John Leguizamo | Club Random

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Speaker 2 How do you do it? Dude, it's not easy anymore.

Speaker 2 I used to have a photographic memory. It's really now there's a lens cap over it.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 The hottest woman in the whole country. Yes, none would talk to you, but they know the hottest.

Speaker 2 You're good here. Hi.

Speaker 2 I can't see you, but. Remember Arsenio?

Speaker 2 Did you ever do that show? Yeah, I did a couple times.

Speaker 2 I love that. How are you, bro? How you doing, man? I know your hand up.
Oh, yeah. I didn't want to mess your hand up.
That's right. I wasn't sure.
You're already messed up. How you doing?

Speaker 2 Welcome to the Left Coast. Left Coast is awesome, man.
Do you like it here? I do like it. I won't live here, but I love it here.
I love visiting and getting the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 That's how I feel about New York. No.

Speaker 2 Why? Do I have to love New York to be a little bit more? I think you've got to kind of love New York because New York, come on, it's the cradle of civilization.

Speaker 2 Well, it's certainly not the cradle of civilization. It is a cradle of civilization.
Okay, it doesn't matter. In America, in America.
And the world. In the world right now.

Speaker 2 America is an all of civilization. We do know what the cradles of civilization are.
Were, were. I mean, they're no longer.

Speaker 2 That's so chauvinistic. I mean, you know, you can love your city.
New York East.

Speaker 2 Look at my shirt.

Speaker 2 I get it. I know.
I lived there twice. I'm from New Area.
My father commuted from New Jersey into New York every day. Oh, you're from Jersey.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's not the same. That's not the same.
Come on. It's not.
Okay, it's not the same. You're right.
And I think better because I like living in the suburbs. I don't like living in a building.

Speaker 2 I had all the advantages of New York. By the way, never have given up on the New York teams.
Still root for the Knicks. Can you believe this Knicks situation?

Speaker 2 You fire the coach before you even hire the coach?

Speaker 2 I'm so glad they fired him. I think he was.

Speaker 2 I agree with you. I don't like him.
Because he played.

Speaker 2 First of all, he played. He did not give them enough rest.
No, no, he wore them out. He broke them.
He broke them. He learned to have a larger rotation during the play.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 And in game four, he started rotating. I'm so glad you agree with me.
He started to rotate. It put the bench in, but it just went.

Speaker 2 And it worked. You don't learn to play.
But it was also too late because these guys hadn't warmed up all season, hadn't gelled with the team, and they came in like maniacs. And they still played well.

Speaker 2 They did. And it just showed, he should have been doing that all year long.
You can't wear these guys out like that. You can't play

Speaker 2 people like that.

Speaker 2 Even if they could do it physically, which we saw the year before they broke down physically, mentally.

Speaker 2 You can't sustain. You can't sustain it.
You can't. No one can.

Speaker 2 He's like a nicer Bobby Knight, that coach. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a tough dude.

Speaker 2 I'm so glad they got rid of him. Yeah, but they didn't do it right, though.
I mean, you got to hire coach first and then you let him go.

Speaker 2 You know who? I bet you Jason Kidd will do it.

Speaker 2 I think they can get away. I don't know.

Speaker 2 How are they going to take him away from a winning team like that? I mean, I know they got more money. I know Jim Dolan will go into his pockets.
Because it's New York, John.

Speaker 2 It's the cradle of civilization. He agrees with me.
I don't. You got it on camera.
You got it on camera. I'm just mocking you.
It's not the cradle of civilization.

Speaker 2 I could name the cradles of civilization. There's four of them.
But contemporary, contemporary-wise. Contemporary, well, you know, I mean, where was the birth of hip-hop?

Speaker 2 The birth of punk was New York City.

Speaker 2 The greatest playwrights were coming from New York City. The greatest writers, the yeah, come on.
There's more to civilization than what's on

Speaker 2 the 101.5.

Speaker 2 You know, I agree it's part of civilization, it's music and culture. It's not, there are other poetry, dude, poetry slams, New York and poets.
Poetry. Come on, Pinero.

Speaker 2 All of it was happening in New York.

Speaker 2 So, okay. I mean, that's a part of what civilization is.
But just because it's that important to you doesn't mean it's that way for everybody. So, so do you think most people care about it?

Speaker 2 Is it not important to you?

Speaker 2 punk and hip-hop is not important to you? Important?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 That's what you're saying. I don't think.

Speaker 2 That's an affectation you've picked up. Because you don't talk like that if you're from Jersey.

Speaker 2 Actually, I did. My father was a newsman.
Oh, okay. And so that's where you get that great voice.
And the speaking was very important in our family and speaking like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I never really had the New York accent, which is good. But I always had the New York mentality.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think one reason I did well out here is because they lack East Coast kind of vibe out there. They don't.
They don't have that vibe. And when you bring it,

Speaker 2 it stands out. It works.
It's electric. Yeah.
You know, we're just... We're confrontational.

Speaker 2 I mean, you have to be confrontational in New York because you're confronted every day by millions of people, different cultures, different economic backgrounds. You got to be alert.

Speaker 2 You've got to be on your game.

Speaker 2 That's what I didn't like about New York. Like, I don't

Speaker 2 know. I don't want to always be on my game.
People used to say,

Speaker 2 you know, I get my energy from the people on the street.

Speaker 2 And I would say, I use all my energy trying to get by these people.

Speaker 2 I don't want to have it. No, I hear you.
I hear you. But I love it.
I feel

Speaker 2 like it's a lot of fun. And that's what makes the world go around

Speaker 2 is that we just don't agree and we're still friends because

Speaker 2 it's a beautiful thing. And also, it's nice that you can have a place, like you say, where you go, where you don't want to live, but you still like it.

Speaker 2 that's how i feel about new york a beautiful fall weekend oh my god there's nothing like it in new york trees changing and and all that and the plague right it's beginning of all the theater season and all the tv series

Speaker 2 back to the theater

Speaker 2 you're you're one of the most accomplished don't you have a lifetime achievement from uh

Speaker 2 finally i mean after years of being snubbed uh for all my one-man shows really you think you were snubbed oh yeah i feel like i was was snubbed.

Speaker 2 I feel like I was changing comedy in America in really important ways, and I don't think I was getting the recognition I deserved. Well, I could make the same claim.
So do it.

Speaker 2 No, because

Speaker 2 I don't think it's a good look to you. No, it's not a good look, but sometimes

Speaker 2 you have to pat yourself on the back. Otherwise, who's going to, if nobody's going to recognize you, you got to recognize yourself.
That's the New Yorker. That's right.
Recognize.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, I'm not going to say

Speaker 2 I've never, like, in this very chair, bitched about my 40 Emmy nominations and they never would give me one. I understand why.
And I have bitched. Why didn't they give it to you?

Speaker 2 Because I'm too truthful, because I'm not woke enough.

Speaker 2 People like you get awards because it's the woke speaking to the woke. So, you know, it's always going to...
And that's okay. I understand that.
I'd much rather have the freedom to speak.

Speaker 2 always as I have completely freely and completely truthfully as I see. Well, it's interesting you're saying that because you're right.
People who start seeking awards and recognition

Speaker 2 start

Speaker 2 couching their speech and their themes to get those awards. So you have to hit certain,

Speaker 2 you can't say certain things. And it works, by the way.
It works. Yeah, yeah, it can't work.
Because, I mean, voters, you know, the award voters, they absolutely confuse the actor with the part

Speaker 2 very often.

Speaker 2 So, you know.

Speaker 2 Was Matthew McConaughey good in

Speaker 2 the Dallas Buyers club? Yeah, he was. He was amazing.
He was good. But I think it was

Speaker 2 a given that he was going to win because the character he played was someone who fought for AIDS against AIDS.

Speaker 2 But also, come on, the Oscars and all these award shows. I mean, I don't want to diss him because I want to get one.

Speaker 2 But at the same time, the movies that win are never the movies that are the cultural

Speaker 2 shifters and the cultural makers. They're not the best movies of the time, of the era.
They're like popular and well, they're they're not popular.

Speaker 2 No, the winners of the Oscars, come on. It's never the most

Speaker 2 cutting-edge movie.

Speaker 2 No, that's exactly what they're. What they're not are the popular movies.

Speaker 2 The ones that win are the ones that are saying to the audience, the movie used to say to the audience, this is Hollywood.

Speaker 2 Welcome to our show

Speaker 2 that showcases who we are and what we do. And we want to show you that we make the best movies.
Now what they're voting for is we want want to show you that we're the best people.

Speaker 2 So things like Nomad Land that you know no one went to see or wanted. No, nobody went to see that.
Nobody wanted to see nobody went to see a lot of these ones.

Speaker 2 But her previous movie was amazing, amazing.

Speaker 2 The writers, it was about, she started as a documentary about these Native American kids and she turned it into a movie about their own lives and scripted their own lives into it.

Speaker 2 And one of the kids got, they were Bronco writers. And one of the kids got stomped on his head.
It was wild, wild,

Speaker 2 There is such a divide between

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 ultra-woke stuff that wins the awards.

Speaker 2 There's no ultra-woke, bro. I'm ultra-woke.
They're not woke enough for me. I'm sorry.
They're not woke enough. Well, that's quite a statement, and we probably should not pursue that at all.

Speaker 2 America is a centrist country. We don't have a real left.
We have a real radical right, but we don't have a real radical left. We have center and then a little center left.

Speaker 2 Real radical left wants to destroy destroy government just like the right, wants to upend everything, wants to throw out the establishment. We don't have any of that.
Come on. What do we have?

Speaker 2 The left,

Speaker 2 the Democrats eat their own. And they don't listen to the progressives.
They never. They destroy them.

Speaker 2 I don't even, I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. I tell you.
Come on. Let's talk.
Let me ask you about your personal life.

Speaker 2 Like, when you're in a relationship, are you always having like political talks with your girl? Or I'm assuming it's a girl.

Speaker 2 I don't want to be, I don't want, I want to be woke enough to say I'm very, it could be anything and everything would be fine. And that's true.
Everything would be fine.

Speaker 2 But I know you're a straight man.

Speaker 2 But does it, do you, do you have to be with someone who agrees with you politically or could you be with someone and would you then always be arguing?

Speaker 2 My wife and I are always arguing. Oh, you're married now? I've been married.
I've been married almost tomorrow. Tomorrow is our anniversary.
How many years have you been married 25 years?

Speaker 2 You've been married 25 years? Yeah, yeah. I got bad information.
Yeah, no, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 I mean, we've had our ups and downs, and, you know, we got past it. And I think we're doing great right now.
We're doing amazing. So your marriage came along just with the century.
Yes, it was.

Speaker 2 25 years. 25 years.
Isn't that something? That's in Hollywood. That's like 100 years.
Oh, that's a lifetime achievement award.

Speaker 2 Where's that award? I want that one. Well, congratulations.

Speaker 2 And do you argue politics or do you argue? Yeah, we argue politics. We argue a lot.
She doesn't see things exactly as you do. No, she doesn't.
She sees things very differently than I do.

Speaker 2 And sometimes you're uncomfortable. I think you should be.
But if you like to fight, if you like to argue.

Speaker 2 I don't.

Speaker 2 I really don't. People think I do because I wind up doing it.
I mean, if you left New York and you don't like New York, it's because you don't like to argue. Because

Speaker 2 everybody loves to argue. All my friends argue with me 24-7.

Speaker 2 They do. Yeah, New Yorkers argue all the fucking time.
Even when they shouldn't be arguing, they're arguing. Yeah.
Well, that's one of the things I just did not like about the city.

Speaker 2 And John, I lived there twice. I lived there.
First of all, again, I grew up with New York TV, New York sports teams. My father worked there.
So yes, we were a satellite of New York, but come on,

Speaker 2 New Jersey. No, I know.
It's New York adjacent for real. I mean, it's,

Speaker 2 I mean, look, you're from Woodborough. Queens, Jackson.
I'm Bridging Tunnel. There are people who, yeah, who would say?

Speaker 2 And I too say New York Tunnel. My wife tells me that.
Yeah, she does. She says you're bridging tunnel.
You'll always be bridging tunnel. And Staten Island is off again.
It's not even New York.

Speaker 2 It does it really belong to New York. It's like they toted from off of North Carolina or something.
What is that? Staten Island. It doesn't even look like a city.
Except for Wu-Tang.

Speaker 2 That's the only great thing they've ever done.

Speaker 2 Of course. Well, it's the cradle of civilization, where the Wu-Tang clan emerged by the river.
God, I'm so thankful for that. It makes me almost want to believe and thank the Lord.

Speaker 2 So, civilization began by four rivers.

Speaker 2 Because you need to... Or Western civilization, European civilization.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Rivers transcend ethnicity, John. One of them was the Yangtze in China.
Yeah. Okay.
Again,

Speaker 2 this is before there was even politics. So there couldn't be any prejudice about where it started.
It was just about the river brings fertile soil. Let's live here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but there were a lot of places that that happened. Four.
Okay, go ahead. The Yangtze,

Speaker 2 the Tigris-Euphrates, and Mesopotamia. More, thank God, not white people.
Because what's worse than that? The Nile, more not white people. Great.
Right, it's amazing.

Speaker 2 And the

Speaker 2 Amazon. Oh, you got it.
You did get it. Damn, you're good.
Yeah. Are you a historian? Are you like a historian? Wait, no, I know I guess the Amazon because

Speaker 2 they had to migrate into South America. No, no, no, but no, no, but you're right.
No, no, but you're right because the Nile, the Yangtze, the Tigris, Euphrates, and

Speaker 2 it is the Amazon because, you know, they just did Laser LiDAR and they found all these incredible civilizations underneath the jungle forest and the Amazon. Oh, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 And chilies, avocado, tomatoes all come from the Amazon. So how did they get all the way to Mezzo? Chili's the restaurant? Say what? Chili's the restaurant? No, chilies, the the the all chilies come.

Speaker 2 latin food is the mother cuisine of all great modern cuisine the cradle of eating obviously

Speaker 2 yo hot food there would be no hot food if it wasn't for us no chilies chocolate there would be no chocolate there would be no vanilla that corn is created the industrial revolution that fed everything and potatoes to help europe grow during the industrial revolution without our potatoes our corn our chocolate our vanilla you got nothing my people the irish had a little something to do with potatoes i must say yeah you got it from us.

Speaker 2 Potatoes from South America. The Irish got potatoes from South America.
I don't think that's historically accurate. And it's good

Speaker 2 because that'll help. Want some? No, no, no.
Because I'd have to talk to you.

Speaker 2 I need to be sharp.

Speaker 2 No, you don't. I'm not.

Speaker 2 No, do you not smoke weed at all? No, I take edibles, like, to go to sleep and to travel and whatnot. And a cap and a stem now and then to feel happy.
Oh, it's mushrooms.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they've learned how to like micro-dose it well, haven't they? Really good. With chocolate as well.
And that's also a Latin thing. Cybos mushrooms or they're from Meso.
They're from Mesoamerica.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Why don't we make it easier?

Speaker 2 Name a thing the Latins haven't done. And that seems like a much shorter list.

Speaker 2 What about

Speaker 2 bronze statues of businessmen at bus stops? Is that from the because that seems like a very white?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Rodin is white.
Yeah, well, we'll give you Rodin.

Speaker 2 okay the the monster or the sculptor

Speaker 2 oh my god don't you love those monsters godzilla rodan mothra mothra

Speaker 2 yes

Speaker 2 was that giant butterfly yeah yeah all the gods creatures okay was rodan the turtle no i mean didn't you play um weren't you mutant

Speaker 2 no no i was i was in spawn uh the the black comic book but didn't you play some um

Speaker 2 were your luigi luigi supermari bro's video game first video game right wasn't very successful then but now it's become cult Mulan Rouge you're

Speaker 2 a great painter right

Speaker 2 incredible director I mean Baz Luhrmann one of the greats a world builder he creates worlds and Romeo and Juliet yes right Tybalt

Speaker 2 wait I remember all those because you made that comment once about like James Franco shouldn't be playing Castro yeah he shouldn't be and I was like but John you've played all these parts of people who weren't who aren't Colombian Colombian.

Speaker 2 How does it why does it work one way and not the other way? Because it hasn't worked in our favor in centuries.

Speaker 2 When the founding fathers of Hollywood came to Hollywood, it had just been Mexico sixty years prior.

Speaker 2 And they came into a predominantly Latino community that had been lynched, massacred, burned alive, shot, redlined, segregated, sterilized, Jim Crowed, and and they they came here and they didn't include the people into into any of their movies for centuries drink yeah please no no no I don't

Speaker 2 I'm sober

Speaker 2 you know

Speaker 2 it goes with the light conversation

Speaker 2 cocktail yeah yeah should we move to the veranda

Speaker 2 no I'm sure that and then there was brownface for like decades bro brown face I mean Chalk De Heston and Touch that was a while ago I mean since then we've had Raul Raul Julian and Andy Garcia.

Speaker 2 We're 20% of the population with less than 3% of the leads on film and television. We're 30%

Speaker 2 on the box office. And we're still like under, we're the most aggressively underrepresented ethnic group in America.
Well, okay. I'm sure there is work to do there.
And I'm. I need your help doing it.

Speaker 2 How could I help?

Speaker 2 What could I possibly do? I'm not going to have $50 million.

Speaker 2 I don't have $100. I don't have

Speaker 2 cash.

Speaker 2 And if I had it, I wouldn't spend it on that.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something. What would you spend your money on?

Speaker 2 You know, I'm a very simple dude.

Speaker 2 Oh, I can see by this huge property. Well, I do have some land.
That's nice.

Speaker 2 But I like land.

Speaker 2 I like land too. I like land is good.
Yeah, land is good. It's one reason I, again, would not want to live in New York.
I do not like living in a building.

Speaker 2 I like land is because I grew up in the suburbs. Yeah, yeah.
New Jersey is the suburbs. And I grew up with a lawn.

Speaker 2 You know, we were middle class we didn't have any special or spectacular and i still don't i have you know i'm a simple this house is not this house is not simple my my actual class my actual house is this is amazing my actual house two bedrooms is that a lot no it's not a lot it's not a lot and a one square footage

Speaker 2 i don't even know but it's not a lot it's got a kitchen it's got a you know a nice kitchen look it has and a kitchen with an island which when when i was a kid my kitchen was the size of this chair like an island it the kitchen was an island.

Speaker 2 Now everybody's got an island. Yeah, you can't.
Well, you got that space for an island. Yeah, but it's not like it's what kitchens became.
Houses got bigger.

Speaker 2 So I have a kitchen, I have a small dining room, a nice living room. That overcompensates.
A nice living room.

Speaker 2 And then upstairs, there's a family room, which I don't go in a lot because I don't got that. Family.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, my bedroom, a spare bedroom, a nice closet. I mean,

Speaker 2 I have a great office. It's built sort of for one, that house, but I don't need a lot.
I'm a simple guy. One house, one car, one plane.
That's oh, you don't have two homes.

Speaker 2 You don't have too much plane.

Speaker 2 It's just a simple jet.

Speaker 2 No helicopters. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 That stuff doesn't make me happy.

Speaker 2 It's just stuff that means stuff to me. You know, could they take my politically incorrect sign? They could have, but.
Oh, politically incorrect. I love it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were on it.
Yeah, I was. I love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, you know. Yeah, you were very influential.
I mean, your show was

Speaker 2 incredible. I mean, because nobody was talking like you back in the day when you came up with

Speaker 2 being really aggressive about thoughts and calling people on shit.

Speaker 2 Nobody was yet doing, gotcha. And I'm still doing it.
Yeah, you still are. Yeah.

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Speaker 2 No, I mean, I was funny reading the paper today, and there's Curtis Sleewa on the front page. Wow, crazy.
Right. Running for New York mayor.
Right.

Speaker 2 And it was, I just remember him on like like the first time. Subway.
The first season of Political Being Correct. Yeah.
Because we would have,

Speaker 2 we had like a budget of nothing. And so we would have local New York types on very well.
And he was interesting. Remember the angels.
Of course, they see him on the subway all the time. Right.

Speaker 2 With the red hat. Yeah, yeah.
You know, and he, I think his girl was with him, and she was kind of like a hot guardian angel.

Speaker 2 She was really fine. She was like some kind of Russian chick.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And now I see him, and, you know,

Speaker 2 we all look older. Although you look fantastic, you really don't look like you still look.
Brown don't break down. So, you know.
Another thing in the brown column. I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.

Speaker 2 Let me keep scoring it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 White people, bronze statues. White people have done some good things.
Bronze statues. Wait.
We were the first ones to combine avocado and toast.

Speaker 2 You're worried. The Winter Olympics.
Avocado toast is incredible. Winter Olympics.
That's amazing. That's us.
Skiing. Music and elevators.
Oh, God. I love elevator music.
Come on.

Speaker 2 It really relaxes me.

Speaker 2 White people have done a lot of things. I know, a lot of bad things.
But, you know, everybody in the world has done a lot of bad things. Oh, yeah, no doubt about it.
I mean,

Speaker 2 being horrible and racist and colonizers and all that shit, it is not the province of one race. No, no, of course not.
Of course not. I mean,

Speaker 2 my 15th, I go back 500 generations on both sides in America. 500? Yeah, on both sides.
How do you know that? Because I went on Finding Your Roots.

Speaker 2 But they don't go back back 500 yet. Yeah, you can't because...
No.

Speaker 2 They can't.

Speaker 2 They can because the Catholic Church kept crazy records. Not 500, John.
We got that one. No, I promise you.
They traced me back my 15th grandfather. That's not 500.
Human. 1,400s? Humans.

Speaker 2 What's the 1,400s? Well, think about it. How many generations in a century? 500 years ago, brother.
I know you're on a little bit of winter, but I'm going to help you with the map.

Speaker 2 No, you're the one who's going to be embarrassed.

Speaker 2 How many generations in a century?

Speaker 2 Well, it depends. If you say we're Latino, it might be 20 or 30.
In a century, you have children every

Speaker 2 years.

Speaker 2 Say 20 years.

Speaker 2 Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 So there's five generations in a century.

Speaker 2 So in 500 years,

Speaker 2 that's five generations. That's if everybody's having kids at 20.
Yeah, yeah. That's 25 generations.

Speaker 2 I'm the only person on the show that they could trace my lineage lineage 500 years on both sides in the Americas to conquistadors who were genocidal murderers.

Speaker 2 I'm sure you related to conquistadors, but they don't go back 500 years. Conquistadors.
1492. Conquistadors were like 500 years ago.
Again, that's 25 generations, not 500. That's 400 years.

Speaker 2 I didn't say 500 generations. I said 500 years.
You said generations.

Speaker 2 No, no, I said my 15th grandfather was uh ben al casar right-hand man to pizarro and he came to colombia he before he genocided a tons of ecuadoran women and children and then he came to colombia and and uh

Speaker 2 created four cities

Speaker 2 yeah i mean mexicans are a mix of the indigenous people and the spanish so you know when people are like oh yeah I mean, and the Spanish were as.

Speaker 2 You got to go on finding your roots. You're going to find find your roots.
I did.

Speaker 2 What did they find? Did you have roots?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 they knew basically what they were. My father, Ireland.
Yeah. My mother, that family originally was from Hungary,

Speaker 2 Hungarian Jewish on that side, although the Jewish kind of melted away as they came to America. I mean, that wasn't really...
put into me, but it's my heritage.

Speaker 2 And my father's side was pretty standard, like came right after the Civil War in this country, the potato famine in Ireland. Oh, sure.
You know, they traced it certainly back 1818.

Speaker 2 I remember that number sticks in my head when they had the name of

Speaker 2 great-great-great-great-grandmother or something like that, born in the church. You know, they go back to like the church.
Yeah, because the Catholic Church kept kept recording.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course, they kept the record.

Speaker 2 So they knew the people, absolutely, their full names who came here and then married, and O'Toole married Blissworne.

Speaker 2 And yeah, I mean, it was a very standard history. The Irish came to this country around that time, and they've also faced horrible pregnancy.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, they were Irish and actors need not apply or they're something shit like that. And you know every ethnic group that that comes here gets the shaft.
You're like at the bottom of the

Speaker 2 right, but we've been here. The first European language spoken in America was not English was Spanish.
We've been here since then. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 We

Speaker 2 Irish, because they're white people, can move up, but we haven't moved up. We've stayed in the the same place because this is the fourth mass deportation of Latinos since 1830.
We've been, we've been,

Speaker 2 after Mexico, after Mexico became America and they took the land and invaded and took from the Mississippi to the Pacific, they started lynching people, stealing their land, stealing their political wealth, and then they mass deported in the in the

Speaker 2 1930s with the Repatriation Act. Two million Latinos, most of them were American citizens.

Speaker 2 And what the president is doing, scaring the shit out of people who shouldn't have the shit scared out of them and should be able to stay here, is awful. And I told that to him to his face.
You did?

Speaker 2 Yes. That's amazing.
That takes a lot of courage. Yeah, well, we kind of famously

Speaker 2 had dinner a few weeks ago, months ago.

Speaker 2 You called him out. You called him out.
We had a, you know, don't make me go through this again, but, you know, it was a big controversy at the time. You must have.

Speaker 2 It was huge yeah no it was it was insane so like they were mad at me for going there the woke but like i kept saying well among other things one when i left the dinner and before i got there i never stopped tearing him a new asshole about the things i thought he deserved a new asshole torn about so you know and he took it he took it with but and what they got mad at me about was just explaining that in person he's a completely different guy oh totally different and that and that is not on me i'm just reporting yeah and yes you can have a conversation and and i did at one point say to him those exact words.

Speaker 2 I said, you're scaring people. Why do you want to scare your own citizens?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 in public, he would have exploded at that. Right, right.
And said, you're a terrible person.

Speaker 2 And in private, he talks to you like a human being and listens a lot better than a lot of other people who are in those kind of positions have. That's just the truth.

Speaker 2 I know they hate to hear it. And a lot of people are involved in it.
But it's the presentational, performative side of him that's so dangerous and heinous. So dangerous and so heinous.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, that side of him.

Speaker 2 Because I've met him, too, because we all met him in New York. He was always in the clubs.
Right. Sitting on some model or something, whatever.

Speaker 2 You know, sitting on some corner trying to hit on all the hotties. And what were you doing in the 90s? The same thing.

Speaker 2 I always had a date. I always came with a date.
I met him once at Moomba. Do you remember Moomba? Yes, of course.

Speaker 2 You do? I saw him at Moomba. Yeah, he was always at Moomba.
Okay, well, that's where I met him twice before he was president, once at the Playboy Mansion and once at Moomba. Yeah, Moomba was hot.

Speaker 2 That was where all the models were going. And I think he was once on Howard Stern and Sarin, my name came up, and

Speaker 2 Howard is always asking about girls, and I guess I was with someone, and he went, yeah, he was with someone, not bad.

Speaker 2 He got bad, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he got the nod of approval from Trump. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 I met him a time. I was giving an award at the Trump Tower before he was even a political person.

Speaker 2 And I was giving Baz Luhrmann an award. And he came up to me and he goes, Oh, you're so articulate.

Speaker 2 Because you know, white people always tell you that if you're

Speaker 2 a Latin person and you can speak, that you're so articulate, which I know is code for I Thought You're All Dumb. And

Speaker 2 but he was so meek. He was so, I was, I was astounded at how incredibly meek he is.
Like

Speaker 2 quiet. I wouldn't call it meek.
What I would call it is

Speaker 2 knowing how to make everybody.

Speaker 2 it's ironic because he's known as the greatest egomaniac and he is quite an egomaniac, but to make the person you're talking to feel like they're the ones who are important and you're interested in what they're saying, he's good at that.

Speaker 2 I remember that at the Playboy Mansion, and I saw it again at the White House. It's obsequious.
It's obsequious.

Speaker 2 He's not obsequious. He's just.
I mean, I'm telling you what I experienced. It seemed obsequious, even though he gave me

Speaker 2 the old,

Speaker 2 you're so articulate. Well, that's just obnoxious because it's a terrible thing.
But, you know, people say, is he a racist or not?

Speaker 2 He's an 80-year-old or soon to be a year away from an 80-year-old guy whose father was a virulent racist. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 He marched with the KKK. His father was arrested for...
His father was definitely a racist. And his grandfather was a pimp? Like of the times.
Like the people are a product of their times.

Speaker 2 He is a product of their times. But some of us overcome our times.
Yeah, exactly. That is absolutely true.

Speaker 2 He hasn't overcome that that is true and fair to say but he's not on the level of racism that'll no that stephen miller is no nobody's at the level of stephen miller's racism and who the who's the architect of all this mass deportation grew up here in santa monica with latinos and i guess they bullied him and he's got uh a chip on his shoulder over that but i mean part of this is a backlash to how badly biden handled the immigration situation.

Speaker 2 It can't just be like, come one, come all, which it was.

Speaker 2 There's plenty of room here, and we need room. Letit, there's plenty of room in America.
Come on, there's no lack of room in America. But it's never about room, it's about resources and about

Speaker 2 like having a countries have to have a border.

Speaker 2 It just can't be, I mean, they've done surveys and something like 200 million people around the world when asked, would you come to America? If you could, yes, I would. Why wouldn't they?

Speaker 2 Lots of countries, excuse me, are shitholes. And they would love to be here.
You can't just say that. I mean, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 The places aren't shitholes but well they are i mean that's why they want to keep it usually because of america what america has done especially in latin america is beat up every democracy that was burgeoning in latin america they destroyed it to keep their oil or their resources or bauxite or bananas like if you don't really have rights like as far as like um

Speaker 2 women's rights in most

Speaker 2 majority Muslim countries, women just don't have

Speaker 2 close to the rights we have here.

Speaker 2 If you can't dress the way you want, if you are in a country where there's just extreme poverty, which a lot of countries have, or if there's like the kind of corruption, and we have corruption here, of course, but on a level.

Speaker 2 Well, we have extra new corruption with the mean coin. But it is on a level in some countries that's way, way more.
Well, we're catching up. We're catching up.
We're catching up, but we still.

Speaker 2 But there's a reason why people want to come here because it's still better. But I got to tell you, I mean, if you live in a country where you can take a chicken on a bus, that was always my standard.

Speaker 2 Okay, I think I have the right to call that chicken on a bus. That's a shithole country.
And I see why you want to come here. It's not your fault you live in a shithole.

Speaker 2 It doesn't mean you're a shithole person. You have the misfortune of being born there.
And I get it why you would want to move here. Right.

Speaker 2 But the thing is that the immigrants that are coming here are building the country.

Speaker 2 They're the essential workers. They are.
They're the first responders. They're doing all your construction, painting, plumbing.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Raising all your food, cooking all your food, serving all your food. Kids, taking care of your kids.
Taking care of your kids. We do all the work that nobody wants to do and keeps the country going.

Speaker 2 I mean, immigrants are the life source of this country. Yes, they are, absolutely, because, again, we're both products of them.
Yes, yes, we are.

Speaker 2 What most Americans, I think, sensible middle-of-the-road people would say is, yes, of course, we are an immigrant welcoming country, but there has to be some order to it.

Speaker 2 It just can't be come one, come all.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 you know, I mean, there was like video people would see of people just the border guards just looking as people or just like giant trains of people.

Speaker 2 And, you know, that's why, and then where do they go? They went to cities on the borders who then were like, you know what? If you people in

Speaker 2 New York

Speaker 2 think that it's such a great idea to let anybody in, we're going to bust them to you. And then what did the people in New York say?

Speaker 2 I mean, even the governor governor of New York was like, we can't take all these people. Mayor Adams was like, and he's right.
It's like, you know, these people live here.

Speaker 2 And now this is their burden to this degree. But I mean, those

Speaker 2 are the same. Those cities on the border call the bluff of the sanctuary city.
It's very easy to sit there from far away and go, we're a sanctuary city. Okay, well, here's

Speaker 2 all the people sanctuary. And then they didn't like it.
Let's fix the immigration problem. That's the kind of hypocrisy.

Speaker 2 Let's fix the illegal immigration because it's a broken system. Right, right.
People who've been here for 30 years can't be naturalized, that's insane, who've been working here and giving their lives.

Speaker 2 And just fix the legal immigration. Stop creating these quotas and this blockage.

Speaker 2 He did finally have to go back on that and say, you know, the people who work

Speaker 2 because, like, who does he think cleans the rooms in his hotel? Right, exactly. Who do you think most of them are? With his lawn and all his

Speaker 2 golf club around your first wife's grave. Your golf ball is for you.
You know?

Speaker 2 So, you know, he has a way of like always going too far and just doing. And then tacoing.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Just tacoing. Tacoing.
Everything is Latin.

Speaker 2 Coming from taco. That's right.
Come on.

Speaker 2 Well, the Iranians found out it's not always tacoing. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 They found out it was not always tacoing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 See, it's kind of good to have that reputation of like, oh, he never follows through. Oh, really? Yeah.
You're like 30s out of nowhere. 30s out of touches.
He's a dollar bomb up your ass. So crazy.

Speaker 2 So, well.

Speaker 2 Well, here we are. So what's your, what are you doing out here? Are you hustling?

Speaker 2 Selling. What do you mean? I'm hawking wares.

Speaker 2 Like, for what?

Speaker 2 Smoke.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's your series? Yeah, yeah. Apple.
Apple, True Crime, Dennis Lahane, one of the great preeminent crafts. How's Apple to work with? Good? Yeah.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
I'm catching up to your team.

Speaker 2 I'm a humble man. You're a humble man.
With a humble. Hey, you know what? I was poor.
No, you've earned it. I'm not, I'm not saying I'm not people.

Speaker 2 When I lived in New York, I was like, it's funny.

Speaker 2 I know, I used to hear old comics talk about this and think they were so corny, but now I'm saying it, and it's true when they would say, you know, we were poor when we were young, but we didn't know we were poor.

Speaker 2 You didn't know. You never knew you were poor.

Speaker 2 I'm sure I knew. I was living on

Speaker 2 a shithole apartment above a bus stop on 8th Avenue and 55th Street. But you didn't know it was shitty.
You were kind of loving it. I dig it.
I did, but I was rubbing rubbing it. You're an artist.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I was living in New York for the first time.
The hottest women in the whole country. Yes.
None of them would talk to you, but they were the hottest.

Speaker 2 That's the thing about New York. Yeah, women do it.
That's one reason I didn't like New York. I did not get along with the women.
You know, you vibe with certain cities. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I came out here, I found paradise. Oh, my God.
In New York, just the difference. But you also came here when you had mad success.
Girl, no, I, well, more success.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I did not come here when I had mad. I I came here in 1983 when I had done three tonight shows.
I didn't have a God. That's success.

Speaker 2 I had a little apartment and a Toyota, and my sound system was

Speaker 2 not successful in the car was a boom box in the car. But did you have a Toyota Corolla? Is that what you had? That plugged into the cigarette lighter.

Speaker 2 Those are some sad times. That was my sound system.
Yeah, yeah. Where I put a tape into a boom box

Speaker 2 in the back seat of the boom. But didn't you think you were cool? Come on.
You thought you were so dope. No one could think they were cool with a boom box in the back seat.

Speaker 2 But you started, but then you started, you know.

Speaker 2 I remember I was going out with a girl in 1985 who was like so out of my league. And she would just unmercifully make fun of me about it.
That's incredible. You got to love that.
You got to love that.

Speaker 2 I do.

Speaker 2 You know, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 work to have things if you can't look back and know what you didn't have because it just doesn't it i i was uh somebody was mentioning sometime recently that oh nice bathtub i said you know i never had a bathtub that i wanted to get into until i was 45 when i moved here wow i i never took a bath i mean i hadn't that like

Speaker 2 you took like a sink shower shower because like the idea of sitting in this little narrow show

Speaker 2 like fake horse baths you know like

Speaker 2 out of sink they used to call it they had an ethnic name for that but i wouldn't say it no i know i know they because it would make you so mad i'm just saying i've heard it i know

Speaker 2 but that's good restraint i appreciate that but it was a blankety blank shower yeah yeah i know i know i know and i've taken many of them yeah yeah we all have i still do it sometimes yo i found out that i when i realized that i i was really poor was when i went to the fresh air fund you remember the fresh air fund they used to take latin black kids that were poor and they would send this to a rich white family in the country for two weeks and then i realized oh my god they have tv dinners they have tvs two tvs they have all this space they have a yard it was incredible then i realized i was fucking poor yeah yeah i was super poor i mean that apartment was horrible it was a you know what they call a studio which meant one room i often woke up with roaches around me oh yeah that was the sometimes crawling on me oh yeah no i've had that i mean that's i've had one if you don't crawl on my list.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if you don't know you're poor then, and when you wake up with a roach in your mouth, that is the most disgusting. Not this kind of roach.
No, no, that kind of roach. You wake up with that one.

Speaker 2 That's okay.

Speaker 2 That means you had a great night.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I got talent because that's the only way you can get girls if you're broke. Is if you have talent and it's like a magnet and girls come to you.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, without cash, yeah, you're not going to get girls. Not in New York City.

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Speaker 2 Take me through that. How did the talent because I don't remember this happening to me.
I don't remember being a starting out young comedian and, oh, I've got talent, and the girls were there.

Speaker 2 They were not. Oh, my God.
They were all over there. I was at First Amendment Improv.
I don't know if you remember that. It was on Bond Street.
What was your first thing? You were in an improv troop?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was in an improv troop in New York. Yeah, and there were all these.
Where were they headquartered? Bond Street, Bond Street.

Speaker 2 Downtown. Downtown.
And Robin Williams would come in. Bruce Willis would come in.
Yeah. I was in the C Company.
I wasn't part of the A Company. I never got to the A Company.
Well, they're lost, huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they look silly. So they look sick.
They had like leagues like that? Yeah, yeah. So there was like varsity and junior version.
Yeah. Wow.
C was the worst.

Speaker 2 But they kept promising. So you had to like clean their bathrooms, do the bars, sweep, and clean up the whole place.
Who from the A group would we know today that went on to good things? Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Maybe nobody. Michael.
Oh, my God. What is his name? Michael?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 he can't be that guy. No, no, he was in Talk Radio

Speaker 2 on Off-Broadway with Eric Vogozian. And Nancy lombardo coached uh josh from drake and josh

Speaker 2 when i comedy okay it's not really huge success but it's when i i'm not a culture vulture john but i do occasionally go to the theater and

Speaker 2 enjoy it when i do and i went to see a play by john by eric bogosian when i lived in new york in the 90s park radio No, I don't think it was drugs and rock and roll. Maybe it was that.

Speaker 2 It was down, it was on, it's in the village, and it's this little it's the theater is the name of the street like the marriage barrel street theater barrow street theater or

Speaker 2 manel that that's it yeah yeah okay okay that's it yeah it's great theater yeah okay i saw that there oh i think that was sex drugs in rock and roll that was a big one yeah right

Speaker 2 and uh yeah i was i was drinking in america or yeah but one of those they were great i mean oh you didn't like it no i did oh yeah i did i thought it was kind of revolutionary yes he had a he had quite a moment there yeah yeah because he brought rage he he he brought anger to it he brought yeah he brought a lot of great stuff to one man shows and to comedy right I mean I would say you know

Speaker 2 in many ways what you did on you know brought similar stuff like one man like I'm just gonna bring it as me yeah you know he he was one of my uh yeah one of the people who inspired me Lily Tomlin with Goldberg yeah and of course the great Spaulding Gray, who was, I think, the forefather to all of us.

Speaker 2 He gave me my first OB for Mambo Mouth. Spaulding Gray gave it to me.
What was the name of the big show he did? I remember he remembered.

Speaker 2 And we're talking about a waspy white guy. Oh, he's the waspiest.

Speaker 2 Waspiest dude you ever met in your entire life. But you're still okay.
Swimming to Cambodia was a big name. That was it.
Yeah. Swimming to Cambodia.
What a name for a,

Speaker 2 wow. I don't.
Yeah, you would think that would be a hit, but it was. I think they ran it on PBS, and I saw it there.
Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen. I read all his plays.

Speaker 2 I read everything. And his new documentary is incredible where, you know, he talks about.

Speaker 2 So girls would come to your... No, no, they would be part of the troupe and would be hanging in that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And they were all super fine.
Really? And the headliners. In comedy? Dude, they were so fine.
Wow. Jane Bruckner was one of the hottest women I ever saw.

Speaker 2 Pat, I can't remember her last name. Pat was a waspy chick.
She was fine too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Emmy Gay, she was, yeah, yeah, there was some Tamara. Yeah, there was, there was a lot of like great.
You're sure they were fine or maybe they were just making you laugh so you liked them more?

Speaker 2 I like that too. I obviously

Speaker 2 too, but I've never, I've never

Speaker 2 fine. They were fine.
Really? Yeah, because you're right. There weren't a lot of hot chicks in the standups.

Speaker 2 But improv. No, there have been very attractive.
I mean, Sarah Silverman is a woman. Oh, yeah, she's fine.
She's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know.

Speaker 2 And lots of the ones that had a reputation because in the old days, they had to sort of like play that up to get over on the audience. Lucille Ball.
Oh, yeah, she's a beauty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she started out as an ingenue, not as a. As a model.
She was a model. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, she married that Latin guy.

Speaker 2 Yes. And back to Latinness again.

Speaker 2 And he was a success in the 50s. So, I mean, is America really that terrible? Oh, dude, the one guy, one guy

Speaker 2 with a whole population around you, and there's one guy who's making it, who they couldn't even get the show on the air.

Speaker 2 She had to fight and say, I'm not going to do your show, your radio show, unless my husband's in it.

Speaker 2 America's not going to believe you're married to a Latin guy. She goes, but I am.
It's so hard to imagine that show without him.

Speaker 2 Lucy, you got a lot of explaining to do. Yes.

Speaker 2 Because, and, you know, times were so different. There was an episode episode where she purposely gets a sunburn

Speaker 2 so that Ricky won't hit her.

Speaker 2 Because she bought a dress that she shouldn't have. And just the idea that America was super cool with this complete notion of, oh, sure, you know, your husband's going to beat me.

Speaker 2 Hudson's going to beat you. Spousal abuse, you know, it's part of the marriage.
Ralph Crane. Oh, yeah.
To the moon, Alex. I mean,

Speaker 2 it's hard to imagine, I don't know, Ray Romano threatening his wife with a closed fist every week at the end of

Speaker 2 modern family.

Speaker 2 O'Neill's going to go, yeah, come over here, Sophia Vergara. I'm going to knock you.
I'm the gay guy. He's going to hit the other gay guy.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We've got to do it right.

Speaker 2 It's just, I'm just saying. It's a different time.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying,

Speaker 2 the amount that this country has changed, as much as we have problems, is just astounding.

Speaker 2 And I just don't think that's something that they want to acknowledge enough on the left because they always want to feel like I'm the better person because I say things are worse than you are saying.

Speaker 2 And that doesn't make you better just because you're glummer.

Speaker 2 And what glomming, that's a very New York word. Did you say glomming? No,

Speaker 2 I do say that word all the time. My mother used to say it.
I said glommer, but glomming. Yes, my mother would always say

Speaker 2 glomming on. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And the garniffs, those garnifs coming over. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Emmis, you know that one? No, I don't know what what Emmis is.
That means like the real truth. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Nobody ever gave me the Emmis.

Speaker 2 That's exactly how you say it.

Speaker 2 Give me the Emmis on whether that. Oh, that's so dope.
I never heard that. Whether that bomb wiped out the Iranian nuclear stit or not.

Speaker 2 Give me the Emmis. Give me the Emmis.
But, you know.

Speaker 2 And I only know some of these from TV, like Spilkis. Spilkis.
And what's the other one?

Speaker 2 I'm caveling over there. Belling Verklem.
Look at that Punem. What a lovely name.

Speaker 2 Punem, yes. Right.
Punham. I said Punim.
Yeah, Punham. But we have a lot of Latino phrases in the language.
Oh, yeah, tons. Tons.

Speaker 2 Okay, so. Yeah, go ahead.
Like homie.

Speaker 2 Homie? Yeah, you're my homie. What's up, homie? That comes from California.
That was black. No, no, black.
It was black adopted, but it was Latinos here who were in jail. And you're a homie.

Speaker 2 You're from my hometown. You're my homeboy.
You know the movie, I'm sure you do,

Speaker 2 what is the name of it? It's

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 fighting queen, no. Which one? Which one?

Speaker 2 It was a

Speaker 2 three years ago. I think

Speaker 2 it was about the African kingdom of Dahomey and the warrior queen. Oh, yes, yes, with Viola Davis.
Correct, correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And they gloss over the little fact in the movie to a degree, not completely,

Speaker 2 but they play it down, that it was a kingdom based on slavery. Wow.
Blacks taking other blacks as slave, which happened all the time. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And the name of that kingdom was Dahomey. Dahomey.
D-H-H-A-N-D.

Speaker 2 Well, I could think of it. The homies aren't my homie.

Speaker 2 These slaves were captured. They ain't my homie.

Speaker 2 And there was

Speaker 2 the country used to be called Dahomey.

Speaker 2 for years. I remember seeing it on the map.
And now I think it is Benin.

Speaker 2 benin i mean everybody changed names they do change names from colonial names i mean beijing when i was a kid was peking remember peking yes yes king duck king duck that's where it came from yeah yeah wow things have changed sri lanka was ceylon

Speaker 2 uh mumba was bombay right right right you know i mean it's incredible yeah how do you keep up with all this you have to read a lot it's my job it's your job it's always been my job it was always my passion because again my father was a news man oh so yeah news was a big big deal in your house.

Speaker 2 It was, you know. I mean, they didn't force it on anybody, but, you know, kids, they just absorb the biosmosis.
Yeah, yeah, you.

Speaker 2 So, you know, and I could also, we could hear my father on the radio. My father was a radio news guy.
Would I have heard of him?

Speaker 2 You may have. If you listened to Mutual Broadcasting or WOR.
W-O-R. I listened to W-O-R.
You probably heard Bill. What in the 70s?

Speaker 2 Into the 70s, yes. By then, he was more transitioned to editor, but 50s and 60s mostly, but maybe early, yes, early 70s.
And this is the days when every radio station had

Speaker 2 news at the top of the hour. Yeah, yeah.
Just five minutes of news, you know.

Speaker 2 Like Winswind's News. You had the whole world in the news.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, top of the hour.
Top of the hour. Winswind's news.
The whole world in the world. Yes.

Speaker 2 Secretary of State Kennedy Howell has met

Speaker 2 with President Khrushchev's premier

Speaker 2 in Vienna. The radio.
The talks were described as productive but frank. In other news, the hula hoop is.
Yeah, yeah, the hula hoop is all the rage in America. And that was just how it was, you know.

Speaker 2 So it was always what I was interested in.

Speaker 2 History, history, and news. History and news.
The New York Times is always. What college did you go to? Cornell.
Oh, that's a good college.

Speaker 2 What'd you major in?

Speaker 2 English, history. English lit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I think I started in the middle of the day. Did let you major in English English lit? He was okay with that?

Speaker 2 Well, I mean...

Speaker 2 If he's paying for it, doesn't he want you to be in a career that's going to bring you a... He wasn't paying for a lot of it.
He was out of work at that time.

Speaker 2 Look, I was a drug dealer in college. I mean, a pot dealer.

Speaker 2 That's how you paid for your credits? At a certain point, yeah. I mean, look, I say pot dealer.

Speaker 2 because primarily a pot dealer. But if our dealer got something else, we would sell that too.
Oh, damn. Yeah.
So, you know, this is the 70s. Yeah, it's a different time.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I'm lucky.

Speaker 2 How are you going to pay for college? You wanted education, which is a great thing. And the only way for you to get it was dealing.
I mean, it was. I'm not hating on you.
I'm not hating on you.

Speaker 2 It was a victimless crime. Yeah.
You know, college kids. For a little pleasure.
I mean, it is now legal everywhere. What the fuck? The college kids are going to get high.

Speaker 2 If not,

Speaker 2 I tutored the

Speaker 2 disadvantaged. I tutored handicapped kids.

Speaker 2 And I read for the blind. That's how I paid for my college.
Yeah. And took crazy loans that ruined my credit for 20 years.
I read to blind children every Tuesday night.

Speaker 2 Children.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's how I paid for it. I didn't drug deal because, yeah, that wasn't my thing.
But in New York, you never got... like sucked into a drug lifestyle no no no no no

Speaker 2 i grew up in that neighborhood. Everybody was like, there was so many addicts and I was like, I'm never going to be like that as long as I live.
Well, you don't have an addictive personality.

Speaker 2 No, I have an addictive personality, but...

Speaker 2 You do? To what? To caffeine and

Speaker 2 reading, success.

Speaker 2 Everything you like is not an addiction. And some addictions are good.
I never understood the term sex addiction, they would say. People, he's got a sex addiction.
Like, and what is it?

Speaker 2 Is that a bad thing?

Speaker 2 How is that a bad thing? What's the problem?

Speaker 2 What do you get? Wrinkles from smiling too much? I mean,

Speaker 2 yeah. I mean, but people have gone to, I mean, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas.

Speaker 2 Well, it did a performative sort of act of contrition. Exactly.
We know what that is. Well said.
A performative act of contrition. They went away to say.

Speaker 2 They call him Catholic because I'm talking about contrition and

Speaker 2 penance. I was raised the same way, Catholic.
I'm a recovering Catholic. That's the

Speaker 2 thing my father thankfully pulled out.

Speaker 2 And Catholics, that's their method of birth control. It is, it is.
That was my method for years. Pulled out of the church when I was 13, right before.
That's what I meant, out of the church.

Speaker 2 I pulled out of the church. So you're not Catholic anymore? No, no, not at all.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah, yeah. No religion? No, my wife's Jewish, but she's not practicing.
And

Speaker 2 my kids, yeah, they went to a crazy St. Anne's and Grace Church, but they're not practicing either.
Do they ask you about spiritual matters sometimes or say, you know, daddy, what do we believe in?

Speaker 2 No, they never asked that. That's interesting.

Speaker 2 We never really talked about,

Speaker 2 I mean, I talked to them about spirituality. I did talk to them about that and meditation and

Speaker 2 finding your inner voice and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 I think it's, as far as children go, I think that kind of stuff is something you'd have to tell the kids to begin with because it's just not something that would cross their minds anyway.

Speaker 2 You know, if you're eight years old, you're not like worrying about the.

Speaker 2 What do do you believe in what is your do you believe in god or do you believe in a higher power yeah yeah they're not gonna ask that i believe in another toy

Speaker 2 i believe in chocolate i believe in baseball yeah you know i believe in not getting beat up

Speaker 2 but i talk i mean i obviously you know you want to have great philosophical conversations with them when you when you can but i always talk to them about spirituality and

Speaker 2 and uh meditation and all those things that matter to me then are they grown up now yeah my kids are 24 and 25. Yeah.
So, what's that like?

Speaker 2 I mean, can you talk to them exactly like a friend, and should you?

Speaker 2 I think at this age, if you want to have a great relationship, you got to stop being a parent at some point. Otherwise, you just scare them away.
You're right.

Speaker 2 Because you're being judgmental, basically, because they're not doing it the way you want it to be done. So, you have to shut up a lot.

Speaker 2 And also, they're grown up. Yeah, they're grown up.
They got to, you know, at some point, they got to let the bird fly. But I'm a Latin dad.
I want them to to be around me 24-7.

Speaker 2 I want them to live near me.

Speaker 2 I want to have, you know, their spouses come and stay with us. I want all of that.
I do. So you have to be.
No, they're not married.

Speaker 2 My son's been with the same girl for about two and a half years. So, you know, they're living together.
But you could be a grandfather at some point.

Speaker 2 I would love that, man. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm with. I'm 64.

Speaker 2 I long for that. Wow.
We're closer in age than I thought. How old old are you? 69.
Get out of here. You're not 69.
Yeah, 69. You're just trying to impress me.
No.

Speaker 2 Show me your birth certificate. I am really...

Speaker 2 I don't believe you. What are you, Trump? What am I ICE agents? What am I, Obama?

Speaker 2 But, wow, I'm really falling behind in this race to get to grandchildren because, you know. Dude, if you don't have kids yet, that's before marriage.

Speaker 2 I think you're going to be grandfather and father at the same time.

Speaker 2 Are you planning to have kids?

Speaker 2 Are you kidding? Well, that's a good decision. Of course, it was a great decision.
For me, I mean, it probably is.

Speaker 2 I don't think everybody has to have kids. We certainly don't.
The place is overpopulated anyway. I think so.
You got to do it if that's what you think your mission is. There's a very big movement.

Speaker 2 I mean, Elon Musk is one of these guys. Oh, my God.
Like, repopulated with all of his sperm. I mean, if you're a billionaire, I guess

Speaker 2 there's a lot of these.

Speaker 2 But he's not the only one. A lot of people are on this tip that

Speaker 2 we need to have more babies. The Trump industry.
But what kind of babies, though? White babies?

Speaker 2 That's part of it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about the real

Speaker 2 mission. I think that is definitely part of it, is that they see themselves getting outbreeded.

Speaker 2 And it's true, you know.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 this country was

Speaker 2 a Native American country. That was the big population here.
We were all Native American. And then until the Great Extermination, 95% of us disappeared off the Americas, out of the Americas.

Speaker 2 When you say us, you're talking about indigenous people. I mean, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm indigenous, so yeah. But you're, I mean, Colombian, and come on, this Spanish

Speaker 2 Spanish blood in you, too. You're not, oh, yeah, no, no, I'm not fully,

Speaker 2 you know, with the bowler hat.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, the Peruvians. I love that.
The women adopted that hat. That is the dopest.

Speaker 2 What is that all about, that black?

Speaker 2 I think it was a bad shipment of bowler hats that got sent to Bolivia and the women loved them and they get a whole shipment of it and they became part of the culture. But it was a British bowler hat.

Speaker 2 I wonder if you looked up on Pornhub, you could get one where the girl was wearing that while she's blowing a guy. I bet you I bet you can find anything.
That's what I'm saying. You can request that.

Speaker 2 You gotta go.

Speaker 2 I'm just curious.

Speaker 2 Go on the app Field. F-E-E-L.
No, I don't want to do it. I don't want to see it.
I'm just trying to help you.

Speaker 2 I don't use Field. Don't, don't.
But if you want to ask for like bondage or I don't. I don't ask for it.
If you want to ask for spanking or pinky up the ass, go on Field. I don't have any stake in it.

Speaker 2 I'm looking for Bolivian blowjob. And I'm not.
I'm just curious about things.

Speaker 2 You're a curious man. I'm very curious.
And that's what keeps you young. I think so.
Absolutely. Well, I think a few things keep you young.
What else? What else keeps you young? The pot.

Speaker 2 um I for me works for me you know what else it's it's an energy drug for me you know I'm

Speaker 2 energy yeah more energetic I would I would never do it before I slept that would be the opposite of wow that's crazy I take them to go to sleep together

Speaker 2 many people do yeah we all have different body yeah yeah we do absolutely you know that's why we all like cap and stems

Speaker 2 make me feel the most content I've ever felt in my life but then some of my other friends get serotonin depletion and I get so mad depressed the following day.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 you are definitely getting serotonin depletion from mushrooms. That's a fact.

Speaker 2 How much it affects you like the next day? Not barely. That's good because it's a micro-dose.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I remember doing mushrooms the first or second time I did it, and it was at that point. I just left college.
I was just, I was living in New York in a work in an apartment in Spanish Harlem.

Speaker 2 Oh, look at you. It's Spanish again.

Speaker 2 Go to your 99th Street. 99th 99th Street, definitely.
Spanish Harlem. I remember I had one of my first jokes was like, I live in such a cultured neighborhood.

Speaker 2 Everyone is practicing their Spanish all the time.

Speaker 2 Did you pick up any good words? Co on your pueporta. Por favor.
I learned. Porvor is good.
That's good. Please.
He always pleases. That's about it.

Speaker 2 I'm not a cunning linguist.

Speaker 2 But a lingual cunning linguist. I was living on 99th Street.

Speaker 2 Spanish Harlem. Spanish Harlem.

Speaker 2 On the east side. What was I telling you? Yeah, it was a five-floor walkup.

Speaker 2 Five floors. It kept you in shape.
Oh, really did.

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 2 you know, it was between third and lex. Oh, yeah.
Deep in it. Deep in it.
And, you know, it wasn't in the triple digits, 99th. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So, you know.

Speaker 2 You're not, you're not in. Yeah, yeah.
But it was right there at the border. I think the border was, what, 96th Street or something like that?

Speaker 2 Of Spanish Harlem? Yes. absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, because my cousin lived on 98th and 5th Avenue in Spanish Harlem.

Speaker 2 What were the addresses you remember in Manhattan? Well, I lived in Queens, so all your life? Yeah. Corona.

Speaker 2 You never lived in college. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 When I went to college, I went to NYU, so I was in Manhattan, yeah. And then I lived all over the place.
I lived at the Whitby. You must be ecstatic about the new mayor.

Speaker 2 We don't have a new mayor yet. You know, well, I mean, you must be ecstatic that the Democratic candidate is

Speaker 2 Bandami. Bandani.
This is Emboli. Zorhan Mandani.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
I'm still learning the name. No disrespect.
No, no, no. I don't feel disrespectful.
You must be thrilled about that.

Speaker 2 I like him, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm a Democratic socialist, so yeah. Right.
I mean,

Speaker 2 one of yours is getting in. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 wow, we'll see how that goes. We'll see how that goes.
I mean, we still have a long way to go.

Speaker 2 Everybody's now backing Eric Adams. Well,

Speaker 2 not everybody that I'm friends with, but I know a lot of New York

Speaker 2 movers and shakers are backing Eric Adams now.

Speaker 2 I heard today that the people Cuomo did the best with were the people that

Speaker 2 Mamdani was targeting the most, the working class black and Latino. No, no, Mandami did well with Latinos.
He didn't do well with blacks. Okay, there you go.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 I think because they've seen this movie before about being somebody who has promising stuff that cannot possibly be delivered. No, he might be able to deliver.

Speaker 2 I mean, do you feel like Eric Adams delivered? Please. No, no, but

Speaker 2 tough on crime? Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 He wasn't. I like it.
He wasn't tough enough, man.

Speaker 2 I mean, New York is doing fine. I think it's doing okay.
We just have to deal with the, like you guys got to deal with the homeless situation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you know, Reagan in the 1980s, before 1980, you were able to institutionalize people.

Speaker 2 The thing they got Eric for was the connection with Turkey, the bribes.

Speaker 2 Remember that? Yeah, yeah. Like the country of Turkey.
And it was like, okay, it wasn't what he should have been doing exactly, excepting, you know, hotel rooms or whatever.

Speaker 2 We should be accepting anything. I know, but it was like of all the things people do in this world.
I mean, the meme coin, Trump's meme coin. Like, come on.
That's real. That's a real Trumanzi school.

Speaker 2 Right. Or the dude in New Jersey, Menendez.
Oh, Menendez.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. And the Egyptian guy.
He took how much money they were.

Speaker 2 Gold bricks. He took how much.

Speaker 2 We're going to put one for the white.

Speaker 2 Well, the whites get one there when Menendez putting gold bricks. I'll give you that one.
I'll give you that one. Menendez putting gold bricks.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And his wife, too, when she was taking the other gold bricks. Of all the corrupt things that people do, to like be like that apoplectic about his.
I know, but I'm looking

Speaker 2 at a hotel room from Turkey, like Turkey

Speaker 2 What you know, okay, so he did some favors for Turkey. It just it reminded me of when they threw

Speaker 2 Winona Ryder out of show business for like 12 years because she shoplifted. I'm like

Speaker 2 of all the crazy things that people do and the and the sins and the crimes and the shitty stats insane and I mean that's canceling

Speaker 2 the deal breaker for you is that you no no that wasn't my deal breaker for him for you but I'm just saying like like it just like the there was just no rhyme his mismanagement is what bugs me no rhyme or reason to like the the the punishment level for the crime that goes on in show business people do the worst sort of things and the punishment is fairly benign and then they do nothing like shoplift i mean so she had a bad day i i and just wanted to lift i don't know she wanted some stuff that she liked and she didn't want to pay for it or she just was having a moment and said, Opi nail polish, I'm going to just fucking take it.

Speaker 2 I can't take it.

Speaker 2 It's like, and you can't.

Speaker 2 Who hasn't shoplifted in their life? Come on. I shoplifted a ton when I was a kid.
Baseball cards. Baseball cards, toys.
All I cared about was

Speaker 2 did you play baseball growing up? Yes. What position?

Speaker 2 Well, I was a second baseman. Oh, you got to have a good arm.

Speaker 2 Also, a pitcher. I remember one of my wonderfulest moments was I was brought in as a relief pitcher

Speaker 2 and like won the big game.

Speaker 2 I did, woo.

Speaker 2 I remember leaving Hoffman Field. That's the best feeling, man.
And like people, it was like my first time. You felt like a star.
First time I ever felt like a star. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 People were like, patting me on the back. And

Speaker 2 I was like, yeah. And I must have been all of eight years old or something.
Oh, out of eight. Well, it was, it was literally Pee Wee League.
Wow.

Speaker 2 And my father was the coach of the team because he worked nights radio. So he did like, we could practice on a Wednesday afternoon or something.
And,

Speaker 2 you know, he kind of was like more hard on me because he wanted to like overcompensate for being dad the coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like, I should have been the starting pitcher.

Speaker 2 I had a very strong arm. And he put this other guy who just grooved it.
And they started to like light him up. And they brought me in and I.

Speaker 2 Close. You're a closer, man.

Speaker 2 clutch you're a clutch

Speaker 2 that's the most fun man and I was a little wild but scared the kids it probably you know I was a little Don Drysdale like fuck you get off that little gin music maybe yeah come on get out of here maybe you'll be crowding the plate but are you a big Mets fan yeah I'm a big smetch coming from Caroline you know I was a minority owner for 10 years no absolutely with with with the Willpons the Willpons from 2011 Steve Cohen is now the owner he's a great one who bought it his wife's Puerto Rican yeah

Speaker 2 whatever money I do have

Speaker 2 is partly because of Steve Cohen. Really? I'm just comfortable.
Oh, good, good.

Speaker 2 You deserve to be comfortable. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 I'm not begrudging you anymore.

Speaker 2 All the years that I did stand-up, I just stopped doing it six months ago. All those years, I always took a private plane.
That was my... That was your thing.
That was your guilty pleasure.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. I wanted.
Why not? Exactly. How much was it? I mean, it's not that much.
Well, I mean, plainly, I don't know. You didn't own the plane.

Speaker 2 You just rented it for every time because I didn't want to own it. Was it 50K? Didn't want to own one.
Depends on where you went. Right.
I mean, you could go to Vegas or San Francisco for $15.

Speaker 2 From here. From here.
Oh, yeah, yeah. So close by.
But New York? No. I mean, it was.
New York would be like a 60, 70? Yeah. Yeah, maybe

Speaker 2 if you want to get home. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 if you don't want to drop in the middle.

Speaker 2 On the way back, you were fighting the wind, so you'd refuel and west in Kansas.

Speaker 2 I'd take it a few private

Speaker 2 days in my life. But that ate up a lot of the profit from

Speaker 2 stand-up.

Speaker 2 But I wouldn't have done the gigs if I couldn't have done it that way.

Speaker 2 I mean, to drive, I mean, you're not going to drive there. No, I mean, I tape real time on Friday.
You're not going to bus it. Have you done the tour buses? I literally couldn't have

Speaker 2 been there. Oh, I did once, yes, when I was young.
It's exhausting. I couldn't sleep, and then I had to do a show, and then another show.
The bed was a hammock.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this was the Frankie Valley tour I was opening for him in 1982, 20th anniversary of Cherry.

Speaker 2 Sherry.

Speaker 2 So singing's not your thing. Not my thing at all.

Speaker 2 You were opening for him, but not singing. You were opening to a comedy.
Thank God.

Speaker 2 I was the chimp up there while they were getting their seats.

Speaker 2 And I was on the tour bus.

Speaker 2 And man, yes, it was a hammock. That's what you slept in.
While a hammock on a bus. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Bouncing the whole entire time i i was nauseous i didn't sleep a wink no i couldn't and then i had to do a show and a two-hour show by myself and one man show was no i got to the next gig and of course it was blinding light

Speaker 2 it was nine in the morning or whatever we drove all night i went to the hotel and went to sleep the crew had to like go to work oh yeah they didn't sleep on the bus they just didn't sleep they went right from the bus to building the stage that is a that's a rugged life that's tough you know it's a touring is not.

Speaker 2 I mean, touring can be inspiring and amazing, but it can also be freaking exhausting. You know what's exhausting? Acting.
Acting? I just did, you know, what did you do?

Speaker 2 In the 80s, I did a lot of acting. Did sitcoms and silly comments.
I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.
What shows? What shows?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 my debut was as a guest star on Alice. Alice.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love that show. I did,

Speaker 2 I played a cop who arrested Flo or one of the ding bats.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 I did two episodes of Murder She Wrote as a guest star. Oh, Angela Lansberg.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 That was 90s? That was 90s. DC Cab.
DC Cabb. Winner of 11 Academy Awards.

Speaker 2 Pizzaman, of course, which everyone remembers. I mean, yeah.
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. I mean, I did a lot of

Speaker 2 B movies. series.

Speaker 2 Well, B to you.

Speaker 2 I did

Speaker 2 Sarah with Gina Davis in 1985. Gina Davis.
How tall is she, huh? She was tall. Tall drink of water.
Yes. Did you hit on her? No.

Speaker 2 It was great. I mean, every guy I knew was like, oh my God, you're working with Gina Davis.

Speaker 2 She's a beautiful woman, not my type. Not your type.
And it just did. So there was no sexuality.
So you had a great time. Right.

Speaker 2 Then I did

Speaker 2 a Showtime when Showtime was a network starting out called Hard Knocks. I was,

Speaker 2 if you can believe it, John, two mismatched detectives. And who was the other detective? Tommy Hinkley.
He was a redneck, and I was a hippie.

Speaker 2 We were mismatched. Oh, yeah, odd couple.
The odd couple. It was the odd couple as detective.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Two strange guys together. And see what

Speaker 2 hilarity ensues. Hilarity.
Mayhil. Then I did a series with Sam Kinnison.
Oh, the late, great Sam. Oh, I love that guy.

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, oh, that yelling. That's not how I felt about him after we worked together.
Oh, he was an ass?

Speaker 2 Well, he was on heroin, so he would always

Speaker 2 keep everybody waiting for like eight hours while he was like this in the makeup chair. Damn.
So, you know.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 that was called Charlie Hoover. And he played a little miniaturized devil on the main character's shoulder they mini okay and i was of course the office creep

Speaker 2 of course of course typecast uh i did the movie house 2 the sequel to house remember house no which uh what was house house is that a horror movie it was a horrible movie

Speaker 2 horror horrible what's the difference it was uh no it was the first one was such a hit they made a sequel it was like a comedy about a haunted house Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I know what you're talking about. And I almost

Speaker 2 play in that.

Speaker 2 Not the part I wanted.

Speaker 2 They were looking at me really hard for this, I guess, like the lead, and I think Michael McKean got it. Oh, Michael McKean, yeah.
Yeah, so I'm still bitter about great actor.

Speaker 2 So, yes, I had quite the career.

Speaker 2 You have a resume there, that's for sure. So, anyway,

Speaker 2 last week,

Speaker 2 my new friend, Chris Pratt,

Speaker 2 he does a great sh series

Speaker 2 on Amazon called The Terminalist. He plays a Navy SEAL, and he wanted me to do,

Speaker 2 you know, lens

Speaker 2 cameo? Well, as myself

Speaker 2 on the set with, you know, two of the people who I know because I watch the series that are, and it's as if, you know, to lend verisimilitude to the situation. So, but it was like a three-page scene.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 so I wanted to do my best. I learned my lines and we shot it after the last taping of real time.
It took a couple of hours. And And I just remembered, wow, this is hard.
First of all, learning lines.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 At our age, forget it. That shit is like a...
How do you do it? Dude, it's not easy anymore. It's so shitty.
I used to have a photographic memory. It's really? But now there's a lens cap over it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's foggy.
My photographic memory does not photograph anymore.

Speaker 2 I have to spend months learning lines now. Months.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, especially like the series Smoke I did, I had so much dialogue.

Speaker 2 I had to learn it months ahead because it's five episodes that I'm in, and I, and I had to like, I had a ton of dialogue, like pages and pages.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of work. And then there's a lot of waiting, enacting, just waiting.
And they pay you to wait is what they say.

Speaker 2 But it's like you can never really relax when you're waiting. No, you're not relaxed because you're relaxed.
Because you're going to do another take. Yeah.
So you can't let your mind just.

Speaker 2 So you're kind of like anxious all day.

Speaker 2 You're like in a coma state. You're just like frozen.
And then waiting for to be called on to give your best emotions. And maybe your best take

Speaker 2 is not going to get used because they were on somebody else or because it was a plane or something. The best take is always off camera when you're doing off camera for somebody.

Speaker 2 And I've talked to every actor and they all say Matt Damon, Tom Holland,

Speaker 2 they all say that your best take is always off camera when you're relaxed. And you go, oh, that's what the fucking scene was.

Speaker 2 Because you're relaxed, you know, and you're not tense anymore. That's what what I'm saying.
It's a maddening business. If people,

Speaker 2 but it's a high when you get it is a high, when you do get it, you want to chase that magical

Speaker 2 nothing, nothing in life equates to it. Absolutely.
When you nail it in your clothes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, like, and you feel that in comedy as well.

Speaker 2 You feel it. Yeah.
Yeah, but comedy, I don't have to remember lines exactly. You know, I don't have to.
Oh, so we did different things. I'm saying my own line.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Mine were all scripted. My one-man shows are very written.
Yeah. And I'll improvise a little bit, but most of it is like really structured.
And yeah, it's a different thing.

Speaker 2 You're riffing. But it's

Speaker 2 like on a subconscious level. Yeah.
Yeah. You have a structure, but you can, you know, you can drift from shore knowing you'll come back to shore.

Speaker 2 But this acting shit, I mean, like,

Speaker 2 I tell the guy they set it all up and like, man, the equipment they have these days is like so insane from what I remember.

Speaker 2 Oh, you know, like, they have this camera, like, It looks like that thing in Dune. It's like this giant snake that comes right at you from 30 feet away.
The Jenny, the Jenny, and the cranes.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I just did a Chris Nolan movie, The Odyssey. Wow.
I had never seen. The Odyssey.
Oh, it's incredible. Well, who do you play? I play Eumaeus, the most loyal character in Western literature.
Right.

Speaker 2 That's how he sold it to me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, probably true. No, it is true.

Speaker 2 Now that is the cradle of civilization, The the Odyssey.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, we're talking about Western European literature, yeah. Okay, but it's 800 B.C.
Yeah, I mean, it's incredible. I love The Odyssey.
Come on, I love

Speaker 2 it. And The Odyssey is just always great.
Oh, yeah, it's a great read. It's a great read.
It's a great read. I mean, do you remember Jason and the Argonauts? Vaguely, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those movies were kind of similar based and bad the sailor. Yeah, Jason.

Speaker 2 He was a Greek mythology character. So, like, do you, when you were younger and your kids were younger, would you make certain movies that the kids would like, oh, daddy's in this one?

Speaker 2 And that was like the

Speaker 2 Georgia Exploradora for them. Oh, you, for them.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 For them. Yeah, so they could hear my voice, but they didn't really, I don't know if they really liked that.
I tried not to work as much, that's for sure. I tried to be home a lot more for myself.

Speaker 2 But what about when you played a bad guy? Because you have a great range. I mean, I've seen you play really, you know,

Speaker 2 the bad guys are always the fun, the funner roles, the most exciting roles. You can really do fun things with that.
Yeah, I enjoyed that.

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah, I tried, once you have kids, you do think about your legacy and you do think about what am I putting out into the airwaves.

Speaker 2 And I tried to play a lot less villains because I just didn't want to put that out there. You know, I mean, I wanted my kids to see me in ways that were more positive.

Speaker 2 Especially being a Latin man, I didn't want to be always a villain because there were so many roles for villain. Dude, when I started out,

Speaker 2 the Ross Report, do you remember the Ross Report came out every Monday and told you what roles were available? It was like Jim Crow.

Speaker 2 It'd be like white actor, white lawyer, white doctor, white lover, Latino drug dealer. And they wouldn't see you for any other role except the drug dealer.

Speaker 2 So I was like, you know, my chances of making it in this business are going to be difficult.

Speaker 2 I did a piece on my show a couple of years ago, probably around Oscar time, about, and I, you know, I've since become friends with this director, Nancy Myers. Oh, Nancy Myers, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 complicated. Oh, many

Speaker 2 ton of great rom-coms, yeah.

Speaker 2 And, you know, we laughed at it when I finally met her because she would turn out to be a big fan. And she said, boy, I saw you kind of go after me.
I was not going after her.

Speaker 2 I just used one of her movies as an example to say that for all the people who think they're so liberal, if you look at movies only from 15 years ago, you will see movies that are like so amazingly completely white.

Speaker 2 And these are made by the biggest liberal.

Speaker 2 We're not talking about 1975. No, no.
We're talking about 2010. And you could see lots of movies where they,

Speaker 2 I was making jokes about it. I said, you know,

Speaker 2 it looks like you would need a, you know, a restraining order

Speaker 2 to get people. They were so all white.
They were all white casts. It was insane.

Speaker 2 And she's not, and she wasn't the only, I could have picked so many different movies from that. That was just an example.
It was just an example.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 all these super liberal people were in her movies, Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep. It was Steve Martin.
It's like these people who are like

Speaker 2 the liberalist of the liberal wokest, and I'm like... But they weren't aware.
They weren't aware of the situation. It was not that long ago.
No.

Speaker 2 And you were completely okay to make a movie where, again,

Speaker 2 there must have been a restraining order. No, I agree with you.
People of color keep 500 yards

Speaker 2 because it's a white-only movie. And it's just like, it's just saying that we all, life moves at the pace it's going to move.

Speaker 2 Yes, we should always be trying to move it faster, but it's only going to move as fast as it's going to move, even among the people who are supposedly the most enlightened. Right.

Speaker 2 No, I agree with you. I mean, I feel like liberals are trying to do the best they can.

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 they

Speaker 2 aren't always aware of what's going on. I mean, they're not totally aware.
And it's our job, activists, to make them aware, to bring it into the forefront and to not let people forget the issues.

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah, that's what we got to do. I'm glad you're out there doing that.
Yeah, I got to know.

Speaker 2 And I'm glad, I mean, I'm wrapping it up because they told me you had to get to a thing, so I know you do. But what a pleasure, man.

Speaker 2 Total pleasure. Yeah, it's always a pleasure.
I'm so glad that we can like not agree on everything and still be friends. Because I always like you.

Speaker 2 You always entertain me so well. I've seen you in a trillion things over the years.
And it's always like, oh, you know, that guy's good. He's just good.
You know, he's

Speaker 2 entertaining and he does. You deliver.
Yeah, like you do. You used to deliver.
I never phone it in. I'll tell you that.
No, no. You got the biggest show in podcasts ever.

Speaker 2 Do I? Yeah, I think that's why I'm here. I think that's Joe.
That's what I was told by my public. I think that's Joe Rogan.
No, no,

Speaker 2 I think you're about to unseat it.

Speaker 2 No, but we're doing it. We're doing it.
You kept it up, baby. Come on.
Let me grab this because we're going to do one last thing. And while I do, yes, I'm sorry.
And

Speaker 2 what do you get out of this? Is a raffle? No, it looks like that. But before you do,

Speaker 2 Plug Luzomo does America. Yeah, so I got this MSNBC show on the very liberal network, MSNBC.
They call it MSDNC at the White House. Oh, they do.

Speaker 2 That's fucked up.

Speaker 2 But this show is, I go around America looking for Latin excellence, Latin exceptionalism, genius, and I go to six different cities every season. And this time I went to Philadelphia, Denver,

Speaker 2 San Antonio, Phoenix, and Raleigh. Wow.
Yeah. And then I meet all these great Latino activists, Latino politicians, chefs.
artists, actors. Yeah, and we sit down and we talk.

Speaker 2 When does this start? This starts July 6th. July 6th.
Perfect timing. What a pleasure, Bill.
Thank you for having me in your mansion.

Speaker 2 Not a mansion, just a piece of land.

Speaker 2 You know how long it took me to walk here?

Speaker 2 It was like a 15-minute walk

Speaker 2 from the entrance. It was.

Speaker 2 That's what we like about California. We can spread out.