Listen Now: The Sage Steele Show | Mayim Bialik

Speaker 1 Well, and you've been open about some things, right? I'm so grateful that you had the courage to do that. I don't know if you view it that way, but

Speaker 1 eating disorders,

Speaker 1 issues with food,

Speaker 1 depression,

Speaker 1 anxiety, OCD. The whole list.
The whole list. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I wonder, because I have no clue, genuine questions here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 as a child actor and being in that when it was a very different era Yeah.

Speaker 1 And all of the other isms and reasons and traumas and all the things, like you've lived a life. Yeah, I've had a big life.

Speaker 1 I've lived a life. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I think it's kind of interesting because, you know,

Speaker 1 the time that I was acting, I started professionally acting when I was 11, which is obviously we, you know, very tiny.

Speaker 1 But for the industry, it's considered a very late entry because usually child actors start at like two or three. Even then? So yeah, even then most kids were in commercials and

Speaker 1 even like I was on blossom from the time I was 14 to 19, but you know, the other two teens on the show had been acting since they were little, you know, like toddlers.

Speaker 1 So I was the one who was like, I just got here. Like what's happening? Right.
So that being said, it's still, you know, I grew up. in front of cameras and it was very strange.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I like to say I had like 11 years before I even started acting just to grow up in my home, you know, which like does its own, you know, a lot happens in the first 11 years of your life.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I was, I was raised by people who were raised by very hurt people, you know, and hurt people hurt. And,

Speaker 1 you know, three of my four grandparents came from Eastern Europe.

Speaker 1 My mom's parents fled the pogroms leading up to the Holocaust.

Speaker 1 My grandmother was an orphan, you know, by the time she was a teenager. And,

Speaker 1 you know, my mom's parents literally like met in night school where they were both trying to learn English. My grandmother, I don't think finished like elementary school.

Speaker 1 You know, they were sweatshop workers. They didn't speak English very well their whole life.

Speaker 1 They never drove. They went on an airplane twice in their whole life.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And yeah, like I grew up with a mother whose native tongue was not English, you know? So

Speaker 1 my dad's parents had a more assimilated kind of American experience.

Speaker 1 But, you know, World War II was a very hard time to be born. My grandfather served in the Army.
He served in the U.S. Army.
And, you know, my dad was conceived on leave visits

Speaker 1 while my grandfather was stationed. And,

Speaker 1 you know, my parents did the best that they could with the tools and resources and education that they were given.

Speaker 1 But times were very, very different. You know,

Speaker 1 they were parented during the war with a lot of trauma, a lot of trauma, you know.

Speaker 1 And some people go through the Depression or some people go through Holocaust,

Speaker 1 you know, and that era and they come out optimistic and fantastic and, you know, and my mom's mother in particular, she never recovered, you know, from what she saw. She never recovered.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, my mom is this like really bubbly, artistic, like charismatic person, but like, there's a lot there, you know?

Speaker 1 And my dad, you know, struggled a lot. We didn't know what manic depression was.

Speaker 1 I just knew that sometimes he'd be up for days and he would, you know, think that he had special powers, you know, that other people didn't understand.

Speaker 1 And then other times I didn't know what I'd find when I came home you know and we didn't we didn't call it that so to answer your question the time when I was in the industry I think affected me less than the other aspects of my life because I was really fortunate I was always on clean sets I never saw drugs I never saw alcohol I always worked with pretty professional grown-ups, you know, and

Speaker 1 you know, I obviously was in a very charmed situation having my own television show when I was 14 and very new in the industry. Gosh.

Speaker 1 And I knew that, obviously, love to hear you say that. Yeah, it was very weird.

Speaker 1 It felt weird to me. Really? It literally felt like I was in this movie Beaches.
I played Bette Midler when she was young. And it was literally like the movie came out.

Speaker 1 And then I woke up at 19 and like, what just happened? Like, that's what it felt like. And then I was still, you know, being in my home, you know, with my parents.
And there was a lot of struggle.

Speaker 1 You know, I grew up, I grew up in alcoholism.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's something that like, you know, when you talk to enough people who grew up with addiction in their home you'll often find that they have depression or anxiety or ocd or like something yeah so you know um i was interviewed by dan harris you know for the 10 happier podcast and you know he was like you got a lot of things like why so many things and i was like sit in an al-anon meeting find people who don't have all these things you know like when you grow up with people who are struggling you often struggle you know and i was a real fix it kid i wanted to fix everybody's problems i wanted to like be the person that everybody went to and like make it all okay.

Speaker 1 That's a disease right there. 100%.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, what it looks like is that there's not like a start, middle, and end to what it means to heal, you know? And every subsequent challenge or wound will open that up.

Speaker 1 You know, when I look now at my marriage, I see how many things was me reenacting. you know, the only way I knew how to interact, right?

Speaker 1 And that's not to say if I knew better, I would have stayed married. Like Like that's, that's not the point.
The point is I get to take responsibility, you know, for what was my part.

Speaker 1 What do I still have to work on? And what am I trying to impart to my kids, you know?

Speaker 1 Because that's scary too, to be able to say to them, like, I really messed up yesterday when I said that to you, right? Let's go back. I'm going to do it again, you know?

Speaker 1 And no one did that for me as a kid. They did the best they could, you know, they really did.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, you know, people say alcoholism is the disease that can kill people who don't even have it. It's a family disease, you know? It is.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 it's been a very interesting road. And no, a lot of people in my family don't believe in those labels or diagnoses.

Speaker 1 And that's, you know, that's hard too, but everybody gets to do it their own way. And I don't have to manage that either, you know?

Speaker 1 It's take care of me, take care of my kids.

Speaker 1 What's my relationship like with God? That's sort of my daily job, job you know or with something bigger than me you don't have to call it god um or you yeah

Speaker 1 yeah i i happen to call it that but like that's sort of that's you know where i try and gear my most of my mental energy

Speaker 1 so with all of those things you know yeah what is your

Speaker 1 what's a day in the life because along with those things i i what is really blowing me away is all of the other things that you choose i mean your hands are in a little bit of everything.

Speaker 1 You're so busy. Well, things are calming down now.
But yeah, I have

Speaker 1 to be busy. So for the last several decades,

Speaker 1 you know, while handling that, like, how have you been such a pretty good multitasker, apparently? And I'm not saying that you've done it all perfectly. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, emotions can't hit a moving target. I don't know if you've ever heard that.

Speaker 1 So I think that's also the process. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, always being busy means you don't have to spend a lot of time inside, you know?

Speaker 1 But, you know, emotions are like pee. Like you can try and hold them in, but they're going to come out eventually.
Okay. Why? I have not heard that one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like eventually the body starts talking, you know, the body will speak to you. Is that why you're slowing down? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's part of why I'm slowing down because like I can't do at 48 what I did at 18 or 28 or even 38.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 there's still a lot that I can do, want to do. I mean, the podcast takes up a lot of my energy, and I love that.

Speaker 1 I do that with my partner, which is like a whole other thing to talk about of like my kids getting to see, like, oh, our mom is dating someone. What is that? You know, like, I need your help.

Speaker 1 I know, it's like the whole thing. I need a date first.

Speaker 1 But then at that point, if you can help with that as well. It's the whole thing.
But like, that's because they're teenagers and they're watching and they're boys. Protective.

Speaker 1 And they're learning, you know? So anyway, the, you know, the podcast does take up a a lot of my energy.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 I was on Big Bang Theory for nine years, and then I did a sitcom for three years.

Speaker 1 And then I did Jeopardy, you know, for two years. And like, that was not even full-time, you know, but it was still a lot.
It's a big, you know, time commitment. So yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 1 Every single thing is big. Everything's big.
All those things that you just mentioned. And those are just like along with the other things.
So what...

Speaker 1 What has made you dive deeper on wanting to

Speaker 1 hand, we got to come up with something better than things, but to dive deeper on that and to begin to heal more. What was the turning point?

Speaker 1 I don't know if there's one turning point. It's a lot of things.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition at 23, and I have a thyroid condition, which a lot of people have a thyroid condition. I have an overactive thyroid.

Speaker 1 And it's interesting because back then in 1998,

Speaker 1 They didn't know really what that meant in terms of like your larger health, meaning they didn't make any dietary recommendations they were like don't eat seaweed because it's high in iodine and the thyroid really likes iodine but like take all these pills and you'll be fine

Speaker 1 and now when you're diagnosed with an autoimmune condition it's like don't eat gluten don't do this take these supplements you know do work out like this and sleep like this and so it's very interesting because i'm also realizing that like for 25 years i've been functioning on you know an autoimmune condition, which if I were diagnosed with that today, I'd be on a protocol.

Speaker 1 I'd be on a regimen, right? Yeah. So it's kind of like, oh, the body, the body might need a little

Speaker 1 time. Like, I need rest in a different way.

Speaker 1 And now when I read like, oh, if you have an autoimmune condition, like optimal sleep hours or that, I was like, oh, maybe I should try and sleep like a real person. What a concept.
Right.

Speaker 1 How much do you sleep?

Speaker 1 I didn't used to sleep a lot. And now I need to be in bed for like eight or nine hours.
I just have to be in bed. Well, I just.

Speaker 1 I have to do it. Well, I do too.
I go to bed for my kids. Right.
Well, so this is the thing. Your body will start talking.
Well, it kind of already, yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's also, again, we take it for granted

Speaker 1 because of our age. We're going to be able to do it.
I used to function on six-hour sleep.

Speaker 1 I'd take a red eye. Yeah, I would take a red eye and I'd be like, oh, I'm right.
Let's go. And I was like, oh, no, she can't do that anymore.
Mama tired. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When that out-of-body experience and you're looking, and plus, then you sometimes like look in the mirror, like, look hard. And I'm not saying in a critical way, but like on a side.

Speaker 1 Well, that's so that's so it's all these other thing.