Coming Together As A United Front Part 2

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Things are going to get weird. It's your fave

villain, Kale Low be times that you're going to want to call and Lincoln's out of practice or, you know, Lincoln has a doctor appointment right now. You and I know everything every time, right? If he has an orthodontist appointment that I'm taking him to, I let you know, vice versa.
If he does something with you, you let me know. Do you think that we're in a place that we would still continue to do that? Or are you afraid at any point that it might be affected? I don't think I'm afraid that we can't do that.
I don't know if afraid is not the right word. I just don't know if you understand.
I'm sure you do. And I'm sure you've thought about the complexity of how much more work.
Because usually I handle the sports. Hey, I'm signing up Lincoln here.
Just send me half. I'll send you the schedule, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Now a lot of times you have so much going on. You have so many outside people just working your calendar or I need to be here.
I need to be there. So now that it all falls on you, that's what I'm worried about.
And not like bashing you or like saying you're not going to be able to handle it. I'm just worried.
Maybe it's a control thing. I just don't know if you understand how much is coming onto your plate without me being here.
And you handle the dentist. You do all that.
I handle the sports and everything else on that side. So I just, that's all I'm worried about.
Not that you can't handle it. Not that Elijah can't handle it.
But like you were saying with the kids, Elijah can't go to us. So it's, it's solely false on me.
It solely false on you. And I thought part of my argument was you can't handle it not that Elijah can't handle it but like you were saying with the kids Elijah can't go to us so it's it solely falls on me it solely falls on you and and I thought part of my argument was you can't be at two places at once right so like let's take this past weekend Lux had soccer here Lincoln had basketball practice here without me here and it's different because but I ended up making it work yeah yeah but one one kid is always gonna have to sacrifice whether it's Lux Lincoln Creed when he gets older a kid a child is going to have to sacrifice because there's only one of you.
And that was my argument. What I was trying to portray to you is that's why I thought it was better than me because I can be at everything.
I only have two boys. Two boys that are in sports.
And so that's just where I'm, honestly. And I'm telling you that genuinely and respectfully.
I'm not trying to disrespect you. I'm not taking it as disrespect.
That's where I'm worried at for this next year of how it's going to go. Well, I think the good thing is that you can still look online for places to sign him up.
And if you do, we can still operate the same way. You're just not here.
You could just be like, hey, Kale, I saw this sign up. Either sign him up or I will.
And we can still operate the same way. I will make it work.
I always do. And I think that when Eli first started playing sports, I remember there being, you know, a time where you were sort of conflicted there because you didn't know which kid's game to go to.
And I think that that can be said for anybody with multiple children, right? Like not just me, I understand what you're saying in terms of like i have more kids so there's more of a situation but i think their ages have allowed me to be in multiple places because the games are so there's so many at different times but in the same state so now that lincoln's in travel soccer we're committing to him i mean i've told you for a long time, Lincoln is at an age, we are behind the curve. So finally, okay, this seems like a great program.
I love the coach. I love that he has him out there in the rain.
All his games are basically in Maryland. Right.
So now it's stretching you even more. And again, the custody is fine and it is what it is.
We're going to have to figure it out and you're going to have to figure it out. Essentially, a lot of it's going to fall on you to get them there.
I just worry that the commitment and you having to be so many different places, it's going to be a lot. And I don't want Lincoln to feel the, what's the word, not ramifications, but the difference that I'm not here.
My mom has to be at so many different places. And I think that I don't want to speak for you, but I'm in a place where if that was to become something, I would let you know.
And I told you that when we went to mediation. If there is a point where I say I cannot do this, I have to, I mean, that's a really hard pill to swallow, I think, for any parent.
But especially me, because let me not say especially me, because there are plenty of moms who go to every single thing but i mean you and i had a really hard time when we stopped going to every single practice even on you know our off weeks with him right so that's going to be a very hard pill for me to swallow i feel comfortable enough with where things stand with myself and you and lauren that i would be comfortable telling you that hey, this is too much. I don't know if that's any consolation to you.
No, it is. I just, I truly struggle.
It makes me sad, emotional that like, if you're not there, he won't have anyone. And I will make sure that I'm there.
Okay. Right.
I'm not going to tell you how to stretch yourself thin or how to make yourself five different places at once but i just no i don't want to hear you i do i just i just i honestly don't think and this is no disrespect i don't think you understand the schedules as your younger kids get older needing to be the sacrifice i don't know the sacrifice someone is going to make if it's not lincoln it's the younger kids if it's the younger kids it's going to be lincoln and that's why i thought he was why i stood the way i did at mediation because at least if i thought this is why honestly i thought we were in such a good place co-parenting that you would you would have seen that we're like okay i lincoln and eli are going to be in the same team, essentially, they play the same sport, so it would have, Javi's always going to be there. Where you, there's such a big gap between Lincoln and Creed right now, and then when Rio comes up, the commitment of sports is going to be different, right? So Lincoln, so Elijah will take the youngers, and you take Lincoln, or vice versa.
I think because I'm thinking more of right now, and I'm also also thinking because I think you're so sports-oriented, I just was thinking about more than just sports, where I think that the sports thing has been such a prominent factor in Lincoln's life that that's where your mind goes. But I'm thinking more so like waiting until the school year and when he's transitioning schools and things like that.
But have you guys talked about moving at all? To who? To anyone publicly? No. This is the first time? This is the first time I thought this was probably the best way to hear it out of both of our mouths, as opposed to going back and forth on social media.
I'm pretty sure I'm blocked, so that wouldn't have happened. But the people who follow us, I think, would message you message me and let us know like what's going on.
And I do appreciate you coming on here to talk about it, because I think that this further proves, if to nobody else, but to Lincoln, that we're united, and that we can talk about it as hard as it is. It was hard for me, because I've kind of chosen a more peaceful approach to my life and not, you know, we're not really talking about my personal stuff don't need to go on camera and talk about anything so then it was like dang if I do this it kind of opens up you know a whole nother can of worms all the trolls other not that this stuff bothers me but it was just like I've been on such a for years now it's just been I'm not creating any drama I'm not part of any drama and it was nice so it was just I didn't know how the reaction to this would go and I guess we'll see how it is um because what would have been the alternative you guys talk about it on your own social I mean you can't pretend that you live in Delaware right like I think that's the part that's complicated is that you guys would have left Delaware and then people would have picked up onto it.
My fear is that, I mean, regardless, they're going to come up with their own narratives. And I think that they would have come up with their own stories.
But I do think with us both sitting down and being able to talk about it here is like, there's less of a narrative to be created by other people. I mean, people will take this and run with it however they want.
But what was the alternative? You guys just moving and not saying anything? I don't think we thought of the alternative. The alternative was, hey, go on my Instagram and post a video and say, this is the situation.
We figured out custody. We're moving.
And that was that. And so I thought this was the best way to communicate with you and everyone could hear it your side and my side and this is how we're just where we're at how has it felt for you and for Lauren to know this information for so long and just sit on it and obviously I'm sure that your friends like circle knows, right? But like the general public doesn't know.

Like, how does it feel knowing that in the back of your mind you're leaving and there is truly a fan base or like a supportive following, right, that is going to react to this?

How does that feel?

To be honest, it's very stressful.

Stressful in a way where I've never moved.

So just like Delaware is all I've known. So now to...
Well, Pennsylvania. Yeah, but I mean, my adult years, I've been in Delaware, right? True.
So, and now I have kids and a family. So it's stressful to think where, hey, the time is coming up, but we haven't even packed a single thing.
And not only on top of that, hey, I'm going to have to give up Lincoln here short. Not give him up, but he's not going to be with us here shortly.
So I don't think it's hit us yet because we have so many different things going. Sports are so busy and life is just busy.
I don't know. Just now that you say that, it's starting to hit me in.
I don't know. It's not easy.
I made a promise to you in mediation and also to Lincoln that, you know, with your, for as long as your family is in Delaware, I'll do anything in my power to make sure that if, you know, if you're, if you can't get down here on a weekend or for whatever reason, if he wants to go hang out with your nephew or he wants to be with your parents, or if your parents are already going there on one of my weekends, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that Lincoln gets to do those things. And I've made you that promise.
I made Lincoln that promise. And I stand by that.
And I know that you guys would do the same. it's hard to think that Lincoln won't have one of us but knowing that we have to have this conversation again next year either way it goes next year whether he decides to stay or goes with you we still have to have this conversation again so it's like we can get over the feelings you know for the time being but we have to go through it all again next year.
And that's a hard pill to swallow too, because nothing feels permanent right now. Like even with Lincoln staying for the year, it doesn't feel permanent, doesn't feel solid, doesn't feel secure.
And I think that that is really hard. And again, not that it's your fault.
And I don't want to blame you because I think the military was a really, really good choice for you. And I think that you have done a great job so far.
And I don't see that changing anytime soon. But when you called me and said that there is a potential that you're moving soon, right? And then we never talked about, I don't remember if you called me, whatever the case was, what last year, um, I, we never, we didn't have a conversation about it again for months and months and months and months and months.
Right. I don't know what I was thinking.
I don't know if I just forgot about it. I don't know if I was like, Oh, it's not going to happen.
I don't know what I was thinking, but I turned around and I bought 20 acres of land. Cause I was like, Oh, I'm going to build to build this house and I'm going to do, you know, I'm going to have a barn and we're going to move the farm and it's going to be like this great fucking thing.
And so I sort of put everything on pause because, and I started looking at houses in Virginia. So it's like, I'm literally not leaving.
Like Lincoln's not leaving. He's going to have 50-50.
I'm going to do whatever I have to do, Right. Like I literally, person and I got on the phone, we sat on the phone for three hours going through house after house in Virginia.
Cause I was like, that's it. I'm going with, um, I don't know why I'm telling you this.
Um, I think that up until this point in the podcast, it's like, you know, we're, we've been pretty civil about it and we're having this adult conversation, but I don't think that it's over yet. And that's not, I think that's the hardest part.
It's like, this isn't us co-parenting up to this point. We decided what the custody is going to look like with you moving.
And then it's over. Like it just, it's going to keep going.
And I think part of all of it is like, we feel it. And I know that once the move happens and it actually is is executed, the kids are going to have questions like we can answer what we can right now.
But at the point, and I don't know if Eli does it, but like, when I get the kids back on Sundays from Chris, the first thing they asked me is, is Lincoln home? First question. I don't get Lincoln back until Mondays.
So having to think about having those conversations with them, and I'm sure on your side too, is so hard for me. Um, and I don't know how to do it.
And those conversations are not going to go away. And what happens when Lux is like, well, I want to go to Virginia for the summer, you know, like what, what do I do then? I don't know how we'll navigate it, but I know that we'll do our best.

But it's been really hard.

Yeah, this has been the hardest thing I go through.

And I struggle with next year.

What if I'm happy with the way it is?

As far as right now, I think this is the best decision we made where you don't really celebrate the holidays like we do so you know talking about it with Lauren it's like well since we do maybe this is a good first year trial but then what if next year it flips and what if if Lincoln, like, I don't think Lincoln,

I'm not going to put some of the words, Lincoln,

I'm worried he won't, I don't know.

What's the words I'm looking for, babe?

Yeah, maybe like you were saying, like, it might not be permanent.

So what if you get him this year and the next year he says he wants to switch?

Well, then everyone has to adapt.

We just had him for the summer.

We have all these plans and now we got to flip it.

Well, that's the other thing, too, is like,

If you have a question, please. next year he says he wants to switch well then everyone has to adapt we just had him for the summer we have all these plans and now we got to flip it well that's the other thing too is like if we were to flip it and again i'm not saying that this is the deciding factor absolutely not but putting those things into perspective is like okay the six weeks because i don't have my kids all summer right so the six weeks and then i also don't celebrate the holidays so now I'm going to keep him from you from for the holidays solely to have time with him.
But I'm not like that. I never have been.
So even on my holidays, I give them to you, I give him to you because you celebrate them. Right.
So then what does that look like? You know, like, I don't want to deprive him of it. So then I don't know, I, it's hard, because this is a where this is not, we don't think about it, right.
Don't worry about what you can't control, but like, this is our child that we're talking about. This is real life circumstances that we do.
We have to sort of think of, think ahead. And I don't think that there is a way for us not to worry about it right now.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think this first year, it's going to take a lot of communication, a lot of asking Lincoln how he's doing.
But I don't necessarily think that we should be asking him where he wants to be for the entire year. So I think that's going to create a lot of stress.
Yeah, a lot of stress. And honestly, I'm at peace with the custody we've arranged.
I mean, when I was hot, I was sad. I was emotional.
Like one week after mediation, and I was like, this is, for me, I thought this was the end of the world. I was like, this sucks.
This is not what I wanted. I'm getting the shit into the deal.
And then when Lauren brought it that point of view, I'm like, well, damn, you're right. She doesn't celebrate Christmas and we do.
So if the worlds were reversed, not that he wouldn't have a good Christmas with you if it was just him, but he would be missing out on that time that we do it. And we've had those traditions over the years.
And so that's where I struggle. Next year, I don't know how it would be if he said he I don't know I'm scared if he would want to change honestly and that's where I'm at so like if he says next year hey I want to go to Virginia I'm I don't know if I not that I wouldn't want obviously hey let's figure this out if you want to come here but I want him to understand what he would be giving up yes and not just me because I know that means a lot to him and it means a lot to us to have what we have the time that we're getting this year so it'll take communication next year like I know your worries of things flipping but I think us as a family what we have now would is what's best I'm at peace knowing you got to school i have no doubt in that and we got everything the holidays in the summer where we celebrate those like that honestly the like we already talked about we don't have to talk about again my biggest worry is just the sports him not having you physically present i think that's what it's for him not having you physically present and this next year is when he's going to need you the most without me as a parent here because here in delaware one of us is always here no matter what and so me not being here that's all i worry about and i think this year is it's going to take the most communication we've ever had the most so does that mean that you're unblocking my number and Lauren's gonna unblock my number well we've talked about um you know one of our vacations this summer 2025 will be in Virginia so that you know we can come see Elijah has already been there he was stationed there I think two or three years but he already sort of knows the area but like for me to go sort of see like where not your house obviously but just like the area and like where he'll be over there and then also a chance for the boys to like be on lincoln's turf over there you know like in lincoln's yeah um and so it gives me hope for the relationships the adult relationships yeah to you know that we already came together for you know i let you know i think i emailed you and was like hey we're gonna come you know go camping for a week um if you don't mind giving us a week in the summer which is already like a big ask because you're only getting the summer so um you know it gives me hope that we can come together in that way and you know you guys said you might go to this beach I said we already have that planned like if it happens to overlap like that would be really cool you know and just sort of having a good relationship with you and Lauren so that if there are creative ways for us to overlap trips or for us to figure out more ways for them to get together and for Lincoln to see you or Lincoln to see me, you know, that we'll, we'll be able to do that.
Yeah. And I, and I have no doubt that we'd be able to figure that out.
I just also want you to understand and respect is that like the summer is probably all realistically Lincoln and Eli and Maisie are gonna have to bond because if he's in this travel sports throughout the school year yeah my long weekends and my holidays are probably going to consist of us coming and staying in Delaware on those weekends right so a lot of the times it's not going to be you know yeah we're going to meet halfway and then we're going to go back to Virginia for the weekend. Right.
Like it would be more so you coming to Delaware or you, Lauren, and Maisie and Eli coming to Delaware and then. So, and I say that to say like, so in the summers, you know, yeah, we already talked about that week.
I'm sure if you want to come, great, have one. Yeah.
But just know that that is my time to or not me it's there the three of them time to bond because they're not going to get to see lincoln or you know we're going to be in hotels up in delaware at you know lauren's house so i just want you to understand no and i'm coming from i feel like we're in an okay enough place to be able to try to figure out other creative ways to get them together. Going back to my last question before Elijah comes in was, have you been scared at all that anyone would leak this information to the media or to the public before you got a chance to speak on it? We haven't told anyone, really, besides our media family.
Absolutely is absolutely no one knows like there's not even a single maybe random friend that knows what has that been like that no one's leaked it or that we're private no that like what is it well first of all i guess that's a bigger question it's like what does it feel like to not have people leak information about you? Because I don't have that experience. Like you never, that never crossed your mind that someone could like leak out to the media that you're moving to Virginia or like see you scouting out houses over there.
Like they'd never, what's it like to be God's favorite? Not once. Yeah, no, I haven't worried about someone telling it.
I don't really talk about it. Yeah.
I was going to say, I'm scared of, maybe I don't want to hear the reactions. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't want to hear what people have to say. I don't want to hear, that's why this was so hard to me.
I don't want to hear, and like I said, it doesn't bother me, but I still don't want to read it. I don't want to hear it either.
I don't want to hear, oh, well, you should have done this or you should have done that. Because at the end of the day, so many, I know, and you know, and Laura knows and Elijah knows that we know that we've been through some shit.
We know that we've fought before. We know that things have been rocky, but at the end of the day, we are doing what's in the best interest of Lincoln.
And I'm, I am afraid after this episode airs, I am afraid that people will try to sway us one way or the other, even though decisions are made, or they're going to try to bring up points that neither one of us thought of, or they're just, they to try to pit us against each other again and i am very afraid of that right and that's why i felt that coming together was probably will help minimize that as far as people saying i don't know i'm sure you're gonna get people saying oh well you should let him go with javi you know he loves him or javi how could you leave lincoln here you're a shitty dad hopefully us coming coming together would minimize. You think they would say that?

I don't know. They're going to say something.

We're not going to please everybody.

And we're not here too.

Right. So I just thought us coming together would help

a little bit of the damage control, I guess.

Yeah. We don't really talk to anyone

because I don't want to hear it.

Good for you.

Smart way to play it.

Well, I want to bring Elijah into the conversation. Bring me back to Teen Mom.
Welcome to Barely Famous, Elijah Scott-Williams. Hello.
I don't really have anything for you guys, but I was thinking that we could talk about maybe how you feel about seeing Javi and I go through this and navigate co-parenting across state lines over the past few months like how what what has it been like with for you to like watch me and like talk to you about it and because I really as rocky as you and I have been over the years on and off like I I don't talk shit about you to Elisha. Like, you know, when you vent to your partner or whatever, it has never been an anger towards you, hatred towards you, resentment towards you.
Maybe a little bit because you get to leave and I don't. But outside of that, it's just been a lot of pain, I think.
And you've had to sort of sit through it. I mean, it's rough because it's like nobody wants to see a situation like this at all.
At the end of the day, everybody wants what's best for Lincoln. And the bottom line is the way that y'all went about it with like the mediation and stuff, I'd say that was probably the best way y'all could have because going back and forth, constantly argue about it, it's not going to get anywhere.
And then y'all going to constantly hate, well, not constantly, but the dislike to the other parent is going to grow and then it's going to cause more conflict than what needs to be versus just sitting down, figuring out what's the best for Lincoln. And you've watched me go through the court system where the judge decides in another co-parenting situation.

And that that was my fear was going through.

And at the end of it, like nobody wins here, here even though we both decided but nobody wins even further when a judge decides in my opinion yeah well I think when we were in Madrid and you know we had that situation that popped up I think I told you I said we need to figure this out for Lincoln before it gets to the judge so that in mediation it was like for me when I called Lauren I said well well i'm not i have to take i'm not leaving i'm not leaving it up to the judge i'm not going to let him decide what we're going to do for lincoln's sake we need to decide tell him and navigate for it how do you feel about after spain like well let me backtrack how did you feel about spain when we were there like do you feel good about how everything played out i'd say yeah because, I mean, me and Javi, we don't, like, that was probably the first time that we actually, like, got to spend, like, kind of, like, one-on-one time and also do something with Lincoln, and it showed Lincoln that we're able to come together and be there for him, practice with him, play around with him, have fun with him. So it's good for him to see that versus other cases, they don't get to see that at all.
So I'd say it was a good thing that Spain happened. So that way we can, the only thing we can do from here is go forward with it.
Yeah. Yeah.
The only thing i'll say is that i am glad that we're all have lincoln in the forefront and makes the the time that we're going to split more at peace so what i mean is you know knowing that lincoln is going to spend more time with elijah during the school i'm at peace knowing that he's going to be in good hands and he's gonna, I don't have anything to worry about. And I'm sure you feel the same on the back end where he's not with you.
So that makes it a lot more peaceful when we're not coming at each other's necks. Literally, I'm glad Lincoln's older, so we don't really have to talk about much besides whatever's going on in his life so it makes the transition easier did you guys think that you would like each other I mean I don't know you didn't really introduce us in the beginning I don't know I mean we said hey to each other but i mean i'm not a no offense but i'm not a people person so it's like you don't say everybody knows i'm not a people person so it's like i don't i'm not about to i'm not always going to make the first move when it comes to like speaking to somebody but once after we spoke like in spain i'm like all right well we got the first like hey what's up out the window and i was kind of nervous at first playing soccer with everybody i'm just like i don't know which way it's going to go but once i got comfortable i'm like oh yeah it's fine we can sit here play sports with lincoln and actually have a conversation.
Yeah, I really want peace with everybody. I'm not 32.
There's no reason for us to be beefing. If it's not dealing with personal issues, as long as no one's talking bad about someone else, there's really no reason why we can't figure it out for Lincoln.
And I think this kind of proved it.

The second you guys were playing all together on the soccer field

and I was watching from the hotel window, I was like, oh.

Like, there really is hope for this entire situation.

Ballard's really outgoing, so she really breaks the ice out of life.

Yeah, I was about to say, if it...

I think it was her.

Did she really?

Yeah, because she was like, you want to play?

You want to play?

Which team you want to be on? I'm like, I don't know. Well, she said you run like a fairy, so.
Why I got to be a fairy, though? No, like. Hey, The Rock was a fairy in one of his movies, so that's a compliment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's two fairies, two fairies.
She just bent your light on your feet. So are we collectively agreeing that we feel pretty good moving forward, at least for this first year? I would say yeah, for sure.
I think so, yeah. Because at the end of the day, we're all here for one person.
And if he needs me, you can call me, vice versa. I know for, well, like he was saying, it's, I guess, peaceful for him knowing that he has someone here, which I know I'm not as big into sports as you, but now with your going, I understand, like, how Lincoln is about sports and how he really is into sports, so I will step up more to get involved with sports, make sure he's practicing, staying in shape, and stuff like that.
Because while you're here, you're able to do that. And what you're not going to be here for, I guess, what, the next year, Lincoln is going to, like, not necessarily, like, slip, but I don't want him to slip.
Yeah, and I appreciate that. I think he'll need that.
Honestly, I think he will. No offense to you.
I think it's safe. I plan on getting fit.
I plan on getting fit and, know i think he needs a man more like lauren's gonna tutor me in sports no i appreciate that i think he'll need that and like i said i'm at peace knowing he has you honestly and we'll get through it yeah and if you decide that virginia is going to be a permanent thing then you know we can go from there and from there. And I'll probably head that way.
But Elijah doesn't really want to go back. So unfortunately, that'll be a...
I just had some rough times when I was in Virginia. I was young and wild, so...
Not the rough times. Well, is there anything else that you guys want to add to this whole conversation and like where we go from here? What are the next steps? No, I'm that's it so we'll just make the best of it for the remainder of your time here and you know i'll see you uh you guys both at sports and and games and you know just keep doing what's best for lincoln i think yeah same same way we're doing yeah la you feel good? I guess the best we can.
How do you feel about Elijah? I'm surprised because everybody's like, oh, he's so mean. You are mean.
I'm not mean. You look mean.
You look mean. I just look like somebody that don't talk.
Once we get past the first little icebreaker, we'll be fine.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for coming on Barely Famous.

And I hope that you feel a little bit better about this

and not as nervous.

I see when it comes out.

Fair.

Okay, well, that's the episode of Barely Famous.

We'll catch you next week.

See ya.

Peace.

Peace. Peace.
Peace. Peace.
Peace. Peace.
Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

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