Unfiltered Conversations with Sterling: Part 1

Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird.
It's your fave villain, Kale Wowry. And you're listening to Barely Famous.
Alright y'all, welcome back to another episode of Barely Famous Podcast. And today we have a long-awaited guest, a much asked for guest.
Stop it. Are you serious? Dead serious.
It's Sterling. Hi.

I don't think people

remembered me or cared. Oh no, they remember and they care.
And I think people thought that we had a falling out. And so they were asking for an episode, sort of like a rekindling episode.
And I'm like, we were only not friends for a short period and we never had like three months knock down drag out. It was't a it was more of like um you had pregnancy hormones and also i would say toxic relationships yes were involved but outside of that like we never fought no we never except for about the chicken okay time out so we called becky because sterling had sterling said that she met beck and I didn't recall until – First of all, that is not how it started.
I said, I'm so happy you and Becky are friends again. You know I've always loved Becky.
You were like, you've met her? And the only reason why I jogged my memory was because I had a 4th of July party in – oh, God. I don't even know what year that was.
2016 because I I had already had Mila. Okay.
So you came to Delaware, had a 4th of July party. Becky was there.
Quay was there. Bone didn't come that time.
No. And we got into an argument because Sterling can throw down in the kitchen.
Like all the feasts are on Sterling. I've been here for Thanksgiving.
You've been to my house for Thanksgiving. So it's been like Sterling can throw down.
So you are getting all the chicken prepped. I'm cooking for about 70 people.
Yes. Yeah.
And I'm in my zone. I start butchering the chicken breast and I'm cutting off every line, every weird colored thing.
And Sterling is like, what the fuck? She didn't cuss. I'm exaggerating.
She's the cusser. I just laugh at everything she says.
I'm like mutilating the chicken breast. And Sterling is like, what are you doing? You're not the one eating it.
Everyone else is eating it. Leave it alone.
And I'm upset because I don't want any of that on my chicken. And I'm like, I literally looked at her and I said, I will do yours.
Leave everyone else's alone. Get out of the kitchen.
And you were like, it's my kitchen. And I was like, you don't cook in here.
You're like, I fly here and I fly here and I stay here and I'm usually here for about a week and I cook every single meal. Yeah.
No, you get out. That is a true story.
So that was a wild 4th of July party, but you're right. Becky was there.
2016 still to this day is, was my favorite year of our lives. That was a fun year.
We saw each other more that year than we have in the 10 years we've been for, well, it's been longer than 10 years because Lincoln's 11. So I want to take you guys back and tell you the story about how Sterling and I met because that was never clear on the show.
And we live in two different states. We always have.
So Sterling and I met in person in the Bahamas. Yes.
In the Bahamas at a Cincy. Yes.
Cincy, whatever that was. If you're not familiar with Cincy, it's an MLM and we got sucked those.
And we were on the same team. And so we both earned the trip to the Bahamas.
Yes. We go to the Bahamas.
We meet in the Atlantis Hotel. Yeah.
And we were both with our significant others. They hit it off.
They were besties, having a little bromance. And Sterling and I bonded over the trauma of our lives.
Not baby daddy, but dad trauma. Yeah, biological father.
Biological father trauma. All of that.
Lincoln was not even sitting up. He was an infant.
Yes. He was on the tit the whole trip.
And you were so worried about like, I was ruining your time. And I was like, I literally am the biggest homebody.
We could stay at this hotel the whole time and I would be just fine. So our significant others would go out, have drinks, shop, do their own thing.
And Sterling and I would be like chilling in the room or chilling wherever. And I would have Lincoln breastfeeding.
But from there, we were just, we literally were inseparable. I swear we booked, I literally booked a trip to come see you.
Like I think like a month while we were in the Bahamas. I literally was like, I'm, I'm flying to Delaware.
Why? I'll come to see you. Like you did.
Yeah. I sure did.
And then, um, we Sterling and I got pregnant. Yeah.
Um, sort of planned. Cause I was actively trying.
I think you were trying. We were trying.
Um, and I miscarried unfortunately, but we were actively both trying at the same time. And I miscarried on Veterans Day, which I've been open about.

So it's like not news, but you're, you went to term.

So you have your second daughter.

When I saw you again, you were, you were showing.

And then you came, you came and stayed with me for Christmas.

Yes.

With Lincoln.

It was just you and Link because.

There was a scandal with that too.

Not a scandal, just drama.

Your life, your middle name is scandal. I mean, that would be a cue.
Could you imagine calling a baby like, hey, Scanny. You know what I mean? Scanny.
Praise God. You have your tubes tied so you don't have the opportunity to name a child Scanny.
They're not just tied. They're cut out.
Okay. Thank you.
Thank you.

Who's your doc?

What's your doctor's name?

It's a midwife.

Okay.

Your midwife.

I will call and thank them.

Of course,

I never like don't tie those.

Burn them.

Burn them.

Well,

I tried to get them put in a jar and they wouldn't.

They were like,

these have to go to pathology,

Kale.

I.

You would have liked to see them.

The concern I have for you is.

I feel like you're interested in that stuff.

I am.

But your thought process and like your placentaenta the placenta thing and like painting it i also ate it raw i'm sorry you raw yes was it with the rio or the twins it's on my instagram rio i think it was rio after painting it yeah she did she put the edible paint the edible paint on it, did the little picture. It's like the tree of life.
And then we put it in a blender. Mmm.
Yum. Yeah.
One of my kids also took a sip willingly. I won't say which one.
Well, they only have like a one out of seven chance to guess which one. Actually, was rio one out of five fair elijah wouldn't eat a bite of it though i did ask him but he was rude i know i was like come on like you basically created this placenta this is your this is my organ with your juices so like you should and we know he's had your juices we know you've's had the juices.
Okay. Three babies in the span of a year.
No, literally. Yeah.
Cause they're not, I mean, Rio wasn't even one when the twins were born. Okay.
So wait, so go back. So we have, I have the miscarriage.
We go to, you start showing when we, when you see each other again. And I remember like, it was one of those times that was like super happy for you because, because I knew that we were both trying, but also sad for me.
So it's like, sort of grieving the loss. But I, because that's come up on podcasts before, I think a story was written in about how she felt like her friend should have waited to announce her pregnancy or something because she had lost hers.
And, you know, I have some empathy for that. And I can, I can understand that.
But I never felt that way with you with you. I didn't feel like you shouldn't be able to announce your pregnancy or announce the gender because I lost my baby.
Yeah. And also too, I think it helps to, not that it helps, but I was pregnant.
I did find out I was pregnant first. I told you I was pregnant and you're like, oh my gosh, I hope that I'm pregnant, this, that, and the other.
And then you ended up finding out like a couple of weeks later that you were pregnant.

Wow.

That was my last pregnancy.

Yeah.

That was almost nine years ago.

That was nine years ago.

Yeah.

She's about to be nine.

Here I am.

Only two kids.

I stopped.

Not – I had a mommy makeover and thought I wasn't going to have any more kids and then popped out five more. And now I'm here in Dallas also getting surgery.
Oh yeah. No, let's, let's, okay.
I want to talk about it. I want to talk about that because I have questions.
Okay. Can I just tell you one funny story before the surgery thing? Or do you want me to tell you that after? Right now.
Okay. So the last, if it's funny, like I might laugh and like cough and I might sound like a smoker.
I don't smoke. I've been sick and I smell, I sound ridiculous when I get tickled.
So we'll add as much of the coughing as possible. Seriously.
The last time I was physically at Sterling's house, it was Thanksgiving, was here with my ex, not one of the baby dads. And just to clarify, and I had an ingrown toenail.
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
And I did not want him to know that I had an ingrown toenail. And I was hiding in this room that we're sitting in, probably sitting in this chair or that one.
And Sterling was like, let me get your ingrown toenail. And she was digging at my foot and he's in the other room.
And I'm like, okay, stop. I think he's coming.
Like, stop. I'm like, is it ingrown toenail? He's seen your vagina.
But I did not want him to see my ingrown toenail, which is a sign that we probably shouldn't have been together to begin with. That one was a no for me, dog.
He was a nice guy. He was very nice.
That was the downfall. That was his downfall but also he's he's up right now because you walked all over and bless his heart yeah i do i've i'm open about the regrets i have i mean there's no like regrets y'all just were not compatible well i still could have been a better person you were also in your depression grieving face so that's what she said she literally said those words verbatim on the way here that's why like that's not okay to treat someone it's not but i feel like that's why it works with elijah because he's also very nice and very calm and collected he yeah they both i think um like mellow try to like manage not manage balance balance the you balance the, you know, the little crazy in me.
The difference between that relationship and Elijah is that he's very, when you are in that crazy phase, he'll just like walk away and be like, I'll come back whenever you're done. I don't have time for this.
He doesn't. Versus that other relationship was more like, what can I do to fix it? Yeah.
Please let me help you. I don't want to like, it was like trying to like fix it right there.
And you're like, get away from me. 1000%.
And Elijah's like, has no interest in trying to fix it when you're like that. He's like, all right, I'll come back in a little bit.
I'll come back in a little bit. Okay.
So surgery, surgery. Okay.
Um, I went to my pre-op yesterday and I thought I was going to get my chin done, but he was like, no, girl, that's skin. He didn't say it like that, but he was like, that's skin.
You need to get that laser. That's skin from the weight loss, which is good.
And then he also said the same thing for my arms. He can't really do anything with my arms right now because it would just be skin sagging um i'm getting a he's gonna merge my tummy tuck scar from 2016 and my c-section scar so that it's just one scar and it's lower which is nice and then he's gonna revert um revise where my muscles stretched back out alessandra went with me so she could also just confirm anything I'm fucking up.
And because having five babies after a tummy tuck, it just stretched right back out. Yeah.
So are you doing like another tummy tuck? No, I don't have to get a new tummy tuck. He's just going to go back in and tighten the muscles so he doesn't have to mess with my belly button.
He doesn't have to like remove more skin. He doesn't have to do any of that.
And then he's going to do some lipo. A a tummy tuck usually comes with lipo so like you can't pull the skin down without taking some fat out so he's going to remove that and then also take some lipo out of my or take some fat out of my back so it's a little bit more proportionate because i'm going to um like a b like a b cup oh that's amazing i want mine done so badly that's why i have questions yeah did they say like recovery is a lot smoother um he said it the woman said it really depends on the person we also got our boobs done at the same time yes no you were first like same year yeah we did because i remember getting mine done and you were asking questions because you're like i, I really want mine done.
And then what if we got them done?

Like a year later,

we were like,

I hate them.

They're way too big.

And I still,

to this day,

almost 10 years later,

bigger because I've put on,

I put on weight,

lose weight,

put on weight.

He did say that he does not have to do.

Remove my nipples.

Remove your nipples.

They did that the first time. they removed them yes no yes they can't remove them yes they can he said that she was there she was my witness around mine i'll show you they just blur this out but you can leave it in the episode you see the scar all the way i have the same scar too but they don't remove it no they do mine were removed he said we don't have to do that this time like put it on a platter yes she was she's there i'm not making this up because sometimes my memory wasn't like that so they did mine then they cut a line down underneath yep they moved the nipple up but like it was still attached mine wasn't like they took the nipple off i thought they couldn't do that because it would mess up like um like your like production i think it's called necrosis it can't oh why i was never able to successfully breastfeed after did.
Because you had your nipple on a platter.

Yeah.

Basically.

But he's like, we don't have to do that this time.

Like you don't have to worry about it.

I did not know that.

Why did I not know that?

And I used to watch Dr. Miami faithfully.

We were obsessed with him before you got that done. That's why I had to go to him because I was like, I'm obsessed.

I was on – I only had Snapchat to watch him. I love – love and i i still do like i had a everyone has a different experience and i'm not here for dr miami slander like do not write into me and talk shit about him i to this day like him now yeah i think people just don't like if you look him up on the internet like people say horrible things and i'm just like i cannot speak to anyone else's experience i.
I can only speak to my experience. And, um, I would have gone to him again.
Like if Dr. Dallas didn't work out or he didn't have availability.
Oh, are they? I think so. Well, if he would have not had availability, I got into this appointment as fast as I did because they were able to get me in.
If they couldn't and Dr. Miami had the availability, I would have went right back to him.
I'm glad it's here because then we get to spend 10 days together.

So exciting.

I'm so excited.

Elijah will be here.

So you'll get to see him for briefly.

Love him.

Yeah.

Love him.

So he's going to take care of me.

My surgery is at 630 in the morning.

Oh, praise God.

He's going to be there for that because I was not waking up for that.

No.

I understand. I understand.
And it's also a six or seven hour procedure. praise god he's gonna be i was not waking up for that no so much i understand

and it's also a six or seven hour procedure for lipo 360 taking your nipples off mood reduction yes and um tummy tuck revision revision so is that like a burning or is that like a...

He's pulling them together.

So he's going to cut one off.

So he's pulling them together so he's gonna cut one off he's gonna make the fupa smaller too yeah okay they did tell me you know what's the craziest part of this whole thing we're going over like pre-op care and her name's polly and she's like casually like and make please make sure that it's three inches or less your hair your pubic hair is three inches or less and i look at her and i go three inches and she's three inches three inches is crazy three inches is you're three inches and she's like you'd be surprised i said what do you do turn them away she's like no we have to shave them first first of all i did not know that your hair could grow that long down there three inches is crazy i mean that's like this that's like someone with a pixie cut. That's bigger than a penis I've been with.
You know what I mean? I know who too. So I'm cracking up because I'm like three inches or less is crazy.
I had to go get all my permanent jewelry cut off yesterday. Permanent jewelry cut off? Yeah, because you can't have jewelry on for the surgery.
And I had permanent jewelry on that I didn't take off. Like anklets, bracelets, necklace.
Oh. I didn't know you had permanent jewelry.
Yeah, it makes me feel put together. What do you mean? What is permanent jewelry? You can't take it off.
It's like you have to cut it off. There's places all here why am i so behind on life and do i live under a rock same no your rock is bigger than yours very small because you can see over it what the fuck i just literally can't i almost said that's word you're religious early now you're not allowed cut.
I did give my life to the Lord almost two years ago. Can we talk about it? We can.
Okay. I have some questions.
Yeah. So you try not to, you try not to cut since we, since I was last year in Dallas, you found your faith.
Yes. Well, you, we, we saw each other.
When were you here? I came here for my Dallas show in September. So we saw each other two months ago, three months ago, but it was only for a couple hours.
It wasn't, or it was like a day thing. And then you came to my show and then you had to come back home.
Mind you, before we get to that, I have to mention that I laugh every single time I think about you coming out on that stage and me bawling of just a proud moment for knowing where you started, where you are now. And like, I think about the scenario of which I was crying because I'm so proud.
And I'm like, I'm literally sobbing and you're up there singing, getting dicked down in Dallas. And I'm, I'm in shambles.
Like I'm so proud of her. You're like the mom in Mean Girls, where she's mom, where they're like doing this hoe dance.
And she's just like, yes, you're doing amazing, sweetie. So proud.
And you're, I'm getting dicked down in Dallas. And then she, we make eye contact and she's like, oh my gosh, don't cry.
Because I can't cry when I'm singing that. Like're getting teamed up in tennessee i don't have time to cry right now oh my gosh i i laugh every time i think about it i was like i was really bawling while you were singing big down in dallas what should i sing in austin should we sing that again because it's anal in austin okay it's anal in austin yeah getting butt fucked in boston anal in austin tag teamed up in Tennessee.
Oh, you are, you listened to that song. No, that's your favorite.
Lindsay was the one that told me that song and I've been singing it ever since. Okay, wait, let's, okay.
Talking about your faith. You don't cuss.
Since the last time I was here at your house, you also went through some stuff in your own personal life. You found your faith.
How has your life changed since you found your faith? For the better, a lot more positivity, joy. I feel like it helped me seriously like wash away and get rid of, do away with my last relationship I was in.
Um, because I feel like if I didn't turn to the Lord, I would have continued that same toxic cycle. It just was not healthy at all.
It wasn't healthy for any of us, any of us. When you decided to make changes that can't like, you're not just going to church, right? Like you have your kids in private school.
You are involved in the church. You're involved at the school.
So you're not just going to church, right? Like you are fully immersed in religion. Yeah.
So with that being said, did you feel like your friendships also had to change? Like not just your toxic relationship, but also friendships? No, I feel because when you love people and you value a friendship, you pray for them and meet them where they're at and just, and have the faith that they'll come to that moment as well. I don't feel like the friendships necessarily changed.
I feel like it's more so of like a, how can I word it? Like I feel like I just, I have more appreciation for people and like an understanding. So you don't.
Because there's more grace there to understand that not everybody is going to be where you are. Because I wasn't there for almost 30, for 30 years.
Right. I was, I mean, I've always been a Christian, but actually like living my life for the Lord, I was not doing so.
I was, there was a lot of flaws. There was a lot of things that I needed to change.
And I don't know. I feel like you should just still love the people, love the people that you have in your life and understand that people aren't going to be where you are at and that's okay.
And just pray for them that they can get there. And if they don't, there's an understanding that there's always, there's, there's, I don't know how to word it.
It's so hard to talk about because I'm like, I just don't feel that it's right to judge people for what they, what they decide to do. I don't necessarily have to agree with it, but I'm not going to judge you for it.
It's not my, I'm not going to condemn anybody for

their decisions because people didn't condemn me for mine. You know, when I, when we talked in Dallas the last time when I was here in September, it scared me.
What scared you? How religious you are really yeah why it scared me because i felt like our

don't live my life that way. And I probably never will.
And I was... Our relationship has had...
and yours has ebbed and flowed, right? Like

sometimes we're closer than others based on our family, based on our circumstances, whatever we have going on in life. But I never felt a disconnect from you.
Like I always know that I could call you and vice versa, right? Like you could call me at any point and we pick up wherever we left off. Yeah.
When I realized how deep your faith goes at this point, I'm thinking, okay, so that basically means that we can't be friends because I don't live my life like that and you don't agree with it. So we're not aligned.
Like we can't, like your faith won't allow you to be friends with someone like me or or even just how i live my life right like i i would consider myself part of like the queer community right you knew my ex-girlfriend so like you know that i have not lived a life that is you know of the God. Right.
Like, I don't even know how to,

like what the wording is. So like I, it scared me because I was like, okay, this is where our friendship ends.
I don't want you, first of all, I don't want you to be scared because that's not the case at all. I feel like I have patience and understanding and love people more.
Now, do I think that

doesn't make me sad

like certain decisions that people make in my life? Yes. But I also sometimes don't always make the best decisions.
Just as I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm like a robot. I make mistakes.
I literally was cussing this morning because I was pissed at something and I have to reel it back in. I'm like, you really need to calm it down.
Like I make mistakes. I definitely make mistakes.
I'm just more cautious of like making those mistakes and understanding that like I don't have – there's just certain things to me that's just not worth to do anymore. Not even just for like my faith but for – not my faith but but my, for my, um, my walk with the Lord, but for my health too.
Um, I, there's just a lot of things that I changed and I cut out of my life, but people, I know a lot of Christians that do things that I don't even do. It's just, for me, it's a personal choice, you know, and it doesn't mean that I don't, like, I have friends who are frequent churchgoers and very involved in church that still drink and do what, like, you still

live your life. Like, it's just, I just feel like I, the Lord has come into my heart and it fills

me more with joy. I feel like I'm a lot happier.
And that's the ultimate thing for me that I feel

like I'm able to talk to people and spread that happiness versus rather than saying like, Oh, whenever someone has asked, like, Hey, how are you? You're instead just like, Oh, I guess I'm all right. Like, you know, rather than that glass half empty, it's like the glass is more half full now.
And I feel like for me, just because I have that relationship with the Lord, that, that it's because of the Lord, not because I'm like making all these changes. I have to cut this person out or this person out.
Like that's not the case at all. Well, that's right.
That's what it felt like. I was just like.
Really? Yeah. A conversation in the hotel? Yeah.
Stop. Yeah.
No. I was like, I just don't know how we move forward from here.
Because if I constantly am doing certain things that you don't align with, how can you be friends with someone that you don't align with that much? I think that with any friendship, like if you come to me about something and you're running and you're seeking advice, my advice is always going to be the route of like, what's going to be the better outcome for you in the long run? I'm not going to sit there and and Bible thump you. I'm not going to just throw that at you like that.
I'm going to more so be like, do I agree with what you did? No, I still love you. But maybe next time you could do it like this.
Try it like this. And if you do it, you do.
If you don't, you don't. I can't control the dynamic of what people decide to do and that's the beauty of like with where I'm at and I know where I stand and I can only give that advice but I'm not like if you don't do that, I can't be your friend.
Does that make sense? Because I love you for who you are and that's why we've stayed friends for long. Because I also don't indulge into other – like if somebody is having problems, I only try to give them the comfort and the positivity versus like investing myself fully into it and bringing on that burden.
Because I feel that with friendships and relationships, we tend to put on other people's burdens and problems onto ourselves. Right.
Like before we even started recording, I was telling you all this stuff and you go, wow, that's a lot. You didn't really bring it.
Right. Put it, put it on me to make, to upset me.
It's more so like, man, that really sucks that that's going on with you. I'm going to pray for that, but I'm not going to bring that onto me and put that stress onto myself.
Okay. So versus used to, I would, I would be, I would like be like, that would stress me out.
I would internalize it. I would be, wow.
That's like, like, how can I fix that? I, how can I, and I can more so like give like my advice to it, but like, I can't, I can't fix it. If that makes sense.
But I, I don't want you to be scared. That's well.
And just like, it just like makes me sad you know we had the conversation about someone else um and your beliefs on that was you know very different than you know where i stand on it i don't i don't think that we need to air like what it was about but yeah because of those beliefs would it change the relationship if that person doesn't live sort of the way that you believe what does that look like for our friendship and for y'all's relationship because you know what happens we don't agree on certain things that for me is like not necessarily religious, but like you don't identify or align with certain things. How do we move forward in a relationship, right? Like how do we continue our friendship when we don't? And this goes not just for us, but like people who are, you know, when I was married, he was grew up Catholic and I wasn't religious.
And that just never was like a point of contention for us. And I know for a lot of people, it can be whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, a parental child situation.
I feel like it kind of goes the same with politics. I feel that you, when you love somebody in your life, you have an understanding for their point of view and not argue about their point of view.
I think that that's maturity. I feel the

same. If you don't have the same beliefs in certain things about parenting, about religion,

about politics, you can still be friends with somebody. You just have to understand that

you don't have to have the same views to know that you still like that person for who they are,

not by their beliefs. I think that it goes for a lot of things.
Like you, people live their lives. I have a lot of friends who live different lives than me and like different than you.
So people, so many people, just like you said, with your ex husband, you were able to be in that marriage, even though he was Catholic, you were not, you know, I think, and it goes, it's very different with friendship because you're not aligning your life together. We're not, I'm not basing my life off of our friendship and like, we're not doing life together, like a relation, like a marriage.
So you're saying it's like almost easier because of that or no? I think so with a friendship. I feel like in a marriage, it can, there can be, that's usually the biggest problems in marriages, finances, religion, politics, politics.
Yeah. Or money, money, money's a big one.
Yeah. Finances for sure are in religion are two of the most common factors of divorce if they don't understand that there's like a difference in beliefs there before they establish before they get married right i feel like that's very common but in a friendship i don't feel that way i don't know i'm like just out here.
I don't know. I just, I think because of how quickly, well, it felt quick to me.
Maybe it wasn't quick to you because we don't see each other often. It felt so in depth, so fast.
And I was just like, oh, like the next thing I know, you're going to have to cut me off because that's just how I associate with people with religion in general, not just you. I've been heavily involved in church for two years and we've still been talking friends.
I know, but I guess the first deeply religious conversation that we had. Okay.
I think that's where I was like. I thought in my perspective, it went like, well, and like you like had really good questions.
And I have a lot of questions. I like, I was very like, I don't know.
It felt normal. I don't know.
Maybe my perspective was different. I love what you just mentioned to me.
I, I love with all my heart. Okay.
I just was like, I don't know how it works when you are that religious and have certain beliefs like i don't know how it works like do other people that are religious then cut them off completely we will say like the queer community for example i have my one of my dearest friends is one of the gayest people on this planet. He's coming over for dinner tomorrow night and we're having a movie night.
I love him with, I love him so much. Like his choices don't define me, but I love him.
He's a great person and he's good to my kids. He's one of my kids at the gym and i don't i don't see him any differently than he's my friend like that doesn't that what he does doesn't bother me it doesn't bother me at all just like i love becky i still can't believe you met her that's crazy it's the craziest thing i've heard all.
So I feel like that's the problem with the world that they have put it in people's minds that all Christians are the same. Okay.
I don't want you to have that perception of me because I feel like people who are like that, um, aren't really living life for the Lord Lord like they should, because there's no reason for a Christian to judge or condemn anybody of what they do or what they choose to do. But they still won't get into heaven.
That's between the person and the Lord. I don't make that choice for anybody.
that's between if you're a believer or not

that's between you and the Lord

when that day comes, that's not. So you don't, you're not judging whether they get into heaven or not is not on you.
No, you're going to love them while they're here. I'm going to love them while they're here.
Okay. I think that clear clears up a lot of the feelings that I was having.
Like was yeah no i i would never not love my friends because i was struggling with that so hard really yes stop it why didn't you call me because i don't how do you say that to someone i mean and i think it's me i know but i was just like i think i just have this um also like like you were saying like the perception of so many christians there's been people they call it people who were heavy into church they call it church hurt people who've been in a really religious family growing up they've been hurt by their family and just like the way they treated them.

And,

um,

that is,

that is very known common thing for sure.

But I hate that that's become the.

Generalization.

Generalization,

the perception of all Christians.

Just like.

Like a stereotype.

There's like a stereotype.

Just like in politics. Well, Oh, because you're this color color you must be this you're oh when oh because you're religious oh you must hate gay people oh because you this and that you must like it's it's very like that's what i feel like our society's come to it's very black or white and it's not there's so much gray area of people like loving people just prefer that who they are, not because of what they decide to do, what their skin color is, what their religion is, what their politic views are.
I just feel that's become so like, that's what's going, that's what's happened in the world. Unfortunately.
Yeah. Well, it's probably been like that for a long time.
A lot of that is the media. The media makes people believe in it.
They're wanting to separate us in that sense. So, and we won't even get into that.
Alessandra's nodding her head in the background. Like, yeah, that's the problem is that that that's what they want.
They want the separation of people. People, they don't, the more that we come together, the more that we understand what's really happening and they don't want us to come together collectively.
I do believe that. I think we are.
That's the problem. And that's with everything.
If you notice, it's Christians shouldn't be friends with non-Christians. Non-believers should not ever, ever speak to a Christian because all Christians are this way and not all non-believers are this way.
All gay people are this way. All heterosexual people are this way.
All that's what they've made it out to be. And that's unfortunate because it's not, that's not the case at all.
Cause I know a lot of really good hearted Christian people who love all people. I know a lot of people.
I mean, go the girls go to a Christian school. I'm around Christians all the time and people, there's so many things that people do that I don't do vice versa because we, that's not why we're not here to be the judges.
That's the Lord's job. I mean, that definitely makes me feel better.
Cause I was, I was like, I don't know what this means for our relationship. I don't know what this means for our friendship.
Like, are we gonna, don't make me cry harder. I love you.
I love you too. I really do.
I would never, ever base my decision of our friendship off of that ever. Okay.
Like ever. I'm glad people change their personality.
I feel like I'm like, sit here and talk to you and I, i my personality is the same i just don't drop the f-bomb quite as much but other than that i will take that um out of the entire conversation i will do my best in 2025 to not cuss as much it's hard i still no it's hard it's so hard a couple times when i am like, it's ingrained in me at this point. Well, I used, I, I mean, I cussed like a sailor and I feel like too with that.
Like, I feel like even before I decided to give my life to the Lord, I was like, there's just things I needed to work on within myself. I was like, why am I feeling so negative? Why am I dropping the F bomb? Every other word? Why am I doing that? For what reason?

Is it, is it filling me with happiness? No. Does it make me feel better to talk that way? Not really.

Maybe I need to make that change. Like those were like little things that I needed to change.
Like,

and it just kind of all like tied in together. I don't necessarily think that it just happened to

be like, Oh, I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian now.
I can't cuss. I can't have sex.
It was more like you need to get your life together, Sterling. And you are, you cry way too much.
You're sad about like, there's, there's something wrong. Like I, you need to like, we need to reel it in and we need to make changes.
That was more so like, I feel like the core of it. And that's why I feel that I am so happy now.
Cause it's not, it's truly just like a lot of self-reflecting. And I've been single for a very long time.
And I, two years, almost three years. Yeah.
Cause we were, you know, we broke up in 2021 and then we kind of were in the 2021 was like right before Thanksgiving. We were kind of off and on up until my birthday, 2023.
So it's been almost two years. Have you ever been married? Never been married.
Okay. I was just wondering why remember the rumor that I fucked your husband and then paid you with a with kush money do you remember you bought me a car i bought you a car as hush money bought me a car because i slept with your husband slept with my husband never been married never been married no she did not buy my car alessandra was like she she was asking questions about you and she was like you know she has two daughters with her ex with her husband her ex-husband and i was like no she's literally never been married and she's like but wait yeah where did the rumor come from then and we don't know to this day we don't know where the rumor started because i've never and i i have been engaged but that wasn't the person that they said i was married to that wasn't the one that i paid i bought you the car with i forgot you've been.
I've been with. Oh, that's right.
It was with your fiance as well. UFC fighter.
UFC fighter. UFC fighter.
I was playing house playing house with your ex fiance. Meanwhile, the video that was taken was here at the house.
The video of him and Lux. I took that video.
They were like, Kale sleeping with another one of Sterling's men. I took that video and she was like, send me that.
That is so cute. Because the kids did love him.
So they were like. First of all, that man never, he didn't have a shirt on in that picture.
No, he didn't. He never wore a shirt.
Ever. But I got him naked.
Right. Because you're a disgusting wh want to i want to circle back to something really quick

i have to sit on the edge of the chair because i my feet don't touch the floor

speaking of rumors you did not buy me a car no i wish i did a car because that would be like

tana and brooke because tana brought do you know who they are tana yes i yes she bought brooke a

vehicle but you have more money than me so i wish you would buy me a car first i'll take a bronco

Okay, so we already decided when we're granny wagons the granny g wagons period okay you bought me a car what else oh you took me to the grammys on a you took me and my family to the grammys first of all for a trip her family sterling and her mom would go every single year with her whole family started going to the grammys when i was 11 years old so i get invited i think it was a year like 2014 maybe 20 it's 2015 so i go to the grammys with your family with me and my sisters and your mom and my mom and i did not invite sterling invited me i invited her mind you this was like my how old are we at the time 2024 that was 10 years ago we are old as i feel like we should redo the grammys trip like i feel like we should go to the next grammys i want to go to cmts because iTs because I like. The CMAs? The CMAs.
I just said CMTs. So we can go next year.
CMT is a network. A network, yeah.
Well, so I don't remember the rumors surrounding that situation, but I was very much invited with Sterling and her family. They go every single.
Did your mom still go to that every year? No, my mom hasn't went in a couple of years. I don't know why I don't know why she doesn't go anywhere.
I kind of stopped going just because like you got work. Yeah.
Work. My daughters and both of my girls are in competitive cheer are, and that's literally the core and like the busiest time of competitive cheer because NCA is right around the corner, right after the Grammys, like after the Super Bowl and all that stuff.
So I haven't been in a long time, but we could go to another award show. We could could we did red carpets together but wait so we also we've gone on several vacations yeah uh puerto rico dominican republic california have we gone anywhere else we've been to california a couple times together we've been to california a lot where else we came here to dallas before i lived here yes we did yeah we did um.
Because I was with you the first time I ever had Eggs Benedict. You did.
At that one hotel. I was so proud of you because you don't try anything.
She's a chicken nuggets and french fries kind of girl. Through and through.
And you were like, Hollandaise sauce is really hard to make. And I will never forget that because it is.
It's not good everywhere you go. Have you tried to make it? No.

You need to make a segment.

Should we do that?

Cooking with Kale.

No, because I have a Cooking with Kale segment on Patreon.

And it's never good.

Oh, well, Elisha's mom picked my meal over his the one day.

You have a...

I won't comment on that.

I will never forget you calling me when you first started dating a certain individual and you wanted to cook for this man. I need to be the best chicken alfredo I've ever made in my life.
Homemade from scratch. Not like the sauce in a jar.
Yep. Stayed on the phone with her the whole time she cooked it.
FaceTime. Heavy whipping cream.
All the things. All's one of her specialties do you know i saw a video of my ex making it for his girlfriend the exact same not my recipe yes it was sterling's recipe from i mean this is like heavy whipping cream parmesan like it's like the real ingredients from scratch with bacon you could yes because you have to cook the chicken in the bacon grease because that is how all the flavor is there.
It's a staple. This man posted a video.
That's the only thing I listened to because it's also easy to make. I, once there's many more ingredients, I can't do it.
But long story short, I see a video right after we break up of him feeding his girlfriend, what was, what he knows to be my recipe, which is your recipe. And I'm like, she's out here talking about how good this is, but she doesn't know that I taught him how to make that.
And then he hated me so much. And I taught you how to make.
No, I'm making it for his new girlfriend. Oh, Oh, he was nice though.
He was. Good for them.
No. Enjoy the chicken Alfredo.
Don't enjoy the chicken Alfredo. It's kale's recipe.
This is where we're different. That's where we're different.
I'm like, enjoy. And she's like, don't enjoy.
Choke on the chicken. Choke on the chicken.
I'm like, oh no, do I need to take you to the hospital that's where we value each other out yeah i guess you're like i'll like push you down the stairs

and i'm like well if they fall and hurt themselves i'll have to help them up and i'm like just let

them struggle a little bit

We had a small hiatus in our relationship our friendship and you stayed friends with like bone and quay and you know the crew what do you think was the most challenging part of our relationship do you think it was that time when we were butting heads it wasn't even like butting heads are i can't even tell you why we fell out can i tell you why yeah tell me why this is just a theory okay i think i was in a toxic relationship okay and he he didn't like you for whatever reason or would put you know the blame on you were like cool at first which was weird but that's how they are because i i started to peep the things he was doing and i was like telling you about it you need to go he needs to go so and then you got in a relationship and he didn't like me and so i think that we were butting heads because i know for a fact, like everyone in my life was telling me about that man.

Everyone was telling me like, chill out, chill out.

There was a time that we dated best friends, cousins.

Oh my gosh. I forgot about that.

We talked to friends.

No, he was my boyfriend.

Oh, he was?

No, that guy was not my boyfriend.

We were talking.

Okay.

Basically, you were like canoodling. We were friends.
Yeah. But we were talking okay basically you were like canoodling we were friends yeah but they were we were hanging out i told you 2016 was fun 2016 was a wild ride was that was a fun i will never forget the music everything was such a vibe in 2006 you know people in the whole world collectively agree have you ever seen drake's album about that um i ain't you know that whole album reminds me of becky she was obsessed with that song she played it at every wedding she was at first of all i've never met somebody that's been invited to more weddings in my life she becky everyone invites her to the wedding well she's a good time she's a good time but

she played that song everywhere and she would do her little no because that's literally what she would do yeah i hope she sees this can we get a clip of that her little dancey dance um i i do think it was like in not immaturity i won't say it's that but i think our relationships were i also think like if there was ever a time that like you would vent to him about me we would get blamed for the

I don't know

I think what it boiled down to is they were a lot alike. I don't think we ever like fell out.
I think we just grew apart for a time. Yeah.
I think that. Oh, I do remember.
Do we fight? No. Okay.
I remember. Okay.
I do. Her memory is as bad as mine.
It's usually pretty great, but we were like, we only didn't talk. It wasn't like three months.
It was when you were pregnant with Lux, you were pregnant with Lux. Yeah.
We literally started talking a month before, again, before a month before Lux was born, but we were still talking. And I remember you showing, cause you sent me pictures of your belly.
And I was like like it's so crazy to me that you were just not showing that much because like you're you had just had a tummy tuck so like with lux you couldn't tell you were pregnant like at all for a long time a very long time but i remember i remember what it was what was it it was an incident that happened that was my final straw that you told me and then like a couple days later you he was back at your house and i was like are you effing kidding me actually becky and i just had a conversation about somebody wrote in i was like when is enough gonna enough are you gonna just are you am i gonna have to be planning a funeral for you to you said that to me i did and you were did. And you were so mad at me.
You were bawling. You were mad.
You were like, you have no room to talk. Your relationship is so – that's what it was.
Your relationship is just as toxic. And I was like, but I've never been physically – he's physically hurting you.
I was like, yeah, I'm getting cheated on left and right. But I'm not – he's never put his hands on me.
Never, never did, never, ever. And I was like, i'm getting cheated on left and right funny but i'm not he's never put his hands on me never never did never ever and i was like that's where the line should be drawn and you were not with that and we literally here it was like more like an f you f you it's like if you can't f and get away from him i was like i literally cannot emotionally like this is this This is hurting me as your friend this is hurting me because we were like this oh yes we told each other like any inconvenience that happened in our life i you knew about it guess what somebody just somebody just cut me off cut me off on the highway like if you're gonna be able to do something about it you're you're a hundred miles, a thousand miles away.
I vaguely remember that now that you're like saying it, I sort of remember it, but I, Becky and I just, we recorded this morning before I came here. Somebody wrote in and was saying how she was in, she is, her best friend is in a relationship that is so toxic and she doesn't know where the line is.
And I said to Becky, like in my, you know, it's not really advice. Just my experience is like, no matter what, I understand why you and Bone both had to remove yourselves from my life from that time, because there's nothing that y'all would have said to me that would have made me leave that man.
Yeah, I know. And the proof was in the pudding.
He didn't want to be with me. And he says that now, like he didn't want to be with me.
And I fought for it. And it wasn't fought back.
There's just no nothing you can do when someone is in that relationship. And I don't I don't ever fault you or get mad at you guys bone either for stepping away at that time.
Because that is like, if, if I was on the other side of it, I would feel the same way. Yeah.
Like at some point, it's like, am I going to plan a funeral? And sometimes I think at that time, and I said it to Kristen one time, we were in a hotel in Philly. I think it was Philly.
Maybe it was somewhere else. And I said, I hope he kills me because I don't want to deal with this anymore, but I don't know how to get out.
So I hope that he kills me so that I don't have to do this. That's how deep I was like yeah it's it's such a like the trauma bond that you have and like the codependency is so real i don't have it anymore no say that thank god no for real but i get it because like you i feel like even though i like your situation was like all of it in one, like it was physical, emotional, all the abuse I had, I dealt with emotional abuse and like you're there.
The love bombing after it happens is so convincing for everybody. Not just my situation.
I'm not just your situation. And like I was whenever I, in my relationship that I was in, it was new.
So there was a lot of like there was a lot of newness and excitement. So like I'm going through like the the the fun part of my relationship and like the newness of it.
And you're going through like the serious stuff. And I'm just like, I'm not understanding why you're staying.
And then whenever I ended up being in a relationship that was, I was in that relationship for almost five years, almost seven years. Was it that long? Yeah.
We met the end of 2016. I can't wait to do this just on the couch.
Oh, I can't fucking wait for nights and nights. We're going to reminisce and just cry.
Ferrero Rocher. do you know i have trauma with ferrero rocher and the only reason why i love them is because of you the trauma is my mom left the house for days and left no food so i found a gift basket that was like 12 years old 12 is exaggerating um and there was ferrero rocher in it so that's what i ate when there was no food in the house and so i had like trauma with Ferrero Rocher.
And then one day you told me they're your favorite candy. So I was like, let me try it.
Do you remember that? Yes. You say things every time we're recording that like makes me want to cry for your inner child.
Did you not hear that story? No. Oh, I think Kristen probably knows that story.
Have you not – have you told the one about the – your mom was gone for a long time. You had to go to the neighbors to get food.
Yeah, she did. Okay.
Oh, it was my uncle's. Your uncle's.
Jesus Christ. It was making me so – like, every time.
I know. I can't – like, I mean, I feel like seemingly, like, I had such a good childhood.
So, like, hearing some of the stuff that you say, I'm like, I just can't even fathom that. And to me, I'm like, that's regular.
You know what I mean? Like, like it's just a thing yeah like i just i mean that is hold on we have we could literally be like this could be like four-part series guys sorry we can yeah in the bahamas reverting back to the very beginning that was like our conversation of how we bonded like talking about because you were like so So, know, basically like, like I just said, I was like, I had like a pretty decent normal childhood. Like it was great except for X, Y, Z because of my biological dad.
And you were like, Oh, that's not your, like my dad that I always call dad that I talk about. I was like, no, that's my stepdad, but I, he's my dad.
No, that's your dad. He raised me.
No, and he's my dad too. No, literally.
She looks more like my mother than I do. No, Tay Tay could be my mom.
Literally. My mom is a blonde, like a true blonde.
She has no blonde children. And then she came around.
I'm like, is this yours? Is this yours? She's also tall. My mom is – they're the same height.
Where did I did i come from they swapped us at birth they definitely did even though we're a year apart are we yeah you're gonna be 33 right yeah i'm about to be 32 wow well we're like it's like 10 months and our birthdays are only like five weeks apart which is great which is so much fun um to switch routes. That's not true.
Switch gears, changing

gears. All right, y'all.
I hope you loved part one of the podcast with Sterling. I know she was

highly requested. And because that was recorded before I had surgery, obviously, we're going to

be back with part two. This is much more lighthearted.
It's going to be a lot of fun.

So tune in for episode two that airs January 24th.