Kara Swisher | Club Random with Bill Maher

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Speaker 1 Hey, everybody, I have to give a big shout-out to everyone who bought my new book, What This Comedian Said Will Shock You.

Speaker 1 It's officially number one on the New York Times best-selling list in nonfiction, and it's not too late to jump in. It's a look back at many years of my real-time editorials re-edited and LOL tested.

Speaker 1 Get it now wherever you get books.

Speaker 1 You can argue with me about a million things. Oh, you know, except one thing.
I don't know about it.

Speaker 1 Here's the one thing you can't argue about. Me and what I'm like.

Speaker 1 Are you surprised you're like, ooh, a liberal lesbian from San Francisco who might, you know, you know, I wanted to join the military too, just so you know. Club random.
Hello. Let's pretend.

Speaker 1 Good to meet you.

Speaker 1 We just didn't spend the last hour together jousting and arguing. I'll tell you one thing, though.
I'm going to tell you about my son.

Speaker 1 There was a, he was in Argentina for the year, Miroff, and they had one of those Gaza protests, like for Gaza. He refused to do it.
Real good. And

Speaker 1 he got canceled by some people in his class. And he said, I have a lot of questions because I think it's a lot more complex.
And I'm not going to just sit down.

Speaker 1 And so I'm just saying there's a lot more kids like him than you think. Well, again, numbers.
I don't know what the numbers are.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is when you're 22 years old in general, and especially in the later generations, the more recent generations,

Speaker 1 they just don't know. And I mean, trust me, I know this firsthand.
Having been 22.

Speaker 1 Well, having been 22 and knowing 22-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 there's lots of people in this country who just would never watch a show like real-time because I'm like speaking Chinese. I had a kid here when the first

Speaker 1 podcast we did, one of the first club read him.

Speaker 1 He's a big TikToker, sweet guy. I liked him a lot.

Speaker 1 And we were talking about, and he's 30.

Speaker 1 We're talking about, just as an example, what we were talking about on the show, my last real time, NATO and the ACLU did not know what either one of them was. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's what we're working with. So when you have a kid who I'm sure your kid is not in that category,

Speaker 1 right, I'm sure he knows. Okay, but I don't think that's more than 20%.

Speaker 1 I think that's about 20%

Speaker 1 are aware of like this, the big, bad world out there. And the other ones are just in their God knows what TikTok zone of whatever.

Speaker 1 I also think most people are because I think we lived with an information desert. Now we have an information flood.
And so now it's the same difference. A desert or a flood.

Speaker 1 It's the same difference with people. Oh, I thought you said information slut.
Slut, yes. Nobody's an information slut like the two of us.
The two of us. You're an information slut.

Speaker 1 I know you sit there at night.

Speaker 1 I think that's a great title. Yeah, information slut, my next book.
I was just going to say, you're going to steal that right now. You can have it.
You can have it. You can can have it.

Speaker 1 No, you can have it. I want you to have it because I'm not going to do another book.
The book I have out now. I bet John was thrilled to get books out of both of us.

Speaker 1 It's been 20 years before I refused to write a book for 20 years. It's so funny because I refused for so long.
He refused. And you know, he was after me.
He was after me. Right.
He's good.

Speaker 1 That's why he's so good. That's why.
He's my original editor on my first book. That's why he's where he is.
Because he's a great guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he

Speaker 1 and he did it in a way that was so classy. Exactly.
You know, it wasn't pressure. No, but it was.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 but in a good way, because it made us do something that I bet you you feel the same way. I'm sorry.
He's like, put personal.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad I did this book.

Speaker 1 This book will, I really believe it will stand the test of time, and so will yours. I really enjoyed yours.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, when you have other platforms like we do,

Speaker 1 it's you kind of have to move us

Speaker 1 very craftily because we don't need it. Yes, that's right.
A lot of these

Speaker 1 people like who you see on shows like mine and yours, who

Speaker 1 this is how they live. That's right.
And so, like, I got new respect for them doing just two days in New York, and they do way more than that because they got to sell those books.

Speaker 1 And like, if somebody says, hey, you know, come to my event and we'll sell 250 books, they're like, 250,

Speaker 1 it's pathetic, right? I'm not buying one for under a thousand. I said, if they don't buy a thousand books, I won't show it.
Even that, you know, when you think about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have like a thousand books and $90,000, and then I'll show you. Less and less people in this country just simply read.

Speaker 1 Certainly not a book.

Speaker 1 Actually, my sales triple audio, triple sales on audio. Right.
And probably because of the podcast audience. Probably so will mine because I read the whole book.
Yep. And so, yeah.

Speaker 1 But even that, well, that's really good. I don't usually drink the darker ones.
This is a lighter one here. You have a tequila? I have two tequila.
God bless you.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like that better.
This is the celebrity one, the Randy, whatever, ding-dong, the husband of Cindy Crawford.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Yeah, Randy.
Handsome Randy. And Clooney.
Clooney, his partner. It's not as good as this.
Right. And this is the, I call this the Kardashian.
Is this the Kardashian? Yeah, because that's

Speaker 1 Kendall Kendall. Is it? She's a genius.
Yeah, I don't know. She's a fucking genius.
They've been nice to me, so I keep that. I just was with Kim Kardashian in Germany.
And? He's nice. She's fine.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. They're very nice people.
I mean,

Speaker 1 and I think they're. And Chris would rip your face off if she had to.
She would eat it, you know, for lunch. I had her right there.
She was very nice.

Speaker 1 She's very nice, but I'm just saying she's a sharp, fucking entrepreneur. Yes.
That's all I mean, is she's got all the characteristics of an entrepreneur. She really.
So does Kim. So does Kim.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And it seems like they're not afraid to

Speaker 1 be on all the time with that. Like everything

Speaker 1 is.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It doesn't make them bad people.
I mean, I'm a capitalist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does that make me a bad person? Are you? I'm a capitalist. Okay, good.
Both capitalists. Even Elizabeth Warren said I'm a capitalist to my bones.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. So

Speaker 1 I think she is.

Speaker 1 I mean, these people who, and again, let's not go back to all the kids,

Speaker 1 but it's just to me,

Speaker 1 perfect example of when you don't teach kids things. Right.
And when they have the, combined with the bad attitude

Speaker 1 of we don't need to know a lot of things because we're just, we were given trophies as a child. And so we just know we're exceptional because our parents told us that constantly.

Speaker 1 You're fucking exceptional. That is not true, but I'm going to push back.
But a lot of people, a lot of parents do put that in their kids' minds.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is how you get kids saying things like, communism, maybe we should give that another try.

Speaker 1 Because they didn't learn about it and how awful and incredibly evil it is. And because they didn't bother to like look in the past, because, oh, you tried it before? Yeah, get off my lawn,

Speaker 1 old man. I'll find out for myself.
It's like, no, you know, us older people, we know things because we live through them.

Speaker 1 Like, we know about communism. I don't know firsthand, thank God, because it's one of the most corrosive things that ever happened to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Although, again, I had a discussion with my son about this. He's like, he goes, when people say we should try communism, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Have you read history? Right.

Speaker 1 So, but he's read history. Good.
Yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 parents, not every parent gives their kids like constant, you're fantastic. I was quite hard on that kid.
Everyone does any.

Speaker 1 I understand, but I'm just saying, if that's parents you think that do that. If we cannot speak in Japan.
There's a whole group of idiot parents, and then there's actually really good parents.

Speaker 1 What is that you're putting in there? It's something to roofie you drink, and I'm going to turn you back to heterosexuality tonight.

Speaker 1 You're going to love it,

Speaker 1 and you're going to thank me for it. Just like you thanked Jonathan Carp.
You're going to thank me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I always need these persistent reminders of why I'm gay, and here we are again.

Speaker 1 Why? What did I do? No, I'm teasing you. I've been teasing you.
I'm teasing you. No, I mean, I understand that completely.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I understand why women don't want to be around a lot of men. Right.
Why?

Speaker 1 I like men. And I just like men.
I do too, but like, I'm not sure I would, if I was a woman, I would not have wanted to be around me at 20, 25.

Speaker 1 I mean, I had some good qualities, sure. I mean, I must have.
I had some loving girlfriends, but like... Until I was even 50, like, I just feel like I didn't have a clue.
Oh. This is ginseng.

Speaker 1 That's what this is. It's not ginseng.
It's ginseng. It's called ging, but it's not ginseng.
It says it right here. Like I say, it's a bunch of ginseng.
Ginseng. Really? Oh, yeah.
I don't know if I...

Speaker 1 Is that it? Yes, you're drinking ginseng. 190 milligrams of American ginseng root per serving.
You're doing the ginseng. Does that make you, does that get you like

Speaker 1 caffeine?

Speaker 1 Like caffeine? I don't know what ginseng. It's the gin thing.

Speaker 1 I didn't think it had ginseng. It has tons of it.
Did you not read bottles? That's ridiculous. This is like if we were married.
Yeah. And it was a terrible marriage.

Speaker 1 But people used to get into terrible marriages because you couldn't even be gay, right?

Speaker 1 And then there are things people like about each other. And I do like you.
I

Speaker 1 legitimately like you.

Speaker 1 I really do. I know you do.
It's interesting. I see past your bluster.

Speaker 1 I'm not blustering. No, no.
I mean, you're, you're, I mean, we both, maybe we're two alike. We're WYSIWYG, I think.
Well, we're not both. You know what WYSIWYG means? We're not, no.

Speaker 1 What you see is what you get. Yeah, exactly.
It's a ton of bullshitters.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's great to leave that with charm,

Speaker 1 which apropos of what I was just saying, is something I don't think I did enough before I was older. Yeah.
You know, I understand why a woman would want to be around me now because I'm very nice.

Speaker 1 How are you? Yeah, but like, I just feel like when you're young, you're just so insecure and stupid.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about me, okay?

Speaker 1 I won't broaden it out. No, probably not.
Women mature at a much younger age.

Speaker 1 Men are, I mean, again, I won't talk for everybody, but come on, I know a lot of guys. It's everybody.

Speaker 1 We just, we just immature until very late in life. It's a shame.
Well, you know, the old joke. I like men.
I have three sons, as you know, and

Speaker 1 I like men because the old joke, you don't have to sleep with them. So lesbians really like men.
I do not know why people don't think lesbians. Why wouldn't we? We don't have to.

Speaker 1 They like us. They leave us alone for the most part.

Speaker 1 Anyway. I say in my act,

Speaker 1 girls like dick. How do I know this?

Speaker 1 Because they're willing to put up with men to get some. Yeah, I would say maybe they don't as much as you think.
Well, I would say you have that backwards. Most women, I mean, look.
I would agree.

Speaker 1 It doesn't make okay. So

Speaker 1 here's what I agree with. A lot of women lately have been saying to me, I think I'm going to become a lesbian.
And I'm like, that's not because they don't like this.

Speaker 1 That's not because they don't like dick. It's because nobody administers it correctly.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Or it comes with a bunch of other bullshit that's not even worth it. Of what it's attached to, yeah.
Yeah, but they would actually like it, you know, in a

Speaker 1 more appealing package of all sorts, you know, polite, nice, kind,

Speaker 1 thought, thinking of you and your needs and all the things, you know, and communicative. Communicative.
You know, they communicative.

Speaker 1 I mean.

Speaker 1 Guys today, I think, have been ruined by the phone because

Speaker 1 okay. I think the phone more than anything fucked them up.

Speaker 1 Women are communicative creat.

Speaker 1 Why am I saying it wrong? I don't know. You haven't even started smoking yet.
Communicative creatures.

Speaker 1 And the phone is antithetical to that. It's just, what's up? Yeah.
It's also porn, you know, porn. There's always something wrong on it.
It pulls people in.

Speaker 1 I think porn is really, which has always been the problem.

Speaker 1 It hasn't always been evil, but it's evil now. I mean, it's just too rape evil.
It's not evil evil.

Speaker 1 It's been evil for a long time. You You think early Playboy was evil? Not early Playboy, but there was some really dark stuff in porn for years.

Speaker 1 But that's besides the way now it's easily available, and that's what the problem is. Everything is easily available.
It's just on demand.

Speaker 1 I mean, there was a time when they made actual movies with, you know, pubic hair and acting and storylines. Yeah, really good storylines.
Well,

Speaker 1 there was, I saw a documentary on this. There was a peak, like somewhere in the 90s, where,

Speaker 1 excuse me, it was still on VHS. Right.

Speaker 1 But it had become, there was a little Renaissance flowering period where they were actually making movies, porn movies, with a million-dollar budget, which doesn't sound like a lot, but for a porn movie, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 Right, that's all right. Because people, it was before they had the internet and you could just see clips and stuff.

Speaker 1 So it was just you saw the movie and you waded through the boring parts about the pizza delivery guy coming over.

Speaker 1 And so they actually tried to make them. There was one, I think it's about they were pirates.

Speaker 1 They had costumes and their ship.

Speaker 1 I mean, it wasn't the Johnny Depp movies, but you know, it was like a million-dollar kind of porny themselves, the Johnny Depp movies, right? It's kind of trans and looking good.

Speaker 1 And well, pirates are, I think, pirates are sexy. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, they very often use the term. Pirates are really gay, is what they are.
Don't they use the term pirate frequently to

Speaker 1 yes, that's what I was going to say, and also business, like the corporate raiders and the

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 obviously they, I don't know what the dictionary definition of pirate is, but apparently it it refers really

Speaker 1 to unlawful raiding, right? You know what pirates did? Yes, unlawful raiding and rapists, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think what they're rapists. Well, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 yes, indeed.

Speaker 1 But I think they love to use that term and Apple had it ha flying over their headquarters at one infinity loop or whatever. Yeah, they had the pirate flag.

Speaker 1 So their slogan was don't do evil or something. No, that was Google.
Try to keep them right. Their performative stuff, correct.

Speaker 1 So Apple had the pirate flag, and they kind of look at themselves as pirates, even though they're the last thing. They would flee screaming from a pirate, an actual pirate.

Speaker 1 Because it's an attempt to make themselves feel they all really fear you, don't they?

Speaker 1 They do. What? They do.
I don't know why. I know why.
Why?

Speaker 1 Because just say bad things about them. I don't say bad things.
I say truthful things about them.

Speaker 1 Sometimes they're bad. Well, sometimes they are bad.
Sometimes they're good. I say good things when I like them.
Right. So they just don't like that.
They said a lot of bad things about them, too.

Speaker 1 I mean, and they are in many ways,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 as bad as any robber baron class.

Speaker 1 Well, of course they're not going to like that. Well, yeah, but it's just the truth.

Speaker 1 I think one of the things that drove me crazy, and you're talking about performative pirating, for example, which is so performative.

Speaker 1 Like you could just put on like a basic leather outfit and do the same shit.

Speaker 1 But they had to put on the scarves and

Speaker 1 the parrots and the peg legs, et cetera.

Speaker 1 Who did this now? Pirates did this. Oh, actual pirates.
I'm just saying, you didn't have to be like that to be a pirate. You don't have to dress different, right?

Speaker 1 You didn't have to have a different leg. The whole leg was performative.
Okay, fine. They lost the leg and they had a peg.

Speaker 1 That's a big sacrifice for

Speaker 1 art. That's because pirates are the sort of drag show of those ages, right? Essentially.
And so one of the things that tech people like to do is they are very performative.

Speaker 1 And as opposed to, say, an investment banker, an investment banker doesn't go to you, Carol, what I really want to do is save the world.

Speaker 1 And, you know, a pharmaceutical executive, world peace is my goal. But the tech people insisted on having that.
Like, I'm here to change the world.

Speaker 1 One of my first articles for the Wall Street Journal was all these bullshit. Such a good point.
You know, like, we're all equal here, except I have stock that controls everything.

Speaker 1 We're all, nobody has titles.

Speaker 1 We're just in hoodies. We're just this, except the hoodies cost hundreds of dollars.
They were cashmere hoodies.

Speaker 1 And so it would drive me crazy that they would, the reason my first line of my book is it was capitalism after all, was because that's what it was. But they insisted on these, don't be evil.

Speaker 1 Don't be evil. Why does it have to go to evil to start with? Why can't it be, don't be slightly damaging to young teen girls? Don't be like, they had to go to evil and therefore there was no room.

Speaker 1 Everything in front of it was okay. Right.
Right. And so they're very performative as to to their role because they love video games and they see themselves as ready player one in these video games.

Speaker 1 And but in general, I mean, they sort of like symbolize

Speaker 1 a large part of what people don't like about the left these days. They're not left

Speaker 1 crap. I know, but they certainly are seen as left and they

Speaker 1 aren't. They never were.
They vote left. Not the leaders.
Silicon Valley votes Democrat. They do, but not the leaders, not the people people who really count with the money and the means.

Speaker 1 They were libertarian-light. I would say libertarian-like.
But they see themselves and want to present themselves and are regarded as on the left. No, I disagree with you.
They were libertarian-light.

Speaker 1 They are. I'm talking about how they're perceived.
Or they know. That's different because

Speaker 1 what they are is tolerant about gay people, tolerant about, you know, they have tolerance that is sort of, but it's all in favor of making more money.

Speaker 1 It's like they like gay people because maybe they can make them money. Like one of the things that the right don't get is like, you should like anyone who can make you money.

Speaker 1 Like that's the kind of thing. And so they try to pretend it was out of a love of society, but in fact, it's a love of money.
And I'm agreeing with that.

Speaker 1 And that makes them libertarian-like, because most of them never expressed a

Speaker 1 political opinion ever. Elon Musk, I never knew what his politics was for until recently.
Right. Right.
I just didn't. I had no idea.
Yes. Someone's like, was he always this right?

Speaker 1 I'm like, he was nothing. Right.
Bill Gates, nothing. Mark Zuckerberg, I couldn't tell you what.
He never expressed a political opinion. None of them did, ever.

Speaker 1 And except for government, leave me alone. That they always said.
But like Mark Zuckerberg gave $100 million.

Speaker 1 To Newark. To Newark.
I mean.

Speaker 1 Performative. Okay, I'm agreeing with you.
Why are you fighting with me, honey? I am. Even when I'm agreeing with you, I'm going to pull this army.
You're drinking ginseng. Let's keep that in mind.

Speaker 1 I'm going to pull this RV. I looked it up.
You're drinking ginseng. I'm going to pull this RV over.
Yeah, okay. And kick you out.
Because Clarence Thomas and his wife are in the RV behind us.

Speaker 1 I so much want to be in that RV, like in the closet, don't you? Like, what's going on with them? Don't you think they have really good sex, those two?

Speaker 1 I'm just racing. She better.
You know what? When you get with the nutty one, she better fuck you good. That's the nutty girl.
She must be,

Speaker 1 yes, there must be something

Speaker 1 either they're having no sex or it's sexy. A lot, a lot.

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Speaker 1 Hey, I'll be at the David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on June 21st and 22nd.

Speaker 1 I'll be at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis on July 13th and on July 14th, the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee.

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Speaker 1 Do you ever go to strip clubs? Yes, of course. Yeah.
Yeah. I like it.
What do you think? I end up talking to the strippers a lot. A lot of them are lesbians, which is interesting,

Speaker 1 which I thought was interesting. I end up discussing their homes and stuff like that.
I like them. You know what they're like, what their life is like.
Oh, I thought you meant like advising on.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Yeah, you should buy this house.
It's really good real estate. I give them real estate tips.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'm always there during CES when I used to go to CES in Vegas and I went to the Spearmint Rhino. You've been there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've been there. Have I ever been there?

Speaker 1 It doesn't ring a bell. Yes, I've been there.

Speaker 1 And it's a great club.

Speaker 1 All the tech guys. I'll be honest with you, Mark Cuban invited me to come.

Speaker 1 So I went with him because he's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 And you can't get into those clubs if you're a woman if you're not with a man do you know that you have to have a man bring you in which I want to switch because they told me I asked they thought it's either an ex-wife coming to be mad at their husband or wife or or it's like a feminist coming in to yell at everybody is that legal I'm just telling you that's what no I'm asking you I don't know I don't know but it sounds like the kind of thing

Speaker 1 that might not be legal by the whatever so

Speaker 1 I know but I'm just wondering the idea that you can exclude someone if they're not with a

Speaker 1 with all the gender

Speaker 1 switching and stuff we do now.

Speaker 1 How could you even enforce that? Well, I identify. Yes.
Couldn't you say I identify as a man? So in essence, I'm with a man. I went on a lesbian bachelor party there and we couldn't get in.

Speaker 1 And so I had to call a friend of mine I knew was playing poker. He walked us in.
I made him come over.

Speaker 1 He brought a lot of ones, so that was fun. But

Speaker 1 I like strip clubs. Okay.
I'm fine with them. But what happens is during CES, there's a lot of tech bros in there.
And so I go and say, hey, and it makes them deeply uncomfortable, and I enjoy that.

Speaker 1 And they're always going to the back where things are happening. In the back.
This is an issue that Hamas does not have to worry about. No, I do.
That's correct. What happens in strip clubs?

Speaker 1 That is true. But I don't mind them.
I like that. They're fine.

Speaker 1 That would be a funny man on the street

Speaker 1 to go to some place.

Speaker 1 Let's hope the war is over soon. And just man on the street in Gaza, like asking, is there a strip club in town?

Speaker 1 I just want to

Speaker 1 say

Speaker 1 that's really sick.

Speaker 1 That's shocking to you.

Speaker 1 I wrote one of the earliest columns about why does Silicon Valley take money from Saudis and those countries because of the way they treat women and everything else.

Speaker 1 I wrote a lot about them, like, how can they do this? And then

Speaker 1 sort of cosplay being, you know, feminists or whatever. They're not really feminists, but you know what I mean.
It's it's my next editorial. Yeah.
It's about

Speaker 1 if you kids really are looking for a cause, I got one for you. Yeah, yeah, I really do.

Speaker 1 Yep,

Speaker 1 Mohamed Bonesaw. What is it? Mohamed Bonesaw, the MBS.
That's the nickname that I gave him. Others.
Have you met him? Are you kidding? I never go.

Speaker 1 I wrote like, I can't believe these people are investing with these people. Take care.
You wouldn't talk to MBS.

Speaker 1 In a place where I felt safe, yes. Right.
Yes. Yes, I certainly would.
Well, there's a city called Bonesaw Village. Yes, no.

Speaker 1 You certainly wouldn't go to

Speaker 1 it. I would not.
I wouldn't feel safe. I've been there once, and I got into big arguments with people.
And that doesn't make, and there are people now saying, you're Islamophobes. No.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, phobe means fear.

Speaker 1 And if you have a legitimate fear, that doesn't make you a phobe. I would be worried as someone who's been been a critical person toward

Speaker 1 how they treat women and gay people. So I would say that's what I was fearful of.
It's not at all. It's not the whole group.

Speaker 1 Again, we talked about this earlier, the whole group of them, no, but the leadership, absolutely. Well,

Speaker 1 actually, sometimes it's the reverse. I hate to tell you, I know that's even worse.
But there are definitely places in this world. Pakistan comes to mind because I've read many stories about it.

Speaker 1 It is the government that's trying to get the people to be more modern.

Speaker 1 There was a story, I think I'm remembering this correctly, a boy was in Madrasa.

Speaker 1 And by the way, madrasa, you know, not something you really see in other cultures, that kind of school that just teaches one book.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the headmaster was saying something like, you know, raise your hand if you don't believe in the prophet Muhammad.

Speaker 1 Nobody raised their hand, but one kid thought he said, if you, you know, he misinterpreted it. So he raised his hand.

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 1 of course, did the normal thing and went home and cut his hand off. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 1 I believe you can. It feels like an internet conspiracy theory.
I know, no.

Speaker 1 Really, you think the world is that sane everywhere? No, I don't think it's sane. I think religion is,

Speaker 1 I'm with you on that one. I read this story.
I know you got a lot of story.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say I'm 95% sure. Can I say a hundred? No.
But I'm pretty sure because I remember reading it, and it was in a reputable source

Speaker 1 I think religion makes people crazy it does in the extreme I don't mind faith and people feeling good about things and going to churches but I'm just saying the federal government in uh Islamabad I think is often to the left of where the trying to crack down the village the village

Speaker 1 ritual stuff village life is yeah I would agree yeah okay so that's we agree are you surprised you're like oh a liberal lesbian from San Francisco who might you know you know, I wanted to join the military too, just so you know.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Look,

Speaker 1 we contain multitudes.

Speaker 1 Exactly. No, no, no.
I'm always interested in what your exact opinion is going to be because it's like,

Speaker 1 I feel like, again, we're kind of similar this way. You don't have to suss it out.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to suss it out. Just tell me what you think.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll agree. Maybe I won't.

Speaker 1 But I don't want to have a lot of lateral movement where I'm like, there are people in this world who like, I really like them, but they just have the kind of personality where

Speaker 1 they're too agreeable. You know, they just never want to, they're non-confrontational.
So it's like, do you really think that?

Speaker 1 Because I just said the reverse five minutes ago and you were there. You know, well, they could be secretly seething inside.
I think a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Although now I do think that people, I do think online has jumped offline now a lot more. People are seeing everything they think in their fucking heads.

Speaker 1 And sometimes I'm like, maybe you shouldn't say it. Maybe you should

Speaker 1 put down the Twitter.

Speaker 1 There's so many, like many, a couple of years ago, there was a reporter who was on Twitter and was responding to people.

Speaker 1 And I wrote them finally, I said, you're responding to bots that are trying to upset you. You need to put the fucking phone down right now and stop it.

Speaker 1 And so I do think a lot of people now have, that has jumped offline.

Speaker 1 Online has jumped offline now in many ways where people feel they can say whatever they think or everyone has to have an opinion about everything of which they don't have any expertise in, which drives me crazy,

Speaker 1 which is problematic. I think there's a lot of non-expert experts on everything.
And so that sort of drives me crazy.

Speaker 1 People just feel they need to produce an opinion about something instead of just saying, you know what? I don't know. Gaza, I really don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Or

Speaker 1 you got flamed by Bill Burr the other day. What was it? Something.
That was funny. I got what? Flamed by Bill Burr.
It was flaming. He was sitting.

Speaker 1 You know, he was like giving you a hard time for not knowing something. It was very funny.
Well, we were playing. I mean, that I love

Speaker 1 it. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Again, hardly an interview. What that really was, and what I love about this show

Speaker 1 is that it wasn't

Speaker 1 an interview. It was like we just naturally fell into this comedy team

Speaker 1 paradigm where I'm the pompous professor and he's the meathead regular guy. And it's a great comedic trope.
I mean it works as a conceit. And so without planning it,

Speaker 1 just by being it. It was kind of like Art Carney and Jackie Gleason.
Yeah, a little bit of felt like. Yeah, very much.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was happy to play that role.

Speaker 1 I mean, it wasn't really me. And that, of course, he's not dumb in a meathead either.
Oh, no. Right.
No. But he is like

Speaker 1 very often bereft of knowledge on things that you and I would take for granted and talk about. He's not a political person.
He doesn't know.

Speaker 1 I'm guessing he knows what NATO and the ACLU is, although I'm not sure about the ACLU.

Speaker 1 Anyway, that's okay. That's okay.

Speaker 1 That was a good show. People like that.
Oh, good. Yeah.
So you have heard this before. Heard what? This podcast.
I like it. Yeah.
Oh, thank you. I like it.

Speaker 1 It's so, isn't it funny that we could like do I was worried about the weed, but I'm good. Do yours

Speaker 1 and then do

Speaker 1 so different. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it just shows that we're mature people who have different sides. That's correct.
And

Speaker 1 like, I mean, not to make too big a thing of it, but it is sort of what we were talking about on your show about what America has to do to repair itself is like, you can be those other two people.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 And then you can be these people. Right.
I mean, I think that's hard. That's what America has to do.
One of the things that was interesting

Speaker 1 when I was going on your show, a lot of my friends were like, you can't go on a show. He's changed so much.
And I was like, one, I want to fucking sell a book, which is, I'm a capitalist, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Two,

Speaker 1 I think we're not able to talk to people who are, the fact that we're not able to talk to people we've decided to make lists is from fucking people. I guess certain people.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to Marjorie Taylor Green's podcast because she's a liar and a crazy person, right? And so that's different. There's no conversation happening there.

Speaker 1 There's just performative performative ranting, essentially. And I don't think there's anything to be learned from a conversation like that.
But people who think I've changed a lot,

Speaker 1 to me, that's so much more about them. That's so much more about being locked in your tribal silo where you're comfortable.

Speaker 1 And anything that disturbs you from there is something that, well, that's changed too much. Or that's, I can't deal with that.

Speaker 1 That's not who I'm working to anymore. You'd be surprised.
Online, I get that a lot too. Like I did this, I was telling you, I was in Germany with Kim Kardashian doing something just there.
And

Speaker 1 I got some people like, oh, cool, that's interesting or whatever. Most of it is.
But then there's this sort of like, how could you speak to her? And then lecturing me on it. Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 And all the time. And one of the things I always do, and same thing if I get it from the right,

Speaker 1 what's the bitch? I said it's none of your fucking business. But what? But I don't understand what the picture is.
Isn't she bad for women? Isn't she bad? Bad for women. Whatever.

Speaker 1 Some people are like that.

Speaker 1 Others are like, she's, you know, just a terrible i i was sort of perplexed i'm like what do you first of all one what do you care what i do one it's not your and i'm sort of of that woody gothry thing which is mind your own business so you won't be minding mine like it doesn't and i'm not like how could you do that as because they have an idea of me as sort of like this fighter for them which is interesting and i agree i do that i do that

Speaker 1 but I don't have to fit into a trope of what I don't have to go along with everything. You don't have to fit into a trope.
The people who say I've changed, they don't get on that.

Speaker 1 They have to fit into a trope. You have changed a little bit.
I think you've changed a little bit. Everybody changes a little bit.
But again, did I react to the change?

Speaker 1 Yes, but I reacted the way I've always reacted to news stories.

Speaker 1 Quite. You know,

Speaker 1 right? So, I mean, that to me is not a fundamental change.

Speaker 1 I think probably the biggest trope is like, look, we get that you've been out front with Trump on the Trump stuff, right? You've been way out front.

Speaker 1 You were very early about he's not going to give up power.

Speaker 1 He's a fascist kind of thing. That was sort of your trope a while ago.

Speaker 1 Or the things, the assertions you were making, not a trope.

Speaker 1 And later when you attacked the left,

Speaker 1 and it's interesting because it also happened when I did an interview with Mark Benioff where he called Facebook,

Speaker 1 this will make sense, I promise,

Speaker 1 Facebook, a cigarette company. And all these people reacted like class traitor.
Like, that's what I felt like. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 How could he, as a fellow billionaire, point out something that's glaringly obvious to everyone else? It's addictive. It's a problem.
They don't care about safety.

Speaker 1 They don't, they care about money over growth over everything. And they aren't taking responsibility for the damage they do.
That's all he was saying, right? Which was as clear as day.

Speaker 1 The fact that he, when I say it, it's like, oh, she's tough on us. When he said it, he was a class traitor.
That's what I got, which I thought was interesting.

Speaker 1 And so one of the things that I think is interesting is when you agree to talk to people you disagree with. Like when I did a Liz Cheney interview, same thing.
They're like, how can you talk to her?

Speaker 1 She likes wars. I'm like, yes, she does.
And so I will talk to her about why she likes wars, right? You know, or whatever. That's what life is.
I know that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I'm just, that's the broad thing is, you know, she gets a lot of, cause she's loyal to her dad. And her dad was a problematic figure at best in American history.
He is.

Speaker 1 He's going to, it's going to be a complicated. But even Iraq, I would, now I was against the Iraq war, as many of us were.

Speaker 1 But I will will concede all these years later, like

Speaker 1 in 50 years from now, what will people say about that?

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it will change. I'm saying you couldn't, you don't have to get a feather to knock me over with if it does change.

Speaker 1 Because I've seen in my life, I'm old enough, enough things which I thought were one way and then weren't.

Speaker 1 And just that's why I said here, I'm not going to lose my nervous system about Trump again, because he absolutely is a horrible threat, and he could blow up the world on day one, or he could just sit there and eat cheeseburgers and call into Fox and Friends every day for four years.

Speaker 1 He's so unpredictable. I'm just not going to lose it until it happens.

Speaker 1 One has the hope that maybe he's just old. He'll just be old.

Speaker 1 But I think what, see, I think the issue with people with you, at least with you, and I'll tell you the issue that tech people have with me, is

Speaker 1 I'm not a constant fan of them. Who? Tech people, right?

Speaker 1 I'm not constantly, even though I do love tech, and that's why the subtitle of my book was a tech love story. I love tech.
Right. But I don't love what they've done with the place.

Speaker 1 And for some reason, those things can't coexist. And that's a problem.
I think the issue with someone like you is that

Speaker 1 the focus on Biden versus the danger of Trump, that they're like, you're focusing on the scones don't taste very good when the house is burning down. I'm just telling you, you know that.

Speaker 1 You're aware of that. We've talked about it on the show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Almost everybody who I could think of who I really respect, we're kind of all on the same page here, which is like we lose our credibility if we don't talk about

Speaker 1 as if they're not going to notice Biden's old in that place like I do an old job. Oh, wow, honey, I had never seen that before.
You know, Bill Maher makes a good point. Joe Biden is old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, or whatever it is. I can't say it enough.

Speaker 1 I said it many times. I would vote for his head in a jar of blue liquid over Donald Trump.
But that doesn't mean that I'm not, first of all,

Speaker 1 I don't think, I think it's a moot point at this point. He's going to fucking lose.

Speaker 1 Who Biden? Yes. No, you're wrong.
No. I'm going to bet you.
Oh, great. Should we bet? No, nothing.
Do I have ownership of this place? No.

Speaker 1 No. I'm not sure.
It's not the kind of thing I would. I'm not going to throw a bitch in lesbian party here.

Speaker 1 You're not invited. No.
He wins. Not only will I not bet on this premise, you could change my mind on it in the next two minutes.
Right. I'm telling you, he's going to win.

Speaker 1 Convince me. All right.
There is a sign. You remember the silent majority with Nixon? Correct.
Yes. There's a silent majority of people who really don't like Donald Trump.
And I can't.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're that silent. I think they're, no, there's a noisy group, certainly.
And they, and there are elements of,

Speaker 1 you know, going too far. But there is a quiet group of people.
And I have a lot of people who are Trump relatives. And now they're women.
They're all women.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of men who in my family, people I talk to, various people, who are like, I'm voting for Trump.

Speaker 1 Trump all the women quietly no absolutely not and so I think there is that benefit I think the issue is where the votes are right and I think that's definitely the the worry is if it's in Michigan if it's in Nevada if it's in Arizona Pennsylvania those issues but as a whole I think people will look at him and say, I just don't want that again.

Speaker 1 And Biden is the less problematic person who we kind of know how it's going to go and we don't want chaos again because I think people are sick of chaos. That is an absolutely possible scenario.

Speaker 1 This is why I would not bet on something like this. Do I think that's absolutely possible to describe? Yes, or it could not be.
And I can't tell the difference. It could go that way.

Speaker 1 There's also something called the reverse, the shy Trump voter.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't think they're shy anymore. Those people are

Speaker 1 talking about

Speaker 1 again. You're talking about the people who you see.
The shy Trump voter is specifically something else.

Speaker 1 The shy Trump voter is the one who's going to vote for Trump, but doesn't want you to know it because it's a little declasse.

Speaker 1 And they don't want in whatever the company they're in. I mean,

Speaker 1 any place you went in this town, no one would say they're voting for Trump. And I'm sure he's going to get some votes.
Oh, absolutely. Oh, I think more than you think here.
No, I do.

Speaker 1 Especially because it is real. I think it's because

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 And also then on the other side, which is the problem Biden has, he's a reasonable person and an unreasonable age, right? Right.

Speaker 1 Yes, you know, like he's just like,

Speaker 1 well, you know, Gaza, there's a lot of really problematic situation there. At the same time, we need to defend Israel.
You can't run up the middle anymore. Right.

Speaker 1 You absolutely can't run up the middle. No, and he needs a Sister Soldier moment.
Sister, oh, like that, oh, for Trump, you mean? Or? No, Sister Soldier. No, I remember.
It was during Obama. Clinton.

Speaker 1 No, Clinton. Clinton, sorry.
Clinton. Obama was the other guy, the reverend, remember.
Yeah, there's always one. Sister Soldier was

Speaker 1 not a very famous, as I recall, rapper who said that

Speaker 1 something like, I think there was this right after maybe the Rodney King. Do you want more ginsing? Beating? Yeah,

Speaker 1 I know. I'm a little afraid of it.
I'm a little bit of a sexual vitality right now.

Speaker 1 Sexual vitality.

Speaker 1 Oh, I can say a million things. Oh, go right ahead.

Speaker 1 But Sister Soldier Leslie doesn't mind dick jokes, as you know.

Speaker 1 Work with Scott. Well, you came to the right club random.
Let me tell you. I haven't done any, really.
I usually do six or seven by this time with Scott. Well,

Speaker 1 next time we're at the Spearman Rhino together. We should go.
With Cuban and Galloway.

Speaker 1 What lesbian shall we bring? Megalo Peanut? Let me put it this way.

Speaker 1 Anytime I'm in Vegas, I'm

Speaker 1 always there. So it's really on you guys.
You go in the background? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You can argue with me about a million things. Oh, you know.
Except one thing. I don't know that.

Speaker 1 Here's the one thing you can't argue about.

Speaker 1 Me and what I'm like and what I do. No, I mean you, but isn't that the room where many people

Speaker 1 are not

Speaker 1 in different strip clubs? Yes, I would imagine. I, for a number of reasons, but including the fact that friendliness would be on the top of that list.
That's part of it.

Speaker 1 And also, just like I don't need trouble. And yes, people could say anything happened if you're like in some dark room, but I don't want to, and I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 That's a strip, you know, a strip club used to be somewhat more when they first had these high-end strip clubs in the 90s. Um,

Speaker 1 they were a lot classier. The women wore gowns, there was no lap dance, you know, they didn't grind on your dick.
That's what I think ruined strip clubs.

Speaker 1 It made it sleazy, made me feel bad for the girls. I felt like the way I feel about football players, you know, like, oh, this is entertaining, but is he getting brain damage right now?

Speaker 1 Well, it's third and ten. And you know,

Speaker 1 and uh,

Speaker 1 so they kind of ruined it. And I don't want to participate in that.
I just feel like a strip club is a place you can go. One, it's not too loud, which most places are too loud.

Speaker 1 Even bars, restaurants can be too loud. It's quiet.
Like the Spearman Rhino has that great

Speaker 1 VIP lounge. There's hardly anybody in there.
You can just sit at a bar. The secret to a strip club is to pretend you're in a regular club.

Speaker 1 And anything better that happens is like, oh, my God. All right.
Well, I'm glad we cleared this up. I'm glad we're here.
This beautiful naked girl came over and started talking to me.

Speaker 1 When did that happen down at, you know, P.J. Hitler's or wherever? PJ Hitler's.
Well, we used to say in New York there were so many bars called PJ that you could

Speaker 1 name anyone, you could name anyone PJ.

Speaker 1 So we had P.J. Hitler's was the joke.

Speaker 1 That's a good Hitler joke. There's not too many of them.
There's not too many of them.

Speaker 1 That was a long time ago. I was just in New York.
Yeesh. Wow.
And? Beautiful. We're in the view, I saw.
The view, and all of them.

Speaker 1 They're smart ladies. I'm sorry.
Oh, no. I love it.
Another group of people that were. Oh, I loved it.
They could murder you and there would not be a trace of you.

Speaker 1 They could murder you and not be a trace of you, and you wouldn't know that group. No, Joy Behart did the book reading with me that night.
I love her. Yeah.
Whoopie, I love.

Speaker 1 I mean, the other ones I had just met,

Speaker 1 they were nice. Yeah, we got along.
She called me brilliant on the air. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Sonny did? Yeah. Oh, good.

Speaker 1 So that's nice. And, you know, we talk, well, I think we all got along great.

Speaker 1 You were very well-behaved. It was nice.

Speaker 1 You're selling both.

Speaker 1 Well-behaved and got my point

Speaker 1 in big time. Yes.
So as long as you can do both, but no, I didn't pussy out. Did you like the green room? I thought the food was fantastic.
There was no food, as I recall. Really interesting.

Speaker 1 I got a lot of really great food. Food? Oh, yeah.
At that hour?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know. You probably weren't paying attention.

Speaker 1 I mean, trust me, 11 a.m., I'm not up at 11 a.m. Yes, that's the idea that I'm guessing.
I'm not on the air in makeup. I was judging green rooms as I did my book tour.
Oh, my gosh. That was.

Speaker 1 You have a good green room.

Speaker 1 You have an excellent green room. Oh, excellent.

Speaker 1 Good swag.

Speaker 1 And the staff.

Speaker 1 How great is my staff? They're very loyal to you. It's interesting.
I found that interesting. Some of them have been there 30 years.
That's correct. They keep telling me that.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 they keep telling you that. No, I think it's interesting.
No, it is. It is.
No. I mean, a lot of people

Speaker 1 offer it to me as a compliment. Like your people

Speaker 1 like to. Yeah, they'd like to.
And look, we are a bit of a family. I mean, when you're together with people that long,

Speaker 1 and it really works because, like, am I the boss who like claps everybody on the back all the time? No, I'm not. I'm just not.
That's one thing I don't do well. Hey, you did a great job this week.

Speaker 1 First of all, I don't see most of the people. Right.
I'd see the people in the writers' meeting. You know, the writers and the few producers and everybody else.

Speaker 1 I see them at the Christmas party at the end of the year and I go around and

Speaker 1 I catch up on them and I want them to know I appreciate them. But I just don't talk to people.
You know, I'm just, I'm all business. You are very shy.
People don't really ask me

Speaker 1 about you. I said he's quite shy, I would say, if I had to.
I'm not shy, but when I'm at work, I'm all business.

Speaker 1 and I don't have time for that bullshit, and it doesn't mean anything to anybody. And by the way, I remember when I had bosses, I liked it more when they weren't.
Don't you have to talk to me?

Speaker 1 It's always awkward because you're the boss, so we're not really as relaxed as we'd like to be. And what if I said the wrong thing?

Speaker 1 So, just let's just, but be, but be kind, don't never yell, don't get mad at stupid shit. Um, you know, yes, once a year we'll, we'll catch up on each other after the shows,

Speaker 1 hmm, depends on the night.

Speaker 1 Dinner with friends. I mean,

Speaker 1 sometimes just stay home.

Speaker 1 We've taped some club randoms after the show, Friday night. You know,

Speaker 1 get me while I'm already in makeup.

Speaker 1 So you just do it. Well,

Speaker 1 if somebody is in town, like you're in town now, we wanted to get you now.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it was ideal to do it after we did yours, but I'm loving it. So, you know, but that's it.

Speaker 1 Sometimes that's the great thing about podcasting is, especially in your house, you can kind of like just do it whenever, you know, I mean, just turn on the cameras.

Speaker 1 I built them into the wall for a reason. We don't even need a cameraman.
Right, right. I know there's cameras everywhere.
Great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we can, we always feel like this is just, I wanted to always feel like this would be no different. Then you're sitting around in it.
I don't think

Speaker 1 it would. No, I don't.
No wouldn't have said anything worse or better to you. Yeah.
You still didn't answer my question, which is interesting. You're quite good at that.
What?

Speaker 1 What do you do in your free time?

Speaker 1 You don't do sports, right? You don't have to do it.

Speaker 1 I love basketball. Oh, you play basketball.
Oh, you have a court here. Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah. That's my passion.
Is it? Well, as far as physical activity. Not pickleball.
I don't see you doing that.

Speaker 1 I started that. I love that.
Did you like it? Yeah, I was making fun of it, and then I played it once. I was like, oh, I see what they're talking about.
Yeah. It's fun.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's kind of like half-court basketball.

Speaker 1 You took out half the boring part. They took, they made tennis smaller.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. Seems so slow.
Right. And when you're older, you know, you don't want to run that much.
I like pickleball. Yeah.
So that's cool. I mean, I only played it once, but, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 one of the great things about being older is that you collect friends. I mean, that in the best sort of way.

Speaker 1 Over the decades, even, you know, if you have two or three really good friends that you come to know in a decade, you know, when you get to be in your 60s, like you know a lot of great people.

Speaker 1 So, like, there's never enough hours to see all the people I'd like to see and stuff like that. And, you know,

Speaker 1 so you just hang, sweet, hang. Well, you know,

Speaker 1 look, healing. I don't have any free time.
So that's why I have lots of kids. So I healing America

Speaker 1 is your goal. I can't.
I don't have time for women. I have to heal America, Karen.
That's what I'm doing. I'm healing America.
Yeah, that's your job. So your kids, tell me the ages now.

Speaker 1 22, 19, 4, and 2. So I'm a straight white man.
I had a second marriage, and that's what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 It's true. But it's actually true.
I literally am that guy. Right.
I'm that guy with the two families, the blended family. Another great title.
Yeah. I'm that guy.
I'm that guy.

Speaker 1 But I like, what's the other one? Tell them what.

Speaker 1 Information slut.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do them both, and they're going to be big fucking hits. And you're going to be like, that was my idea.
It would not irritate me.

Speaker 1 It wouldn't give me such a information slut is the single best. Do you know what I was going to call one?

Speaker 1 I shouldn't tell this story, but I'm going to anyway. When my,

Speaker 1 I think I'm a pretty good parent. I'm actually really good.
My kids are great. They love each other, which is really nice.
And they get an extra state.

Speaker 1 They spent a lot of time together during COVID, which was COVID sucked, but that was one of the things is the little kids. And I'm sure you're a no-nonsense mom.

Speaker 1 Which is the best person.

Speaker 1 I'm dad. I'm fun dad.
That's who I am. Fun dad.
But I am a no-nonsense person with them, and I'm pretty strict with them in a lot of ways. And not, I make them think.

Speaker 1 I make them, I challenge their, like whenever they say something, I'm like, why did you say that do you know that i didn't do the like at one point we were at a they went to the older kids went to private school the younger kids are going to be going to public school but at one of the meetings they were all the parents you know you get in those parent meetings and i hate going to them i hate them and they were like every kid is unique if everything every kid is special and so i put my hand up i go come on every kid isn't special Why are we saying this to them?

Speaker 1 Because it's not true. And so they were like, no, every kid is special.
I said, every kid is different.

Speaker 1 That's sure, absolutely true. I said, every kid is unique.
That is 100% true. But every kid is not special.
And depends on what the judgment is. Like, is it money? Is it talent? Is it musical talent?

Speaker 1 Is it acting talent? I said, because some kids are not as good at other kids, and we have to be able to say this to them.

Speaker 1 And so, of course, this group of parents was like, and I think all parents are sort of protective of their kids, so I see it. And they're like, that's not true.

Speaker 1 And then I started saying, let's stack rank this fucking room here. Let's do that.
I said, because my wife at the time worked for Google. I said, she's the richest.

Speaker 1 So she's more special than you when it comes to money. That's for sure, or earning.

Speaker 1 And I'm kind of more special to you in journalism.

Speaker 1 And it was kind of interesting. And so I try to raise my kids, not feeling that they're not special, but that they're not, they don't get extra for

Speaker 1 being, for just being. Like they don't get extra just for doing a good job, or they don't get extra.
I think that's important. And I've lost my train of thought on this.
Well,

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 protesting the word special, it just sounds exactly like something I would do. Right.
That you don't really need to do it. You could have let it pass.

Speaker 1 I'm a word person. And we didn't.
It's also, it's a little kiddy corner to where what Larry David does on Curbier and it's like not what politics, but just it's like you could have let that pass.

Speaker 1 I couldn't. But you didn't.
I mean, that's a lot of what his things were.

Speaker 1 I think in the pilot, there's that funny scene at the restaurant where

Speaker 1 somebody pays for dinner and thanks both of them. And he's like, why is the wife getting thanks?

Speaker 1 It's like, you don't have to mention that. His whole

Speaker 1 brilliant character. It's like things that you could have let it pass, but you just can't help stop yourself.

Speaker 1 It's literally what in classic literature they would call a tragic flaw. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to get, like, I was, we, we went to see, went to, I was just in Nashville just before this.

Speaker 1 And last time I was there, I went to Dollywood because I love Dollywood. Everyone loves it.
Who doesn't? You have to. It's kind of a national situation.
You kind of,

Speaker 1 she's totally likable. So I went to Dollywood, and it's this great place where, like, literally, it was like the gays, the rednecks, the straits, they were all together, love with the butterflies.

Speaker 1 Everybody's happy, but everyone is happy in Dollywood, and they like each other in Dollywood. Right.
Well, we're searching for this answer to happy.

Speaker 1 I'm just telling you, Dollywood is the fucking answer for everything. So we're in there, but then you leave and you go to Pigeon Forge, which is now not a small town.

Speaker 1 It is a big town of a lot of like fried dough places. The Pigeon Forge is where she was born, but now it's a town based on Dollywood.
Pigeon Forge? That's where she's from. You need to keep up.

Speaker 1 You need to keep up with the Dolly information. Pigeon Forge.
That's the name of the town, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I know.
What does it mean? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 is it a hauler? It was a hauler, but now it's a giant strip mall, essentially, of all this stuff. And my son happens to love cooking, so there was a sign that said, biggest knife store.

Speaker 1 And we're like, oh, let's get you some cooking knives.

Speaker 1 So we pull up park the car and the part i didn't see was biggest knife and gun store right so we walk in and there so he's going he's going to look for some knives and it's like this like gun like supermarket essentially and so i go in and i'm looking around and there's a woman and she's filling up her cart with bullets just filling them up with bullets, right?

Speaker 1 Doesn't look like she can afford that many bullets because bullets are not inexpensive, just so you know. Filling them up, cart with them.

Speaker 1 and so i go i shouldn't do this this is what i do all the time i'm like why do you need that many bullets right and she's like it's my right to have that many i'm going to use a southern accent because she had one this is my right to own them i said i didn't say you shouldn't buy them i said what do you need them for right she goes well you're questioning why i wanted so many bullets i go no i want to know why right what are you going to shoot with that is it is is it like a can is it a target is it a fake deer is it jeer is it a squirrel that's a lot of bullets for a squirrel i was like why do you need so many and she started going on about how Antifa was coming for her small town.

Speaker 1 I go, I don't think Antifa wants to come to your shitty little town. I don't feel like that's the case.
And I kept arguing with them. I'm like, why do you need that many?

Speaker 1 Why do you need to pay that money? Don't you need that money for other things like your kids or education or things like that?

Speaker 1 And then I was sort of talking with the gun people. I'm like, why do you need seven? Like, do you need seven? Like, well, we can have them.
I said, I didn't say you couldn't have them.

Speaker 1 I'm like, why do you need? And I was doing this and I sort of started to get a crowd. And my son was like, let's get the fuck out of here, mom.
What are you doing? And I was like, what am I doing?

Speaker 1 Because they all have guns and you can carry them there, I think, I believe. I don't know.
But nonetheless. It's amazing.
Of course. That's my gun story.
We hear about guns and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 But it is amazing how much if you just do this kind of thing, like I should have been in a lot of fights in my life. Yeah.
Because I am the same way. And I've never been in one.
Me neither.

Speaker 1 I just think like. if you're if people sense that you're real about it and you're not doing it to make fun of them right i wasn't i wanted to know i wanted wanted to know.
I didn't

Speaker 1 repeated that to you. They respect balls.
Right. Right.
Even if it's not in something that they agree with. Right.
Well, they were sort of like, do you not like guns? I said, I like safe ownership.

Speaker 1 I think certainly it's in the Constitution. You should certainly be able to.
Well, here's a sentence you'll never hear in America. What?

Speaker 1 If you're going over to the holler, holla.

Speaker 1 I'm saying black people do not live in the holler. No.

Speaker 1 Some do. It's not true.
No, really? There were black people in the the store. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Lots of people.

Speaker 1 Maybe they were buying knives. Maybe they were buying guns.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, Apalachia I think of as very that like I'm often saying to people, well, maybe you're exaggerating, racism still exists for sure. Maybe you're exaggerating, but Apalachia seems like the

Speaker 1 epicenter of where the kind of racism that we thought of as like actual real racism still, unfortunately, I mean, lives.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, my grandparents, my grandparents had, I would call, casual racism, and I don't mean to use that.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what you mean. They'd say things and you're like, oh, no, no, no, honey.

Speaker 1 Don't say, but that she would do that about the Poles or the, you know, my sister-in-law is Irish, and she said she called her the potato, you know, things like that, like the, or she's drunk or something like that.

Speaker 1 But one of the things that was interesting, my family's from West Virginia, my dad's family. Oh, really? So Appalachia, right?

Speaker 1 And we went there. My dad died when I was little.
And my aunt was just a very religious, lovely person, couldn't be lovelier.

Speaker 1 Very, very Jesus-y, very, Jesus was every five words. And I respected that.
She that was her faith. And we went there and she gave me a box of stuff for my dad and handed it to me.

Speaker 1 And I was looking through it. I was like, oh, wow, it's all these letters that he had and all kinds of things.
And then I found some playbills, looked down at the playbill.

Speaker 1 Blackface, a blackface show, right? A minstrel show. My dad was in a minstrel show in high school, 1956, Morgantown, West Virginia, right? Or whatever, earlier than that, 52.

Speaker 1 And I looked at it and I was like, oh my God, wow. And then I saw the script and I'm like, he was boxcar Willie.
And I was like, oh, my fucking God, my dad played blackface.

Speaker 1 I didn't know this about him. Also, it was at the time, remember the governor of Virginia, the Democratic governor Northam was caught.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so I look at it and my kids didn't know anything about this really, that much. And they go, what is that? And I go, well, it's blackface.

Speaker 1 And people would dress up and they were younger at the time. And I said, they dressed up and they, well, why would they do that?

Speaker 1 I'm like, Well, they thought it was funny, and it wasn't really funny, but this is what they did, this is what happened.

Speaker 1 And then, white people would put on shows like this, and I was trying to explain it to them, like in a very even-handed tone.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I don't think it was very now today, we can't do that, but and it wasn't funny, and it was racist, clearly, racist.

Speaker 1 And then, all of a sudden, from my aunt came out of the kitchen, she goes, Oh, that was so funny, everybody loved it.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I go,

Speaker 1 Okay, everyone didn't love it. And I was trying to help my kids.
And she goes, no, everybody didn't. I said, I bet black people didn't like it in your town.

Speaker 1 And she goes, no, everybody's nice.

Speaker 1 They didn't say it, but they didn't like it. Of course.
My guess is they didn't like it. Maybe one did, but Candace Owen did, but whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm teasing.

Speaker 1 So she's like, no, they didn't. I'm like, oh, they didn't.
And so that was it. I was like, but kids like, look, today we got to look, that was then.
This is now. We know better.
I guess we learn.

Speaker 1 We evolve. You don't do that now.
It's disrespectful. it's rude and it's just stupid it's also stupid just at the very basic and so later when we were washing dishes um she

Speaker 1 my son goes oh my god i can't believe my grandfather was in black base i've been reading about it on the internet now this is crazy and i said yeah and all of a sudden my aunt said i'm not racist you know my aunt who never says a crossword said i'm not racist you know

Speaker 1 and very upset about it because she didn't want to be seen as racist because she's a g you know she's a christian she's and i said

Speaker 1 okay and she goes well i'm not and i said i probably was a little racist i said we're all a little racist we're all racist in some fashion and it's okay like it's changed things have changed but you have to realize you know what it was i've never seen her upset once except that one time and it was because she thought i thought she was racist which was or my kids did and it was a really interesting I think,

Speaker 1 I don't like learning moments, but it was sort of like, huh, it was such an insight to a lot of Trump supporters, a lot of people.

Speaker 1 It was such an insight. And, and she's, I would say, a good person, but she just,

Speaker 1 it was, it was interesting. I'll finish this last thing.
Is, you ever seen the movie Origins? Ava Du Vernay did it. It didn't get much attention.
Great movie.

Speaker 1 I have to say, it was based on Isabel Wilkerson's book called Caste. She was trying to change the idea of how we look at racism as more of a caste system.
It's an amazing book.

Speaker 1 It's about castes in India, castes, the caste of racism in this country, and what was the third caste? I'm blanking. Anyway,

Speaker 1 it was just showing how

Speaker 1 it's about social levels and stuff, and we should see it through those, through that prism versus just racism. We can start to heal if we see it as a caste system.

Speaker 1 And it was really, it's a really interesting book. And

Speaker 1 somewhat controversial. I interviewed Isabel right after.

Speaker 1 January 6th was a great interview, but then I interviewed Ava DuVernay about it. But at the end of the movie, my favorite part of it was

Speaker 1 she lives in this house,

Speaker 1 and it's about Isabel's life. And she lives in this house, and

Speaker 1 there's a scene where she runs into a plumber who's fixing the basement, which is leaking, and there's a lot of mold. He's wearing a Trump hat, a you know, Make America Great Again hat.
And

Speaker 1 she doesn't know what to do because here's a black woman with the makeup. It was really tense.
Like you're sort of like, oh no, this is going to be a problem.

Speaker 1 So they have a really, actually good conversation about his life, which was, she made it about his life and not, they didn't get into this trope of who they each were, you know, liberal black woman, Trump, white guy.

Speaker 1 And at the end of the movie, they say something that I thought was really profound, which was,

Speaker 1 look, this is the house we live in. It was built on racism.
It was built on all kinds of injustices, right? This is, this is, and the bones of the house have problems. And in her case,

Speaker 1 it was a framing

Speaker 1 foundational problem. So it's been built badly over the years.
Some of it's good, some of it's bad, but there's a lot of bad things.

Speaker 1 That's not really what we need to be arguing about anymore. What we should argue about is what we're going to do with it now.
Exactly. And that was a really interesting thing.

Speaker 1 And I thought, okay, that's a way to get people.

Speaker 1 And you don't excuse. what happened.
No. Because I think what's happening in the South about pretending it didn't happen is just live in the year we're living in.

Speaker 1 Right, but we still, you have to live in the world we're living in with a knowledge of the world we live in. and the year we're living in carries the scars of the past.

Speaker 1 This past lives on in the present. Like history lives on in the moment we're living in.

Speaker 1 Except that some people are indeed trying to erase it. Yes.
100%. Some people are trying to erase it and some people are trying to exaggerate it.

Speaker 1 I'm more against the erasers than the exaggerators. I can take the exaggerators.
Well, there is a lot of weaponization of what. Certainly.
Certainly.

Speaker 1 Look at that. You agree to even get to the end of the second.
Go ahead. No, no, I'm glad.

Speaker 1 Please cut me off. I don't know why you have to equalize them because the erasers are the real danger of that.
No, I disagree.

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot of bad that comes from people weaponizing white guilt, is what I was going to say, because

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 preach on the one hand, like Joe Biden the other day, that you have to work 10 times as hard, that the world is just so stacked against you, which is not...

Speaker 1 First of all, it's not true.

Speaker 1 It can be somewhat stacked against you, and it can help you somewhat to be a person of color. I certainly know this personally, anecdotally, from people.

Speaker 1 So, and of course, there are statistics about it. I mean, I think a third of,

Speaker 1 was it in 2022, third of white kids applying to college lied and said they were

Speaker 1 people of color. Okay, so I'm not saying racism is over or that it's all better to be black.
No, but it's a lot more complicated than it used to be.

Speaker 1 Except that the erasure or the banning of books or anything is a very different, that is people who have had. But erasure, you mean like not teaching black? Black, real history, actual history.

Speaker 1 And by the way,

Speaker 1 I think that's mostly a bullshit charge. I mean,

Speaker 1 I was in that all-white town we talked about before, New Jersey, like in the 1960s.

Speaker 1 We learned what slavery was, and we learned it was wrong. That's correct, and that's the way it should be taught.

Speaker 1 And it was, I'm saying, but this is an all-white town in 1968, and they weren't erasing history. So why is the Republican Party obsessed with not talking about it anymore?

Speaker 1 Because part of it is a reaction to what happened. We're talking about it too much.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Part of it is a reaction to the 1619 kind of idea, Kendi and Robin DiAngelo, that racism is everything, that everything, that's what critical race theory really means. We have to see everything.

Speaker 1 And I would agree, it is America's biggest, baddest, awfulest sin. There's no close second, but not everything is racism.
That kind of, that's the kind of theme I'm.

Speaker 1 I do actually think everyone, I think what happens is certain people get outsized attention for this stuff, for some of it, which is nonsense. It's over the top.

Speaker 1 And they get, you know, Tom Wolfe wrote about it 100 years ago, about, you know, the meeting with the Black Panthers. Not really 100 kids, if you don't know Tom Wolfe.

Speaker 1 But Tom Wolf wrote that wonderful piece, which is great. Joan Didian did it, others did it.

Speaker 1 And one of the, and those were great to point out the idiosyncrasy. Radical chic.
Radical chic. Yeah.
Everyone was right to point that out. What year was that, we imagine? 60s, 70s.
60s. 70s.

Speaker 1 70s, right? 70s. I think Joan Didian was 70s, but late 60s, 70s.
Yeah, another thing. I was trying to point it out, but more corrosive, and I, as someone who

Speaker 1 grew up gay in America, I can tell you it's very hard, and you have to do a lot of work not to be pissed off about it.

Speaker 1 I'm not, because I felt great about being gay, but I can tell you, you can see how corrosive it was on so many levels in the way society.

Speaker 1 And so, it takes a much stronger person not to have been affected by it. And it's really hard.
I always say that. It really is.
And I'm not asking for.

Speaker 1 No, I always say there's two ways you can see an issue not clearly. You can be too far from it.
Racially, I will admit to that. I'm too far from it.
I'm not black, basically. So

Speaker 1 I cannot

Speaker 1 know what it's like to walk through life like that. You can also not be seeing things clearly by being too close to something.
That's the fly on the Mona Lisa theory.

Speaker 1 You know, the fly and the Mona Lisa cannot appreciate.

Speaker 1 What? Well,

Speaker 1 it's assuming a fly could appreciate great art.

Speaker 1 In other words, you're too close to it, so you can't see. If your nose was pressed up against a great painting, you could not.
Sure, but let's get to the Mona Lisa. What do you think? I'm like,

Speaker 1 I've said the same thing for years.

Speaker 1 It's typical, like, sheep thinking.

Speaker 1 Like, somebody made the Mona Lisa, like, this greatest thing of art, and now every moron in the world makes a trek and takes a picture of it with their cell phones, as if there's not a million pictures of it in the world already.

Speaker 1 And then somebody throws puke on it to protest the rainforest. I mean, it's kind of like those people.
I kind of like those people. Who? The people who throw things on it.
It's covered.

Speaker 1 Because it's covered up. Nothing's going to happen.
Oh, really? I like people who do things like that. I'm what you're doing.
Don't try it with that Elvis poster. I'm not.
I'm not. Are you kidding?

Speaker 1 I've been to Tupelo.

Speaker 1 I've been to Grace Club. Well, that's like beginner Elvis.
Sorry. Oh, you're a big Elvis fan? I'm a huge Elvis fan.
Explains the hairdo. I love country.
Thank you. I love country music.

Speaker 1 Again, I am a lesbian who you're not going to figure out. I wanted to be in the military.
I got married twice. Well, the military, that is not ours.

Speaker 1 Only gay gay people like the military and being married. Only gay people these days, just so you know, like being in the military.
We wanted to be in the military.

Speaker 1 Don't tell me you drive a Subaru.

Speaker 1 I had a Lesbaroo. Yes, I did.
I always got that joke from my writers. The Lesbarou? Lesbian Subaru.
And it was like, I didn't know what they were talking about. The Lesbaroo?

Speaker 1 You didn't know about the Lesbaroo? No. It's called the Lesbaroo.
Try to keep it.

Speaker 1 Now we drive Kias, just so you know. Hybrid Kias.

Speaker 1 That's what we're doing now. Why? Why? What is that? They're great because we have a lot of kids and we need three rows and we like the hybrid idea.
I also like to do that.

Speaker 1 So most lesbians have kids now? Oh, a lot of them. You know why? I told you this on your show.
We're building the militia etheridge.

Speaker 1 Did I not tell you this? I have the ambience.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But when you say lesbian, like. My kids can shoot and be sensitive.
Sorry. Shoot guns and be sensitive.
Yes, most lesbians have kids. Many gay people have kids now.
We have great fucking kids.

Speaker 1 They're great. I have to say.
But like, when you say lesbian,

Speaker 1 to me, that's like an old school term. Yeah, I know.
No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Clear is a new one.

Speaker 1 But like, there's a, there is like a lot going on in the LGBT community that like muddies

Speaker 1 the waters for someone like me on the outside, who's like an old school, you know, oh, you have a penis and you use it with women. What's wrong with you? Everybody has their...

Speaker 1 We like them too. No, I know.

Speaker 1 But it muddies it for you. Well, I'm just

Speaker 1 like, there's so much like bisexual and like transing, transitioning. But then there's like this, like, no, I just like women.
Like,

Speaker 1 I'm not like quitting on men. I just really never like.
That's not my thing.

Speaker 1 I had boyfriends, galore. Like I said, most

Speaker 1 lesbians had boyfriends. Yeah.
No, no, that's not true. That's not true.

Speaker 1 That is not true. And he did not.
Honey, I'm going to pull this off. Let me just ask you.
Let me just ask you. Terrence.
No,

Speaker 1 let me just tell you. The next roadstop.
We're pulling over.

Speaker 1 You're getting the point is, isn't it confusing these days for people like you, right? Is that what you're saying? But honestly, one,

Speaker 1 we don't care if you're confused. Oh, I don't care either.
Nobody cares if you're confused. I'm just asking.
What? Like, what is your question?

Speaker 1 Well, like, Andrew Sullivan writes a lot about, like,

Speaker 1 as an old school

Speaker 1 homosexual man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He truly is. He feels like there's stuff, and I'm a little now, so I can't reproduce it exactly, but he feels like

Speaker 1 a lot of stuff going on with the LGBT community that is like antithetical to what he

Speaker 1 marched for, and that's wrong. I don't, I don't think, why does he care what they want to do? So what if they want to do that? Like, to me, one of the things, years ago.

Speaker 1 I think he thinks they're transitioning kids sometimes who are just really gay. I do have facts on that.
It's not that many kids.

Speaker 1 And there's more kids having, more stray kids having, you know, all kinds of

Speaker 1 body surgery than there are trans kids. But we're not going, we're not going to have the trans argument here because it's a very complex argument.

Speaker 1 Here's what I think he's saying that I think is a, to me, is a problem is one of the great things about being gay is you be who you are.

Speaker 1 And if you're truly a free speech person and you're truly of be who you are, then just let them fucking call themselves whatever they want. And some of it's trendy, certainly.
Okay, great.

Speaker 1 That's what I said. Some of it's trendy.
But some of it's quite real. And they really

Speaker 1 make their lives a living fucking hell by not letting them express themselves. And some of them are going to get over it, and some of them aren't.
Well,

Speaker 1 look, you just said you don't want to have the argument here, so I'll go ahead and go. No, but go ahead.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, we are an outlier now as Americans.
That's correct. As far as our view of no, any kid for any reason at any age says they want to switch up, we hide it from the parents.
We double down on

Speaker 1 that does not happen. It does happen in schools.
Sometimes. Okay.
Minors. And we enable it in every way possible.
This is something that all don't enable it in any every way possible.

Speaker 1 See, this is nonsense. It's a small group of people that are affected.
And we've made it the biggest problem. Like, remember that interview that the governor of West Beach of West Virginia had?

Speaker 1 I think it was with Stephanie Rohl. And they passed these laws about, and I'm not getting into the sports thing because that's, I interviewed both Martina Navicholova, who's against it, and

Speaker 1 a very famous runner who's for it. And Caitlin.

Speaker 1 And all kinds of people. I get that particular argument.
I get that it's difficult. But

Speaker 1 they had the governor of West Virginia, and they passed a law about trans athletes, right? Very complex and requires a lot of really

Speaker 1 good people to have cogent arguments and not the crazies to discuss it. Right.

Speaker 1 She said, how many people are affected? He didn't know of any. They're passing laws when they should be passing laws about economy, about jobs, about everything else.

Speaker 1 This is their fucking obsession, and it's a small thing. That's one of the issues.

Speaker 1 The second second thing is with Andrew, and he and I have argued about this, is the whole crux of the gay movement is be who you are.

Speaker 1 And so if people get to, I was at a party in Silicon Valley where someone said when marriage was going on, and you know, that was the gay marriage thing. This was Proposition 8.

Speaker 1 There was all kinds of amishagas around that, about gay marriage. And this venture capitalist, a very famous venture capitalist, said,

Speaker 1 I don't, I don't mind lesbians. That's always their joke.
I love a lesbian.

Speaker 1 That's the first joke. And the second part goes, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't understand this gay man sex thing. That's how they said it in the party.
And everyone was silent because this is an important person. I couldn't do it.
And I went, you know what?

Speaker 1 If you don't like gay man sex, you should stop having it. Oh.

Speaker 1 And he said, he goes, what? And I said, you shouldn't have sex you don't like. I think that's wrong.

Speaker 1 And he said, I'm not having gay sex. I said, you just said you don't like gay man sex.
Why did you say that? Are you lying about having gay man's sex?

Speaker 1 You're either lying about having gay man's sex or you were having gay man's sex you don't like. Either way, you need to stop.

Speaker 1 And he's like, that's not what I said. And then I looked at him and I said, it's none of your fucking business what people do in their bedrooms.
It's none of your business.

Speaker 1 If they want to fuck men, they can bug men. If they want to fuck women, they can fuck men.

Speaker 1 If they want to call themselves Sylvia and, you know, go dancing on weekends, it's none of your fucking business. And that to me is the heart of gayness.

Speaker 1 And so if young people are trying different costumes on and off, I don't know why we have to not, we don't let them do it and let me tell you as someone who grew up gay when you couldn't do that it was toxic affirtiveness is toxic i don't disagree with anything you said uh my issue comes in with medical right certainly because i do have statistics down here i mean pushback into

Speaker 1 I'm not going to get into any sort of specifics, but I am 68 years old. Nobody gets to be 68 years old without having experienced issues.

Speaker 1 Let's just leave it at that.

Speaker 1 You know, it's life's a rough road in that means like your health is not going to be perfect from zero to death. That's correct.
Nobody dies completely healthy. Okay.
That's not true.

Speaker 1 That's my next book. Well,

Speaker 1 if you get shot, you do. Right.

Speaker 1 No, but there's stuff going on that's going to change that. Well, you're going to degenerate in some ways.
Anyway, I feel great. Don't ever worry about me, people.
But all I'm saying is, medically,

Speaker 1 I could know in my mind absolutely, I am not a man.

Speaker 1 I still wouldn't do anything medically because I know we are not that advanced medically where we can pull that off without serious health repercussions. I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't take aspirin, okay?

Speaker 1 I believe we are living not in the future, we're living now, where medicine can't do things like switching out organs without, I'm not saying it doesn't solve some problems sometimes, but medically, you can't look me in the eye and tell me there are not going to be serious health replications down the road for doing anything like that or puberty blockers, making my hormones, which is the very natural part of the body, flow in the opposite direction.

Speaker 1 That's your choice. I'm not against you being able to make that choice.
I think you can do anything you want with your body, including doing that.

Speaker 1 But for me, my choice, and that doesn't make me a bigot. That just makes me someone who puts my health

Speaker 1 top of the list. Here's my health.
I love sex, sexuality, but it is under health. Except why the obsession with this small problem or possibly that we can figure out

Speaker 1 I know, but I'm just saying the right thing is because you know why? I'll tell you why. Good politics.
One is good politics.

Speaker 1 And first of all, they tried with the bathrooms and nobody gave a fuck because most people like

Speaker 1 someone tell them about airplane bathrooms because we're all in the same one on those airplanes, right?

Speaker 1 They didn't work on that. At the same time.
Sometimes.

Speaker 1 People.

Speaker 1 They're talking about being in the bathroom. I get it.
But with a bunch of people. I've been in lots of bathrooms with men and women.
It's not that fucking big a deal, honestly.

Speaker 1 But find some new problem.

Speaker 1 That didn't work. I couldn't agree with that.
That didn't work. Sports sends to work, and now this transitioning thing works.
Well, it is an avenue into attacking gay and lesbian people on the whole.

Speaker 1 They're coming out of the world. There's a legitimate side to this, excuse me.
But there's concerns that they're not.

Speaker 1 Women very reasonably do not want penises in prisons and they do not want them in the swimming pool and they do not want them in the locker room. Women feel that way.

Speaker 1 No, I feel some women do, some women don't. I respect the people who don't want to see the penises.
I don't particularly. Whoopi, what do you think? Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought I was on the view.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been on the view? I was. It was great.
You should. Let me just tell you why I love the view.
I was on the view. Can you imagine if you were on the view every day? Can I just tell you?

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if you're on the view every day? Can I tell you? They asked me to be guest host this morning and I couldn't do it because I'm here with you.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm saying. Thank you.
I love her. And the best thing that ever happened to me on my entire book tour was I was on the view and I was talking to Sonny.

Speaker 1 And then Whoopi Killer was me, and all she said is, you're cool. And then walked away.
And I was like, my life is done. I'm going to bet.

Speaker 1 I talked to her a long time after the show. It was so great to reconnect.
I hadn't seen her in a long time. She's cool.
She's the best. She's fucking cool.
She's iconic. She is.
Everything.

Speaker 1 I mean, she can do whatever she wants.

Speaker 1 And she's doing whatever she wants. I mean, she lives in Italy.
Oh, she does? Yeah. She told me that.
How? She's in my house every morning.

Speaker 1 I thought the same thing. Obviously, she has time off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's where she considers herself to live. And I think that's a really cool place to live.
I couldn't do it myself. I'm kind of hooked on this crazy mixed-up country.
You have this compound.

Speaker 1 I can't move it anywhere. You have a compound.
You're going to die right here in the country. Right here in the compound.

Speaker 1 Maybe tonight. I wish I had a compound.
I don't have a compound. Compounds are great.
I should have a compound. I have children.
No, they're so great. I can have them all live there with me.
Right?

Speaker 1 I mean, when I think of like how when I was 18 to 28, I had no money, the worst sort of slummy apartments in college and then New York, always with roommates I didn't like, never had a bathtub I could get into,

Speaker 1 you know, smelling other people's shit in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 It's like it really makes it worthwhile. Makes worthwhile.

Speaker 1 It just makes it nicer, you know, like to.

Speaker 1 Well, you can't live in stocks, they say. You can live in your houses.

Speaker 1 you can't live in stocks you know that's why a lot of people buy houses can ask you so do you like and i know we have to go soon but do you do you regret not having children

Speaker 1 fuck no i

Speaker 1 there was one thing i'm having them all for you me and elon musk but there was one thing in my life that has been like steady from the beginning

Speaker 1 to the end and that is when i was a kid i didn't like kids yeah and i still don't

Speaker 1 that is just like steady other things up and down and

Speaker 1 that one like right across the board now i don't hate them. I hate babies.
I don't like babies are gross. I don't want to, I've never touched a baby except once in a sketch when I had to.

Speaker 1 They have nothing to offer. I understand.
You need to go through that phase to become a human.

Speaker 1 You need. But like, I can talk to a kid.
Kids actually like to talk to me. We want to do a club random where I talk to kids.
Oh, that sounds like

Speaker 1 illegal. Illegal.

Speaker 1 I want to do a club. I'm going to have a

Speaker 1 carrot. I'm going to go smoke in my pot and

Speaker 1 five-year-olds. I mean, no, it's not.
We're never going to be able to. No, we're never going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 I think it'd be fun to talk to kids because I talk to them probably the way you do. Like, I don't talk to them like I'm an adult talking to a child.
I just talk to them like we talk to everybody.

Speaker 1 We just say what we think. And kids do that.
So we're kind of on the same level.

Speaker 1 Kind of the secret to, I feel like preserving yourself and your sanity and feeling youthful even as you get older is keeping that quality, that childlike, not childish, that childlike quality of, you know, as Richard Pryor used to say, if a kid says you're ugly, you're ugly.

Speaker 1 True, it's childlike, but not childish. One of the things I talk about is the childishness of like the tech people.
They're childish.

Speaker 1 They like to say they're childlike, but they're childish and a bad child at that. Yeah.
Like, I mean, the thing you were talking about, performative before, like, who's the duty

Speaker 1 bank sandwich? Yeah, Bankman Free with his hair, the unmade bed. I call him the unmade bed.
All I had to do was go like this, and you know what I was saying.

Speaker 1 You know, he's a mess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put on a shirt. Yeah.
Put on a clean shirt. Now we're on the newlywed game, and I have to make you think he's a mess.

Speaker 1 I think he's in jail now. He's going when.
Oh, God. All my liberal friends are going to be like, oh, you're getting along with Bill Maher.
Jesus, Kara. See, that's what I hate about America.
You do?

Speaker 1 You hate it. I hate when people,

Speaker 1 like, I'm friends with Ann Coulter. It's like, I hate that people, I hate that you like somebody.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Fuck off. You want to unfriend me?

Speaker 1 Good luck. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Don't need, don't need people like that. My move is not goodbye.
My move is not. Goodbye to people who don't want to.

Speaker 1 I'm just like,

Speaker 1 then you don't have to like them. Just like I said to that veteran, don't you? No, they're the ones who are starting it.

Speaker 1 They hate that I like somebody. I mean, that's, I mean, that's kind of what you just said, is that your friends are going to not like you.
Yeah, but I won't go, fuck you. I'll be like, okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's just a bad attitude. That's my answer to everything, okay?

Speaker 1 It's just a bad attitude i don't care it bothers me i don't care i don't care my whole attitude towards life now is but not i'm i'm not as old as you for example but i am 62 i'm 61.

Speaker 1 um i um a lot of my life is now okay like you know it's sort of like that okay whatever yeah you do that i think you got to have a little both i mean i'm certainly certain certainly have the irish in me still that kind of like

Speaker 1 but i also feel like i have mellowed and that's nice too i mean it is great

Speaker 1 I think that, you know, people have bucket lists. I think even better than a bucket list for me anyway, when bucket list is, you know, things you want to do.
Oh, I know what that is. I know.

Speaker 1 I'm telling everybody. Okay.

Speaker 1 That the list of things that I used to do that I no longer have to do. Right.
Or don't, yeah, basically have to do. Yeah.
Like Christmas shopping. Yeah.
Like

Speaker 1 nobody's going to, you know, sorry. I made a vow never to read anything about Henry Kissinger again.
Yeah. It's like it's taking up mind space.
I don't like him. Sure.
On the whole,

Speaker 1 trying to think, okay, but otherwise, no, not so much. That's the kind of stuff.
But what is on your bucket list right now? Nothing. I'm saying I don't care about the bucket list.

Speaker 1 I care about the list of things I no longer want to do that I just want to squeeze out of my life. And I've been very successful, I think, at doing that.

Speaker 1 I mean, I feel like I very rarely do things I don't want to do. These last two days on a bookstore in in New York, an exception.

Speaker 1 You did that. I know.
You did look vaguely uncomfortable in every area. Oh, I did not.
I did fantastic. You did this.
You had this

Speaker 1 10-yard stair.

Speaker 1 You did. You did.
You did well. That's different than you.
But every now and then you could see it in your eyes. You're like, this is what Sam Harris calls leftist mind reading.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 I'm not mind reading. I can see your face.
You're like, oh, God, what am I doing here? You know that went through your head.

Speaker 1 I know how I felt. Yes.
But that's different. As a performer, you're a clown.
Right. Okay.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 1 There's no business-like show. A little business.
There's no dance. There's no business.
A little self-down your pants. I get that.
I get that.

Speaker 1 But I'm telling you, you had looks. I was watching them.
I was studying them characters. Well, I'm getting it again.
All right. Okay.
Take care.

Speaker 1 I really, really thought this was fun.

Speaker 1 I hope you did too. I did too, and I have

Speaker 1 a buzz on it. I'm really sorry that your friends are going to not like you for liking me.
that's all but i don't give a fuck

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