Hey Big Guy: Jake Cornell

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Speaker 5 Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.

Speaker 5 It's your fade villain, Kale Wower.

Speaker 5 And you're listening to Barely Famous.

Speaker 5 All right, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Barely Famous.
Today we have Jake Tornell, influencer, comedian, actor, all the things.

Speaker 5 And also one of the best New York gays.

Speaker 1 I can't call myself that, but I'll take the compliment. Thank you.
You can't call yourself that?

Speaker 1 I think you can't claim you should be like, if I were like, I'm one of the best New York gays, like you can't do that, you know?

Speaker 5 Okay, so I can't say like I'm one of the best podcasters.

Speaker 1 No, that's different. That's like a vocation.
I can't claim like the best of an identity, I feel like. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 For fear of like what would the reaction from the other New York gays would be. Also, that's like an incredible population to say you're the best of.
Like some of of the

Speaker 1 best artists in the world. So like, I mean, like, I think you're one of the best.
Well, that's, I'll take the compliment. Thank you so much.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 So I first came across you on TikTok for being funny and being a comedian, and I love that. But where did you start before TikTok and before comedy in general?

Speaker 5 Were you always funny or did you sort of like learn to be funny?

Speaker 1 I guess like the answer is both. Okay.
Like I'm originally from New England. I'm from Rhode Island originally, which is like where my whole family is.

Speaker 5 That's part of New England.

Speaker 5 I thought it was the Midwest. Rhode Island? Like the top, like by Michigan?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 Hold on, let me pull the map really quick.

Speaker 1 I look crazy.

Speaker 5 It's not like I'm not dumb. So hold on a second.
Where

Speaker 5 I think I'm thinking of like the Great Lakes, maybe.

Speaker 1 So do you know it's not an island?

Speaker 5 Absolutely not. It's not an island.

Speaker 1 So it's a little state between, like, it's under Massachusetts next to Connecticut. It's like, kind of like where like the part of Massachusetts that like.

Speaker 5 Wait, where are you in comparison to Delaware?

Speaker 1 Are you looking at a map? Yeah. So, do you have you found it yet?

Speaker 1 I'm asking.

Speaker 1 Hold on, because they're all so small. So, do you see where Massachusetts is the one that has like the elephant trunk that kind of swings out?

Speaker 5 I'm trying, okay.

Speaker 5 It keeps pulling up Rhode Island, but I need to see it on Google like a map of America.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then do you know where Maine is? Like the top, the like horse.

Speaker 5 Okay, see, oh, it's right next to Connecticut. Yeah, oh, okay.
So, Delaware is far.

Speaker 1 I thought it was far, quite far, yeah.

Speaker 5 Okay, so where I thought Rhode Island was was like the little sort of island looking thing.

Speaker 1 The Upper Peninsula of Michigan?

Speaker 5 Yes. Okay.
That's what I thought.

Speaker 1 No, that's the Upper Peninsula. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 That's not a state, though.

Speaker 1 No, it's, no, it's part of Michigan.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay, cool. So they just call that region the Upper Peninsula.
And Rhode Island is not an island.

Speaker 1 Correct. There's some islands off of it, but it is, it's part of mainland America.

Speaker 5 Okay. So you started comedy and just everything in Rhode Island.

Speaker 1 No, no. So I'm originally from Rhode Island and then we moved to Vermont when I was like six.
Also back and forth. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then I was back and forth a lot. And I guess that's to say, like, I come from like a funny family.
Like everyone's loud.

Speaker 1 My mom's side of the family is like half Jewish, half Irish, Irish Catholic, like very loud, very like. kind of everyone's roasting each other.

Speaker 5 From trauma or just naturally?

Speaker 1 You know, I think a wintry mix of both.

Speaker 1 Not the blizzard.

Speaker 1 But and then my dad's side of the family is funny too. But like I think there was like a natural proclivity towards like humor in my family.

Speaker 1 And then, I, they, and then, like, I think also moving to like a small town rural area from like a fairly like metropolitan area for sure kind of like forced me to you know use my skills to get people to like me.

Speaker 1 So, I think and then also being like the only gay guy in like a small town. I think all that led to me being like funny.

Speaker 1 But then when I moved to New York, I moved to New York like almost 11 years ago to be a like an actor and a comedian and a performer. And I think I had to learn how to like

Speaker 1 do it in a like professional and consistent way and like perform it. Like, how do I take how I, I know I can be funny.

Speaker 1 Like, I remember I used to really feel like I know I can be funny, like, at the bar with a bunch of people, like, shooting the shit, whatever.

Speaker 1 But, like, doing that in a way that is like translating into writing a script or performing on stage or doing an improv scene, like that took a lot of trial and error and learning and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 So it was like a mix of both. But I started at the Upright Citizens Brigade.
Do you know what that is? No.

Speaker 1 It's like a, it's like a, um, it's a comedy theater that was, that it's reopened since, but it was like a huge comedy theater in New York back in like the early 2000s, 2010s. Okay.

Speaker 1 And I started as a student there and then became a performer on their like their like main stage shows. Sure.
And then I did that for years and kind of until the pandemic.

Speaker 1 And then that was when I couldn't be performing live anymore. I started making videos online to kind of fill that gap.
Okay. And then that kind of changed my career a lot, got a lot more eyes on me.

Speaker 1 And then I kind of transitioned back into live performance once stages were open again. And then I kind of just kept doing both.

Speaker 5 I was so taken aback because I've had podcast guests on here that are so completely different than who they are online. And I think that comes with the territory, right?

Speaker 5 Because so many people, they gain fame and notoriety on social media without even trying. Yeah.

Speaker 5 From the time that you walked in the door here until you're sitting here right now, I'm like, you're the same person online.

Speaker 1 Thank you. That means that's really, that's genuinely very nice to hear.

Speaker 5 I just love it. And I was cracking up.
First of all, how old are you? 32. Okay, so we're the same age.

Speaker 5 So while you were like taking off on your career, I was getting, I was like giving birth yeah you know what i mean so he was like oh is totally is you know i was telling him about isaac who's 15 you know the listeners my listeners already know but your audience might not know completely different um

Speaker 5 audiences for sure and jake was like oh is he your only and i said i have seven kids

Speaker 5 and you're like no yeah if i had seven kids at our age

Speaker 5 Like I was giving birth and you're like launching your entire career.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, how the fuck did I get it?

Speaker 5 you were doing both let's be clear i mean i don't know it's not like you don't have a career

Speaker 1 okay so you're did your tick tock take off sort of just on its own like just naturally then yeah and i started posting really early days like i started posting on tick tock in 2020 so okay it was like there weren't as many people on it so like if you made a video that was funny like it was getting a lot of views right no

Speaker 1 i was making i was just thinking making funny videos my i first the first video i posted i actually didn't post on tick tock because like tick tock to me felt early days like it was not for me the kind of videos that were being posted there that were really funny were more like absurdist and weird.

Speaker 1 Or like, that's what I was watching. And I was like, oh, like, I don't think my, my stuff would translate there as well.
So I was posting it on Instagram.

Speaker 1 And then someone was like, you should be posting this on TikTok. And I was like, oh, I guess so.
And then I made a couple of TikToks. They did really well.
And so I just kept posting there.

Speaker 1 And yet, my TikTok grew really quickly. Again, because there just weren't, I don't think there were that many people posting there.

Speaker 1 And I, and then my Instagram followed shortly after. And then, yeah, it just kind of kept growing, which was amazing.

Speaker 5 So what does that mean for you and the the TikTok band? Like, how do you feel about it? Are you going to be super affected? Are you upset? Do you not necessarily care?

Speaker 5 Like, where are you at with that?

Speaker 1 I'm upset for, like, I think it's scary that the government is like taking a thing away and like with like when clearly the population doesn't want it.

Speaker 1 And like, I think that like, there's scary things about that. For sure.

Speaker 1 And I think that a lot of people are going to be really negatively affected. Like, I overlight, I overall think it is like a net bad for sure.
I agree.

Speaker 1 In terms of like me and my career, like, fortunately, I also have Instagram.

Speaker 1 And I also, my whole thing from the beginning was like, I never want, like, the reason I was like, I prefer comedian over influencer is like, I never wanted to be like a social media personality or like an influencer.

Speaker 1 That's not my passion.

Speaker 5 It's like your bread and butter, right? Like, it's in addition to what you're already doing.

Speaker 1 Right. And so I always, I always had like a personal rule of like, I don't view that part of my

Speaker 1 life as my job. Like, okay.
I like the videos I post. I mean, you've seen them.
I, it's literally me walking down the street talking into my headphone mic.

Speaker 1 And that's really is as simple as it's always been. It's like, I'll be walking to the gym, get an idea, talk into my mic for a minute, and then post it.
That's really.

Speaker 5 You said you're walking to the gym. So you already worked out on the way to the gym.
So do you really have to go to the gym?

Speaker 5 That's like two workouts in one day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's my warm-up. Let's call it my warm-up.

Speaker 5 I could never.

Speaker 1 I love walking. I should, but I walk a lot.
But I think that's also part, but, but to that end, like, it's not like I'm losing my creative outlet. Like, I'm very fortunate that I'm performing live.

Speaker 1 I'm writing projects. I'm acting, like, I'm doing other things.
Um, it's mostly helpful for me to sell tickets to my live shows. So hopefully I can keep doing that on Instagram.

Speaker 1 And hopefully, people who see me live can come, can will tell other people, go see him live or podcasts or whatever. Um, so yeah, it's, I have complicated feelings about it.

Speaker 1 I feel fortunate that I don't personally feel like I'm losing my job.

Speaker 5 Right. But we also can recognize that this is, you know, not this.

Speaker 5 TikTok is a place where people are, you know, funding their entire lifestyles and also taking care of their families with the funds of TikTok.

Speaker 1 So don't disagree for a second.

Speaker 5 We're fortunate that we have other places, but some people don't.

Speaker 5 And I do feel like that is so sad for, and I want to advocate and give a voice to the people who are making their income on TikTok because, I mean, for the people that say it's not a real job, they're paying in real money.

Speaker 1 I know. It's such an interesting.

Speaker 1 argument. It's weird, right?

Speaker 5 Like it is a weird place to be. And I can understand, you know, where people are like, oh, that's not a real job, but it is.

Speaker 5 And I do get upset for the people who are like, oh, I can't wait for the TikTok ban so you can go get a real job. But at the end of the day, like, TikTok is putting stress.

Speaker 1 And also, why is that more of a real job than answering emails all day?

Speaker 5 Or like a call center?

Speaker 1 Like, I just don't, it's never made sense to me. Um,

Speaker 1 I understand like what about it angers people, so they say that, but the actual argument of like it not I don't understand what art what angers are,

Speaker 1 yeah. Like, do I think it has like insane perks? Yes.
Do I think that, but, but the,

Speaker 1 do I also think it's like absurd that like you can make X thousands of dollars off of posting one one minute video? You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 But that's not our fault. Correct.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 the system exists. It's also like there are other things.
It's like health insurance is absurd. Yet, like, in my opinion, yet working for health insurance companies is.
still a real job. I don't know.

Speaker 1 That wasn't even the most sound argument. But it sort of is.
I don't know. Like, it's just, it's an it's if you do something that pays you money, I think it is innately a job.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, so there's that.

Speaker 5 Yeah. No, I agree with everything you're saying.

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Speaker 5 Do you see yourself being in New York for the long haul?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do. I mean, I would leave if like I booked a show in LA or if I booked, you know, I would go do that, but like New York is home for sure.

Speaker 5 You're an East Coaster. I am too.
Just like born and raised on the East Coast. I like to go to LA in very small increments of time, but I'm just not a West Coast girly.

Speaker 1 I love the West Coast. It's not, for me, it's, I always say when people do like the kind of New York versus LA thing, my thing is it's not about being anti-LA.
It's just that New York is my home.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, it's like, it's not about not, it's not about not wanting to be somewhere else.
It's about not wanting to not be here. Yeah, no, I get that.
I can get that. That's it.

Speaker 5 I'm about three hours from New York. Yeah.
And I'm here so much. And I really hated it at first because I didn't, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's overwhelming. It's also not for everyone.

Speaker 1 I think that's the other thing is that I think people feel with New York that it's like, it's a, it's a morally virtuous thing to want to live here or it's a cool thing to want to live here.

Speaker 1 It's a cool thing.

Speaker 1 It's like a, like a, a good personality trait to have lived here. And I'm like, it's just not for everyone.
You know what I mean? It's a good personality trait.

Speaker 1 I feel like people do it to be like, you know, I wanted to be able to say I lived in New York. And like, people, I feel like you'll hear that a lot as someone who's moving.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, I came here, I did the New York thing. I wanted to say I lived here for a few years.
And I'm like, that's weird to me.

Speaker 5 Yeah. It's like not the right intention.

Speaker 1 That's not how people talk about other places. No one's like, you know what? Like, I wanted to, you know, I did the thing.
I moved to Skokie. I wanted to say I lived in Skokie for.

Speaker 1 It's like, what the fuck is Skokie? It's a suburb of Chicago. I don't know why that was the first name that came out of my head.
But it's like, you know, I just think it's like an interesting thing.

Speaker 1 And I also, it's like, no, like, I don't, I think like the purpose of living somewhere is, I, unless you like have to live there for whatever X, Y, Z reason is to like invest in, invest in a community, invest in a place emotionally, like, and, and interpersonally.

Speaker 1 And if you're moving here just to like, say, you were here for a few years and then leaves, you're kind of just a leech, in my opinion. So that I get, I can kind of see that.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I will say that

Speaker 5 people that I've encountered in New York, not people I know, but just like random people on the street are very different than the people that I have encountered in LA just on a regular day.

Speaker 1 I think the watching what they've done for each other, like coming out for each other. Oh, 100%.
Right now, I think disproves a lot of that.

Speaker 1 But I understand, I think there are people in every city like that. And I think social media, entertainment highlights those people more than more than other people, like disproportionately.

Speaker 5 Yeah. No, that's fair.
I think that's fair.

Speaker 5 In terms of, you know, social media and being a comedian and an actor, do you feel like anyone has ever not given you a chance or not taken you seriously because of sort of how you came into comedy and becoming an actor?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that, like, I mean, I think that you have like a little bit more

Speaker 1 to prove in certain ways. And I do think, but like, I don't, I guess like with that, I don't try to think about it too much because I'm not really in control of it.
Right. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 All I can do is be good and let that speak for itself. I think the thing I get a lot that always makes me laugh is like,

Speaker 1 you know, and like, like people will come see me live. I've been touring since, since last July.
So I've been, I've been doing, I've done it. You're not burnt out? No, I love it.
I love it.

Speaker 5 I'm burnt out. I canceled all my tours for the first half of this year because I'm burnt the fuck out.

Speaker 1 You also have seven kids. You know what I mean? That makes sense.

Speaker 5 But they're not on tour with me.

Speaker 1 But that's still part of your, like, you have a lot more, you have a lot more responsibilities than me, like, objectively. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I think that, like, I have, like, I can just hop on a plane. Like, I don't have to worry.
Like, you know what I mean? It's so

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 but this is all to say. So like, I've met, like, hundreds of people who have come to my shows and stuff.
And I'm so thankful for them to come.

Speaker 1 And it's so funny because, but so often what they'll say is like, you know, we didn't know if you were going to be good because we haven't.

Speaker 1 And I only have just now, I was really, really bad for a long time about taping my live stuff and putting it online. Like, okay.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I understand if you watch kind of to, oh, you were talking about that off Mike's, but like kind of telling, like, people don't always translate outside of like the box they put themselves on.

Speaker 5 Oh, we can talk about that.

Speaker 5 I've had, I was telling Jake off camera, I was saying like, I've had podcast guests that it's, some of them are really difficult sometimes because you see them on social media and then they don't translate the same way on the podcast.

Speaker 1 Outside of their own channel or outside of their own production.

Speaker 5 And so I do, I do want to have TikTokers on, right?

Speaker 5 People who are doing so well on TikTok, I would love to have a conversation with them, but sometimes they don't know how to answer a question or they're not giving me energy.

Speaker 5 And I have to feed off of their energy. It's the same way I would imagine for comedy and crowd work or anything like that.

Speaker 5 If you're not having a good audience, that is going to directly impact the energy that you have and the jokes that you tell or whatever that looks like. It's a back and forth.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 a lot of times after shows, people are like, that was so great. We were nervous it wasn't going to be like, or like we didn't know.
Or like, I'm actually so surprised.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's funny because for me, I've been doing, I've been on stage longer than I've been online you know what I mean like I've been doing comedy live for 11 years I've been doing posting videos online for four five I mean coming up on five so it's like to me I'm like yeah it makes sense to me why you would think that and I actually kind of like it I like that people I would rather people come and be like oh shit he's good at what he does like and I feel like it's his other side of me people don't the internet like a lot of people in New York know about it and a lot of people who've seen me across the country now touring have seen it but like showing people like oh there's a different side to me that's that's not talking to a microphone on the on my phone that is also has something to offer.

Speaker 1 And it's been fun to like see that. And it's fun that it's a surprise for some people.
But I would like to eventually get to be known for that side more because it's what I care about more.

Speaker 5 Yeah, absolutely. And I think, well, there's a lot to be said for the people who might have come across you on their For You page or something and they see you there first.

Speaker 5 And so that they don't know what to expect when they get to a live show versus your fan base that you had prior to TikTok or socials that have seen you live and then follow you on socials.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I think now it's kind of a bit both where like people see me live and join in or

Speaker 1 it's fun to see how it's like evolving and how it will continue to evolve.

Speaker 5 Can we talk about your characters?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So you have Gay Brooklyn Dad? I did

Speaker 1 Gay Brooklyn Dad for a long time. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Can we talk about what's his personality?

Speaker 1 Gay Brooklyn Dad is like

Speaker 1 very

Speaker 5 does he have a name?

Speaker 1 I've never named him. Okay.
But I've named all the other people in his life. But his whole thing is very, you know, he's, it's like, he's like the Brooklyn version of keeping up with the Joneses.

Speaker 1 you know what i mean he's very like he's very concerned about making sure that he's like on top of the trends that he's like doing the cool things that he's like making that he is kind of maintaining social status within this like wealthy tier of like brooklyn parents that i feel like back i mean it was inspired by when i was still working in restaurants and i was encountering these people and especially like during the pandemic like watching what was like what were like the top of people's priorities like was really crazy to me you know what i mean really yeah and i think like that was where i started making those videos and it was it was it was a really fun those videos were so fun to do like that whole period is that like a server or bartender or waitresses version of being like a fly on the wall like people watching but in the restaurant industry i mean that's like that's so much of the job is like yeah people watching because you it's not even watching because you're interacting with them right so it's unintentional essentially it's like but it's like you're watching you're hearing you're conversing and you're like talking to people who would like you would probably never encounter in your day-to-day life because you live in such different parts of New York not even geographically just like social echelon wise right um that it's like it's just really interesting to see I just remember I remember like a feeling back then of like when people were coming back from the pandemic like I just feel like everyone's crazy was like 60% more out like people's masks were a little bit more off and like I'd be like you guys are fucking nuts no 100% oh yeah great I was like yeah you guys are fucking nuts like and it was just funny like like some of the I remember like when those videos were doing like were kind of like really going because like I most of those videos I did like four years ago now, when those were like really going around, like some of the lines that people would quote most to me, I'd be like, that is a direct quote from someone in the restaurant.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd even make that up.

Speaker 1 Like, like, I remember like one of the classic ones, I had another character that I did really early on that was like a kooky lady who was going to restaurants during COVID.

Speaker 1 And like, she looked at me one time and she holding a glass of wine. Mind you, this was like early pandemic days.
And she was like, I have to say, I am loving this pandemic lifestyle.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I was like, I can't.

Speaker 5 People are dying, kids. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like my face, like the face crack, I was like,

Speaker 1 what do I say?

Speaker 5 Like, like, what do you say?

Speaker 1 So that was like a lot of those videos came from just like literally being immersed in, because everyone else was still at home. It was like restaurant workers are considered essential workers.

Speaker 1 So I was like out there with all my restaurant coworkers and like, like the subways during that time were really crazy because it was like restaurant workers, nurses, and like city. tradespeople.

Speaker 1 And like, that was it. So like the subway had like such a different vibe.

Speaker 1 It was honestly kind of nice because it was like, everyone was like pretty cool and then all these loony tunes who were at these going to restaurants not the loony tunes yeah i don't think so i live in delaware so there's we only have chain restaurants i talk about this all the time so frustrating because there's no mom them pop places i know that's hard it is true i've noticed that like touring have you been to delaware or like philly because philly is about an hour from i've been to i did shows in philly but like there new york has the chain restaurants like right in the center like in your time square like your atlantic terminal but like obviously when you go out like coal and the wall are the best ones totally but like it's been interesting being in some of like the smaller cities and being like oh yeah like in some of these towns like the place to go is like the on the border oh we don't even have one of those our red robin just shut down i'm devastated but before they did that they took the freaking baked potato soup off the menu that's tough why would they do that clearly they were struggling they also put in a mini chilies like 40 minutes away why would you put in a mini chilies we literally don't have anything else and i don't have anywhere i love chilies like why would you do a mini what is i don't even what does that mean what do you mean mini chilies it's like um like a kiosk Like, can you sit?

Speaker 5 Like, like, it's like a, like, half the size of a regular chili's.

Speaker 1 Does it have to be a silver? You can sit.

Speaker 5 It has the same menu.

Speaker 5 It's like mainly for to-go. And if you go inside, they want to flip the tables even faster than they would in a regular chili's.

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 5 So it's really upsetting because it's like, we, the people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want to soak in the ambiance of the chilies for a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, I need the triple dipper in the full

Speaker 5 chilies essence.

Speaker 1 Well, especially like chilies food is not something you want to eat quickly because you're already getting like one of the worst tummy aches of your life that day.

Speaker 1 So like if you eat it fast, it's like i have to let it marinate for a second before i leave because i have no friction in my pants so it's like there's only so much emodium in the world you know

Speaker 5 you get me yeah

Speaker 5 i truly do actually like one of the guests that we had yesterday she was like um where should we go eat in times square and i said i'm pretty sure that's all chain restaurants pretty much in times square i mean you could get like the no it kind of is yeah And I used to, when I come to New York, I would just stay in Times Square because it was so centrally located to everywhere I needed to go.

Speaker 5 But being in Harlem has been really nice. A nice little change of pace.
I actually love it here.

Speaker 5 Oh my God. I got Indian food last night and I was so excited about it.
We also had Peruvian food yesterday for lunch and I'm like, Delaware could never.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I don't know about Rhode Island. Do they have good food there?

Speaker 1 Rhode Island has good food. Rhode Island has good food.
I've never been.

Speaker 5 Did you go to school in Rhode Island?

Speaker 1 It's in Vermont, UVI. Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 I went to school in Delaware. So it's just been.
sort of slow. The Amish built my house and I have a little farm.
So it's just very different than New York.

Speaker 1 That's cute, though.

Speaker 5 Yeah. My kids don't help with the farm, though.
That's probably not cute. Sure.

Speaker 5 Would you ever make a character based off my life with like a woman with seven kids?

Speaker 1 It's to be honest, that is, your life is so different than mine that I don't even know that I understand it well enough to be able to like do a character of it. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Like I, the idea of having will you make a joke about me on stage?

Speaker 1 I could, but I like you. I don't have a, I don't, I'm not feeling a compulsion to like make fun of you in any way.

Speaker 5 Why? I just, I want someone to think I'm a big deal. You are a big deal, but I told the author yesterday she killed a plumber and one of a plumber that she had work for her.

Speaker 1 In one of her books.

Speaker 5 Yeah, she was like, I hated him and I killed him in a book.

Speaker 1 Like, I want that.

Speaker 5 Like, kill me in a book. Name a character after me, something.

Speaker 1 That's amazing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
I'm worthy. Yeah.
No, you're good.

Speaker 5 If you bring me up in New York, just let me know. Like, this is for you.
And I'll be like, perfect. Actually, I'll just come to one of you.
When's your next show?

Speaker 1 Tomorrow.

Speaker 5 Are you fucking kidding me? What time? 7.30. Are you fucking? I have to leave at 2 o'clock.

Speaker 1 The next time I'm going to be able to do that. I want to do a comedy show at 10 in the morning.

Speaker 5 Oh, I guess that's not the ambiance. That's not

Speaker 1 the vibe.

Speaker 5 Okay, fair. But next show, I would love to come.
I think that would be so fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should come.

Speaker 5 I've never been to a New York comedy show. I've been to comedy shows in LA.

Speaker 5 And then I went in Philly because it's so close to us. Okay, so talk about your shows in February.

Speaker 1 February 4th and 5th. Okay.
I'm doing Joe's Pub in New York City, which is my favorite place to perform. Two nights.

Speaker 1 It's the hour I've been touring. Really fun.
And then I'm doing four shows in New Orleans Valentine's Day weekend. So the 14th and 15th of February.
I'll be in New Orleans. Come see me there.

Speaker 5 Right after the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit, really?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think the Super Bowl is the weekend before.

Speaker 1 In New Orleans? Yeah. Oh, shit.
That'll be fun. No, that'll be fun.

Speaker 5 I was going to go, but then I was like, they said it's not kid-friendly. So I was like, okay, never mind.
Yeah. We were just actually in New Orleans and it was my first time there.

Speaker 5 I had never been to Bourbon Street.

Speaker 1 I haven't been to New Orleans since I was like truly five years old. So I'm really excited.

Speaker 5 No, I was thoroughly impressed and I wish that I had more time there.

Speaker 5 So that'll be great for for me i'm super excited yeah that's really fun so what does a day in the life look like for you on like going on a tour like a tour date specifically

Speaker 1 yeah like out of state totally so i usually i i i it there's a lot of variables it depends like sometimes i'll route the shows and so i'll have like a week where i'm doing like four cities and then that's like a little bit more like really crazy right um so like And then if I'm just doing like a one-off weekend where I'm just going to like, like this weekend, I'm going to Atlanta.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 and it's like that, I make it a little bit more leisurely just to make it nice. So, like, I'm flying, and this is me, I'm also like

Speaker 1 being a little fiscally irresponsible with this because, like, I'm spending more money than I need to, but like, I'll fly out the day before,

Speaker 1 stay there, and then leave the day after. Okay, so you got a little bit more time, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, but so it usually involves like,

Speaker 1 but yeah, so basically, it's like flying there, checking into the hotel, figuring that out. Um, my show has like a the slightest bit of text.

Speaker 1 So then I usually have to get to the venue like an hour early to kind of like run over that and just get situated.

Speaker 1 And then I do the, I'll meet, I'll meet the people who are opening for me, unless I brought them, but I, oftentimes I let the

Speaker 1 venue book them. And then I'll meet them and like chat with them sometimes.

Speaker 1 do like a little kind of pace around the green room, like prepping mentally for like, just kind of like running through what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 Then I'll do the show. Then I always go out after the show and do like

Speaker 1 not a meet and greet. Like I don't charge for it, but I'll go out and like say hi to people who are waiting and want to say hi and take a picture.
And I'll do that. And that's always super fun.

Speaker 1 And then my favorite thing to do after that is I love to go out in like whatever cities I'm in, it's gay bars and just check out the gay bars and see what they're like in that town. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Cause like every town's kind of has like its own like flavor and vibe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which was your favorite?

Speaker 5 What city do you think?

Speaker 1 The standout so far outside, because like obviously like New York, I love. Yeah.
San Francisco is amazing. LA, I have like so many friends there.
So like that was super fun.

Speaker 1 The one that like kind of was like the sleeper hit was minneapolis really incredible so fun yeah have you ever done asbury pride i've been asbury park many times but i've never done asbury park pride okay i've done that that's actually where i met my asked where i met my ex-girlfriend actually no she saw me that's we didn't actually meet there um i'm gonna go this year okay fun yeah i like aspiring i love asbury park it's such a fun town um

Speaker 1 yeah so minneapolis was like my standout but yeah and that's like a normal day and then i'll come back that's just like like a hidden gem i wouldn't have expected that yeah i think it's because like I think it's because like there's a lot of rural area around it.

Speaker 1 So it's a city that pulls in all the gay people from all the those rural areas. So it becomes like a little concentrated.
Yeah. And it's like, it's just so, it was just so fun.

Speaker 1 It was this bar called saloon. It had like five different bar, like five different rooms.
There's a chicken finger stand.

Speaker 5 Oh, we go for the chicken finger.

Speaker 1 Oh, we go for the chicken finger. It's like it was so fun.
And like that, that the Minneapolis audience was like one of the best audiences I had. Like they were so fun.
Like we had such a fun show.

Speaker 1 So I was like riding high when I went out. Like it was just like a great night.

Speaker 5 Makes a a huge difference. Oh, 100%.

Speaker 5 Have you ever been to Dallas, like the gay bars in Dallas?

Speaker 1 No, the only, I've only done Austin in Texas. That's the only city I've done so far.

Speaker 5 I actually love some of the gay, the gay bars in Dallas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've heard that.

Speaker 5 I was surprised. I was impressed because, I mean, it's Texas, right? Like, I just didn't expect it.
Maybe in Austin, I would have.

Speaker 1 I think sometimes in the cities where maybe not everyone in that city is as accepting or friendly or like just LGBTQ open, the queer spaces are like that much more special and like that much more sacred and that much more like beautiful because they're like, there's a true sense of like protection and love that is happening when like people in those spaces like gather.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you know what I mean? No, 100%.
So it adds this like level of like magic to it that's like really gorgeous. So I, that, it almost like doesn't shock me.
Okay. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah.
No, I had a great time. Um, that was one of my favorite that Asbury.
I'm trying to think of any other one. I have never done like a parade.

Speaker 1 Oh, you gotta.

Speaker 5 Oh, I want to come to the New York one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, like, that's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a shit show.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 But it's fun as hell.

Speaker 5 Yeah. All parades are shit shows.
So I think that wouldn't even matter. But I, um, I've never done New York and I, I'm here all the time.
And it just, it has never aligned.

Speaker 5 And, um, I have another friend, um, also a gay male, and he is like, I don't fucking want kids. And I was like, I understand.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I know, I mean, I know gay guys who it's like really important to them to have kids.

Speaker 5 I was just telling you about the dad.

Speaker 5 The dad I follow on TikTok. He is a single gay dad.
He chose to do it by himself.

Speaker 1 Like he doesn't have a partner.

Speaker 5 Great. Happy for you.
You know what I mean? Like whatever you choose. But I also,

Speaker 5 I understand all of it. And I don't, I don't fault anybody for any of that.
But so when you, you're my age, you're 32 and you said you have a six-year-old sibling.

Speaker 5 That is so crazy to me because I think about my oldest and my youngest, right? 15 and one.

Speaker 5 He'll graduate high school. And the year later, my one-year-old will go to kindergarten.
So, but yours is an even bigger gap. So do you sort of feel

Speaker 5 like that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. So do do you feel like more of an uncle role?

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think innately a relationship becomes more like just in terms of like relationally, the term, you know, brother and sister just has to, like, it doesn't look the same for every relationship.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Right. There are aspects of how, like, my sister and I are two and a half years apart.
We have the same two parents. Okay.
We were together for everything. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So, like, there are like, there are aspects of like our personality. I mean, her and I are so different.
We're close, but we're so different. Like,

Speaker 1 there are aspects of her and I's life that, like, no one will get but her and I. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I think that is like what traditional sibling relationships people kind of think about: is like someone who experienced the same childhood you did to an extent, right? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Obviously, there's differences because, like, of age differences and gender and just time and all of that, right? But, like, no one experienced a similar childhood to me as my sister.

Speaker 1 With my brothers, they're, you know, they're 10 and

Speaker 1 14, 15, oh, no, 15 years younger than me. So

Speaker 1 that's not quite like uncle vibes, but it is like, I am their older brother. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like there's, I think there's like a, there's an age, I'm from a totally different generation than them. I was, one of them was two when I went to college.

Speaker 1 There's more of like a, there's, it feels like more of, I have like a responsibility as an adult. And then like, obviously with my youngest sister, she's, I'm literally 27 years older than her.

Speaker 1 So like that feels more like. Like in terms of like the dynamic of the relationship, I think it probably looks more like uncle, uncle niece, you know?

Speaker 5 it just gives me perspective though because i did grow up an only child and i have seven kids that there are gaps between them so it is giving me perspective um i don't know what to expect from siblings like i have no idea i i think what you said about the relationship that you have or the the same dynamic that you have with your sister who's two and a half years younger than you is sort of what i expected when i had siblings but it doesn't always play out that way right like sometimes you could be a year apart and you're just not close oh i mean me but that's the other thing me and my sister hated each other growing up My whole childhood fought like cats in boxes, like absolutely never got along.

Speaker 1 And I remember, like, I remember I went to

Speaker 1 when I went, I did, I went to college at UVM, my state school, and I only went there because it was the only school I could afford.

Speaker 1 Like, I got into my, I got into like my dream schools and couldn't afford to go to them. So I went to UVM, was like devastated about it.

Speaker 1 Didn't really like it. So then I found this really cheap program to go abroad for all of my sophomore year.

Speaker 1 And I remember like at some point in those first two years of college, my mom like kind of like sat me down or talked to me.

Speaker 1 I don't really remember like my mom let me know like your sister is really hurt about how oh it was my freshman. It was my freshman year.
It was before I went to England.

Speaker 1 My sister, my mom was like, your sister is really hurt about how rarely you call her. And I was like, why would she ever want to hear from me? That girl hates me.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was like, I could, I was like, I was like, mom, you're wrong. Like, there's no, there's no way.
I was like, there's no way. She's never said a nice thing to me in my entire life.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, almost not being hyperbolic. Like she, like, I was like, that girl hates me.
Why would I ever call her? Not even like, cause I'm mad.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, you know, it'd be like, it's just like, she doesn't like me. Why would we talk on the phone? And then it turned out like she did.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And then, like, but it was the kind of thing, but then we would talk and we would fight. Like, we just had, it took us so long to get to a place where we could be close.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And now we're super close. We still fight sometimes.
Like, there's, I mean, there's things associated. Everybody.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there's, there's also like, I think because you were children together once like my sister can do something that'll piss me off in a way like no one else will and i'll go from zero to a thousand in a way where like if my friend did the same thing it would piss me off and i'd go from zero to like 11

Speaker 1 but like siblings just do something else and so you but you learn how to navigate it as an adult was

Speaker 5 your sexuality ever a point of contention in your relationship with your sister or in your family My family was super supportive of it.

Speaker 1 Like I always say, like there was like bumps in the road of processing it, I would say, but like no one was ever going to kick me out of my house.

Speaker 1 I was never like unsafe because of my sexuality in my family. I think that like it's hard to explain.
I feel like sometimes my friends and I talk about this a lot.

Speaker 1 Talking about being like gay and closeted like longer than 10 years ago, because I've been out of the closet for almost 17 years now. Like

Speaker 1 being closeted like over 10 years ago is like hard to talk about. on like a public platform now or talk to like younger queer people now because it was such a different time.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And like I think people think about it in black and white where it's like, are people homophobic or are they not?

Speaker 1 and it's like there were people like a lot of like people in my life would make like very homophobic jokes or like make pejorative comments about gay people but like they didn't have like vitriolic hate towards queer people and they didn't have

Speaker 1 just like more like it was just culturally like mainstream movies and TVs made punchlines about gay people like you know like things like that but it was like so there was like nuances to it like I knew that gay people were still viewed as like less than, but like within my family and circles, I was like, no one's unsafe for being gay here no one's like completely rejected for being gay here no one's getting and then once i came out the level of acceptance like even ramped up even more and now my family is like very queer friendly and they but and they always were to an extent but it just was different back then it's hard to explain like there are jokes that got made in front of me before that would never be said now and also i think anytime if any of my family that said those jokes now

Speaker 1 were to hear it, they'd be horrified, but it was like normal back then and it didn't hit as percussively towards them because they weren't weren't gay what do you think the what do you think the um

Speaker 1 the change was what do you think the flip was i think that me being gay and also i think there was just a larger public conversation about like the

Speaker 5 i don't know the slight more open diet more of an open dialogue public

Speaker 1 so yeah i don't know i think that like i think there was an over correction that's happened since of like not being able to make any sort of like harsh joke about like any identity or anything like that.

Speaker 1 But back then it used, I mean, you were there, like you were a kid, you were like young then, like

Speaker 1 the humor that was we that the humor that was like mainstream humor when like you and i were like 10 to 15 16 17 was like oh you're gay hard yeah yeah yeah yeah like and things like that and so i think but like no my sister was never like you you're gay like my sister was always like super sure sure sure supportive i love that yeah yeah yeah like no one in my family was like homophobic in like a real way As far as I know, it's the same sort of experience.

Speaker 5 I have an uncle who we grew up in a really small town, like super small.

Speaker 5 And we just nobody questioned him It was like he brought a man home and it was just like totally you don't have to you don't come out as straight So we're not gonna ask you if you're which we just knew yeah

Speaker 5 But I didn't have that same experience. I had after I had my first son I think before my second son I had said to my mom and I don't have a good relationship with my mom.

Speaker 5 So I don't even know what propelled me or what

Speaker 5 made me say anything to her specifically, but I was like, I think I'm gay. And she was like, I never went through that phase.

Speaker 5 And that was the last conversation I ever had surrounding the topic of being, you know, part of the queer community or anything related to that. I just never said anything again.

Speaker 5 I was just like, okay.

Speaker 5 And just acted like it didn't happen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sucks when, like, it

Speaker 1 fortunately in my family, that was not the reaction at all.

Speaker 1 Like, but I also, I think the other thing was like, for me, when I was, like, I say this all the time, it's like, I was like a really, really effeminate child. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so I was not someone who had to come out in any sort of way that was like shocking. My coming out was more like a stopping of denying.
Like I, you know, I was called gay.

Speaker 5 But not forced out though, right?

Speaker 1 Not

Speaker 1 the thing was, like, there was nothing to out me about because I guess like I had hooked up like a few times, but like it's not like I secretly had a boyfriend or was like secretly like sucking dick behind the bleachers all the time or something.

Speaker 1 Like I just like, but like I like, I was definitely gay. And like, but like.

Speaker 1 I got called gay the first time when I was like literally five before I was like wait, but that's not, you can't, you can't sexualize a child.

Speaker 1 But I was like feminine I was like very feminine but like and I'm not talking like I'm talking about like by other five-year-old like I don't know like it was like like so it was just more of like a stopping of denying I don't even know how we got on this oh so like it wasn't I also think that was part of it is like it wasn't no one was like shocked no one was like wait what like people were kind of like I remember my mom was like I think my mom by the time I came out was like very emotionally prepared for that conversation because she knew at some point it was going to happen you know what I mean sure and I think like

Speaker 1 my sister to some extent I think like my sister sister and I, it was funny because I just don't think my sister and I at that point had any sort of rubric for having like vulnerable conversation.

Speaker 1 Like we would, all we did was like fight. So for me to sit down and like have like an open, honest moment with her, like we had no skill set for her to be like, oh, thank you for telling me.

Speaker 1 She was like, okay. Cause like all we did was fight.
So

Speaker 1 I was like, okay, cool. You cool? And she's like, yeah.
And I was like, cool. And then I like left the room.

Speaker 1 Like, I kind of remember like that being, like, I think she was in her bed and I like walked in. I'm like standing in front of her.
I was like, I'm gay. And she was like, okay.
And I was like, cool.

Speaker 1 And like walked out of the room. Like her and I just didn't have the tools to have like open and honest and vulnerable conversation.
Yeah. We do now as adults, but yeah.

Speaker 5 I remember walking into my uncle's house one time.

Speaker 5 He had gotten a new house and I was so young that I still didn't like, I knew what being gay meant, but I also like didn't put two and two together yet.

Speaker 5 And I walked in and he's showing us his room and like the whole house. It was stunning.
And I go, why do you guys have two alarm clocks?

Speaker 5 And my mom looks at me and she goes, they wake up at different times. And I just didn't, I still didn't compute.

Speaker 5 And then like later on, like weeks later I was like wait oh he's gay like I get it and I just like didn't care it was just oh because you didn't understand that they slept in the same bed they slept in the same bed they woke up at two different times but I

Speaker 5 knew that they were together but I didn't know it was a romantic real like I don't I don't think it just they've been together as long as I've been alive do you know

Speaker 1 like that's like one of those things like I think that a lot of people don't under didn't understand back then is also like it was it's not a big deal to gay kids or sorry queerness in general is not a big deal to children until adults tell them it's a big deal.

Speaker 5 It wasn't a big deal to me ever. Totally, I think my mom was just for my experience with my mom.
My mom's an asshole, right? Like, we don't have a good relationship, but she's not homophobic.

Speaker 5 I think it was just like

Speaker 5 I look back and I'm like, yikes, but also her brother's gay. Do you know what I mean? And so, it's just like,

Speaker 5 and I just didn't, it didn't compute to me, it wasn't a big deal. And so, I've just been raised around it my whole life.

Speaker 5 Um, and I think also just being around it was really, in my opinion, was helpful because it's just like, I think the people that are super, super homophobic are

Speaker 5 might be gay.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I think it's a litany of things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for me.

Speaker 1 I also think it's not unrelated.

Speaker 1 I think just in general, a lot of that shit is not unrelated to like what you were talking about earlier of people who get really mad, like people with kids who get really mad at people who don't have kids, where it's like.

Speaker 1 You're jealous of someone making a decision that you didn't think you were allowed to make.

Speaker 5 Or that they're secure in their decision. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe you're insecure enough. It's not gay enough in their life.

Speaker 1 And not even that you wanted to make that same decision, but the fact that you're seeing someone make a choice that you did not know was available to you.

Speaker 5 Or you weren't willing to, or you felt kind of pressured. Yeah, same thing.
Yeah. No, I would wholeheartedly agree with you.

Speaker 5 Are you uncomfortable with doing some takes on unpopular opinions? Sure, let's do it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Main character energy is a cute way of saying attention horror.

Speaker 1 Ooh, you know.

Speaker 1 I go both. I really go both ways on this.
I really go both ways on this because I think that like some of the most egregious shit that people do,

Speaker 1 like annoying shit that people do, especially in New York, they then cite

Speaker 1 main character energy and it's like they're cutting the line at like, they're like cutting a bathroom line being like main character energy. It's like, no, you're not being an asshole.

Speaker 1 You're being an asshole. You're fucking.
But I do think it's like helpful to view yourself.

Speaker 1 I think it's like one of those things where it's like, if you're someone who's worried about being self-centered or worried about being attention whore or worried about

Speaker 1 what? Then you are. No, I was going to say the opposite.
Okay. If you're worried about it, you probably aren't because you're being considered enough to be worried about it.

Speaker 5 That's like, you know, am I a narcissist? You're probably not if you're questioning it, you have that self-awareness.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, fair.
So it's like, I think it can be helpful for some to be like, put yourself as the main character of your own life. Like stop centering someone else, someone else's concerns.

Speaker 1 Like, so I like respect that, but I think the, I think it has been co-opted into something like demonic.

Speaker 5 I have a, my seven-year-old is.

Speaker 5 And if you ever do a deep dive in my social media, like he is true main character energy. And he says to me all the time, he's going to be in movies one day.
And I believe him.

Speaker 5 He is main character, but he's seven years old. He doesn't know what an attention whore is.
So in that way, I do also think that like, it depends on the situation.

Speaker 1 Some people just want to be a star and like are. And they are, like you, because you knew.
Thank you.

Speaker 5 You know, you knew.

Speaker 5 Are you here for the Nepo babies or you're not here for the Nepo babies?

Speaker 1 I think I'm here for people with talent doing good work. So like if someone's talented, I don't really care.

Speaker 5 I will say I wish I was a Nepo baby.

Speaker 1 I mean, who doesn't? Okay, fair. Who doesn't? Who doesn't want to have rich parents? Who doesn't want to have rich parents?

Speaker 1 I mean, like, look, like, does, do I think, like, I think sometimes when you have that, like, access access to that level of privilege, it has its own problems and maybe makes you can make, be, lead you more prone to like depression or malaise or being an asshole, like, da, da, da, sure, but like, plenty of other life circumstances can.

Speaker 1 If someone, like, if someone is talented and the work they do is good, I don't really care that they're a Nepo baby. If that's not the case, maybe I do care more.

Speaker 5 Let me look up the definition because, like, are my kids, are they like V-list Nepo babies? Your kids are Nepo babies. Like, if they have a trust fund, they're a Nepo baby.

Speaker 1 It's not, well, yes, but I think it's more so also just like,

Speaker 1 think about like, like, think, like, let's like, think about your life.

Speaker 1 Like, you were in Delaware in like a rural town and you kind of hit the lot, not you, like, you hit the lottery and like, you got on an MTV show at 16 and then were an interesting enough personality and like got did the thing and now like look where you are.

Speaker 1 Like, think about like what actual, what the shot of you having the level of success you had in the entertainment industry was like being where you were in Delaware at that, like when you were 14, like compared to what your kids are in terms of the proximity they have to like a mom with a podcast network.

Speaker 5 This says a person who gains success or opportunities through familial connections. So it's not the trust fund.
It's not the money. It's the connections.
It's not what you know. It's who you know.

Speaker 1 I think that like, I think that some people use NepoB to talk about people with rich.

Speaker 5 That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 1 I think nepotism does mean connection, but I think where it gets blurry is that rich people know rich people. So even people with rich people.

Speaker 5 I don't know anybody rich.

Speaker 1 Sure. But I think a lot of times like someone's rich parents, like maybe their dad isn't in the entertainment industry, but they play golf with like an executive at Universal or whatever.

Speaker 1 Like there's things like that that I think happen. But I again to answer, do I am I pro or against? I don't if they're talented and the work is good, I don't really care.

Speaker 5 I mean, I feel and I don't know if I'm biased because my son is just amazing, but he is fluent in ASL and I feel like he's using that and he goes on his Instagram and he's doing reels for, you know, speaking in sign language and doing things like that.

Speaker 5 I feel like that to me, he's using it for good.

Speaker 5 He's talented. I mean, you're self-taught.
You are taking classes at the school for the deaf and things like that. So to me, I I feel like that's

Speaker 5 to what you're saying. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Okay, I'm not a fan,

Speaker 5 despite whatever people are saying, contrary to popular belief is a better way to put it. I don't use filters on my pictures.
I just prefer not to.

Speaker 5 I just feel like if you're going to meet me in person, I'd rather you love me or hate me in person. I don't want you to see a filter on my face and then see me in person and be like, oh, yikes.

Speaker 5 Totally. Are we here for the filters? Are we not here for the filters?

Speaker 1 I also don't use them. You don't? No.

Speaker 5 I mean, I think you look great in person.

Speaker 1 So it doesn't matter. You don't need them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't use them.

Speaker 1 And I, I guess, like, I don't really have a thought process as to why. I just haven't.

Speaker 5 Like, I also don't judge other people who do use them. It's just personal.

Speaker 1 I don't care. I guess unless like, I think the only thing that gets really shy is if you're selling sort of any sort of like fitness or wellness or

Speaker 1 thing and you're using filters, like that feels fucked up to me.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But like otherwise, I just don't really care.

Speaker 1 I think like there's a practical thing where you have to think about like, what is the realistic solution where it's like the internet makes people feel like shit about their bodies and like their faces all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like that is true. And I think we should like do stuff to like prevent that from happening.

Speaker 1 But like the reality is like we kind of can't stop people from using filters and we kind of can't stop people from using FaceTune to change like what their bodies look like in photos.

Speaker 1 So like the solution has to come from within to an extent of like you as a person have to learn how to like not compare, not obsess, da da da.

Speaker 5 Now I will say that if I roll out of bed, right, and I look crazy, I'll throw a filter on that filters the entire

Speaker 5 mainly on like Instagram story, where it's like a filter, like a sepia, sepia situation.

Speaker 1 I feel like that, or even like the smoothing filter on TikTok, I don't really think that there's anything wrong with that.

Speaker 5 Like if you just, but if we're talking about like FaceTune, I've never, I'm not using FaceTune on my face.

Speaker 5 I've seen makeup artists who've doing my makeup and they'll FaceTune the makeup they did on my face and then they'll post it. And one,

Speaker 5 no, that's, that should be illegal because now you're selling services that don't exist.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I totally agree with that.

Speaker 5 And also you made my chin look weird.

Speaker 1 That's the same thing with like, that's what, like what I'm saying with like, like if you're gonna sell, if you're selling like workout plans on Instagram, but you're facetuning your abs, like that is false advertising.

Speaker 5 No, for sure. I mean, is my tummy tuck false advertising if I'm like, oh, I'm skinny?

Speaker 1 Well, you just said publicly that you have a tummy tuck. So like that means no.
Okay, perfect.

Speaker 5 Do we like dancing videos on social media like TikTok, Instagram, things like that? Or like, what, how do we feel about those?

Speaker 1 Like, I like walking, watching like a professional dancer dance.

Speaker 5 Like, I think I wish I could dance and one time

Speaker 5 Pretty recently it was like three years ago I like tried to do this transition with like a dance and people were like you thought you ate I will never

Speaker 5 I Will never in my life even

Speaker 1 you're never seeing a dance video from me. That's can you dance though? I can like

Speaker 1 shake my ass at a party or at the club sure, but like I'm not doing choreography right I could do a little two-step here and there. Yeah, but like no no no, that's not happening.

Speaker 5 Like I'm not renegade was never happening for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not doing Renegade. I'm not doing, I'm like, honestly, not doing the Apple Dance.
I could do the Apple dance.

Speaker 5 Apple Dance.

Speaker 1 The Apple Dance? Like, from the Brat album?

Speaker 5 Well, who's the Brat album?

Speaker 1 Brat? Brat Summer?

Speaker 5 Is that a person?

Speaker 1 Wait, this is, oh my God, this, there's nothing crazy when you realize how, like, being gay is such a bubble.

Speaker 1 You don't know about Brat or Brat Summer or the Apple Dance?

Speaker 5 Is this a person?

Speaker 1 Brat is the name of a Charlie XCX album. That was like one of the biggest albums this year.

Speaker 5 I'll be honest with you, I don't know a single Charlie XEX song.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, like, does this song, but you're on TikTok.

Speaker 5 Hold on, does this not the right side of TikTok?

Speaker 1 Does this song like sound familiar to you?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 no, okay.

Speaker 1 You should listen to Brat. It's a good album.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But there was like a dance to this song that was like very popular. And I can literally pull up the dance because I know that I follow the girl who did it.

Speaker 5 I just love when people break news to me.

Speaker 1 That's like eight months old.

Speaker 7 And they go like this.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 3 I love this.

Speaker 7 Wow.

Speaker 5 Wait, is this like rave music or like, remember Panic at the Disco? Like that sort of vibe? Is that the vibe? Two different.

Speaker 1 I would say, yes, it's rave music. No, it's not like Panic at the Disco.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's like, because I love

Speaker 1 it's not Panic at the Disco. It's like Manic at the Rave kind of would be more of the vibe.

Speaker 5 That's the next man, they're gonna make a full 360 comeback.

Speaker 1 They're gonna be like, It's crazy that you never heard of Brat. Okay, cool.
I love that.

Speaker 5 Well, you're teaching me new things, and I'm gonna go back to my house and just show my kids that I'm the cool mom.

Speaker 1 I think your son's gonna be like, Yeah, mom, I know. Like,

Speaker 5 he's gonna roll his eyes and be like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, your son definitely knows who Charlie XEX is.

Speaker 5 Well, so, okay, a couple weeks ago, I was in the car on my way to Philly, and the camera person that I know and love, and I use them for a a lot of stuff, was like, Oh, I could see you doing this to Hot to Go.

Speaker 5 And I said, Excuse me.

Speaker 5 And he said, Kill Hot to Go. Like, it's an old trend.

Speaker 1 Do you listen to music at all, really? Are you not like a music person? I mean, that like

Speaker 5 truly, I do listen to music, but I think I'm just not listening to you.

Speaker 1 Are you more like listening to country?

Speaker 5 No, I think I'm because I'm listening to 90s and early 2000s.

Speaker 1 So you're just not listening to new stuff.

Speaker 5 Yeah. So when he told me about hot to go, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on.
And so I learned it that night at my live show.

Speaker 5 Like, I just learned how to go, but I didn't know what was going on. Having kids keeps me young.
Maybe I should keep having them.

Speaker 1 That's so funny.

Speaker 5 Is there anything else I should know? Like trending. I know Heidi Montag's song, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 The one that came out 15 years ago that like is now just resurfing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I put it on my last Instagram post.

Speaker 1 Good for her. I mean, yeah, God bless.
But thank Rihanna.

Speaker 1 No, I think like let's start. I think after, I think on your drive back to Delaware later, listen to Brat, listen to the Chappellarone album.

Speaker 5 Chappellarone is the singer. The singer.

Speaker 1 Rise and Fall of the Midwest Princess. Where did she come from?

Speaker 5 I feel like she came out of nowhere just like Bobby Altoff.

Speaker 1 See, I don't know who that is.

Speaker 5 Yes, you do.

Speaker 1 No, it's.

Speaker 5 It's the one that did the Drake interview in the bed.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I don't. I don't know who you're talking about.

Speaker 5 Are you a Drake fan? I'm like a hit or miss. It's like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 I like some of his music, but like not knowing him.

Speaker 5 Who's like your number one go-to? to listen to?

Speaker 1 Oh, that's hard. It really changes.
I mean, like, my like diva that raised me is Lady Gaga, for sure.

Speaker 1 For sure. But, like, I listen, I listen to, like, a lot of music.

Speaker 5 Do you listen to country?

Speaker 1 A little bit. Okay.
A little bit, but not a ton.

Speaker 5 What about Post Malone?

Speaker 1 Um, I've never, like, super connected. I do really like the song with Beyonce, and he looked so good during that Beyonce performance.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I.

Speaker 1 Oh, I did like that one song on the Spider-Man soundtrack, Sunflower. Oh, okay.
I like that song. Yep.

Speaker 5 I'm a big postie fan. I think that's also just different genres.

Speaker 5 So Charlie XEX and Chapel Roan are, would they be like considered pop? Yes. That's probably why I haven't heard.
Okay.

Speaker 5 But I know, like, my, I took my son to Olivia Rodrigo. Fabulous.
Uh, and then we're gonna go to Tate McRae. Fabulous.
I've never heard her music before, but I will, and I'm excited for that.

Speaker 1 You're more into R ⁇ B.

Speaker 5 I do love RB.

Speaker 1 Are you listening to Tanashay?

Speaker 5 No. That's who you are.
I know who I've heard of her, though.

Speaker 1 You need to be listening to Tanashe.

Speaker 5 I love Ella Mai. And

Speaker 5 just so good. And

Speaker 1 that song is so good.

Speaker 5 Ella Mai has slept on. Like, I know she's getting placed.

Speaker 1 Ella Maya has slept on for sure. Why, though?

Speaker 5 She's so talented.

Speaker 1 I think there's so much, like,

Speaker 1 it's like algorithms.

Speaker 1 I feel like, I don't know, it's such an insane world to try to break out. There's so much, there's so many people out there now.
But no, you should check out Tanache.

Speaker 1 I think you would really connect with her music.

Speaker 5 Well, how do you feel about Bad Bunny?

Speaker 1 Oh, I know.

Speaker 5 He's so hot.

Speaker 1 He's hot. I like a lot of his music, and everyone's like really going up for the new album.
I haven't listened to it yet, but I'm excited to.

Speaker 5 I think it's a love story to Puerto Rico. Yeah, that's true.
So it's not like what he's typically has has done in the past, but I respect it. I think that that's great.

Speaker 5 How do we feel about people canceling plans? Rude, not rude, self-care. Like, how do you feel?

Speaker 1 I think there's, it depends all on timing. I think outside of 24 hours, it's not rude.
I think like just being like, hey, like, I'm not feeling well or this thing came up.

Speaker 1 Obviously, depending, if it's like a big plan that, like, if it's like a reservation that was really hard to get and you've been looking forward to it, like there within that, day of canceling pisses me off, unless it's an emergency.

Speaker 1 No, I agree. But like day of canceling, I really hate.

Speaker 5 I have gone back and forth with this because I have, I feel like I fell into the trap from social media specifically where it's like, oh, canceling plans is self-care, but like it's not always

Speaker 1 being an asshole. I also think, in general, there was this like thing that was kind of going.
I feel like every generation develops a version of this.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that I really remember hating it when millennials were doing it. And I feel like it's kind of coming up in Gen Z now

Speaker 1 where like it becomes like cool to be antisocial. Like there was like very much that like, that like, that like millennial thing of like, like,

Speaker 1 like being like, what, what people thought my 20s would be. And it's like people at a club and like, what I actually wanted my 20s to be.
And it's like drinking wine alone on the couch.

Speaker 1 And it's like, so that's like lonely alcoholism. Like, let's be serious.

Speaker 1 Like, and I just feel like there was this thing of like people being like, there were so many memes about like being so excited when someone else cancels plans.

Speaker 1 And I was like, that's never been my experience. Like, I want to be out in the world with people and socializing.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying everyone has to be an extrovert, but I think sometimes I'm like, I think what you actually guys are actually doing is falling into like the traps of capitalism where now all you do is work and then you don't spend time with your like friends and be out and be social.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's like, I'm very pro-like, no, go do plans, be out there. I mean, that's why I live in New York.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 I like a little bit of like in a 30-day month, right?

Speaker 5 I'll make plans like two days out of the month.

Speaker 5 Like, I don't want to do it all the time, but I think the happy balance of like pouring into myself, also my kids, also my partner, I want to make sure that I do have friends, but I, the friends thing right now in my life is small doses.

Speaker 5 Also, I work with my best friends.

Speaker 1 Well, that's part of it.

Speaker 5 Which is weird for a lot of people because a lot of people can't work. Like, I love Alessandra so much.
I have an assistant that I was my best friend before she worked for me. Right.

Speaker 5 So, in a way, I'm sort of getting the best of both worlds. And I think that there is a happy medium, but you have to be careful and tread that line sort of lightly.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I'm sort of the opposite where I would say I may be staying in two nights a month.
Oh, okay. I'm like out there always.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But similarly, but, but almost the opposite, like,

Speaker 1 um, I don't have any kids. And part of why I know I don't want kids is because I like this part of my life of being super social.

Speaker 1 And two, one of the only things that has sucked about not even sucked, one of the only downsides to becoming a full-time comedian is I lost coworkers. I don't have, I work alone.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 My working is like writing alone on my laptop, going, and like, obviously, if I go to a show, like I have like fellow comics, but like I'll see them there, but that might be one hour of my day.

Speaker 5 That might not be like a real

Speaker 1 friend. Back when I worked in restaurants, you know, I would see like, I would have like my crew of people that I saw like 30 hours a week.
And like, did I like working in restaurants?

Speaker 1 Like, yes and no. But like, did I like having friends that I, people I became friends with that I saw like 30 hours a week? Yes, I did like that.
And that's gone from my life.

Speaker 1 So to fill that social tank, I'm out there a lot. Like if you're out, if your coworkers are your friends, I think that makes a lot more sense.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I, I think there's also like that fine line between like your coworkers are not your friends, but in this industry and what I do for work, it's very different than when I worked at the dentist office.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they were my friends at work, but they weren't my friends outside of work. 100%.
Where this, I would hang out with Alessandra.

Speaker 5 I mean, we went to Barnes and Noble last night, you know, like I'd hang out with her.

Speaker 5 We also have common interests. So I think that plays a factor too.
So it's just a little bit different.

Speaker 5 And then last one, New York City gays are better than LA gays.

Speaker 1 I think they're just different. Again, I think it's just different.
I think that, like, you know, people of like tastes move to like cities. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just think they're different. I, do I connect more with New York? Always.
It's my home. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 But I don't think there's anything.

Speaker 1 I always think that like people who get really obsessed on like this versus that with like the cities, it's like you're you're insecure in your own city. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like if you really fucked with like New York gays, like you wouldn't have to shit on the LA gays. You know what I mean? You'd just be like a New York gay.

Speaker 5 Is there hate between the gays?

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say hate.

Speaker 5 Is there animosity?

Speaker 1 I think that there's like teasing, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 I've never, I didn't know about it until it was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like, I feel like there's like the stereotypes, but again, I think it's like very internet-based of like on Twitter and stuff, like you'll have like, and it's not just LA.

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like there's like a lot of jokes about like DC gays, or like, oh, really? Yeah, for sure, or like Boston gays.

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like there's like stereotypes within the gay community of the different cities. And I think that shit's all fun.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, if someone's like, I fucking hate gays from DC, it's like, Jesus, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 like can you do the trend have you seen the trend this is completely unrelated where um the gay guys are like going i'm gonna talk to my mom in my in my deep voice and she goes what the fuck are you doing why are you talking like well you know i've a bit about this online no i didn't know that okay so something really crazy that happens all the time is that people will comment on my videos accusing me that my voice is fake that this isn't my real voice you know it's definitely not and people talk about it all the time like i get comments on it they'll be like why does he do that with his voice or like why does he make his voice gayer for views like I get that, and it's funny because, like, I get bullied.

Speaker 1 I was as a child, I was like, as we talked about earlier, I was like, literally bullied for how I talk. And so, it's like so crazy for me to be able to see.

Speaker 1 Then, I do, I did like a whole series of videos where I like revealed my real voice to be like, sorry, guys, you caught me. Like, can you do it? What is it?

Speaker 1 It takes me a minute to get into it, but yeah, I can do it. Ask me, like, ask me some questions.
I'm answering it.

Speaker 5 Um, what's your favorite color and why?

Speaker 1 Uh, it sort of depends on the season and what, what, like, event I'm going to. I really like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 during the summer, I tend to stay like more neutrals.

Speaker 1 I like,

Speaker 5 that feels so unnatural. Like,

Speaker 1 but it's like, yeah, I have to, I try to set my voice in a little bit lower part of my throat and, you know, just be honest and open about who I really am and how I actually talk.

Speaker 1 And it feels uncomfortable because it's, it's scary being who you actually are, you know? And

Speaker 1 I can only do it for so long before I start to actually feel crazy. Like I have to start.
But this is you. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 5 But this, the one that I, there was like two different ones that I saw. And the mom is like yelling at her son.

Speaker 5 And she's like, why the fuck are you talking like, because she was like, that's really mom, where's my charger? And she goes, why the fuck are you talking like that?

Speaker 5 And I was cracking up because I was like, you just, as a mom, you want your kids to be who they are, but I love that. Okay, before we go, tell us,

Speaker 5 where can people find your tour dates, first of all? So you can follow me.

Speaker 1 If you follow me on Instagram, Jake W. Cornell, you can, I post about everything there.
And then I also, all my dates are on a website called punchup.live slash jake cornell. Okay.

Speaker 1 And you can sign up there and you'll get like alerts when my, when I'm coming to like your city or a city near you.

Speaker 5 And then where can people find you on TikTok?

Speaker 1 What's your Jake W. Cornell? That's perfect.

Speaker 5 Love that. Thank you so much for coming on.

Speaker 1 This was so fun. Thank you.

Speaker 5 No, if you ever want to come back, let me know.

Speaker 1 Anytime.

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