?

If I want to practice on, if I want to drive trucks for a living, I'm not going to drive a smart car for practice.

It's not even the same thing.

What the fuck are you talking about?

So what I'm saying is, if I want to practice monogamy, right?

If I want a monogamous relationship, I should be practicing monogamy throughout my entire life.

No.

Why would you not?

You're practicing, for example, let's just say I'm dating.

right and i date four girls at a time i'm not serious or committed with any one of them i'm just dating.

Okay.

But I want a monogamous relationship.

That doesn't even make sense.

Because I'm literally in the moment practicing poly.

Because look,

you're dating around to find the person that you would want to be monogamous with.

But dating, okay, so let's.

You have to know as a man, like as a woman, I know who my, like, my person is, right?

So

I think at the point that I was with someone that was a serial cheater all the time, right?

Like I wanted him to pick me so bad, so I stayed, right?

I realize now years later, that that was just who he was.

That was in his nature.

My most do you believe?

Oh, so go ahead.

Go ahead.

No, no, no, you're fine.

So you believe essentially that he could not not cheat.

Correct.

I think there are men who cannot cheat.

I think I'm not saying that there's not temptation.

I'm not saying that they don't think about cheating, but the difference between thinking about it and action, I think are very different.

You have a choice leading up to that.

Do you want to throw away your entire life for a five-minute fuck?

I can't say that I think that that's something that men really think about.

And the real men that have spines are going to say, this isn't worth throwing away my entire life.

And it could go with that.

What about the real woman?

Let's flip it.

No, and I don't know.

A real woman that have spines is going to say, I don't think that this is worth throwing.

If this guy is a great guy or whoever's a cheater.

Right.

Cause I was the abusee turned into the abuser.

Right.

So that relationship with him around the time that we filmed that show together, he was just cheating on me.

Right.

So my next ex was a, was a woman and I did what he did to me.

I turned around and I did it to her and fucked her up, right?

Like not great.

So I think that there is a cycle that could be said, but I knew every single time I cheated on her, I knew that I was not meant to be with her.

But then the next ex I know could have been my person.

Did she know?

Yeah, she caught me every time.

Women.

She stayed.

She stayed.

Is that not strength?

No, it's spineless.

That's actually the

most, and that's my thing right so right now we're actually in the age and a time where so many people can't actually uh deal with adversity and not just in cheating i'm just saying in life they can or they can't can't it's actually being proven and the problem is what does that have to do with cheating you think cheating should be a part of adversities because i just don't agree i think that cheating can be i don't think a serial cheater is i think that's entirely is that what you were I wasn't a serial cheater because I don't know if you cheat more than once, you're a serial cheater with the same person.

I don't think that once a cheater always a cheater i don't okay i think that you could cheat and realize what you lost and never cheat again i think that there are families and couples that can overcome cheating and you can get through it depending on the circumstances if if and it's not for me to really judge but if i was your girlfriend i i would not have been able to come back from that that's not something that i would because you did it more than once yeah but you didn't know about it that's worse no no no but you slept at night no no no see but it's not about what I did, right?

Because you don't know how I slept.

I could have slept uncomfortably.

No, because you kept doing it.

No, I didn't kept doing it.

How many times?

Roughly.

More than five?

No.

Just can't.

Like, I don't understand it.

Two times a year.

You know, what?

You said that you do not show loyalty to anyone.

Who doesn't show love?

You don't, yeah.

I have the quote.

You said you don't show anyone love until they show you loyalty.

What makes you think that anyone owes you loyalty?

i think that for for me right and remember everything is subjective because the way you live your life or whatever you perceive is going to be entirely different right than me or or whoever is the audience sure um

for me i value loyalty more than love to me that is actually

love a love language for me loyalty right um loyalty also helps me embody trust i don't have to worry i don't want another moving part

when I decide to love you.

And that moving part is usually because I don't trust you or I have to watch you.

I don't want to have to deal with any of that, right?

So this is in terms of a relationship or this is in terms of friendship or

relationship, all of them, right?

So how does one

show you love and loyalty?

What do you mean?

Like when you're, say you enter

you and your friend right here.

Oh, being there.

Okay.

Being present.

Being transparent,

being an accountability partner.

But why do you think that someone should owe that to you, like owes that to you right away?

I don't think nobody's indebted to me, though.

I'm saying if you want something from me, this is the exchange.

So if you want me to love you, in exchange for my love, I need loyalty.

And with loyalty, I need a safe.

See, for me, when you have loyalty or when I have loyalty, it's a safe place to love.

Without loyalty, it's not a safe place for me to put my love in.

It doesn't even seem like a smart investment emotionally.

And so in terms terms of your relationship, you did not get the loyalty or you did not get the, in order for you to love her and accept, you know, the compromises that you were presented with, you needed the love from her and or sorry, you needed the loyalty from her, but you didn't feel like you had that.

That is very, very accurate.

So I felt like the loyalty was not being displayed, especially early on.

I mean, we spoke before we actually dated, seriously, we were,

I mean, before we actually got together, seriously, we dated for about six months.

Okay, five, six months, give or take

about February to June.

Okay.

Right.

Um, or July, roughly.

And,

you know, from there, it was all like,

it was still figuring each other out.

Plus, the COVID happened in the middle of that whole situation, right?

Which I didn't see her for like two months, but we still spoke every day, you know, very, very consistent with that.

And then when I decided to make that step, I literally stopped talking to all the women that I was speaking to at that time.

And that's when I was like, all right, cool.

This is what it's going to be.

And I was already trying to fill you out.

There was a couple of little nuances that we had here and there, which is fine because, again, you're not indebted to me.

But if you want to actually be with me and you tell me you want to be with me, I'm going to tell you what it takes to be with me.

I'm not playing the guessing game.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't want you to guess

what it takes to make me happy or what it takes to be with me or what it takes to get different versions or sides of me that you might want.

I'm going to tell you exactly how to do it because I know it.

A lot of people haven't done the self-work, but you have, of course, you know what I did when I was 21 to get to where I even got to.

Tell me, Jesus Christ, it was a lot.

So, I recommend this for everybody.

Okay, but you have to be 100%

egoless within yourself.

It's hard.

Okay.

Challenge yourself to write 50 flaws about you

on a piece of paper.

Write it down, literally, 50 flaws.

Push forward.

Most people are going to stop at that 10, 20 mark, but push to 50.

Why?

What is the purpose of that?

Because it's going to make you peel the layers back, right?

Now, once you push to 50, once you reach 50, and sometimes you go, you might, it'll be an open door where now you're being really brutally honest with yourself of all the flaws.

You might even go to 100.

After you do those flaws, you're going to write a dash, and and the next grid or category is going to be why slash when.

Right.

So if I say, hey, listen, I am short-tempered and I'm explosive.

I'm going to then say dash why

slash when.

When did I notice it?

And why is it happening?

Or where did it come from?

You know, maybe it was.

What if you don't know?

Well, that's the point.

The point is to challenge yourself where you can recall it.

It might have even happened before then, right?

Whatever that time frame, but you have to be able to see yourself in full.

So these are types of, these are the types of things and activities that I did within myself.

And I remember because I wrote like 200 flaws.

And at that point in time, when I was 21, I was an entirely different person.

I didn't even look the same.

I didn't talk the same.

I didn't dress the same as I do right now.

You've mentioned before on the podcast and also here today that you were raised by a single mom.

Did you witness her being hurt by men?

And how has that shaped your, one, your relationship with her, but two, your ideologies today i don't think i've ever witnessed my mom being hurt by a man emotionally you never saw her cry over a man

no but my mom is a leo and i'm big into astrology and i'll battle anybody absolutely so what you're saying is huh

i'm an aquarius what's that february my daughter's an aries what are you a cancer yep i can tell what am i you're a pisces how do you know that Because I remember your birthday.

But yeah, my mom is a Leo, so she's a fire.

Like, my mom is different.

And I I believe, like,

yeah, my mom is like, my mom is a boss.

What does she think about all of the things that you say?

My mom loves me.

No, I didn't say she didn't love you.

I said, what does she think about the things that you say?

She, she understands it, you know, because my mom is the one who told me.

You know, I told you the story.

I was arguing with my ex all the time.

This was like my ex, ex, ex, ex, right?

When I was younger, and I was still living at home.

I was maybe like 20, 21 years old.

And my mom was like, I'm tired of hearing you argue with this girl because you want to lie.

Do you understand if you're just honest, you will have no problems with women?

Because we want the choice to,

the power of choice, right?

And the respect, right?

But if I have the choice and I know right off the bat, I'm allowed to, I can make the choice whether I want to stay and be a part of this and shut the fuck up or.

You sign up for it.

Right.

And so that's what I.

That's what your mom taught you.

Yeah.

So like my mom, like, so everything that I say, my mom's like, that's what he wants.

That's what he wants, but he's not going to sugarcoat it.

So she doesn't necessarily agree with what you do, but she is

supporting you being honest about what your thoughts are and what you want.

Most men want the same thing.

They're just not honest.

Like what?

They want more than one woman.

They want to have periods of times where they can have a break from the relationship.

Not really necessarily like a breakup, but like a moment where they can go ahead and explore.

Yeah, hall passes.

Most men want this.

I would argue 90%.

Now, ask me how many men are confident that will say it is far less.

How many men are confident to say it in public is is far less?

Because at the end of the day, men fear losing women, right?

I fear scaring women away and I fear losing the woman that I might have if they even have one.

But for me, it's like I was never scared of losing anybody, anything, because if I tell you what I want at this point in time in my life, that's where I'm at.

If you're not aligned, that's fine.

It doesn't matter how bad I want you to be here.

I'm not forcing alignment.

I'm not pushing you you to be here with me, knowing that you don't even work with me.

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What's your relationship like with your dad?

I feel like you've told me.

I don't remember.

What is the relationship with your dad?

Do you have a dad?

I mean, I'm here.

I have to have a dad, right?

But I can have a sperm donut.

Yeah, so my dad, me and my dad do not have a close relationship at all, right?

Was he there?

No, not really.

He's popped in my life, let's say three times in total for a total of three or four years

um do you have a stepdad you did or you did you don't anymore no so him and my mom split when i was about 18.

okay so you were an adult yeah and but me and him are still like this me and he has a son who's a year or two older than me i remember you telling me we're still like this that's your brother that's my brother you know what i'm saying so i did still have that

that male figure in my life and the greatest thing about him is that he's like a real og so do you call him dad nah nah i don't call him.

Have you ever called him dad?

No, no, no.

You've always called him by his name.

Nickname, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

But still, like, his son is my brother.

If I introduce him, like, this is my brother, he'll tell you, like, this is my little brother.

Do you and your former stepdad and your brother share these same ideologies?

Not necessarily, no.

No.

Like, some of them, yeah.

But.

Ask me, have they all cheated at a point in their life?

Ask me if they all had multiple women at a point of their life.

I don't want to put their personal business we can interview them and another you know let them tell their story yeah uh but we asked me if we share the same experiences the answer is a hundred percent yes now what we want permanently is a little bit different you know what i'm saying and what we may have is a little bit different just because i want something doesn't mean i'm going to achieve it right and i think that's important to note and same thing for women women want a lot of different types of men or a lot of different characteristics and men and won't find them and then as they start to go throughout life,

that list obviously dwindles.

And then they start to get to that settle period where they're settling for somebody who is not ultimately what they wanted 10 years ago.

I just think that that's the nature of life because we have unrealistic expectations.

Just like I feel like for us to say, like numerically, just think about this.

And I just want you to,

I'm not normalizing.

Okay, let's see.

But what we have to do is understand reality.

Do you understand that 70% of rough estimates of relationships, all marriages and not marriage, right?

Relationships has infidelity.

Oh, for sure.

So

does that include financial infidelity or just like cheating?

Yeah, all infidelity, financial, emotional,

physical.

So my thing is, we get to this point where we act nuts

because we want to resist the truth.

The truth is that the likelihood of you doing something that's infidelity towards me or considered infidelity or a type of infidelity towards or with me is seven out of ten.

Seven out of ten.

So, for I don't have resistance to the truth.

I don't have resistance to the truth.

I think that cheating, especially like we're talking 10-year marriages, 20-year relationships, there is going to be infidelity, right?

Like, you can't expect someone to go 20 years without cheating.

And if you think that you can, you're a liar.

Um, but but why, but why does it have to take 20 years?

Why not five?

Maybe five, depending on what the situation is.

Two, for me, I don't know.

I feel like that you should still be in that very new phase of the relationship that you're still building.

So for me, cheating within the first two years, I think, is crazy.

So, look, check this out.

Back in the day, they said that the women were having sex with the male man and the milkman, right?

This was like what they say.

I wasn't there.

Yeah, that's where, like, the, is that the milkman's daughter came from?

Right, right, right, right.

Also, back in the day, at the same time, the husband had a whole other family that he was taking care of on the other side of town that nobody knew that he had kids over there.

So

women and men have been cheating on each other.

I think the way that women tolerated and put up with cheating before, and it was easier to

turn a blind eye to cheating before, was because we solely relied on men to be the providers and to be the

producers of the home.

And so we had to turn a blind eye.

We didn't have a choice where today, I've made more money than all my exes combined.

So I don't need you for any reason.

And if you can't help me around the house, I'm going to hire someone who can.

So to me, why should I tolerate that when there is that 3%

or 30% that would be faithful?

Yeah,

the pool is smaller and the time that I get to it might be long, but I'm willing to wait.

They're typically already taken.

I see what you're saying.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, fair.

Well, that's why I, that's part of the reason I don't date anybody with children because they're bound to cheat.

I would only see like going forward, like if me and my girl were to split today,

I would almost, I would prefer a woman to have a child.

Really?

One.

Knowing that there is an opportunity for her to go back to, because I personally have never experienced a man who hasn't, every single one of my kids' dads has cheated on their significant other with me.

Whether we knew it at the time or not, they cheated with me.

So for me going into a new relationship, whether it's a woman or a man, if they have kids, I'm not interested.

I won't even look, like actually will not even be immediate turn off, not because of the kids, love the kids, but I do not, I have no interest.

Wait, so you're saying, I want to make sure I'm understanding, your exes cheated with you, yes, but that's the difference between a man and a woman.

Woman, a woman would rather have sex with somebody she already had sex with versus going and having sex with somebody new.

Like, they don't want to add more bodies.

Men?

No, women.

So, like, no, no, no, I don't think you're tracking.

I don't think you're so, so my exes, right?

We break up.

Yeah.

They have a new relationship.

Yeah.

And they cheat on their new relationship with me.

That's what I'm saying.

Because you.

Because I'm going back to them.

You're saying.

Yeah.

You're not going to go to somebody you don't know to lay with you.

Tracking, tracking, tracking.

You get me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So versus a man, right?

Doesn't matter.

Yeah.

So like for her to go back to him doesn't make sense.

Why?

Unless if she truly wants to be with him.

I feel like it's a little bit different.

Why do men cheat with ugly girls?

Yo, so listen, right?

I have a theory, and I'm not too sure if this is the truth, right?

But I have a theory.

There's a couple of different things.

Tell me.

It was a buildup.

Uh-huh.

Of what?

Of just like, I just want something different.

Okay.

But I don't want to risk it.

A beautiful woman is not going to just play second place.

Like, they're not going to just take the back burner and be quiet, especially if they feel like they got emotionally involved with you.

So

pretty girl.

Yeah, the ugly girl knows that she, a pretty girl is a competitor.

A ugly girl is an acceptor.

So she was just going to do it.

She was going to accept her role and shut up, hopefully, right?

My situation, obviously, everybody knows about it.

I've been open about it, about when I was cheating.

And the woman's a very beautiful woman.

Right.

The woman is a very paid, influential woman.

The one that you cheated with or your, or your girlfriend?

The one that blew up the operation,

right?

Because there was others, right, that I came clean about.

But I would never forget this shit.

She called me and she said,

I've never came second to anybody.

Click.

I was like, oh, shit.

You knew it was, the jig was up.

Not even like, I knew it wasn't.

It wasn't just like, hey, listen, this is what happened.

I knew that this was a screenshot.

This was a video.

This was whatever the hell she had to destroy.

She was coming to destroy.

Why?

Well, because she probably felt the same way.

Were you in love with her?

I wasn't.

I don't know if I was in love with her, but I was definitely developing feelings.

And that was the first time I've ever done that.

That's why I really realized that, for me, that was what cheating really is.

Cheating is like when you get emotionally involved with something.

Like for a guy, I can have sex and completely forget that I had sex until I scroll past you on Instagram.

And you're like, oh shit, I fucked her.

Yeah, like, damn, I forgot about this.

You know, and for me, like, that's like, that's not really cheating for a guy to me.

But when you start to develop actual feelings and emotions, that's like, bro, you're really cheating now.

Cause now it becomes an affair type of situation.

Right.

Right.

And for me, that is uncalled for.

And I think that's what it was, you know, and it was neutral.

Like there was feelings being developed there.

The times that I have cheated in my life, I think that I was not,

I was with people who were not meeting my needs emotionally.

So I was finding that emotional connection somewhere else.

So I think for women, we're emotional cheaters, emotional just by nature.

But for men, I would say, yeah, I would agree that they more think with their dicks and they don't have those feelings for the women.

Like, like you just said, you could have sex with her and completely forget about it.

And that's so, and that's what happened.

So at that point in time in my, my actual relationship, we're going through turmoil.

It was like separation, not separation, separation, not separation.

So, so for me, I felt like there was no stability there.

So in my mind, I'm like, we keep on breaking breaking up to get together.

We're about to break up.

You know, so I think at that point in time, that was the first time in that relationship where I was like, okay, I'm open, I'm opening the door for to be emotionally available for somebody else.

And that's where that happened.

You know,

not justifying it at all.

You know, I'm just saying, that's how that happened.

Because prior to that, it was never a situation where I actually cared about the person.

It was just like, we are vibing

and that's it.

You know, here today, done tomorrow.

You know, we're nothing's moving.

We're not exchanging contact and keeping, we're not keeping in contact.

I would be curious to ask your girlfriend if that was why she was able to move on from it because it didn't mean anything versus had you had like an emotional like connection to someone that was like ongoing, would she have been able to forgive?

I mean, I don't, I don't think that

we just and that's another thing.

So for me, I think that people got to understand that there's a good maybe two or three times time length of the amount of time that you cheated that it's going to take to potentially heal.

So, like, we just got back on track, kind of like we've been good, but like now we're actually getting back on track.

Not meaning she forgot, you know what I'm saying?

So, like, when you think about the situation that happened, she had to go through a lot.

And I'm only speaking from the outside looking in.

I'm not her.

You know, I can't tell you exactly how her feelings were, but I do have an idea.

You know, so it took while it took a while for her to just be like, you know,

to navigate through the household, you know, with less stress or at least not wearing it as much, you know?

Right.

I still don't know in full because it's her situation, it's her experience, you know what I mean?

And I'm on the other end of it.

But you were willing to be patient with her while she sort of worked through that?

I still am.

Because I think, you know, I've talked to people who have gone through infidelity.

And, you know, like I said, I've been on both sides of of it.

I think that when you're in a relationship and you choose to take someone back and after a cheating scandal or an affair or whatever, it'll come up at a dinner table when you're with your friends and it'll come up in movies and it'll come up in shows.

And so every single time that happens, you have to reassure your partner if you're choosing to work through it.

You have to choose to comfort them in that moment and not get mad.

Because I think that a lot of times, like with my ex, for example, you know, he was cheating and then he'd get mad at me for being upset a week later.

And it's like, you didn't even give me time to like get through this.

And so I would like bring up all the emotions if I saw it on a show or a movie or whatever.

And he'd be like, I can't keep doing this.

And it's like, you literally are giving me a week.

Well, even if like for me, it was like two years.

Oh, wow.

Because this all happened, the whole thing happened two years ago.

You know, so now we've been two years post all of this.

Right.

And so now you, you're wanting the nuclear family.

You want to stay together.

You want to raise your kids together.

You want to do all the things together because you don't want to see your kids in a household without you.

Without us.

Without, okay, without both of you.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not about me.

Yeah.

At the point that you are not happy in the relationship, do you think it's still important to work it out with her so that you guys can be a nuclear family?

Or do you think at that point you would remove yourself and allow another man to come forward and have a semi-nuclear family where there is still a male role model in the house?

Because look how you turned out.

I'm a great fucking dad, though.

The thing is.

But you in order to be a great dad, you have to be a great partner no yes no they are not synonymous some people are great parents and terrible spouses and vital yes but what are you teaching your kids by doing that well i i think that sometimes you don't you gotta we also have to remember not everybody understands what great is whether a great parent for somebody can actually be a shit parent for somebody else right it's all about perspective right and and and it's all about the adaptability to understand that person's needs and desires whether they're the child or the spouse

right and and and if you can adapt to that so i have two different kids that are tired different people entirely different personalities the other one's here huh the other one's born well she has a son prior post to me oh i didn't know prior to me yeah oh so you're a stepdad yeah so and i've had him since he was six going on seven he had just turned seven okay and now he he'll be 12 this year so i have

lincoln's age yeah no no he's oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's 11.

he's 11 he'll be 12 this year.

Um, and I'm his coach, like, but the same way that my stepdad was with me, I am with him, you know what I'm saying?

But I had that now.

I have a, I'm hearing a lot of other situations where the step parent was nowhere near the type of step parent that I had, right?

So I don't know if I got lucky or if I wanted a few, yeah, um, you know what I'm saying, but I

fortunate can be the same for somebody else, right?

Now, and it's also different when you have a boy versus a girl

Because

men are sick, and so are women, but men are sick with little girls.

And I don't play that.

Like, if

something ever happened to my daughter, like, because all it takes is one experience.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

One minute,

one second.

Same can be said for little boys, though, too.

Yeah, yeah, 100%.

But I feel like there are more men who would, and this could be wrong.

But I feel like more men that would target a girl versus target a boy.

I agree.

And I've said that.

Like, when I had my daughter, I had twins, boy, girl twins.

So when I had my daughter, they were both in the NICU, but when I, obviously, we know it can happen to a boy, but like when I looked at my daughter, I just felt different because I think they're targeted in a different way.

They, they are looked at as more vulnerable than boys.

Not saying it can't happen to boys, but I was just like, if someone was to do something to my daughter, like, I just don't even know.

Lose it.

I'd lose it.

I mean, same for my sons, but I just think that we, as a society, we look at men meant to be stronger.

You know, they might be able to fight it off.

They might be able to, you know, get out of the situation where we look at women, little girls, and we think that they can't.

And the thing is, and also to add to that, a stepfather is coming into the situation, assuming they're heterosexual, this example.

The stepfather is coming into the situation already attracted to women.

So if I have a son and a daughter, the likelihood that he's going to be attracted to the girl is higher than the boy because he's already attracted to women, which is why he's here.

You get what I'm saying?

That's terrifying.

Yeah, so like I look at it from that perspective.

And now, if your daughter, so you're like a teenage daughter, this man is already attracted to a woman because that's why he's with the mother.

There's no telling how far he can go if this man is pushed to the edge or if he can't have self-regulation or maybe he has mental issues, mental health issues.

You know, so for situations like that, I look at it way more delicate,

delicately than if I, than my actual son.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah.

So it might be biased, of course, but that's my reasoning for it.

Some people are very sick.

And that's what I, and I'm not taking that chance.

And I realize that more people are sick now than probably ever, or at least it's more prominent now.

And we are talking about it more.

We hear about it more.

Not saying it never happened before.

And I hate that because you get to a point where I remember I'm pushing my son like, go outside.

Go outside and play.

Just go play.

but then you know I told him like you know what

you're not gonna be allowed to play any video games unless you spend one hour outside because I don't want him to be like those kids like the kids that we see we're seeing he went outside he came back and I was like what'd you do he's like there was nobody outside and I'm like damn I'm the only one pushing him to go outside but there's nobody outside right so Now we got to a point where I realized that as parents, we actually operate in more fear than ever before.

Yeah.

Right.

Because of all the potential or the news or everything that we do here, which I hate that, because I would love to, I would love to have the comfortability to say, hey, listen, my son is outside.

He fell, he bumped his knee, but he's okay.

He played football with the kids or whatever the hell boys do or even girls.

Yeah.

But even if, here's the thing, girls, it's different.

It's different.

It's different because a little boy could do something too.

You know, like you have your daughter outside.

She's 12.

He's 13.

Yeah.

You get what I'm trying to say.

Like, it's

protecting women is like an every single second job.

You have to see all potential things or the worst case scenarios and try to your best to navigate through them.

So, it's different having a stepdad versus a stepmom, in my opinion.

So, I think it would be different.

And I don't want my daughter to be in the house with another man that

I have to be able to vet him entirely to make sure that he's sane enough to not do anything crazy.

Um, Because I promise you, I'm crazier.

I'm actually shocked that you're a stepdad.

And I also said I would never do it, by the way.

You, you don't strike me as someone who you, the way that you talk about certain things, you make it seem like you

would rather jump out of a window than be with someone who has a child by another man.

I might have even said that in the past.

You probably have.

Right.

And like basically a mom that has a man with another child scum of the earth.

I would not scum of the earth, just not for me.

Right.

So, my thing is, I wouldn't want to do it.

Now,

you know, when this situation happened and I looked at it and I talked to my mom about it, she was like, Well,

it was done for you.

I said, Well, damn, you got a point, right?

So, that made me help, that helped me step up to the table or step up to the plate.

But the thing is,

you know,

nowadays I realize something very, very

like for me, my mom set the bar too fucking high as a woman, and a, as a mom and a woman, right?

And that's why, like, if me and my girl were to split today, I need to see how you mother.

Because if you don't mother or parent the way I would like you to,

I don't care how much I love you.

So you think that your girlfriend was a good mom before you came into the picture?

You had a chance to see her as a mother?

I did not really have a chance to see her too much as a mother.

It was also during COVID.

You know what I'm saying?

So I saw like moments and like situations like maybe I'll be on FaceTime with her, and like he's there, and you know, he was getting uh, his schooling was online at that time, homeschool.

So, I mean, I saw it, but you ain't, I didn't see it, I didn't experience it, yeah, I wasn't in the house with you, you know what I mean?

Um, but going forward, I gotta make sure that you do parent the way that I need you to parent because I see and I know of too many situations where the mom or the dad is not the parent that the other,

the significant other would like for their child.

Right.

And if you come, if I come into a space with you and you don't have a children or a child and you want to have children, and then you have children and I don't like the way that you parent, it's going to make me look at you and treat you differently.

Although you could be a great wife, but if you're a terrible mother, if I'm a person who values a parent for my kid, for my children.

then I might actually

start

to not like you or think that you are as good as a wife as I once thought you were.

You know, so that's kind of why I have like a little weird preference now because I want to just know how do you tend to your kids?

Because I'm a person that's now, I would say, become about family more than ever before.

Right.

You know, and now because I am big on family now, I'm not playing that game.

Everybody has to be a moving, has to play a role in terms of moving the kids in a positive direction.

I coach the kids in my team for, I mean, I coach the kids in my, in my town for free.

I work with them for free.

I, I bring them, like, if they want something and they see me, I buy them whatever they need.

You know, like, I'm active with all the kids or all the people, um, all the kids in my town, you know, in my age group, because I coach them.

So like 10, 11, 12 year olds, right?

Not every one of them.

I know what you mean.

But you know what I'm saying?

So like, because of that, and I'm such a big presence for them and big presence in my household, I want you to be a big presence as a woman too, you know?

And if you've never experienced that, you might be a woman who just like can't deal with the stress of a baby,

which could be numerous different reasons, postpartum, a bunch of different things.

But there's a lot of bad parents that I'm seeing, even from

kids,

even from the coaching perspective.

I'm watching parents, I was like, I would never want this person to be a mother of my child.

You get what I'm saying?

What about a father?

You don't think that, you know?

Oh, well, the father too, right?

But he can never be the father of my child.

Well, I guess if he was with, you know, the mother of my child, he could technically be be the step parent of right right but i don't even look at it from that perspective but when i look at women and how they parent their son um because that's what i did with coaching football i'd be like i'd never want a relationship with a person like you doesn't matter how they look it doesn't matter how they treat me i would not want you to be the mother of any of my kids

like So like, one, there's a preference, right?

So

I do believe raising boys and raising girls are a little bit different i would agree um but there's a preference like i don't think like dropping your kid off and not being supportive is a good thing for me because what do you mean dropping your kids off and not being supportive like there are some parents who would drop their kids off and just leave and come back and pick them up to do what like at the kids at the sports i'm saying oh okay okay so you're saying sports okay because i'm just thinking like working parents like for work well you think okay yeah if they're working that's different but there's some parents that don't even go to the games no i know that to me doesn't make like but i also came from a nobody ever came to my games.

Do you know what I mean?

So I parent the way that I wasn't parented, but I do agree.

Like when I hear stories and they're like, oh, my parents didn't come to my games.

And I'm like, but you live in a two-parent household.

I don't, I can't wrap my head around it.

So I agree with you on that.

Yeah.

Um, okay,

I'm tracking.

Now, with situations like that, that's just a small situation that obviously bleeds into other situations.

I can only imagine.

If you're not there and being supportive of the games, I'm going to assume that you're not being supportive and you're missing other moments in other areas.

Right.

Right.

It's never just one thing.

Right.

If you're lacking here, you're likely to be lacking somewhere else.

Yeah, because it's a character flaw.

Right.

Okay.

I see what you're saying.

So like situations like that, I would not want to, I would not want that person to be the parent of my child.

Well, thank you for coming on Barely Famous podcast.

Thank you for your time.

I will be curious to see how people react to this.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Reactions are just reactions.

We appreciate the reactions, though, and engagements.

Make sure you keep on subscribing.

And hopefully one day I won't be Barely anymore.

Just be famous.

What's your podcast called?

So definitely I have the Hundo Shows.

I actually have my own app that'll be out very, very soon.

So depending on when you do see it, definitely download and subscribe to that.

That's called the Hundo Shows app, where there's going to be a bunch of different podcasts and other shows that are produced or co-signed by myself.

Okay.

So yeah, so definitely check that out.

I'm also on Aid at the Table.

You can check out as well.

I also have.

My sunglass brand, which is called Hundo brand.

We have luxury sunglasses and then we also have sunglasses and then we also have affordable sunglasses so we have options you didn't bring any for me so we're not promoting that it's all right i'll send it to you in the mail i'll send everybody i'm kidding uh what are your instagram tick tock whatever wherever people can find you rico underscore hundo h-u-n-d-o that's everywhere um you can also google it find out who i am go educate him leave all the the comments combating misogyny in and i can educate you too as well we have a men we have a mentorship program program called hundo university you can enroll and then uh we go ahead and get you a nice diploma.

See y'all later.

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