Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder

Speaker 1 Daddy gang, what's up, fuckers? It is your father. I am here to feed you.
You guys are always asking for more content. And so, I present to you another podcast, episode one of Extra Dirty.

Speaker 1 You guys just listened to Hallie Batch Elder on Caller Daddy, and now she's officially launching her own podcast. I am so excited for you guys to go on this journey with Hallie.

Speaker 1 I am obsessed with her. She has the craziest stories.
She lives in New York City, and I just know it is about to be a wild ride. So, enjoy, sit back, relax, and maybe have a cocktail for this one.

Speaker 1 Listen to the first episode of Extra Dirty. Enjoy.

Speaker 1 Hi, Daddy Gang. It is your father.
I am so excited that Caller Daddy has officially joined the SiriusXM family.

Speaker 1 I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week.

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Speaker 4 Hi my little fucking freaks.

Speaker 4 We're having a little talk.

Speaker 2 Okay guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation.

Speaker 4 Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York.

Speaker 2 Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night.

Speaker 4 Welcome to my podcast. Welcome to Extra Dirty.
I'm so so fucking excited to be here with you guys. I know it's taking a minute.
I know it's taken a long minute, but guys, perfection takes time.

Speaker 4 I was going to come out with something that's like fucking shitty and like I would have to redo and like it was kind of ass, like whatever. I wanted this to be perfect for you guys.

Speaker 4 Like I was just being a woman of the people at this point, okay? This podcast is going to be so graphic, so horrendous, so dirty, so slutty. You're going to look at me so differently.

Speaker 4 Please keep your AirPods on when you're listening to this podcast. I will say, do not listen to it at church.
Do not listen to it at a classroom.

Speaker 4 Do not listen to it in front of your parents unless your dad is single. Please, for the love of God, strap in.
We're going to have a fucking fun time. I'm so happy to be here.
It's going to be epic.

Speaker 4 I like might get canceled.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 But if I do get canceled, guys, I want to be canceled for like a really hot, controversial, like athlete or maybe some like hedge fund guy that's gotten arrested.

Speaker 4 I don't know, like something interesting, but like not too deep. We'll get into that later.
But anyways, welcome to Extra Dirty.

Speaker 4 This podcast will not only be extra dirty, but probably most of the time I'll be still like living on the fumes of my night before as I have consumed like a hundred extra dirty martinis.

Speaker 4 Like they'll still be in my system as I sit here and talk to you guys. If you guys don't know me, you know, I kind of just like fell into social media.

Speaker 4 I started posting on TikTok like a year, a year and a half ago. And honestly, I was just making that platform more of like my private story.

Speaker 4 Honestly, I was like, no one's like being honest on this fucking platform. Like no one's like telling the truth or like showing any flaw at all.

Speaker 4 Everything's just like a perfect little like clean girl aesthetic image of what their life is. And that is just not what life's about.
Life is fucking rough.

Speaker 4 Anyways, all that shit was very short formatted content. And I was like, I feel like I could yap for hours about like what's going on in my mind.

Speaker 2 So here we are.

Speaker 4 Another fake blonde

Speaker 1 with a podcast.

Speaker 4 I apologize, but like here we are. Like I'm not that mad.
I feel like on TikTok, I'm so like ambiguous, like what's going on with my like love life.

Speaker 4 I'm very good about like, you know, dropping little hints there and here. Like I definitely sleep around

Speaker 4 and I make that known, but I'm never like name dropping. I'm not like a fucking weird freak.

Speaker 4 So the thing is, like with what I do and like me just talking and doing like debriefs online, like I have a lot of men being like, I want to stay as far away from this bitch as humanly possible because at fear I might talk about them online.

Speaker 4 I will, but like I'm only going to talk about you if you give me something like to talk about. Usually like these men, they like piss me off and they think they can do whatever.
Hi.

Speaker 4 Sorry, I'm here to talk about it. Why not? So what is going on in my love life right now? My most recent conquest.
I call them conquests because what else are they?

Speaker 4 I made the mistake of hooking up with this man. He was in the entertainment industry, which by the way, stays humanly far.

Speaker 4 Oh, wait. Am I in the.? Wait, I'm considered, this is the entertainment industry, right?

Speaker 4 Ah, fuck. He was in the entertainment industry and like red flag number one.
I feel like those men are just super narcissistic. Their egos are bigger than my fake tits.

Speaker 4 Like, it's just a lot of narcissism. Let's call him Old Spice.
I'm going to give a code name for the man. Let me wet my whistle before I tell this fucking story.
ASMR.

Speaker 4 Also, guys, look at my coaster. It says cock.
All right, let's talk about it. Okay, so I met this guy.
We got introduced in the middle of the summer, whatever, and he was fucking hot.

Speaker 4 Like he was sexy. And honestly, I don't regret a fucking thing because of how sexy he was.
And I am the type of girl that I see a hot guy and say we connect. I will sleep with that man that night.

Speaker 4 And I don't feel bad about that. I feel like that's pretty normal, but just no one says that.
Like that's okay. And I don't see why that's frowned upon.
I feel like that's good work ethic.

Speaker 4 Like you see your prey, go get it.

Speaker 2 Like go get it.

Speaker 4 So anyways, we met. He wouldn't sleep with me upon first meet, which is probably a green flag for him.
I'll give him that. Probably a red flag for me that I was super pissed off about it.

Speaker 4 So I never thought I'd see this man again. Anyways, I get a phone call like two days after I meet.
I never thought I would talk to this man again. And I missed two phone calls like from this man.

Speaker 4 I was like, okay, some, he must got like in a car accident. I don't know what happened.
So I go, is everything okay? Like I was in the middle of moving, whatever.

Speaker 4 And he was like, no, I just want to hear your beautiful voice. I'm like, this voice, this vocal fry, you got to be fucking kidding me.
From then on, we started talking.

Speaker 4 He would call me for like two hours every night. And I don't talk on the phone.
I'm also like a horrible fucking texter. Like, text me if you're making plans or if someone died or if a baby was made.

Speaker 4 But other than that, like, please do not bother me. So, anyways, we would talk on the phone because this man was fucking hot.
So, we would talk on the phone for two hours a night.

Speaker 4 And he would tell me all these stories. He'd be like, What's your hobbies, baby? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, hobbies? I don't have fucking hobbies.

Speaker 2 I go out, I like drink a little and then I do what I need to do to make money.

Speaker 4 And then I watch reality TV and rock in peace. But anyways, he called me up and he goes, I wrote this beautiful short story about you and you were my muse.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, what?

Speaker 4 The flying. Fuck are you talking about? But anyways, obviously I wanted to hear the story, guys.
The story was the most insane thing I've ever fucking heard of.

Speaker 4 Honestly, I hope it goes into production because

Speaker 4 what? So, this is the story you told me. He goes, so, like, this couple, they meet on a farm.
This guy works at a gun range. He teaches people.

Speaker 4 I'm just giving you guys the bullet points. He teaches people how to shoot guns, essentially, whatever they get set up.
They go on a date. And she's like, what do you do? He's like, I shoot guns.

Speaker 4 She's like, this prim and proper bitch. And she's like,

Speaker 1 oh, like, I hate guns.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm so scared of guns. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They fall in love, whatever.

Speaker 4 He goes to work and she starts like stealing the guns out of his cabinet and starts like fucking herself with the gun. And I was like, I don't understand how we got.
How am I the muse?

Speaker 4 I was like, how, how am I the muse to this fucking story? I do not understand.

Speaker 4 But anyways, this girl is stealing this man's guns, taking them out of the cabinet and using him as a big fucking massive rifle dildo.

Speaker 4 I was like, okay, continue. The end of the story is he walks back into his apartment or his ranch.
I don't know. They're on a fucking ranch.
And she's fucking herself with the fucking massive rifle.

Speaker 4 And he's like, what the fuck? And she's like, oh my God, caught off guard and accidentally pulls the trigger and blows her head off through her body out of her head. I was like, oh,

Speaker 2 he likes me. Oh my God.
I was like, what the actual fuck?

Speaker 4 It was the weirdest thing ever. But honestly, me being the person I'm demented to in the head, I was like, this might be a match made in heaven.
Anyways, he invites me. Let's call it Canada.

Speaker 2 He invites me to Canada. Okay, beautiful old Canada.

Speaker 4 I go, okay, let me just grab my fur. Let's go.
And I stay out there for like a week or so.

Speaker 4 And we eventually, like the first night, we didn't hook up, but he brought me to this weird ass three-hour cinematic movie masterpiece and then just drops me off my hotel.

Speaker 4 And I was like, I did not fly and take a kayak and a train and a bus and roller skates to get here for you to not fuck me. So now I was pissed.
Like, and I was like, what is this?

Speaker 4 Like, I feel like I was getting punked. I was waiting for production to pop out with their little cameras and be like, what the flying fuck?

Speaker 4 But no, the next day, he was like, I have to build rapport with someone before I engage in sexual activity. And I was like, okay, like, we get it.
Like, take your pants off. I don't.

Speaker 4 It was getting frustrating just because I was like, I didn't spend all this money and fly all this way.

Speaker 4 He paid for the hotel, but I didn't spend all this money and fly all this way for us to not be doing cartwheels in your bedroom.

Speaker 4 So, anyways, the second night and all the nights from there on, we ended up hooking up, and it was fucking crazy.

Speaker 4 Like, he had studio-grade bondage equipment in his drawers that looked like they had tags on him. I don't like, I don't know if he went to Home Depot and purchased all this for me.

Speaker 4 Like, oh my god, I was so flattered. But holy hell, this man had put me in a hog tie.
Do you know what a hog tie is?

Speaker 2 Production,

Speaker 4 yeah, you know what it it is? Like, it's like.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Come on.

Speaker 4 So he had me like this.

Speaker 2 It's a picture like. Oh.

Speaker 4 So it's like this, and it was like that, okay?

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Speaker 4 So he had me in a hog tie like this, and I couldn't move. And then he had this extension bar.
Like, you know, how you put like shades up or whatever? It's like a pole they put in between your legs.

Speaker 4 I don't know what this angle looks like, by the way. So he put this pole between your legs.
And if you move your legs a little more out, you can't go back in. So I dislocated my hip.

Speaker 4 I literally think I tore my ACL, but it was the craziest. I honestly, I would do it again.
Honestly, Mr. Oldspice, you can call me anytime.
You'll always have a seat at my table.

Speaker 4 But, anyways, that ended tragically for

Speaker 4 a plethora of reasons. For me, long distance, there's just like, I feel like a physical aspect of a relationship is so

Speaker 4 important.

Speaker 4 Yes, the emotional connection is also fine, but also I just don't think I have enough emotional maturity. I'm very self-aware, but like I'm very

Speaker 4 toxic and I guess like I have very low emotional IQ.

Speaker 4 So I just think long distance for me wouldn't work because I would be plotting how to pick fights with someone that's in a different time zone, like all day long, just for like my own entertainment.

Speaker 4 I don't think it was the right fit, not because he was the wrong person. I think I just have like a lot of growing to do, which you'll probably see on this podcast.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm probably going to come off as a fucking mess most of the time. I'm not going to tell you, like, this is how you should be doing things.

Speaker 4 Honestly, if anything, this is how you should not be doing things, maybe, but it's entertaining and it's the truth. Enough of that nonsense, guys.
Let's go back into the nitty-gritty.

Speaker 4 I want to get into my childhood, the origin story. People need to understand the lore, the true lore.
How did I become this product? And honestly, a lot of it goes back to childhood.

Speaker 4 A lot of people don't know this. As a child, I was super fucking chubby.
Like it was really cute, but like

Speaker 4 not.

Speaker 4 During the time period where sugar lips were really popular. I was the youngest in my grade, the last to hit puberty, like all of that stuff.

Speaker 4 So I remember like like all my friends were like so petite and skinny and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 And I was this like chunky monster, like little chunkster with a boy haircut because, you know, my mom is a really short, cute little pixie haircut. And we thought that would look really cute on me.

Speaker 4 It doesn't look really cute on a nine-year-old that's a little obese.

Speaker 4 Also, like maybe you don't get that right before you attend an all-girls Catholic school. I remember my first day, fifth grade, I walked into the school and Mr.
fucking Helm, yeah, shout out Mr.

Speaker 2 Helm.

Speaker 4 I'll always remember this. He goes, oh, where's your sister?

Speaker 4 Fuck you, Mr. Helm.
Like that stayed with me forever. I was super chubby.
So honestly, I felt like the way I was able to make friends was through like being funny.

Speaker 4 I feel like my sense of humor had to carry because my looks weren't. Like people weren't my friend because I was like this hot, cute little like thing.

Speaker 4 Wait, is that weird to say about a nine-year-old? I don't.

Speaker 4 Like I was was like not a popular girl i wasn't popular because i was like pretty i was popular because i was funny and i was kind and i was able to make friends with everyone

Speaker 4 but i remembered in eighth grade was when i first got really skinny we had a little bit of an eating issue there i got really thin and it was the first time boys recognized me it was the first time i made friends with like the cool girls in my grade So from that point on, I attributed like being super thin to having value as a person, someone that you could be friends with, which started this whole other fucking series of drama.

Speaker 4 We'll get into that on another date. But yeah, anyways, high school, I had one boyfriend.
He was at the brother. I went to an all-girls Catholic school.
Like how fucking ironic that is.

Speaker 4 I'm sitting on a podcast called Extra Dirty and I went to an all-girls Catholic school for eight years.

Speaker 4 PSA to all the parents watching, don't send your child to an all-girls Catholic school. It's like caging a wild animal and then releasing them into college.
Like I turned hoe because of that.

Speaker 4 The thing that is interesting about like the all-girls Catholic school lore is like I went to that school for eight years. I'm not even Catholic.
I don't even, I'm Protestant. I'm a CEO.

Speaker 4 I'm a Christmas Easter only type of bitch. Okay.
Like that church, like a church hates to see me coming. Like trust me on that.
Like I've literally had sex in a church parking lot.

Speaker 4 Like I am not like your typical Catholic school girl.

Speaker 4 Maybe like the kind of Catholic school girl you see in pornos, but but like I'm not your typical like prim and proper like Blair Waldorf type of bitch. Like that's just not who I am.

Speaker 4 But it was a great school. It was a private school.
I wasn't a great student. I was like probably a B average student just because I didn't give a fuck.

Speaker 4 I didn't put like my whole pussy into like academics, which is fine. Whatever happened in the Great War of 19, da-da-da.
Like I'm not using that right now as I sit on this couch.

Speaker 4 I just feel like there was no need for me to really dive into academics. I mean, it works for some people, but it just, it wasn't my my thing.
Okay. Anyways, my parents weren't very strict.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think some of you have seen my dad online. Like I post him a lot on my TikTok.
He is me personified. Like I, the apple does not fall far from that tree.
He's fucking funny.

Speaker 4 He's so unserious. And he's like.
like a little cringy, but like in a fucking funny way, which I think I am too, to be honest. And then my mom is like the complete opposite.

Speaker 4 They're in like an a rock star relationship. You have to have a rock and you have to have a star star and you both need each other for the whole machine to be well oiled.

Speaker 4 I feel like that's super important for a relationship. Like, I don't want to date someone that has a bigger ego than me.
Like, we would kill each other.

Speaker 4 I think we'd like it would be on like the Daily Mail. Like, we would kill each other.
But yeah, they weren't strict at all. My mom was more of like the emotional support.

Speaker 4 My dad is more of like the financial support. He still is.

Speaker 4 Shout out, dad, for this beautiful apartment. I love you so dearly.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Oh my God, dad.

Speaker 4 i love you you're my favorite when i think about it actually have i dated more rocks or more stars the men i've dated are fucking

Speaker 4 no offense duds and then they would like cheat on me i remember my first boyfriend he cheated on me while i was in rehab for an eating disorder so it's not like i could have break out of the cage and go like confront him about it i was dealing i was in like

Speaker 4 I was in knitting class. I don't like, I couldn't deal with his bullshit.
He was cheating on me with my like best friend's twin.

Speaker 4 And I was knitting and coloring inside the circles and like my little kumbaya group trying to heal myself. And he was out there like playing me.
I was like, after that, didn't trust any men.

Speaker 4 Even if they're a rock or they're a star, men just suck in general. I don't know.
I'm still figuring out.

Speaker 1 It's a whole thing.

Speaker 4 Going back to my parents, they are amazing. They're like my best friends.
I feel like as I've gotten older, I've appreciated

Speaker 4 spending so much time with them. Like I like look forward to hanging out with them.

Speaker 4 They're way cooler than i'll ever be but they're great people but no they were not strict honestly i think they just sent me to the all girls private catholic school so they can get me into a good college

Speaker 4 and my dad's rich so like i feel like he could afford the private school i don't i don't know guys yeah you're gonna have to ask him when he's on the podcast he always used to say 42.5 down the drain which was my tuition like per year.

Speaker 4 He'd be like 42.5 down the drain. I would say like selling dumb or like uneducated or just like, I can't believe this is the product I've made.
He'd be like 42.5 down the drain.

Speaker 2 Fuck like

Speaker 4 I've created a monster. It's his fault.
We go to Bergdorf together. Like he brings me there.
Like it's not like I'm going alone. He comes with me and he approves of every purchase.

Speaker 4 Not only does he approve of every purchase. He picks things out.
So speaking of my dad, he does commercial real estate development. He fucking absolutely crushes it.

Speaker 4 He like really wanted me to be in it just because our personality types are so similar. At one point in time when I had first moved to New York City, I had literally no idea what I wanted to do.

Speaker 4 This is before social media. I had no job and I was luckily able to get away with that for some time.
I would hostess here and there in the summer on Nantucket,

Speaker 4 but for the most part, I was not doing anything during the year. So my parents were like, you need to get a job.
Like, you like, this is like, you're 24 years old.

Speaker 4 Like, I don't know what the fuck you're doing with yourself. And also at the same time, I really wanted a new rack.
Like, I really wanted new tits.

Speaker 4 So I told my mom, I was like, mom, like, I think I need new tits they kind of look like a rock and a sock like my weight really fluctuated and like like picture a rock and a sock it's kind of like you know it's like not cute so i was like all right i need a new chest and my mom's like we'll pay for it

Speaker 2 if

Speaker 4 you get your real estate license so i was like kid in a candy shop i was like penned to paper i was like I got my real estate license within two weeks. I think it was honestly a world fucking record.

Speaker 4 I got that shit so quickly.

Speaker 4 At the same time, I was seeing this billionaire and he was, oh my God, this is, he's going to be a whole chapter of this podcast, but I'll go a little into the because he kind of goes into this story.

Speaker 4 He called me from London one morning. He was like, fucked up, 7 a.m.
there. And I was like, so head over heels over this man.
He was like 15 years older than me, like hedge fund.

Speaker 4 Daddy, it's all like he was checked all the boxes besides the fact he was like a Peter Pan man.

Speaker 4 Like this man is never going to grow up, never wants to grow up, has a lot of money, can get any fucking bitch he wants. He's also like semi-attractive.
I miss him. He was fun.

Speaker 4 All right, I'm getting distracted. So, anyways, at the same time, he also thought I needed new tits.

Speaker 4 Honestly, I think he planted the seed, which is kind of fucked up, but like he was like, I'll pay for them. He was like, Holly, like, I'll Vemo.

Speaker 4 So, him and his best rich daddy friend both Vemo'd me four grand for my tits. It was like 12 grand, but like, they both Vemo me four grand.
They think they own each tit.

Speaker 4 They named them like Francesca and Consuela. I don't know.
Like they think they own my chest, but little do they know, I pocketed that money. It was just like play New York money at that time.

Speaker 4 I pocketed that money, got my real estate license, and then my parents paid for it. So I ended up getting

Speaker 4 the fake tits and I've never sold a fucking house in my life. But I love a crown molding and I can appreciate good interior, a one bed, a one one-bath.

Speaker 4 And I know what areas of New York are the best in the city. I know where the daddies are.
I know where the rent is the highest.

Speaker 4 And that's where I typically hang out because I know they can afford nice things.

Speaker 2 You know, this thing about real estate is like location, location, location.

Speaker 4 Just like you guys right now, sitting at your little laptop or your phone or whatever, you're in the right place right now watching the right podcast.

Speaker 2 Like, look at us, we're just growing together.

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Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 1 it's the shopping season and I love to buy clothes and things and treats and gifts. And it's like, I get so giddy during this time.

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Speaker 4 Okay, now that I've told you guys that different men own each of my tits, I have a little secret to share with you guys. There's actually currently right now as we speak a man in my bed.

Speaker 4 I didn't want to like tell you that but like don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

Speaker 4 But I feel like we went so hard last night. I feel like he could use a little bit of the hair of the dog right now.
So let's get him up. I feel like cookie, come here.
Love her.

Speaker 2 Surprise.

Speaker 2 I don't know what I feel worse from the fucking dominoes or the vodka.

Speaker 4 Here, get your fucking mic.

Speaker 4 Okay, hi guys. This is Graydon Cookie Cutler.

Speaker 4 Okay, guys, I feel like most of you know who Graydon is, but if you don't, he's like my best, most funniest friend. We sleep together all the time.
He's so good in bed.

Speaker 2 This is true. We do sleep together a lot.

Speaker 4 No, yeah. And you turn on your sound machine.
It's always like super magical.

Speaker 2 We get cozy. You have a sound machine.

Speaker 4 No, I actually do, but I do have my AirPods in watching Real Housewives.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Well, this morning I woke up.
Hallie woke me up and she said I took up the bed. It was 11.

Speaker 4 Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but it was 11.45.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, but that's my morning. Hallie told me that I was taking up the whole entire bed, but this morning I woke up and her head was on my shoulder.

Speaker 4 And he hates physical touch. You don't like when I cuddle or hug you or anything.

Speaker 2 I don't like that because you have a vagine.

Speaker 2 Okay. If you were a man, I wouldn't mind.

Speaker 4 I can't picture you like cuddled up with someone. Like, I can't picture you like being the big spoon.
Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Speaker 2 I just think anatomically I have to be the big spoon. One time, I was cuddling with somebody, and I fell asleep, and I woke up, and they were just gone.

Speaker 2 And I'll be honest with you, I really haven't cuddled since.

Speaker 4 So, have you ever fucked a woman, or are you like a gold star?

Speaker 2 Do you know what a gold star is?

Speaker 4 It's like they had a c-section, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, a gold star is when you have a c-section.

Speaker 4 It's like you can't, you did not even like come out of a vagina. Not only did you not sleep with a woman, you didn't even come out of a woman.
You came out of of the game.

Speaker 2 That's actually a good point.

Speaker 4 Not me teaching you about being gay again.

Speaker 2 Well, that's not like actually gold star, but like that like could be a thing. That's platinum star.
Like never touched a vag.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm a gold star. Yeah.
Your mom had a C-section?

Speaker 2 No, Hallie, that's not actually what a gold star is. A gold star is when you're gay and you've never been with a girl.

Speaker 4 So you're not a gold star because

Speaker 2 I'm a gold star. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm a gold star. Loud and proud.

Speaker 4 So like, let's get back to like our origin story. I feel like a lot of people don't know like how we became friends, how we met.

Speaker 2 We should tell them the story of how we actually met. Okay, let's tell it.
You would remember more than me probably.

Speaker 4 Are you really counting on me for memories?

Speaker 2 So I walk into this party on Nantucket, obviously shit face. This was like my first time actually going to Nantucket.
The year I believe was like 2021,

Speaker 2 right after COVID. So this is my first like taste of Nantucket kind of.

Speaker 2 And I see this girl and she's like snatched. She's like, her skin's pulled back.
I'm like, did she get?

Speaker 2 I'm like, did she get a facelift? Like, what's going on? And I was like, your skin is so amazing. Like, what do you do?

Speaker 2 And you told me you like get your Botox at this girl in New York, but like you live in Boston. So at the time you were living in Boston and you would go to New York to get your face done.

Speaker 2 I remember this. Flash forward, I didn't know this bitch lived in, was from Boston.
I didn't know she had a house in Nantucket. So I thought I was never going to see you again.

Speaker 2 And then we were in Boston. on a cold rainy ass night just set the mood set the tone we're on this yacht that's where hallie and I really rekindled.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh my God, you like are from Boston. Like you're here.
Oh my God, let's hang out. So that's how we started hanging out.
And then I look over

Speaker 2 and there's this man and he was like a tech CEO, founder. I think he is in person now.

Speaker 2 I worked for him for a little bit.

Speaker 4 Like when I was like, didn't have a job trying to figure out what I was doing. He was like a crypto baddie.
Like he like promised me all these things.

Speaker 4 He used to put me up with the Nomo Soho and like work on his like computer for like this new app he was creating.

Speaker 2 No events, but like that's all he could afford if he's in crypto is the Nomo Soho.

Speaker 1 No, that was a red flag. You read it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he had like a

Speaker 2 Nomo Soho.

Speaker 4 And he had this really good friend who was bald that was like working on his crypto. This is like such a side note.
I went on the state with this man.

Speaker 4 He was like bald and like it was the sketchiest thing I've ever done. He promised me like $10,000 in like fiscal cash.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 4 And he said he would only give it to me if I sucked him.

Speaker 4 Fucked him. Didn't suck him.
I didn't fuck him. He was bald.
So he looked like Mr. Clean.
So he shows up to this date with a suitcase of 10 grand in cash and gave it to me. Did you keep it?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 What'd you have to do? And I told him I had a UTI and I couldn't hang out with him for the rest of the week.

Speaker 2 He left.

Speaker 4 That made me sound like kind of an escort. It wasn't like that.
I didn't even kiss him.

Speaker 2 Honestly, I feel like he got bamboozled that night. Anyway, I hope he's well, but I looked over my shoulder and his pants were down to his ankles and his whole entire asshole was out.

Speaker 4 Nelly's cheeks spread.

Speaker 2 Cheeks spread, blackout drunk. And I was like, is somebody going to put this guy's pants on? I can't be looking at this.

Speaker 4 We had people seasick. The waves were tumultuous.
And this man is like ripping his asshole apart, like basically

Speaker 4 in a feudal position.

Speaker 2 Like I, like, anyway.

Speaker 4 I've seen darker parts of that man than

Speaker 2 his internal organs. I could see his throat from behind.
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 you can't see that yeah you know i think we shared that moment of seeing this man's asshole

Speaker 2 and that's when we became friends we were all right

Speaker 2 we've been through it wait speaking of men with gaping assholes when was the last time you have entered or have been entered via throat via ass via ear with a man via ear like yesterday it's been a really long drought and i feel like i'm like in the Sahara Desert, like one of those animals who like can't really access the watering hole.

Speaker 2 And it's not, I don't think it's the rain that's like blocking me from accessing water. I'm starting to think it's me.

Speaker 4 No, I think your type is bad. Your type is straight men.
So that automatically sets you up for failure.

Speaker 2 Okay, I would just like to correct, like, it's not straight men. No, it is.
It's just mask. Like, I like a more masculine man, which is totally fine, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 I mean, I definitely don't think my TikTok videos help.

Speaker 4 When was your last sexual encounter, flaying romance, a spark that lit a fire under your beautiful, plump ass?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.

Speaker 2 The last time, let's just go with the last time I got diddled or diddled somebody else. That sounds illegal.
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't remember.

Speaker 4 No, like you have to, like, I'm telling you right now how to pick a date.

Speaker 2 Over a year ago, probably, but I fucked. I've sucked.

Speaker 4 You're the sucking queen.

Speaker 2 I used to be. Not anymore.

Speaker 4 We're going out tonight again.

Speaker 2 Tonight, Hallie is having a party. I think tonight's my night where, like, I really want my eyes to cross.
Last night we were pretty drunk, but tonight I want to be even more drunk.

Speaker 4 Anyways, I feel like we could go on and on about fucking crazy stories we've been. Like, we've seen so much together.
Like, besides the darkest parts of people's assholes, I think we've seen a lot of

Speaker 2 Lauren.

Speaker 2 Wait, fucking freak of the weeks here.

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Speaker 1 It is officially the holiday season, which means back-to-back parties, hitting up the hometown bar and squeezing in every second with your favorite people.

Speaker 1 And that, my dears, calls for bringing a white claw variety pack to every party this holiday season. Yes, you already know the drill daddy gang.
My personal favorite, black cherry, duh.

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Obviously, you're going to just bring a white claw variety pack with you.

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Speaker 2 Lauren's here.

Speaker 4 Cookerach, Cook Rach.

Speaker 4 Guys, this is Lauren.

Speaker 2 Lauren's here. Guys, I'm here.

Speaker 4 We're the three best friends that anyone could have.

Speaker 2 We're the three best friends. Best friends.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 welcome to the casting coach.

Speaker 2 I feel very welcome. I know.

Speaker 2 We all talk to each other. Yeah, I know.
I don't like that. Let's all hold hands.

Speaker 2 Just let us know.

Speaker 4 No. You know, I'm.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I see how it is.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Guys, if you don't know Lauren, Lauren's the one that like makes, she's the reason I'm alive. I feel like she keeps my schedule together.
It sounds like you work for me.

Speaker 2 No, I like my production.

Speaker 4 No, she's when I call production in my TikTok, she is production. I'm calling for.
Yeah, like I wouldn't show up to anything on time. I'm not a planner.

Speaker 4 I am just a personality hire.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Fish is just good at getting shit done. She's also really good in bed.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 Wait, she shows me her sex tapes all the time. It's like watching right now.

Speaker 4 You know, when you're like on like a sports team and they like re-watch tape to like see where they like could have like done better.

Speaker 2 I'm that person.

Speaker 4 You're that pretty.

Speaker 2 Yes. Do you have any feedback?

Speaker 4 You're amazing. Recoil is insane.

Speaker 2 What happens to you when that?

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 2 We'll go into that night.

Speaker 4 But anyways, this is Lauren. Introduce yourself, my little freak of the week.

Speaker 2 I'm Lauren.

Speaker 2 I'm from New Jersey. That's like probably the most uninteresting thing about me.
Me and Hallie have been best friends

Speaker 2 for like six years now. Six years.
Yeah. Yeah.
So my

Speaker 2 college roommate was Hallie's best friend from high school. And then we met and we fell in love.
We did. We did.
We had a week of just going out straight together every single night.

Speaker 2 We would go to bed. Sounds like you're legit, Lesbos.

Speaker 4 A week, it was like a year.

Speaker 2 Plus, last week we went accidentally ended up at a gay bar and it was like

Speaker 2 all lesbian couples around me.

Speaker 4 There was flags everywhere.

Speaker 2 We had no lesbian bar or a gay bar or

Speaker 2 there was like a lot of lesbian couples and we were just like sitting there. I think we were one of them.
Yeah. No, yeah.
We might have been one of them. We were one of them.

Speaker 2 I think people thought that we were one of them.

Speaker 4 Oh, definitely. Definitely.
People thought I was chowing down on you,

Speaker 4 the lawn, putting from the rough, the whole nine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Munching muffin.

Speaker 4 Anyways, we've known each other for how many years?

Speaker 2 Like six years now. You've never seen me in a relationship.
I haven't, but I've seen you in multiple situationships.

Speaker 4 I think that's always crazy that you've never seen me committed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and you've only seen me committed.

Speaker 4 I was committed to them.

Speaker 2 They weren't committed to you. They weren't committed to you.
No. No.
You thought they were. I thought.

Speaker 2 And I was always trying to like tell I was like they're not hot even though some of them were I was like they're not hot Hallie like like you could do so much better and now looking back we're like fucking

Speaker 2 the cross was hot. The cross was really hot.
But I was trying I'm I was very convincing. I was like he's not hot.
Trust me. He's the hottest guy I've ever talked with ever my whole entire life.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So you have a boyfriend.
We love him.

Speaker 2 We love him. Actually, you didn't like him at first though.
I did sure. I didn't like that I had he hit on Hallie in front of me.
No, he didn't. Yes, he did.

Speaker 2 He had a deal on Snapchat in front of me when he didn't like me. No.

Speaker 2 Yeah. To do itself? No, no, no.
Here's what happened. Here's what happened.
My boyfriend now at the time like didn't want anything to do with me.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 yeah. And like in order to like show me how he didn't want to have anything to do with me, he was like, I'm just going to like flirt in front of her.
I'm going to like add her best friend on Snapchat.

Speaker 2 And like would like put his phone down so I could see everything. This is when he was like mean.
And then the second didn't have a fuck boy phase, right? Did he get a fucking toxic?

Speaker 2 No, he's like perfect. But like for those, he's an angel.
But like he wasn't an angel until the second that he asked me to be his girlfriend. Up until then, I was a doormat.

Speaker 4 And like the Holland Tunnel.

Speaker 2 Did you like being Dormat or did you like...

Speaker 2 And you were so big.

Speaker 2 You were so big.

Speaker 4 Lauren used to like show up at my house in Nantucket and like be wearing like AF1s and like Jordans.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I wore like Jordans with like Nike mid calves to the beach.
No.

Speaker 2 To go. Deor George.
No, that was

Speaker 2 fake Dior Jordan.

Speaker 2 their fake yeah they were like custom made like they just like took oh with the fabric yeah oh yeah that is okay extremely ghetto and you wore leather pants to the beach but here we are they were real leather then you met jordan you guys fell in love so deeply he also has a massive piece

Speaker 2 Who?

Speaker 4 Jordan's like a walking tripod, you know, like that thing that's holding up this camera right now. That looks like Jordan.
He has a third leg.

Speaker 4 That man, if like a gust of wind ever hit him from behind, he would be standing up still.

Speaker 2 I love that frame.

Speaker 2 And I love that. He deserves that, honestly.
He does deserve that. He deserves a big dick.
He has like short arms, but he's making up for it. Sounds like a T-rat.

Speaker 2 He has short legs, but a big dick. Short legs.
Yeah, he's like Tyrannosaurus. I also think he lifts so much that his arms progressively get higher.
Oh, what?

Speaker 2 Totally.

Speaker 2 He does have short biceps. Yeah.
He's got a really long.

Speaker 4 We're not body shaming Jordan in episode one.

Speaker 2 We love Jordan. We're complimenting.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're We're going to tell him about this later.

Speaker 4 The thing is that's nice about me and Lauren is like we have very different tastes in men. I think we all have very different tastes in men, honestly.

Speaker 2 Like, especially me and Jordan.

Speaker 4 Actually, I feel like you guys have the same taste in men.

Speaker 1 I feel like you would go for someone like Jordan.

Speaker 2 Like a pretty boy. No, no, you would go for Jordan.
I would go for Jordan. I'll go for Jordan right now.

Speaker 2 Tell him to come over. Jordan.
Jordan loves Jordan.

Speaker 2 Jordan loves Jordan. You and Jordan have a very special relationship.
Yeah, we do. Anyway, enough about him.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So we're going out tonight.
What is the pregame going to look like, you think? I'm like terrified at the fact that we have to get ready in like an hour and a half.

Speaker 2 Should we tell them what the pregames usually look like? Yeah, let's tell them. Okay, let's run through it.
Well, I don't really drink that much. Which is amazing for us.

Speaker 2 Yes, because I'm always driving

Speaker 2 if we're in Nantucket or I'm always, you know. directing.

Speaker 4 I used to hate it. I feel like when you're younger, you're like, you're not taking shots.

Speaker 2 And now we're like, don't take a shot. I feel like you should.

Speaker 4 I take this shot because I don't want to uber on Nantucket and she is the DD she is trusted by my parents that's

Speaker 2 the vehicle that is she's on the car insurance like

Speaker 4 you should be other than some other siblings

Speaker 2 Fish is the type of person where she can go out and like have like you'll have like one drink yeah but like you don't need to be like shit faced to have fun like you always have fun I'm there for the music I'm there for the networking used to go out to network yeah Hallie would drink for us and I would network for us and honestly it worked it worked about pretty well for us here we are here we are but yeah no hallie's pro and graydon are probably ripping shots together i am looking on in amazement

Speaker 4 is crazy i am looking on in amazement i'm like wow i would die i would be in the hospital sounds like shade you're throwing no but anyways we might die but in a positive way in a way that like we'll go out with a bang um hopefully but the the pregame, what are we having people over tonight?

Speaker 4 And then I'm throwing a party later in the evening and the wee hours of the night. I will be so cross-eyed.
I will be crossing both streets at once because I'm going to be like,

Speaker 2 People used to like, or I don't know if people do still think this, but like, some people think it's a bit like you're from cross-eyed.

Speaker 1 No, no, like you fully.

Speaker 4 I had meningitis.

Speaker 2 No, I had meningitis. I was a toddler.
I had it too. We both almost died.
But you're not cross-eyed. We do.
I almost died.

Speaker 4 But I'm not cross-eyed. I had a brain infection when I was two that affected my equilibrium.
So they used to call me Headwound Halley.

Speaker 4 I would just fall over, tip over, like just simple tasks like walking. So then I turned completely cross-eyed like this.
Production zoom in.

Speaker 4 I'm looking at both screens right now. No, literally, I would get so cross-eyed.
So at six, I got contacts, but when I drink, the muscles behind my eyes that keep them straight normally.

Speaker 4 Like even right now, I'm like, give out teetering. If I'm tired or a little tipsy, my eyes will just give out strength and I'll just go like this.

Speaker 2 So that's when Lauren knows that it's time to take to close the tap. And you know what's great? And I think I've said this before, but when someone looks at us, I'm like, they're like, you're leaving.

Speaker 2 You're leaving so early. I'm like, look at her.
And Holly's like, that's what you do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is so.

Speaker 2 You just like nod your head. You're like, yep, look.
Look over here. Look at her eyes.
They're like, oh, of course. Take her home.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's how you get out of going. Like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at her. They're like, we totally understand.
Like, take your time getting out. I hope you're going to home safe.

Speaker 2 Make sure you get her home safe.

Speaker 2 You're screaming. And honestly, Holly, I think we should start using that moving forward.
Like, if we're just not having good times, yeah. You're so

Speaker 2 beautiful.

Speaker 2 You just go home. You're just fully sober.
I'm like, look at her.

Speaker 2 That's so real.

Speaker 2 We should do that. Yeah, I think that's our new cop out.
Because I hate, like, I hate being like pressured to stay. It's a good cop out, but it's like, loop me in.
Yeah, I got you. Next time.

Speaker 2 But like, sometimes like you're just out of it. I can't loop you in.
You're, you're looped out. I'm never that out of it.

Speaker 2 Don't drink.

Speaker 2 Stay in school. I really don't want to go out tonight.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to lie, guys.

Speaker 2 It's your party.

Speaker 2 Literally hosted by you. You're on the invite.
You are hosting the party. You have to go.

Speaker 2 Honestly, well, what's fun is Hallie's hosting a pre-game. And I think what's so great.

Speaker 2 Is your glassware? Are you going to let other people use it?

Speaker 4 No, not.

Speaker 2 Can I use it?

Speaker 4 Yeah, you can use it.

Speaker 2 You're not a drunk like the rest of the people coming over. Also, though, like, I love that all our friends have meshed.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's so

Speaker 2 important.

Speaker 2 Well, us, but also, like, your home friends, my school friends.

Speaker 4 I don't have really, I feel like besides you guys, I don't really have that many more friends. Real friends that would consider like, oh, like, I could trust them with

Speaker 2 your

Speaker 2 dirtiest darkest secret.

Speaker 4 I mean, I'm telling everyone else here my dirtiest, darkest secrets, but. Yeah, things that would probably get me in like in trouble with the police.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Those things, I feel like I wouldn't try to help them get away with anything.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Like, would you bury your body for me? Yeah, great.

Speaker 2 And what's our relationship?

Speaker 4 Yeah. So, how does the dynamic work here? You're probably wondering because I'm so perfect.
And, like, they're like, oh my God, Holly, you're so perfect. Like, how can we share time?

Speaker 4 I have to split up between the both of them. It's like, I'm divorced parents, like the product of how do you guys get along? How do you co-parent this beast?

Speaker 2 So I'm a Cancer Leo cusp, and I can't really tell you what the whole thing is. Wait, I can't wait.
I'm a Leo Cancer cusp. She's a

Speaker 2 what? Leo Cancer Cusp? Yeah. Wait, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Cancer Leo cusp. Yeah, yeah.
I'm a cancer.

Speaker 2 We're the same. You're July 22nd.
Yeah. I'm July 23rd.
Oh, yeah. I'm the first day of Leva.
So we have the same

Speaker 2 significant. We have the same cusp, but different

Speaker 2 fire sign. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Like main sign. We need to get our charts right or something.
But Fish and I just have a really sensitive, like loving connection. We do.

Speaker 2 You know, although she's way more sensitive than me. I'm sensitive, and I'm thinking,

Speaker 2 you would start crying i'm like you will like have my back yeah yeah sometimes howie goes for her throat no well sometimes i get very angry sometimes howie gets like at the end of the night she'll be really drunk and she'll sometimes jump on the neck and like not in a mean way i'm just very sensitive like i take everything so seriously like it's really hard to argue with you Yeah, because you will cry.

Speaker 2 I will cry.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, that's it. Like, she never wants to see me again.
Like, that's it. Our friendship is over.
Like, all over because she was like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. Like, what have she said to me before? She's like, who?

Speaker 2 I'm like thinking about a time where like I took it so personally.

Speaker 4 Like the summer on your birthday?

Speaker 2 Like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 You were so sensitive.

Speaker 2 I was so sensitive.

Speaker 4 People that were staying at my house wanted to go to dinner with me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 They were staying at my house, but you would auction them off to my house because they couldn't stay at your boyfriend's house.

Speaker 2 No, that wasn't. Actually, we should talk about that.
No, that's the same thing. Because that was really horrible.

Speaker 2 That would happen.

Speaker 4 And you're like, you aren't coming to my thing. And I was like, wait, they're staying at my house.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no. I was just, I felt left out because normally in Nantucket, I always stay at your house.
And this is the first time that I wasn't staying at your house where like everyone was there.

Speaker 2 So I was like feeling left out.

Speaker 2 And because I was feeling left out, I just started crying at Cisco. And actually, I'm mortified.
And my boyfriend's brother likes to bring it up now. He's like, are you going to cry?

Speaker 2 Are you going to cry like you cried at Cisco? I'm glad he does.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because he should have been embarrassed. Yeah, you're being a weird little freak.

Speaker 2 I was being afraid, yeah. And I was like, and then I came home and I was like, Pally,

Speaker 2 I was like, You can come to dinner too, but like, you're like, No, and I was like,

Speaker 4 You were also staying at your boyfriend, so I was like, Are you gonna leave your boyfriend and their family and their cookout?

Speaker 2 They're about to do the thing that they're throwing for you and come to my parents' look me in the eyes. Yes, I will leave him.
That's fucking for you.

Speaker 2 Just kidding. Yeah, I'm thinking about the Hamptons trip now.

Speaker 2 Oh, the Hamptons trip, guys.

Speaker 2 That's what I was referring to.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, guys, we were at.

Speaker 2 I forgot what happened.

Speaker 4 It was a brand trip. It was like one of the first brand trips I've ever been on, but like we were sharing a room.

Speaker 2 The three of us. Lou was there too.
No. No, just us three.
No, it was just us three.

Speaker 4 We were at.

Speaker 2 Oh, she was there for another one.

Speaker 4 This one was just us three.

Speaker 2 And I was being the, like, I was being the plus one. I got there.
I opened up every single present. I got into the pajamas that were on my bed.

Speaker 2 As you should. As you should.
I stole some of Graydon's products. Like I was, I was fucking there.

Speaker 4 But like we went to Surf Lodge.

Speaker 2 A guy in your building.

Speaker 2 Wait, I ran into him today, yesterday. I run into him every single day.
His name is Chow Down.

Speaker 2 What? His name is Chow Down. What do you mean? Well, that's not.
His nickname is Chow Down. He lives in my building.

Speaker 4 I literally have the exact same schedule as him.

Speaker 2 I saw him this morning. I saw him yesterday.

Speaker 4 That's a story. We've been at Surf Lodge and I was drunk and I said, come back.

Speaker 2 And I was really cute. He's really cute.
He's really tall. And I was like, weird though.

Speaker 4 His giggles like, you. He's telling hyena.
I wasn't here this year.

Speaker 2 I think he was really nervous. You were in there.
This is the weekend prior. This is the weekend with Liv.
Yeah. Yeah.
You weren't there.

Speaker 2 And we brought him back.

Speaker 4 He went down on me in front of, yeah, in front of us.

Speaker 2 Me and Liv were like hiding in the bathroom. And we were like, okay, well, it's been like two minutes.
Maybe we should come out now. We come out.

Speaker 4 You gave me two minutes to work my masterpiece.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we, it didn't seem like you were feeling it.

Speaker 4 Because his laugh was really weird.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Yeah, and then we came out and we were like, show us what you were doing.
Okay, I received a video this night.

Speaker 2 Do we want to talk about that?

Speaker 4 That was Chow Dow.

Speaker 2 That was Chow Down. From you? No, no, that was for me.

Speaker 2 Okay. Or Live and then group shot.
It was Live or Fish sent it to me. And there's this, I see this hair underneath the sheet.
And Hallie's there.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, is she like playing with a stuffed animal? Like, why is her hair under the sheets?

Speaker 2 It was Mr. Chow Down chowing down.
Chowing down.

Speaker 2 Underneath the sheets. Giving the name.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He's a nice guy.
And then we set him on his way. It's funny because I'll get those videos and I will not think one thing of it.
Sleep over.

Speaker 4 Break our you have to go home.

Speaker 2 Bye. We like literally, the way that we like hurried that man out of the room, like he hadn't even have time to put his shoes on.
He was like, by the time he was outside.

Speaker 4 He was weird, though. He was a weird little freak.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But anyway, I live in the same building as him and I see him every single day.
And I'm like, hey. And he's like, hey, how you doing? And then,

Speaker 2 you know, we talk about something for like the 30 seconds of the elevator ride, the minute to the fucking outdoors.

Speaker 2 Yeah, every day. That's the worst.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Poor man, Mr.
Chowdown. Okay, like we need to wrap this up.
We have to get ready with the shower. We have to bathe.
I'm sure Grayden has to take a nap. I need to take a couple shots.

Speaker 4 I think before we go, guys, we should give a little like real housewives tag ride. Like, what would like, you know, jhouzh up the ending of this?

Speaker 2 Okay. Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 You can start and then Lauren and then I have to to think of mine because, okay, I love this.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's run it back. This is your moment to shine.

Speaker 2 If you won't suck my kwaki, at least drink one.

Speaker 2 Period.

Speaker 2 You like that? Suck your kwaki.

Speaker 2 That was good. All right, Lauren, you go.
All right, where am I looking? I may not drink, but I eat every day.

Speaker 4 Period.

Speaker 2 Guys, I'm screaming. I do eat every day.
No, you do. Yeah.
Used to be.

Speaker 2 It was thick. I see.
More than once a day. I don't even know what mine would be you like

Speaker 4 you miss a hundred percent of the come shots you don't take

Speaker 2 period period

Speaker 2 all right guys cheer like hey

Speaker 4 all right all right so like let's wrap it up guys um we have to get ready with go take shots this has been so much fun i'm so excited for everyone to be here even if like you're just here to like make fun of me if i'm crazy i don't care we're gonna have so much fun this was amazing you're gonna see a lot more of this situation going on on.

Speaker 4 It's gonna be a lot of chaos, a lot of unhinged raw energy. We're gonna raw dog this whole thing.
Subscribe, like, review, give us five stars, all that fucking shit.

Speaker 4 You can find us on all platforms, wherever you watch your podcast, YouTube, whatever, whatever floats your fucking boat. Anyways, happy to be here.
Love you all, and thank you.

Speaker 4 Episode one, let's do it.

Speaker 2 Bye. Bye.

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