Unfiltered Conversations with Sterling: Part 1

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Speaker 5 Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.

Speaker 5 It's your fae villain, Kale Wower.

Speaker 5 And you're listening to Barely Famous.

Speaker 5 All right, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Barely Famous Podcast.
And today we have a long-awaited guest, a much asked for guest.

Speaker 3 Stop it. Are you serious?

Speaker 5 Dead serious.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 5 Ms. Sterling.

Speaker 3 Hi.

Speaker 3 I don't think people remembered me or cared.

Speaker 5 Oh, no, they remember and they care. And I think people thought that we had a falling out.
And so they were asking for an episode, sort of like a rekindling episode.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, we were only not friends for a short period, and we never had three months knocked down drag out. Like, it wasn't a, it was more of like um

Speaker 5 you had pregnancy hormones, and also, I would say, toxic relationships, yes, were involved, but outside of that, like we never fought,

Speaker 3 no, we never, except for about the chicken,

Speaker 5 okay, timeout. So, we called Becky because Sterling had said, Sterling said that she met Becky before, and I didn't recall until

Speaker 3 first of all, is not how it started. I said, I'm so happy you and Becky are friends again.
You know I've always loved Becky. You were like, you've met her?

Speaker 5 And the only reason why it jogged my memory was because I had a 4th of July party in, oh, God, I don't even know what year that was.

Speaker 3 2016. Because I had already had Mila.
Okay. So you came.

Speaker 5 You came to Delaware, had a 4th of July party. Becky was there.
Quay was there. Bone didn't come that time.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 5 And we got into an argument because Sterling can throw down in the kitchen. Like,

Speaker 5 all the feasts are on Sterling. I've been here for Thanksgiving.
You've been to my house for Thanksgiving. So it's been like Sterling can throw down.

Speaker 5 So you

Speaker 5 are getting all the chicken press.

Speaker 3 I'm cooking for about 70 people. Yes.
Yeah. And

Speaker 3 I'm in my zone.

Speaker 5 I start butchering the chicken breast and I'm cutting off every line, every weird colored thing, every, and Sterling is like, what the fuck? Like, she didn't cuss. I'm exaggerating.
I am like.

Speaker 3 She's a cusser. I just just laugh at everything she says.

Speaker 5 I'm like mutilating the chicken breast. And Sterling is like, what are you doing? You're not the one eating it.
Everyone else is eating it. Leave it alone.

Speaker 5 And I'm upset because I don't want any of that on my chicken.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, I literally looked at her and I said, I will do yours. Leave everyone else's alone.
Get out of the kitchen.

Speaker 3 And you were like, it's my kitchen.

Speaker 3 And I was like, you don't cook in here.

Speaker 5 You're like, I fly here and I cook out here.

Speaker 3 I fly here and I stay here. And I'm usually here for about a week and I cook every single meal.
Yeah, no, you don't.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that is a true story. So that was a wild Fourth of July party, but you're right.
Becky was there.

Speaker 3 2016, still to this day, was my favorite year of our lives.

Speaker 3 That was a fun year.

Speaker 5 We saw each other more that year than we have in the 10 years we've been.

Speaker 5 Well, it's been longer than 10 years because Lincoln's 11.

Speaker 5 So I want to take you guys back and tell you the story about how Sterling and I met because that was never clear on the show and we live in two different states we always have

Speaker 5 so Sterling and I met in person in the Bahamas yes in the Bahamas at a Sincey

Speaker 5 yes Scentsy whatever that was if you're not familiar with Sensi it's an MLM and we got sucked into those and we were on the same team and so we both earned the trip to the Bahamas yes we go to the Bahamas we meet in the Atlantis hotel yeah and we were both with our significant others they hit it off they were besties little having a little bromance.

Speaker 3 And Sterling and I bonded over the trauma of our lives. Baby, not baby daddy, but dad trauma.
Yeah, biological father.

Speaker 3 Father trauma. All of that.
Lincoln was not even sitting up. He was an infant.
Yes. He was on the tit the whole trip.

Speaker 3 And you were so worried about like I was ruining your time. And I was like, I literally am the biggest homebody.
We could stay at this hotel the whole time and I would be just fine.

Speaker 5 So our significant others would go out, have drinks, shop, do their own thing. And Sterling and I would be like chilling in the room or chilling wherever.
And I would have have Lincoln breastfeeding.

Speaker 5 But from there,

Speaker 5 we were just

Speaker 3 literally inseparable. I swear, we booked, I literally booked a trip to come see you.

Speaker 5 Like, I think like a month later.

Speaker 3 While we were in the Bahamas, I literally was like, I'm

Speaker 3 flying to Delaware. Well, I'll come to see you.

Speaker 3 Oh, you did. Yeah, I sure did.

Speaker 5 And then

Speaker 5 we,

Speaker 5 Sterling and I got pregnant.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Sort of planned because I was actively trying. I think you were trying.

Speaker 3 We were trying.

Speaker 5 And I miscarried, unfortunately, but we were actively both trying at the same time. And

Speaker 5 I miscarried on Veterans Day, which I've been open about. So it's like not news.
But you went to term. So you have your second daughter.
When I saw you again,

Speaker 5 you were showing.

Speaker 3 Showing. And then you came and stayed with me for Christmas.
Yes,

Speaker 3 with Lincoln. It was just you and Link because

Speaker 5 there was a scandal with that too. Not a scandal, just drama.

Speaker 3 Your life, your middle name is scandal.

Speaker 5 I mean, that would be a cute.

Speaker 5 Could you imagine calling a baby like, hey, Scanny, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Scanny,

Speaker 3 praise God, you have your tubes tied, so you don't have the opportunity to get a ton of colours. I could just name a child.
They're nice. Scanny.

Speaker 3 They're not just tied.

Speaker 5 They are cut out.

Speaker 3 Okay, thank you. Thank you.
Who's your doctor? What's your doctor's name?

Speaker 5 It's a midwife.

Speaker 3 Okay, your midwife. I will call and thank you.
Chris and I were like, don't tie those, burn them.

Speaker 5 Burn them. Well, I tried to get them put in a jar and they wouldn't.
They were like, these have to go to pathology, Cale.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 you would have liked to see them them because you would have thought they were for you.

Speaker 5 I feel like you're interested in that stuff.

Speaker 3 I am, but your thought process and like your placenta, the placenta thing and like painting it.

Speaker 5 I also ate it raw.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 You raw? Yes.

Speaker 5 Was it with the Rio or the twins? It's on my Instagram.

Speaker 3 Rio.

Speaker 5 I think it was Rio.

Speaker 3 After painting it?

Speaker 5 Yeah, she did part. She put the edible paint on it, did the little picture.
It's like the tree of life. Okay.
And then we put it in a blender.

Speaker 3 Yum.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 One of my kids also took a sip willingly. I won't say which one.

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 they only have like a one out of seven chance to guess which one.

Speaker 3 Actually, if it was Rio, one out of five. Fair.

Speaker 5 Elijah wouldn't eat a bite of it, though. I did ask him, but he wasn't.

Speaker 3 That's rude.

Speaker 5 I know. I was like, come on.
Like, you basically created this placenta. This is your,

Speaker 5 this is my organ with your juices. So like you should.

Speaker 3 And we know he's at your juices.

Speaker 5 We know you've had the juices. Okay.
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 Three babies in the span of a year.

Speaker 5 No, literally. Yeah.
Cause they're not, I mean, Rio wasn't even one when the twids were born.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 5 So wait, so go back. So we have I have the miscarriage.
We go to you start showing when we when we see each other again.

Speaker 5 And I remember like it was one of those times that was like super happy for you because I knew that we were both trying, but also sad for me. So I was like sort of grieving the loss.
But I,

Speaker 5 because that's come up on podcasts before. I think a story was written in about how she felt like her friend should have waited to announce her pregnancy or something because she had lost hers.

Speaker 5 And I, you know, I have some empathy for that. And I can, I can understand that, but I, I never felt that way with you.

Speaker 5 Like, I didn't feel like you shouldn't be able to announce your pregnancy or announce the gender because I lost my baby. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, and also too, I think it helps to

Speaker 3 not that it helps, but like I was pregnant. I did find out pregnant.
I was pregnant first. I told you I was pregnant, and you're like, Oh my gosh, I hope that I'm pregnant.
This, that, and the other.

Speaker 3 And then you ended up finding out like a couple weeks later that you were pregnant. Yeah.
Wow. That was my last pregnancy.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That was almost nine years ago. That was nine years ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 She's about, she's about to be nine.

Speaker 3 Here I am. Only two kids.
I stopped.

Speaker 3 Not.

Speaker 5 I had a mommy makeover and thought I wasn't going to have any more kids and then popped out five more. And now I'm here in Dallas also getting surgery.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, let's, let's, okay, I want to talk about it. You want to talk about it? No, I want to talk about that because I have questions.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Can I just tell you one funny story before the surgery thing, or do you want me to tell you that after?

Speaker 3 Right now.

Speaker 5 Okay. So the last one.

Speaker 3 If it's funny, like I might laugh and like cough, and I might sound like a smoker. I don't smoke.
I've been sick and

Speaker 3 I sound ridiculous when I get tickled.

Speaker 5 So we'll edit out as much of the coughing as possible.

Speaker 3 Seriously.

Speaker 5 The last time I was physically at Sterling's house, it was Thanksgiving, was here with my ex,

Speaker 5 not one of the baby dads. And just to clarify, and I had an ingrown toenail.

Speaker 3 Oh

Speaker 3 my gosh.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And I did not want him to know that I had an ingrown toenail.

Speaker 5 And I was hiding in this room that we're sitting in, probably sitting in this chair or that one.

Speaker 5 And Sterling was like, let me get your ingrown toenail. And she was digging at my foot.
And he's in the other room. And I'm like, okay, stop.
I think he's coming. Like, stop.
I'm coming.

Speaker 3 It's an ingrown toenail. He's seen your vagina.

Speaker 5 But I did not want him to see my ingrown toenail, which is a sign that we probably shouldn't have been together to begin with.

Speaker 3 That one was a no for me, dog.

Speaker 5 No. He was a nice guy.

Speaker 3 He was very nice. That was the downfall.

Speaker 5 That was his downfall, but also he's up right now.

Speaker 3 Because you walked all over him. Bless his heart.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I do. I am open about the regrets I have.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 like, regrets, y'all just were not compatible. Well, I still could been

Speaker 5 a better person.

Speaker 3 You were also

Speaker 3 in your depression grieving phase.

Speaker 5 So that's what she said. She literally said those words verbatim on the way here.

Speaker 3 That's why, like,

Speaker 5 that's not okay to treat someone.

Speaker 3 But I feel like that's why it works with Elijah because he's also very nice and very calm and collected.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they both, I think, like mellow, try to, like, manage,

Speaker 5 not manage, balance, balance the, you know, a little crazy in me.

Speaker 3 The difference between that relationship and Elijah is that he's very

Speaker 3 when you are in that crazy phase he'll just like walk away and be like

Speaker 3 I'll come back whenever you're done I don't have time for this he doesn't versus that other relationship was more like

Speaker 3 what can I do to fix it yeah please let me help you

Speaker 3 I don't want to like

Speaker 3 trying to like fix it right there and you're like get away from me 1000% and Elijah's like has no interest in trying to fix it when you're like that he's like all right I'll come back in a little bit I'll come back in a little bit.

Speaker 5 Okay, so surgery, surgery. Okay, um, I went to my pre-op yesterday and I thought I was gonna get my chin done, but he was like, No, girl, that's skin.

Speaker 5 Um, he didn't say it like that, but um, he was like, That's skin, you need to get

Speaker 3 skin from the weight loss, which is good.

Speaker 5 And then he also said the same thing for my arms. He can't really do anything with my arms right now because it would just be skin sagging.
Um, I'm getting a he's gonna merge

Speaker 5 my tummy tuck scar from 2016

Speaker 5 and my C-section scar so that it's just one scar and it's lower, which is nice. And then he's going to

Speaker 5 revise where my muscles stretched back out. Alessandra went with me so she could also just confirm anything I'm fucking up.

Speaker 5 And because having five babies after a tummy tuck, it just stretched right back out.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So are you doing like another tummy tuck?

Speaker 5 No, I don't have to get a new tummy tuck. He's just going to go back in and tighten the muscles so he doesn't have to mess with my belly button.

Speaker 5 He doesn't have to like remove more skin he doesn't have to do any of that and then he's gonna do some lipo a tummy tuck usually comes with lipos so like you can't pull the skin down without taking some fat out so he's gonna remove that and then also take some lipo out of my or take some fat out of my back so it's a little bit more proportionate because i'm going to um like a be like a b cup oh that's amazing I want mine done so badly.

Speaker 3 That's why I have questions. Yeah.
Did they say like recovery is a lot smoother?

Speaker 5 He said it, the woman said it really depends on the person.

Speaker 3 We also got our boobs done at the same time.

Speaker 5 Yes. No, you were first.

Speaker 3 Like, same year. Yeah.
We did. 2014.
We were getting mine done, and you were asking questions because you were like, I really want mine done. And then what if we got them done like a year later?

Speaker 3 We were like, I hate them. They're way too big.

Speaker 3 And I still, to this day, almost 10 years later, bigger because I've put on weight, I put on weight, lose weight, put on weight.

Speaker 5 He did say that he does not have have to do

Speaker 5 remove my nipples

Speaker 3 remove your nipples

Speaker 3 they did that the first time yeah they removed them yes

Speaker 5 no yes they can't remove them yes they can he said that she was there she was my witness

Speaker 3 so they cut around mine i'll show you they cut just blur this out but you can leave it in the episode You see the scar all the way up. I have the same scar too, but they don't remove it.

Speaker 5 No, they do. Mine were removed.
He said We don't have to do that this time.

Speaker 3 Like, put it on a platter.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 She was, she's there. I'm not making this up because mine was my mother.

Speaker 3 Mine wasn't like that. So they did mine, then they cut a line down underneath.
Yep.

Speaker 3 They moved the nipple up, but like it was still attached. Mine wasn't.

Speaker 3 Like they took the nipple off.

Speaker 3 I thought they couldn't do that because it would mess up like

Speaker 3 your

Speaker 3 like production milk.

Speaker 5 I think it's called necrosis. Necrosis.

Speaker 3 It can.

Speaker 5 oh why i was never able to successfully breastfeed after like i did because you had your nipple on a platter

Speaker 5 yeah

Speaker 5 basically but he's like we don't have to do that this time like you don't have to worry about it

Speaker 3 i did not know that why did i not know that and i used to watch dr miami faithfully we were obsessed with him before you got that that's why i had to go to him because i was like i'm obsessed i was on i only had snapchat to watch him i love and i i still do like i had a

Speaker 5 everyone has a different experience. And I'm not here for Dr.
Miami slander. Like, do not write into me and talk shit about him.

Speaker 3 I, to this day, like him now?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think people just don't, like, if you look him up on the internet, like, people say horrible things. And I'm just like, I cannot speak to anyone else's experience.

Speaker 5 I can only speak to my experience. And

Speaker 5 I would have gone to him again. Like, if Dr.
Dallas didn't work out or he didn't have availability.

Speaker 5 Oh, are they?

Speaker 3 I think so.

Speaker 5 Well, if he would have not had availability, I got into this appointment as fast as I did because they were able to get me in. If they couldn't and Dr.

Speaker 5 Miami had the availability, I would have gone right back to him. Like, I had to do that.

Speaker 3 That's why I was going to spend 10 days together.

Speaker 5 So exciting. I'm so excited.
And you'll, Elijah will be here, so you'll get to see him for briefly.

Speaker 3 Love him.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I love him.
So he's going to take care of me. My surgery is at 6:30 in the morning.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 praise God. He's going to be.
And they said it's like I was not waking up for that.

Speaker 5 No, so much. I understand.

Speaker 5 And it's also a six or seven hour procedure

Speaker 3 for Lipo 360, taking your nipples off,

Speaker 3 mood reduction.

Speaker 5 Yes. And tummy tuck revision.

Speaker 3 So is that like a burning?

Speaker 3 Or is that like a

Speaker 3 he's pulling them together?

Speaker 5 So he's going to cut one of them.

Speaker 3 So he's going to make the fufa smaller too. Yeah.

Speaker 5 They did tell me, you know what's the craziest part of this whole thing?

Speaker 5 We were going over like pre-op care, and her name's Polly, and she's like, casually, like, and make, please make sure that it's three inches or less.

Speaker 5 Your hair, your pubic hair is three inches or less. And I look at her and I go, three inches.

Speaker 3 And she's three inches?

Speaker 5 Three inches is crazy.

Speaker 3 Three inches is crazy. You're lying.

Speaker 5 I said, what? Three inches? And she's like, you'd be surprised. I said, what do you do? Turn them away? She's like, no, we have to shave them.

Speaker 3 First of all, I did not know that your hair could grow that long down here.

Speaker 5 Three inches is crazy.

Speaker 3 I mean, that's like this. That's like someone with...
A tixie cut.

Speaker 5 That's bigger than a penis I've been with.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 I know who too.

Speaker 5 So I'm cracking up because I'm like three inches or less is crazy. I had to go get all my permanent jewelry cut off yesterday.

Speaker 3 Permanent jewelry cut off?

Speaker 5 Yeah, because

Speaker 5 you can't have jewelry on for the surgery. And I had like permanent jewelry on that I didn't take off.
Like inklets, bracelets, necklace.

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 3 Because it just means. Permanent jewelry.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it like makes me feel put together.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, like, what is permanent jewelry?

Speaker 5 Like, you can't take it off. It's like, like, you have to cut it off.
There's places all around here.

Speaker 3 Why am I so behind on life? And do I live under a rock?

Speaker 5 Same.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 Your rock is

Speaker 3 bigger than your small.

Speaker 3 Very small because you can see over it.

Speaker 3 What the fuck?

Speaker 5 I just literally can't.

Speaker 3 I almost said the S word.

Speaker 5 You're religious early now. You're not allowed to cuss.

Speaker 3 I did give my life to the Lord almost two years. Can we talk about it? We can.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I have some questions. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 you try not to cuss.

Speaker 5 Since I was last year in Dallas, you found your faith.

Speaker 3 Yes. Well, you

Speaker 3 saw, we saw each other. When were you here?

Speaker 5 I came here for my Dallas show in September.

Speaker 3 So we saw each other two months ago. Three months ago.

Speaker 5 But it was only for a couple hours. It wasn't, or it was like a day thing.
And then you came to my show and then you had to come back home.

Speaker 3 Mind you, before we get to that, I have to mention that

Speaker 3 I laugh every single time I think about you coming out on that stage and me bawling of just a proud moment for knowing where you started and where you are now. And like,

Speaker 3 I think about the scenario of which I was crying because I'm so proud and I'm like, I'm literally sobbing. And you're up there singing, getting dicked down in Dallas.

Speaker 3 And I'm,

Speaker 3 I'm in shambles. Like, I'm so proud of her.

Speaker 5 You're like the mom in Mean Girls with Gina's mom where they're like doing this hoe dance. And she's like, and then she's like, yes, you're doing amazing, sweetie.
I'm so proud.

Speaker 5 And you're, I'm getting dicked down.

Speaker 3 And then we make eye contact. She's like, oh my gosh, don't cry.

Speaker 5 Because I can't cry when I'm singing that. Like, we're getting teamed up in Tennessee.
I don't have time to cry right now.

Speaker 3 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 3 I laugh every time I think about it. I was like, I was really bawling while you were singing Dick Down in Dallas.

Speaker 5 What should I sing in Austin? Should we sing that again? Because it's anal in Austin?

Speaker 3 Okay. It's anal in Austin?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Getting butt-fucked in Boston.
Anal in Austin. Tag teamed up in Tennessee.

Speaker 3 Oh, you are. You listened to that song.
No, that's your fault.

Speaker 5 Lindsay was the one that told me that song, and I've been singing it ever since.

Speaker 5 Okay, wait, let's. Okay, talking about your faith, you don't cuss.
Since the last time I was here at your house,

Speaker 5 you also went through some stuff in your own personal life. You found your faith.

Speaker 5 How has your life changed since you found your faith

Speaker 3 for the better? A lot more positivity, joy. I feel like

Speaker 3 it helped me seriously, like wash away and get rid of, do away with my last relationship I was in.

Speaker 3 Um, because I feel like if I didn't turn to the Lord, I would have continued that same toxic cycle. It just was not healthy at all.
It wasn't healthy for any of us, any of us.

Speaker 5 When you decided to make changes that can't, like, you're not just going to church, right? Like, you have your kids in

Speaker 3 private school.

Speaker 5 You are involved in the church, you're involved at the school. So you're not just going to church, right? Like you are fully immersed in religion.

Speaker 5 So with that being said, did you feel

Speaker 5 like your friendships also had to change? Like not just your toxic relationship, but also friendships?

Speaker 3 No, I feel because

Speaker 3 when you

Speaker 3 love people and you

Speaker 3 value a friendship,

Speaker 3 you pray for them and meet them where they're at and just

Speaker 3 and have the faith that they'll come to that moment as well I don't feel like the friendships necessarily changed I feel like it's more so of like a

Speaker 3 how can I word it like I feel like I just I have more I have more appreciation for people and like an understanding so you don't because there's more grace there to understand that not everybody is going to be where you are because I wasn't there for almost 30 years for 30 years.

Speaker 3 I was, I mean, I've always been a Christian, but actually like living my life for the Lord, I was not doing so. I was, there was a lot of flaws.
There was a lot of things that I needed to change. And

Speaker 3 I don't know. I feel like you should just still

Speaker 3 love the people that you

Speaker 3 have in your life and understand that people aren't going to be where you are at. And that's okay.
And just pray for them that they can get there. And if they don't,

Speaker 3 there's an understanding that

Speaker 3 there's always, there's, there's,

Speaker 3 I don't know how to word it. It's so hard to talk about because I'm like,

Speaker 3 I just don't feel that it's right to judge people for what they,

Speaker 3 what they decide to do. I don't necessarily have to agree with it, but I'm not going to judge you for it.

Speaker 3 It's not my, I'm not going to condemn anybody for their decisions because people didn't condemn me for mine, you know.

Speaker 5 When I, when we talked in Dallas the last time, when I was here in September,

Speaker 5 it scared me. What scared you? How religious you are.

Speaker 3 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 5 It scared me because I felt like our

Speaker 3 don't start crying. We're gonna cry.
Are we gonna do this?

Speaker 5 It scared me because

Speaker 5 I feel like I don't live my life that way, and I probably never will.

Speaker 5 And I was

Speaker 5 our relationship has had mine and yours has ebbed and flowed, right? Like, sometimes we're closer than others based on our family, based on our circumstances, whatever we have going on in life.

Speaker 5 But I never felt a disconnect from you. Like, I always know that I could call you, and vice versa, right? Like, you could call me at any point, and it would pick up wherever we left off.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 When I realized how

Speaker 5 deep your faith goes at this point, I'm thinking, okay, so that basically means that we can't be friends because I don't live my life like that and you don't agree with it.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 3 we're not aligned.

Speaker 5 Like we can't, like your faith won't allow you to be friends with someone like me or even just how I live my life, right? Like I... I would consider myself part of like the queer community, right?

Speaker 5 You knew my ex-girlfriend.

Speaker 5 So like you know that i have not lived a life that is you know

Speaker 5 of the lord or of god right like i don't even know how to like what the wording is so like i it scared me because i was like okay this is where our friendship ends

Speaker 3 i don't want you first of all i don't want you to be scared because that's not the case at all i feel like i have patience and understanding and love people more

Speaker 3 now

Speaker 3 Do I think that

Speaker 3 does it make me sad like certain decisions that people make in my life? Yes, but I also

Speaker 3 sometimes don't always make the best decisions. Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm like a robot.
I make mistakes.

Speaker 3 I literally was cussing this morning because I was pissed at something and I have to reel it back in. I'm like, you really need to calm it down.
Like, I make mistakes. I definitely make mistakes.

Speaker 3 I'm just more cautious of like making those mistakes and understanding that like,

Speaker 3 I don't have

Speaker 3 like some, there's just certain things to me that's just not worth to do anymore. Not even just for like my faith, but for not my faith, but for my

Speaker 3 walk with the Lord, but for my health too.

Speaker 3 There's just a lot of things that I changed and I cut out of my life. But people, I know a lot of Christians that do

Speaker 3 things that I don't even do. It's just for me, it's a personal choice, you know, and it doesn't mean that I don't, like, I have friends who are

Speaker 3 frequent churchgoers and very involved in church that still drink and do what, like, you still live your life.

Speaker 3 Like, it's just, I just feel like I, the Lord has come into my heart and it fills me more with joy. I feel like I'm a lot happier.

Speaker 3 And that's the ultimate thing for me that I feel like I'm able to talk to people and spread that happiness versus rather than saying, like, oh, well, hey, whenever someone has to ask, like, hey, how are you?

Speaker 3 You're instead of just being like, oh, I guess I'm all right. Like, you know, rather than that glass half empty, it's like the glass glass is more half full now.

Speaker 3 And I feel like, for me, just because I have that relationship with the Lord, that it's because of the Lord, not because I'm like making all these changes.

Speaker 3 I have to cut this person out or this person out. Like, that's not the case at all.

Speaker 5 Well, that's right. That's what it felt like.

Speaker 3 I was just like, really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Conversation in the hotel. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Stop. Yeah.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 I was like, I just don't know how we move forward from here because if I constantly am doing certain things that you don't align with, how can you be friends with someone that that you don't align with that much?

Speaker 3 I think that with any friendship, like if you come to me about something and you're running and you're seeking advice, my advice is always going to be the route of like, what's going to be the better outcome for you in the long run?

Speaker 3 Not, I'm not going to sit there and Bible thump you. I'm not going to just throw that at you like that.
I'm going to more so be like,

Speaker 3 do I agree with what you did? No, I still love you, but maybe next time you could do it like this. try it like this and if you do it you do if you don't you don't I

Speaker 3 I can't control the dynamic of what people decide to do and that's the beauty of like with where I'm at and my I know where I stand and I can only give that advice but I'm not like if you don't do that I can't be your friend do you that make sense I because I I like I love I love you for who you are.

Speaker 3 And that's why we've stayed friends for so long because I don't, I also don't indulge into other people.

Speaker 3 Like if somebody's having problems, I only try to give them the comfort and the positivity versus like investing myself fully into it and bringing on that burden.

Speaker 3 Because I feel that with friendships and relationships, we tend to put on other people's burdens and problems onto ourselves.

Speaker 5 Right. Like before we even started recording, I was telling you all the stuff, and you go, wow, that's a lot.
You didn't really bring it.

Speaker 3 Put it on me to make to upset me. It's more so like, man, that really sucks that that's going on with you.

Speaker 3 I'm going to pray for for that but I'm not gonna bring that onto me and put that stress onto myself okay so boundaries used to I would I would be I would like be like internalize stress me out I would internalize it I would be wow that's like like how can I fix that how can I and I can more so like give like my advice to it but like I can't I can't fix it if that makes sense but I I don't want you to be scared.

Speaker 3 That's like makes me sad.

Speaker 5 You know, we had the conversation about someone else

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 your beliefs on that was, you know, very different than, you know, where I stand on it.

Speaker 5 I don't think that we need to air like what it was about, but

Speaker 5 because of those beliefs, would it change the relationship? If that person doesn't live

Speaker 5 sort of the way that you believe, what does that look like for our friendship and for y'all's relationship? Because,

Speaker 5 you know, what happens when we don't agree on certain things that for me is like not necessarily necessarily religious, but like you don't identify or align with certain things.

Speaker 5 How do we move forward in a friendship, right? Like, how do we continue our friendship when we don't?

Speaker 5 And this goes not just for us, but like people who are, you know, when I was married, he was, grew up Catholic and I wasn't religious. And that just never was like a point of contention for us.

Speaker 5 And I know for a lot of people, it can be, whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, a parental child situation.

Speaker 3 I feel it kind of goes the same with politics. I feel that you, when you love somebody in your life, you

Speaker 3 have an understanding for their point of view and not argue about their point of view. I think that that's maturity.
I feel the same.

Speaker 3 Like if you don't have the same beliefs in certain things about parenting, about religion, about politics, you can still be friends with somebody.

Speaker 3 You just have to understand that you don't have to have the same views to know that you still like that person for who they are, not by their beliefs.

Speaker 3 I think that it goes for a lot of things. Like you, people live their lives.
I have a lot of friends who live different lives than me and like different than you, like people, so many people.

Speaker 3 Just like you said, with your ex-husband, you were able to

Speaker 3 be in that marriage even though he was Catholic you were not you know I think and it goes it's very different with friendship because you're not aligning your life together we're not I'm not basing my life off of our friendship and like we're not live doing life together right like a relation like a marriage so you're saying it's like almost easier because of that or no I think so with a friendship I feel like in a marriage it can there can be that's usually the biggest problems of marriage is finances religion, politics, politics, yeah.

Speaker 5 Or money,

Speaker 5 money is a big one.

Speaker 3 Yeah, finances, for sure, are and religion are two of the most common factors of divorce if they don't understand that there's like

Speaker 3 a difference in beliefs there before they establish, before they get married. Right.
I feel like that's very common. But in a friendship, I don't feel that way.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm not like just out here.

Speaker 5 I don't know. I just, I think because of how quickly, well, it felt quick to me.
Maybe it wasn't quick to you because we don't see each other often.

Speaker 5 It felt so in-depth, so fast.

Speaker 5 And I was just like, oh, like the next thing I know, you're going to have to cut me off because that's just how I associate with people with religion in general, not just you.

Speaker 3 Well, I've been heavily involved in church for two years and we've still been talking friends.

Speaker 5 I know, but I guess

Speaker 5 the first deeply religious conversation that we had. Okay.

Speaker 3 I think that's a good question. I feel like I thought in my perspective, it went like well, and like you had really good questions.
And I felt like I was very, I feel like I was very like,

Speaker 3 I don't know, it felt normal. I don't know.

Speaker 3 Maybe my perspective was different. I love

Speaker 3 what you just mentioned to me. I love

Speaker 3 with all my heart. Okay.

Speaker 5 It just was like, I don't know how it works when you are that religious and have certain beliefs. Like,

Speaker 5 I don't know how it works. Like, do other people that are religious then cut them off completely? We will say, like, the queer community, for example.

Speaker 3 I have

Speaker 3 my one of my dearest friends is one of the gayest people on this planet. He's coming over for dinner tomorrow night, and we're having a movie night.
I love him with, I love him so much.

Speaker 3 Like, his choices don't defy me, but I love him. He's a great person, and he's good to my kids.
He's one of my kids' coaches at the gym, and

Speaker 3 I don't see him any differently than he's my friend.

Speaker 3 Like, that doesn't, that what he does says didn't bother me. It doesn't bother me at all.
Just like I love Becky.

Speaker 5 I still can't believe you met her. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 It's the craziest thing I've ever heard in all that. Okay, so I feel like that's the problem with

Speaker 3 the world that they have put it in people's minds that

Speaker 3 all Christians are the same. Okay.

Speaker 3 I don't want you to have that perception of me because I feel like people who are like that

Speaker 3 aren't really

Speaker 3 living

Speaker 3 life for the Lord like they should because there's no reason for a Christian to judge or condemn anybody of what they do or what they choose to do.

Speaker 5 But they still won't get into heaven.

Speaker 3 That's between

Speaker 3 the person and the Lord.

Speaker 3 I don't make that choice for anybody.

Speaker 3 That's between

Speaker 3 if you're a believer or not, that's between you and the Lord when that day comes. That's not

Speaker 5 so.

Speaker 5 You're not judging

Speaker 5 whether they get into heaven or not is not on you.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 5 You're going to love them while they're here.

Speaker 3 I'm going to love them while they're here. Okay.

Speaker 5 I think that clears up a lot of the feelings that I was having.

Speaker 3 Like I was. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, I would never not love my friends because I was struggling with that so hard really yes stop it why don't you call me because I don't how do you say that to someone I mean and I think it's me

Speaker 5 I know but I was just like

Speaker 5 I think I just have this um also

Speaker 5 like you were saying like the perception of So many Christians.

Speaker 3 There's been people, they call it people who were heavy into church. They call it church hurt.
People who've been in a really religious family growing up.

Speaker 3 They've been hurt by their family and just like the way they treated them. And

Speaker 3 that is a very known common thing for sure. But I hate that that's become the

Speaker 3 generalization. Generalization, the perception of all Christians.
Just like

Speaker 3 a stereotype. There's like a stereotype.
Just like in politics. Well, oh, because you're this color, you must be this.

Speaker 3 Oh, when oh because you're religious oh you must hate gay people oh because you this and that you must like it's it's very like that's what i feel like our society has come to is very black or white and it's not there's so much gray area of people like

Speaker 3 loving people just for who they are not because of what they decide to do what their skin color is what their religion is what their politic views are

Speaker 3 i just feel that's become so like that's what's going, that's what's happened in the world, unfortunately.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, it's probably been like that for a long time.

Speaker 3 And a lot of that is the media, the media makes people believe in it, they're wanting to separate us in that sense. So, and we won't even get into that.

Speaker 5 And now, Sandra's nodding her head in the background, like, yeah, they are.

Speaker 3 That's the problem: is that that's what they want. They want the separation of people.
People, they don't, the more that we come together, the more that we understand what's really happening.

Speaker 3 And they don't want us to come together collectively. I do believe that.
I think we are. That's the problem.
And that's with everything. If you notice, it's

Speaker 3 Christians shouldn't be friends with

Speaker 3 non-Christians.

Speaker 3 Non-believers should not ever, ever speak to a Christian because all Christians are this way and not all non-believers are this way. All gay people are this way.
All heterosexual people are this way.

Speaker 3 That's what they've made it out to be. And that's unfortunate because that's not the case at all.
Because I know a lot of really good-hearted Christian people who love all people.

Speaker 3 I know a lot of people. I mean, the girls go to a Christian school.
I'm around Christians all the time. And people,

Speaker 3 there's certain things that people do that I don't do and vice versa.

Speaker 3 Because that's not why we're not here to be

Speaker 3 the judgers. That's the Lord's job.

Speaker 5 I mean, that definitely makes me feel better because I was

Speaker 5 like, I don't know what this means for our relationship. I don't know what this means for our friendship.
Like, are we going to...

Speaker 3 Don't make me cry harder.

Speaker 3 I love you. I love you too.

Speaker 3 I really do. I would never, ever base my decision of our friendship off of that ever.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Ever. Like, ever.
I mean,

Speaker 3 people change

Speaker 3 their personality. I feel like I'm sit here and talk to you, and my personality is the same.
I just don't drop the F-bomb quite as much.

Speaker 3 But other than that, like I said.

Speaker 5 I will take that out of the entire conversation. I will do my best in 2025 to not cuss as much.

Speaker 3 It's hard. I still

Speaker 5 hard

Speaker 5 when I am like, it's ingrained in me at this point.

Speaker 3 Well, I used, I cussed, I mean, I cussed like a sailor.

Speaker 3 And I feel like, too, with that, like, I feel like even before I decided to give my life to the Lord, I was like, there's just things I needed to work on within myself.

Speaker 3 I was like, why am I feeling so negative? Why am I dropping the F-bomb every other word? Why am I doing that? For what reason?

Speaker 3 Is it filling me with happiness? No.

Speaker 3 Does it make me feel better to talk that way? Not really.

Speaker 3 Maybe I need to make that change. Like, those were like little things that I needed to change.
Like, and it just kind of all like tied in together.

Speaker 3 I don't necessarily think that it just happened to be like, oh, I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian now.
I can't cuss. I can't have sex.

Speaker 3 I can't drink. It was more like.

Speaker 3 You need to get your life together, Sterling. And you are,

Speaker 3 you cry way too much. You're sad about, like,

Speaker 3 there's something wrong. Like, you need to, like, we need to reel it in and we need to make changes.
That was more so, like, I feel like the core of it. And that's why I feel that I am so happy now.

Speaker 3 Cause it's not, it's, it's truly just like a lot of self-reflecting. And I've been single for a very long time.
Can I?

Speaker 5 Two years?

Speaker 3 Almost three years. Yeah, because we were, you know, we broke up in 2021.
And then we kind of were,

Speaker 3 the end of 2021 was like right before Thanksgiving. We were kind of off and on up until my birthday 2023.
So it's been almost two years.

Speaker 5 Have you ever been married?

Speaker 3 Never been married.

Speaker 5 Okay, I was just wondering.

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 5 Remember the rumor?

Speaker 5 That I fucked your husband and then paid you with a with cush money.

Speaker 3 Do you remember? Oh, you bought me a car.

Speaker 5 I bought you a car as hush money.

Speaker 3 Bought me a car as hush money. I slept with your husband.
You slept with my husband. Never been married.

Speaker 3 Never been married. No, she didn't.
She did not buy my car.

Speaker 5 Alessandra was like,

Speaker 5 she was asking questions about you, and she was like, you know, she has two daughters with her ex, with her husband, her ex-husband. And I was like, no, she's literally never been married.

Speaker 5 And she's like, but wait,

Speaker 5 where did the rumor come from then? And we don't know. To this day, we don't know where the rumor started because I've never.

Speaker 3 And I have been engaged, but that wasn't. But that was the person that they said I was married to.

Speaker 5 That wasn't the one that I paid, I bought you the car with much money.

Speaker 3 I forgot. You've been with both of them.

Speaker 5 I've been with, oh, that's right. It was with your fiancé as well.
UFC farmer.

Speaker 3 UFC Fiverr.

Speaker 3 UFC Fiance. UFC Farter.

Speaker 5 I was playing house.

Speaker 3 Playing house with your ex-fiancé. Meanwhile, the video that was taken was here at the house.
The video of him and Lux, I took that video.

Speaker 5 They were like,

Speaker 5 Kale's sleeping with another one of Sarah.

Speaker 3 I took that video, and she was like, send me that. That is so cute.

Speaker 5 Because the kids did love him. So they were like.

Speaker 3 First of all, that man never, he didn't have a shirt on in that picture. No, he didn't.
He never wore a shirt.

Speaker 5 But I got him naked.

Speaker 3 Right. Because you're

Speaker 3 discussing whore.

Speaker 3 I want to circle back to something really quick. I have to sit on the edge of the chair.
I have to sit on the edge of the chair because my feet don't touch the floor.

Speaker 3 Speaking of rumors, you did not buy me a car.

Speaker 5 No, I never had a car. I wish I did a car.
Because that would be like Tana and Brooke. Because Tana brought, do you know who they are, Tana Moja?

Speaker 5 Yes. She bought Brooke a vehicle.
Uh-huh. But you have more money than me, so I wish you would buy me a car.

Speaker 3 First, okay. I'll take a Bronco.

Speaker 3 Okay, we already decided when we're at Granny Gagens.

Speaker 5 G wagons.

Speaker 3 The Granny G wagons. Period.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 You bought me a car. What else? Oh, you took me to the Grammys on a car.
You took me and my family to the Grammys

Speaker 3 on a California trip.

Speaker 5 Her family, Sterling, and her mom, would go every single year with her whole family.

Speaker 3 I started going to the Grammys when I was 11 years old.

Speaker 5 So I get invited. I think it was the year like 2014, maybe?

Speaker 3 20.

Speaker 3 It was

Speaker 5 So, I go to the Grammys with your family.

Speaker 3 With me and my sisters, and your mom, and my mom, and I did not invite

Speaker 3 her.

Speaker 3 I invited her.

Speaker 3 Mind you, this was like my how old are we at the time? 2024. That was 10 years ago.

Speaker 5 We are old as I feel like we should redo the Grammys trip. Like, I feel like we should go to the next Grammys.

Speaker 3 I want to go to CMT's because I like the CMAs?

Speaker 3 CMAs.

Speaker 3 I just have to do it.

Speaker 5 So, we can go next year.

Speaker 3 CMT is a network.

Speaker 5 A big network, yeah. Well, so I

Speaker 5 don't remember the rumors surrounding that situation, but I was very much invited with Sterling and her family. They go every single day.
Did your mom still go to that every year?

Speaker 3 No, my mom hasn't went in a couple of years.

Speaker 3 I don't know why she doesn't go anymore. I kind of stopped going just because like

Speaker 3 work.

Speaker 3 My daughters and both of my girls are in competitive cheer are, and that's literally the core and like the busiest time of competitive cheer because NCA is right around the corner, right after the Grammys, like like after the Super Bowl and all that stuff.

Speaker 3 So, I haven't been in a long time, but we could go to another award show. We could.

Speaker 5 We did spread carpets together, but wait. So, we also've gone on several vacations.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, California. Have we gone anywhere else? We've been to California a couple times together.

Speaker 3 We've been to California a lot. Where else?

Speaker 3 We've came here to Dallas before I lived here.

Speaker 5 Yes, we did. Yeah, we did.

Speaker 5 Because I was with you the first time I ever had Eggs Benedict.

Speaker 3 You did. At that 100% proud of you, because you don't try anything,

Speaker 3 chicken nuggets, and French fries, kind of girl.

Speaker 5 Through and through. And you're like, hollandaise sauce is really hard to make.
And I will never forget that because it is. It's not good everywhere you go.

Speaker 3 Have you tried to make it?

Speaker 3 You need to make a segment.

Speaker 3 Should we do that?

Speaker 5 Cooking with Kale. No, because I have a Cooking with Kale segment on Patreon and it's never good.

Speaker 5 Oh, well, Elisha's mom picked my meal over his the one day.

Speaker 3 You have a

Speaker 3 I won't comment on that. I will never forget you calling me when you first started dating a certain individual.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 you wanted to cook for this man. I mean, I made the best chicken operator I've ever made in my life.

Speaker 5 Homemade from scratch, not like the sauce in a jar.

Speaker 3 Yep. Stayed on the phone with her the whole time she cooked it.

Speaker 5 Facetime. Heavy whipping cream.
All the things.

Speaker 3 All the things. Now it's one of her specialities.

Speaker 5 Do you know I saw a video of my ex making it for his girlfriend.

Speaker 5 The exact same recipe.

Speaker 3 Not my recipe.

Speaker 5 Yes. It was Sterling's recipe from, I mean, this is like heavy whipping cream,

Speaker 5 parjon. Like, it's like the real ingredients from scratch.

Speaker 3 With bacon. You cook the chicken.

Speaker 5 Yes, because you have to cook the chicken in the bacon grease because that is how all the flavor is there. It's a staple.

Speaker 3 This man posted a video.

Speaker 5 Do listen. That's the only thing I listened to.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Because it's also easy to make.

Speaker 5 Once there's many more ingredients, I can't do it.

Speaker 5 But long story short, I see a video right after we break up of him feeding his girlfriend what was what he knows to be my recipe, which is your recipe.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, she's out here talking about how good this is, but she doesn't know that I taught him how to make that.

Speaker 3 And then he hated me so much, and I taught you how to make that.

Speaker 5 Oh, no, I'm making it for his new girlfriend. Oh,

Speaker 3 oh,

Speaker 3 he was nice, though. Good for them.

Speaker 3 No, enjoy the chicken Alfred.

Speaker 5 Don't enjoy the chicken Alfredo.

Speaker 3 It's Kale's recipe. This is where we're different.

Speaker 3 That's where we're different. I'm like, enjoy.
And she's like, don't enjoy.

Speaker 5 Choke on the chicken.

Speaker 3 Choke on the chicken. Like, oh, no.
Don't need to take you to the hospital. That's where we value each other out.
Yeah, I guess. You're like,

Speaker 3 I'll like push you down the stairs. And I'm like, well, if they fall and hurt themselves, I'll have to help them up.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, just let them struggle a little bit.

Speaker 5 We had a small hiatus in our relationship, our friendship, and

Speaker 5 you stayed friends with like Bone and Kway and, you know, the crew.

Speaker 5 What do you think was the most challenging part of our relationship? Do you think it was that time when we were butting heads?

Speaker 3 It wasn't even like butting heads.

Speaker 3 I can't even tell you why we fell off. Can I tell you why? Yeah, tell me why.

Speaker 5 This is just a theory. Okay.
I think I was in a toxic relationship. Okay.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 3 he

Speaker 5 didn't like you for whatever reason or would put, you know, the blame on you.

Speaker 3 We were like cool at first, which was weird. But that's how I was.
I think it's because I started to peep the things he was doing. And I was like, telling you.

Speaker 3 You need to go. He needs to go.

Speaker 5 So, and then you got in a relationship and he didn't like me. And so, I think that we were butting heads because I know for a fact, like, everyone in my life was telling me about that man.

Speaker 5 Everyone was telling me, like, chill out, chill out. There was a time that we dated best friends, cousins.

Speaker 3 Oh, my gosh, I forgot about that. We talked too.

Speaker 5 No, he was my boyfriend.

Speaker 3 Oh, he was. No, that guy was not my boyfriend.

Speaker 5 We weren't talking. Okay, basically, you were like

Speaker 3 canoodling. We were friends.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but we were hanging out.

Speaker 3 I told you 2016 was fun.

Speaker 5 2016 was a wild ride.

Speaker 3 That was a fun.

Speaker 3 I will never forget. The music, everything was such a vibe in 2016.

Speaker 3 People in the whole world collectively agree.

Speaker 5 Have you ever seen TikTok's album about that?

Speaker 3 I ain't even knowing

Speaker 3 that whole album. That sounds reminds me of Becky.
She was obsessed with that. She was obsessed with that song.
She played it at every wedding. She was at.

Speaker 3 First of all, I've never met somebody that's been invited to more weddings in my life. She's Becky Becky.

Speaker 5 Everyone invites her to the wedding.

Speaker 3 Well, she's a good time.

Speaker 5 She's a good time.

Speaker 3 But she played that song everywhere and she would do her little.

Speaker 5 No, because that's literally what she would do. I hope she sees this.
Can we get a clip of that?

Speaker 3 Her little dancy dance.

Speaker 5 I do think it was like in not immaturity. I won't say it's that, but I think our relationships were...

Speaker 5 I also think like

Speaker 5 if there was ever a time that like you would vent to him about me, we would get blamed for the I don't know.

Speaker 5 I think what it boiled down to is they were a lot alike I don't think we ever like fell out I think we just grew apart for a time yeah I think that

Speaker 5 oh I do remember did we fight no okay I remember okay

Speaker 5 I do her memory is as bad as mine

Speaker 3 it's usually pretty great but we were like we only didn't talk it was only like three months it was when you were pregnant with Lux you were pregnant with Lux yeah

Speaker 3 We literally started talking a month before, again, before a month before Lux was born. But we were still talking.
And I remember you showing because you sent me pictures of your belly.

Speaker 3 And I was like, it's so crazy to me that you were just not showing that much because

Speaker 3 you had just

Speaker 3 a TikTok. So with Lux, you couldn't tell you were pregnant at all.
For a long time. For a very long time.
But I remember,

Speaker 3 I remember what it was.

Speaker 5 What was it?

Speaker 3 It was an incident that happened. That was my final straw that you told me.
And then like a couple days later, he was back at your house. And I was like, are you effing kidding me?

Speaker 5 Actually, Becky and I just had a conversation about

Speaker 3 somebody wrote in. I was like, when is enough going to

Speaker 3 enough? Are you going to just, am I going to have to be planning a funeral for you to said that to me? I did. And you were so mad at me.
You were bawling. You were mad.

Speaker 3 You were like, you, you can't, you have no room to talk. Your relationship is so, that's what it was.

Speaker 3 Your relationship is just as toxic. Da-da-da-da.
And I was like, but I've never been physically, like, he's he's physically hurting you. I was like, yeah, I'm getting cheated on left and right.

Speaker 5 Funny, that is.

Speaker 3 But I'm not, he's never put his hands on me, never, never did, never, ever. And I was like, that's where the line should be drawn.
And you were not with that.

Speaker 3 And we literally, you're, it was like more like an F you, F you. It's like, if you can't, F and get away from him.

Speaker 5 So we, it was like,

Speaker 3 I was like, I literally cannot emotionally, like, this is, this is hurting me. As your best friend, this is hurting me.

Speaker 5 Because you were like this. Oh

Speaker 3 Yes, we told each other like any inconvenience that happened in our life.

Speaker 5 I you knew about it

Speaker 3 Guess what somebody just

Speaker 3 Somebody just put me off cut me off on the highway like if you're gonna be able to do something about it You're a hundred miles.

Speaker 5 I vaguely remember that now that you're like saying it. I sort of remember it, but I

Speaker 5 Becky and I just we recorded this morning before I came here.

Speaker 5 Somebody wrote in and was saying how she was was in, she is, her best friend is in a relationship that is so toxic and she doesn't know where the line is.

Speaker 5 And I said to Becky, like in my, you know, it's not really advice, just my experience is like, no matter what,

Speaker 5 I understand why you and Bone both had to remove yourselves from my life from that time because there's nothing that y'all would have said to me that would have made me leave that man. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 5 And the proof was in the pudding. He didn't want to be with me.
And he says that now. Like he didn't want to be with me.
And I fought for it and it wasn't fought back. There's just no,

Speaker 5 nothing you can do when someone is in that relationship and I don't I don't ever fault you or get mad at you guys bone either for stepping away at that time because that is like if if I was on the other side of it I would feel the same way.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like at some point it's like am I gonna plan a funeral? And sometimes I think at that time and I said it to Kristen one time we were in a hotel in Philly. I think it was Philly.

Speaker 5 Maybe it was somewhere else. And I said, I hope he kills me because I don't want to deal with this anymore, but I don't know how to get out.
So I

Speaker 5 hope that he kills me so that I don't have to do this.

Speaker 5 That's how deep I was like stuck.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's, it's such a like the trauma bond that you have and like the codependency is so real. I don't have it anymore.
No,

Speaker 3 thank God. No, for real.
But I get it because like you,

Speaker 3 I feel like even though I like your situation was like all of it in one. Like it was physical, emotional, all the abuse.
I ha I dealt with emotional abuse and like you're

Speaker 3 there the love bombing after it happens is so convincing.

Speaker 5 For everybody, not just my situation.

Speaker 3 I'm not just your situation. And like I was, whenever I, in my relationship that I was in, it was new.
So there was a lot of like

Speaker 3 there was a lot of newness and excitement. So like I'm going through like the the

Speaker 3 the fun part of my relationship and like the newness of it and you're going through like the serious stuff and I'm just like I'm not understanding why you're staying and then whenever I ended up being in a relationship that was I was in that relationship for almost five years

Speaker 3 almost seven years was it that long yeah we met the end of 2016 I can't wait to do this just on the couch oh I can't fucking wait for nights and nights we're gonna reminisce and just cry

Speaker 5 with Ferrero Roche do you know I have trauma with Ferrero Roche And the only reason why I love them is because of you.

Speaker 5 The trauma is my mom left the house for days and left no food. So I found a gift basket that was like 12 years old.
12 is exaggerating. And there was Ferrero Rocher in it.

Speaker 5 So that's what I ate when there was no food in the house. And so I had like trauma with Ferrero Roche.
And then one day you told me they're your favorite candy. So I was like, let me try it.

Speaker 3 And I like that? Yes. Yo, you say things every time we're recording that like makes me want to cry for your inner child.
Did you not hear that story? No. Oh, I think Kristen probably knows that story.

Speaker 3 Have you not heard? Have you told her the one about the

Speaker 3 your mom was gone for a long time? You had to go to the neighbors to get food.

Speaker 3 Okay. Oh, it was my uncle's.
Uncle's.

Speaker 3 I was gone. I know.
I can't. Like,

Speaker 3 I mean, I feel like seemingly, like, I had such a good childhood. So, like, hearing some of the stuff that you say, I'm like, I just can't even fathom that.

Speaker 5 And to me, I'm like, that's regular. You know what I mean? Like, that was like just a regular thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, I just,

Speaker 3 I mean, mean that is hold on we have we could literally be like this could be like four part series guys sorry we can yap in the Bahamas reverting back to the very beginning that was like our conversation of how we bonded like talking about because you were like so you know basically like like I just said I was like I had like a pretty decent normal childhood like it was great

Speaker 3 except for XYZ because of my biological dad and you're like oh that's not your like my dad that I always call dad that I talk about. I was like, no, that's my stepdad, but I, he's my dad.

Speaker 3 No, that's your dad. He raised me.

Speaker 5 No, and he's my dad, too.

Speaker 3 No, literally.

Speaker 3 She looks more like my mother than I do.

Speaker 5 No, Tay Tay could be my mom.

Speaker 3 Literally, my mom didn't have, my mom is a blonde, like a true blonde. She has no blonde children.
And then she came around. I'm like, is this yours? Is this yours? And my mom.
She's also tall.

Speaker 3 My mom is, they're the same height.

Speaker 3 Where did I come from?

Speaker 5 They swapped us at birth.

Speaker 3 They definitely did even though we're a year apart are we yeah you're gonna be 33 right yeah i'm about to be 32.

Speaker 5 wow well we're like it's like 10 months and our birthdays are only like five weeks apart which is great which is so much fun um to switch

Speaker 5 routes that's not no

Speaker 5 switch wears changing gears all right y'all i hope you loved part one of the podcast with sterling i know she was highly requested and because that was recorded before i had surgery obviously we're going to be back with part two.

Speaker 5 This is much more lighthearted. It's going to be a lot of fun.
So tune in for episode two that airs January 24th.