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Hey guys, it's Pump Day. Pump Day.
Welcome back to another episode of Kate and Ty Break It Down. I hope you guys have all been well.

We missed talking to you guys. It's been, what, last week was a best of episode? Because, you know, holidays are freaking crazy.

And we want to know, do you guys even like best of episodes? We don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I thought it was an interesting idea, but hey, let us know.

So, yeah, so the holidays have been crazy. We've had constant sick kids this month of December.
God help me.

Projectile vomiting children. Throughout all the night.
Yep. Every hour.

Yeah, Raya was a couple days ago, and she was like up till 2 in the morning, just constantly puking. She stopped puking at like 2 a.m.

after I washed sheets and bedding and changed her clothes like four times.

And then eventually I was like, girl, we're getting on the couch.

Yeah. Because I would lay in bed.
Trash can in front of you. Yeah.
Fuck it. I would lay in bed and then all of a sudden I'd hear her barfin and I'm like, oh, God, get out of bed, go change her.

She'd come downstairs, put her back in her room, and then I'd lay down. And then there it is again.
So, about one o'clock, I was like, All right, all done.

Yeah, I'm like, Let's lay on the couch together. Here's a garbage can, mom will lay here.
We're just gonna, we're gonna sleep here.

And then, I all of a sudden, I felt she actually fell asleep finally because she didn't sleep at all. She was like puking every hour, yeah, the whole time.

Can't sleep, no, and so then once I knew she was out, I was like, All right, I carried her back in her bed, and thankfully, she didn't puke again until like six in the morning.

And then we had what a couple few normal days, we had no, we had like two normal days, and then Data, all of a sudden, we're sitting there.

And, guys, we just bought like a new,

and yeah, sure, we're idiots. We bought a new white-esque

for those furry couches. Furry couches, not the, not the inflatable, no, not the

boneless, not the boneless ones. But anyway,

new couch,

and there's Veda sitting there. We had a couple normal days.
You thought maybe this whole stomach bug was gone. Yeah, we just got done eating dinner.
I look over, and Vada just goes,

and then

it was like projected. it was literally one, two, three, four, probably five different regurgitating projectile

brown chocolate milk mixed with whatever

all over the white, fluffy, hairy couch. That by the way, if you have a fluffy couch, I'd like to know if you have to brush it like an animal, like a living animal, because I look over.

There's my wife one day with a fucking cat brush, a special

cat brush for the couch. So I'm going to let everyone know now, beautiful couch, soft, comfy.

You want to take a nap or you want to crawl right into it, but you have to brush it. Doesn't it look better after I brush it, though? Do you hear that sentence say it again?

Doesn't it look better after I brush it? Doesn't it look better after I brush the couch? The couch looks better after I brush the couch.

I know. We live in 2025 and we're brushing couches.
Yep, to make it look nice. Hey, listen, it's very comfortable, but

I don't know. Yeah.
So then Vada puked. Vada's been bad.

Vada's been, like, she still had a, she had a fever earlier today, too. Like, while you were going to get your mom,

she spiked a fever, and I was like, oh, yeah, it's never ending. And Christmas is just a couple days away.

Yeah. Really? Yeah.
And Christmas is just a couple days away. So I'm like, please.
Because she seemed fine this morning. Yeah.
Yeah.

So she's on Tyler right now then. You've been, oh, shit.
I thought you were done. I don't want to see you guys.
And I'm like, what? Christmas is in what? Four days

while we were

recording this.

So I'm like, please, it cannot go to anybody else. Yeah, I just got, I'm out from the airport from Florida.
So she's here for

nine days for Christmas, which I'm very grateful for. Because I don't know if people don't know, but like I didn't, wasn't raised.
All my family lives in California.

So I never got to go to like grandma's house. Grandma never came to my house for any holidays.

No, it's really, yeah, they all live in California. So it's really nice that my mom can make the trip from Florida every, you know, Christmas.
And she does it every Christmas. She comes.

And then, you know, she also alternates Nova's birthdays. Like, she was here last year for Nova's.
So she won't be here for Nova's this year, but she'll be here for Veda's.

Like, she alternates the birthdays between Veda and Raya. Or I'm sorry, Veda and Nova, because she's always here for Raya's.

I was worried when she moved to Florida. I was like,

you're one of those snowbirds. I'm never going to see you again.
I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
And she's here all summer too. But I'm glad that she does, you know, come for Christmas and stuff.

So, right now, if you guys do hear any kids or anything, they're all up and they're downstairs with Graham. Yeah.
So we just got back from the airport. So they're like all about her right now.

Oh, gosh. They were so excited.
Yeah. So excited.

I don't know if you did. Vada was in the window.
He pulled in the driveway. Oh, was she? Yeah, my mom's like, oh my gosh, there she is.
I was like, I told you she was waiting for you.

She was literally banging the window. Oh, that's cute.
That had to melt her heart. I did because she was in the windshield.
She's like, oh my God.

And Veda was like breaking the screen. I was like, all right, all right, all right, we're coming to the house.

She's like, don't bother the windscreen. Yeah, leave it to Veda.
Yeah, so I'm just hoping that

the sickness stops with Veda. I cleaned the playroom yesterday and I literally like doused the whole, they have like this little couch in there.
I doused everything with Lysol. Yeah.
I was like, dude.

And they have such little toys in there that it's like little calico critter things that they just got to speak with Lysol.

Just dous it in Lysol. Yep.

As best you can. Yeah.
So I'm just praying that nobody else gets hit.

But as far as like, we're, we're, you know, we're amping up for Christmas.

one of my friends is coming over in a couple days, and you know, Ty's mom's here and stuff.

I don't know if my mom's coming or not, but um, we're gonna do, we always last year we started the tradition where my friend Jen comes over with her kids, and um, we make a bunch of cookies and stuff, so we're gonna do that, which I'm excited for.

I always love those sugar cookies

and then, um, your mom always does her little thing like Christmas Eve, gets the kids new pajamas for Christmas Eve and stuff. So, we have a few traditions leading up to Christmas.

What's your favorite Christmas cookie? Hmm.

I like the thumbprint ones with the jam in the middle. Oh, wow, really?

Good, yeah. I also really like

pecan tarts.

I'm really lazy this year. I bought

it. Did we make a pecan cookie? We made a cookie one year? Yeah, we made that last year.

My favorite is a classic sugar cookie with white frosting and the crumble sprinkle. Not the big fat sprinkles, the little sugar sprinkle.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Blue. I don't care what color it is.
I don't know.

Yeah. I know.
I already, I bought some cookie doughs today because I'm just like,

so I might make like a home, like one homemade cookie or whatever, but I'm like, I'm just like, cut these bitches and kick them all. All they care about is decorating it.
They literally.

How you make it? No, I bought all the

different colored icings and the sprinkles. Have at it.
And we usually say, like, those ones are for Santa. They make the cookies for Santa.
You know, it's like a tradition or whatever.

But I since, you know, Christmas is around the corner, corner, literally here in a couple days.

I know that, Tyler, you've talked about this last year, you saw something about it, and this year, even last night, you were talking about it in bed.

Yes, and I want to know, I need people to like, you need to like message us or comment. Like, what

I did not, I wasn't aware that this was that big of a thing.

The first time ever hearing about it was last year, and I guess it's a really big, common thing where moms and wives either fill their own stocking or don't have a stocking at all. Yeah.

And my mind is blown. And you were reading some of these comments from women last night.
Like, women have, remember, she's like, it was breaking my heart.

Like, the one girl said, like, I filled mine up for 12 years. And then eventually I said, fuck it.
Until her son said something.

And then her son, yeah, so there's one comment where, because I was like, this is, this can't be a common thing. It is.
But I didn't realize it until reading the comments.

And then all of a sudden, I'm like, holy shit, these poor women. Like, what the fuck?

And she was like, her comment was,

I filled my own stocking for like 12, 13 years or something. And then I said, screw it.
I'm going to stop.

And then when she stopped, her son was like, mom, where's your stocking? Why don't you have a stocking? And from that moment on, the husband started filling her stocking. Right.

And it's like, what the fuck? After 13 years. And here's my question.
My thing about it is this is what I'm thinking in my head.

Okay, so there's these husbands or men, whatever, dads, opening a stocking that they didn't fill themselves.

They look over. I'm opening my stocking.
Oh my God, it's so cool. Look over my kids.
Oh my God, god, stocking's so cool. Look over my wife.
And she's just sitting there.

And she's like, oh, look at my stocking. And you're like, what did you get? Like, it's like,

what goes, how are you not? Right. And if this is happening, and if this also has been happening for years, you've been seeing this for years and you don't think anything about it.

For 12 years, I'm just going off this girl's comment. For 12 years, you watched in excitement because you don't know what's in your stocking.
The kids don't know what's in the stocking.

But your wife knows what's in the store. But your wife knows what's in all

the stockings. Yeah.
And you're like, I don't know. I just couldn't, I can't, still can't wrap my head around it.
I'm very, it just shocks the fuck out of me. And that's a mom's phenomenon.

Yeah, it's like an empty stocking, mom's empty stockings. Like nobody, mom.
It's basically, it goes to show in a lot of households that the moms do everything.

They bring the Christmas magic, they're wrapping the presents, they're shopping, they're picking it out, they're doing everything, filling the stockings. And again, mom gets left to the side.

Are you kidding? I could not imagine looking at you and you having a stocking that I didn't pack

or

not have one at all. I, especially, okay, here's my thing.

I would get it.

I would understand if the mom and dad made an agreement, like, hey, listen, I'll fill my own stocking, you fill your own stocking because it's all about the kids anyway, with stuff I like, and you get stuff you like and put it in your own stocking.

Yeah. But that's not what's happening.
I'm seeing that. That's not happening.
What's happening is the guy is getting a surprise stocking. Yeah, he's not filling himself.

He gets nothing or fills her own.

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what the fuck is going on and i think that's even weirder for us too because like for us in our household christmas is very much like about the kids and you know it's all about the kids we might like you know one year it was like hey honey you really want that love sack then that'll be your christmas present together yeah you know or whatever but what we always make sure to do is like we always fill up a stocking and it could be little things like you know normal the shampoo that you love or perfume that you love the perfume the razors the basic shit socks comfy socks right you know what i mean and but we always make it a point to at least fill each other's stockings i mean that's the least that somebody could do i actually think it's kind of cool what we've done which is like because me and kate like we we we don't There's nothing that we really want that we don't get ourselves.

So it's like, I think the nutrition, which I really have been liking the last couple of years, is that we just, whatever can fit in the stocking is the gifts we get each other. Right.

And that's great because we don't got to get pressure of like, oh, I'm going to not, remember that one year you were like, I'm going to get each other. And I couldn't help it.

Yeah. And then I come downstairs on Christmas morning and gives me a present.
And I was pissed. I was like, yo, what the fuck? Now I feel like less than because I didn't give you shit out of stocking.

But I said, I gave it to you and said, don't feel, don't feel like that.

I just couldn't help it because you said it. And I, and anyway.
Right.

But now I get it. I understand.
So now we just feel each other's stocking and it's great. And I don't know.

I just couldn't believe reading those comments was like, like, I don't know, any guy listening to this or any, any mom, any wife, please send this.

If this is what you're experiencing, send this clip to your guy because get, men, get your fucking shit together. Fill your wife's stocking.
Your girlfriend. Fill the girlfriend's stocking.

Fill the mother of your child's stocking. It is not, this is not rocket science.
This isn't something you should probably even be thinking about or have to be reminded to do.

But based off the comments and everyone saying what they're saying i'm like this is well because last night you said somebody did a study on it right no

no this was are they the cnna was just doing an article about like what is this crazy thing that we're hearing about because i think and it's weird because like is it because women just did it silently probably and they never i think it's for the first time people women are being like well i don't have a stocking and people are like whoa whoa what it's like it's almost it reminds me of like when it reminds me this is what i'm saying as far as men grow grow the fuck up beside being a little baby yeah because what do you magically think dishes just get done?

Do you magically think that the counter gets wiped? Do you magically think that the bathroom gets cleaned? Or even just for Christmas, like you think

all your

presents just like that? Yes, you think magically? Right.

All these Christmas beautiful things that your wife is doing just magically happen. No, motherfucker.
It's your wife, dude. So the least you can fucking do is fill her fucking stocking.
Right.

And like, come on, you have to know like what her favorite chocolates are. I hope she knows what I mean.
I mean, I would hope so.

Listen, I'll be honest.

I have no problem filling your stocking right never had a problem never will right or she likes fuzzy socks or you know eye masks or whatever you know like come on I just I couldn't believe that this was a real thing so if this is if this is something you're experiencing please I think that's sad yeah I think it's sad because I feel like

And I'm so blessed that in our household, it's not like that for me.

But I feel sad for other women that, like I said, they're bringing all the Christmas magic, doing all the things, and then they just get pushed to the side, you know.

It blew my mind, it really blew my mind. I was, I was very, and then it made me think about my mom when I was growing up.
I'm like,

my mom never

filled her own stocking.

Poor, that's sad, right? You know, right, God. And then I think about like, if I was,

if I was the other spouse filling my other spouse's stocking and then filling my own, like, fuck your stocking. Seriously.

I ain't filling your bitch ass stocking. And I gotta fill my, I gotta fill all the stockings.

Bro, I ain't, I ain't, I put a,

to make a message, women out there, listen, put a coal in a stocking and make him be so surprised. And all the kids go, dad, what did you do? And she goes, yeah, what'd you do, Rick?

What'd you forget to do? What'd you forget to do, Rick?

Yeah, why'd you get Cole? And then he's going to look at her, what? Yeah. Knowing that she fills the stocking.
And he'll be like, shit. And just give him the eyes.

Those, you know, those wife eyes, whatever you got to do, I don't know. Just

yeah, because that's that is sad. Moms should feel included too.

Moms do everything. And I think that I don't care if you're working 60, 70 hours a week.
They do everything. Like I said, the lights don't magically appear in the tree.

The ornaments don't magically appear in the tree. Men, the bathrooms don't magically become clean.

So the least you can fucking do is sprinkle a little your own magic for the fucking stocking.

What the fuck is wrong with people, bro? Yeah, it is sad. Anyway, I had, I didn't, I was like, this is crazy.

So, I wonder how many women out there that listen, like, is your stocking empty or are you filling your own? Like, I would like, I'd be interested. I'm very interested to see, you know?

And there was a comment that was like, I'm so sorry. My husband's always filled my stocking.
I can't imagine. And it's like, thank God.
Yeah, thank you. Thank God.
You've always filled mine. God.

So thank you for loving me. Thank you.
Thank you for filling my stocking. Okay, because shit,

the fuck. But see, I guess for people, it's common.
It's just common sense, you know? Yeah, I guess some. You don't gotta be thought about it.

You don't gotta be like reminded about it. No, it's just natural.
You're not thinking about it. It's just natural.

Because I know if I don't fill your socking, nobody's going to. No one's going to.
I don't even want to think about you filling your own.

So what the fuck is that? That would be horrible. That would be horrible.
Anyway, anyone out there can relate to this or understand?

Let's just, I don't know.

Yeah.

Put your shit together, dudes.

And also, but you know what? All right, if you have kids in the car or where you're listening, before I say this, turn it down. Okay.
Oh, turn it down. Yeah.
You have five, four,

three, two,

one.

I can't wait for this elf to go back to the north.

Fuck this elf.

I fucking hate this fucking elf. And guess what? We're so smart, we decided to get two elves this year.
Yeah. What the fuck are we thinking?

It was because Veda asked me, and I was just talking to her in the morning. I was like, you know how she talks.
I'm like, like, listen, eat your waffles and fucking brush your teeth.

I'm answering her. She's like, hurry up.
And she was like, well, I, so she wants to saw a fucking video or someone. Someone.
Or someone at school told her. I said, I have two.
What? You can have two?

She's like, dad, you know, they can have two. And if you ask, if you ask the elf, can you bring one of your friends

so that way we can have two elves in the house?

And sure as shit.

What if she's like, little Veda's like, hey, Trixie,

can you please go bring your friend from the North Pole so I can have two elves and you can have a friend? That'd be so great. Thank you so much.
Whatever. And goes brush her teeth.
I'm like, fuck.

I know. So then you know what mom is doing.
I'm like, fucking A, right now I'm searching for an elf.

Found a boy elf, you know, or whatever. Yeah, she wanted a boy elf.

But I think, like, as much as a pain in the ass, it is like you forget about it or you have to move it every night or whatever.

Some of the things that I do, especially at the like Nova is kind of just like, oh, that's funny, you know. But like Veda being six and Raya being four, like

the plus side is, is they get so excited and like pumped. Yeah, they do.
Like this morning we did

like a candy cane scavenger hunt and Raya was like, she thought it was like fucking Easter morning. She was like running around.
She's like, I found one. Mom, look it.
Oh my God.

You know, like she was so excited. Which that's what it's all about.
It is. It's bringing the Christmas magic, but come on, parent.

You know, there was one night I fell asleep and I woke up, dead woke up and I was like, I didn't move the fucking house.

Shit. And Vada wakes me up, you know? And so it's like, we go downstairs and vada's like why didn't she move and i'm like i she must have been really tired i i don't know you know

you know what i mean and it's like the box like they do sell elf boxes which like will save your life because it gives you props and like that water can you

it was great everything was in the box yes don't have to think about nothing but vada's funny she's very like so much like tyler like

just she's her personality is just like ty and so i did one where it was like the elf pooped in the the toilet. So, I melted like all this chocolate, poured it in the water.

And, you know, you put like poop marks on the toilet paper and stuff. And Tyler was like, She was freaking out.
He's like, she wouldn't even go in the bathroom. She brushed her teeth.

She's like, ew, what? What? And she's like,

I'm trying to laugh. She's like, I don't like it.
I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. And she stays on her tippy toes because she stays on her tippy toes.
And she walks out of the bathroom.

She walks out the bathroom with her hands up and her face is scrunched, eyebrows wrinkled. And she is like, I don't like this.
I hate this. I hate this.
Why? Why would she do this?

Why would she do this? And I'm like, okay. I'm like, oh, I don't know.
Sue, she's just being messy and funny, tricksy, you know what I'm saying? No.

And then she was like, I'm not brushing my teeth in there. And I'm like, Veda, we have to brush our teeth in there.
So I literally had to like kind of like talk about it. You had to clean the mess.

Yes, I had clean up the mess a little bit. At least get the paper towel off the wall because Kate put like this shit covered paper towel or paper on the wall.

No, it was hanging from the elf's butt over the toilet. Okay, well, it looked, I don't know, I don't blame her.
Because because if I was a kid,

I'd be like, this is disgusting. And so I had to like, I was like, I'll clean up and put toilet paper in there.
And she's like, don't touch her. I'm like, ah, dude,

all I know is that I want to know what year did this happen? Why, as parents, why do we, it's a newer year.

Why did we add this fucking stress on top of one of the most stressful times? Well, it can be the most stressful times of the year. Yeah, for some people, like,

did we add to ELF, you guys? Who

did this?

I want to send a letter of saying, I really appreciate you, but I also fucking hate your guts.

2005.

Oh, wow. Yep, 2005.
Really? Yeah. That's when it started.
So, yeah, the modern elf on the shelf tradition officially started in 2020.

So I was 13.

When did it gain popularity? Because I'm telling you,

I don't remember ever hearing about no damn elf until I got older. So I guess it was this woman, Carol.
Carol. Carol.
And I guess her family in the 1970s had this tradition.

And their houses, their elf houses, their elf's name was Fisbee. And so she, I guess, she decided to write a book about her tradition as a child, Elf on the Shelf.
And that's what made it all blow up.

So it was like their family tradition. Carol? In the 1970s.
What the fuck, Carol? Yep, because it says 1970s, Carol's family's tradition with their elf. Fisbee begins.
2004.

Shonda Bell suggests turning the tradition into a book. 2005, the book and elf are set are, oh, so the book and elf set are self-published by Carol and Bell.

2007, the tradition gains major media attention

after actress Jennifer Garner is seen with the kit, leading to widespread popularity. So Carol and Jennifer Garner?

Yeah, and then 2012, the Elf on the Shelf makes its debut in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

But that's kind of crazy. It all started from her own little family tradition.

And now it's like all over.

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But like, I like the ones where I like the mischievous elves. Me too.
You know? Yeah, yeah. So, like, they have one, and it's, like, with a mixer.

And you put a naked Barbie in the mixer, and the elf is sitting there with dollar bills. And she's, like, spinning.
Like, it's like, she's at a strip colour, right? But I couldn't do that with Arc.

Yes, okay. she died it down PG-13 the hell out of it.

So I made it, I wanted it to look like you know, a ride, like the Barbie is riding a carnival ride, and I made little like tickets and it said like one ticket or whatever for a ride, yeah.

And Tyler, I was like, So, what did they think? And Tyler was like, They were all confused, nobody got it. I was like, Oh my god, it was like, I don't understand.

I said, I said, and honestly, I didn't know that the whole point was like, Oh, it's a carnival ride, yeah. I just saw tickets.
I'm like, Well, it's supposed to be dollar bills.

I know, I got what it like, I got it because I'm the adult, but I'm like, Oh, it's a performance. Yeah.
I tried, I was like, I should have kept the machine on all night.

And then when you woke up with the kids in the morning,

she wanted me to turn it on, but it still didn't make any sense. They don't understand.
They're like, oh, cool. I'm like, it's a performance.

So I literally said, Cirque Soleil, you know, Cirque du Soleil? She doesn't know what that is.

There was another one that I did that she was like, I don't like it. It was.
She didn't like a lot of them. She didn't like the shit one.
She didn't like the spaghetti one.

Oh, but she did kind of think that she thought it was kind of cool. Yeah, I did the floating fork with it.
The floating fork with the spaghetti, and she was like, I don't like this. Yeah.

And she literally, she has said, I don't like this more times than she said, wow, this is so cool. So I don't fucking know.
Vada's like, I ain't down for this.

And you should see her because she'll look at it and she'll stare at it for a good five minutes before she even asks me a question. Like she's dissecting it with her crinkled brow.
Like,

what the fuck's going on? But the bathroom one, she walked in and was like,

she backed out and I didn't want to go in the bathroom. Trixie had a note in there and it said, like, I'm so sorry.
I just really had to go. Oh, she lost it.

She was like, she literally said, she didn't start crying.

She had that kind of like, so disgusted and so mad at Trixie. You could tell she's like, why would Trixie do this? Like, you know what I mean? She was like,

I think if she could, she would have probably yelled at Trixie. But then she, um, she like set up a couple of her like her dollhouse table and put like cookies on it.
Oh, that was cute.

And like chocolate chips on the little dollhouse table. And so I was like, well, perfect.

That night I was like, I'm going to set them in the chairs and I'm going to make them look like they ate everything.

And I like spread the cream of the cookies all over their faces and stuck a chocolate chip to Buddy's face, and she loves it. But see, now we have two elves, guys.
Yeah. So we have added to the chaos.

But it has made some things easier. Like the ones where I hung them from the light, and then Buddy was holding on to Tracy.

You know, simple stuff when you don't feel like doing like a whole kit or a whole skit. So

what am I going to do with them tonight?

I don't fucking know. They go home soon, though.
Christmas Eve, they go home. Oh, yeah, bye-bye.
Oh, yeah. Hallelujah.

I'm so happy. I cannot wait for them to go home.
I saw a pitch, a meme meme on Facebook. It was like, my elf, what would it say, like 200 and some, no, like 200 and something days out of the year.

And they're just thrown in like a safe in the parents' bedroom. It's like

in there. And I'm like, yeah, seriously.
That's funny.

So, but I hope everybody's Christmas is going to be good. We're looking forward to ours.
I know the kids are super excited.

Nova's bent. She's kind of at the age where she's hard to buy for pre-teen stuff.
And she's not like a normal preteen. She's not very into like skin.

I know.

I literally was talking to jason today i was like i was like oh my god my kid's 11 it's just hard to shop for and he's like well what about get like the makeup kits i'm like no she's not i said jason she ain't like uh she ain't that kind of but i want to talk about because i think the reason why and i think that's super interesting is because these kids aren't watching like cartoon network had toy commercials in between all the shows nickelodeon toy commercials i got a lot of my ideas same from watching the commercials you watch and you're like oh that's awesome i want that i want that batman car i want that you know because you're you're watching it.

These kids don't watch. They don't have normal commercials.
Their ads are like Dove.

And, you know what I mean? It's not normal. But also, too, Nova is very much like kind of how I was when I was younger.
I was definitely like a tomboy. Like, I cared more about my lizard and my

rats. Which I'm cool with.
I even told myself that she's not really like a typical, like, because

she doesn't have a phone. She's not like a.

Her tablets are not, or her tablet that she has is only, she's a timer on it for each day. So she's not like

and she's not on a uh, her, she's not a video watcher, she's a like an animator. What would you call it?

She draws, yeah, she draws on her tablet, and we give her like three hours or two hours every day for technology, and she's able to split it up however she wants. And she usually just draws on,

yeah, and um, and so yeah, the kids are different these days. We took tablets away from the younger ones, what, two years ago, over two years ago.

Yeah, how long it's been a while, yeah, yeah. Because when Raya was a baby, we said this is the third child.
We learned from Nova. Well, and Raya had one for a minute.

Never went to the business.

She didn't want to play.

She just wanted it constantly. Which I think we haven't talked about before, but it's a big thing.
I mean, I think

it goes against the grain a little bit. No tablets.
And they haven't had tablets in years. And they play, guys.

I bought them. I went on, when I took the tablets away, I made sure to get the dollhouse from Fisher Price and all just stuff that they can use their imagination on and stuff.

And I think it's changed everything. And I think.
Yeah, no, and I would say different kids. Yeah,

I would rather have

a playroom that I have to pick up every day

than a kid just sitting on it, wanting to sit on a couch and stare and hold a screen for hours on end. That's actually a great outlook to have.

I'd rather have a dirty playroom to pick up every day than to have a clean playroom and a kid's locked into a city. Because that's what it was like.
Like, they didn't want to watch movies.

They didn't want to play. Like, they have a freaking beautiful Barbie dream house down there and like just,

you know, nice toys. And they did not want to play with anything.

Me and Kate didn't understand because we were like, We want to shower them with everything we never had, so we're like, Oh, have all the you know, a toy room. I never had a toy room.

No, I'm like, rich kids had toy rooms. I'm like, dude, my babysitter had a toy room.
Yeah, that's about it. And I thought it was so cool, yeah.
So, it's like, do we make a toy room?

And the fact that they were so not interested in it, we looked at each other one day, we're like, It's a tablet, we gotta get it done.

And then, also, too, it's just like you know, when the tablet dies, or they lose, you know, no Wi-Fi, and then your kids throwing a tantrum over it and stuff, and it's just like, this is stupid.

And it was about, I think, it would, it took like two days of data asking about it because she was a little older um but now they like they only get them when we go on airplanes

and um i just have downloaded movies on there you know i'm like no yeah so even travel days they watch disney whatever movie we downloaded on the actual tablet so but unless we fly delta which i love because there's a screen right there i don't even have to pull it out if you know or whatever but but i will say i think it was the best one of the best decisions we made as a parent because Nova was at an age to where she understood the limitations we were putting on it.

Yeah, and it's not a problem. Because you know what I'm saying? She's a timer.

And I listen, I was very honest with Nova and very honest with Veda. I said, it hurts your brain.
Okay. And I explained to them how it hurts it,

how it's addictive, how you can't control. The dopamine levels in your brain.
And Veda asked, what does that mean? I said, there are happy chemicals that make you happy.

These are the chemicals in your brain that get released. And this thing sucks them out and sucks them dry and forces them to come out.

And then you're dead for the day because you don't have any more left. And she's like, what? I'm like, yeah.

So you can explain it to your kids, I think, in whatever way you want to, but I did it with honesty. And I was like, hey, it hurts your brain.

And I'm your parent and I have to make the decision to not let you hurt your own brain.

Yeah, and Veta, and Veta, like, she'll ask me sometimes, like, hey, mom, you know, when I'm older, can I have a tablet? And I'm like, you know, you might be able to. Like, your sister has one.

I think it's when they get to the age of understanding. But, like, look, you have two hours.

And when this timer, a two-hour timer goes off, it's done with done you know and i think that's okay i think it's the so what age are we gonna do this at i'm thinking it'd be nice to reintroduce it to her when she's what 10 9 yeah i'm thinking i was thinking like eight so we're around the same yeah we're on okay we're on the same yeah so we'll just we'll play it by year because vada is also different from nova she is i trusted nova at a younger age to handle what we were saying because i think it was the hardest for nova because nova had it from

we got her first tablet when she was what two no she was like four four or five oh Veda got one when she was two. That's the one she got sooner.
Yeah, she got it sooner.

So we got Nova a tablet from the age of four, and we took it away when she was eight. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Yeah, because she was ten. So two years, yeah.

So she had it for like a consistent. I mean, we didn't have anything on it.
No.

And, you know, obviously we. Eventually, we did do the whole thing.
Yeah, two hours. Yeah, two hours.
Yeah.

But it took a minute for us to get there because we didn't really know what the fuck we were doing. Until you read studies and stuff.
Yeah. And then you also just noticed her behavior.

When I'm like, when I'm asking you to go outside and play outside and you said no. And it's 75 degrees out and beautiful.
You're just on that thing.

Give me that tablet. Throw it out.
You know what I'm saying?

So Nova, I think, was the hardest for her. And she was like, I don't understand why you're doing this.
And so I had to explain to her. And she's the oldest.

So, and we could have a good conversation with her. And she understands it, you know? She did.

But, and so, yeah, so I tell beta. I'm like, when you're older, you know, probably, but Nova's the oldest.

Like, yeah, you know, Nova has a projector in her room where she can watch TV and stuff, but she, but also, there's parental controls on that, too. Like, she can't just go and

yeah, she, you know, you can turn it on, but you can't click Disney or YouTube or nothing without my pin.

You know, like, I have to put a pin in to open the app, and whatever app I decide you can go on, then you can scroll through the whole entire app. And I will say, she's really good with this.

She'll be like, mom, can you put the pin in? I want to watch whatever on Disney. It's like, all right, cool, put the pin in.

And every once in a while, I'll be like, okay, like her friends will come over and spend the night.

And I'll be like, I'll, I'll let you watch YouTube tonight.

Cause also they watch like, you know ghost stories or like weird wolf things and it's funny because when we do let them watch it we'd be on that browser history right

and it's funny because I feel I almost feel guilty myself because I'll check the history until like innocent shit but we have to be aware I know but it's like it's it's literally it's a list of like how to prop up your bearded dragon how to fuck yeah like

the randomest thing you can you can think of what's the best way to make a stick figure on a computer animated app?

So, I'm not seeing anything that alarms me yet, but at the same time, I feel like it's important for us to kind of do little slow

just check-ins. All right, you can have YouTube with your friends tonight, and then I'm checking around here.
If I see some weird ass shit, ain't no one on YouTube. Right, right.

How do you supposed to, how are you supposed to like?

You got to give them a little freedom to learn what you have to do. And we didn't have any of this shit when we were kids, so this is all new for us.
Our parents never had a deal with shit.

And I'll be honest with you,

I'm not, I would not be a special child. I would have, oh,

yeah,

or anything, anything. I would have been watching horses all the time.

Yeah. Or even like those videos that,

because what really got me was Nova watching, no, it was Veda watching kids play with Barbies. I'm like, you have a dream house.

You're watching other kids play with Barbies when you have Barbies. And so if I, but I get it, if I was a kid, I would be all up in it.
Oh, yeah.

And ever since we took them away, I mean, those kids are always in the playroom now.

Every once in a while, they'll want to come in the living room. We'll watch like Disney or something, but usually, like, they're playing.
No, I actually really like what you just said about it.

I would much rather clean a playroom. Yeah, sometimes I get frustrated because I'm like, yeah, fuck.
But that's what I tell myself. I'm like, well, it's good.
Yeah.

They're using their imagination and they're having fun in here. So I would much rather have that than it be clean.
Yeah, it wasn't getting used. No, it wasn't.

You were like, what the fuck's the tablets? I'm like, oh, the tablets and different children. One thing that I feel so bad about, though, is like Nova.

She, the only thing she asked for Christmas was a crested gecko. And I'm like, I feel bad for her because there's just a part of me where I'm like, she's such a good kid.
She gets A's and B's.

Even her grades right now, they're straight A's and B's. Like, she's hardworking, determined.
Like,

you know, that part.

She's a good kid. Doesn't equal responsible.

Yes, because I because in the car the other day when I picked her up from school, I'm like, is there anything, you know, have you thought of anything you want?

And she's like, well, mom, I told you, like, I really just want a crested gecko or whatever. And I said, honey, for Christmas, you're not getting a crested gecko.

I said, because, I said, I, I said, because you already, you have two lizards. I said, and mom has to constantly remind you, hey,

you know,

don't have water. Yep.
You know, you know, and I'm like, until you can get to a point of like,

I don't have to say, hey, did you check their water? Or, you know, did you do this? Or did you do that?

You know, because she's very good at like feeding them and like, she's like, that she does besides. She's like kids.
She's a normal kid. She gets it.

But I'm like, until you get to a point of like mom doesn't have to remind you of certain things.

I said, it's different so i told her in the car i said so i said if you make a change in your personal you know whatever in your behavior

i said from now until your birthday i said i might think about it yeah yep you know but it's not working

mochi still hasn't gotten less

We actually tried doing a thing. We're like, okay, we're going to go on, we're going to put a thing on the, on the fridge, and we're going to have like a checklist.

And you have to get a parent's approval to check the box. I'm not going to trust your ass.
She did it for like five days. She did it for five days.
And I'm like, all right, you're not ready to go.

And this was like before Christmas. I was like, you have a month till Christmas.
If you, if I can see a change in your behavior, you know, then maybe I'll think about it.

And she, well, you less than five days. Yeah.
And I even said something to her the day that I noticed, I was like, so you're just done with the check. And she's just like, it's like looked at me.

It's like laziness. I'm like, it's okay.
You're, you're, you're 10. I'm not.
Hey, it's if you want that damn crested gecko enough, I'm telling you how to get it. Yeah, that's all I have to do.

I'm not telling you you can't have it. I'm telling you the perfect path to get it.
Yeah, and I could see her cinematic card. I know she, and I'm like, Do you understand? She's like, I understand.

Was she happy about it? No,

but I'm like, change your behavior, and I think that's you know, change your behavior and

change. Show me that you can, yeah, handle.
Uh, but until then, I'm not buying, I'm not buying another one. And honestly, I don't know, guys, I just kids and animals and shit.
Just fucking goddamn.

I'm all about it. I'm like, You want an animal? Sure.
I was like, I'll buy, I'll buy Vedo bunny.

I know, I'm the crazy one. Thank God I have him because I would be like.

You'd be having a fine from the county for having a fucking unregulated zoo. I would have a zoo for sure.
Once in a while, they do want. I get it.
But see, I never,

I guess I was too into, I was a very solo, I wasn't into animals. That's just how it was.
I've always been into animals. I always wanted to play with my toys by myself.

But

well, we're almost up for this week's episode, but I know that Ty said we wanted to start ending every episode with a question card. Oh, yeah.
So you asked the last one. Okay, Okay, yeah, your turn.

Okay. What's something we used to do at the beginning of our relationship that you miss the most?

I'm like, I still feel like we go on dates when we can. I don't know.
I mean, I would just say we fucked a lot. So, I, but I can't say, like, you know, like we don't now.

No, I'm saying, remember, though, I mean, it was wild. Yeah, when you're a teen, you're like every day, twice a day, three times a day.
That's why anywhere everywhere.

True. So, that's don't listen to that.
First answer was just me listen.

What is one thing? Okay, I mean, besides that, because we had a blast.

Sorry, grandma.

Is that bad? What did you think about when you, because that's the, it just popped up. It was just a little bit of a message.
It was the first time we just were

little rabbits.

Okay.

Why are you breaking the card up? Well, are we going to...

Oh, yes, you're right. Yeah, toss it.
Toss it. Toss it.
You're right.

Something I miss.

I miss when we could just pick up and go and not not have

a freedom before kids. Yeah.
Pretty much.

Because we still, when we get the chance, because we have kids, we still go out and have fun and do things together.

But yeah, I think one thing that I miss is just us. Yeah, just to fly the, you know, fly the Caesar Pants as we're going.

You know, whatever. Yeah.
And plus, you used to smoke weed back then. So.
True. Do you miss that? Miss the porch.
Oh, yeah. I mean, not for you.
I'm so happy you don't no more. Yeah.
But man. Yeah.

We had great times. It'd be like, yeah, let's go back and smoke a dude.

I know. Yep, the good old days.
The good old days. We like stoner couple together in society.
No, I'm gonna clean. I'm gonna do something.

You know what's crazy? Isn't that wild, though?

That's a whole nother episode. We should talk about that.
We really should. Because I don't think people get it.
Well, no, I actually know someone said something to me recently.

It wasn't on my video, it was on someone else's video saying, oh, yeah, because all she does is smoke weed all day. And I'm like, oh, if you guys only knew,

someone hasn't smoked weed in over a decade. Seriously.
Because she has panic attacks triggers it.

But let me tell you, yo, she gave Shoot Dog around for her money back in the day.

Straight.

And she could roll a really nice joint. I mean, a perfect dube.

Fatty. Great, perfect cylinder.
Awesome. And I could scrape a bowl like no other.

It's the biggest race.

There ain't nothing in there. There's something in there.
And I get it, man.

So bad. All right.
Anyway, that's a whole nother episode. But now

you have to answer that cuisine same question. I said it.
Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right.
I said, yeah, whatever. Yeah.

Both said the same thing. Not really.

Whatever. Okay.
I answered that male brain. Yes, you did.
Whatever. But I hope everybody has a safe and

fun holiday and you get to enjoy it with the people that you love.

I know our kids are super excited about it. And

please make sure you please rate and review our show wherever you listen to it at.

that really helps us out a lot also too don't forget that you can follow our patreon page um and the video episodes get released a week after the audio ones due for the podcast so for those who like to watch instead of listen yeah or whatever if you want to you know listen and then watch or whatever but yeah check out the patreon and please give us a give us some stars and uh leave us a review we love to hear from you guys and you can always connect with us on our instagram which is at kate and tie break it down same with tick TikTok,

and also our Facebook fan page, which is still growing. It's Caitlin and Tyler's fan page.

Should we change a name? Absolutely not. Oh, okay.

Sure. Because some people are like, oh, I thought the fan page, since it's called a fan page, they're like, I didn't know you guys actually ran it.
Yeah, but we do. We run it.

We thought it was a fan's running it. I'm like, oh, shit, they think it's.
Oh, I see what you mean.

But, anyways, you can find us there on Facebook, too, and that's always fun. We post things every day on there.

You just started to. I mean, kind of like, yeah, uh, but recently we've been posting on there every single day.
But, um, we love you guys, and I hope everybody has a great and safe holiday.

And we'll keep talking to you guys. Love you bye next week.
Bye-bye.

With all the best for me,

so if you're feeling

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Hi, I'm Adam Rappon, and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent-free in my head for years.

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