Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards

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Don't drug the team.

Don't drug the team.

Don't drug the team.

I'm ungrateful. Don't drug the team.
Don't drug the team. Don't drug the team.
Don't. Grateful wench.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're like moaning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, yeah, yeah. Get back in your routine.
How did that look? Better or worse? Better. Better? That looks amazing.
Cheers. Just let God go with you.
But like, what can I not say? You can say anything you want. Can I talk about...
Put the microphone in front of your face. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, yeah. Hey, tonight's about to get weird.
Okay, cheers. Let's do a quick little prayer.
Let's do a quick little seance. our father who art in Color Daddy

Halle

Halle Let's do a quick little seance. Our father who art in color daddy, Hallowed be thy cunt.
Hallowed be thy saying a lot of bad shit tonight. Thy kingdom come.
I will make him come. And I will not sound dumb.
Amen. That's not a prayer.
No, yeah. That's my new religion.

Do you think any of your exes will be watching tonight?

Hopefully, if they have a phone.

Those poor brokies.

Those little weird freaks.

Do you go for broke men?

Sometimes.

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You're welcome. Hallie Batchelder, welcome to Call Her Daddy.
you may be wondering why we're dressed like this, Daddy Gang.

I don't know.

No, we're like back.

We're like, we're in New York right now.

You're back to your roots.

Oh, my God.

Oh, imagine if we knew each other when I was in New York.

No, you would be dead.

No.

You wouldn't be alive.

I wouldn't have my career.

Yeah, I'd be at your funeral and you wouldn't have your career or your husband I would definitely not have my husband you would definitely not have

your husband we also imagine if we knew each other when we lived in Boston no I wouldn't have been a

bottle girl I would have just become friends with your dad much if I had fucked your dad

that's not funny isn't he happily married no he's happily married but like imagine if Alex Cooper

was my mom and I was like Alex what's for dinner she's like i just signed 125 million dollar deal let me just preface this with anybody that's driving um in the car on the way to work because they could be on their way to work they could be nursing their child right now hopefully not they could be doing something wholesome it is about seven o'clock at night in los angeles california it's so hot

no it's so hot we got to take this shit off this hood we are sweating and we're drinking martinis and i'm sitting across from hallie now i discovered hallie on tiktok one day and i said i'd like that bitch uh i would like to be friends with that bitch and then i ended up starting a company and i was like oh i can be friends with her and i can work with her which is pretty cool yeah and Hallie is going to be launching her podcast tomorrow extra dirty episode one comes out so cheers you fucking did it bitch yeah should we take this shit off yeah maybe not the sunglasses but at least this no I'm overheating and then let's re-comb your hair I look like George Washington the third last time I saw you was in oh Los Angeles yes and Matt and I were putting you to bed Yes, that Washington the third. Last time I saw you was in, oh, Los Angeles.

Yes.

And Matt and I were putting you to bed.

Yes.

That was the scariest thing ever because I was crossfaded on that fucking PJ back.

Talk about that experience.

No.

They were like, yay, yay.

I don't know.

Like, Wiz was playing like his music and I was like, okay.

Like, and you were like, yeah.

And he was like, wait, have the whiskey and smoke the blunt.

I like don't smoke weed at all.

So when I hit it, I was like so paranoid.

I'm going with my like boss this girl that just signed me to the company and like I was just I I don't smoke at all like I'm not a smoker I don't smoke weed I don't like downers like that like uppers so I was like a little confused what was going on I was trying to play it fucking cool and I was supposed to go from landing from the PJ and I was like my plan was to uber to LAX and I'm like what time is your flight I've never heard of a flight taking off at like a steady 230 and Hallie's like oh I don't have a flight I'm gonna get one though and she is blazed out of her mind not making eye contact with anyone still and she has glasses glasses on and she's like, no, I'm going to catch a flight. To which Matt says, excuse me, you're not going to LAX.
You're coming home with us. I was like, gay.
I mean, the thing is, I woke up in your guest bed on top of the covers. I didn't even take my clothes off, didn't even tuck in.
You had gave me a whole house tour that I don't even recall. I woke up and there was like a desktop right in front of me.
I clicked the name and it goes Alex Cooper desktop. And I go, fuck, no, not today.
And it was like noon and I could hear you guys downstairs making coffee. And I was like calling like Lauren.
I was calling all my friends being like, I don't know if I can go downstairs. This is terrible.
This is like a like this is a nightmare. No, that was fun.
No, that was fun. How would you describe your personality when you're drunk? Aside from the wandering eye.
Creep. Fucking bitch.
I feel like either I go mute like you don't know if I'm like drunk or not or i'm just like completely an extra version of my extra self i don't want to cause a scene i'm not like confrontational at all some people when they get drunk they're like mean and rude and confrontational maybe i'm very chill i'm also like very like a respectful human being i feel like i'm just like down with like the vibes I'm just trying to like I don't want to cause a scene are you someone that is going to drunk text people are you drunk texter yeah oh yeah I mean like who's not like I don't know like grow up wait but I like have had a couple like drunk tech situations where i'm just like

some there's me there needs to be a child lock on my phone yeah yeah you know once i send this nude to this guy and it was a video it was like a cinematic masterpiece and i was using like a bright pink fuchsia dildo and i was absolutely plastering myself with it what are you in your bed yeah my twin bed on nantucket no yes you're doing this and i sent it to the wrong guy his name started with m the other guy's name started m but the guy i sent it to was like this guy named matt from like sleepaway camp when i was 14 and i was like he had a blessed day that day i don't fucking care did you realize that when you were fucked up? Or did you realize in the morning? In the morning, he thumbs up that. He didn't even reply.
He must have known this ain't for me. He was like, yeah.
In that moment, question. Do you then decide cinematic masterpiece? Should I actually now fire this off to the right person? It's too late.
It was too late late the person i wanted to even fire it off to i think didn't deserve it i think this random guy from sleepaway camp deserved it more at this point but my drunk texts weren't even like where you at they were just like uh like very well composed like sex with like an intro three supporting arguments and like a closing statement I'd be like this is a cinematic map I'd be like I wouldn't even regret that I'm gonna die on this hill someone publish this shit how the fuck are you like writing that shit when you're fucked up AI chat GBT give it to me right now one two three holly i fucking love you um okay where did you come from like i feel like you crawled out of a hole like were your parents strict with you growing up like what was what was going on i mean they were um they weren't strict at all okay i feel like they had expectations like you to get good grades make your bed don't get pregnant although I did once but like don't get pregnant okay so my parents can be strict sometimes oh okay like when I would throw parties in college there was one time I threw a party in college and I had all my friends over it was like for my friend's birthday and like one of her girlfriends like threw up all over my parents carpet the cops had came so everyone was like hiding in a room they went up to like the fourth floor I live in like a brownstone in Boston they went to the fourth floor into my parents room this girl threw up all over like my parents like a hundred thousand dollar It was horrid. It was a fucking crime scene.
Okay. So they found out.
I've never seen my dad so mad at me. I thought I was cut off for good.
I thought I was cut off for good, so I signed up for seeking arrangements. No.
I was being the most. I was so extra.
I was like seeking arrangements near me.

I'm done.

There's no way.

Holly.

I never went on a date, but I signed up.

You know, I got chlamydia once.

Let's talk about chlamydia.

Wait, twice.

Oh.

Sorry.

Tell me about your time.

I mean, I got chlamydia once.

It was with an older gent who I loved. Really? I didn't love him.
I just loved how rich he was. I don't know.
He was so rich. Like, we'd go to, like, a bar, and he'd be like, what do you want to drink? And I'd be like, I want a spicy margarita.
And he'd be like, I'll get a spicy margarita, too. And then he'd be like, how much should I tip? A thou? Should I tip a thou? He, like, abbreviated a thou, and I was like, tip a thou.
Yay, yay, yay. and then he'd be like, how much should I tip a thou? Should I tip a thou? He like abbreviated a thou.

And I was like, tip a thou.

Yay, yay, yay.

And then he invited me to the Bahamas.

And his friend had a private island.

And it was just all the things.

His name was Epstein.

No.

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm sorry.

This is going, this is getting weird.

His name was Diddy.

No.

No, stop.

No, but he would like fly.

How old was this man?

He was this man he wasn't that old he was like 38 how old were you at the time 23 okay that's good that's good he was weathered though he looked stressed out he looked like a leather couch like he looked like he was stressed out at work. Like.
What was he up to? What did he do for work? He was a hedge fund owner. Owner? Wait, that's hot.
Wait, owner? Is that a thing? CEO. How did you meet him? Nantucket.
That's. And he didn't have children or kids? He could have.
That you know of. Could have.
He got me pregnant. He got you pregnant? Yes, that was the same guy.
In ch chlamydia but i thought the chlamydia pill was postponing my period so it was like double homicide pow pow what can i not say that you know what i think you fucking should say that because in the state of the motherfucking union of our country you had a right and thank god i was able to have an abortion back then honestly i don't i can't even imagine if it wasn't an option to me so imagine you as a mother right now like right here i'm like hi father cooper i'm doing an interview i fake tits can i even breastfeed wait oh can you i think so it's under the muscle i continue yeah okay you know you that's what i remember you drunkenly in the back of the car with matt and i on our way back you're like guys i have something i really want to talk to you about and i'm like oh we're gonna talk about extra dirty whatever you're like i kind of want to go bigger i stand by this you want to go bigger yeah bigger your tits well they're all right 295 cc high profile and everyone thinks they're? Well, they're, all right, 295cc high profile.

And everyone thinks they're real.

Everyone thinks they're real.

No, like when, like, oh my God.

Like, everyone thinks they're real.

They don't like fake.

Because the tits I had before, I gained a lot of weight, then lost a lot of weight,

and then gained a lot of weight.

So it kind of looked like a rock and a sock.

Like, picture a rock and a sock.

You know, you're swinging a rock and a sock.

It's like a weapon, okay? So, like, I i filled that up and i went conservative with the ccs but they don't look fake enough if i'm going under the knife pop it up make them look fake you want to go bigger they bounce still like fuck that you don't want them to bounce not really you want them to just be i want to be sat and listening to me wait you went to catholic school yeah it's shocking that's literally makes so much sense i went to catholic school also so i can say that oh yeah just a lot of repression and it's like caging a wild animal and setting them free into college from fifth through twelfth grade i never had class with a male i'd slept with the one guy and I'd done like one line of Adderall and I was like I'm a freak I'm so crazy and then I got to college I was like wait dick it was insane so high school you were pretty tame so tame what was your first boyfriend he was like this very, went to the brother's school, all boys Catholic school,

was like captain of the hockey team.

Very nice guy.

Very religious.

Massive dick.

Wait.

I know.

I miss him.

No, I'm kidding.

Where is he now, you think?

He has a girlfriend.

Oh.

He's like 5'7".

Aren't you 5'8"? Yeah. In grass.
Five foot. But the big dick.
He was a tripod, Alex. A walking tripod.
If the wind gusted him right over, he wouldn't be standing right up. But that is your first experience.
It's a little intimidating, no? intimidating though well intimidating for everyone else like after him it was like what is this what did i sign up for why did we break up it's like upsetting the second guy i got with after my ex had a micro penis literally my pinky what did you do when you saw it it wasn't a seeing it thing it was like is it in yet is it in yet i had no idea it was like this bit i swear to god you've actually tried to have sex with a micro penis i i did have sex with the micro penis what position worked the best none of them we were i was on a bean bag in my friend's like common room in college so disgusting wait okay can we talk about karate yeah kumbaya the karate kid is here today guys it's a fun fact that i am a brown belt in karate i did it for nine years i wasn't like an athlete you weren't gonna see me in soccer or hockey or don't know what what other sports track no like none of them i my parents like you should do karate and like that's a sport you put your kids into when you're like three and i was out popping my fucking pussy until i was probably 17. hold on i'm a brown belt did you get like bullied for this yes so i for a period i stopped and then i accidentally before a sweet 16 got alcohol poisoning because i was 14 i'm youngest my grade so it's like before i sweet 16 i like drink too much and my parents like you're grounded for nine months and you have to do karate and i was like all right like fuck and i'm like 14 like guys are just starting to notice me and i have to go back and put my gi on i'm like a brown bell and i'm like i'm like cool yeah and like i'm like guys aren't gonna fuck with this it's true give me like a hand move what would you do you'd bow first be respectful you can't i can't really get into the grooves it's that i used to like do the job i used to judge um younger karate students what i was that good i was so good at karate do you use any of those moves in the bedroom probably i'm violent in the bedroom a man hates to see me coming Hallie can we talk about your dad yeah let's talk about the finances let's talk about the um are you still using your dad's credit card to this day I mean yeah I mean it's actually a sensitive topic today I got a text this morning being like, in the group chat, my dad goes,

I just canceled the JetBlue card.

Good luck, love you.

To my family group chat, I go,

wait, what the absolute fuck?

He goes, I don't use it anymore.

I'm like, but I do.

What do you mean?

What is the JetBlue card?

Like his card, we all have an Apple Pay.

But it's like Monopoly. It's like, bang, bang.

It's like, oh, bang. We're at dinner, at dinner bang you know i could fly around the world 17 times yeah so you got cut up on the jet blue no yeah we're done the black card we're so back the black card hates see me coming it's nice that he's not a sugar daddy like this is your actual dad yeah it's the sugar daddy minus the sugar Do you think he'll ever cut you off? Um no because like he really Wants us to be safe He's big on safety like the Reason why he would never like disclose His credit card number for the black card He does not let us Do subway transportation Or Uber X.
Like it's over.

I'm not kidding.

Like he like doesn't feel safe with that.

He also doesn't feel safe with us having a bad haircut.

Or bad hair.

Or like bad clothing.

He doesn't feel safe, Alex.

He protects our safety.

I can't.

I literally can't handle you.

Okay, so it's all about safety.

Yeah.

A new bag, safety.

Yeah.

New hair, safety.

But also like...

But also like nice interior design makes me feel safe the cb2 safety william sonoma safety revolve revolve makes me feel safety so let me get this right do you have a like uh you can't spend more than this in a month or no i'm not disrespectful okay i don't abuse it it's not like i'm going to bergdorf and like popping my absolute pussy at bergdorf while he's not there yeah but when i'm there we're popping our fucking pussy at bergdorf if you ever go too hard what is like a reprimand from your father look it's an email what it's an email where it says purchase activity not detected or like purchase activity i wasn't there and he sends a question mark and we just usually don't reply stop i'm like trash spam i'm like who is this um okay let's talk about your dating life Call Her Daddy is brought to you by BetterHelp. Daddy gang, I have talked to you about how therapy has been such a great investment, a big investment, but a great investment.
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That is Shopify.com slash daddy. Okay, let's talk about your dating life.
Do you have an age limit? Um, diapers. No,ie Is that bad to say? What's funny is I was thinking like 85, 65 Yeah, diapers Oh, you're talking about old man Yeah, an old man with diapers Hospice Diapers Wait, what? You thought I was talking about younger? And that's a problem we had to talk about that after okay that was weird for me um can you tell me what is the oldest you've gone on a date with date or fact i don't know um the oldest guy i slept with i don't date a lot okay right sorry no dates just um but the oldest guy i've slept with is probably 52 okay how was that good for him i sucked him sideways in fruition he saw sunset was he single i think have you ever had sex with a man and then realized he was married afterwards yes how do you handle that i that? I mean, that's not my problem.
If you are hooking up with me and you're in a relationship and you don't disclose it, I don't see how that's my issue. It's not your issue.
What is the most expensive thing a man has ever bought you aside from your father? That's a good question, actually. I mean, these guys, this man thought he bought my tits.

What?

This is actually a really good story.

Share with the class.

So this is the guy I was seeing at the time.

He was in London.

I remember FaceTiming him.

He was horrible to me.

He'd be like, I'm getting with this influencer and that influencer.

I'd be like, okay.

But I'm like, I'm so cool with that, whatever.

And I would be like, I think I want new tits. And he he was like I think I agree with that like he was horrible to me and then he goes he's like it's 6am in London I'm so fucked up I've stayed up all night like I'm gonna vemo you 10 grand for your tits so him and his best friend vemo me for each tit.
So each think they own one tit. But then.
Wait, they Venmo'd you? Yeah, they Venmo'd me on the spot. Him and his friend? Yeah.
But then my mom was like, wait, if you really want me to pay for the surgery, just get your real estate license and I'll pay for it. So I was like MacGyver on the fucking keyboards.
I studied so hard. I got my real estate license and i'll pay for it so like macgyver on the fucking keyboards i studied so hard i got my real estate license and like within like a week and a half i swear to god and these fucking dumb ass billionaires i pocketed their money so quick so you had you fucking later you had 10k for your tits from them yeah my parents just paid for them I never sold a house ever either I fucking love that for you no have you ever signed an NDA yeah oh have you like what Tuesday for like a um I know you can't talk about it, but not for, like, business shit.

I've never signed an NDA.

I don't know.

Shake said yes.

Yeah, I mean, I've signed a couple.

But, like, for, like, guys I don't even think deserve them.

Like, YouTube guys.

I'm like, be so fucking for real right now.

You signed an NDA for me, babe.

No.

Have you fucked someone that does YouTube?

Multiple.

I should have my own channel. No.
Wait. but you've never fucked david dobrik have you i'm taking out my sunglasses for this you okay are you my eyes are like where am i okay wait my eyes are like where am i well yeah where am i okay you thought i fucked david no no i'm out of

here can we keep that in what is the weirdest thing that someone has asked you to do in bed you know what is the weirdest thing i probably the weirdest thing a guy's anything ass related this one guy got on all fours and he was arching his back and i was eating his ass out I didn't love that for me

he loved that for him

awesome and he was arching his back and I was eating his ass out. I didn't love that for me.
You love that for him. Also, there was this one guy that had the extension bar.
I told you about this. No, this fucked me up.
Talk about it. Go.
No, I'm not. This is hog tie was fucking fucking light work the hog tie was not even the part i just part of the story i didn't even explain this guy had an extension bar and he had shit like i hope you can see this right now he had like the clanks here and the clanks on each ankle and there was a bar in between my legs and if you move your legs like another inch you can't go back in so if you move your legs another inch you can't go back in so I was in like the splits for like three and a half hours and I swear to god I was on a flight back from LA like cross-eyed dislocated let me just say this Hallie and I are sitting next to each other in L.A.
having a cocktail.

Bessies.

We're whispering sweet nothings to each other.

No, like I love you.

I'm asking her just about her escapades.

And she starts talking about this machine, essentially.

It was giving Home Depot PR haul.

It's like a curtain rod between her fucking legs but there's a spring and when you said that so are you is this happening when you're getting fucked from behind no so like i was on my back in the hog that's what that's what made it crazier the hog tie was in front and i felt like a chandelier at one point yeah he put the bar over his neck at one point and then flipped me over it was like you can't move your legs I thought I pulled a hamstring Alex I thought I was needed PT after this wait what I had recently watched the uh wait what do you watch Jake Gy gyllenhaal show oh you thought i was about to say i got a video of it i was like i wouldn't be shocked no i while she was explaining this to me had watched the jake gyllenhaal show if any of you had watched it it's like presumed innocent and the girl is murdered and she's wrapped up in a hog tie so aside from a hog tie what is like a weird thing like a weird thing that would make like Hallie Batchelder be like that definitely was on the Richter scale of like weird that a man has done to me I mean nothing makes me blush but this one thing made me fear for many lives I'm not gonna lie like this man was love bombing the absolute fuck out of me in a way where i was like aware it was happening but there was one night he called me and he always would call me spend two hours on the phone talking about fucking nonsense i don't know what the fuck he's talking about i'm trying to go to bed or order uber eats i don't fuck you're saying. So he called me up and he's like, I wrote a short story about you.
And I'm like, oh my God. Like trying to be like so cutesy and like interested.
What was it about? And he's like, I wrote it about you. And like you were my muse.
And I was like, I've never been a muse before. Right, like tell me everything.
I'm like, tell me everything. Every fucking detail.
this story was basically like this random girl gets set up with this guy that works on a ranch. And they go on a first date.
It's a blind date. And he teaches people how to shoot a gun.
And she's like, I'm scared of guns. Anyways, she's like, whatever.

They continue dating.

And she keeps using the gun to like masturbate, like fuck herself with the gun.

She's like popping her pussy with the gun while he goes to work.

Okay.

And I was like, okay, this is a really good story.

So he's like, yeah, like then she uses the gun. It's like a rifle to pop her pussy out of word anyways anyways one day the end of the story was he walks in because he forgot his wallet or something and she's like using the rifle to masturbate and accidentally shoots her whole fucking head off like I go that's so sweet what I'm like we're so in love so I'm like this girl blows her brains out and I'm like we're so in love so I'm like this girl

blows her brains out

and I'm

I'm the muse

I'm like what

I'm like I've never even talked about

masturbating with this guy

but all of a sudden I am

popping my pussy with a rifle

dude isn't that fucking insane

I feel

so like he walks in and like

it's like

music sudden I am popping my pussy with a rifle dude it's not fucking insane I feel so like he walks in and like it's like he like she's like oh my god he walked it like like what here's the thing I do feel like life is about how you handle moments and I do feel like of any woman in the world for a man to share that kind of short story you are the type of person that could maybe handle it better than another woman because like some bitches would just literally start like crying on the phone being like why would you tell me this but you're like I said thank you wow And then when you got off the phone, do you like call your friends or do you just like pick back up? That one's, I mean, like I can like handle a fucking weird, weird, like dirty text or whatever, but like a weird two hour story about like how I blew my head off with a rifle via masturbating. I didn't really know how to handle.
So, yes, I called my best friends. I was like, I don't handle this one.
I better visit him, whatever. And they're like, honestly, period.
And I was like, period, purr. Let's still do it.
I still visited him and I came. Hallie.
Yeah. Hallie.
Alex. I couldn't get on that flight i'm too paranoid i think he was gonna fucking kill me i mean your podcast is gonna be fucking insane you're literally lounging like which story should i tell about him uh the hog ties i would even consider that bad sex that was good sex you enjoyed that i like that what is the worst sex you've ever had or what would you consider bad sex there was this one guy hooked up with where he had like this weird baby fetish like where he thought it was like a doll or like a baby doll and he was like oh my pretty little princess my little girl my little pretty little princess and i was like who the fuck do you think you're talking to he's like just my pretty little princess and i be talked in bed and i was like do you need to be fucking murdered because i don't know what you're talking to right now no that's the type of shit i'm not into freak a little week i'm gonna ask you some rapid fire okay who is the most famous person in your dms you know this you can't say it you want me to say it no we're here or do we want to let you like hook up with him first and then yeah i mean i don't want people i mean like there's a lot of famous people on my dm how do you handle that do you like that no well i mean they're all fucking weirdo losers.
I feel like as of growing up, I feel like I'm like, oh, it'd be so cool to, like, fuck a famous guy. And then you're like, oh, these famous people are fucking weird freaks.
Like Scott Disick? Get out of my DMs. No.
You weird fucking weird freak. Okay.
Have you ever hooked up with your friend's boyfriend yeah well like it's memorial day weekend and like she can send it i mean like she was like suck them sideways i said i'll suck them diagonal no can i tell the story yeah you tell the story but i won't tell who it is no like please tell the story because i want to tell the story so But I won't tell who it is. No, like, please tell the story because I want to tell the story so bad.
I think it's hilarious. It shows how close me and Lauren are.
She loves this story. Is she okay with it going public? Yes.
Okay. So Hallie and I are with Lauren and we're with Graydon.
And I don't know what happened, but we all started talking about sucking dick. And then all of a sudden, you guys both turned to me and you me and you had this like sadistic grin on and you're both like oh my god should we show her and I'm like show me what you're like let's show her and Lauren was like show her you go I need another drink before you show me and then you took a like a massive gulp of a drink and you go okay I'm ready and they pull up their phone and they go this is a video of Hallie sucking my boyfriend's dick and I'm filming it and I'm like hold on hold on just for context daddy gang her Lauren is my Lauren like they are best friends they do everything together and how long have Lauren and her boyfriend been together four years years.
Four years. Okay.
So they show me this video. Honestly, great work.
Great work by you. I mean, I learned from the best.
And Hallie is, I'm really good at sucking dick ass. Wait, don't.
No. What is this episode? Keep that in.
Anyways anyway so i watched this and it was a masterpiece like it wasn't even like a weird video it felt like we were all in this together kind of vibe like lauren was like moving to make sure she was getting the right angle the boyfriend was having a time you were having a time yeah i think she had a ring light but but how the fuck do you and isn't it like now like a yearly thing because she doesn't like to suck dick what is this like it's like our inside joke like she doesn't like suck dick and i was like i'm gonna do it for you and like we're all like really good friends like oh yeah she's so confident like she's too confident she's so hot she's like she's so hot How many times have you done this? Like four score, seven years ago. Multiple times.
Like three or four times. And how do these nights begin? They begin with the seed being planted.
It's like, okay, this might happen later. But usually it's always on Memorial Day weekend get on antucket like we go out we go to

crew we have a couple cocktails the champagne's flowing and then someone's dick is being sucked and if it's her boyfriend's do you leave the room after and she fucks him or what is happening so it started was i want to watch them have sex like i always was curious how lauren fucked i've never seen it before so i like wanted to watch i've never seen it before so like you often see your Best friend have sex I mean yeah

I mean like so picture this chair

In the room okay and they're like fucking on the bed and i was just kind of like sitting there with like my legs crossed like this and i was like kind of like a weird creeper you're literally like smiling like i'm like cheers i have like a notepad out i'm like all right this is it okay there you go how did you feel were you at all turned on or were you just like fascinated I was like turned on but I was like no I don't think I would three I don't think I would have a three-way with Lauren interesting but you would suck her boyfriend's dick yeah while she watches that's like not that intimate like it's not that intimate i would never like hook up with lauren interesting like i've had many three ways lauren could never be in that situation why i don't think she would want to be in that situation first of all and second of all like i think lauren has too much respect for herself to be involved in whatever situation I want to be involved with.

But she'll let you suck her boyfriend's dick.

She honestly looks at it as like me.

She's like, oh my God, like he's a good dick.

I'm sharing this with my best friend.

Oh my fucking God.

Dude, that's some confident ass bitch.

No, it's the most confidence I've ever seen.

Because she's not even like worried that you guys are going to like ever do anything behind her back. Never.
Ever. It's insane.
She's like, I want this for you. I want to share this goodness with you because you are my best friend.
That's how she looks at it. And does she also say like, and also because you're so good at sucking dick? Yeah.
And also she's like, I don't want to suck.

So you do it for me.

And I have oral fixation.

Like I used to bite my nails until I got them done.

Wait, really?

I had the vape.

Like sucking dick calms me down.

That's the promo.

That's the title.

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White Claw Seltzerzer works chicago illinois so you've had multiple threesomes many what is the weirdest threesome you've ever had the weirdest threesome i ever had thank you for asking you're welcome it was during covid cut that you can't the way that you start stories like it was memorial specificity. And I was like, this one girl was hooking up with this guy.
And I'd hooked up with three of his brothers. Like, we cut that out.
We're at a house party. And she's hooking up with this guy all day.
And I had a guy at the time. And, like, I had FaceTime sex with this guy in the bathroom.
So I was, like, popping my pussy in this bathroom. And then And then I like was done, whatever.
I came out and this couple is still hooking up. And I was like, hmm, now that I'm here, now that I'm aroused and ready to fucking go, I'm ready to fire off.
They were like, why don't you join? And I was like, okay. It was like the couch, like the living area of this like small ass Boston apartment.
Oh. And were doing blow wait can i say that yeah so they were doing blow and she was like let's let's just like it'd be funny if we like both did blow off his dick so like one of them be sucking one of me doing blow suck blow suck blow suck blow the whole rotation this girl ultimately like takes off all her clothes and And then she starts like riding this guy.
And then I sat on his face. And then we swap, swap, swap.
And there was like the human centipede situation. Reverse.
Did you enjoy that moment? Like did you actually have fun? Yeah, built character. What is the biggest lie you've ever got caught in? I't give you chlamydia i did i did though okay um what is your favorite sex position you know i would say on top it's quickest and easiest and gets them out of my apartment quickest you get those new tits it's gonna be quick you be quick.
You know, you're like, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. But I also like doggy, but guys do not like to have doggy with me because there's not much recoil going on.
It's like a negative recoil. It's like putty.
It's like Play-Doh. What? Because the tits are in the front and there's nothing in the back i thought i would

get fake tits and distract from my like lack of ass it's like putty ass have you ever been in love absolutely not what's your most controversial opinion do you think anal is pleasant if you're hooking up with someone 10 times how many times are you doing anal of those 10 times I mean, I've probably had more anal than

No, stop, we can't

Wait, you're like 10 times. How many times are you doing anal of those 10 times? I mean, I've probably had more anal than

No, stop.

We can't.

Wait, you're hitting the anal train?

I mean, I'm a good Canada.

I don't like food, so there's nothing in me.

Can you see that?

Have you ever gone back to front

and gotten a kidney infection?

Yeah.

I think I have a UTI on my LV right now. Are you able to come from anal? Depends who you ask.
Wait, what? I don't know. Who have I faked it for? Ten times of sex, how many times are you faking your orgasm? Usually not.
I'm actually really good at finishing. Do you use a vibrator? It's like my superpower.
No, I just use them as a dildo with a heartbeat. Usually it's me on top actually riding into the sunset.
And then whatever you want to do with me after is. Are you often making eye contact during sex? Yeah, it helps me.
It does. Yeah.
I couldn't tell if you'd be someone that's like, I'm not going to go deep emotionally.

It depends how ugly they are.

Honestly.

Okay, let's talk about your podcast.

Okay.

Extra Dirty.

It comes out tomorrow.

Yes.

How do you feel about it?

I'm excited.

I just feel like I want to get some unhinged shit online again.

We got to bring that back. So I'm excited to actually tell a good fucking story yeah there's no censorship there's i need no censorship i'm excited for you to talk about your life because i feel like the fact that you have garnered such an audience already and people love your debriefs and like everything about your life but you're right like it's so tiny the amount that you're able to give because of how salacious your stories are on tiktok you are giving like bite-sized information and people are loving it already and so i feel like the concept of you actually being able to sit down for like an hour at a time and give debriefs that are there is literally nothing that you can't say no one is tellingie, that's too much.
Hallie, that's not enough. Like you can say whatever the fuck you want.
It's kind of exciting. I'm very excited.
It's going to be really good. It's like a breath of fresh air.
I feel like a lot of people are so filtered just online in general. Yeah.
Even if it's like not like a salacious story, whether it's just like pointing out your flaws, I really want to get into that and just like have like a true life online experience have you ever felt like you overshared too much on the internet I overshare all the time I mean I've overshared to you yeah like you you're like okay do you ever regret it or no with you or online both uh no it's just like what makes me me I overshare and like i feel like that's a real life experience to be oversharing it sucks and you're gonna deal with like the repercussions in the morning but then fuck you get through it and honestly it builds character there is nothing i'm more excited for than your show it's gonna be so fun truly every thursday hallie bachelder coming to you live extra dirty it's

gonna fucking happen and by the time this is out daddy gang hallie show is coming out tomorrow

on thursday and we will be in new york city partying and celebrating i love you thank you

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