Coming Together As A United Front

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Speaker 8 Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.

Speaker 8 It's your favede villain, Kale Lower Lower. And you're listening to Barely Famous

Speaker 8 All right, welcome back to another episode of Barely Famous Podcast. We have a guest that you guys know and love, Javi Maraquin.

Speaker 8 Welcome to Barely Famous again.

Speaker 8 Happy to have you.

Speaker 8 Before we get to the reason why you came on Barely Famous today, I want to start at the beginning with our story and then also how you know Lauren got involved, how Elijah is, you know, here, turning points in our dynamic.

Speaker 8 And then we'll get into, you know, I hate to call it an announcement because I don't think that's what it is, but the reason you're here.

Speaker 8 So,

Speaker 8 and also before we get attacked for us not working and having real jobs, for those of the listeners who don't know, you've been in the military for 13 years,

Speaker 2 12 years.

Speaker 8 So you joined in what year?

Speaker 2 2012, December of 2012.

Speaker 8 Okay. And then from there,

Speaker 8 you got stationed in delaware yep and that's how we ended up here in delaware

Speaker 8 and you don't want to get out i do not it's going to be a full career and

Speaker 2 yeah i've worked too hard and i got eight years left till my retirement so i think i've made it far enough where i kind of have to ride it out yeah no for sure and i understand that but there are people who think that you don't work Yeah, there's people that don't even know I'm still in the military.

Speaker 8 What do you do react to comments like that or do you just kind of let it roll roll off i don't care do people in the military react to you having been on tv

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 my friends i mean they crack jokes here and there but they don't yeah i mean it's been so far i don't even know because i'm in a whole new career than when i started okay when i first went yeah so and then you being in delaware for as long as we

Speaker 8 have

Speaker 8 is sort of unheard of or what do you because i think what the stigma is or what people know about the military is that a lot of people move all the time and it's usually like a two-year rotation, right?

Speaker 8 Like you're stationed somewhere for two years, you move, so on and so forth.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Um, my first six years were active duty, and then I got out because I didn't want to move.
Um, in that time, I opened up the gym, and then I went into the reserve side of the house.

Speaker 2 And then, a guy that came to my gym offered me a job back in active duty, and he was like, I can put you, you can stay here in Delaware. So, I was like, Okay, can't pass that up.

Speaker 2 And then, since then, from year six to 12 now, I've exhausted all my positions in Delaware that I could take and stay here.

Speaker 8 And what's the difference between active duty and reserves?

Speaker 2 Active duty was full-time and reserves part-time, essentially.

Speaker 8 So you went from full-time to part-time to full-time again?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 8 Okay, but you worked pretty much every job you possibly can in Delaware. So now, what did they do?

Speaker 8 They came to you and they were like, It's time for you to go or how does that what does that look like?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they would have they would have said hey, it's time if you want to stay in this so I'm recruiting now. So if you want to stay stay in recruiting, stay in this job.

Speaker 2 You need to grow and you need to, you can't do the same. Basically, we're all capped out.
So once you're in this job, you're capped out at three years. That's when I was started in Dover.

Speaker 2 I was like, okay, well, can I take the Newark spot, Newark, Delaware, for those that don't know? They gave me Newark, and now I'm capped out here. So there's no other place, no other job I can take.

Speaker 8 So even if a recruiter does a good job in the area they're at, they still have to move. Yes.
Why?

Speaker 8 Because if you're doing a good job in this area, they want to see you grow okay well go do it over here okay so what was i actually got we talked i think last year at this point or i guess it would have been the year before i don't really remember and we talked and you were like hey like i i i think it's about to be that time where we're gonna have to move yeah and i had said that depending on where you went that i would attempt to try to go as well because i couldn't picture um

Speaker 8 a life for Lincoln

Speaker 8 any other way than 50-50. So at that time, I didn't know if I thought it was real or if it was like, oh, you guys have decided that you want to move.
I didn't really know what that looked like.

Speaker 8 And then you and I didn't talk about it again for a long time. So I just sort of put it in the back of my mind and never thought about it again.

Speaker 8 So fast forward to,

Speaker 8 you know, you, you have two more kids. You're with Lauren.

Speaker 8 And 2024, I mean, for people who have watched Teen Mom, they know that the dynamics between myself and Javi and myself and Lauren and Javi have been a little rocky I would say and you know fast forward to 2024 we go to Spain for the kids to play soccer and I felt like that was a little bit of a turning point for the relationship as parents do you would you agree with that yeah I mean we were in a situation where we were just kind of

Speaker 2 forced to spend more time than we either one of us thought we were going to I mean I didn't think you know, you and your hotel situation ended up being the way it did and then you ended up in the same hotel.

Speaker 2 So we

Speaker 2 were kind of stuck in the same place so we were gonna you know make the best of it for the kids sake i mean we traveled 10 hours to madrid we're not gonna make it

Speaker 8 crap yeah i mean i think that was the first time that lauren and i were able to be in the same place at the same time and have a conversation and be there for the kids without any outside opinions, conversations, anything like that.

Speaker 8 And then you got to spend time,

Speaker 8 maybe unintentionally, with Elijah, which actually worked out, I feel like, to benefit the kids. I got really sick.

Speaker 8 I had strep throat and you, Lauren, and Elisha took the kids outside to go play soccer. And I saw y'all from my hotel room.

Speaker 8 Like I looked down at the field and you guys were all playing and I thought that was really cool because

Speaker 8 I guess I just never, I didn't know what to expect for Spain in general. And then I also didn't know what to expect with everyone in such close proximity.

Speaker 8 So I think it really ended up being pretty cool. Right.
Like you and Elisha got along.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure. I mean, we definitely got along.
I mean, hey, let's make the best best of this and let's figure this out.

Speaker 2 And it worked in Madrid. It worked in Madrid.

Speaker 8 I think you spent more time with Elijah than I did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. How do you feel now? Good.
I mean,

Speaker 2 Lincoln's with you guys half the time. So it was nice to spend, you know, some quality time and see who this man is around Lincoln.

Speaker 8 And how did you feel about Lauren and I getting along in Spain?

Speaker 2 It was nice. I mean, it was.

Speaker 2 It was fine. I mean, I'm glad, like I said, I'm glad everyone was able to

Speaker 2 put all the difference. There's a lot of,

Speaker 2 there was a lot throughout the years that everyone went through. So it was,

Speaker 2 I mean, for that trip, it was good that we were all able to just put it behind us and,

Speaker 2 hey, we're here. Let's cheer on the kids.
Let's all go. Let's figure this out.
Right. So it was good.

Speaker 8 So how do you feel today about it?

Speaker 2 A little mixed, if I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker 8 Okay, tell me why.

Speaker 2 It's hard, right? Because I thought we were at a place where we were good in Madrid.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, we come home and things were said, and I had to send you an email the week after.

Speaker 2 So for us, it was like, damn, we just had this good week. We thought we were turning a leaf.

Speaker 2 And here we are back to what we knew where we were.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So that's why for me, it's just kind of

Speaker 2 I want to make sure that boundary line is, not that we've crossed it for years, right?

Speaker 2 We, we, I think we figured out that boundary line, but I want to make sure the civil, I don't know how to put it in the words, the civilness or the

Speaker 2 us being able to say hello to each other is

Speaker 2 strictly for Lincoln

Speaker 2 at that point. So I don't know how to say it in the words, but that's how I feel.
It was just like, damn, we were here, come back home, and it's back to.

Speaker 2 back to what we thought it was.

Speaker 8 So when we got back from Spain, for anyone who's listening and doesn't know, I was having a conversation and I had said something on the podcast.

Speaker 8 I also thought that I was speaking so vaguely that I didn't think that people would know what I was talking about.

Speaker 8 And so in some ways, for me to say it in the first place, I thought, okay, nobody will know.

Speaker 8 I literally, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I literally left you a voicemail sobbing because I was so upset over it.

Speaker 8 And I don't know if Lauren ever heard it or if y'all ever listened to it, but like I was truly sobbing, so upset beside myself.

Speaker 8 And I remember calling the producers of the show and I was like, you know, we made so much progress. Like, how could I let this happen? So I still stand by that.

Speaker 8 Like I, to this day, I mean, Lauren's here, you're here. And I'm sorry.
Like, I'm telling you to, to your face, because I just, I was kicking myself for it because I shouldn't.

Speaker 8 It's hard because when people tell me to get a real job and they, you know, they say this, that, and the third, I'm like, well, I have been paid to talk about my life for 15 years now.

Speaker 8 And so that adds a very complicated layer for me. And I have to tread lightly.

Speaker 8 And so in order to engage in conversations on my podcast, whether it be with Lindsay or Becky or whoever, it is very hard for me.

Speaker 8 So I try to make them vague and then I forget that people that are in my life and in the situation know that it's about them. Does that make sense? So I'm not justifying it by any means.

Speaker 8 I'm just trying to explain for the listeners or anyone to understand where Javi is coming from.

Speaker 8 because I do think that it's fair for you to have those feelings is that, you know, we made progress and I was the reason why we took a step back from that progress. And

Speaker 8 it, I would, I would agree with you when you say it's a little, would you say it was complicated or mixed emotions?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just feel like I always have to have my guard up. Like I feel like

Speaker 2 when, like in Madrid, okay, we put it down. Hey, let's have a good time.
We went to the amusement park together and hey, Flex wants to stay, you know, stuff like that.

Speaker 2 So I feel like when we let our guard down, or me, I'll speak for me specifically when I let my guard down and it's like, damn, we're here. And since you brought that up, I don't want to cut you off.

Speaker 2 So I'm trying to think of my thoughts as you come.

Speaker 2 So, it's like in that instance, when you're saying what you did, it's like you were saying you were trying to say it vaguely so that you didn't think other people would understand it.

Speaker 2 But I know who you're talking about, so I know it's me. So, even if other people don't know what you're talking about, I do.

Speaker 2 So, for me, it's like, damn, if we're taking steps forward, can I make an example? So, it makes all make sense. Wah, wah.

Speaker 2 For example, for me, I feel like that's a running joke that I hear constantly from you, from your friends, or for

Speaker 2 so I get it. You know, you got you got a job, and it's funny to you, but for me, that caused a lot of pain between us.
It caused a lot of pain in my life, my personal life, with my family.

Speaker 2 So for me to constantly hear jokes coming from you, I just feel like it's disrespectful for me when I'm thinking we're all, we might not be coming together, but we're

Speaker 9 level.

Speaker 2 So anytime I hear those types of jokes, it's like, damn.

Speaker 2 You might not specifically be shooting them at me. No, yeah, but it just, it sparks outside world of

Speaker 2 this is still funny or Javi still did that years ago when it's like that is behind me for you know i made all this work to get it behind me so stuff like that just frustrates me so that's why coming here it's uncomfortable it's just like i took myself out of the tv world for a long time and it's just it just sucks i think that's fair i mean i didn't know the wawa jokes were like

Speaker 8 i don't ever think of them just in terms of you i mean i wrote about waw this is fucked up i wrote about wawa in my first book in 2014 about something that occurred there and then i also talked to mic podcast about something that happened with that Wawa.

Speaker 8 So like, for me, it's more than that. It's just like, just the fact that people associate me with Wawa, it's never directed at you.
Like it never has been, at least on my end.

Speaker 8 You'll be glad to know that Wawa is out officially and Royal Farms is in. So we are, we are

Speaker 8 very much going to be downplaying all the Wawa stuff. So that's out.

Speaker 8 So if that's any consolation to you, and I don't want to disrespect you in any way, and I want this to be, especially with the things that are about to happen i definitely want to respect you and respect that so now that i know that i'm not going to participate in wah wa jokes and you have my word on that and so does lauren and so does everyone in this room so you know moving forward i i won't do that

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Speaker 8 Moving on to that, I have some questions that i

Speaker 8 you know those like crazy 3 a.m your mind is racing kind of questions um aside from spain and the wawa conversation right and feeling mixed emotions right

Speaker 2 how do you think that we have done both you and me but then also lauren and elijah have done collectively as co-parents for the last year or two yeah co-parents specifically i think it's been great i mean i think it's i think madrid i think it was important actually i think it was important you saw the way Lauren was with just the kids in general and then vice versa it was important for me to see how Elijah was.

Speaker 2 I mean I've never heard him say more than two words prior to Madrid. So to be in Madrid, no offense, but like he's just a quiet guy.

Speaker 2 So like when we're in Madrid and you know being able to play soccer, I didn't even know he knew how to play sports.

Speaker 2 Not that he's not athletic, but you know, it was cool to be in that environment where I know Lincoln is okay on the other side.

Speaker 2 I mean, because it was always, hey, I have to trust whoever you bring into his life that you're making the right decision. And same thing for me.

Speaker 2 So to be able to see that firsthand, I think that's where it was good for everybody to see everyone interacting with all the kids. So I think co-parenting wise, it's fine.

Speaker 2 If I need something for Lincoln, hit you up or hit Elite and Elijah will bring it. And there's no awkwardness.
I don't think there's no,

Speaker 2 and vice versa, I don't think you've needed anything from Lauren. But I'm sure if you did, I don't know, but I'm sure if you did, I'm sure it would be fine.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, I, it felt good knowing that

Speaker 8 I didn't have anything to worry about. And not that I really ever did.
I think it was always like we were really young when you and I were married and divorced. We were very young.

Speaker 8 And I think that we, you and I don't get a lot, a lot of grace for that. Like, I think that people still want to hold our past against us.

Speaker 8 And, you know, people want to remember us how we used to be and not now.

Speaker 8 And I think that, you know, seeing it all firsthand, you and Lauren together and with the kids and, you know, you guys have welcomed Lux in, you know, to go to the amusement park and stuff or stay at the amusement park.

Speaker 8 It was really nice for me because at one point you texted in a group chat and was like, oh God, what'd I say?

Speaker 2 What are you about to say?

Speaker 8 No, it was with Elijah.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 And you said something along the line, like, I didn't know Elijah could run like that or something or play soccer like that. Like, I think it surprised you.

Speaker 8 And so it was just, it was nice that because I was sick, so I couldn't even be down there. And so it was.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Sorry. Just to be clear,

Speaker 8 we're talking about Spain. And so you had, you said you didn't know Elijah could play like that.

Speaker 8 And I don't know, it felt good for me too, because our dynamic is so different than, you know, what our dynamic used to be and so Elijah getting involved with the kids that way and playing out on the soccer field with you guys I think Lauren was out there it was nice for me too because he wants to be a part of the crew I think you know with with being a sports parent but because our dynamic is different with the babies and things like that he doesn't get to go to all the stuff and so it was nice for me to see him interact with you and Lauren and the kids so I say all that to say that I think that

Speaker 8 Spain really opened my eyes and I think that was a turning point for me and how I felt you know, about Lauren and, you know, making sure that Lincoln's best interest is always top of mind.

Speaker 2 I think prior to Madrid, we were struggling with Lincoln because he thought we were,

Speaker 2 all four of us were always clashing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so he got away with, or tried to get away with a couple of things, doing things differently here, coming to our house and saying and doing things differently so that me and you would clash and be like, well, he's saying this, he's saying this over here.

Speaker 2 So, okay, so, you know, so then I think Madrid helped that and being okay well four of them are getting along so i don't know getting along but all four of them are have my best interest so we're trying to get lincoln in my experience with co-parenting with joe with you with chris i definitely and i don't want to speak for all kids i just want to speak for like my situations

Speaker 8 i have noticed that when you and i are on the outs Lincoln knows. We don't have to say anything.
He doesn't have to hear anything, but he knows. Same for Isaac.

Speaker 8 When Joe and I aren't getting along, Isaac knows. And I think that human nature,

Speaker 8 whether the child knows they're doing it or not,

Speaker 8 subconsciously will pit them against each other to see what they can get away with. And I think that's a common theme from what I've read online too.
Like, it is common.

Speaker 8 It's not uncommon for kids to do that. But I definitely think that you and I have done a pretty good job tackling that once we see it starting to bubble up.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 And I think for the since Spain, I've seen a change in Lincoln, like not worried.

Speaker 8 He did know that I was coming to record with you today. He's like, am I in trouble? Because he, he was like, you guys get together when I'm in trouble.

Speaker 8 And I'm like, no, we're always going to be united for you, but it's nothing you have to worry about. You're not in trouble.
And he was like, oh, okay. So he, you know, he feels better.
But

Speaker 8 how do you feel?

Speaker 8 I mean, I kind of already asked you, but how do you feel today about Elijah towards Elijah?

Speaker 2 Good. I mean, with what's going to go down, I mean, I feel like

Speaker 2 a bigger layer of trust has to to be there and i genuinely you know i'm at peace and i'm okay knowing that lincoln has him and he's gonna be okay right

Speaker 8 okay i think that's fair um where do you think we could improve as co-parents

Speaker 2 co-parents specifically well we're only co-parents yeah no i just mean like if we could just avoid the the talking on the you know the jokes and stuff like that i think it would co-parenting isn't an issue jokes on the podcast or jokes in life no no no on the podcast just like about like past past stuff.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, yeah. We don't joke like, no, no, no, I just mean like the past because it's hard for me.

Speaker 2 I tell you, like, well, I don't tell you all the time, but like when I hear those jokes, it's hard for me to then, oh, okay, I have to go, we have to go be nice at basketball or soccer.

Speaker 2 You know, the kids played soccer on the same team this year. So it was just like, you know, it was just hard for me.

Speaker 2 So Eli and Lux are on the same, well, they played on the same team and I was coaching them. So it was, so, yeah, it was just,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 8 Are you aware of how much Lux looks up to you? Like, do you know?

Speaker 2 Even after soccer, Lauren said I was mean.

Speaker 2 Lauren said I'm a mean coach. Did he tell you?

Speaker 8 No, I've never heard that, but I mean, he looks up to you a lot. So I was

Speaker 8 a little nervous about Lux playing for you because I've only ever seen you coach Lincoln.

Speaker 8 And Eli and Lux love each other. Like they get along.
They always have.

Speaker 8 So even when things were rocky, it would be like a little bit awkward at like games and stuff because they would be playing and none of us wanted to talk to each other. And so it was,

Speaker 8 and I don't know if Spain was the reason but i felt more comfortable with um you know lux being on the same team as eli and you know playing for you and now they're on another team um playing together and i feel i feel pretty good about it and i think that we can you know keep those boundaries in place while they get to be kids on the same soccer team yeah do you feel the same yeah yeah i mean the the past team it kind of took me back

Speaker 2 to like the mlt days where like everything was just kind of clashed and it was like

Speaker 2 One, I've realized coaching that team that I do not like coaching at all. Why? Too much stress, too much the

Speaker 2 high expectations I've been told.

Speaker 2 And sometimes my voice, the way I come off or come across the field, like it's just very, I just think I'm loud and I'm positive, but I've been told it doesn't come off that way. I don't know.

Speaker 2 So it's just, you know, I never want to make a kid feel bad, but it's just, I have, maybe I'm just, I don't know, high standards. I don't know.
I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done.
I'm done coaching.

Speaker 8 You're not even going to coach Eli?

Speaker 2 No. Okay.

Speaker 8 I mean, maybe it's for the best. You guys know it's in the best interest of Eli, so I want to go ahead and

Speaker 2 let me anyway.

Speaker 8 Maybe Lauren should coach.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so

Speaker 8 she feels what I feel. That all being said,

Speaker 8 your time in Delaware has come to an end. And so you're moving out of Delaware this summer.

Speaker 8 What does that look like for you? And what was the decision-making process there? Like, how did you decide where you're going, when you're going, et cetera?

Speaker 8 How does it look like for me in like a professional standpoint yeah so you're gonna continue recruiting i'm assuming

Speaker 2 okay yeah and basically what happens was we already kind of touched on it my time was coming up so it was like okay well where can i go what are my options um so virginia came up and after talking about it with lauren we felt like that was probably

Speaker 2 best case scenario didn't know what was going to happen with lincoln um

Speaker 2 we thought worst case scenario we're at least driving distance we don't have to jump on a plane or anything like that

Speaker 2 So it was,

Speaker 2 hey, take Virginia, or when your time does come up, when your three-year mark hits, you're going to get

Speaker 2 whatever's on the table.

Speaker 8 So it could have been like, my not North Dakota.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it could have been California, whatever was on the table at that time. So I wouldn't have any, I would have to pick out of whatever's on there.

Speaker 8 Knowing that there could be an even closer base at that time. Like you picked Virginia, but like you didn't want to risk.
whether it was a closer one or one that's even further away, right?

Speaker 2 Like if say when your third, when your three years came up, you could have been like, well, you're going to be closer because, so how it works is positions come out every month.

Speaker 2 So you see who's applying, you see who gets those positions. So the Maryland and New Jerseys just got there.

Speaker 2 So I knew they had three years there, at least at a minimum, before those positions would open up again. So I was like, okay, well, that's taken me off the board for those.

Speaker 2 So what's left? And then it was like, well, Virginia's coming up. I was like, okay, well, that's the next closest.
That's probably the best case scenario.

Speaker 2 So I didn't want to take that risk of waiting to the end, of either deciding, hey, we're moving to wherever, or I got to get out.

Speaker 2 And I don't think getting out was an option for me.

Speaker 8 Was this decision influenced at all by creating more distance between you and me or Elijah and myself and you and Lauren?

Speaker 2 No, this is

Speaker 2 strictly professional work-wise. I mean, the military has done so many good things for all of us.
I mean, it pays for Lincoln's health insurance. It'll pay for some of his school when he gets there.

Speaker 2 I've been in for 12 years. I've worked too hard to get to where I'm at as far as rank and all that stuff, where I'm sitting at the table.
I'm really good at it.

Speaker 2 No, no, for sure.

Speaker 8 And I don't want to dismiss that you're good at your job.

Speaker 8 I just didn't know if the thought process behind leaving earlier than, you know, your three-year mark was, okay, this would create distance between

Speaker 8 the families, basically.

Speaker 2 No, the thought process, decision-making, was strictly,

Speaker 2 hey, I need to take my career into my own hands before they tell me this is all you got left.

Speaker 8 Right, because I mean, you had a plane ride in there. I mean, that would create a whole new situation if you, if you would have won.

Speaker 2 That would have been way different than what it are, what we came to.

Speaker 8 A plane ride would have just, yeah, that would have exacerbated any pain that we're already going through.

Speaker 2 It would have been tough.

Speaker 8 So, when you let me know that you were going to Virginia, we sort of, I don't want to say went at it because I don't think we argued about it, but it was definitely.

Speaker 2 Okay.

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Speaker 2 You don't think you said it not me?

Speaker 8 I don't think it could have gone any other way. Like, I don't think that there, yes, we went at it, but I don't think that there was going to be an easier conversation.

Speaker 8 Like there was no way to make it any easier. So we disagreed,

Speaker 8 I think on several occasions about what was going to happen. And so.

Speaker 2 So like when I brought it to you, obviously the initial emotions and all that kicking in, everyone's angry. Okay, let's let it dust off.
And then how'd you feel? Or what was your mind?

Speaker 2 What did you think? Because I told you basically I wanted Lincoln. I think I told you I wanted Lincoln for the school year.

Speaker 2 Or I might have not said that, but I told you I thought Lincoln was not better because this is a shitty situation. It's not like you have two shitty parents and it's it's it's a dope-brainer, right?

Speaker 2 He's he's he He deserved to be with this parent more than this parent, right? I feel like it was down the middle. I simply just took it as I thought my connection with Lincoln was

Speaker 2 a little bit more crucial at the age he's at to be with me.

Speaker 2 I don't want to say more important. It was more crucial to be with me now for the next three years or whatever than it was to stay.

Speaker 2 So that was my standpoint, and that's how I was looking at it when I approached you. How'd you feel?

Speaker 8 I also felt that way. I felt like

Speaker 8 given his age, because we started having this conversation when he was 10.

Speaker 8 So my thought process was,

Speaker 8 okay, this will be an entirely different conversation at 10 and 13. So my thought was, okay, if he goes, he gets stationed somewhere, Lincoln stays with me.

Speaker 8 And at 13, we would basically reevaluate the situation. And if he said, I want to go live with my dad, I just think it would be a different conversation.

Speaker 8 So that's sort of where we basically were thinking the same thing, in my opinion. And so, and I think that both of us are valid in our feelings.
I think both of our points are valid.

Speaker 8 I think that, and I agree with you that, I mean, Lincoln has only ever known 50-50. This has always been, and if you ever wanted a week on my time, I'd give it to you and vice versa.

Speaker 8 So we've always worked together in that way.

Speaker 8 And so when you're going to court for relocation and you have two parents that are always doing what's in the best interest of their children and we don't really,

Speaker 8 like co-parenting for us, I feel like, I don't want to say it's been easy. That's, I don't, because it hasn't been easy, but we always put Lincoln first.

Speaker 8 So when you have two parents that are both doing their very best, it's so hard. And I just, I couldn't imagine putting that in a judge's hands.
Like, I couldn't.

Speaker 8 So, when we, we were in Disney, Elijah and I took the kids to Disney and we had our, I guess it was like a case review or like a pre-trial, you and me, with the judge.

Speaker 8 And the judge was just like, he was brutal.

Speaker 2 He was, he was. I was very discouraged after that call.
I'm not going to lie. I was very discouraged.

Speaker 2 Well, after that call, I was like, I think I told Lauren, I was like, this, this this sucks I'm not gonna get nothing this judge is like what is it well me and you butted head let's backtrack a little bit if you don't mind yeah yeah me and you butted heads because you felt and correct me if I'm wrong that Lincoln shouldn't have been involved

Speaker 2 maybe what was it like the

Speaker 8 you didn't want me to tell him or you didn't want me to or you didn't want him to know something like that I did not want you to tell him when you told him And I thought that we were on the same page about telling him at the same time, like we were going to be together when we told him.

Speaker 8 So when you told it, you were like, you emailed me and you were like, I'm telling him. I was really upset by that.

Speaker 8 Because we are so good,

Speaker 8 I just felt like if we were, if we were united about it, whatever that looked like, it would have just set a better example.

Speaker 8 Because I think at that point, he thought that we were kind of going against each other. And I didn't know if he knew how to feel about it.

Speaker 8 And I didn't want him to feel like, oh, when I'm at my dad's, I want to tell my dad. I think he wants to hear that I want to go with him.

Speaker 8 But then when I'm at my my mom's i think she wants to hear that i want to stay with her and so that's what i was afraid of

Speaker 8 i i'll be honest with you i i think that is what set the judge off that you told him fair well yeah that's what he said but where i was coming from with that was

Speaker 2 my

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 path of moving forward with custody was going to be based off of his answer right and so if he would have said

Speaker 2 it was either school year or summer because let's get that i I think both of our attorneys said, hey, this is.

Speaker 3 There's no other way to do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is the baseline. So one parent is going to get school and one parent's going to get summer.
We'll figure out the holidays. So it was, okay,

Speaker 2 that's at a minimum. So it was like, okay, Link, this is the situation.
It wasn't if, if I'm moving, it's this is, I'm moving.

Speaker 2 How do you feel about it?

Speaker 2 This is it. School year, who do you, where do you want to go? Because based off of his answer was going to be my driving factor of, hey, is this even a fight I'm going to put up?

Speaker 2 Or if he says, hey, I want to stay with my mom, okay, well, then what am I fighting for? If you don't want to come with me, that's how I took it. So if he would have said that, then I don't need it.

Speaker 2 Why am I going to spend thousands on an attorney and put this in a judge's hand? So for me, when he was like, no, I want to go with you,

Speaker 2 and it's hard. I get it.

Speaker 2 He's telling you one thing, he wants to stay with you. He's telling us he wants to go with us.
And I can only, I can't imagine the emotions and feelings an 11-year-old is going through.

Speaker 2 So for him to say, hey, I want to go with you, it's like, okay, well, I'm going to do everything I can. It's just a pain that is, this is a feeling that it's, it's a shitty feeling for everybody.

Speaker 2 And it sucks because he's like, he cries with me and he cries with you. It was the same, right? So he would go to sleep

Speaker 2 and I'm just like, hey, are you okay? You know, and he'll just start crying. And I want to go with you.
And I know I'm doing, you know, let me handle that.

Speaker 2 I'm doing everything I can.

Speaker 2 You just got to let it ride out.

Speaker 2 And so that was my driving force as to why I thought I needed to tell Lincoln. So, and then when we get to the, with the judge, it was, he was like, oh, well,

Speaker 2 why does he even tell him or something like that? I'm like, I just don't get it. I don't understand it.

Speaker 2 No, how can I, how can you not,

Speaker 2 Lincoln's not Lux or Creed's age, right? I get that. If they're that little, but Lincoln's 11 or 10 at the time, whatever he was, how can you not get his opinion on it?

Speaker 8 I

Speaker 8 didn't want to get his opinion on it at his age, even 11, because I do think that

Speaker 8 because he was breaking down to me, you know, and not to put all of Lincoln's business out there, but he was breaking down to me about wanting to stay.

Speaker 8 And then, and then towards like closer to now, not right now, but closer to now, it's he, I, I think he's torn because we're back to being okay. Like you and I are getting along.
We're co-parenting.

Speaker 8 Everyone's copacthetic.

Speaker 2 So he's torn with what would happen.

Speaker 8 I think that closer to now, because we haven't talked about it in a long time. I think that he's.

Speaker 8 it maybe hasn't sunk in for him. Like he doesn't realize what's about to happen.

Speaker 8 But I, my apprehension about telling him at his age was that it was going to weigh in on him the way that it did, right? Like it played out exactly how I thought it would,

Speaker 8 which was that he was going to cry to you and also cry to me about staying and leaving. He's never had to make a choice, right? Like he's never had to choose between parents.

Speaker 8 And that was sort of, I think, what the judge was getting at:

Speaker 8 we're putting adult decisions on him so young, right? Like, it wasn't like asking a 13-year-old who's about to go to high school. It was asking, you know, a fourth, fifth grader how

Speaker 8 what they want and i i just think at that point it maybe we could have gone to him and say hey this is what we're doing and not really given him the choice because if it if he feels like the choice is up to him he knows that he's going to disappoint one of us by not saying what one of us wants to hear does that make sense am i making sense but correct me if i'm wrong we couldn't get with him together because we didn't agree on what each other wanted.

Speaker 2 I can't remember. Like I thought we argued.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I don't, because I remember we couldn't tell him together because we weren't agreeing on something. I don't remember exactly.

Speaker 8 I think it was that. I think it was like.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I think you, you didn't want to tell him, and I did. I said, well, I'm going to tell him.
He's my son. You know,

Speaker 2 I think that might have been it.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I was very discouraged after that. The judge came in and he was hot.
And he was, I don't think, I don't think he was anti-military, but he was just like, oh, well, he's going to move.

Speaker 2 I felt very discouraged.

Speaker 8 I do think that if it went to trial, it would have been a lot harder for the judge to decide once he sees, okay, both of these parents are perfectly fine. They're perfectly capable.

Speaker 8 They're financially sound. They're emotionally there.
They're physically, you know what I mean? I think that it would have been a very hard decision for him to make.

Speaker 8 So I think, and I don't want to speak for the judge because I don't know him, but being that you were the one to move and it's sort of the closest option. I think

Speaker 8 if I had to guess, maybe that's why he was. thinking that way.
Like, okay, you're moving. It's close.
It's within driving distance. We can make this work.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I thought I was losing the battle. And not to put it in that tense, but I thought when we went met at mediation, I felt kind of backed in a corner, honestly.

Speaker 2 If I'm being honest, I felt like I was in a corner. I remember I called Lauren crying, saying, This, I have to take it.

Speaker 2 If it goes to a judge, I'm gonna lose. If it goes to a judge, it's gonna be worse.
And we can get into the details of that.

Speaker 2 We don't fast forward, but I thought I felt like I was in a corner by the time we met in that mediation room.

Speaker 8 How do you feel now?

Speaker 2 Conflicting. Part of me doesn't understand.

Speaker 2 So we agreed in one year, whatever Lincoln says, that's kind of right. So it was like, how does one year different one year make that much of a difference that that's what you fought for?

Speaker 2 I think it's your.

Speaker 2 Does that make sense?

Speaker 8 Well, for me, yeah, I think it makes sense. I understand what you're saying, but I think for me, it's you guys have never lived there.
Don't know if you're going to like it.

Speaker 8 If there is a possibility for you to leave. at any point after you get there and you're like, we hate it here.
What if you guys decide that you're going to come back?

Speaker 8 That's like my, not that I wish on your downfall. And Lauren, please don't take it that way.
I'm talking to both of you. It's like,

Speaker 8 I don't wish on your downfall, but like in a perfect world, I want Lincoln to have 50-50 until he graduates high school, right? Like that for me, it's like, okay, what if you guys go and you hate it?

Speaker 8 I mean, I'm never going to say that to Lincoln, but

Speaker 8 you know, and second to that is, you know, I do think it's a different conversation when he's a little bit older. That is sort of where I'm at.

Speaker 8 And we talked about how he's in the same school this year and he'll be in the same school next year.

Speaker 8 At the point that he's done with school in sixth grade and transitioning anyway, I think it makes more sense.

Speaker 8 And I also think that I do understand that a father's presence in a boy's life or a young man's life is very important.

Speaker 8 But I also think that there is a very small window for some mother-son relationships to sort of develop a little bit. And so I...

Speaker 8 My hope is that I will have, you know, if he decides at the end of next year that he wants to go with you, I will feel confident in our and secure, that our relationship is secure no matter what and so that when he leaves to go with you like it's not going to change anything between us and so I think that one extra year um

Speaker 8 for me and him will be beneficial to not just me but to him and and I know that you guys have your your bond and and you guys bond over sports and you know I know Lauren's into sports and things like that and so I just think the transition period in everyone's lives a year from now makes more sense

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Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I struggle. Part of my argument before we even went to mediation was I struggle with,

Speaker 2 I told told you your career so like the way the custody is written out here is you'll have them school year I don't know if you want to say talk details but you'll have

Speaker 2 you'll have them school year I'll have them summer and then all the holidays and three days in between so it's like okay

Speaker 2 you're gonna be the primary but just like I'm putting my career you know this is what I gotta do for my career same as you right you're busy

Speaker 2 you know your network and everything's blowing up which is great

Speaker 8 but for you to want that bond how are you gonna do that at the point that I knew that you were moving and I'm not going to have 50-50, I also don't have 50-50 with Lux and Crete either. So

Speaker 8 this sort of opened my eyes to I have to scale back my travel. So there's no other option.

Speaker 8 And I try to do it when I, you know, if there's a three-day weekend and I know that the kids are going to be with you or with Chris or, you know, whatever that looks like, that's when I try to do my three-day.

Speaker 8 Obviously, it's not always going to pan out that way, but I try to make sure that I'm in and I'm out. I'm not flying.
I'm not getting on planes. I'm not touring.

Speaker 8 I canceled all my tour dates for the first six months of the year.

Speaker 8 I, this opened my eyes because I said, okay, well, at the end of the day, my relationship with my son comes first and co-parenting with you has to come second in a circumstance like this. So,

Speaker 8 you know, I say all that to say that we both have to do what we have to do for our careers.

Speaker 8 And I don't think that either one of us can expect the other one to, you know, just get out of the military or just stop traveling altogether, right?

Speaker 8 Because at the end of the day, we have to have these finances in order to be able to put Lincoln first and to be able to come together to do all of this stuff. So,

Speaker 8 I mean, I don't want to say that I'm hopeful that you guys aren't going to like it, but I just, maybe there's a chance you'll come back.

Speaker 2 There's nowhere for me to come back to. That's the problem.
There's nowhere for me to come back.

Speaker 8 If there was, would you come back?

Speaker 8 Man, would you consider it?

Speaker 2 Recruiting, it's yeah, I mean, everything's always up for consideration. I mean, hey, we'll give you a strike, you know, E8 if you take over or, you know, stuff like that.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 You know, only my ball,

Speaker 2 there's a career path for me. And what that looks like, I don't know yet.
I just know right now, I got to go crushing in Virginia. Right.

Speaker 2 So I know right now, the next step of my career is, hey, we know you're going to go crushing in Virginia. Go crushing in Virginia.
That's what we need you to do right now.

Speaker 2 Okay, so once Virginia is up, what's next?

Speaker 2 Where do you guys need me? Right?

Speaker 2 And so that's where I struggle. And

Speaker 2 honestly, for you, right, it's, and

Speaker 2 same for me. I got to be okay with it too.
Lincoln's going to come to an age where the custody we have he's not going to want to go back and forth, right? So

Speaker 8 Can I cut you off right there? Sure. I don't know about that

Speaker 8 because I mean even Isaac who I would

Speaker 8 for for a short while there he wanted to be with me full-time right, but he flat out told me that Even though he wants to be with me full-time, he's never gonna not go to his dad's like he doesn't ever want to do that to his dad, right?

Speaker 2 So, I mean, it's possible that he, maybe, maybe it's not exactly 50-50, but at the point that he's driving and he's able to go back and forth kind of as he sees fit but i'm seeing it more of like getting older and puberty and girls and friends and like you know the custody damn every holiday i gotta go to virginia or i gotta go back to delaware and like i got friends here like i don't even get to spend the summer with my friends here or i don't get to see vice versa so he's gonna get to an age where we're gonna have to come back together and say hey and even with the current custody it might be a lot on him so yeah we did the best we could and gave each other what we thought best case scenario but it might be a lot on him to travel it and he might say hey this is a lot of travel

Speaker 2 name that me and you got to come back together say hey this this is putting a toll on him what would what would you do if i

Speaker 8 emailed you guys tomorrow and said i'm filing to relocate to virginia

Speaker 2 That's almost impossible. Like, let's be real.

Speaker 8 I'm just asking.

Speaker 2 But, like, that's a hypothetical. That's not going to happen.

Speaker 8 No, I'm saying, how would you feel about it? How would you feel if I said, because I feel like there has to be some

Speaker 8 excitement about just getting away from the situation and you know not crossing paths ever right so

Speaker 2 would you how would you feel about that would you be okay with it for Lincoln or would you be like oh no that's too close for comfort not even too but like Virginia's not gonna be forever home so not only is it impossible for your custody with all the kids you have why would you follow

Speaker 2 you know, you're following me. Why would you do that?

Speaker 8 For Lincoln. And I told my lawyer this, and she was not really thrilled about it, but I was like, I cannot imagine a world without 50-50 for Lincoln.
That is where I'm coming from.

Speaker 8 I already don't have 50-50 with Lux and Creed, right?

Speaker 8 Elisha was already stationed where you're going. He was already there.
So to me, I was like, okay, well,

Speaker 8 is it a far stretch for me to say, okay, well, then, and Chris doesn't live in Delaware. So he's already out of the state.
So my thought was, okay,

Speaker 8 could I make it work where I

Speaker 8 relocate to Virginia so that Lincoln still, I can't imagine one, my household without him and two, you know, not him not having 50-50. So that was sort of my thought process.

Speaker 8 And my attorney was like, that is not realistic for you, but that's where my mind went for Lincoln because

Speaker 8 why not? That's sort of where I was at.

Speaker 8 I mean, now I know based on how the judge reacted, it's not going to go well for me either if I tried, no matter where it was, Virginia, New Jersey, no matter what, I think the judge would be like, you've lost your mind.

Speaker 8 But I would be lying to you if I didn't say, well, that absolutely crossed my mind just so that Lincoln could have 50-50. It's not like I have 50-50 with all of them.

Speaker 8 Do you know, do you get what I'm saying? Like where I'm coming from on this?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, no, I hear you. Yeah, I mean, not having 50-50, Lincoln is tough.
And

Speaker 2 talking with Lincoln about it now, it's like, okay, you know, I ask him, are you okay? How are you feeling? Because the time is getting closer.

Speaker 2 And you know, I talked to him and said, listen, nothing's going to change.

Speaker 2 We're going to do our best. I'm not going to be able to come every weekend to all your stuff, but I'm going to do my best to.

Speaker 2 I'm still your dad. And, you know, we figure it out.
So not having 50, do you want to talk about what we, how mediation went?

Speaker 2 How do you think that we went in? How do you think when you went into mediation? It went.

Speaker 8 I didn't know what was going to happen, truly. I didn't know that you felt backed into a corner.

Speaker 8 I think when we saw all the dates on paper and looking at school year versus summer and holidays and three-day weekends, it became so real to me.

Speaker 8 And I don't think that there was, I don't think it could have gone better, but I also don't, I think it could have been significantly worse.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, I thought before we went up to mediation, I, for whatever reason, I was taken under the impression that

Speaker 2 you we I was gonna get to school here

Speaker 2 and just based off of you know things you were saying like oh summer camp in Virginia you know I'll bring Alex I was like okay which I'm doing well I was just like okay well for whatever reason I was getting under the impression that okay maybe she she's you know things cooled off she's calm and I was gonna get to school year you were gonna get to summer so when I went in there

Speaker 2 I thought I had a pretty good offer. It was, hey,

Speaker 2 here are all the dates. Yeah, yeah, here are all the dates.
And you just weren't budging.

Speaker 8 Neither were you.

Speaker 2 I mean, you were just stone cold. You were just arguing back and forth.
I was like, damn, I thought this was a good deal. This is a sweet deal.

Speaker 2 So then when you weren't budging, I was like, okay, well, it was just mediation didn't go well. For whatever reason, I thought it was well.

Speaker 8 You don't think it went well?

Speaker 2 Yeah, at the end, because I had no choice.

Speaker 8 But you didn't give me the decision that day. You didn't tell your, you didn't give us a decision that day.
You said you were going to go think about it.

Speaker 8 And so at that point, I was like, oh, we're going to trial.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know why I got that feeling, man. I just thought there was things you said that I was like, okay, I felt good about it.

Speaker 2 I was like, okay, maybe we're going to go to mediation and she's going to say, you know, you take the school and I'll take the summer and we'll figure out the holidays in between. I think,

Speaker 2 did you even consider it, honestly?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I did. But I think my, the deciding factor for this summer versus school year, which is what I was about to say anyways, is that I have 50-50 summers.
If I got summers and you got school year,

Speaker 8 out of the 12 weeks in the summertime, he would only see Lux and Creed six weeks out of the entire year because I don't, I give the holidays to Joe and Chris. So, spring break,

Speaker 8 fall break if there is one, and Christmas break all go to Chris and Joe. So, I'm not, even if I got Lincoln on those weeks, the brothers and sisters, the his brothers wouldn't be there.
So,

Speaker 8 me fighting for Lincoln during the school year was so that he could still continue to have that relationship with his brothers for right now. And I think,

Speaker 8 you know, for

Speaker 8 the time being, I think it's crucial for him. Not saying that Eli is not important because he absolutely is, but I know that, you know, Lux and Lincoln have a bond as well.

Speaker 8 And he's, they're closer in age.

Speaker 8 And so if you remove Lincoln from the school year and he was only here in the summer, he's only having them, he's only going to be around them for six, six weeks out of the entire year.

Speaker 8 So that was a point to consider. If Lincoln goes with you for the summertime, he has the entire summer with Eli and Macy.

Speaker 8 And I do, I do understand the point that, like, as he gets older and puberty and friends and, you know, driving, and I know that you don't, I've tried to bring it up to you before, but like, that's going to come quick, right?

Speaker 8 So to me, I was just trying to, you know,

Speaker 8 soak up these last like year, maybe two, if that, like,

Speaker 8 of developing our relationship, the security in our relationships, bonding with the brothers, because I do think that there is a very high chance, if not an almost certain chance, that he will decide to go with you next year.

Speaker 8 And so, just making sure that everything is,

Speaker 8 you know, he has that extra time with his brothers for, you know, one last school year.

Speaker 2 Yeah. In a situation like this, it's.

Speaker 2 Nobody wins. Nobody wins.

Speaker 8 So me getting the school year is not a win. And I know that you might view it differently, but it's not a win.
It's not a win for either of us. And it's not a win for the siblings.

Speaker 8 And it's not a win for Lincoln.

Speaker 2 It can go both ways as far as, you know, you want to hit the bond with your side, your kids. And then.
Same thing with us. Eli is all he knows.
Such an amazing note. So Eli is all he knows.

Speaker 2 So to wrap my head around where, hey, you're not going to have him for the school year, right? Now he he knows, hey, when's Bubba coming home, stuff like that. So

Speaker 2 my take in mediation was, I felt like that was your driving force instead of looking at from where I was coming from of

Speaker 2 just Lincoln, what is the best case scenario for Lincoln

Speaker 2 with the parent, right? So I thought I had a strong argument of he needed to be with me, taking the kids out of it, although it is a factor in it, right? You're going to play it in it.

Speaker 2 But the majority of it was which parent is going to, for this first year, be the best to help them adapt, help them transition into whatever we decided.

Speaker 2 And that's why I went, when I went into mediation and you weren't budging, I was like, well, this sucks. This is not how I thought it was going to go, honestly.
And that's why I fell in a corner.

Speaker 2 So when I asked you to step out with your attorney or whenever you guys went out, you know, I was crying.

Speaker 8 I called me too. I went in the bathrooms, bowing my eyes out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I called Lauren and I said, this is it.

Speaker 2 I have to take it if it goes to a judge i'm gonna get half of what i'm getting right now that's how i felt i'll get the summer right no judge in their right mind is gonna

Speaker 2 give me every holiday

Speaker 2 but i pretty much did and i just thought lincoln getting out of delaware was just crucial for these middle school years there's just i'm

Speaker 2 it's you know take I'm excited to grow out of that, get out of Delaware. I don't know if you love Delaware that much.

Speaker 8 I don't have a choice. We're all here because of you.

Speaker 8 So, and that's, I think, too, like thinking about, and, and not that I am here to speak for Joe and his family or even V and her family, but like, I think us coming to Delaware has spider webbed into something so much bigger that none of us can control.

Speaker 8 Right. And like, I don't make my day-to-day decisions off you and Lauren, and I don't make my day-to-day decisions off of Joe and V and vice versa.

Speaker 8 Like, I don't, I can't expect you guys to make your decisions off of us, but I think that there is something to be said about what is, what we have created. Um,

Speaker 8 and that is the spider web. So, if you pull on the spider spider web on one side, that entire spider web is having a ripple effect, right?

Speaker 8 Because Joe moved here, his mom moved here, V moved here for Joe, V's sister just moved here. So there is so many layers to this.
And I think it's nobody's fault, right?

Speaker 8 It's just the circumstances of life and the phases of life that we're going through. It's like, in order to progress in your career, you have to move, but

Speaker 8 it sucks because the rest of us don't have the option to relocate. So it's like, you get to relocate and you are excited to leave.

Speaker 8 I would have left a long time ago if it was up to me because my career could soar in Atlanta, Texas, California, New York. Like my career could have flourished, but I don't have a choice.

Speaker 8 You get the choice of leaving and we don't.

Speaker 8 So that's sort of where it's tricky because I hear you when you say you want to get Lincoln out of here, but at the same time, Lincoln doesn't know any different. He was born here.

Speaker 8 He's been raised here.

Speaker 2 And so we know different.

Speaker 2 Not to cut you off. We know

Speaker 2 life is better out of Delaware. And so like you knew whenever we got married that I was joining the military and that was always a possibility.

Speaker 2 I've just been lucky for 12 years that I've been blessed to be able to stay here. Joe knew that when he missed.

Speaker 2 So that can't fall on me because eventually it's kind of like breaking generational trauma. Eventually, hey, you understand the career field that I'm in.

Speaker 8 But I don't think that they ever thought that it was a possibility that we would, like, say you and I stayed married.

Speaker 8 I don't think that anyone thought, I mean, your parents moved here, your sister moved here, your brother moved closer.

Speaker 8 Military is a different story, but but I honestly don't think that it ever crossed their mind that you could be stationed again somewhere else.

Speaker 2 But like, I'm just in facts of you saying the ripple, like, oh, his mom moved here, his sister moved here. That's their own decisions, right? So, like, no, of course.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, but like, you can't, but that's not. I'm not blaming you.

Speaker 8 I don't want it to come across as like me blaming you. What I'm saying is that

Speaker 8 you and I know that we both

Speaker 8 would have moved out of Delaware, right? But the circumstances didn't allow it. Now the circumstances have allowed you to move, but the rest of us can't.
Like we literally can't.

Speaker 8 Because I know after talking to the judge when we went to our pretrial, I understand now that I have zero, slim, slim to none chances of being able to move out of Delaware. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so that, just knowing how much better life would be outside of Delaware, that's what I wanted to give Lincoln, right? That's better sports. I complained to you about sports, where we put him.

Speaker 2 We've tried, we've gone up and down the state trying to find just a good program, just good coaches. And we're driving an hour up north.
That didn't work out. We thought it was bad.
We tried here.

Speaker 2 That's not enough for him, right? So it was just for me, that's how I, that was part of my reasoning.

Speaker 2 There's nothing in Delaware where he's thriving that he can't get equal to or better, hopefully, in Virginia.

Speaker 8 But now you have the opportunity for this next year to test it out with Eli. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Silver linings.

Speaker 8 In terms of co-parenting, do do you think that you lauren myself and elijah are solid enough to be doing this we don't have a choice but do you think that we're solid enough to do what we need to do for lincoln over state lines all right you guys thank you so much for tuning in to part one part two is dropping on tuesday and i'm super excited for you guys to hear who else is on part two if you could please respect and give us some grace during this time and also just be kind in the comments the feedback we're real people with real feelings we're trying to come together the best we can for our son and to raise our family peacefully.

Speaker 8 So if we could just keep the comments respectful, that would be super great. And we'll see you on Tuesday.

Speaker 12 All right, I may not be as funny as Nikki Glazer.

Speaker 8 I want to pitch a series of like calendars where men are just crying in a therapist's office or punching a pillow and working out their anger towards their dad.

Speaker 12 But I do have my moments. I actually have full conversations.
With the moon, yes. I try to keep it pretty balanced on this podcast.
A little fun dance between comedy, therapy, self-medicating.

Speaker 12 Oh, and sorry if you haven't guessed. Hi, I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine Podcast, where we like to just keep things loose and keep them raw and keep them real.

Speaker 12 Like when we have listeners call in and give confessions.

Speaker 9 And then that glass of wine progressed into me becoming a unicorn for them.

Speaker 12 But we do, and I promise you this: try to keep it honest and vulnerable. So jump on the wagon, not off, grab your favorite bottle of wine, preferably Spade and Sparrows, and join the Vinos.

Speaker 12 Have yourself a time. The Off the Vine podcast is available wherever you get your podcasts.

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