Demi Lovato (FBF)

44m
This week, Father Cooper sits down with Demi Lovato. Demi exposes the reality of what it was like to be one of the biggest stars on the Disney Channel. How much of Demi’s personal life did Disney have control over and what the fuck was up with the purity rings? Demi outlines how extreme management evolved into manipulation and brainwashing which led to drugs and alcohol. Now free of the control, Demi reflects back on problematic relationships and opens up about which relationship inspired the song "29." Holy Fuck…Demi shares all about sex and dating and discusses a new relationship. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised.

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Runtime: 44m

Transcript

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Speaker 1 It's a bop. Bang.
Like, it's giving me old demi vibes. Like, yes.

Speaker 2 I love that you know, old demi vibes.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Are you kidding me? Did you forget? Oh, do you know how many times I've cried over that in my bedroom? Like, I don't, like, in a good way, like, therapeutic.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, Demi's with me. I, are you kidding?

Speaker 2 If we repeat some of this, just pretend like it didn't happen before because this is all great.

Speaker 1 We need to stop, stop, stop. Are we ready yet?

Speaker 2 Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 1 What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Speaker 2 Demi Lovato, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Speaker 1 Thank you. It is such an honor to have you here.
And I want to say, it's a big deal you're here for many reasons. Oh, my God.
Thank you. Of course.

Speaker 1 But I've had sometimes people like, come on if they're like a fan of the show, but you are the first person. I have ever had on Call Her Daddy whose mom is a fan of Call Her Daddy.

Speaker 1 Shout out Demi's mom. Yes.

Speaker 2 My mom loves this podcast. And she was like, you have to say hi.

Speaker 1 I was like, of course. We are recording this just before your 30th birthday.
Yes. Leo season.

Speaker 1 What does turning 30 mean to you?

Speaker 2 Turning 30, what it means to me is like, to be honest, I've had a little anxiety. My 20s were like such a mess.
Like I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was.
A lot of shit happened.

Speaker 2 And then I kind of like, over the past couple years, have eased into who I am. And then this year, I'm like, oh, I know who I am.

Speaker 2 So, turning 30 to me has been like, I'm excited for my 30s and what that holds.

Speaker 1 I love that. And I really want to normalize that because I feel like there's such pressure in society of like, when you hit 30, like, figure it out.
And it's like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 No, 20s are meant to do all the fuck-ups. And then 30s is when it's like, let me come into my own and really figure myself.

Speaker 2 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

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Speaker 1 You were one of the voices of our generation. I started listening to your music in middle school, crying up against the window.
Did you

Speaker 1 get like fully singing? All my heartbreaks. I'm like curled up with Demi.
I feel like I already know you. Like truly, it's been a roller coaster.

Speaker 1 I feel like I've literally known you for so long and I still love your fucking music. Oh, thank you.
Were you always a natural performer?

Speaker 2 I think that

Speaker 1 performer,

Speaker 2 no, I wasn't always a natural performer. I had some like adjusting that I had to do over time.
I started performing on tour with the Jonas Jonas Brothers when I was 15.

Speaker 2 And so, and I went from my first show in June of like 20, 2008.

Speaker 2 It had like 100 people to July, my first show with the Jonas Brothers was 18,000 people. So I had to like learn how to perform on these massive stages.
And it was super intimidating.

Speaker 2 I was so nervous, but like,

Speaker 2 I figured it out and I found my groove. But I have always been a vocalist.
Like, you know, singing has always come natural to me.

Speaker 2 My first time singing on stage was when I was like five and at my talent show in kindergarten.

Speaker 1 What did you sing?

Speaker 2 Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On,

Speaker 2 which is like one of the hardest songs to sing, but I was like, yeah, I'm going to tackle that.

Speaker 1 I was just about to say, Demi, I'm like thinking like, ooh, like maybe like a pop song. She's like, Celine Dion.
Like, what's that?

Speaker 1 I'm like, Demi, you just go right for the most iconic singer, hardest song to sing. Like, classic.

Speaker 2 okay so someone had a little confidence back then there you go i love that yeah and my mom like also i rate i was raised with like aretha franklin and vocalists like that and then when i started learning vocalists that were in um the era of when i was growing up it was christina guilera and kelly clarkson and those were the the singers that I gravitated to because they did things with their voices that I couldn't and I wanted to learn how.

Speaker 2 So I made it my mission and was like, whoever is really, really talented, I want to do what they do. And so I just sang and sang and sang my little heart out until I could hit the same notes as them.

Speaker 1 And then you eventually absolutely got there.

Speaker 1 So for someone watching this, kind of going back to your childhood a little bit. Yeah.
To kind of paint the picture, you're growing up and your parents split when you were really young.

Speaker 1 Did your biological dad have any input when you began working as a kid?

Speaker 2 No. So my biological dad, he was mentally ill and had a lot of addiction problems.
And so he wasn't really in my life at all.

Speaker 2 I mean, I was the one that would reach out and call him, but like he was really sick mentally. And so over the years, I

Speaker 2 slowly stopped reaching out and calling him because he was so sick, it was hard to have conversations with him. He was schizophrenic and he had delusions.

Speaker 2 And so our conversations went from, how are you? I miss you to I'm doing a movie with Steven Spielberg and Jodi Foster is my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, we like can't talk anymore.

Speaker 2 And so I guarded myself from that relationship. And he didn't have a say, but he was proud.
He was really proud. When I would talk to him, he was really proud.

Speaker 1 And there was a lot to be proud for. Technically, your start in the business was you started in pageants, right?

Speaker 2 Yes. I started in beauty pageants when I was seven.

Speaker 2 And my first like big win was Minimus, Texas. Yeah, that was my introduction.
And then from there, I got an acting coach and I started doing acting.

Speaker 1 In your documentary, Simply Complicated, your mom, who was a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, she acknowledges her emphasis on being skinny and being perfect affected you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did your mom's opinion about herself affect your opinion about yourself?

Speaker 2 Well, look, my mom had an eating disorder. And so naturally, someone that's in their eating disorder who isn't aware of it can pass on things to their child.

Speaker 2 And so I put a lot of pressure on myself and in the beauty pageants to look a certain way.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm going to go on the record here and say, like, beauty pageants are awful for children's self-esteem.

Speaker 2 And like, they teach you to ignore your emotions until you go to your hotel room and that's when you can cry it out.

Speaker 2 And it was this toxic environment of like, who's more beautiful and things like that. And at such a young age, it confuses you.

Speaker 2 And so over the years, I developed my own eating disorder and that bled into my career as well.

Speaker 1 When you're performing, you have to be okay. You got to go up there.
You got to put a smile on your face. You got to make everyone else feel great.

Speaker 1 But that's not how you felt on the inside

Speaker 2 what do you remember depression feeling like as a seven-year-old as a seven-year-old when my depression started to kick in it was more of like this fascination of death

Speaker 2 and um for some reason i had this like understanding that life was only going to get more difficult and so i had suicidal ideations from age of seven so much so that like my school called my parents, and

Speaker 2 they had me sign, like, this contract saying that I wouldn't do anything to myself. And so, I entered therapy and guidance counseling at the school

Speaker 2 at seven years old. And,

Speaker 2 you know, it's something that I still deal with occasionally. And I just think it's a part of,

Speaker 2 it's just something that I've learned to accept and manage. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When your parents got that call and you got into therapy, was there like regular check-ins?

Speaker 1 And because you were working also at the time at a young age, like was there a regimen of like checking in on Demi and making sure she was okay?

Speaker 2 I was so young that I don't really remember. And I remember the the person that actually saw the contract was my great grandmother because I was, I went to her house afterwards.

Speaker 2 And she was like, well, please don't do that. Like, are you okay? And, um, and so, yeah, there was probably check-ins, but I don't really remember them because I was so young.

Speaker 1 What was your peer dynamic when you were in school?

Speaker 2 My peer dynamic when I was in school was

Speaker 2 difficult.

Speaker 2 You know, I was thrown from being on Barney where I homeschooled for like a year.

Speaker 2 Then I went back to school and I'd actually learned more when I was homeschooling to where like when I went back to school, I was like helping her show the class, like this is what I've learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 But when I went back to school, you know, there was a lot of drama. There was a lot of, it was the, the

Speaker 2 sixth grade, seventh grade drama. That's the worst.
It's the absolute worst with preteen girls. They're just mean.

Speaker 1 That age is when, like, I personally know, like, bullying started for me. Like, that is the worst fucking age.
That's when it all goes down. What were you bullied for?

Speaker 2 So there was this whole incident where the main.

Speaker 2 week that I was bullied.

Speaker 2 I had actually gotten the opportunity. I was already performing at like, you know, USO bases and like little

Speaker 2 car dealerships here and there that would have like festivals and whatever. I had the opportunity to open for JoJo, the singer.
And this was when get out leave was like on top of the charts.

Speaker 2 And as a preteen, we're all like, go JoJo, because she's our age, right? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 2 Anyways, she, I had the opportunity to open for her and I invited one of the girls that was in my clique of friends. And I got the opportunity to go backstage and meet her after I opened for her.

Speaker 2 And the other girl didn't. And I used her camera.
It was like this disposable camera.

Speaker 2 And when I got back to school, she gave me all the pictures from the show, but the one of me and JoJo was missing. And I was like, where did that one go? And she was like, oh, it just didn't develop.

Speaker 2 And I was like, Bitch, like, I know that it developed and you're just salty about it.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 that week turned into like hell for me. And all of a sudden, it turned, well, there was drama around that, the picture not showing up, but then people took sides.
And

Speaker 2 I remember it was like me and girls, like walking into the cafeteria where like the popular girls hated me. Anybody that wanted to be popular hated me.
The popular guys hated me.

Speaker 2 And they have all the power in school.

Speaker 2 And at one point, I was like hiding in a bathroom and I called my mom and I was like, I need to get out of here. They signed a suicide petition.

Speaker 2 They passed it around and got people to sign it saying if you, um, we want Demi to kill herself. Um,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 it was just, it was awful. And so, um,

Speaker 2 and they said some other mean stuff in there that like was just really hurtful. And so I ended up leaving and homeschooling.

Speaker 2 And it was a blessing in disguise because it gave me motivation to keep going and it also gave me all this free time after i did my schoolwork to practice music for three four hours a day and i did that for years you were kind of getting bullied i think because you were having success right like you were kind of starting to make it people were jealous at that age they're super insecure we all know how that goes but do you think you then leaned into your craft because it was kind of like your escape from what you'd been going through i leaned into my craft, but I also leaned into my eating disorder because the reasons that they gave me for bullying were they were like, you're a slut, you're a whore.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, I'm 12 and I've only had my first kiss.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 they were like, and you're fat.

Speaker 2 And they started calling the house saying they were from Jenny Craig and they wanted Demi. And

Speaker 2 so.

Speaker 2 I was like, well, I guess that's their reason for me being hated so much. I guess it's because I'm fat.
And I developed an eating disorder at 12. And it was really hard.

Speaker 2 But yes, at the same time, I used it as motivation. Like, I'm going to make my name so in your face that you can never escape me again.

Speaker 2 And it felt really good when that finally came true.

Speaker 1 So you make it to Disney Channel.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Which I was saying is basically winning an Oscar as a child. Like at a time, what age, are you kidding? Let's watch a Disney Channel movie.
I'm like, okay, like I, can you tell?

Speaker 1 I've literally watched all of it.

Speaker 1 I do. I do.

Speaker 1 Everything. To paint the picture, like who was also acting on Disney around that same time as you?

Speaker 2 It was the golden era of Disney. I mean, there was one golden era where it was like Raven and Hillary Duff.

Speaker 2 And then it like moved into this other golden era where it was like Hannah Montana had just started like a year or so before. High school musical had just happened.
Selena was on Wizards.

Speaker 2 And I auditioned for.

Speaker 2 the Jonas Brothers TV show.

Speaker 2 And I was up for the role of their like female best friend or whatever. And I remember I didn't get it.
And I was crushed. I was heartbroken.

Speaker 2 But Disney was like, but we want to see you for these other two projects. And I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 Like I had taken the hardest no in my life and I was just like, I don't know if I want to go audition again, but I will. So I did.
I went and auditioned and I ended up booking them both.

Speaker 2 One was Sunny with a Chance and one was Camp Rock. So like that for me was like, I get my own movie and my own TV show.
Are you kidding? Like on Disney Channel? And I knew my life was about to change.

Speaker 1 Was there competition amongst the big actors on Disney?

Speaker 2 Even though I'm a competitive person, I really like

Speaker 2 quieted that voice because I was like, it's not worth it. We all have our own talents.

Speaker 2 And that's why I'm not jealous of any artist today is because like we all have our own lanes and someone has to fill my lane, you know?

Speaker 1 As like a young girl watching those shows, I was always like, Demi seems like she would, like, I could be friends with with her. Oh, thank you,

Speaker 1 eating my hair in my room, be like, I could be friends with her,

Speaker 1 eating my hair moving.

Speaker 1 The most perfect hair, by the way. We've already had this conversation, but it is funny because you really gave that vibe of like relatable and like someone that you could be friends with.

Speaker 1 It was the bangs, the camp rock bangs, it was the bangs, it was the bangs, and you brought the bangs back today. Today,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 What pieces of your personal life did Disney have a say on once once you started working with them?

Speaker 1 Whew.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 there were expectations on you to be a role model because all of a sudden you're thrust into that position, whether you want to be or not. Like you're on shows that kids are watching.

Speaker 2 You can't be seen at a party with a red cup in your hand because it looks like.

Speaker 2 It could be alcohol. And people online, like there was this website called Ocean Up and Ocean Up would just like take all scandalous things that were happening to Disney actors and put it on there.

Speaker 2 And so we lived in fear of that website. It wasn't really ever Disney saying,

Speaker 2 you can't do this, you can't do that. But if something happened, there would be conversations.
And I will say that like.

Speaker 2 That pressure of you're replaceable was always there, not necessarily ever said by Disney, but they didn't have to. Because it was like, Disney is the hottest thing for teenagers to be on.

Speaker 2 And there are millions of kids that want to be in your place.

Speaker 2 And so you have to be on your best behavior, or else, you know, there's the next girl in line that could book the movie that you're supposed to be in.

Speaker 2 What people don't know is that the amount of work we had to do. Every year I filmed a season of a TV show.
I went on tour, I made an album, and I shot a movie.

Speaker 2 And I did that for like three or four years. I think it was three.
But if I had a hiatus from my show, I would have the tour bus pull up to the studio and take me on tour for one week.

Speaker 2 Or I would fly to London to do promo. And I remember one day I woke up.
I was so tired and like.

Speaker 2 just drained from how much work I was doing as a 16 year old. I woke up and I just started crying.
And my mom was like, what's wrong? And I was like, I'm so tired. And then she started crying too.

Speaker 2 She was like, me too.

Speaker 2 And it was like this sad kind of hilarious moment and we were like okay put you know put ourselves together we got to do this and so there was this extreme workload that i think put a lot of pressure on us and that's why some of us turn to

Speaker 2 i personally turn to if you're going to work me like an adult i'm going to party like an adult and that at 16 17 wasn't healthy at all when you had that moment with your mom

Speaker 1 Do you wonder if she ever thought to be like,

Speaker 1 hey, like you don't have to, you know?

Speaker 2 I think my parents were also under the, you know, impression that someone will take your place if you don't commit to this stuff. And so I'd sit down with my management and

Speaker 2 my dad and we'd go over the schedule. And the thing was, is I was also bipolar.
And so, and I was unmedicated. So there would be times where I'd have this like.

Speaker 2 all this energy and I'd look at my schedule and be like, I can do that, that, that, that. Plus, this is the cover of Cosmo.
Like, I want to do that. It's cover of 17.
Like, I want to do that.

Speaker 2 I didn't want to miss anything. I had like major FOMO if I did.
So I just kept, kept on pushing.

Speaker 2 But then by the time it would get there, I'd fall into like a depression and it'd be really hard to work. At that age.

Speaker 2 technically at 16 you are the thing that's making all the money for all the people around you and if you stop it all ends and also at a certain point i was paying for the roof over my whole family's head and my dad had quit his job to become my manager.

Speaker 2 So it was, his income was coming from me. My mom was a stay-at-home mom,

Speaker 2 didn't, you know, wasn't reliant on, well, I mean, kind of was, but it was just that pressure of like, I'm paying for everything and like I need to keep going because if things start to disappear, so does the finances.

Speaker 1 So you reference, if I'm going to be treated like an adult, I'm going to party like an adult. Yes.
At what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs?

Speaker 2 So I started experimenting for the first time when I was 12. I got into, or 13, I got into a car accident and they prescribed me opiates.

Speaker 2 And my mom didn't think that she'd have to like lock up the opiates from her. 13 year old daughter, but like I was already drinking at that point.

Speaker 2 I was, you know, had been bullied, was looking for an escape. And when my mom saw how many of the pills had disappeared and how fast they did, she took them away, locked them up.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I, I drank a lot in my teenage years. And then it wasn't till I was about 17 that I started.

Speaker 2 Well, that's not even true. Like there were times where I'd get certain kinds of pills throughout like 15, 16.
I'd steal my mom's Xanax. She had a Xanax addiction.
And like,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 it was off and on. And then at 17 is when it kind of was the first time like I, I tried

Speaker 2 Coke and like

Speaker 2 loved it too much. And then that kind of bled into

Speaker 2 me going to treatment like right when it, right after I turned 18.

Speaker 1 When you were drinking, were you drinking alone or were you going out places?

Speaker 2 My first time drinking, I was alone. And that was like, should have been a major red flag.

Speaker 2 I like stole beer from my dad in the fridge, my stepdad, and like took it to my room and drank like four beers just to see what it was like to feel drunk.

Speaker 2 And like, I was like a little 90-pound, you know, girl. So that was a lot.
And

Speaker 2 then it started being with like friends. And

Speaker 2 it was not, it wasn't ever alone after that, but that was my first time.

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Speaker 1 When you're kind of at this age where you start to kind of experiment, you're drinking and everything, did not only your parents, but like management and publicists and everything, did people know you were drinking and doing drugs?

Speaker 2 When it came to management's attention that I had been

Speaker 2 doing pills, they definitely were like, this can't happen. And like, what's going on? And do we need to get you help?

Speaker 2 And I was really good at convincing people like, no, it was just like, you know, I had a hard time sleeping and blah, blah, blah. Or I'd make up excuses.
And finally, when it got to a point where

Speaker 2 it was clear that I needed help and I needed to go away, everyone was really supportive of it because it had been like kind of a long time coming.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 thinking about the whole Disney era, I, there was a major wave of purity ring wearing.

Speaker 1 I can't even, I can't say it with a straight face, okay?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like, holy fuck. Oh, no pun intended.
No pun intended. There was a huge wave of purity ring wearing amongst Disney stars.
Oh, yeah. What the fuck was that about?

Speaker 2 So I think it was just my purity, I had a purity ring that came from my church, like way before Disney Channel even happened. I was like 11 or 12.

Speaker 2 And like, obviously that's not, that shouldn't have even been implemented on 11 or 12 year olds. But I was like, okay,

Speaker 2 like I'll, I'll do this, whatever. That quickly went out the window at a certain point.

Speaker 2 And then I left the others to have their purity adventures on their own. But I mean, to each their own, I don't know.
It was an interesting thing to come out publicly and say.

Speaker 1 It really was. Because I remember being that age and like, I should have been apparently wearing one because I was like Catholic at the time.
God, I'm getting like burned.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, why are people wearing these things? And it was so, such an interesting, it almost at the time when I look back on it, really felt like the Disney kids like were getting older.

Speaker 1 And it felt like like a way to really cement, like, no, we're really good kids, and we don't do anything bad. And it's like, look at my, look at my finger, like, oh, they wear a purity ring.
Right.

Speaker 2 I don't, I don't know. Like, I had one, and I think I talked about it, like, once, but, like,

Speaker 2 and it caught a little bit of fire, but I definitely not as much as the other people wearing them. And I quickly hushed about that when I started having sex.

Speaker 1 Cause I was like, I lost it. I don't know where it went.

Speaker 2 It broke. I think I like, I think it actually literally broke because it was so cheap.
And then I was like, well, this is, that's my sign.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Have you ever sat down and discussed the challenges of being inside this Disney machine with people like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas brothers?

Speaker 2 I think over the years, like we talked about it for sure, but

Speaker 2 I do have a project in the works where I want to

Speaker 2 talk to some of those people about their experiences and other child stars as well.

Speaker 1 Kind of like we were talking about earlier, there were all these systems in place in your life. Everyone, you know, they're taking care of your career with you.

Speaker 1 And then well into adulthood, your personal life was also being controlled by people that were managing your career.

Speaker 1 Demi,

Speaker 1 in what ways was your team controlling your life?

Speaker 2 There was someone that came into the picture and

Speaker 2 when they came into the picture, everything in my life was controlled. I started having a sober companion, which was helpful for me, but it should not have lasted three years.

Speaker 2 And then it became controlling around my food. And for someone in recovery from an eating disorder, that's so dangerous.

Speaker 2 It actually exasperated my eating disorder to the point where I became bulimic again. From 2016 to 2018, I was dealing with that.
And we're talking like,

Speaker 2 I've never talked about this before, but there was one time where I

Speaker 2 had

Speaker 2 binged and purged. one night and I came clean to my team and said, hey, this happened.

Speaker 2 You know, I snuck out of my hotel room because they didn't let me have phones in my hotel rooms because they didn't want want me to call room service.

Speaker 2 I didn't have food in my hotel room, like snacks in the mini bar because they didn't want me to eat the snacks.

Speaker 2 Ellen talked about this on her show where they cleared the dressing room of like all sugar before I would get in there. She was like, I remember that.
And

Speaker 2 they,

Speaker 2 after I told them what had happened,

Speaker 2 My security guard walked by my room or was made aware that they had built they like barricaded me into my hotel room they put furniture outside of my door so that i couldn't get out and sneak out and eat if i wanted to and so it was that level of controlling when it came to my food which just made my eating disorder worse one time i said i i'm throwing up blood i need to go to treatment i need to get help and this was in like 2017

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 this person looked at me and said you're not sick enough. And I think that was his way of saying, like, no, you're not going back to treatment because if you do, this will look bad on me.

Speaker 2 And so I didn't. I didn't go back into treatment.
And

Speaker 2 I, you know,

Speaker 2 less than a year later, I ended up overdosing. And so I think it was just like, I felt trapped.
I felt like I couldn't get out of this situation. And my way of like

Speaker 2 blowing everything up was relapsing on drugs and alcohol because they always said if you use, we're out. And I was like, all right, time to get out, buy.
I've learned a lot from that experience.

Speaker 2 Like, no one can control me anymore. And I was under the control for from

Speaker 2 18 to

Speaker 2 25.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 those are years where you're trying to figure out your adulthood. You know, you're no longer a teenager, but for some reason, I had people controlling everything I ate.
You know, my

Speaker 2 business decisions were always being made

Speaker 2 for me.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 now I found my voice. No one can ever do that to me again.

Speaker 2 And I feel empowered by what I went through because I had to grow and I had to learn to accept that I'm my own boss.

Speaker 1 When you, just to clarify, when you're referencing this person is basically trying to keep you from eating, it's for the image to make sure you look thin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which helps their career and their income. Can you talk a little bit about mentally

Speaker 1 why it's so hard to push away from people that get their claws in you in that position?

Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 I would even go so far as to say like there was a brainwashing element to it where you were totally under the impression that if I don't listen to this person who knows so much about recovery, I'm going to lose everything.

Speaker 2 And so you put all of your trust and your faith into one person.

Speaker 2 And then from that, everyone around me listens to that one person.

Speaker 2 And they go with it. You know, if, if this person says, this is what it is and this is how it should be, then we listen to them.
And then it became, um,

Speaker 2 it got to the point where like, if they didn't like a chef that I had, they would sit me down and say, like, we don't like the chef that you have.

Speaker 2 We think that you should try someone else.

Speaker 2 And so I would say, okay, like I wouldn't, I just put all of my trust and faith into, you know, into people around me that I think didn't have my best interest at heart.

Speaker 2 The reason why they didn't like that chef that I had was because the chef told me, they said, they read your bank statements to see what you order at Starbucks to make sure you're not getting like cookies or pastries or things like that.

Speaker 2 And when I found that out, I told them, and then they were like, we don't like your chef. And I was like, oh, you, you realize that.

Speaker 2 That she's the one that told me.

Speaker 1 Hearing you talk about this, it does sound

Speaker 1 like a version of what Britney Spears went through. Right.

Speaker 1 Like the controlling and the

Speaker 1 micromanaging to the point where you don't even have control over your own life. Right.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine how alone you felt when you said, like, they had said, if I use, then they were gone. And then I use.

Speaker 1 And in a way, it was almost like your cry for help of like, get the fuck away from me. Right.
A lot of people don't understand this side of the world.

Speaker 1 And I think that's why i love having you on right now because people we get headlines e-news says something about and it's like we don't understand

Speaker 1 what you as a human being are going through and people are so ruthless to quickly make a judgment of like oh well she's got all the money in the world so her like well and it's like listen to what you're saying right now like this is a nightmare right and i couldn't talk about it i felt trapped and you know i don't know how many people have gone through that situation but it is it is really sad In a bustle article, you asked the question, what do I want my relationship with my manager to look like without enmeshing my own father issues onto him?

Speaker 1 What did you mean by that? How were your father issues affecting your relationship with your manager?

Speaker 2 I had such interesting relationships with my dads and the abandonment issue from my birth father was so deeply rooted inside of me that when it came to management, like I put I placed that fatherly figure role onto him and onto this other person that I have mentioned.

Speaker 2 And so I, when looking for a new manager, I wanted to find someone that I don't place that fatherly figure role onto and that it's just business.

Speaker 1 In your documentary,

Speaker 1 Dancing with the Devil.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 You reveal your virginity was taken from you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were raped.

Speaker 1 Is it possible to heal from an experience like that?

Speaker 2 I think in a way time can heal wounds, maybe not all of them.

Speaker 2 The more time that has gone by, the easier it has gotten. But there's still a sadness, a deep sadness inside of me that someone took that from me at such a young age.
And

Speaker 2 it was hard because this person was also

Speaker 2 around, like they were also on Disney. And so

Speaker 2 seeing them around was difficult. And it really messed up my

Speaker 2 teenage years.

Speaker 2 And finally, I went and got help for that.

Speaker 2 And it's been something that I've worked on. But, you know, I've had other traumas happen.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it kind of pushes those to the side a little bit. But there are moments where I like, I definitely will cry and just feel the sadness inside of me because, you know, that's healthy to do.

Speaker 2 Rather than bottle it up, I just will allow myself to have those moments of like, that was really sad. What happened to you? And you're a fighter.
Like you can get through it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I can't imagine at that young of an age having to still have someone be on Disney and having to see someone that did that to you, I mean, you are a survivor. Thank you.

Speaker 2 And to be clear, like it wasn't anyone in the immediate Disney circle, you know, like I've had people ask, you know, questions of like, was it this person or was it that person?

Speaker 2 And it was like, I don't think it'd be anybody that anyone would guess, but they were friends with someone on set and they'd come around and

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 So many people, especially young women, listen to my podcast that have been sexually assaulted. And it's a really,

Speaker 1 it's complicated if you've never been through it, how do you give someone advice on that, right?

Speaker 1 And so where have you generated the strength to keep going through trauma?

Speaker 2 I think that I've just had a lot of trauma in my life. And

Speaker 2 there's a persistence, a determination inside of me. And I think I learned that from like the bullying experience of like, you can turn this around and make it into something great.

Speaker 2 And I'm not saying that I've turned sexual assault into anything great, but,

Speaker 2 you know, I've written about it in music. I've healed from it and it's just made me stronger.

Speaker 1 You are so fucking strong, and it is written all over your new album.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 1 I was listening to it in my car. I feel like that's also the best place to listen to new music when you're the best.
The best. Yeah.
The best.

Speaker 1 You're like by yourself, you're listening, and you're just like so first of all i just want to say i'm a huge fan of your new album thank you holy fuck holy fuck is the album also holy fuck it's so fucking good thank you demi i need to know how does this album reflect where you are in your life right now

Speaker 2 this album um it reflects this album like actually there's a journey to it so like in the beginning of the album you can hear my anger you can hear like i left treatment in um december this last year um getting help again.

Speaker 2 And I'm sober again and I feel great. But like, there was all these emotions that I left treatment with.
And I wanted to convey them in my music. And so the first few songs are like really angry.

Speaker 2 And it's like, this is who I am. Take it or leave it.
I know what you're saying about me online. Like, Demi Leaves Rehab again.
Like, I see you. I hear you.
And then as I started to heal.

Speaker 2 I was like, you know what? I'm actually like getting happier. And I was owning my sexuality in a lot of the songs.
And then my album became like,

Speaker 2 so it was like angry, then like

Speaker 2 sex, and then like love songs.

Speaker 1 Your songs are incredibly personal, and you always give insight into your life. And I feel like that's why your fans are obsessed with you.

Speaker 1 It's because you're like, you put it all out there, and that's why we love Demi Lovato. It's like, we, and I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Cause, you know, sometimes we don't get a lot from people, and you're like, this is me, this is me, this is me,

Speaker 1 but oh my god, everyone's like, Stop, Alex. But I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 And in the tone of one of the songs, like you are fucking fighting, and you're like, I have something to say, and I'm going to address it as I always address my journey.

Speaker 1 And I always talk about what the fuck I'm going through. And so, why would this be any fucking different from this album?

Speaker 1 The song 29. Yes, what inspired you to write this song?

Speaker 2 I went to treatment after turning 29. I did a lot of work on myself

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I had this realization when I turned 29 that I came out of treatment with anger. I came out of treatment with

Speaker 2 understanding and growth. And so it was like a reflective song for me.
And even though there's undertones of anger, it was like I really learned a lot about

Speaker 2 that experience and I decided to write about it.

Speaker 1 To anyone that hasn't listened to the song, you need to go listen to it. Just a couple of the lines to give them a

Speaker 1 too young to drink wine, just five years a bleeder, student and a teacher, far from innocent. What the fuck is consent? Numbers told you not to, but that didn't stop you.
Now I'm finally 29.

Speaker 1 Funny, just like you were at the time. What do you hope people take away from these lyrics?

Speaker 2 If you're a young girl and you think that it's

Speaker 2 sexy or fun to date older men,

Speaker 2 it's not okay

Speaker 2 unless you're of age.

Speaker 2 It's portrayed as like, oh, you scored someone older. That's cool.
And it's like, actually, that's weird.

Speaker 2 So it's just like a reflective moment of like, if you are in that situation, just listen to this song and like kind of think about it.

Speaker 1 How did you decide to release it as a single?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 it was hard. It was really hard for me to release this as a single because it's so emotional for me and so personal.

Speaker 2 But I think sometimes the public needs the truth. And that's why I decided to release it as a single because I think the message is so important.

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Speaker 1 What is your favorite song on the album to have sex to?

Speaker 2 First of all, I'm saying favorite. First of all, I don't have sex to my own music.

Speaker 1 Demi, come on, I'll have sex to your music. Okay, go for it.
Go for it.

Speaker 2 I just, I feel, I would feel weird about it if I had to.

Speaker 1 If I had to. Dude, people listening, which song should they fuck to?

Speaker 2 Well, it depends. If you're trying to be like, like, sensual and sensual, listen to come together.

Speaker 2 If you're trying to like bang it out, bang it out, you know what? If you're trying to bang it out, listen to bones. Bones is like, it's like, I want to jump your bones.
That's the, that's the hook.

Speaker 1 We are not in Disneyland anymore, guys. Disney channel is dead.

Speaker 1 Demi fucking Lovato, you are fucking back with a vengeance.

Speaker 2 I'm obsessed.

Speaker 1 Speaking of sex, Demi, you gotta get a little tea. Are you dating anyone?

Speaker 2 I, yeah, I'm dating somebody.

Speaker 1 Look at that girl.

Speaker 1 Okay, we don't need like too many detes, but like, how's it going?

Speaker 2 Like, what's the vibe? It's going really well.

Speaker 1 It's going well. Yeah, can I say that?

Speaker 2 It's all the team.

Speaker 2 It's your life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's my life. No, we're looking at your team.
Yeah. It's your fucking life.

Speaker 2 It's my life. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's going really well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, when you're dating someone, what is the most important thing you look for in a partner?

Speaker 2 I have to laugh. Like someone, I've been, you know, I've dated people that were beautiful or, you know, sexy.
And it's like,

Speaker 2 I still am. Like the person I'm dating is so hot and so sexy and I am obsessed.
But like, I,

Speaker 2 the most important thing is like, eventually over time.

Speaker 2 you know, we grow old and looks fade and things like that. Like you have to find someone that completely understands you, but most importantly to me, makes me laugh.

Speaker 1 i'm like so happy for you because i can tell it's like fresh and it's great because you are fully fully blushing you're like stop

Speaker 1 demi knew you we don't ask for permission what if you want to say that are you

Speaker 1 we're not saying names here unless you want to say his name

Speaker 2 okay you're gonna go on tour right yes so excited is it hard to date while you're on tour I found that it's actually kind of easy if you make sure that you see each other like okay

Speaker 2 once every two three weeks okay fun um

Speaker 2 it's important to like to and it's also face time like face time is really helpful um and i'm sure like it's like i think what's gonna suck is being away from the person that you're dating but like ultimately it kind of builds anticipation too for when you do see them and it's like so exciting you know so exciting and i think it's also the test of like if you can make it through that yes like that's a great strength building core exercise what the fuck am I saying um okay when you go on tour what are you looking like most forward to when you're going on this upcoming tour rocking out because I did you know the pop music and kind of R B pop which was fun but also at the same time I felt like it wasn't me like I was trying too hard to be sexy and I was in the little leotards and the you know stiletto heels and I wasn't comfortable comfortable.

Speaker 2 And so I want to be comfortable on the stage and I will be. And I can just completely be myself, which is going to be so exciting.

Speaker 1 Will we be seeing like a little old demi music vibe also on tour?

Speaker 2 Old music, yes. You will definitely be, because it matches the sound.
And I've also, which is the most exciting, I've also turned like my hits into

Speaker 2 the style of music that I'm doing today. So like, you know, Cool for the Summer sounds totally different.
Heart attack sounds totally different. Confidence sounds totally different.

Speaker 2 And it's like, it's so exciting. Sorry, not sorry.
Like all of those songs sound totally different. And I'm like, so excited for everyone to hear it.

Speaker 2 You know, I started out with really great instincts on how to be myself. And I strayed away from it because I wanted, I wanted hits.
I wanted what people wanted to hear.

Speaker 2 And so I lost myself for a long period of time when it came to me musically.

Speaker 2 And I've never had an experience in the studio like I've had making this album where it's just so fulfilling, so myself, and

Speaker 2 it's just so fun to sing, and I can't wait to perform it.

Speaker 1 Demi Lovato, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy with me. Thank you, thank you so much.

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