Amy Schumer: Pro Athletes, Porn & Pretending to C*m

1h 8m
Join Alex in Brooklyn for an interview with Amy Schumer. Amy opens up about her family going bankrupt as a child, how her mom had an affair with her best friend's dad, and how she has always been hilarious. Amy also reveals the time she let a fan go down on her, her experiences with pro athletes, and how she handles hate online. Enjoy!

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Runtime: 1h 8m

Transcript

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Speaker 4 What is up, Daddy Gang?

Speaker 1 It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Speaker 1 Amy Schumer, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Speaker 2 Thank you so very much, Alex Cooper.

Speaker 1 I am so happy we're finally meeting. Me too.
No, I need to tell you, I was saying this this morning to my friends. I said, okay, have you ever sent a DM and forgot you sent it?

Speaker 1 And then they respond and you're like, wait, what did I send? That was me to you. So I, for context to everyone listening, I sent Amy a DM in 2021.

Speaker 1 I don't even remember who I was at that point in my life. Okay.

Speaker 2 You were not yet born. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I send her basically saying like, you got to come on the show. Like, I love you, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Three and a half years later, I see you saying like, oh my gosh, just saw this. And it was just in the preview.
So I'm like, what the fuck did I say? Like, I'm like, what did I say to this woman?

Speaker 2 Like, were you drunk? No,

Speaker 2 literally.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm like hammered or high.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, Amy.

Speaker 1 And thank God you were like sweet and nice. And you're like, okay, I like it.

Speaker 2 Well, just so you know, both Megan the Stallion and Britney Spears has one of those shady DMs for me sitting in their inbox. So I know the feeling.

Speaker 2 And never has it been read. Never have they been read.
But I, you know, I was so happy to see that.

Speaker 1 What is your angle with Megan the Stallion? What are you trying to get in there for?

Speaker 2 I don't remember. No, that's the thing.
You send them, you know, you're like, you know, you feel connected to someone. And actually, I have met her.

Speaker 2 I had met her at

Speaker 2 like, I think an Oscar thing. Okay.
And when we both won Oscars, I don't know if you in your research came up, but I won an Oscar and so did Megan. Maybe.
I saw that. And

Speaker 2 so I think I just wanted to be like.

Speaker 2 Should we have a friendship? You know, and she, you know, in return has, you know, not followed me. So I respect, I think she's smart.
I think that's a smart move.

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed. And then we'll leave the Britney one to the imagination.

Speaker 2 No, Britney has it. But she mentioned me in her book.

Speaker 2 And god damn, that felt amazing. Street crad.

Speaker 1 Street crad.

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Speaker 1 Here's the thing. There are so many times where I am in the middle of a meeting and I'm like, oh my God, I just remembered that I needed to get this before the weekend.

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Speaker 1 Okay. I'm not a freak.
Like, I'm not a freak fan, but I do love you.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's so nice. Okay, I love you too.

Speaker 2 Okay, good. But

Speaker 2 if I were to have one note,

Speaker 2 this mic is real heavy. Oh, my God.
Do you, do you ever think like, no, I don't care. Look, I'm a stand-up.
Like, I hold a mic. Just roast me.
But this is like an actual weight. No.

Speaker 2 Like, I mean, I want to support the brand. Obviously, I'm honored to be on this show.

Speaker 2 You're

Speaker 2 a sultan.

Speaker 2 But this is a heavy microphone.

Speaker 1 You're exhausted. Yes.
The thing is, is I try.

Speaker 2 And I swim, but I'm like, this is 20 pounds.

Speaker 1 Can I just clear my name for a second?

Speaker 1 I always have mic stands.

Speaker 2 Always.

Speaker 1 You are the exception.

Speaker 2 Because I'm like, I'm sweating and my hands are sweating. But it's fine and I'm honored.

Speaker 1 It's only because this is not my normal studio. We didn't know where to put the mic stands and I didn't want it to cover your face because you look gorgeous.

Speaker 2 No, thank you.

Speaker 1 So you're going to have to buck up.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 And you're going to have to do a little weight training. Yes.
Okay. So shut the fuck up about that.

Speaker 2 Let me engage my core and move on.

Speaker 1 Now let me tell you like a loving story while you engage the core. Yes.
It was the year that Train Wreck came out and I live in Boston.

Speaker 1 I'm in college and I am literally at like what feels like the end of the road. I am so fucking miserable.

Speaker 1 I'm at the worst place in my life what feels like it because like a boy was breaking up with me and I was miserable. My mom flies to Boston and is like, I have to cheer you up.

Speaker 1 It's getting really scary over there. And it is like a random Tuesday and we go to the movie theater and I'm walking around because my mom's like, we got to just see a movie.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, train wreck, like me, like, let's just see it. Like, here we go.
I walk in, I sob the entire movie. And then when I leave, I'm like, oh, I'm a new fucking bitch.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm going to reverse the roles on the men. Fuck this shit.
Let's fucking go.

Speaker 1 And that movie, I know it sounds corny, but like, you didn't know me at that point, but it literally changed my mindset in that moment.

Speaker 2 And it helped me through like a really tough time. I'm still tearing.
No, stop. No, I'm really tearing.
It might be because the mic is so heavy, but I really, it's not that tough.

Speaker 2 That's a dream for someone to say that to me and for you to say that to me. I know, I know, it's like it's hard to give a compliment, and it's hard to take a compliment,

Speaker 2 but I'm taking it right

Speaker 2 in right now. This is close to the Brittany mentioning me in the book, and I'm not, I'm not fucking with you.

Speaker 1 I am honored to be here. Thank you for saying that.
Of course, no, so I'm a huge fan, so thank you for being here. We've been dying off this for now.
No, it's good for quite a while.

Speaker 1 It's good, it's good. Um, okay, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of just random questions to get us started.

Speaker 2 Are you ready? Okay, okay, okay, I'm ready. Okay, ready?

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm ready. Whatever comes to your mind, you're just gonna answer it, right?

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 1 how would your friends describe you in in three words?

Speaker 2 Loyal,

Speaker 2 psychotic,

Speaker 2 funny. Loved.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What is your comfort movie?

Speaker 2 The Birds, Alfred Hitchcock.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 I know. So hack, right?

Speaker 2 But I mean, you know, everybody's a couple of comfort movies, but for some reason, that movie

Speaker 2 gets me. Gets you in your feet.
And I know this is going to be like over when this comes out, but like, I'm so crazy about Wicked right now. Did you see it? I haven't seen it yet.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Everyone's going to be like, Wicked? This was

Speaker 2 what year was this?

Speaker 1 Like it'll be kind of pregnant all like it's the wicked movie.

Speaker 2 But obviously kind of pregnant's like the movie everyone's talking about. Yeah, it's the year.
I just needed to get it off my chest. Another Oscar coming.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
What is the craziest fan interaction you've ever had?

Speaker 2 I guess them eating me out.

Speaker 2 What? Right?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 That would definitely top the chart.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, okay.
You know what? I'm just going to get right into this here. Okay.
Okay. And I've never said this anywhere.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 But when I was sort of at my

Speaker 2 kind of peak, like touring arenas, whatever.

Speaker 2 And I'll say it, because this is where you say it. Were they a professional athlete? Sure.

Speaker 2 Did I

Speaker 2 text them like late at night and they came over, went down on me, and then I said, I'm so tired. I'm so sorry.
And they left? Yes.

Speaker 2 And you know who you are.

Speaker 1 Not the look into the camera.

Speaker 2 And that's happened a couple of times and I'm not proud of it. And I think, like, you know, and

Speaker 2 the ambulance is good for this moment because this is like when I actually get actually canceled. No, but it's all about, you know, you want to be a giving lover and whatever, whatever.

Speaker 2 But at this moment, it was like, you know, some people like will blow a guy and that's the end of the night. So I kind of, you know, did it my way to quote Frank Sinatra.

Speaker 2 First of all, hold on.

Speaker 1 A professional athlete was a fan of yours.

Speaker 2 Why is that so shocking? No, no.

Speaker 1 Sorry. No.

Speaker 2 Why am I saying that?

Speaker 1 It's not shocking.

Speaker 2 When you're young and you're in the spotlight, you, you know, you, you, I mean, look, I know you,

Speaker 2 ma'am.

Speaker 1 Ma'am. No, I'm more saying, like, was he at like a fan event?

Speaker 2 No, I've never, I don't think I've ever been to a fan event. But he was at a show.
He was at a show. He was at a show.

Speaker 1 Can I ask of all the sports, what sport? And then we're moving on. Baseball.
Have you had sex with my ex-boyfriend?

Speaker 2 No. And we didn't have sex.
Oh, right. Babe.
Oh, you're sorry, sorry. You went down on me and then I yawned and was like, it's been a, I mean, that's a moment in Trainwreck, and that's from real life.

Speaker 1 I love that so much for you. No, it's kind of amazing.
That's like a full circle moment. I'm appreciating that story right now.

Speaker 2 That's good for Caller Daddy.

Speaker 1 Thank you for the tea.

Speaker 2 You're welcome. And like, that's not, you know, the most popular move that gets the best response, but that's the truth.

Speaker 1 I kind of feel like that would keep them wanting way more.

Speaker 2 I, that, I, that's happened probably three times in my, in my life when I was in my hay. Yeah, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And, uh,

Speaker 2 you know, one of them was furious, I remember. And

Speaker 2 one of them was like, totally fine with it. And you know what? The baseball player was pretty cool about it.

Speaker 1 Well, because I guess like the furious makes sense because it's like, wow, are you saying I'm that bad? Like you're falling asleep?

Speaker 2 No, I think it's like, I just made you come and now you are kicking me out. And I'm like, oh my God, what does it feel like to be a woman? You know?

Speaker 2 And again, this mic is so heavy.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 I know, but you're young. My bones are old.
There's swims.

Speaker 1 What if you prop it up on the pillow? No. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 We tried it.

Speaker 1 Who would be your celebrity hall pass?

Speaker 2 Hmm. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say either Christian Bale or Beyonce. The range.
Yeah. But I don't think I would get a hall pass.
I would give a hall pass.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't get.

Speaker 2 But I wouldn't get one. No.

Speaker 1 But it's good to like think about it. Like, I think it's even better when it's like a dream and, like, I don't know if you'd actually even want to do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, don't beat your heroes.

Speaker 2 How many can I have? You can have as many as you want. Okay.

Speaker 1 Method, man?

Speaker 2 Can I get my phone out? No.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yes.
Yes. And he knows, and he knows, and he's his beautiful wife and whatever.
And he's like, so doesn't

Speaker 2 give a shit. Yeah.
But why did he say something to you? No.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 you know, now that you say that.

Speaker 2 Wait, can I I ask who yours is?

Speaker 1 Specifically, as the pirate, Johnny Depp. Like, as

Speaker 1 the pirate.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm shocked. With the

Speaker 1 makeup. I want the makeup.

Speaker 2 Jewelries. The hair.
Yeah. I want the little cloak, like the little skirt.
Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Get those rings.

Speaker 1 What is your most embarrassing interaction in Hollywood?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. So many.
So many. So many, so many.

Speaker 2 Okay. This is a long time ago, but I was at an Equinox flex.
Get it.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Alec Baldwin was there. This is, this is 25 years ago.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he was getting water. And I was behind him at the water fountain.
And I was like, and I quoted Glen Gary, Glenn Ross, and I said, water is for closers.

Speaker 2 And I should have killed myself instantly.

Speaker 2 I don't remember. Like, I blacked out because it was so stupid.
I don't know if he acknowledged me, but I am sorry.

Speaker 1 Did you ever see him again?

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes.
He's been nothing but really nice to me.

Speaker 1 Did he remember that moment or no?

Speaker 2 I don't think so. He just, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know.
I can't remember anything. Like, do you do, you do drugs?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, I did, but not anymore.

Speaker 2 Okay, right. Good.
Good. No, no, I've never done cocaine.
I've never done ecstasy.

Speaker 1 You've never done cocaine?

Speaker 2 Never cocaine, never ecstasy. Mushrooms and weed.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 2 I'm not like a mushroom girl. You're not?

Speaker 1 I don't know if I need, like, I'm worried it's going to like affect my brain. Like in the morning, I'm like, that's smart.

Speaker 2 Okay, no, that's good because, like, it has. I'm like, I won't remember what we talked about today.

Speaker 1 You're not with us anymore.

Speaker 2 No, I am no longer with you. But at least you're still funny.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Um, what is the craziest rumor you've ever heard about yourself?

Speaker 2 Um, oh god, so many. Uh,

Speaker 2 like, you know, there's so much out there, but but about me, oh, well, this is fun.

Speaker 2 Um, at my wedding, People Magazine reported some celebrities who were there and they

Speaker 2 said that Jennifer Aniston was there and she was not there. But my mom, who is 75,

Speaker 2 said, I think what happened was

Speaker 2 from behind, I look exactly like Jennifer Aniston. And I'm like, you just had knee surgery and you're in your mid-70s, you know, but but I just said, oh, okay.
No mom. So that was, yeah.

Speaker 1 That tells me a lot about your mom.

Speaker 2 That does tell you a lot about my mom

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 we love your mom mom i love a little deluge

Speaker 2 i mean i've got it obviously obvious i am so confused yeah this is good um okay what is what is one of your biggest pet peeves okay this is this is really controversial oh sitting why are you looking away from because i i'm i'm i'm already regretting saying it.

Speaker 2 Just go. And it's not really even a thing.
Okay. It's not even a pet peeve.

Speaker 2 My pet peeve

Speaker 2 is men,

Speaker 2 but also,

Speaker 2 but also,

Speaker 2 and I already said men, right? Yeah, you said men. Okay, I said men.
My other, my other, this is kind of like a fun little, not really a pet. Okay.
Okay, I have a couple now that I'm going.

Speaker 2 Pickleball annoys me.

Speaker 1 Have you ever played? No. Me ether.

Speaker 2 I'm just hating from a distance. Meet.
So loud. And if you can vape while you're playing the sport, is it a sport? And

Speaker 2 I don't like how

Speaker 2 a lot of people and i don't know if you do this so i'm so sorry it just hit me okay

Speaker 2 the way that i think especially people i don't know both coasts say it have turned the word and

Speaker 2 into like a 10 syllable word like eon

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 and i'm like

Speaker 1 what okay i definitely don't do that no but do you know you know what i mean i say and yeah and like and let's keep it fucking right right

Speaker 1 but and

Speaker 2 it starts E. They go, Ian.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck are you hanging out with?

Speaker 2 No, you're going to notice it now. You're going to notice it now.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever noticed that.

Speaker 2 You're going to listen back to things.

Speaker 2 So we were at the store. Ian.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know what you're talking about. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. When you put it in the context of that, done.

Speaker 1 Okay, I also agree with all of those things and you haven't insulted me yet. So this is good.
Which I'm fine if you roast me at some point in this interview. Don't hold back.

Speaker 1 But I hate pickleball too. Actually, I've never played it, so I can't say that.

Speaker 2 I've never played it either. Well, that doesn't mean we we can't hate it.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 That doesn't mean. Right.
Just play tennis. Everyone's just so smug and they've got their racket and they're like, and they look so happy.
Maybe that's what it is.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's just the joy that they're feeling. Yeah, I think.
And I'll never feel that joy. So, I mean, I guess that's what it's really about.

Speaker 1 If you play, let me know and I'll like go for the first time with you.

Speaker 2 Okay, great. No, but I'll like tear a meniscus or something.
And I. Like, I just, like, when people are like, you just hear these people, like, I got a pickleball injury.

Speaker 2 And you're like, that's it loser absolutely get on a boat and leave and guess who plays pickleball who my mom

Speaker 2 jennifer aniston

Speaker 1 jennifer aniston plays pickleball jennifer aniston you heard it here first what is the greatest length you've gone to get out of plans oh this is fun

Speaker 2 this is fun so my dad is ms he's in a wheelchair okay um

Speaker 2 what was the question no i'm just kidding no i'm just kidding so but i love that you're you're such a good interviewer may I give a compliment? Oh, sure. Of course.
You're a great interviewer.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. We haven't even gotten into it yet.
No, no, no. I'm not literally.
Based on today. Okay.
Not based on today.

Speaker 2 Wait, let me just get some of the hand sweat.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 But wait, what was I talking about? Okay, so my dad. Your dad.
So my dad. So I was starting to date this comedian.
Okay. I don't know if he still does comedy, but this is.
you know, 20 years ago.

Speaker 2 And we were supposed to work a weekend together at this club, like in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 2 And I was like, and the way he like kissed me, like he like, it was like soap opera, like he like had a real moment with me, you know, like slowly. And I was like, I want to go home.

Speaker 2 And so I pretended like I didn't feel well. And then in the morning, I texted my mom at like 5 a.m.
And I was like, in an hour, call me and tell me that dad's in the hospital.

Speaker 2 And so I'm laying next to this guy.

Speaker 2 And so my mom,

Speaker 2 who is a real gangster, calls me, goes, Your dad's in the hospital. And the guy's still sleeping.
And I'm trying to cry.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm like, oh my God, what? You know, I have to leave on a plane, you know?

Speaker 2 So I think that's the biggest lie. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Do you ever feel guilty about like doing a lie when it has to do with actual illness? Like, I think I like lied a couple times about my grandma dying. And I like, they're like, again,

Speaker 1 I was one of those people for a while, but it was to like each different man. So I was like, this isn't like making headway.
Like, it's to different people.

Speaker 2 But then I i started to be like oh fuck like someone's gonna die because i keep saying someone's fucking dying i know but whatever um yeah but no my dad lives on he will not die yeah

Speaker 2 no he is very much with us but he did tell me the other day that he what he wants done with his ashes oh and um i don't remember i need to write it down you know

Speaker 2 but this looks like a nice place is that an urn no no no but what he said was i just want to be with you and i'm like i don't think i can commit to eternity with my dad right now, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that's like a little much, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know, I want to see what my sister's up to, like, I want to see what everybody else is doing, your husband, yeah, like, what?

Speaker 2 I'm just gonna be with my dad forever, like, great, me and my dad, like, that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you can kind of do one of those where you're like, absolutely, and you look him in the eyes, and then once he's gone, flush his ashes right into the sea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll put him somewhere nice. Do you think the people that wear like ashes like around their neck are a little

Speaker 2 or do you do that? I don't wear jewelry at all because it like I just feel weird. It looks weird on me.
What? I don't know. It just looks weird on me.
Yeah, I'm nothing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you say I'm nothing?

Speaker 2 I'm nothing. I have no,

Speaker 2 I am not bejeweled anywhere.

Speaker 1 Not even an earring?

Speaker 2 No. I let my holes close, including my vagina.
Gone.

Speaker 1 But the asshole, ready to go.

Speaker 2 Really ready.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're currently in Brooklyn in a random person's house. I like literally have no idea where we are.
Yeah. So they'll come in at any moment and kick us out.

Speaker 1 But until then, what would you say is the most New York quality about you?

Speaker 2 I think that I

Speaker 2 like don't give a fuck. And that like, just in terms of like on the subway or whatever, I'll be like, move in, you know.

Speaker 2 Like this thing that like if you if it's just in you and it's like I should be like trying to keep a low pro. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you know, I just I can't and I'll just get you know involved in anything that goes on and that's what's nice about New York is like that especially public transportation everybody's like together the community aspect yeah yeah but yeah we does anyone ever be like fuck you Amy Schumer like get the fuck off like what yeah no I mean yes but no like you know no no not really I feel like I'm like anonymous here in New York like no one cares and they're expecting to see you and they're almost like mad that it's you they're like, This is a famous person we're running into,

Speaker 2 you know. Can we get Rihanna? What the fuck?

Speaker 2 True, they expect to see me. They're like, Where were you? We went to the 30 Rock today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, okay, you grew up in the city, but you were born in Long Island?

Speaker 2 No, I was born in the city, and then I grew up on Long Island. Okay, yeah, yeah, backwards.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Um, how would you have described yourself as a kid?

Speaker 2 I would say

Speaker 2 I think I'm exactly the same. Uh, what, what, what, what is, what, what am I now?

Speaker 2 I would say, like my friends, loyal, psychotic, and funny. You were always psychotic.
I was always psychotic. I was always just trying to make myself laugh.
Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 2 You know, like have a good time. I mean, and I would want to make my friends laugh and other people, but it was really about, I think, just trying to,

Speaker 2 you know, combat boredom and just like have fun. Completely.
Yeah. Entertain myself.

Speaker 1 I need to picture you like in school, like little Amy.

Speaker 2 Lil Amy was voted the class clown.

Speaker 1 Classic.

Speaker 2 and teacher's worst nightmare uh but i was

Speaker 2 i played volleyball okay so i was pretty serious about volleyball so i wasn't like doing theater but i did start plays when i was five but then i i got real into volleyball and you're soccer right i you did your research don't you like when someone's like i guess i looked at wikipedia and feels like a hero wait did you want to be like an actress growing up or did you want to be like a pro-volley well i was like actress but i got really into volleyball and then i had a bad surfing accident.

Speaker 2 Oh. And so I was taken out for the season.
And I, I, I don't know if I could have played D1, but I was definitely going to play in college. I'm going somewhere.
Somewhere.

Speaker 2 But I couldn't, you couldn't play volleyball and do the plays.

Speaker 1 Then you leaned into theater.

Speaker 2 Majored in theater.

Speaker 1 Okay. What was the most unhinged thing you did at school? Like, you're the class con, like, you're fucking shit up.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. I mean, I ran for,

Speaker 2 I believe I ran for president of student council as a freshman. That'll

Speaker 2 put a target on your back. Just to make a speech.

Speaker 2 But I could be getting it wrong. It might have been junior high, but I believe it was, I believe it was, I believe it was high school.
And I just, I made a speech and it was all lies.

Speaker 2 I talked about growing up on a farm in Iowa. I would, you know, if there was a bake sale, I would bring in a ton of toast, you know, and like have a sign, like toast.

Speaker 2 Like I just was an idiot and just. like thought I was so funny.

Speaker 1 Wait, that the confidence it takes, if it was freshman year to go for president and seniors are looking at you like you fucking piece of shit back up.

Speaker 1 Like, where did you get confidence from like that?

Speaker 2 I know. I don't know.
I really think my parents lied to me so much. And I just believed it.
And then when I found out they were lying, it was too late.

Speaker 2 And I had this like inner confidence and it was just too late.

Speaker 1 It couldn't be shaken. It couldn't.
Wait, are either of your parents funny? Yeah.

Speaker 2 My dad, they're both funny. My dad's really funny.
My mom is like, is funny

Speaker 2 too. In a good way.

Speaker 2 yeah I say that in a good way yeah yeah yeah no they're they're both really funny he's he's hilarious how would you have described your social life so you're funny like did people like the funny kid or were you like alienated no friends I was cool

Speaker 2 sorry no I was I was cool I like things weren't like easy I had major trauma and stuff when I was like 12, you know, which I'm totally happy to talk about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I know your life kind of flipped upside down around like 10.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. my dad got ms and we went bankrupt like we had money we were comfortable yeah and then we were like poor

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 my parents got a divorce and my mom started dating my friend's father like it was a whole nightmare

Speaker 2 and i

Speaker 2 you know i i really

Speaker 2 I really was traumatized and didn't think I was traumatized, you know, of course. And then no, it was really hard, but I still had a boyfriend, I was still

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 making jokes and,

Speaker 2 you know, going out and popular and that kind of shit.

Speaker 1 To go from like being comfortable to then all of a sudden having your parents go bankrupt, do you remember that conversation? Like, how did you find out?

Speaker 1 Because usually that's an overnight thing, right?

Speaker 2 Where everyone's like, um, it was overnight from what I remember. It was like,

Speaker 2 um,

Speaker 2 I mean, we went from like living in

Speaker 2 what I would consider like a mansion,

Speaker 2 you know, by real housewives standards. Not, not decorated well or anything, but a big house with a pool and whatever, to a

Speaker 2 like,

Speaker 2 you know, maybe two bedroom tiny home

Speaker 2 or like we moved every year and we lived, we would live in someone's basement or someone's attic and that kind of stuff. And what happened? Like, did you?

Speaker 2 Well, it was like, I really feel like that part of it was all good. And so, you know, I can make fun of my mom and whatever, but I never, you know, I had, I always had like,

Speaker 2 this sounds bad, but I was going to say, we always like had somewhere to live. We always had food.

Speaker 2 I was never like embarrassed of my outfit and like, you know, because also my friends didn't have any money, which was nice. Like, none of us were dressed well.

Speaker 2 None of us had a nice car or a car, you know. It was, so there was no like class distinction or anything.
And I was just like, you know, wanted,

Speaker 2 I just, my mom says that I was embarrassed of our new house, like that I asked the school bus, like I, I don't know, something where I was like, can you drop me off somewhere else?

Speaker 2 I don't remember that, but I don't remember the loss of money being anything that I really felt.

Speaker 1 Just like the relocation. Yeah.
Do you remember how it was explained to you? Like how your parents lost all the money?

Speaker 2 I don't remember that. I think it's just, it's, you know,

Speaker 2 like trying to, the revisionist history that each of my parents give, like, I really can't tell what's true.

Speaker 1 Of course, you know, that is like so disorienting when you become an adult because you're like,

Speaker 1 which one of you is a compulsive liar? Right. And am I going to do that to my children one day? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, like, are we all just completely remembering things in the way that allowed us to just move on?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're right. It's, it's, it's really disorienting and

Speaker 2 destabilizing because you're just like, is any of what I was told true? I don't at all know.

Speaker 2 I don't feel like I know anything

Speaker 2 about where,

Speaker 2 about my actual past.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you? Because I know you mentioned it earlier, like the,

Speaker 1 your mom sounds amazing. Don't you love the preface? Don't you love when like live for her?

Speaker 2 She's the greatest. Jennifer.

Speaker 1 Go, Jen. I will say it's so funny having like public platforms because my parents are always like, we love how you just like talk about us.
And I'm like, well, it's my fucking life. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I love the no socks. Wait, did you wear no socks with those shoes?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, I live really close to here, and then I'll just like go home and like, you know,

Speaker 2 and I wanted to show off my, no, my, my feet are really bummer right now.

Speaker 1 You don't wear socks with shoes? No, I usually do.

Speaker 1 I usually do. What happened this morning?

Speaker 2 I just, um,

Speaker 2 I mean, I just like came over here. It took 13 minutes in a car, you know?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 no socks.

Speaker 1 Do you do that often?

Speaker 2 If it's like, I'm just going going to be out for a little bit. Yeah.
Well, how does that strike you? Like, is that, are you like, your feet are cold?

Speaker 1 Or one feet

Speaker 2 is a nude foot. Like, do you not even have nail polish on there? No, look at my nails.
Okay. Look at my, look at like, okay.

Speaker 2 Your hand is shaking. My hand is shaking.

Speaker 1 She's literally exhausted, you guys, from holding the mic.

Speaker 2 Panting.

Speaker 1 In fact, your mother.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Speaker 1 So, your mom had an affair with your best friend's dad. Right.
How was that told to you?

Speaker 2 It was told to me like, um,

Speaker 2 we're in love. I'm for the first time in love with someone.
Um, I've, I realize I've never been in love before.

Speaker 2 And, um,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 and I

Speaker 2 was like conditioned to be like,

Speaker 2 well, I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 2 Go, girl. You deserve happiness.
I love you so much. Like, you know, just kind of, you know, brainwash to worship your

Speaker 2 parent, your mom, and, um, and vilify my dad. And so I was just kind of like, I got you, you know?

Speaker 1 Did you stay friends with that friend?

Speaker 2 We tried, but no.

Speaker 1 Did they end up like living together ever? Like your mom and the guy? Like, did it ever go viral?

Speaker 2 They, they were

Speaker 2 viral.

Speaker 2 They were together, I think, for like two months. Oh, oh, quick.
Yeah. Like, almost destroy, like, a family.
And then, like,

Speaker 2 you know, I met someone new and like, and now I really know what love is. Like 10 times.
God bless her. Love.
She is so self-aware.

Speaker 2 And we are in a good place. Love.
But yeah. And you know what? And I really like judged her.

Speaker 2 And when I, when I was 30, because I kept crazy journals, I read back from, you know, from 12 to 21, I kept these journals.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, oh my God, this woman, you know, and then, but now that I'm a mom and I'm around the age she was, I'm like, look, you don't know. I know.

Speaker 2 Okay, like there's a lot of fucked up shit that goes on. Yeah, she kept a roof over our heads.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 I also feel like when you get to that age, like again, like they're told such different things because you don't know really what's going on behind the scenes and your mom and your dad's relationship and all these things.

Speaker 1 And now that you're like married and you have a child, you're like, oh, I'm seeing it a little bit more clearly.

Speaker 2 Not that you would do that, but it puts the unless one of my son's like friends has a dad that's like at all, even a little interested.

Speaker 1 Then we're fucking popping over.

Speaker 2 Go.

Speaker 1 Are you someone that typically handles bad news well? Like, do you like blackout? Are you people pleasing? Are you like.

Speaker 2 I handle it. I handle it well.
I handle like kind of emergencies and that kind of stuff. Like I stay very chill.
Just know that everything you're asking me in my mind, I'm like, and you?

Speaker 1 And you. You're not asking me a fucking question today.
This is about you. We only got a certain amount of time.
Like, we are focused on Amy.

Speaker 2 Is someone coming in here after me?

Speaker 1 No. Oh, my God.
I only do one basically like a week. I gotta be, I gotta be lubed up for you.

Speaker 2 You gotta wear my beauty reps for you.

Speaker 1 You're not like on the casting couch, and we're not rotating this shit. It's you and you.

Speaker 2 Did you look up my favorite porn? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now I feel attacked.

Speaker 1 That's your favorite porn.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, but I had a phase with it. Sure.

Speaker 1 Oh, you did? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 2 What's your favorite porn uh well the thing is and i was hoping this would come up yeah i figured um

Speaker 2 i i feel like i can't say it because you know a lot of porn is like from real life situations that go awry and then and then i'm getting a massage or i'm in a car or i'm whatever and i don't want like the driver or the you know i don't want them you know you have to live your real life yeah so

Speaker 2 um so you know i'll tell you later okay yeah you don't want anyone to get the right idea is podcast porn a thing They should make that where it's like you're like, buh, buh, buh, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, Amy, give me that foot.

Speaker 1 Give me your bear.

Speaker 1 You start massaging your foot mid-interview.

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Speaker 1 I love it.

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Speaker 1 You are one of the most successful women, obviously, in comedy. When were you like, I'm turning this shit into a fucking career?

Speaker 2 Let's go. Right.
I, well, I didn't start sale until after college. I was 23.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 2 did not even think about the possibility of making a living from it. But the first time

Speaker 2 I got a college gig, and they were like, we're paying you $800 for one hour. And I ran

Speaker 2 around my apartment,

Speaker 2 like laps around my apartment. Like, it's like the best feeling I've ever felt.
I was like, Will I feel this good if I ever have a baby? Um,

Speaker 2 and to someone who's had a baby, no, no, okay,

Speaker 2 and I was like, Oh my god, for an hour, $800?

Speaker 2 It was a gig. It was so far upstate.
Colleges pay well,

Speaker 2 and it was so far upstate in New York that it was like you flew into Canada and just no one else wanted to do it. So I got it.
And

Speaker 2 yeah, and then I was like, oh my God, if I can just make a living doing this, that's all I want. But then, you know, you, you start, you get there and you go, what's next? What's next? What's next?

Speaker 2 What's next?

Speaker 2 And so,

Speaker 2 yeah. And then, like, you know, I really want to try and make a lot of money.

Speaker 1 We, after the roast of Charlie Sheen, I'm like, that was like your, obviously, like a huge moment. That was big.
On your Wikipedia, at least, that's what it reads.

Speaker 2 How often?

Speaker 2 Walters is back.

Speaker 2 Babs is here.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking dead.

Speaker 1 How often are you using your roasting skills? Like, are you someone like fucking roasting your friends?

Speaker 2 Yeah, like my, yeah, your best friends. Like, that's all you do.
We just trash each other the whole time.

Speaker 2 But yeah, my friends. Yeah.
But really, like, I wouldn't do that to an audience again. I wouldn't do a roast again.
Why?

Speaker 2 I just was young and like didn't realize that people's feelings really get hurt.

Speaker 2 Ooh, you know, I mean, that's so, that sounds so stupid, but it was like, you know, and especially when you're starting out, you just think, okay, these people are so famous.

Speaker 2 I'm a completely unknown comedian. Who cares what I say? But then, you know, like, oh, that probably really did hurt that person's feelings or something.

Speaker 1 You think, well, I know it hurts people's feelings, but I also feel like there's been like a random rise again.

Speaker 1 And like, the Netflix specials are roast and people are roasting and people are like liking it.

Speaker 2 Like, obviously, we saw Nikki Glazer had like a huge moment because people were like oh my god like keep fucking roasting oh my god she killed no I love watching roasts and they're so funny I just don't like I couldn't do it because

Speaker 2 I know I absolutely go for like the jugular bring a gun to a knife fight but also um

Speaker 2 I don't know like I just feel and with the audience I wouldn't you know, I used to be like, if you're going to like heckle me or something, like you're going to be handed your ass.

Speaker 2 And now I'm like, it's just better to diffuse it yeah and and you know i i think just from therapy and maybe becoming a mom you're like i kind of want like peace yeah like i i don't i will not feel better if i hurt you but you're good at it good to know it's in your arsenal like oh but but hold on with my husband if we're talking about other people like you know you of course

Speaker 2 every night

Speaker 2 the worst people in the whole world I wish I could like be a fly on the wall.

Speaker 2 Disgusting human beings.

Speaker 1 Isn't it the best where you're like, no, I am a good person, but the shit I say with my husband. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 It's so, yeah. I mean, that's, I think that's why we, I think that's why we click so much.
It's just the evil

Speaker 1 lurking beneath. Obviously, comedy is like such a male-dominated industry, not to get too fucking deep here.

Speaker 2 Oh, whatever. They're all male-dominated industries.
Every single one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're talking about comedy today, but any other industry that you pick up, yes, it is male-dominated at all times. But yours happens to be comedy.

Speaker 1 So we're going to talk about the men in that industry. Yes.

Speaker 1 Did you ever have an experience like that was so obvious to you where you were like, wow, I'm literally not being taken as seriously because I don't have a dick.

Speaker 2 I would say only every single day,

Speaker 2 all day,

Speaker 2 every moment of every single day,

Speaker 2 every day. Yeah.
All day. Wow.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yes.
Yes. It's so sad.

Speaker 2 It is sad. And I would love to say something different, but the only thing to do is

Speaker 2 be in the highest position of power

Speaker 2 and call the shots. Because the second

Speaker 2 you're in somebody else's,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 I was almost going to say ballroom. I'm like, I don't know.
Why are you in a ballroom?

Speaker 2 But it's just if you're not at the, and even when you are

Speaker 2 at the top of the food chain,

Speaker 2 it's still

Speaker 2 there's no relief. And, and,

Speaker 2 um,

Speaker 2 I, I've, and any woman that you think might have it different does not.

Speaker 1 At all.

Speaker 2 And, at no point ever.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's, there's like some Gloria Steinem quote. Oh, I love her.
Yeah. It's like, any woman who'd like, I'm going to butcher it, but like, who decides to, you know,

Speaker 2 live

Speaker 2 an interesting life or something will be treated as a cruel joke. And she'll need her sisterhood.
And I'm sorry because I butchered it, but no, no, no, the concept.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 2 And I wish it wasn't like that. And I, god damn, I wish it wasn't like that.

Speaker 1 No, it is like, it's, I appreciate you saying that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 As sad as it is. You're like every day, every waking minute of my fucking life.
Like, I would have been.

Speaker 2 Like one time a promoter, but I'm like, no, every second of every day, every set, every everything.

Speaker 1 And how sad that like we are in these privileged positions. And I'm like, wow, like I'm like a privileged white woman and I fucking feel it all the time.
Like, can you?

Speaker 2 Everyone just thinks that women

Speaker 2 at, at any point, might lose it. And they're just waiting for you.

Speaker 2 So every day, it's like memento. You have to like start over

Speaker 2 and remind everyone that you're in your position for a reason every day.

Speaker 2 Every day. And I just want to say this

Speaker 2 since you asked.

Speaker 2 Every year.

Speaker 2 You're in like a chain, like a WhatsApp chat or a text chain with the other

Speaker 2 moms in class. I mean, without the other parents,

Speaker 2 and then they pick, they designate class moms, you know, they go like, and they, and they haven't changed it to BPC, they haven't made it to class parents, okay, class mom, it's class moms because the moms are the ones handling shit and communicating, and we text and we never, and then once in a while, like a dad will pop in there and we'll be like, Rick, are you lost?

Speaker 2 You know, like the moms are really getting things done, right?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I just like think, like, I want people at home to imagine,

Speaker 2 like, imagine if your dad one year was in charge of planning your birthday party. I wouldn't have had one.
Okay. Your dad is like, I'm going to handle it this year.
Okay. Any dad is like, I got it.

Speaker 2 And or anything, or planned anything.

Speaker 1 They like communicate.

Speaker 2 They can't.

Speaker 2 And I think this is, and men are in charge of the world. It's terrible.
The world. And that's why we're in so many wars.
I think

Speaker 2 that it's not even on purpose. I think probably these men were probably just trying to plan a birthday party.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Someone quote that. That's going to be like on the internet.
No, like, no, you're right. You know what I'm saying? So it's so true.

Speaker 1 And it's really, I appreciate you saying this because I was going to ask you that today because obviously, like, the state of our world, we don't need to get into it because it's like we would be here for 19 hours and we would start crying.

Speaker 1 Yes, right. literally.

Speaker 1 But I think especially as women, it's interesting because I've had people ask me like advice and in some capacity, I try as fucking hard as I can, but I'm also like, like I mentioned earlier, we're privileged.

Speaker 1 And on top of that, like it literally hasn't gotten that much better.

Speaker 1 If anything, it's like people do it like sneakier around me, but I'm still experienced, like misogynistic fucks that are like essentially criticizing me for XYZ

Speaker 1 or saying stuff about like, oh, if she, if she ever talked about sex, then she's just like forever a whore. Like, I feel like at one point, people really tried to pin you as just like a sex comic.

Speaker 2 Every woman is like a whore.

Speaker 2 What woman like steps out of into the spotlight and is not just like, you're a whore

Speaker 2 and you're a whore.

Speaker 1 It's just the level of whoriness. But why do you think men are so frustrated when women talk about sex?

Speaker 2 I think they're afraid of women and they're afraid.

Speaker 2 I really do. I think, I think,

Speaker 2 I think men are terrified of women. I think they're, it goes back to how they feel about their moms.
I think they feel guilty

Speaker 2 about their mom. I mean, we all feel guilty about our moms.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 just scared at everything we've ever seen, all the old movies, all the books, all the, you know, it's like, it's all from the guy's point of view.

Speaker 2 It's all the male gaze, the slow pan up from her heel. And it's just starting to get better.
And so if I were to say to Gloria Stein, I'm like, what the hell?

Speaker 2 She'd be like, it's so much better than it was. But what it was, was that not that long ago, you needed, you know, your husband to get a credit card.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we couldn't vote. And like, you know, here we are.
And here we are.

Speaker 1 And here we are.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Losing rights by the day.

Speaker 1 In your dating life,

Speaker 1 did you ever feel like because you were in the beginning so open about talking about sex, did you ever feel like guys had specific expectations of you if you were going to hook up with them because of how open you were about bedroom stuff?

Speaker 2 That's a good question. I don't think they did.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 think they could tell I was full of shit.

Speaker 2 You know, I remember in college, I would kind of try to talk a big game and be like really confident, like, you know, May West or maybe a more up-to-date reference.

Speaker 2 And then we would, like, I would go home with them. I remember I went home with this guy one time and he had like, I don't know, like pit bulls or Doverman pinch.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 He had these big dogs and he was like, just, I think he had like an ankle bracelet on, you know, like he was on parole or something.

Speaker 2 And like, we were, and we're like kissing and like, we're like in the laundry room of my dorm. And it was like, it just all happened so quick.
And I was like naked. And,

Speaker 2 and I was like, I am. in way over my head.
I am not this experienced sexually. I have been completely bullshitting this guy, trying to like act like I know something.

Speaker 2 And yeah, I still, but no, nobody ever, yeah, he knew I was full of shit too. He probably just wanted to.

Speaker 1 Those are the worst moments where you're there and you're like, wait, I was fluffing. I don't actually like this.
Like, I was like trying to say a big game and, like, please stop.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm actually super vulnerable and scared of your penis.

Speaker 2 Terrified.

Speaker 1 Behind closed doors, like in your 20s and 30s, how did you, like, what was your relationship to your sex and your body?

Speaker 2 I, 20s and 30s,

Speaker 2 I think,

Speaker 2 like, I remember

Speaker 2 the first time

Speaker 2 when I was a teenager and my first boyfriend was like fingering me or something. And I was like wet and I was really embarrassed.
And I thought it was a bad thing.

Speaker 2 So I kept going to the bathroom and like wiping it up. You know, I had no idea.
And

Speaker 2 then in college, I think I was so drunk all the time.

Speaker 2 Like, I, I just, I feel like my self-esteem was super low because I went to Towson University and like, that was like number one for Playboy for Hottest Women that year. And are you serious?

Speaker 2 So I was just like an actual troll with like the physique of Brian Cox. And I was like, you know, like, I just look like an MMA fighter.
And, you know, I'd have to wait.

Speaker 2 You know, like, I would black out.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 so I, you know, I didn't even think about org, like, trying to have an orgasm probably until I was,

Speaker 2 I probably didn't have the confidence to, to try and. have the the guy make me come until I was like in my 30s.

Speaker 1 Which I think is like probably more normal than not. Like, I'm telling you, there are so many women that messaged me and are like, I literally have not, I know, I don't feel anything.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, it's because like half of the time when you go to have sex for the first time, the guy is enjoying it. No woman is having an orgasm the first time or second time they're having sex.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't know what you're doing. So, I think that's like a normal thing to say.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 have never come from penetration, ma'am.

Speaker 2 It's a scary thing to say out loud.

Speaker 1 No, it's not.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's scary because nobody talks about it, you know, because we're all like, you know, getting an Oscar,

Speaker 2 but getting an Oscar. But no, I, I, you know, I've had generous partners who understand like that, you know, I need to orgasm first.

Speaker 2 And I know you subscribe to that 100% on your Wikipedia. It says to make her come.
Is that the third line or the fifth?

Speaker 1 Which one was that again? No, listen, I get it. Like, I think in the early days of my show, I used to talk so openly, like over the top openly, that maybe it made some people uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 But it was like almost like trying to go above and beyond to normalize it for women because it's not normalized for women. Right.

Speaker 1 So I appreciate you saying that because I think there's so many women that are going to listen to this. Not that you need to be like the advocate for like no coming through penetration, but it's.

Speaker 2 Well, it makes people really mad.

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 2 It makes people, well, I mean, not about me, but like, oh, shoot, there was this documentary about this woman who had, um,

Speaker 2 uh, she was doing all these studies and was like,

Speaker 2 shoot, do you have an information person? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we can Google the height report.

Speaker 2 The height report or the kite report. The kite report.

Speaker 1 The height or the kite. Very different, but could be the height report.

Speaker 2 The kite report. The height report.
And she was like, she was reporting on women's real sexual experiences and like giving feedback. And she was like completely, of course, shunned and

Speaker 2 had to like move to Europe, which is what we do with all of our famous shunned people.

Speaker 1 Classic.

Speaker 2 just like, do you pull your dick out when no one wants that? Go to Europe.

Speaker 1 No, I appreciate you saying that. I think there's a lot of people that have experienced that, and I am absolutely not coming every time whatsoever from penetration, but my vibrator does the trick.

Speaker 1 God bless. God bless.

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Speaker 1 okay when do you feel your most confident on stage

Speaker 2 doing stand-up

Speaker 2 I think that's amazing is it yeah you feel your most what if I was like as a mom no I'm like

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 um, yeah, because I'm like, you know, it's like you're playing a little bit of a part, you know, even though my like stage persona is pretty close to who I am. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's still like you're in charge and empowered and, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 When obviously, like, I think every, again, woman in the industry, I'm not saying men don't experience it, but women, obviously, like, tenfold.

Speaker 1 Like, there's so much conversation about the way we look and who we are and our bodies and all of the conversations.

Speaker 1 And people feel so inclined to be like, I have so many thoughts about it, which is fucking insane.

Speaker 1 Um, was there ever a point around like the conversation around like how you looked like impacted your self-worth?

Speaker 2 I mean, it hurts to have a lot of hate thrown at you from the internet, it doesn't feel good.

Speaker 2 I was definitely coming up in comedy when it was, you know, the height of like people on the internet, like letting you know, giving giving me feedback. Um,

Speaker 2 yeah, and

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 2 I don't know, I have always,

Speaker 2 I have always thought,

Speaker 2 I've always felt hot.

Speaker 2 I've got to say it, I've always felt hot. And then you have moments where, you know, you look in the mirror and you're like, I'm Shrek.

Speaker 2 And then, but like, it's like, it's like I have a little secret that I'm like, I'm secretly hot. You know what I mean? And I've always had that.
And I don't know. I'm 43.
I'll see. We'll check in.

Speaker 2 I think that's in a couple years when we're both living in Europe. Yeah, yeah, true.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 This interview, like, everyone's like, get the fuck out. No, I think that's like really great to hear because

Speaker 1 you can almost see when specific women that are public figures, because those are the only people we get to watch, unless you're like staring at your neighbor like a freak.

Speaker 1 You can tell when someone's going through it. You can tell when like everyone is picking her part.
Everyone is, and I'm always like, God damn, this is not natural. I wonder how she's doing.

Speaker 1 So it's nice to hear that you're like, I'm fucking hot, bitch.

Speaker 2 I like, I believe that I'm hot. You are.
When was going through

Speaker 2 i guess it was like a year ago and the internet really came for me after doing a bunch of press

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 and i was like okay everybody like relax but then i was like

Speaker 2 but but then like doctors were chiming in in the comments and they were like no no we think you like something's really up like your face looks so crazy that we think something's up and i'm like

Speaker 2 i'm like wait i'm getting trolled by doctors you know and they were like we think you have something something called Cushing and it's like about spiking cortisol, like about, you know, cortisol levels and, you know,

Speaker 2 steroids, you know, injection, whatever. And I was like, wait, okay.
I was like, fuck off. And then I was like, wait, I have been getting steroid injections

Speaker 2 for my

Speaker 2 in my scars.

Speaker 2 God, here, you know, you're, everybody in your audience is going to want to fuck me.

Speaker 2 I had a breast reduction, you know, C-section, whatever. And I'm like, you know, and so I got these, was getting these steroid injections.

Speaker 2 And so it gave me this thing called Cushing Syndrome, which I wouldn't have known if the internet hadn't come for me so hard. So right before I started filming Kind of Pregnant,

Speaker 2 which you guys have to check out on Netflix, we're getting there. I was

Speaker 2 like before, right before we started rolling was when I learned I had this condition and that I had something called Moonface.

Speaker 2 And then there's just, I'm starring in a movie and there's a camera right in my face. And I'm like, and they're like, rolling.
And I'm like, oh my God. And,

Speaker 2 you know, I asked some of the people close to me and everyone's like,

Speaker 2 you look great, you know, but then you have like your one friend from high school that's like, your face is looking like a little bit insane. And you're like, okay.
I love you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so anyway, I got rid of like it just has to work itself out. There are two, there are two kinds of cushioning where in one of them you could die.
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 And so for like 24 hours, I was like, I'm dead. Yeah.
So I was feeling really down on myself before I started filming this movie.

Speaker 1 I am so sorry, but I'm happy that you're okay.

Speaker 2 Thank you. And, but I want to say something else.
Yeah. I was feeling so down on myself and I was like really having trouble figuring out how I was going to star in a movie while I had this going on.

Speaker 2 And it just took one

Speaker 2 friend who

Speaker 2 this girl, Lorraine, who lives in New Orleans,

Speaker 2 who's a director, Lorraine Caffarici.

Speaker 2 She

Speaker 2 was like, you know what?

Speaker 2 You know, I think you look fucking great. And you're going to, like, she just, and I just needed one person to just amp me up.

Speaker 2 And I, you know, you're like, let's go. Which is also, did you see the movie Young Adult? No.
Oh, with Charlize Theron? Wait, no. Okay, you have to see this movie.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Anyway, that's just, I don't want to spoil the end for you, but I'll watch it. You know, you just need one person to be like,

Speaker 1 go. I think that's like really incredible, but you did.

Speaker 1 The fucking toe. I can't.
I can't.

Speaker 2 Wait, are you like Chelsea Handler? Like, you get grossed out by feet. Well, it's just that I don't have a pedicure.

Speaker 1 No, I don't give a shit about the pedicure. I'm just shocked you don't have socks on.
That's my only note and then I'm gonna keep it.

Speaker 2 Because of the cold?

Speaker 1 No, because like who the fuck shows up to an interview with no socks on and shows up also with sneakers on with no socks on?

Speaker 2 Okay, but ma'am, you also are dressed like you're in hospice. So like why?

Speaker 2 Like, but why? So why?

Speaker 1 Copied me.

Speaker 2 I did. I couldn't.
Do you know how quick I wanted to come here? I mean, that's it. You dress like you're in hospice and I love it.

Speaker 1 It's like, yes. It's so cozy.
It's so cozy.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 Can we talk about your husband?

Speaker 2 I'd love to. Chris.

Speaker 1 Chris. And he's a chef.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay, is it true that if you are married to a chef, like they never cook for you because they're cooking all the time? No, that's not true.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I have to tell my friend who literally is married to a chef and she's like, it just sucks because he never cooks for me. He literally hates you.
Wait.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, your lady's husband hates her.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. They just got engaged.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 that's going to be called off.

Speaker 2 He's fucked up. He doesn't cook for her.

Speaker 1 I know, too. He does it so much.
Like, he's tired.

Speaker 2 This is like, and Chris knows, too. It's like, I can never leave him.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, what, what?

Speaker 1 What am I going to do? Yeah, you're indebted to him.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He's.

Speaker 1 What's the main dish?

Speaker 2 That's the thing. It's always.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He's so.

Speaker 2 Last night he made shrimp pad Thai. But also, you know, I keep in the back of my head, you know, for a rainy day yeah i can just get takeout

Speaker 2 okay but no um you know when you're in fights and he's like well then i won't cook and you're like i'm already on door dash i have never yelled at him i can just get takeout but i am keeping that tucked in the back that's kind of iconic yeah no we uh

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 we get along like we're just like toxic together and

Speaker 1 you know those are the best relationships yeah um when obviously you're like very famous and yeah, thank you. Yeah, still at the height, you know?

Speaker 2 I try to remind him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you're a big fucking deal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's like, can you go, why don't you go in? And I'm like, I'm like very famous. And he's like,

Speaker 2 okay. He just is not interested.

Speaker 1 He doesn't care. I was going to say, like, what does he think of this fucking chaos?

Speaker 2 No, it's like the same with my son or my husband. It's like, you're mom and like, you're my wife.
Like, I, like,

Speaker 2 I, you know, I think sometimes he'll try to empathize with it. Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 He doesn't care. He doesn't give a shit.
He doesn't care. He's been around.
He grew up on Martha's Vineyard. Oh, so he's

Speaker 2 no, it's like on Martha's Vineyard, there's like the rich people, and then there's like the people that work for the rich people. And that was him.
And that was him.

Speaker 2 And, you know, there's a nice community.

Speaker 2 And I feel lucky that I

Speaker 2 grew up most of my life

Speaker 2 without any money because.

Speaker 2 You know, Chris had to really hustle to make it as a chef. I had to really hustle to make it.
Like, didn't have a relative to ask for $100. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 so, but he did grow up with like some famous friends.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's kind of nice. Wait, how old is your child?

Speaker 2 I want to say five.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's five and a half.

Speaker 1 Wait, have you shown him any of your movies?

Speaker 2 He has seen Trolls 3, which I did a voice in. Yeah, yeah.
And he has seen the moment in Trainwreck when I fall, like when I try to dunk.

Speaker 2 And he's, he came in a lot when I was editing kind of pregnant.

Speaker 1 What does he think? He's like, mommy? He's like...

Speaker 2 he thinks that the stunts are funny. He does.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like the Zamboni scene.
Do you understand that?

Speaker 2 I don't think he saw the Zamboni scene.

Speaker 1 Why not? Too aggressive.

Speaker 2 Probably. It probably would have scared him.
It's a little much. Yeah.
That was.

Speaker 1 The first couple hits were good. And then when you guys took out the whole like sidecar of the restaurant, I was like, Jesus.

Speaker 2 That was, I have to be honest and just say that that was not

Speaker 2 the that was not written by me that part.

Speaker 2 And also the the part in train wreck where i come out and dance was not my idea either it wasn't no this is this is that's the male intervention okay it was kind of funny we'll give them that yeah the zamboni was funny yeah um okay and also thank you for like telling everyone the end of my movie no it's the beginning of the movie

Speaker 1 cut this cut this something crazy happened to my zamboni no nobody would nobody would remember no no no no no and it's not too like no well i mean mean, you know.

Speaker 1 Not to, just to quickly, because I know you've talked about this before, but

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 talked about how your husband has autism. How did you guys like decide to be public about that? Not that you shouldn't.
I'm just curious.

Speaker 2 Like, it's kind of... Well, I didn't ask him.
No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 I just one night. Well, we were.
The way it happened was I was going to document making this special

Speaker 2 stand-up special. And then I found out I was pregnant.
And we're like, okay, great. That'll be part of the doc.
And then

Speaker 2 I was so sick.

Speaker 2 I had something called hyperemesis gravidarum, which

Speaker 2 this is good. Anybody listening, if you have severe nausea and vomiting, and everyone's going, it's the first trimester.
And you're like, I don't know. Hypermesis gravidarum.
That's a word.

Speaker 2 Wait, hyper. Hyperemesis gravidarum.

Speaker 1 So say fit, like slow, slow.

Speaker 2 Hyper. Hyper.
No.

Speaker 1 Hyper.

Speaker 2 Hyper means like a lot.

Speaker 2 Emesis means nausea. Emesis.
Emesis. Emesis means vomiting.

Speaker 1 I just wanted you to say it slow so I could say it with you. Hyper, emesis.

Speaker 2 Emesis gravidarum. Gravidarum.
I feel like we're in like the craft and we're like hyperum. Like we're going to make a scout.

Speaker 2 But yes. And they really underdiagnose everything with women.
Of course. Including endometriosis.
Hello. You're not supposed to have vile cramps.

Speaker 2 That's not normal. It usually takes 10 years to get a diagnosis for endometriosis.
That's fucking insane. Anyway, you sum things up.
Yep. It's not just normal.
You're not being dramatic.

Speaker 2 Anyway, and then my husband was on the spectrum. No, I'm just kidding.
So then,

Speaker 2 after we were married, like a couple months, he would just do things where I'd be like, it would be such a different response than I was.

Speaker 2 that you like sort of we were used to, you know, one time I fell and, you know, it's like everybody would be like, are you okay? You know, and he would just kind of like,

Speaker 2 like, just stare, you know, and it was like, oh, and uh, and he would also just say things in front of people.

Speaker 2 It's part of what I fell in love with was that he'd be like, you know, why is your like outfit so weird? Are you, you know, and says exactly what he thinks. And I was like, would you be interested?

Speaker 2 I just did like a little online test, just me.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, for my test, I was like, he's on the spectrum. And I said to him, would you be interested in learning more about your brain?

Speaker 2 Like, would you want to find out if you were on the spectrum? And he was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a nice also way to like approach something.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he, had he said, like, no, I would have been like, all right.

Speaker 2 But he went and he was tested. And

Speaker 2 yeah. And like,

Speaker 2 and it's, it's been amazing. Like, it's, it's been amazing for him.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And for me, it's like, but it's because it's public and there aren't many adults out yeah like everyone's like quiet about it because there's such a stigma so it's you know i think he's like really cool and brave that he's like out there like yeah and and how many and like how many people do you know where you're like this person's on the spectrum who cares they're like my favorite people i agree like i think it's nice obviously it's not like his burden to bear to be like the poster child of but like right it's nice i agree because there are so many people but it's like there's a stigma around it, which there shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 No, it's it's stupid. And I remember when I was a kid, people were embarrassed about ADHD, and now, like, people, that's the second thing they'll tell you about themselves, of course, you know.

Speaker 2 And so, I just, I hope that it gets more normal.

Speaker 2 And, like,

Speaker 2 and I, you know, I feel like he's done his part, and

Speaker 2 um, I think it's great, yeah, great. And you know what?

Speaker 2 I like, you know, he, of course, annoys me, and like, there are are days where I, like, you know, want to kill him, but we, I would still choose him out of everyone I've ever met.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I love it.
And not just because he's a chef, but God, that doesn't hurt.

Speaker 1 And someone you can talk shit with. Done.

Speaker 1 Can we talk about your new movie, even though I ruined the entire ending?

Speaker 2 Yes. I'm going to cut it.
Yes. Did you have any more spoilers you wanted to? No, I'm going to go through the entire movie.

Speaker 1 No, I was cackling. I was saying to everyone this morning, I'm like,

Speaker 1 it was so nice seeing you lead another movie because you are so physically funny comedy-wise. Like, no, the way you

Speaker 1 that sounds so creepy, but like move your body, and you're just like very, very physically funny. And that is like a hard thing to do.

Speaker 1 Obviously, you're like verbally funny, but you're just so fucking good.

Speaker 2 That's so nice.

Speaker 1 And it's an honor to sit on this couch with you.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. This is such a nice couch.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 when I saw this like suede-esque couch, I said, yes. No, that's really nice because I haven't, I haven't starred in a movie in a while.

Speaker 2 This script was sent to me, you know, and like, I'm like a little snot. Like, I won't do, you know, I'm like, for me to like give that much time and energy to something, I have to be into it.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I think this is a really good idea. A woman faking a pregnancy is so insane.
Yeah. And,

Speaker 2 and I just, there was like the backbone was there, like the skeleton was there to like, you know, I, to, to, to shape a bunch of it. And,

Speaker 2 you know, I like I'm trying to just show women having fun and being equals,

Speaker 2 you know, and like female friendships. And so it was like, that was all so there for me and clearly the point of the movie.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like it's, you know, it's described as a rom-com and it is, but it kind of isn't. It's like more about like the love story of the friendships.

Speaker 1 So the entire movie is like hilarious. It's like every single scene, I feel like, just keeps ramping up, ramping up, like the knife in the child scene.
I was like, holy,

Speaker 1 no one's going to see it because it's like, no, no, when you stabbed the child, no, I didn't say that. I said, knife in the child scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, but do you now hear it out loud and like see that knife in the child? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They're like, it's a horror film.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. It is one of the funniest scenes.

Speaker 2 No children are stabbed.

Speaker 1 He's holding a knife.

Speaker 2 Okay. Look, I just like, they're like, Amy Schumer goes on caller daddy and they talk about the knife.

Speaker 2 there is no child gets stabbed.

Speaker 1 No child stabbed. Child holding knife.
Funny. Funny scene.

Speaker 2 Funny child knife.

Speaker 2 Scene.

Speaker 1 And scene. End scene.
But one of my favorite themes in the movie is the fact that these women, it's all about timelines.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that is the most fucking realistic conversation I have on the show so often. It's like everyone comparing the timeline here.

Speaker 1 And oh, you're having a baby, but I'm not engaged yet, but you're divorced. And oh my God, and I'm single and I want kids or I'm doing IVF or I can't get pregnant.
Like, there's so much.

Speaker 1 And the reason that we get anxious is because we're looking around and we're like, where am I? Where am I? Like, how do I never know?

Speaker 2 How do I fit in?

Speaker 1 It's insane.

Speaker 1 How do you think this movie does a good job of like kind of embodying the concept of like stop constantly comparing yourself to other people around you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think,

Speaker 2 you know, this movie is about a

Speaker 2 like, I think my character's Lainey, and she, when she's a little girl, loses her mom and is just like doesn't want to be alone. So she has the idea of like wants a lot of family around her.

Speaker 2 And I didn't have a lot of family around me as a kid, and I connected to that.

Speaker 2 And I would, my friends would have like big families, and I would kind of go and hang with them and be like, oh, one day I want a family. And like, she just thinks that's a way to not be alone.

Speaker 2 And then, um,

Speaker 2 you know, realizes that you're, I mean, for me, my, my favorite times are with my girlfriends and like laughing and having a dinner or whatever.

Speaker 2 My, I'm really close with my girls from home and my friends that I've made since I've been older. And like, that's where a lot of my joy comes from.

Speaker 2 Um, I don't ever say joy in real life, so I feel like just because I'm on this couch, can you just like believe, can you voice over and have someone say something I want to say? Like, like what?

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. But

Speaker 2 my good, my good vibes and having fun, you know, it's like I love joyful, yeah, I love my family, um,

Speaker 1 but you know, you're girls, yeah, no, it's so true, and I feel like also as you get older, especially with kids or someone that's not having kids, like there feels like there can be this disparity within friendships where I have so many women right in being like, oh my God, I, I, like, I feel like I'm getting disconnected to my friend because she just got married and I'm single.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I so get that that could be a feeling, yeah, but that who gives a shit where you're each at? Like, the reason you're friends is because you like each other as human beings.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I think I was the last one of my friends to have a kid.
Yeah. And I didn't, I was not someone who was like, always knew she wanted to be a mom.
And

Speaker 2 yeah, it wasn't until Chris was literally like, we're going to have a family. And I was like, oh.

Speaker 2 But I am also like,

Speaker 2 if you were like, if someone's like, should I have kids? I'm like, probably not.

Speaker 2 You know, like,

Speaker 2 it's not looking good. You know, things aren't looking good.
So I just, I think it's,

Speaker 2 and also I think people get intimidated. If you haven't like ever spent time around little kids, you, you feel confused.

Speaker 2 And so your friends can kind of alienate themselves because they're like, okay, I don't understand this and I don't understand children.

Speaker 2 But, you know, you don't, you love your friends and you want them to be a part of your life and, but you don't want them to be uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 It's like, I would love for my friends who don't have kids to like

Speaker 2 be in my life or my child's life. Um,

Speaker 2 but because you, but then it's like you have a kid, you understand that I don't need, you don't like, you don't need your friends to phone over your kid.

Speaker 2 You, you have such a good thing with your kid, yeah, and you know, they're cute and you know they love you, so you don't, you don't need, and I think people think, oh, I'm supposed to play some other role.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like, I'm like, you don't even need to mention like the kid's name, but I'll be like obsessed with some of my friends' kids and like, right, you know, they're, but, but then also, like, I don't don't remember all their names and like it's like you have your own like you're like i'm good me and my kid are good like yeah you know and but but really i'm not like if someone were like you know i just don't feel like everybody has to have kids no and that's what i was gonna say like i feel like people can read the room better if you are a mother and you know your friend has been struggling and whether she can't have kids or she doesn't want to have kids stop being the one being like let me just show you one more photo like that's sick knock it off my

Speaker 2 every one of my friends i i would say i would say like all almost 100 of my friends have had miscarriages and

Speaker 2 and i feel like lucky that we all like yeah feel comfortable sharing that with each other yeah

Speaker 2 because like it's so painful and you know whatever i'm like gonna say people don't talk about it but they do because i've heard people say they don't talk about it but i just feel like It's the, it's the most sensitive thing.

Speaker 2 I think for any woman, like, that's the most painful thing I can imagine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I feel like your movie, though, brings light to what is a very sensitive topic.

Speaker 1 And I, I found a lot of like, I don't know, I just enjoyed it because, yes, there is so much negative around it of like, you, we aren't allowed to talk about this.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, oh, we're bitching if we talk about it too much. But if we don't open up about it, then we're not honest and real.

Speaker 1 And like, there's just so much that goes into being a fucking woman, like we've talked about this entire episode.

Speaker 1 And I promise I'm wrapping up, but

Speaker 1 I think. I'm having the best time.

Speaker 1 You are. Did you have a good time?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, are you going to leave here and be like...

Speaker 2 I'm going to leave here and be like, feel like I just hung out with a good friend.

Speaker 2 I hope that's not embarrassing.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I was so vulnerable at the beginning of this telling you I was like kind of like a fucking fan. And I'm like DMing you like a creep.
And now

Speaker 1 we have like cred. Like now if I DM you, you're going to answer me not in like three years.

Speaker 2 That's right. You'll answer me tomorrow.
No. Two years.

Speaker 1 Amy Schumer, thank you for coming. Caller Daddy.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 You're amazing.

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Speaker 1 Everyone that listens to this podcast knows the way that I feel about Hidden Valley Ranch, Okay. It has been in my life through and through since honestly, I feel like I came out of the womb.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I am so excited for Thanksgiving because obviously I am going to have Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning a part of my ingredients. Okay.

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You want to make something about yourself?

Speaker 1 Boom, you use the Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning also because that is, it can be versatile.

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