Post Malone: Joining the Mile High Club (FBF)

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Hi, Daddy Gang.

I am currently in Boston, okay?

And I'm on my way to the Post Malone concert.

And I figured I don't want to go alone.

I would love for you to come with me.

That's why I got us this limo.

But if we're going to go to his concert,

I don't know.

I just figured maybe we should also interview him.

You want to come?

Let's get into it.

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It is your founding father, Alex Cooper.

With Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

The man of the hour.

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I guess I should say, post Malone.

Welcome to Caller Daddy.

Well, thank you for having me.

I am so happy to be here.

It's very exciting for me.

I've always wanted to meet you.

Yes, me.

You have a fabulous vibe.

Thank you very much.

We are currently in your dressing room backstage.

You're going to perform tonight.

We are in Massachusetts, a little outside of Boston.

Yes, ma'am.

Do you have any like connection to Boston?

Do you have friends in Boston?

I have a lot of Patriot fans as friends.

Well, friends is a very like loose term.

Yeah, yeah.

I suppose.

Oh, yeah.

Are you friends with Tom Brady?

Is that what you're saying?

No, no, just Patriot fans.

He is a very sweet guy, but a lot of people on the team are, for some reason,

New England Patriot fans.

I love love that.

It's all right, I guess.

It's good.

I don't know.

You don't like the past.

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

So respectful.

No, ma'am.

I fucking hate them, ma'am.

I actually went to college in Boston.

I haven't been back since graduation.

So it's kind of like...

a pretty thrill moment for me.

If I knew in college I was ever going to interview you, I probably would have shit my pants.

Cool.

I did shit my pants today.

Oh, you did?

I wanted to say also thank you for coming.

I know you have a very busy schedule, too, so I appreciate you.

Thank you.

No, I appreciate you.

And I appreciate you waiting as well.

I'm here drinking and relaxing.

It's good.

It's good.

So as I was getting ready for this interview, I was like, okay, I know you typically go by post,

but you have a new album out called Austin, which is your first name.

Yes, we are.

So what's the vibe?

Do you want to start going by Austin now?

My football coaches used to call me Posty.

And that's kind of where that started.

You can call me whatever you want, except late for dinner.

Late for dinner.

That's like my most old man joke of all time.

I literally.

That's like a joke from like the 20th.

I'm not gonna lie.

It's like a Dust Bowl joke.

I'm not gonna lie.

It took me like two seconds to register the joke, and now I get it.

And so now I'm gonna laugh after the job.

The thing is, there's no joke, really.

Okay, so

it's great comedy.

I appreciate you.

No, that's interesting because I was talking to someone that's on your team and he was like, yeah, like sometimes like I'll call him Austin where we're more private vibe.

And then post when it's more like he's post Malone.

He's out there.

Oh, you talk to people from the team?

Oh, I've been like interviewing everyone about you.

I'm getting all the tea posts.

I'm getting all the vibe.

So

do you think like is Austin and Post Malone the same person or is Post kind of like an alter ego?

I think it's a

that's

weird to think about.

I think it's everything is me.

You know, everything is me.

My name's Austin.

Everyone calls me Austin.

Whenever I introduce myself, I always say Austin.

I think, because I got Post Malone from just putting my name in a rap name generator, like in high school.

That is what we need to clarify.

So when I was researching, I was like, hold on.

Your actual last name is Post, which I don't think everyone knows.

So it's Austin Post.

So you put Post as the first,

and you're saying you put it into a random generator, and you got Malone.

Yes, ma'am.

It just gave me the name, and I said, you know what, that does sound cool.

And so I did it.

I want a name like Wiz Khalifa, but it's not nearly as cool as Wiz Khalifa, but it's like it has two words.

So it's kind of like Wiz Khalifa.

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty unique.

So you're on tour, obviously.

That's where we are right now.

How is tour going for you?

It is amazeballs.

It's my first tour with a band.

Okay.

So I'm so, I'm having so much fun.

I'm so excited.

And like, for the longest time, it would just be me

on stage

running around.

And it was very lonely up there.

And so now I can look around.

And if, like, I fuck up or anything,

I'll just be like, hey, stop.

And then the crowd would be like, oh, it wasn't him, you know?

So that's like kind of feeling like I can blame it on everyone else.

It's not my fucking fault.

I fall on my face.

You're like, my fucking guitar is tripping.

So, what inspired you to name the tour?

If y'all weren't here, I'd be crying.

This is true for the most part.

No, not really.

Not anymore.

I'm actually so happy now.

it's super

interesting being out on tour for a long time because for a long time we

just ran around the world especially when i was you know like younger and i could and before covid and all that stuff and now um

being back out on tour is hard because i'm old or i feel old at least I'm a dad.

I'm 28.

I just turned 28.

That's,

whenever I started, I was 19 and like, and I was like, everybody's like, oh, he's like 20 years old.

And I'm like, yeah, that's, yeah.

But now I'm like 28 and no one cares.

I love it.

We're the same age.

So am I old?

No, ma'am.

I feel like 28.

It's like we're like just getting to our prime.

No, you're tired.

I'm super tired.

And going on tour, now my knees click.

Say she tied little money, need a big boy.

Pull up 20-inch blades like I'm Lil Troy.

Now I said, everybody flock, I need a decoy.

Shorty makes another vacuum with the leco.

Can we give you a little

Yeah, I mean, I would love, I wanted to go Stone Cold Steve Austin double leg braces because it's so sick looking.

And I'm, I wear jorts every show, so it's like perfect.

It's a jort stop and then the knee bracelet.

And then the knee brace weekends.

And you're like, why does he wear those?

I don't know, but it looks cool.

I think the more shit that like WWE wrestlers put on, I'm like, whoa, they must have like, they've been through some shit.

I feel like you're the only person that could pull off jorts and knee pads or like knee brace vibes.

Which is, if I did knee pads, that would be badass.

And I want to like, because sometimes I'll hurt my hand

because I'm a dumbass and I play in my garage and like stab myself with a knife on accident.

Yeah.

And then I'll have to like wrap my hand in.

I'm like, oh, so cool.

I love it.

Okay, so I hope next time I see you, you're going to be wearing that shit.

Yes, ma'am.

That didn't answer your question at all, Bob.

Okay, I don't care if we swerve, like, who gives a shit?

We're here to have a good time, okay?

We're getting you ready for your concert.

What is on your rider?

And actually, can you explain what a rider is?

Because some people may have no fucking idea what that means.

Yes, ma'am.

So there's many schools of thought here.

I actually don't know how to spell rider.

I don't know if it's rider or writer.

And I think that's kind of like where the two schools disagree.

And then, but there's a lot of different arguments that can sprout out of that conversation.

We won't go there.

But

a writer is a list of stuff that you like that, I guess, make you feel at home whenever you're not.

So list us yours.

Come on.

The thing about my writer is it's not updated.

I still get candies that I don't like.

Oh,

it's not that I don't like, but for the longest time we had gummy bears, like Haribell gummy bears, which are fine.

But if you eat them, you eat them every day for like two years straight.

I want Black Forest gummy bears.

I want to switch it up.

But for now, we have

Red Cups.

I got a look over there.

We have Emergency.

Why don't you just read?

What do you like?

What do you wish was in here?

I prefer on my writer like a stack of like a million dollars cash.

Yeah.

Would be very bitching.

They don't give a shit about you, I guess.

That's why I heard that.

Old man vibes.

Like, it's over.

Like, you're like, I got to go home.

His knees click.

We don't fucking care.

You're like, as long as you're not.

Just eat the fucking Haribo gummy birds.

Do you think you're high maintenance or lone maintenance?

I consider myself

low maintenance, I think.

Do you think if I asked your team, they would agree?

Ah, yes.

Yes.

I think so.

I don't know because I'm at the core of everything.

I'm super simple.

I need a beer.

I need cigarettes.

And I need

two hours in the bathroom to answer emails.

That's it.

That's all I need, I think.

And then a little bit of beer pong.

But I will say something I'm a little bougie about is I need good cups and balls.

Okay.

Like very specific cups and balls because the way and a lot of the, you know, there's a lot of different cups and balls out there.

Yeah.

And sometimes they'll try to skimp out on the cups and that's when I've had enough.

You take your beer bong very seriously.

Yes, ma'am.

And I've gotten worse as I've gotten.

I used to be so good.

Yeah, wait, I was talking to Bobby and he was like, you know, he's so fucking good.

You're bad now?

Yeah, I'm bad.

I feel like that's also a facade.

I'm so bad.

You're saying that, and then we're going to go in there and you're going to be playing and you're going to be better than everyone.

Are you superstitious before you go on stage?

Like, is there anything specific you have to do where you're like, holy fuck, my day is ruined?

Well, answering the emails is very important.

Okay.

We're doing tonight, Noah's coming out.

Oh, well, this isn't the future.

It's fine, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, in Boston, Noah Kahn came out, and we were talking about inventing

diapers for performers because you never know, you hit the wrong move, and it just, it's Vesuvius.

Yeah, it's going to go.

Yeah.

It's apocalypse.

It's Yellowstone-level eruption sometimes.

Does that happen to you often?

No, man.

It's never happened to me.

Let's just make this very clear.

It's never happened.

I want to look at every camera and say it's never happened to me.

But if it does happen, that's like night.

That's a nightmare.

yeah that's like a nightmare one one could assume that you would since you were like I've been really thinking about inventing these diapers as if this is like a serious like sewage problem for you where you're like just letting it rip well then there's the whole thing because that then think of what I could do with that two hours

okay sometimes I'll bring a guitar in there sometimes I'll

I mean all the best lyrics are written on the shitter

100%

yeah can we clarify for a minute?

So what I've heard is you do some of your best songwriting on shrooms and on the toilet.

Yes, my one.

Well, that's what I was going to say.

Like,

let's talk about it.

Are you taking shrooms and then camping out in the bathroom?

Like, are these two things together or are they kind of like separate ventures?

They are separate ventures, but I've never even thought about it that way because they do kind of...

I've had some of the meanest shits in my entire life.

Off the shrooms and just beer.

It's because it'll be like, like whenever I was a kid too, it'd be like beer and shrooms for like four days and not eating anything.

And I will be like, guys, I'm gonna die right now.

You're shitting your brains out.

Yeah, it's terrible.

This is a skinny legend.

You're like, it is all just coffee.

I lost like 10 pounds from this one trip once.

No, no.

No, but.

Wow.

It's crazy because at one point it just knocks on fucking hell's gate.

And you're like, okay, we need to open the floodgates now.

We need to take care of this.

This is a problem.

You keep talking about doing emails.

Like, do you not have someone to do your emails for you?

Emails is just code for shitting.

Answering emails is just code for shitting.

Okay, you know if you're actually sitting doing emails while you're taking your shit.

Sometimes I'll answer some emails.

I do on tour.

It's hard to like bring gaming consoles and stuff.

And I'm pretty huge pro gamer.

So I do a lot of online shopping and everybody thinks every order I place is fake.

But you're like really shopping in there while you're shitting.

It's me.

And then they call me or.

Can you put your name on the order?

I have to.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I do because they call me and they're like, hey, we've had a lot of fraud.

And we want to say, they even call me about my billing address not matching up with like my home address and stuff.

And I talk, little do they know

I'm totally on the can.

And I have to run like a white noise machine or a little bit of water.

And I have to specifically get up and turn it off and then sit back down just so they don't think like I'm in.

And I know sometimes they can tell with like the reverb.

Because what's interesting about a bathroom, you can definitely tell if you're on speakerphone you can definitely tell if someone's in the bathroom and then in pictures for some reason if you send someone a picture like a selfie while you're shitting there's no way that you don't know they're on the toilet it's like an angle or something are you often taking selfies while you're shitting no but if i do

who would you send a selfie to while you were taking a shit i don't like a like i have a bunch of like ex-seal buddies and ranger buddies and they they do it all the time they're like hey just take it as shit.

What's popping?

And I'm like, all right, yeah, me too.

You know what?

Fuck it.

Let's do it.

Yeah, it gives you like a little extra hair on your chest.

You're like, I'm feeling myself.

This is just like, this is kind of what boys do.

This is like what we do.

We send each other shitty selfies.

Yeah, I like that for you.

And then Dre will FaceTime, my manager will FaceTime me or something, and I'll be like, hey, you know what?

Hey, what's going on?

And he can definitely, you can definitely tell him FaceTime.

It's always such a pleasure to sit down with people because you never know where an interview is going to go.

And like, what I love about Caller Daddy is like, usually it has one vibe, but today it's like, today we're talking about shit.

And like this, but it's comedy.

You're bringing the comedy.

I love it.

You can say this interview really went in the can.

It went in the can.

Okay, I want to take a step back.

Before you were Post Malone, you were just Austin.

What were you like as a kid?

Um

weird.

Mm-hmm.

Weird.

I've always been like,

I don't know.

I've always been kind of an introverted kid, but then, you know, I loved Express.

I loved making music forever.

I loved playing games.

I loved hanging.

I like, I had a small group of friends.

We would just go over to my buddy's house every day and just play games and stuff.

And

I don't know.

Yeah.

Weird?

A little weirdo.

When you say you're a little weird back then, is there like a memory or something, like a story that comes to mind that you can help us like kind of describe?

you as a younger kid?

That's a hard question.

I remember I grew my hair long.

I wore wore the tightest crew jeans I could find and crew was the shit.

It was like the crews and the fallen shoe purple fallen shoes with the fat laces.

And I would go, I don't know.

And then I started, everybody started like goodwilling and like and going to like

the stores to go grab like old penny loafers and shit.

And we would just yeah, thrifting.

I don't know why I couldn't think of that.

Okay, I got you.

I'm here.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, of course.

But yeah, we would just go run around and

play games.

And I don't know if there's a specific memory.

I know everybody's like, oh, I'm quirky.

Oh, I'm zany.

You know, I'm wacky.

You're just like, I was a weirdo.

I don't know.

I was just me.

Yeah, that's the whole thing.

You know, I moved when I was nine.

And then, like,

I used to get bullied a whole bunch in school.

For what?

For, I guess, like, dressing the way I did and stuff.

Like, because I was, like, we wore skinny jeans and all that stuff and that was like just like kind of a new deal.

Yeah.

And I don't know, but people would throw gum in my beautiful hair.

I had beautiful hair.

I had to cut it all off.

You'd cut it off because there was so much gum in your hair.

No, no, there's way too much gum in my hair.

I need this is becoming a problem.

But I was safer.

I was safer because the gum would harden.

And so if like I fell off the skateboard or something.

Right.

Like after class, post would have so much gum in his hair because the entire class would throw gum.

And if you fell, it was more of like a little rebound thing.

Like you were chill.

I was not, I was not throwing gum every day.

Okay, just occasionally.

Yeah, no, occasionally.

Oh, there's that fucker.

Listen with the gum.

What is that?

Trident Layers?

That's good shit.

That'll get stuck super good.

So you wore skinny jeans.

Do you think that was the gist of why you were getting bullied?

No, I don't know.

I think it was always because I was

always wanted to be

myself, I guess.

And

we all know high school is super high school.

Totally.

So, totally, middle school, high school.

And when I was a kid, too, it just didn't start me off good at all because I wore slacks and a dress shirt every day and slicked my hair back because I saw my dad go to work and I was like, you know what?

That dude's cool as fuck.

So I want to do that too.

Yeah, I could see that.

Like the kids be like, why the fuck are you wearing a slack?

And you're like, because my dad does.

He'd be like, because my dad's cool, guys.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

And they're like, well, we're in fucking middle school and high school.

So like, literally get it together.

I remember for one year, my school tried out a uniform, and I was already Gucci.

I was like, I didn't even have to change shit.

I was like, this is this is like, I wake up and put this shit on a Saturday, motherfucker.

It's like, this is me.

These are my PJs.

Dude, it's so fucked how mean kids are at that age.

Like, I also got bullied, and I've talked about it on my show, but I'm like, people were so fucking mean.

And that, like, sticks with you.

And I feel like it's interesting because now I feel like people know in the industry and just your fans, like, you are now known for having like the sweetest, kindest heart.

You're so sweet to people and i wonder like is is any of that because you don't want people to feel the way that you were treated well yeah i always i always think about that too and i know i think

like it keeps me up some nights it'll be it'll be like say i was at dinner or something and um

uh

i'm in the middle of taking a bite and someone will say hey can i have a picture with you and i'll be like

Yeah,

and I'll get up and I won't be as energetic as I used to be because I want to eat too, you know,

of course.

And I always think and I'm like, man, I could have been so much kinder in that situation.

And that kind of drives me nuts because I know how it feels to

meet someone.

And especially, I guess, someone that you either know from music or someone that you really like their music or whatever.

And I know how that feels for them to be.

A total asshole.

And I never, that's kind of like what drove me, I guess, to that.

I don't want anybody.

It only takes one second out of your day to be nice.

And totally.

Do you have any advice for anyone that is like, damn, fuck posts I relate to of like feeling like an outsider or feeling like maybe they don't fit in and they're kind of getting bullied?

Like, do you have any advice?

Any wisdom?

Well, I guess, well, I don't know about wisdom.

But yeah, I mean,

coming from...

from from that and just real like you are so fucking cool you are so fucking cool even if no one thinks you're fucking cool, you're super fucking cool.

I guess that's it.

I mean, at the end of the day,

you're only one person your whole life, and you should be able to express yourself and live your life and do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as you're not hurting anybody.

And a lot of people don't really understand that, I guess.

Especially, it's hard being a kid.

It's hard being a kid.

And

I'm not going to say I understand why kids bully people, but you know, it's hard being a kid.

And

people go through shit every day.

And, you know,

just keep being yourself.

Just keep being fucking cool because you're fucking cool.

And no one can tell you shit, really.

For example, you're pretty fucking cool.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

No gum anymore.

No gum.

Shorter hair.

Shorter.

Looking great.

Thank you very much.

Okay, I'm going to ask you some rapid-fire questions.

Okay.

And Post, I want you to really just give me whatever comes to your mind and your heart in this moment when I ask you this.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

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Who is your best friend in the industry?

Oh, shit.

Louis Bell.

You have to get rid of one tat, which are you removing?

For my mommy, something on my face.

That's fair.

Hi, mom.

Hi, mom.

She's here tonight.

Oh, I need to meet her.

Lovely, lovely.

You can hang out with her as long as you want.

Okay.

That's fine.

Okay.

What is something you used to be embarrassed about, but you don't give a shit about anymore?

Ah, my nipples.

Oh, wow.

I have poofy nipples.

Poofy.

That sounds cute.

It's not cute.

Oh, okay.

It's not fucking cute, bitch.

They're tough.

They're tough.

Did you know they were puffy or did you get told they were puffy?

Yeah, they always gave me shit about that.

I never took my shirt off as a kid because I was like, man, my nipples are so puff.

I don't get why.

I don't understand this.

Oh, just a little puff daddy.

They're just, I'm Puff Daddy.

Okay.

That's how he actually got his name.

Have you seen his nipples?

He is Puffy Nipples.

You and Puff Daddy.

One thing in common?

Puffy Nipples, bitch.

He's just way richer than me.

Puffy nipples.

Stop.

Stop.

Okay, Puffy Nipples.

That's a great answer that I didn't anticipate.

This episode is going to be Polish Malone featuring Puffy Nipples.

This is good.

That's a great rap.

It is good.

Okay.

Have you ever joined the Mile High Club?

Not all the way.

Huh.

Like a little finger bang or like

you couldn't come?

Oh, no.

Definitely bust.

You know how to find the say?

This is Caller Daddy.

We talk a lot about sex here.

Okay.

Yeah, definitely bust.

But no, like

coitus.

Okay.

Not full coitus.

Okay.

That's good.

Thank you for.

This is good.

And here's the whole deal.

And I'll tell you why.

I know it's supposed to be rapid fire, but I feel like the moment you get up on an airplane and go to the bathroom or like move around at all, that's when the turbulence starts.

Because I'll see somebody get up and I know they have they have the poop walk.

So I can tell they're going to be back there.

And I'm like, get back in your seat.

It's so bumpy right now.

I know this is your fault.

Am I the only one that feels that way?

No, no, no, no.

I agree with you and I understand that.

Have you ever had the poop walk on the plane?

I have never shit on an airplane.

I have never either.

And you know what?

I know it's kind of gross to talk about, but this whole fucking episode is all shit.

I was on the airplane and I think there's nothing worse than when someone has gas on the airplane and you're just like, like clench it or do fucking something, bro, because it's reeking.

I'm not going to lie.

I definitely have farted real bad on an airplane before multiple times.

And I'm so sorry to everyone that was on there.

They probably thought that fucker was going down because they were like, that's not like a natural smell.

So it's going to be like jet fuel burning or something.

But I have never shit on an airplane either.

And I think it's like there is a level of controllability in there.

You know what I mean?

But would you rather take someone take a shit or fart on the airplane?

Well, you're the fucking culprit over here.

Well, you know, I feel like for a...

Well, look at who he has here.

If it isn't jet fuel shitter on the airplane, making everybody think it's going down.

No, I mean, I feel like during COVID even then, we might not even have that problem.

So I'd let him rip all the fucking time.

You can't smell shit.

And

if the N95s are that

effective, you shouldn't be able to smell my shitty farts.

And they're not shitty, by the way.

Stinky farts.

Your little stinkers weren't getting through.

It's almost like the motherfuckers that were wearing the ones that weren't that thick.

It's like, well, shame on you.

You deserve the farm.

Well, usually, what I do, you know, whatever area I'm in, I kind of distribute the ones that are really powerful with the twisting filters.

So they're like, really, and I'll just say, hey, guys, this is just in case.

And then everybody's usually pretty receptive to it.

They're like,

I appreciate the strategy you put into letting it go.

Okay.

What is your most toxic trait?

I have a bunch of those.

Share with the class.

Drinking.

Drinking.

And

drinking.

And sometimes jealousy.

And I'm also sometimes, especially with my good friends, quick to anger, which is something that

jealousy is in relationships.

Yes, ma'am.

You know.

The fiancé's like, I'm just chilling in the room and you're like,

what are you doing?

You're giving a little jealous vibes.

I am right now?

No, no, no, no.

Just like, I was asking.

Yeah, I can tell you.

I think everybody's going to be jealous after watching this because they weren't as free with their fecal talk.

No, I am.

Exactly.

You're just letting it rip.

Literally.

Okay, so you're jealous.

You're jealous with

your woman a little.

Okay, but that shows you care.

Yeah, well, I guess that's...

A good way to look at it.

I guess that's a way to look at it.

You wouldn't say it.

Well, that's a good way to look at it.

I never, you know, necessarily want to be mean, but I guess that stems from a place of my own insecurity and where, and like, how insecure I am.

So that's,

um, yeah, I don't know.

Nothing like absolutely wild, but it's just like, you know, I just

want to feel loved.

You know what I mean?

I guess that's what it is.

Like many humans.

And you're drinking.

Are you working on it or you're like cool with it?

You just are aware.

I am working on it.

I used to drink because I was sad.

Now I drink

for shows and because I'm happy.

It's hard getting out there

and I get so shy and timid and shit.

So I just drink a little bit to,

I guess, cope with that and be able to get my liquid courage, literally.

That's so interesting because I feel like when I see you on stage, especially online and TikToks, it's like, Post, you're busting out dance moves.

It's like, you're just like in your own world up there.

I would don't think anyone would think that you would be too shy to get up there oh well that's you know

that's yeah most definitely most definitely it's it's uh you think these dance moves just these come they're conduited from a great drinker in the sky somewhere yeah you're like I'm actually just hammered and that's why I feel comfortable to bust a move in my jorts that's exactly what it is with my knee braces

exactly Please put those on before the show tonight.

What is a purchase you blew too much money on and regret?

Regret.

Or you blew too much money on and you're aware, but you don't give a fuck.

I bought the Lord of the Rings magic card.

Oh, do you want to tell me how much that was?

That's $2 million.

Where is it?

Don't make me regret it right now.

Oh, oh, you're saying you don't regret it?

Because I'm like, no,

I definitely don't regret it.

Oh, where is it now?

It is, well, I guess right now, since this is in the future, I have it already.

Would you like to see it?

Oh, yes.

I can't wait.

We'll do it off camera.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

$2 million on a fucking card.

Yes, man.

Wow.

So you really like Lord of the Rings?

I like Lord of the Rings and Magic Together.

Do you like Frodo?

I'm down with Frodo.

I think he's cool.

He's a flawed character, but we all are.

Yeah.

And I like his feet.

Oh.

Not like in a sexy way, but I just think it's cool how he lets him, he's walking around like the most treacherous place in the world in his bare feet.

And I'm like, that's fucking cool.

Yeah, I appreciate you clarifying because I think on this show, people would think you were like, oh, oh, I jerk off the Frodo's feet.

That's the vibe this show would give, so it's good you clarified that.

Answering emails can mean a lot of things.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Okay, $2 million for a fucking card.

Damn.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

Oh, fuck.

You can be honest.

What counts?

You putting your dick in something?

In something?

Well, I didn't know.

Oh, okay.

In something.

But.

Well, first hot.

Whoa.

All right.

All right.

Oh, fuck.

No, no, no.

Are you, do you like women specifically?

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, so, so a V then, a vagina.

Okay.

What's the first time you put your dick in a vagina?

I thought it was like, like, here's like, when's the, oh, first time for anal.

And I'm like, whoa, fuck.

Oh, we can go there too.

Wins the van.

Let's go.

Here we go, post.

Woo!

Let her rip.

Oh, fuck.

September

08?

No, that's from the other guys.

That was his first desk pop.

I don't know.

The question was, age?

Age.

17?

17.

What about the bum hole?

No, fuck.

Oh, not till a couple years later.

What was the experience like?

For me, very cool.

It was a crazy thing.

You know, there's a lot of crazy stuff you look at as a kid.

I'm like, you know what?

Fuck, I don't want to try this shit.

Did she shit on your dick or no, you were okay?

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

Okay, we're moving on.

He kept it clean.

It was clean.

When you pulled out, you were okay.

You weren't traumatized?

No, I was not.

It sounds like you're saying she was.

No, but I can never, I can never like

speak on behalf.

We talk and be like, yeah, everything's great.

But then, like, I don't know.

Like, is this normal?

Yeah.

Have you know?

Not again.

with the

whatever.

You wouldn't do it again.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I would.

I mean, I would.

Oh.

But

not with the same lady.

Totally, totally.

You have a lady.

No, understood, but like, right.

This was like

not with the same lady.

We never did it again.

Does that make sense?

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Yes.

Yes.

I can only speak on my behalf.

No, this is good.

I was like, gung-ho, though.

You're like, I was having a great fucking time.

Anyways,

what is your biggest fear?

I hate airplanes, but that's not a biggest fear.

That's That's a cop-out.

But

I guess not being

able to be there for my baby, which is a new fear.

But yeah, that's why I tried to slow down on drinking, to take better care of my body.

I stopped drinking sodas and stuff.

And I remember

I went to the doctor and they said, hey, man, your liver sucks.

And I was like, all right, so how do we fix it?

And so

we're fixing it.

You're working on it.

Yes, ma'am.

What's the most awkward interaction you've had with another celebrity?

I don't necessarily remember, but I remember there's one gentleman I know who

doesn't drink.

And

I saw him after a couple years, and I was roasted.

And I was like, hey, man, what are you drinking?

He's like, I don't drink.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, dude.

I'm so sorry.

That's like, that's a bad feeling for me.

And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, man.

I get it.

I get it.

You're like, why did I just say that?

But like, I'm sure they get that all the time.

So that's okay.

But I get what you're, it's in a moment.

You're like, fuck me.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

I'll be like, I'm such a dick.

Yeah, that's like, then that shit keeps you up.

You're like, oh, man, I got it.

Why did I do that?

You're a nice guy, though.

You like care, you can affect people.

I, I, everyone can.

That's a, you, that's like, you just be nice.

Don't be a dickhead.

Just be nice.

Don't be a dickhead.

Yes, ma'am.

Let's put that on a t-shirt.

Okay.

You're forced to dress up and role play

in the bedroom.

Okay.

What are you dressing up as?

Well, I guess Frodo.

Now we have to go on like theme here.

You got to keep it consistent.

It has to be.

Either Frodo or Sauron.

Oh, that'd be so badass.

I'll put on stilts and be like 10 feet tall like Sauron.

Do you think that would get your woman turned on?

No, ma'am.

Not even even in the...

There is no life in the void.

And she's like, what the fuck are you doing?

Like, it couldn't be more dramatic.

You're literally disgusting me right now.

What is happening?

You're freaking me out.

You're on stilts.

Post coming in.

Then she'll show me Sauron's eye.

That's a coochie.

That's like the nickname bear for the coochie.

Got it.

And she just spread herself and be like, I guess this is the girl play.

Jesus fucking Christ.

But then we don't even have sex.

I just like practice my mace moves.

Chuck, watch this.

I'm kind of picturing...

This is good too, because it's giving a full idea of what your sex is like.

Do you know what I mean?

Like people are going to be like, oh, this is good.

Like he's on stilts.

Sure.

The whole thing.

It's good.

This is sexy.

Or Captain Price from Call of Duty.

Wow, this is very specific.

You learn something new every day.

This is really good.

When's the last time you cried?

That's been a long time.

That's a lie.

That's been a long time.

Someone told me you were crying yesterday.

I didn't cry yesterday.

Do you cry on stage?

No one saw me yesterday.

Someone saw me.

I almost cry on stage.

I almost cry on stage, but I don't cry.

Almost.

That's sweat.

Dude, it's fucking hot.

It's hot up there.

I'm sweating a lot.

I hadn't crying like fucking six fucking years.

Well, if you were to cry recently, what would you be crying over?

I actually,

I find it harder now.

You kind of get, I don't know, you do it for so long and you kind of lose, like, um,

it's sad, but you kind of like

super calloused to shit.

Yeah.

I used to cry when people would make fun of me and shit.

And now I'm just like, hey, man, well, you don't, you haven't met me.

I think you might like me if we got to hang out, you know, but it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore.

But

I did cry

the other, like, last tour, because my baby started blowing kisses, and it's really cute.

So, they're happy tears, pose.

Yeah, happy tears.

That's great.

That's great.

Well, this is a quick little transition.

We were talking about your baby blowing kisses.

Just pretend that didn't happen for a second.

What's your go-to porn search words?

Frodo feet,

legoless wig,

Sauron May skills, Captain Price and the prom, cruise missile, five killstreak.

These are all, I usually put them all in one, and you'd be surprised if some of the crazy shit comes out of that.

Wow.

No, I don't know.

I mean, I kind of just go to like

daily selection.

The daily trend name.

Yeah, well, yeah, you know, because they...

They spend a lot of time on the algorithm, I think.

And I think, you know, like a lot of people are on these sites.

So, I mean,

something must be right there.

There's no shame.

Check it out.

Totally.

And you get like 10 pages on there, so you can be like, huh, well,

go to page five today.

Or you roll a dice.

You roll a D12 or a D20 and see if you see what page you should go to.

I'm picturing you on Pornhub, like, hmm, like, what's today's selection?

This is interesting.

You're kind of like down here.

Crack some wine.

I'm going to like a nice bottle.

candles and put Lord of the Rings.

It usually takes me like 12 hours, my whole like crank sesh.

Oh, so I can watch all the Lord of the Rings in that time period.

Yeah.

And is that how long you would last during sex?

No.

How drunk am I?

What if you're sober?

Like 30 seconds.

What if you've had, what if you've had, what if you've had seven beers?

Bump that up to a cool minute 30.

Okay.

And what if we're working at like a 20 beer seven?

Crazy night?

Yeah.

I'll go.

That's when the machine turns on.

That's when

it's all finally lubricated.

And you just keep going.

I'd be like, how?

I'd be like, oh no, let's go.

You're in your prime.

You like go to the doctor.

Call the doctor.

What's your favorite sex position?

Missionary, of course.

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You keep it pretty locked down with your personal life.

Yes, ma'am.

Which I think is great.

But again, this is call her daddy.

So I'm going to like ask you a couple questions.

You answer how you're comfortable.

Yes, ma'am.

You're engaged?

Yes, ma'am.

Or are you married and you secretly haven't told anyone?

I'm not married.

You're not married.

You're engaged.

How long have you been engaged?

Two years.

Okay.

Yeah, I met a guy the other day and he was like, I just got married after 21 years.

And I'm like, oh, sick.

Please don't tell her that.

We got you.

We got you.

What would a post-Malone wedding look like?

Bitching.

Bitching.

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't know.

I'd imagine an ice luge for Brews that's just steady going.

And it just...

It keeps keeps being, beer keeps being poured into it.

And all my buddies are like super down for the cause.

So they just go and uh take a suckle of the teat of the nectar and keep that party going dance moves are going to be hopefully uh popping um

i don't know i'd imagine everything

rustic modern

jorts but like wedding jordan lots of camouflage oh

Oh.

Well, yeah, fuck fuck rustic, modern.

I think we just do everything camouflage.

I think, yeah, I think that sounds sounds amazing.

Would you wear a camo suit?

Sure.

Fuck yeah.

Okay.

I actually have a camo tuxedo.

And you're wearing camo crocs.

Yes, ma'am.

Very trendy.

Super trendy.

Very cool.

But I wear it for the utilitarian purposes.

Okay, cool.

How did you propose?

In Vegas.

But we got married.

Just a proposal.

Okay.

And I had lost a significant amount of money at the

table.

And we go upstairs and I'm like

off my rocker, hammered

I was like hey you want to marry me I got a ring and all this stuff and then

she said no

she's like ask me tomorrow and I was like all right yeah and then I did and I was sober and it was nice I fucking love her for that yeah she's like be fucking sober she's a beast yeah but yeah she was right I mean you know I knew I knew you did I knew I'm just a terrible uh arbiter of romanticism I guess

how did you know, like, what is something about her?

Because I know you keep your relationship private, like, what's something that you like knew you were in love with this person?

I could tell,

which is really cool.

I could tell her heart is so

massive.

And I've always wanted kids and like

a big family.

And I could tell she was going to be a really good mama.

And she's, like, number one mom in the fucking universe.

Are any of your songs about her?

They're not out yet.

Is it going to be on the new album?

No, man.

So you've written some, but no one's heard them.

No one's heard them.

But she.

Because that's a.

I don't know.

That's a scary.

I feel like, I don't know.

A lot of the songs I do, a lot of the songs I write for her, I don't even play for her because I'm terribly shy.

Like about the kind of.

I know it's terrible.

I know.

If I was her, I would force you to sit down and like play it.

Oh, we do have a guitar.

Would you play it?

All right, I'll play.

I'll play it.

It's like 25 songs, so I hope you guys are ready.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

You can't get us that excited.

My heart got excited.

Okay, so, but you've written songs about her, but you just don't release them right now.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, so you're now a dad.

Yes, ma'am.

Which is so exciting.

Yes, ma'am.

How old is your daughter now?

At the time of this interview, 14 months.

14, 15 months.

Congratulations.

Thank you very much.

What is Papa Post like?

It's cool.

Very cool.

Very handsome.

My dad, when I was a kid, he would always play me like really heavy music, and I love heavy music.

The other day, I put on a God Smack song, and I was like, started rocking, and she was like, and it was really cute.

So that must have made you really happy.

Yeah, that made me really happy.

What do you think is your best dad's skill?

Having money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For sure.

I think

as of right now,

it's good for the baby and good for the mom.

And I think that's about the only skill I have, really.

Sometimes I'll play guitar with her, which is our all right skill, but they're like, put the fucking guitar away.

I want the new

Fisher Price deal.

You're like, here's my MX.

God bless you all.

I think the baby knows the code.

That'll be her first word is my credit card number.

Yep.

Okay, now what's the expiration?

Very good.

Okay.

Dude.

Dude, that's so good.

You're bringing the dough.

You know, you're self-aware, post.

Okay.

Hey, look,

I'm the happiest I've ever been.

So, you know, if I'm so happy for you.

I'll pay all the money in the world.

It's amazing.

What's a lesson that your parents kind of taught you growing up that you want to make sure that you pass on to your daughter?

Well, my dad said he can't make everyone happy,

which is a good lesson.

I still struggle with that because I try to be...

And being kind is totally different than making someone happy.

But, you know, if there's...

You ever have a problem with

your parents or a friend or something, Um, they'll understand, and you understand, and just kind of be patient with the situation.

Yeah,

and um,

kind of hypocritical at some times, but um, I guess that's that's just be yourself, and and you can't make everyone happy, yeah, especially in sorry, no, you're fine.

Um, I agree with everything you're saying, and I think it's a good approach to life.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?

Small nipples,

you're like puff daddy.

I'm

puffy nips.

You guys know my new record?

No, I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, I guess right now I could say everybody thinks I'm on drugs.

Okay.

I'm not on drugs.

Okay.

It's good to clarify.

No.

Maybe you don't even have to.

Well, that's the.

You should have to.

I just spoke to somebody about this, and it's interesting having everybody in your

life all the time.

And like, I tried to maintain a private lifestyle because, like, you know, especially with the baby, and and

I want her to be able to decide what she wants to do.

Maybe she doesn't want to be on social media, but I see a lot of people, you know, here's my baby, like just right out of the coochie.

Here she is, here they are.

And I'm like, well, you know, how do you know the baby wanted to do that?

You know, trust me, I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Like, let the kid decide.

Yeah, well, that's that's the whole deal.

And so, like, I try to maintain that

whole deal, but

people can see me on stage, and they might take my dance moves.

People are like, this is, hey, this is what meth looks like.

I'm like, I don't, I'm not on meth.

Yeah.

I think it's.

Unless it's in Pedialite.

Is it in Pedialite?

Is it in macaroni and cheese?

Yo.

Because I'm definitely on meth if it's in macaroni and cheese.

But does that get annoying, though?

That, like, how do you decide when you're like, fuck, should I not speak up on this?

You're like, hi, I'm not on fucking drugs.

Respectfully, I don't owe anybody an explanation for anything yeah um but I can tell that there is genuine care yeah and it's not everybody is not just the guy that's like okay kids this is what meth looks like don't be like this fucking guy but there is people who genuinely care you know and I kind of wanted to put their minds at ease there's so much love in my fan base and it's super cool but you always get those motherfuckers that are like fuck this guy you know but it is interesting though when you say that post because in the same interview you're saying, I've never been happier, and people think you're on meth, yes, ma'am.

So, this is kind of nice, it's a kind of a fine line, yeah, it's kind of interesting.

You're like, I have never been happier, and everyone's like, But you're on math, yeah, be like, You can think that I'm happy.

Well, well, and and they can think at the end of the day, they're gonna think whatever they want, even after I was like, Hey guys, I'm not on drugs.

People are like, That's exactly what someone on drugs would say.

Okay, great, okay, whatever.

I said what I, yeah, you tried, and I'm happiest I've ever been.

Not on drugs, like a good beer, like to smoke cigarettes, hanging out.

We'd love it.

Your new album,

Austin.

Yes, by the time this comes out, it will be out.

What is the story behind the album?

The story behind the album is a couple days before tour, we were like, hey, I want to do like

an acoustic project.

So we went and we rented out Henson for a week.

And

we made like eight songs in seven days and crushed half of the record there.

Can I have a brewski?

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Wait, no, you're fine.

Wait, you did eight songs in seven days?

Yes, ma'am.

Is that normal?

Sometimes.

Sometimes it is.

They're not good for the most part.

Whenever we do that, yes, please.

Thank you, Ben.

Bobby.

Sorry.

Fuck.

God damn it.

Ben.

Yeah, Ben.

Ben is

usually grabbing the beers.

But it's Bobby.

But it's Bobby in here.

Hi, Bobby.

Hi, Bobby.

Hi.

Hi.

Camera time.

Yeah, Bobby.

When was your first anal?

Let's talk about your sandwiches.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, guys, check out Bobby's or Bobbo's if you're ever in

Joyzy.

Joy.

Okay, so eight songs, seven days.

Yes, ma'am.

And you said usually that turns out bad, but.

Well, yeah, because you can go and you can make like half a song and never have lyrics or anything like that on there.

But

it was so much fun.

And we had so much fun.

And it was originally supposed to be just me and a guitar.

And then we were like, oh, fuck it.

This song would be bitching with drums on it.

And so we just kept making a whole album.

And we finished.

The whole album was made in like

musically, like recording-wise, like three weeks total.

So it was cool.

How do you want your fans to feel about this album?

I just hope they don't think it sucks.

That's usually the consensus amongst the team.

You're like, does this suck?

And I don't think it sucks.

But it's really cool.

I felt a lot of space.

It was written by me and three other dudes completely.

Well, besides, we had some really super talented guest writers.

And

I wouldn't even call them guest writers, co-writers.

Yeah.

But guests in the studio, for because for the most part, it was just us.

Yeah, I always keep stuff to myself, you know, that you wrote on the toilet, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

Yeah, it's like a very intimate moment for you to write it on the toilet, you and yourself, and then to put it out there.

Well, I actually had him bring a porcelain throne into Henson to cut the vocals as well and the guitar just for perfect accuracy.

I think you can hear a little bit of the shine, a little bit of the twang when you record it.

You wanted it to be genuine.

This is like how I, this is me in my raw form of how I actually do it.

I'm actually going to do that for the next record.

We just did that.

That should be your album cover.

Everyone will know.

Die from the shitter.

No, everyone will know.

It'll just be me on the toilet.

Everyone will know.

Or it's the selfie angle for your fucking album.

It's a selfie.

Everybody's like, oh, this dude's definitely on the shitter, right?

What is your favorite lyric that you wrote?

Ooh.

I call her Shrek because she got a donkey.

It's genius.

It's innovative.

Thank you.

And it's also nostalgic.

It's eye-opening.

It strikes strikes all the right chords.

It really makes you think.

What is that lyric on?

What song?

It's called Socialite.

Oh.

Could you imagine?

Like, it kind of makes you think, like, think, and then like track donkey.

Donkey.

What do you think is going to be the biggest banger?

Do you usually know when something is going to hit with your fans, or you are always surprised which ones become the biggest?

I'm always surprised, I feel.

Like, I can go off what, you know, like management and label and everybody says and stuff.

But

I mean, I just want to make a song that I like.

Yeah.

And I could never,

like, some songs you just know.

And it's like, oh, this is really catchy.

Yeah.

And that usually does it.

But now I'm old.

And I mean, I made an album with me playing guitar on every song and no features.

So I don't know exactly how in touch I am.

But I think there's some great songs on there that I hope people like.

What's your favorite song on the album?

You know that one.

Yeah, that one.

You know that one.

I can already feel it.

I can already hear it.

I really don't.

Fuck.

Top two.

Oh.

Come on.

They're all so different.

You know whatever comes out of your mouth, everyone's going to listen to.

I hope anybody listens at all.

They're going to listen, Coast.

Daddy Gang is going to fucking listen.

Thanks, Daddy.

These people are so loyal.

Daddy Gang is gonna get out there.

They're gonna stream the whole thing, but we need to hear your top two songs.

I'm trying to remember the track list, too.

Oh, I don't want to go.

I'm having so much fun.

I don't want you to go either.

Um, I'm actually getting kicked off, is what's happening.

I'm like, okay, it's in enough shit.

Get the fuck up, proto feet.

This is the first night you shit your fans on stage.

Like, it goes down tonight.

Um, I like green thumb a lot.

I had a lot of fun playing the guitar on that and writing the guitar for that.

And

enough is enough, something real.

I'll just let I can list like the whole track list.

Okay.

But I don't know.

I had so much fun working on those records.

I'm so excited for you.

You're so talented.

It's always such a pleasure to get to sit down with someone and meet them in person.

Because, again, I see things online about you.

I see your pictures and your videos and your amazing dance moves.

But being in your presence, like you're such a soft, sweet guy guy that is clearly so talented beyond words and i just can't thank you enough for taking the time because i know you're on tour and you're so busy and this really meant a lot to me and my fans and your fans so thank you post no thank you very much thank you guys for having me um let's go play beer pong i don't see why not oh wait i have a i have a gift for you what

Okay, so I know you're really happy.

Yes, ma'am.

But we're never perfect.

Yes, ma'am.

So this is merch for you.

Unwell.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

And it's.

Yeah.

Feel that?

Yeah.

Oh, and it's puff print like your nipples.

Oh, it's a set?

It's puff print like my nippies.

It hides it perfectly.

Well, that's actually so funny because we got a gift for you.

No, post.

Oh my god, look at us.

This is so sweet, guys.

Thank you so much.

You're amazing.

Thank you so much.

No, you're fucking amazing.

Oh my god, we did it.

Said she tied lil' money, need a big boy.

Pull up 20 inch blades like I'm Lil Choi.

Now it's everybody flocking, need a decoy.

Shorty mixin' up the vodka with the Lee Coy.

G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon.

All the housewives pullin' up.

I got a lot of toys.

720S pumpin', fallout boy.

You was talking shit in the beginning.

Back when I was feeling unforgiving.

I know I pissed you off to see me winning.

See the igloo in my mouth, and I'll be grinning.

Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me.

Hundred deep when I roll like the army.

Get more bottles, these bottles are lonely.

It's a moment when I show up, got them saying wow.

Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me.

Yeah, your grandma probably knows me.

Get more bottles, these bottles are lonely.

It's a moment when I show up, God, I'm saying wow.

Everywhere I go, catch me on the block like a Mutambo.

750 Lambo in the Utah snow.

Drunk in the front like a shit dumb boy.

Cut the roof off like a nip touch.

Pull up to the house with some big bus.

Turn the kitchen counter to a strip club.

Me and Dre came for the.

When I got quite hard, they all disappeared.

Before I dropped 79 of y'all really here.

Now they always say congratulations to the kid.

And this is not a 40, but I'm pouring out this shit.

Used to have a lot, but I got more now.

Made another hit, cause I got bought now.

Always going for a never pump, fuck down.

Last call, hell, Mary Brett, got touchdown.

Hey,

hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me.

Hundred deep when I roll like the army.

Get my bottles, these bottles are lonely.

It's a moment when I show up, got them saying wow.

Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me.

And your grandma will probably know me.

Get my bottles, these bottles are lonely.

It's a moment when I show up, got them saying wow.

I pulled a little bit of weight.

I thought you were way better.

I'm really wrong, and I love you.

I've won hands.

I've like, like I've been like

I was stupid.

I taste

why I taste rain.

I would be too and I was.

You're doing it in front of folks who's so mad at it.

Like it's all that.

I know.

It's harder to light down.

Oxytocin making it all okay.

When I come back down, it doesn't feel the same

Now I'm sitting around waiting for the world to end all day

Cause I couldn't leave you with the trust

You break me, then I break my rules

Last time was the last time too

It's fucked up, I know but I'm still

I sat at a party smoking in the car.

You

seven nation army, fighting at the ball.

You

tell me that I'm sorry, tell me what I gotta do.

Cause I can't let go,

it's chemical.

No, I can't let go.

It's chemical.

Every time I'm ready to make a change,

you turn around and fuck out all my brains.

I ain't trying to fight fate.

It's too late to say, faith.

I can't get away,

baby, there's no mistakes.

You break me, then I break my rules.

Last time was the last time too.

It's fucked up, I know, but I still

I found a party, smoking in a confusion.

Semination of me, fighting to look for you.

Tell you that I'm sorry, tell me what I got through.

Cause I can't let go,

it's chemical.

No, I can't let go.

It's chemical.

No, I can't let go.

It's chemical.

Tell you that I'm sorry.

Tell me what I gotta do.

No, I can't let go.

It's chemical.

Cheers, mother bucket.

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