Terry Crews | Club Random with Bill Maher

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Speaker 1 Prize Picks, it's good to be right. Must be president in certain six.
Visit PrizePicks.com for restrictions and details. When I was president of my show, I was my pastor.
Well, I give you my word.

Speaker 1 He ain't going to fix the dust stones too.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you, man,

Speaker 1 and this is between me and you, and everybody who's watching. See what I meant about this show? Damn it.

Speaker 1 Terry. Oh, how you doing, my man? It's a pleasure to meet you.

Speaker 1 I've seen you a couple times already at different events and whatever. You've been working out.
A little bit.

Speaker 1 Don't scare me with your tits right away.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, sit your sculpted ass down.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's good. I'll put the shit down on t-shirts.
All day long, I was thinking, I'm going to actually talk to President Camacho.

Speaker 1 And if you never did anything else besides that,

Speaker 1 the people, I must, I don't know, but

Speaker 1 ever since that movie came out, like what year was that? Oh, my God, that was

Speaker 1 2005. Yeah,

Speaker 1 well, it technically didn't come out, it was released in two theaters, one in LA, one in New York, and then for one weekend, and then it was banished.

Speaker 1 It was really video that really happened for everybody with that. Now, you're not gonna smoke pot, right? No, not at all, not at all.

Speaker 1 No, no, are you militantly against marijuana?

Speaker 1 First of all, I'm not against anything.

Speaker 1 It's just that

Speaker 1 you got to understand. I mean, my past in regards to alcohol and drugs, and it's just a lot of death around it.
I mean, from where I'm from. Well, and I found it.

Speaker 1 Now, I didn't have, you know, it's almost like people who swim. Like, some people learn on the beach, some people get kicked in at the community pool.
For me,

Speaker 1 all this stuff. involved people dying.
And I was like, huh.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 that's i mean that's valid i mean that's we should yeah i get it

Speaker 1 it's it's again it's like alcohol there's a lot of people who enjoy it and do great

Speaker 1 and then there's a like holy cow what just happened you know i think there's less people who do great with it yeah

Speaker 1 but but but this you know like for me it was just

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 I know weed and the whole thing I had a lot of family members that started out like that then it ended up harder and weirder and crazier yeah You know, and I said,

Speaker 1 what drugs are we talking about? Like all of them? Yeah, crack. I mean, with the crack.
I came up in the crack era. Right.
The crack era. You see what I mean? 80s.
Oh. Flint, Michigan, 1980s.

Speaker 1 It was hell on earth. Now, and another thing about my background, man.

Speaker 1 Now, my mother was extremely religious. Extremely.
Like, when I was a kid, I couldn't go to the movies. I couldn't dance.
I couldn't listen to secular music. You You couldn't dance.
No, dude. It was,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 it was viewed as, you know, everything was anti-God. Everything was,

Speaker 1 it was like the world and it was us. Is that Jehovah's Witness? No,

Speaker 1 it was a thing called the Church of God in Christ, which was a Pentecostal. So it was very,

Speaker 1 very...

Speaker 1 It's still one of the newer ones. There's these newer ones,

Speaker 1 newer Christian sects. Yeah.
You know, as opposed to the old school Lutheran and Episcopalian and Baptist, the new Pentecostal Jehovah's Witness,

Speaker 1 they get more into that. I mean, I remember Michael Jackson, I think, was Jehovah's Witness.
He was Jehovah's Witness. Like, you can't celebrate birthdays.
Right, right. You couldn't either.

Speaker 1 No, no, this is where we were. We were at this, women couldn't wear makeup, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 We were called holiness, where you couldn't, you had to separate yourself in every way.

Speaker 1 You couldn't play sports, couldn't do any of that so what was wild though is the pastor of that church was a massive crackhead

Speaker 1 bill he actually wrote a book about it how he came out of it how you know but he at the time it was all about restricting everybody everything and he was out doing drugs he was sleeping with with all the women in the church because it's a very female oriented denomination.

Speaker 1 So Church of God and Christ, the guys were like, I ain't going there.

Speaker 1 But it was like he had all these women to himself and

Speaker 1 it was so foul what he did. I mean, it was, and people saw him at the crack house.
They were like, ain't you the pastor? Church of God in Christ, ain't that you? And he's, oh,

Speaker 1 excuse me. And this is a common theme, you know what I mean? Very, very common theme.
And I grew up. And that's one of the reasons why I was like, this drug thing.

Speaker 1 Because again, I grew up, this guy

Speaker 1 ruined lives.

Speaker 1 My ears always

Speaker 1 perk up when I hear about just the way guys

Speaker 1 have scams to get laid. Like,

Speaker 1 there should be a scam store where you can go and you could pick out like cops.

Speaker 1 That's a scam to get laid. Politicians,

Speaker 1 pastor, you know, the church, yoga teachers.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Wait.
Come on. First of all, trainers trainers

Speaker 1 photographers

Speaker 1 and oh this is what I love acting coaches acting

Speaker 1 oh that's one of the biggest scams out here directors

Speaker 1 but I mean but that's a little different because they you really want to be a director it's just like a side day it comes with it I feel like these other things it's like no I'm gonna do this thing because it's the way I can get laid straight up I mean it was so wild i went to audit these acting classes you know because they were like man you know you need to take classes the whole thing.

Speaker 1 And I had already been acting, but I was like, let me try this out. I saw this dude literally just hit on every woman in the room.

Speaker 1 And it's real, let me see your emotion. I know.
Come here, come here, honey. Come here, honey.
And holding the hand. I'm going, oh, no, dog.

Speaker 1 I was like, my wife will never be in this class.

Speaker 1 He was after the draws, 100%.

Speaker 1 I was like, no.

Speaker 1 But you're right about the scams. It's,

Speaker 1 And I must say,

Speaker 1 as the guy who is, we're not going to agree on religion or many things. And that's great.
We can still be friends. That's why this is a great way to do this

Speaker 1 and just talk it out. But I've always been an atheist and a religious skeptic.
And

Speaker 1 I find

Speaker 1 those kind of scams when they're involved with religion to be kind of the scuzziest because you are pretending to be actually more moral. I mean, you're putting yourself on this plateau.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's how priests get to fuck kids because we trust them more than anybody else. Like, you know, would you like to take my kid away on a weekend trip?

Speaker 1 Sure, of course. You're the priest.
What could happen?

Speaker 1 It's almost the worst way to do it. I mean, it's a tough one.
Well, the thing is, it's just, listen, if you got a game, if you,

Speaker 1 thing is I appreciate is honesty. Like, me too.
If you want to do your craziness and do it, this is one, and this is why I like you, Bill. I'll be honest.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't smoke weed, but I don't mind that you do. Right.
I don't mind talking to people who don't agree the same thing.

Speaker 1 In fact, I want to learn something. Me too.
I want to learn something. Thank you.
Like, show me something, the world in a different way.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 when you telling me you're about this,

Speaker 1 and then you're obviously not.

Speaker 1 That's the thing I got a problem with man.

Speaker 1 Like, yo, it's like, don't tell me you've never hit hit a woman and then they catch you on a video at a hotel room and in a hotel lobby and you're smacking the people around

Speaker 1 kicking and you know what I know he just you know

Speaker 1 for me

Speaker 1 that's the worst like to me that kind of game that you want to play. Yeah, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's certainly not good, but I mean, I find the hypocrisy in the church worse than the music industry because I sort of expect the music industry.

Speaker 1 I mean, how and by the way, how the Me Too movement, you know, which you had a little

Speaker 1 cameo in. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I had a starring role. Let's just say

Speaker 1 the male, starring male role in that whole thing. I mean, I was going to say,

Speaker 1 how it has taken this long to get to the music industry. I mean, they went for the movie industry, Harvey Weinstein and actors.
And then it, you know, went media.

Speaker 1 We certainly got we got people from NPR. You know, we got 80-year-old guys who were posting limericks, Garrison Keillor.
They can't, I mean, they were scrutinizing.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's amazing the inconsistency, I think, in the whole movement. And they got some true monsters.
And they also caught in the net some people who really shouldn't have been caught in the net.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 but the epicenter. of the corruption of that kind of treating women as bad as you can is the music industry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 It's right in the song.

Speaker 1 Most of the time it's right in the lyrics. And you go, did you hear what he just said? Right.
Yes. And

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 but your thing was, no, what is it? You got your dick grabbed by an agent? Is that well? That's right, right. Not only an agent, he was the head.
of the motion picture department at William Morris,

Speaker 1 a place that I had been for years that I

Speaker 1 William Morris Endeavor, because I brought them millions of dollars.

Speaker 1 And I'm at a bent. Listen, I don't drink, don't smoke, never been high in my life ever.
Oh, never. Ever, never.
No. It's just not my thing.
I mean, I get high on working out. I totally, exactly.

Speaker 1 It's me.

Speaker 1 Listen, I spend three hours in the gym and I feel like, oh, I got a great buzz. Right.
My drug of choice is drugs.

Speaker 1 But one reason why that's okay for me is because I've never, I know that sounds counterintuitive, had an addictive personality. I really don't.

Speaker 1 I use drugs situationally and I don't even, I mean, it's been years since I did anything except pot and liquor.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm 68 years old, and I'm not stupid, and I want to live, and I want to be healthy. So people like me who can have, anyway, let's get back to your, let's get back to your ball.

Speaker 1 No, no, yeah, let's get back to it. Well, first of all, I, again, was there with my wife.

Speaker 1 What's the event? This is a party with Adam Sandler. For his movie?

Speaker 1 No, it was like a, we were,

Speaker 1 we had just wrapped something, but it was just like a get-together. Like, he gets all the guys from Happy Madison together.
At the agency? The whole thing.

Speaker 1 And there was a, well, Adam Bennett, who was the agent there, who's head of the motion picture department, who...

Speaker 1 who's Adam's agent, who had, or he was, he had Eddie Murphy, he had Stallone, all these people I worked with. Right.
And I'd done movies with.

Speaker 1 And he was out of his mind. Like, I don't know what he was doing.
I don't know what he was on. Right.

Speaker 1 He was tweaking. It was weird.
He came up to me. He was like,

Speaker 1 he's just sticking his tongue out. Going crack with your pastor? And I'm going.
Yeah, you see what I mean? I got flashbacks. I was like, am I in church right now? What is happening?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's looking at me from across the room and he's sticking his tongue out. Like,

Speaker 1 I'm going, hey, whoa. And I'm just looking like, now, you got to understand, Bill, like, I'm the only black man in the room.

Speaker 1 You, like, the way you walked in, you're like, whoa, look at this big, whoa, what? That's how everybody was. I didn't think that.
No, no, no. What I mean is you're like, look at you.

Speaker 1 Wow, he's muscular.

Speaker 1 So I stood out. I know what to expect with you.
What I mean is I stood out.

Speaker 1 Okay. I was there.
Right. And, but it was a room full of white people.
Okay. And I was just like,

Speaker 1 why is this dude pinpointing me? Like, what is this?

Speaker 1 And then he comes over and and i had never met him so i put my hand out like hey man how you doing he's like

Speaker 1 and grabs all of my junk and i'm going yo yo yo get back man whoa hey yeah and my wife is like what is going on and then he's like and he comes back again

Speaker 1 and i'm like and he i say yo now look I pushed him back so forcefully that he bounced around a little bit with other people because it was packed vent.

Speaker 1 It was at this place, the Huntington, something, what is it, Huntington? It's not even there anymore, off La Cieneka, on the top of La Cienega.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, yo, man, what is your fucking problem, right?

Speaker 1 And he just had he starts laughing. He starts laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.
I don't know what to tell you, dude. No, I'm glad you did because hearing it from you,

Speaker 1 I'm totally on your side. I'd only heard like, you know, as we all do, the headlines, you know, the clickbait.
And it was just like, oh, a guy grabbed this guy. Was it a joke?

Speaker 1 The way you described it, because I've seen this guy, not this, not this, but you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I've seen

Speaker 1 guys

Speaker 1 in public places who are so fucked up on something. And they, you know, I've been drunk enough to like, I'm sure, be obnoxious at times, but not like that ever.

Speaker 1 But I don't, but that's a different kind of drug, probably. And they really don't know what they're doing and they're saying, and they think it's funny.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure whether this guy was truly sexually charged up by you or it was a gay thing.

Speaker 1 It sounds like he just thought, oh, this is a macho guy. And I'm this big agent, and he'll find this funny.
And yeah.

Speaker 1 I felt like his fantasy. Like, you know,

Speaker 1 he was like, no, I don't want to go there. I don't want, I'm not, this is not happening.

Speaker 1 And this is another thing that flipped me out. I'm like, dude,

Speaker 1 you're the head of the motion picture department. Like, I pay you.

Speaker 1 It's like, listen, man, I don't go to Vaughn's to get molested by the cashier. You know what I mean? I'm giving you money.
And he's like, come here.

Speaker 1 Like, dude, what in the world? Right. I pay.
You work for me. Right.

Speaker 1 How can you even, where's the joke here? Like, how do you think this is funny?

Speaker 1 No, that's drugs. You understand what I'm saying? Like, that's what I mean.
I said, something off. No, I'm telling you, I've seen this guy.

Speaker 1 I haven't been as victim of it like this as you have, but I certainly have had guys. I've left many a party in this town.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because somebody just would not leave me alone.

Speaker 1 And usually it's because they think they're a big fan.

Speaker 1 This guy probably thought he was a big fan. Right.
I mean, really big.

Speaker 1 He wanted your dick.

Speaker 1 But like, I have left parties because they just, they, and they don't, they cannot take a hint because they're fucked up. Yep.
And they're,

Speaker 1 they're fucked up plus they're starstruck.

Speaker 1 And the combination is deadly. And they want to be around you.
And they just, or they just, they're, what they, they just do the thing that, I don't know, they, they have this idea in their head.

Speaker 1 Everybody, this guy's a star. Everybody kisses their ass.
I'm going to be different and be obnoxious. That's a lot of it.
I'm going to be different. Yes, you are.
And I'm leaving and suing you.

Speaker 1 But listen, but this is a whole nother matter, though. I mean, that's still a guy who you don't pay.
Like, that's not your employee doing that. Right, you're right.
Imagine.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hey, man, get the fuck out. And he grabs me again.
Right.

Speaker 1 I'm like, all right, now.

Speaker 1 Now we have a problem. Now we have a major, major problem.
Well, he's lucky you didn't knock his teeth. See, this is the same thing.
You're a big guy. You got to understand.

Speaker 1 But then it would have been, you were smart not to. See, this is what I said.
And this is what I told everyone. and this is what i

Speaker 1 bill

Speaker 1 would you have believed me if i would have knocked every tooth out of his mouth would you have believed me does it

Speaker 1 if we had talked like this definitely but

Speaker 1 but the story the next day that's why people have to come here this is what it is it is true first of all the podcasts weren't that popular i understand i'm just saying this is the clearinghouse for actual honesty no one no but also it would have become a giant i mean, it was a minor story.

Speaker 1 It was a story, but it wasn't.

Speaker 1 It would have been all over because it would have been racial.

Speaker 1 And that's what America feeds on. That's what the media feeds on.

Speaker 1 And to this, to this. I'm going to be real with you.
That's what they would have played. Yeah.
They would have said, I did nothing.

Speaker 1 I was standing there and he got mad and he was pissed about something.

Speaker 1 Come on, man.

Speaker 1 On MSNBC, it would have been the guy was racist in some way, because that's always their narrative. Sometimes it's true, and it could be true here.
There could be a racial element into it.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can't ignore the fact that, like you said, you're the only black guy, but you're also probably the best-looking guy of any, and the best in shape guy, and the sort of like, you know, there are other things that it could be, could be.

Speaker 1 He was definitely turned on. We know that for a fact.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 From where he went, you're like, okay,

Speaker 1 something was on his mind. Because again, where he was coming at me, he was like, ah, ah.
But again, people can just think they're being funny. They think like, oh, he's an ex-jock.

Speaker 1 I'll do what they did in the locker room.

Speaker 1 It's that kind of stuff. I know these guys in the locker room snapping the towels on their ass.
And it's going to be funny. But this is the thing, man.
I don't think he knew where he was.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with you. No.

Speaker 1 I literally was looking and he was gone. He was laughing like a fool.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't, it was like he was on, he was just tweaking. Hey, man, I know people on crack.
I've seen it.

Speaker 1 And I'm going, oh my God, that dude's hot. He's on something.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the drug is.

Speaker 1 So I'll go to Adam. I'm like, Adam, hey, man, something's wrong with your boy, man.
He's grabbing my nuts. I said, you got to get him or he's going to get killed.
I said, literally. And he said, what?

Speaker 1 What's going on, Terry? What?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And he's looking at him. He's like, yeah, he is fucked up.
He sure is.

Speaker 1 And, but this, but this is the thing, man. Sitting there for a couple minutes,

Speaker 1 like, it started to change in my heart, like in my head, in my, in my belly.

Speaker 1 I was going, I don't, this is, this is so fucked up right now. Like, I felt, I started to get smaller and smaller.
I don't know how to describe it.

Speaker 1 But it wasn't like the party continued. No, I feel you.
You know what I mean? Because I was going, yeah, I felt the same

Speaker 1 to hell. And I sit, and then I'm going, because it started to come to me.

Speaker 1 When you're uncomfortable in a public space, it's one thing being home and being uncomfortable in some way, but when you're a bunch of people, it's the worst. It's the worst.
It's the worst.

Speaker 1 Because it's everything plus they're all going to see it and whatever it is. But this was the thing.
Everybody saw it. Right.
And everybody continued as if it didn't happen.

Speaker 1 And I was a little like,

Speaker 1 I don't like this.

Speaker 1 And then I was, then I wanted revenge. Now,

Speaker 1 in my head, I was like, I got to fuck this dude up. In my head.
That's when you called Will Smith.

Speaker 1 I got a situation. I needed the power of Will at that moment.
Will, I've got a situation. What would be your recommendation to hear? Hey, man, look, can you handle this for me, please?

Speaker 1 First of all, I knew, and this is another thing, because I've been on that dark side. I have a massive temper.
There were times when I would pick people up and slam them on their heads.

Speaker 1 And I've done this many, many times. And this is where

Speaker 1 I had my wife, we've been married 35 years as of end of July. Okay.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 She told me years before this all happened, she made me promise. Because this is after the police had come and after somebody's on the ground.

Speaker 1 And again, she's like, Terry,

Speaker 1 because I felt he had disrespected me and her and the whole thing, but this dude, he ended up on the ground. And she said, Terry, you're going to end up dead.

Speaker 1 You're going to end up in jail. And she was just pregnant with my son at the time.
And he's now 19. He just left the house.
He just went to college.

Speaker 1 But this was 20 years ago. And she was around 20 years ago.
And she said, you have to promise me you will never get violent. She says, we're going to lose everything.

Speaker 1 This was a sit-down. This was a talk.

Speaker 1 This was way before George Floyd. This was way before.
She's like, dude, they won't stop. They will kill you.
Because when she saw the police show up and point their guns right at me,

Speaker 1 and this old white guy came out of the, out of the

Speaker 1 crowd and was like, oh, no, he was messing with them first. And they believed him, but they didn't believe me and my wife.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 On why I put this guy on the ground.

Speaker 1 She said, you know what? She said, you're not going to win. You're never going to win this.
And I promised. I made a promise to her.

Speaker 1 And everything in my head came back that night. And I said, oh, my God,

Speaker 1 I'm going to kill this dude. And she said, she looked at me because she saw the whole thing.
And I grabbed her hand and I said, let's go. Now, I'm going to tell you this, man.
I was in the car.

Speaker 1 I remember pulling the car back up. I got in the car.
I wanted to drive the car back through the club like Terminator. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It never stopped. You know, like, my mind was still going.
I couldn't, I was like, I can't let him get away with this.

Speaker 1 I can't let this happen. Right.

Speaker 1 But I get in the car and all my wife did, and this is, man, I get choked up thinking about it right now. She just kept saying, I'm proud of you.
Right. I'm proud of you.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you.

Speaker 1 Just to just to keep the... like the mental thing because she saw it and she saw me just going, wait, wait.
Like I got up and she's like, I'm so proud. Hey, Terry, I'm proud.
So

Speaker 1 kept, it saved his life. I'm going to tell you that right now.
What are your other memories about working with Jews?

Speaker 1 I kid agents.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I ain't touching that.

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Speaker 1 Look, nobody's been harder on Trump than me, but you know, just putting that aside, the people who hate Trump, One of the big things that they hate about him is that he said, I grab pussies.

Speaker 1 So, like, if we're talking about grabbing crotchal areas,

Speaker 1 I mean, it is, it is kind of

Speaker 1 bipartisan. It's apples to apples.
You know what I mean? It's everywhere. It's apples to apples.

Speaker 1 You don't have to go far to see the hypocrisy there.

Speaker 1 But it all turned out well. I mean, right? The agent.
What happened to the agent? Well,

Speaker 1 what happened is, you know, you don't rob the biggest bank in town.

Speaker 1 What happens is you've robbed a bunch of little ones on the way up. You know what I mean? Me, I'm the city national sitting up on the corner.

Speaker 1 He, what he was doing was all these little ATM hits and all this stuff. And so, what happened is when I decided to sue him,

Speaker 1 and then, and this is the thing, man. Oh, yeah, you did sue.
Oh, yeah. Oh, what you got to understand? They had,

Speaker 1 wasn't, you know, David Pecker and all those guys from the national inquiry, they had them making up stories on me.

Speaker 1 They submit, they said, Terry,

Speaker 1 we have proof that you were in Monaco with two prostitutes. How are you going to handle this story? And we're going to publish it tomorrow.
And I said, well, one prostitute is my wife.

Speaker 1 The other one is my publicist. So

Speaker 1 what are you doing? So what I did, I took the letter they gave me and said they were going to put it, I put it on Twitter. And I said, see this?

Speaker 1 And he was like, I said, so I don't, I'm not scared of that. Right.
And he really thought I was going to be scared of something that was going to be revealed.

Speaker 1 So he started, they started to make stuff up. And I was like, nah, I'm not going to do that.
There's nothing more liberating than honesty. Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 1 You know, like to not have skeletons or, you know, whenever they, if I'm like at a restaurant or something and they're taking pictures, like,

Speaker 1 guys, I'm not gay and I'm not married. I don't know what you think you're getting.

Speaker 1 I like girls. This is, yeah.
Now, this is so what? I got to go back because you said, you know, you don't have an addictive personality, but I do.

Speaker 1 I was addicted to porn.

Speaker 1 I could not stop on pornography. Well, then I take something back.
I am addicted

Speaker 1 because I'm addicted to porn. And I don't see, first of all, I don't see it as an addiction.

Speaker 1 It's something I enjoy on a daily basis.

Speaker 1 Why is it a porn?

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you why.
A lot of this stuff in the religion world and the whole thing.

Speaker 1 You know, sex was also something we never talked about

Speaker 1 at home. Nothing about it.
Never. To this day, I never had a talk with my parents about it.
Are you saying it?

Speaker 1 Are you doing it? And I'm like, nope, nope, not doing it. I'm good.

Speaker 1 We never did either. And I discovered it at my uncle's house.
It had a chest. Discovered what? It's porn.
Straight up. Porn.
Magazine.

Speaker 1 Weed, player, Playboy, all this stuff. In the old days, I was probably nine, 10 years old.
Okay, that's a little early for caring about that. I was messed up.
Like, it literally changed my brain.

Speaker 1 because the thing is you have to be over 18 but nobody discovers porn at 18 you're always a little bit before that or more well i'm a little older than you when i when i first discovered it it was a little past past nine i was still into baseball cards i think but by 11 yes i was and all we had was like to some if somebody had a playboy and it was so tame i mean it was

Speaker 1 back then there wasn't even any pubic hair for me i mean again at 10 years old nine ten years old looking at hustler and we and player which was a whole like this was another thing

Speaker 1 I remember we yeah I'm trying to tell you yeah I have one I think I saved it because Demi Moore

Speaker 1 was on the cover she was 19.

Speaker 1 You know what? You're going to send me back into it.

Speaker 1 This is so good. They call this recall.
This is called this euphoric recall. I can't do this.

Speaker 1 I can't talk about this this stuff because it's like, oh.

Speaker 1 But let me get to the point because the point was

Speaker 1 the porn was something that was activated in me. And I said, and I felt guilty all the time.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, what happens is you, you, you, and I remember watching, like, looking at it and the whole thing. And then when my mother would come pick me up, I was at my uncle's house.

Speaker 1 My mother would pick me up. I'll slam it down.
I'll never do it again. Never do it again.
But I couldn't stop thinking. But why would you feel guilty? Why was it wrong? What was it wrong?

Speaker 1 Again, because what was wrong with that religious mode, you know, where you're in the world where it's like, no, good people don't do this, right?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it just kept me on this thing, man. And I'm going to tell you, then we had the Playboy channel.
Like, this is when cable, the early days of cable. I remember that in New York.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 First, I figured out, and this is one thing that everybody in the world, all my kids, all my friends as kids, we figured out if the cable bot, if you held the channels in between,

Speaker 1 the blurred pictures would come in clear. All you had to do was hold the channel in between the channels, like just the whole bit.
And all that would come out. So here I am.

Speaker 1 I'm at 11, 12, watching like these pornographic movies like Alice in Wonderland or Snow White and Seven Dwarfs and all this. But it wasn't hardcore.
They were more like sexy

Speaker 1 hardcore R-rated, yeah, but it was still like, I couldn't get enough,

Speaker 1 Bill. I could not.
I was like, Yeah, I couldn't either, and I did not find it a problem.

Speaker 1 But I mean, but for me, but this is what I think: Washington's dumb about a problem.

Speaker 1 It becomes a problem when I couldn't tell anyone, like me. Like, you could say, I couldn't tell you,

Speaker 1 I couldn't tell anyone either. Who's I going to tell? My mother, my father,

Speaker 1 even my friends. But it was when you're that horny at that age.
I was. Of course, we all are.
I was. And you just have to, and so your dick gets hard anyway.

Speaker 1 You, you know, of course it's like a cow that needs to be milked, but you've got to do it.

Speaker 1 But, but it was the at the same time, but you didn't have somebody always telling you you shouldn't be doing this. You understand what I mean?

Speaker 1 I mean, I was raised Catholic, so it wasn't going to be completely. No, I didn't.
I mean, certainly.

Speaker 1 Catholics, for us, where we were, we looked at Catholics like, yo, wow, y'all, y'all out there. You do whatever you want.

Speaker 1 compared to where we were.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 No, we always looked at, oh, Catholics.

Speaker 1 They're smoking and drinking.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 you couldn't even drink. You couldn't have, you couldn't smoke.
We do it in the church. We drink.

Speaker 1 No one. But yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You guys,

Speaker 1 they would look at Catholics like, oh, my God, that's crazy. No, if you can't wear makeup and you can't dance, I mean, that's very, that's footloose shit.
It was, it was footloose. It was Amish.

Speaker 1 It was,

Speaker 1 or it was jehovah's witness it was a snap it was a smidgen of all that so all i could do was sit down and shut up but now you're free of all that right all free you're free of all that's free but that was part of the rehab part but because

Speaker 1 it took me years to get out of that because i i learned to have a secret life you understand what i mean like even when i was married sure

Speaker 1 As a married man, I knew, okay, I could never tell her this.

Speaker 1 I could never reveal this.

Speaker 1 This could never ever. So I realized I had to be one face to her

Speaker 1 and another face.

Speaker 1 I certainly know that syndrome. I certainly know that feeling.
And that's, it took me a long time in life to realize this, that, like, as long as it's that way, that's not the right relationship.

Speaker 1 As long as you have this.

Speaker 1 kind of always walking on eggshells around a lot of topics. Like, you know, if I just even mention about an old girlfriend or something, I know it's just going to cause a chill in the room.

Speaker 1 That is not the right girl for you. For me anyway.
I mean,

Speaker 1 but you should, first of all, the key to a relationship is intimacy. Meaning you,

Speaker 1 I know I could see you for who you are, honestly. You see me for who I am, honestly.
And you love me anyway, like good and bad. Right.
You know what I mean? Like, that doesn't mean you're perfect.

Speaker 1 That means

Speaker 1 she got this issue, whatever, but I know it. And I'm fine with it.

Speaker 1 And you make the decision to be fine with it. And she knows you got these issues and whole thing, but she makes the decision.
Like,

Speaker 1 I choose to be with you anyway. Okay, but

Speaker 1 one

Speaker 1 bad thing that many women would say about men, if we're going to be honest about accepting what's bad, is that...

Speaker 1 We do find other women attractive. Not that women don't find other men attractive.
They do too. They just are a little more constant, shall we say.

Speaker 1 It's in the biology of just like, it's not good to have like a million different dicks in you.

Speaker 1 Whereas our biology is quite different. Unless you can be honest with a woman,

Speaker 1 unless you can say to her

Speaker 1 just what you would say to a guy. And I know this is asking the world to most women are like, Bill, you are nuts.
Well, maybe I am, but I've tried the other way and it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't want to be able to not be able to be like, wow, that girl's hot and have the girl I'm with be like,

Speaker 1 I'm going home.

Speaker 1 It's like, of course, yeah, it doesn't mean I'm going to fuck her or hit on her.

Speaker 1 But let's not make me pretend. Right.
Because when once you start with the pretending, it never ends. Well, I pretended.

Speaker 1 I pretended for 20 years. I pretended I didn't see nothing.
I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 I didn't do anything. I don't know anything.
And I lied my asshole. Well, I'm also, I'm sure you also had the issue

Speaker 1 that many men, most men don't have to deal with, which is that I'm sure the girls are attracted to you. And they, and they, and especially once you become famous,

Speaker 1 they are going to like,

Speaker 1 shall we say, make themselves very available to you. That's very,

Speaker 1 I had a rock star here, Daryl Hall, one night, and I said, you know, you rock stars, I mean, when the women are throwing at stuff like that, when you're a giant giant rock star how can you resist and he went you absolutely can't

Speaker 1 he said you know it's it's at a point where you cannot even try it's just I'm gonna tell you this though man and this is this is kind of weird because and this is where I I'm a lot different

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 this is something I heard on um with Andrew Huberman he was talking about how um

Speaker 1 the way porn works is that you get used to watch like you whatever you're looking at is what turns you on. So, if you're watching people have sex,

Speaker 1 it's better than actually having sex. Like, if that's what you're into, you know what I mean? Like, if it's like, if you're watching that.

Speaker 1 And so, he's saying it's weird because now this is why a lot of men have a lot of issues because they don't really want to actually have actual sex. It's like, I'd much rather you, right?

Speaker 1 I'd rather be a voyeur. I'd rather kind of watch it and then jack off or whatever.

Speaker 1 Because that's taper.

Speaker 1 Because I really, I would, I, I mean, I would look at it like, these chicks, what does this girl's got an STD?

Speaker 1 I'm a health nut. I'm also a health nut.
So I was always like, uh, I don't know who you've been with. I don't know what you're about.

Speaker 1 That would always keep me from actual.

Speaker 1 But you can have sex that's safe. Yes, you can.
You can't. You can even fantasize about it.

Speaker 1 But again, when you're talking about porn, it's too easy.

Speaker 1 It's so easy.

Speaker 1 It's safe.

Speaker 1 You feel like, hey, man, man, let me just...

Speaker 1 It is a big problem that kids

Speaker 1 have this kind of explicit porn from the moment they reach puberty. You see, I'm in a clear because it was...
I never even looked at it on the computer until about five years ago.

Speaker 1 I was still with magazines. You're kidding.
That was my era. You're kidding.
And I was afraid of the computer and still am a little.

Speaker 1 I don't like anything that, like, they might be looking at me and there could be cookies and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 And what if they, you know, you know that the Republican convention is going on right now? Yeah. And their platform

Speaker 1 is super hard on pornography. You probably love it.
I haven't seen it. Yeah, I haven't watched that.

Speaker 1 But I don't think you do because you're for freedom for other people. It's just not for you.
But they want to outlaw. I mean, this

Speaker 1 vice president, J.D. Vance, they talk about porn like this is something that should be outlawed.
You can't do that. You can't do that.
You can't because you got to see. not the way it is.

Speaker 1 If you know the way the mind works, as soon as you restrict it, you want it more.

Speaker 1 This is the way of doing it. I could not possibly want it more.

Speaker 1 I already want it maximum.

Speaker 1 No, believe me, if someone all of a sudden said you can't, it's all you think about. It's every no, I'd be in the street.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 A porn flag. I'd become a one-inch candidate.
Trust me, this would be an issue that would get a lot of people to the ballot box. Hey,

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, that's why I'm not against, like, you can't,

Speaker 1 it's freedom for everything. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 But for me, and this is the, I'm the kind of guy when the computer came out, I would wait a half hour for a computer image to download.

Speaker 1 and be sitting there waiting for it to come. It's the early days of like dial-in and, you know,

Speaker 1 AOL.

Speaker 1 that just shows you gotta take a half hour for a picture to come in it was bad i must say that oh my internet it wasn't a you know the wi-fi was non-existent you had to plug in and it was just like it was

Speaker 1 the images would come in slowly see you only knew it five years ago in the early days like in the early late 90s

Speaker 1 It took a freaking 15 to 20 to a half hour for an image to come in. I blame racism.

Speaker 1 I'm saying that's how bad. But I wouldn't show that.

Speaker 1 But I would freaking wait. And see, again, man, I knew I had a problem when you go into like bookstores and you, and you just, and I'm already famous, but I felt weird.
You know what?

Speaker 1 And people are like, hey, I have to tell you something that you'll find. So let me grab your balls.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I used to go out.

Speaker 1 This is the days when porn movies were on VHS. Right.

Speaker 1 I would go out on Halloween when I could be in a full mask to buy the porn for the whole year. You see what I mean? You see? I hadn't thought of that.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 It's coming back to you. With a fucking like the from

Speaker 1 the scream guy. Nobody knows.
I'm good. And you would go in and just get the whole year's worth.
See,

Speaker 1 talk about, hey, that wasn't honest.

Speaker 1 Who says we haven't made progress? Okay. Now I...
See, that's me. Like, I would get my hat and have a ritual.
You know what I mean? And it was dark. And it was a lie to my wife.

Speaker 1 No one knew. But see, I mean, I feel like

Speaker 1 when you're in a relationship, it's even more necessary because the relationship, of course, there's no variety there. We know this is the big problem that many people have.

Speaker 1 I don't know anyone who hasn't, you know, had to deal with that in some way, that you're going to, as the years go by, you know, it's just inevitable. You know the person better.

Speaker 1 You've had sex many times. It can't be quite as,

Speaker 1 you know, maybe it can up and down a little, but basically, you know, I always say a sex life is like a dog.

Speaker 1 You want it to live forever. I mean, you love the thing so much.
It's so great. You know, and who doesn't love a puppy? But at some point, you know, that dog is going to die.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry you're gonna keep living but the dog does not live forever i know that's a horrible listen i i i'm this is where i want to give you my perspective which blew me away because i i felt the same way you with what you just said i think like my my sex is dead and we were 20 years married and our marriage was basically over

Speaker 1 i mean really it was literally done we like

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 but this was the thing and this is one reason why i went to this rehab to i kind of learn how what made me tick. I went on a sex fast, okay?

Speaker 1 90 days,

Speaker 1 just like

Speaker 1 anybody from a drug or alcohol or when you clean out or whatever.

Speaker 1 And I said, okay, I'm going to make it through this 90 days, no sex. But my wife is still there.
So it was still like, okay, the desire is there.

Speaker 1 But what was funny, and listen, I don't know if this was just my makeup or, or, you know, I was just what I could do.

Speaker 1 But all of a sudden, I started to see her as if, you know, when you were a kid and you were like 10 years old and there's another girl you liked and you gave her a flower and it didn't have anything to do with sex.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. You see what I mean? There was a moment where you're like, I just like you.
Right. I think you're beautiful and I just want to be your friend.

Speaker 1 After 45 days, 50 days, 60 days, it turned into that.

Speaker 1 Like, I was was like, I saw her for her.

Speaker 1 Whereas before, I was like, I saw her in positions and saw it up and I'm getting bored with that. But now all of a sudden, it was like, you're so beautiful, like, it's a person.

Speaker 1 And I was like, and I saw her as a true human being that I could really love and appreciate.

Speaker 1 And then I knew, I said, I think I crossed the, I think I, I turned a corner here. Like, it's almost like,

Speaker 1 you know, people who've been drinking Coke so long,

Speaker 1 the water is like, I don't want this water stuff. And then all of a sudden, you haven't had it in a while.
You're like, man, it's some good water.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you,

Speaker 1 you just made a lot of panties wet.

Speaker 1 That's not a scam. That's not a scam.

Speaker 1 I know it's not. But as long as we're talking about porn, that was lady porn.
First of all, that's what they wanted. Hey, man.

Speaker 1 That's what my acting coach would have. He would have told a story like that.
Not only, hey, girl,

Speaker 1 I see you as this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, it sounded a little acting

Speaker 1 no i i agree no there's many no i i no scared i see the difference but but and then now you get again

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 it changed the nature of our relationship

Speaker 1 because then now and this is another thing too i didn't go there to save my marriage like my marriage was over and everything in me was like hey man hollywood doesn't care and now i can get any girl i want you know what i mean like at first that was the the thought.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And I was like, but then all of a sudden, it made me think, damn, you know,

Speaker 1 what if it's me? Like, because before it was like, it's her,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? Like, it's her.

Speaker 1 She doesn't turn me on anymore. And maybe she's always whining about this.
And now I can be free. And now I can be honest without her ball and check.

Speaker 1 But the problem was, and this is the thing, and this is what I discovered in all this stuff. It had shit to do with her.

Speaker 1 It was all me. Wow.
It's all me.

Speaker 1 It was all me.

Speaker 1 And nothing was wrong with her.

Speaker 1 She's just being who she is. She's honest from the get-go.
It's me who's lying. Like the phrase I would say is, you know, like, why does she believe me?

Speaker 1 But the question I should have been asking is, why am I lying?

Speaker 1 You understand what I mean? Well, I can answer that because you have to. Because if you don't,

Speaker 1 that's my thing about, wow, that girl's hot. You have to lie about that.
Do you think think that girl's hot? No, you're the only beautiful girl in the world. Yeah, lie.
Yeah, that's a lot of people.

Speaker 1 But are you are you responsible for that lie? Or is the person who is making you lie, unless they're going to get a puss on their face for the rest of the night, unless you do the lie?

Speaker 1 We have to both take, participate in the lie if for that reason.

Speaker 1 You are right on that respect, but this is the thing. I would never, I don't have to lie to my wife about whether a woman is pretty or not.
I'll tell her, that woman's beautiful.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And she can be like, yep.

Speaker 1 In fact, she'll tell me she's so pretty. But she also knows, wait a minute, this dude can hold out for me.
Like, she knows I waited 90 days. It's almost more of a compliment.

Speaker 1 Yes, that other woman is beautiful. And no, I don't want her.
Right. And now,

Speaker 1 right. You see, and to me, that made it deeper.
You know what I mean? Oh, we're getting deep here. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 What's he done?

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Speaker 1 That's another thing too, man. I mean, it also comes with age.
You know, I'm 56. Yes.
I'll be 56 at the end of the day. No, it's the best age.
And I'm. It really is.

Speaker 1 20. I was stupid.
You're so. 20.

Speaker 1 How about 30? 54. Let's go there.
I'll leave it.

Speaker 1 At the beginning. You know, I'm not even so sure about 50, but like, yes.
I mean, it's not great. when you

Speaker 1 have less days than you, you know, as I always say, less tomorrow's than yesterdays. But the wisdom, the comfort in your own skin, I mean, you're actually happier.
Hey, man.

Speaker 1 You're actually more cool with your, that's life every day.

Speaker 1 And you have more. You've accumulated more, more money, more friends, more respect, more.

Speaker 1 Listen, another fact, you've seen the cats didn't make it and why they didn't.

Speaker 1 You lived long enough

Speaker 1 to watch cats fall. Oh, yes.
And I've seen, I'm going, oh, snap. Like, no.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's the thing about America. I mean, we got a zillion problems there's no doubt about it but it is still a place and the reason why people still love it where you can reinvent yourself

Speaker 1 you certainly did yeah and every day is sort of a new coin for the pinball machine you know you can keep playing a lot of countries you're like sort of set at 18 when you your life is sort of mapped out and here we are free in that way

Speaker 1 i mean you know

Speaker 1 it's it's not corny or conservative to say you're lucky to be an American in 2024. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 But, you know,

Speaker 1 there's a lot of people who feel like, oh, man, you know, the country's done a lot of bad things. I'm going to tell you a story, man.
This is so crazy.

Speaker 1 One thing that blows my mind is that, you know, There are a lot of people who I saw, there was a video on TikTok about these black guys. They were amazing dancers, man.

Speaker 1 Like they were, they were like the the mitchell brothers but there was some another group but they were just the big band was behind them and they were doing all these amazing splits and flipping of each other it was art it was 100 art

Speaker 1 and people were in the comments were like too bad they were oppressed

Speaker 1 and i just went i know it's hey man hold up like

Speaker 1 this is this is the thing

Speaker 1 too bad they couldn't go to the fountain and you're like man wait wait interest dude can't injure you know and this is the thing that blew my mind my uncle he told me he said man you don't understand these people

Speaker 1 back in the day they were our heroes they were the fact that we saw

Speaker 1 if you played a maid in the movie right we cheered yep we cheered we were like that's wow

Speaker 1 Look at her. And we were in the second balcony.

Speaker 1 We couldn't go down on the first balcony, but we were up in the roof on the second balcony because we weren't allowed to go down there, but we were happy. These were our heroes.

Speaker 1 And you want to talk, and what happens is everybody's all so like everything at its time

Speaker 1 was what the best it could be. You understand what I mean? And everything continues to grow and continue.
Of course, we wouldn't do that now. Of course, there's a lot of things.

Speaker 1 There's so many things that I wouldn't do that I could do now that I wouldn't have done 10 years ago. But we're all growing and we're learning.

Speaker 1 But to go in hindsight and pick everything apart and not give them the props that they have for being as great as they were. It says that's what I hate most about wokeism.

Speaker 1 It's just such performance art. You know, it's like you don't really care about solving anything.
You just want to pick apart something in a way that can make you feel morally superior.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't change anything or mean anything.

Speaker 1 If I watch Gone with the the wind it doesn't mean i'm a racist it just means you're oh you watch gone with the wind you're a bad i'm not a bad person i'm a sentient person who understands it was made in 1939 but see i'm gonna tell you man and i'm and this is between me and you and everybody who's watching see what i mean about this show

Speaker 1 that's what damn it that's why

Speaker 1 you sucked me that's why it's that's why it's good you sucked me into the hole because you love it you have nothing to hide i know i'm gonna tell you I'm going to tell you, that stuff is religion.

Speaker 1 It's the same thing. You're up when you're totally.
It's the same. If you don't do,

Speaker 1 where I was from, you couldn't play sports. You couldn't internet.
Now, you can't go see what I've got with the wind. You can't do that.
You can't like this guy. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 And I'm going, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's the same rules.
And I went, oh, my God, it's a new religion. It's a new religion.

Speaker 1 You know, John McWhorter, the great author? I mean, his book was called The Religion of Anti-Racism. Wow.

Speaker 1 I mean, another thing I really hate about those far-left types is they hate me because I won't hate someone else.

Speaker 1 You know, like people I'm supposed to hate, and I won't hate them. They're mad at me that I won't hate Elon Musk now, because, I mean, he has gone completely conservative.

Speaker 1 You know, he's contributing to Trump and everything. But no, I'm sorry, I don't hate him, and I will never hate him.

Speaker 1 I'd love to talk to him about it, and we might. I mean, I've talked to him many times.
But

Speaker 1 this, I hate you because you don't hate someone who's on our list of the deplorables who we hate.

Speaker 1 I don't want any part of this America. Listen, when I was a kid, we hated Catholics.
Really?

Speaker 1 Again, we thought you were wild. We thought...
As a Christian, we're the church. Well, what do you think of the Jews? Well, see, that's...

Speaker 1 But listen, man, I'm trying to tell you how dangerous this stuff is. When you're talking about

Speaker 1 the way we grew up, we knew the answers. Everybody else was wrong.
Every religion says that.

Speaker 1 And every religion says that's the thing that makes religion so dangerous is to believe all the things they believe that are so existential, like how we got here and who God favors and who's the chosen and all this kind of stuff, you have to believe that only you have the answer.

Speaker 1 You can't believe, well, it's debatable. It's not debatable.
You ask so many of those jihadis, like, why do you want to blood the why? Because Islam is the superior. It's

Speaker 1 ready to blow you up. And they're ready to kill you.

Speaker 1 They love the word supremacist these days. And there is racial supremacists here in this country still, and people sometimes lean that way.
And yeah, we still have work to do.

Speaker 1 But what's really supremist is religion.

Speaker 1 Religion is totally supremacist. It's like our God is the best.
No argument, we're not debating that. We'll debate like how we treat the people who aren't real believers.

Speaker 1 Maybe we'll be nice to them, or maybe the infidel should be smited with extreme prejudice. Maybe.
That's what I grew up in.

Speaker 1 That's, dude, let me tell you, I get triggered even to this day about certain things. And I hear certain words and I'm like, hey, hey, hey, what do you mean by that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 And this is the thing. I still, I am not an atheist.
I still believe in God. Of course not.
But I think people mess this stuff up. Okay.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, for me, I think it's always like my pastor who ended up on crack and sleeping with half women in the church. Pastor Fuzz.
You know what I mean? Like, it's like, hey, man,

Speaker 1 he didn't live by the words he was saying.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Every pastor, very few religious people. There are some.
There are sincere people. And

Speaker 1 absolutely sincere priests.

Speaker 1 But I tell you this, man, and I see where this stuff goes and how it sounds exactly the same.

Speaker 1 These extremes on both sides have made me go, there's no nuance. Can we bring nuance back into conversation? My whole life.
This is one reason I'm even sitting. I'm sitting here with you today.

Speaker 1 You know why I signed this book to you? Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 I hope this is the one I

Speaker 1 and you know what, man, Bill? I got to tell you, man. But this is all about nuance.
And let's not, my book, I'm plugging it now.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, man, one thing I admire about this. What this comedian said was, you know,

Speaker 1 it's eight weeks now on the best on the list. I'm very proud of it.
You'll love it. You're going to love it.
First of all,

Speaker 1 I got to give you

Speaker 1 your props because you took the heat head on. You keep taking it head on,

Speaker 1 which is a whole nother level of courage. I got to give you a props.
Thank you. Because all you can say, anybody, no matter, anybody can say they don't like you,

Speaker 1 but they can't say

Speaker 1 you're not courageous or that I'm not honest. Even my enemies don't say that.
Even my enemies don't say I'm a liar.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I'll respect that. It's also liberating.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 there are certain things that you have to sacrifice for that because America is so tribal.

Speaker 1 So if you're not in one of the two main camps, it's a little like I've compared it in this book, I think I compared it to the, to prison, where like, you can't just, you have to, if you're not with the Muslim Brotherhood, you're with the Aryans.

Speaker 1 You know, there's no like, hey, I agree with everybody. I think everybody should get along.
You know, that doesn't happen in prison. And the country is getting like that.

Speaker 1 But I do speak for a different group. There is a large group in the middle who are not ideologically captured and have had it with both fringes, which control the debate way too much.

Speaker 1 And that's who I speak for. They're Democrats, Independents, non-drooling Republicans.
They're all welcome in my tent. And I don't, they appreciate that I don't hold my tongue on either side.

Speaker 1 And they're new, you mentioned nuance. Exactly.
They get it that when I go after the left, it doesn't mean I'm a Republican now. That's true.
Because I'm not.

Speaker 1 It just means I'm not, I mean, for the last year when I've been...

Speaker 1 trying to get Biden out of the race because he is too old and I thought I had the stature to say because I was always so against ageism, but I always said it's a case by case. This is the case.

Speaker 1 And people would be like, oh, Bill,

Speaker 1 don't make jokes about Biden's age. It'll help Trump.
Right, like we wouldn't have noticed.

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Speaker 1 Terms, conditions, message, and data rates may apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'll be at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in Atlanta on September 7th, September 8th, the Riverside in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and September 28th, the Orpheum Theater in Memphis, Tennessee.

Speaker 1 September 29th, the Taft Theater in Cincinnati, Ohio. And November 1st and 2nd at the David Copperfield at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.
But I got to tell you this, when I was a kid,

Speaker 1 they knew the pastor was doing all these things. And they were like, can't say anything bad about them because,

Speaker 1 you know, and I went, but

Speaker 1 we're the ones who should. You're right.

Speaker 1 You know, like, we're the ones who here. We're in the church.
We see it. Right.
And we weren't allowed. And I go, that's just a sign of what extreme religiosity is.

Speaker 1 They did the same thing with Jim Jones, the same thing with David Koresh. No one could say it.
And people died.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, man,

Speaker 1 I just have to start with me because I know that I was, there was a time when I was fake. You know what I mean? Like, like that time,

Speaker 1 because again, I didn't go with all this stuff to get my wife back. It was like, I need to be a better person.
Like, I was like, I don't like me. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I don't like this dishonest, sneaky version of me. And then, but see, Hollywood doesn't care.
Like, that helped you. Hollywood loves that.
That's what I'm saying. They're like, dude, that's

Speaker 1 cool. Being in a movie.

Speaker 1 Hey, man, how many love stories are made by people who molested many people? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Listen, Miramax made plenty of love movies. Plenty of love stories.
And they were like in the back alley.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I said, I can't. And that was a quick, that was the big thing for me, man.
Like I hit this thing where I had to decide, I was like, I'm out. I'm out.
This is one reason why, and because I had this

Speaker 1 come to Jesus

Speaker 1 with myself,

Speaker 1 that's why when the Me Too thing happened,

Speaker 1 I was so like, I'm joining this.

Speaker 1 Because the way anybody even knew, nobody even knew until I tweeted tweeted about it. Because I said,

Speaker 1 and the

Speaker 1 man part of that was, of course, it doesn't happen as much. Men are not nearly as vulnerable, but it does happen.
Dude, I mean, you know how many men came forward to me, right?

Speaker 1 Like, literally, like, dude, that same thing happened to me.

Speaker 1 People in my case.

Speaker 1 There were guys and women who came forward. I wish I could say a man once tried to grab my ball, but sadly, nobody did, and I don't know why.
I was very attractive. But let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 When you go to the sex rehab, what is it about? They just punch your dick? I mean,

Speaker 1 you get up in the morning and they start wailing on your cock. You know, I guess

Speaker 1 that's the only way I could really describe what it was. But what it was was just counseling.
You know what I mean? I call it sex rehab, sex addiction.

Speaker 1 Is there ever a small voice in the back of your head that says, you know what? Maybe this is all just brainwashing and indoctrination. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They call it counseling, but they sent me away to some place like McMurphy in cuckoo's nest. And they are really just kind of lobotomizing me so I'm now compliant to the women's demands.

Speaker 1 I felt that way the first two days.

Speaker 1 I was going, this is

Speaker 1 I was literally like, this is bullshit. I literally was.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 I started to really just see,

Speaker 1 it was wild because I saw the difference between who I was and the person I wanted to be. That's where it was.
It wasn't them. It wasn't.

Speaker 1 I will say, like I said, it wasn't the power of people talking to me.

Speaker 1 It was the power of me sitting in my room and saying, I don't want to be that.

Speaker 1 I want a different life. And you talked about America.
You talked about the fact that you can reinvent yourself. I said, I want to be different.
I don't want this dude.

Speaker 1 I don't like who I am.

Speaker 1 And I said, I want to change this. Well, you hit it well because, like, I always loved you and everything I saw you.
I mean, you never stopped working. No.
I love

Speaker 1 Everybody Hates Chris. Thank you.
Love that show.

Speaker 1 Never missed one episode. So great.
So funny.

Speaker 1 Now, this is the thing, too.

Speaker 1 One thing I love is coming out of all that stuff, I could see, I could really, talk about, I'm king of nuance because you see people who are so extreme.

Speaker 1 You see all this, you see the extremes of everything, and that's where comedy is. That's where the funny is.

Speaker 1 That's where idiocracy was. Dude, you know who I was? When I was president of Camacho, I was my pastor.

Speaker 1 That's why it was like, well, I give you my word. He ain't going to fix the dust stones too.

Speaker 1 It was charisma that allowed people to cheer, but he's saying nothing. This is how much I love this movie.
Do you remember the scene where

Speaker 1 Luke Wilson,

Speaker 1 he's getting like the tattoo for who his identity is and name? And he goes, well, I'm not sure. Not sure.

Speaker 1 No, I was going to say, I'm not sure whether he wants. Not sure.

Speaker 1 Remember when they was going to, they had to either put the stick in his butt or in his mouth and they forgot which one it was. But listen to this.
So I got a new car about a year ago.

Speaker 1 And it makes you, you know, what is the name? You have to, so that when you turn on the car, it can say hello to you. I fucking hate this guy.
shit.

Speaker 1 But you know what name I use? What do you mean? Not sure. Not sure.
So when I turn on my Electric Mercedes-Benz, it says, welcome, not sure.

Speaker 1 Hey, man.

Speaker 1 Me, Maya Rudolph, Dak Shepard,

Speaker 1 dude, Mike Judge. We did not know.

Speaker 1 We thought, oh, my God. Because the movie was originally called 3001.
Maya Rudolph? Maya.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was, you know, she was in the movie and Scarface from the ghetto boys with Netflix pimp. But this is the thing.

Speaker 1 It was called 3001. And Mike said, wait a minute,

Speaker 1 we got to rename it. But some of the stupidity that

Speaker 1 it evokes, we just see having, I mean, go through an airport, you know, and, you know, the,

Speaker 1 or just anything that is so frustrating because it's automated. I mean, it really is.

Speaker 1 amazingly prescient, that movie. You know, one thing that happened in that movie that not a lot of people are are talking about is this slow rewriting of history through movies.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, they had it where the dinosaurs were in

Speaker 1 like a theme park. And

Speaker 1 I visited there and I made a movie about this, Religion. Yeah.
And we went to this, we went there. We shot there.
It's in the movie. And it starts to change history.
Like right now,

Speaker 1 like even now, I think this movie Fly Me to the Moon is like the movie.

Speaker 1 They actually put a fact in, like, they fake the moon landing.

Speaker 1 yes and I'm going but that's not a fact is it no no no no that's not what the movie is about no it's not what about but it's in the movie you see what I mean like I've seen

Speaker 1 it's it's important to the plot what they're what they're

Speaker 1 the plot of the movie is that they are they're going to the moon right but if it doesn't work they don't want to scare the people so they're going to shoot a fake version just so they can show them that.

Speaker 1 Now there are people, I mean,

Speaker 1 Candice Owens, who can be very intelligent. I am, you know,

Speaker 1 she can get on a roll on something, and I'm like, wow, she is saying it so right. She sat right there, and she knows this.
We don't agree on everything. She doubts the moon landing.
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 flat earthers.

Speaker 1 Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of my good friends. Yes, he sat there too.
Amazing. He's atheist.

Speaker 1 But I learned so much. Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's why I love, I got to hear it, man. I want to hear everything.
Give me all of that. Well, atheists aren't.

Speaker 1 Atheists, I mean, there's a theory that atheists are like doctrinaire, like there is no God. That's not what we say.
Atheists, as Richard Dawkins pointed out, just means a theist.

Speaker 1 In other words, like asymmetrical, a theist. Like, you believe in a God.
We just don't. We're not saying, oh, for sure, we know the answer.
We don't know the answer. No one knows the answer.

Speaker 1 Nobody does. I agree with you.
It's ridiculous that we're here. It just seems reactive ridiculously.
It seems so unlikely that, and we certainly don't know. We know the age of the universe.

Speaker 1 But what was before that is a question you can never ask.

Speaker 1 Okay, Neil deGrasse Tyson will tell you 14 billion years is the, you know, that's when the Big Bang, the Big Bang itself seems more ridiculous than Jesus is a virgin birth. But okay, fine.

Speaker 1 Everything in the universe fit inside of a marble and then it exploded. Great.
Maybe I'm simplifying.

Speaker 1 But listen, me and Neil,

Speaker 1 some of the best conversations I've ever had in my life. Oh, yes.
Because I'm just like, wow. Well, it's you know,

Speaker 1 when you can follow these things up with facts, and I'm a big physics guy, and so is Mike Judge.

Speaker 1 Mike Judge is like a physics major and all the things, but I just love knowing that out there the rules are different. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 but all the laws are the same. But when you're talking about speed and time and gravity and the relation between electrons and

Speaker 1 just magnetism, these rules that are so beautiful. Like, whoa.
Well, it's very easy to find people who like have no clue about anything with, and I'm not, this is not my area either.

Speaker 1 I'm a social studies kind of guy. Okay.
But I truly am interested in science and I know the basics.

Speaker 1 When you try to explain to somebody, a lot of people don't even know what a light year is. They don't know what's a measure of distance.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then when you explain, the distance is, okay, light travels at 186,000 miles per second, per second. Yes.
Now, so a year of those would be very far.

Speaker 1 And then if you're talking about like 10,000 light years, really far.

Speaker 1 Dude, I love getting my brain exploding. You know,

Speaker 1 it's kind of like they showed like a computer reenactment of what a black hole would look like. And I remember looking at it and just replaying it over and over again.

Speaker 1 Like, oh my God, like light itself can't escape. It's just beautiful.
Like to me, everything is malleable. You know, that blows my mind.
You know,

Speaker 1 time itself. Yes.
It's so, it's, and it's all like, I even think about when I'm doing something wonderful and it's like, it's over like that.

Speaker 1 But when you are doing something you hate, it just takes forever. It's just like, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, whenever people explain, uh, complain to me about time, my God, and I complain about this myself. Time is going so fast.
I always say to them, go to prison. You want to slow it down?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 They'll take you. Great one.
Go to prison. And trust me, time will not go so fast.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm glad time is going fast, but yeah, it does. And of course, as you know, now that you're over 50, as you get, you know, older like that, it does go even faster.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's like a roll of toilet paper.

Speaker 1 The closer you get to the end, this is it starts getting.

Speaker 1 I must say, I never thought about that. I'm telling you, the first, the first couple of sheets is like, ah, we got a planning.
All of a sudden, you're like, oh, hey, hey, hey, it's over.

Speaker 1 I, again, we just became empty nesters. We have five kids.
They're all out of the house. Wow.
Now it's me and my wife. How is that? Huh? Dude, it was a minute ago I was holding this dude.

Speaker 1 Like, then he's my youngest. All my kids are grown and I love it.
But what's it like to be an empty nest? Are you enjoying?

Speaker 1 Literally, we're three weeks in, right? And we're like, we can go anywhere we want. Right.
We went to Santa Barbara, so fourth. We're going to Hawaii this weekend.

Speaker 1 I'm like, wow. You know, there's a movie I got to recommend to you.

Speaker 1 I don't remember the title, but it's with, maybe you saw it. It's about 10 years ago.
Meryl Streep

Speaker 1 and Tommy Lee Jones.

Speaker 1 What is the name of this movie? Whoa.

Speaker 1 And Steve Carell is a therapist, a psychiatrist, therapist. Anyway, the whole movie is about Meryl Streep is

Speaker 1 determined to teach Tommy Lee Jones to re-fuck her.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I don't think I saw this movie.

Speaker 1 You would have remembered.

Speaker 1 Like, they're like this married couple. I mean, this is not the longer.
So they're 50-ish. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's, you know, gets home at night, watches the golf channel, and falls asleep in his barker lounger, gets up in the morning and like breakfast and kiss on the cheek.

Speaker 1 And doesn't, she's just furniture. She could say the house is on fire.
He wouldn't even hear her. Goes to the office.

Speaker 1 That kind of thing. Yeah, he's a dull guy.

Speaker 1 Well, he's certainly, his senses are dulled as far as his attraction to her. And her, just be nice.

Speaker 1 You know, it's one thing if you stop fucking, but you don't have to stop like touching and caring and making stuff. You know, that's what.
I'm going to tell you, this empty nest thing,

Speaker 1 it's the best thing that's happened to me in years because

Speaker 1 I've, again, I went back to that image of me giving her a flower and I was saying, like, she was my girlfriend. And I'm like, it's just us, babe.
And I'm, let me tell you, man, nothing like

Speaker 1 being

Speaker 1 having.

Speaker 1 this woman who knows everything about you good and bad and you could honestly honestly share and that don't mean we agree that's how we fight

Speaker 1 i said but i you're you know how to tell i said you know you're annoying and i love it here

Speaker 1 that sums up our relationship like wow it's it's a it's a good pain it's a good like it's a challenging like it's not a okay what do you want what do you want no it's like i'm challenged i'm you're you're i mean I'm facing you.

Speaker 1 I love you. But that doesn't mean we got to be all simpatical.
It's like, oh, I didn't see it like that.

Speaker 1 That's like the third thing I've heard in the last month on that theme of like what you just said was like, you're annoying, but I love it here.

Speaker 1 I read Sean Penn quoted in Maureen Dowd's profile of him, and she was asking him about smoking. And I think he quoted Charles Bukowski, who said, find what you love and let it kill you.

Speaker 1 And then I heard Jerry Seinfeld talking to Howard Stern, and he was saying something like,

Speaker 1 you know, it's all torture. You know, marriage is torture.
And, you know, keep getting a new act is torture. But, you know, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 I don't agree with any of this.

Speaker 1 I don't agree with any of it.

Speaker 1 No, I don't want to find what I love and let it kill me. I don't want to have anything kill me.
I don't want torture. I don't want to be annoyed.
I hear you. I'm just a different kind of dude.

Speaker 1 Listen, man, I'm that guy who wants to take the long trip. And there are people who like to go to Epcot and just go pretend they went to Germany and France and all these other places.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's so much easier. You know what I mean? Oh, look, we're at Oktoberfest in Germany.
No, you're in Florida.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, no, let's go. I want to go.
And it takes a lot of effort. You should go.

Speaker 1 Did you ever go on Magic Johnson's yacht? No, I haven't. I've been following it, though.
It's beautiful. Every summer, what a vacation.
I feel that this is just a terrible miscarriage of justice.

Speaker 1 You should be on that trip.

Speaker 1 Not me. White people are not allowed on that boat, and I perfectly respect that.
I love magic. I love magic.

Speaker 1 I want to, listen.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you.

Speaker 1 But you should be on that boat. First of all, me and my wife last year did the vacation of a lifetime.
It was so good, we didn't tell anybody. We didn't post.
We didn't do that. We rented a yacht.

Speaker 1 Where?

Speaker 1 Oh, rented a yacht oh yeah we went to the we did a yacht we went to central pay we went to we did the whole french riviera it was just me and her and a staff and we ate and we didn't take no pictures we didn't send

Speaker 1 no no other guests no other guests just you and her that's very

Speaker 1 vacation of a lifetime wow you're both very lucky that's what i mean

Speaker 1 very few people married as long as you have would ever do anything just by themselves that's why i know Listen, that's why I'm saying, I'm not saying this is for everybody, but I know what I know it's for me.

Speaker 1 No, you know what I mean? Lucy and Ricky always brought Fred and Ethel.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't need anybody else, dude.

Speaker 1 I learned a long time. I feel so comfortable with her.
All those wet pussies just came.

Speaker 1 I didn't say that, babe. That was him.
No,

Speaker 1 he can't help doing it. It's

Speaker 1 spirit to be be able to do it. I appreciate this, man.
I appreciate you. And you

Speaker 1 made me laugh and entertained me so many times. I'm telling you, you never stop working.
Hey, man. And I will never.
First of all, this is another thing. It's great.
I want to say that.

Speaker 1 First of all, show business, we love it, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 it's the greatest.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's

Speaker 1 foolish. It's complaining about this.

Speaker 1 You don't deserve it. Exactly.
What the hell? I mean, it's crazy, but it's fucking better than whatever else

Speaker 1 please.

Speaker 1 My grandmother spent 40 years putting a nut on a bolt at AC Spark Plug.

Speaker 1 Right. Bought her house.
Right. Did her whole life, but had that what she did every day

Speaker 1 for 10 hours a day. That is non-stop for 40 years.
That's rough. Amen.
I'm living

Speaker 1 what a life. Right.
And I'm so grateful. So great that you recognize that.
And, you know, because if you can't enjoy it while you're going through it,

Speaker 1 I mean, you might as well be light years away.

Speaker 1 And I like, and I like the new stuff. Like, for me, I'm not complaining about the changes in business and all this stuff, man.

Speaker 1 It's like, I think we're going to, my thing is, there's more opportunity than ever. Ever.

Speaker 1 Remember, first of all, I'm from the day when I was a kid, there was three sitcoms that you, as a black man, you could be on. It was Good Times, the Jeffersons, and there was only maybe one other.

Speaker 1 Now, you can make your own freaking show and put it out. Did you see Eddie Murphy's speech when he, about, I don't know, three, four months ago, he received some award? I forget what it was.

Speaker 1 I didn't see that. And he made a speech and he said, when I started in the business, there was like one black movie star, Sidney Poitier.
And there was very few directors and very few people who ran

Speaker 1 the whole shebang there at the, and he said, now we got all of that.

Speaker 1 I thought it was like really great, talking about honesty, that he was like not doing what a lot of people would do and saying we need more of course we always need more work and work is never done progress is never completed we're never at the end of the journey but just to say it was honest we got all that now can we just celebrate when we do something right that's you know that's what i'm about yeah i'm literally like looking at all the black people that got emmy nominations Let's celebrate them.

Speaker 1 But you know what? That's the thing. You look at it and they go, there needs to be more.

Speaker 1 The snubs, I'm going, huh? Huh? Huh?

Speaker 1 Why are we concentrating on who got snubbed?

Speaker 1 I am the single most snubbed person.

Speaker 1 On that note, oh, plug your movie. Don't you remember?

Speaker 1 Yes, I got a movie, The Killer's Game, coming out with

Speaker 1 a Dave Batista action comedy.

Speaker 1 Where assassins is beautiful, Scott Atkins. It's about time I say someone made a movie about assassins.

Speaker 1 When is someone going to make a movie about Hitman? First of all,

Speaker 1 one thing I'm happy is about, it's less than three hours, which is right now, everybody's with this three-hour movie kick, and I can't handle it. I'm literally like, hey,

Speaker 1 I'm not in the theater. Even the ones that are 220 should be 150.
Come on.

Speaker 1 It's a beautiful, beautiful popcorn, fun. You will be able to check it out.
Where is this?

Speaker 1 Where is this? Is this in the theater? September. No, this comes out in September.
In the theater. In the theaters.
Only theaters only. It's beautiful.
And what's it called?

Speaker 1 I love it called Killer's Game. Killer's Game.
I'm J.J. Perry, Dave Batista.
How could there not have already been a movie called Killer's Game? Great. Really great.
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 And you play, I'm guessing. I play this killer named

Speaker 1 who's actually, you know, this guy who's trying. What happens is he gets sick

Speaker 1 and he decides he's going to put a hit out on himself. And we're all in this, like, we're in the killer's union.
It's so funny. We have an app that we're all like on.

Speaker 1 He's like, okay. Oh, wow.
He puts the money out. And then he finds out it's a mistake.
It's a misdiagnosis. Now he's trying to call it off.
It's too late. Too late, buddy.

Speaker 1 Just say assassin and you have me. Isn't it great? Isn't it great?

Speaker 1 Interesting ways to kill people. The number of movies they've made about Hitmen and Assassin.
It's just amazing because in real life, there's not that many. No, no.
You know, for hire.

Speaker 1 But like, if you, if life was movies and you went into the old phone book, there'd be like pages after pages of It's a fantasy, man.

Speaker 1 I just called Acme Hitman because it was the first one. I don't know.
This is the first time. Think about how good the revenge movie is.
It's like it never goes away. It always reinvents itself.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I was in the days of Billy Jack.
Remember that? Oh, Jack. Of course, Billy Jackson.
Billy Jack. And then Charles Bronson.
And then it was Clint. Then it moved to Liam, you know, Taythin.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 Amel was like, you know, payback. Everybody, John.

Speaker 1 John Wick, everybody has to have. It's better than sex.
I ain't going to lie to you. A good revenge movie.
Now he's like,

Speaker 1 Jake Gillenall just did

Speaker 1 road house. Everybody wants to have a franchise where they're a badass who kills many, many people.
And walks away. And gets away with all of them.
All right. And you better get yours very soon.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Quick arm wrestle.

Speaker 1 I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Come on, asshole. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I knew it. That was inevitable.
Bill Barnard. Damn you.

Speaker 1 Club.

Speaker 1 Random.

Speaker 1 That was so much fun.

Speaker 1 We got to do it again. I love this bit.
I want to do it. We got to do some comedy together sometime.
Yeah.

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