Kid Rock | Club Random

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Speaker 4 Do you want to hear about my vasectom? I do. I can't believe I'm going to admit this on whatever we're on.

Speaker 1 I just want to picture this. It's 5.30.
Trump calls you. He asks you what you're wearing.

Speaker 4 The ever-comedian though.

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 1 I need a drink. I had that asshole kid rock on to.
Oh.

Speaker 4 My biggest ratings ever.

Speaker 1 It'll do well. You always do well.

Speaker 4 People like the truth, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, not everybody sees what you're saying as the truth.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 4 People like your own, even if it's your own.

Speaker 1 Until truth, people like real. People like real.
I think that is one thing people would say about us, even people who don't like us, that we're not liars.

Speaker 1 That's why I like you. Yeah, that's why I like you.

Speaker 4 You've been awfully kind to me through the years, you know, to start there. But, you know.

Speaker 4 Of course, I don't like when you're talking shit about my boy, but I know.

Speaker 1 That's one thing. But, you know, we have to.

Speaker 4 But at least it's a truth.

Speaker 1 You know, it's

Speaker 4 so many people sugarcoat this shit. You know how Hollywood works, and they're publicists, and I'm in crisis mode.
I'm like, just give me the phone, I'll talk about it.

Speaker 1 And people have to have the capacity to not see it the same way and then go on to the next subject.

Speaker 1 Dingo. Not obsessed.
And this is, see, you, I think you don't have to live with this as much as I do. I mean, that is probably

Speaker 1 my biggest beef with the left. And you know, I do not couch my criticisms of them.

Speaker 1 And that's why I have such a hard time out here, because there's such purists out here, and they will not countenance any diversion from the one true opinion as they see it.

Speaker 1 So I am insufficiently liberal for them. I had somebody who was very woke here one day, and I said, you know, we voted for the same person.
The difference is

Speaker 1 you're why she lost,

Speaker 1 because that's the kind of face

Speaker 1 that a lot of Americans see on that sort of authoritarianism of the left, which I know is what animates you a lot. And it's not that it's not there.

Speaker 4 And the pendulum just swings too far. It gets stuck.

Speaker 8 Exactly.

Speaker 4 It goes back the other way, and it just doesn't have time to go like this.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Well, then, are you admitting that it's gone too far with where we are now?

Speaker 1 No, not at all.

Speaker 4 No, I think, I think you just think DC needs a cleansing and it's getting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but not the way they're doing it. It's very.

Speaker 4 I think it's yet to be seen. I think it's too early.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean, today they had to go back on

Speaker 1 firing all the people who maintained the nuclear weapons.

Speaker 4 All right, let's start there, right? So

Speaker 4 I don't know much about that. I don't know how much you know about it, but just a little common sense would tell me that maybe, just maybe, I don't know, I'd have to make a couple phone calls.

Speaker 4 That technology has probably changed

Speaker 4 significantly since let's say the 80s. If they needed, you know, 10 people to look over a bomb, they might only need two now.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 But I think it's a reasonable thought.

Speaker 1 It is a reasonable thought. It is a reasonable thought.
And by the way, to back it up,

Speaker 1 What has come out of some of this is something that Democrats also have been complaining about for years, that when you say uh they must have updated no a lot of times they haven't oh like they like I can't was it the FBI they're still using a typewriter yeah somebody was no that's not an exaggeration somebody was still using something that was

Speaker 4 and you think well they're in that cave in Pennsylvania writing stuff out like for uh retirement or something whatever that's that thing was Like a limestone cave in Pennsylvania or something.

Speaker 4 They're doing it. Like we can only do 10,000, you know, a month, like retirement, whatever.
Monks.

Speaker 1 And they're like, monks. They're like down there.

Speaker 4 Like, it's like, who the fuck is supposed to be watching this shit? Our politicians, right?

Speaker 8 No, no.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've been on that page. I mean,

Speaker 1 every time I criticize them for the way they're doing it, I'm careful to make the point, it needs to be done. I said at the end of last year, this country needs a colonic.

Speaker 1 I just wouldn't choose them to do it. And I think I'm right about that because their idea of a colonic is to take a fucking jackhammer and stick it up your ass.

Speaker 1 And that's not the way I want my colonic done.

Speaker 4 I think a lot of politicians deserve that colonic, that jackhammer up the ass. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 4 you know, just what's coming out, you know, that's like, how I don't care if it's Republicans or Democrats. I mean, for years, it's just been like the status quo.

Speaker 4 And like all this shit's just going on. And nobody thought to take a fucking peek at it with our tax dollars.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, Clinton,

Speaker 1 you remember the 90s. I know you do.
Vaguely.

Speaker 1 Because I remember when the wreckage, that's when you first blew up.

Speaker 1 Clinton

Speaker 1 did very much, at least rhetorically, and also gave people the same thing Musk did, except back then it wasn't eight months' pay. It was $25,000.

Speaker 4 If you'll fucking... I never had a huge problem with Clinton.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying that this is not new. And Al Gore was put in head of this department of, it was basically Doge.
It was Al Gore's Doge.

Speaker 1 It was like, yes, government is wasteful and fraudulent and inefficient, and we have to do something about it.

Speaker 4 What'd they do?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. No, I get it.
So that's why this is politically feasible to people. That's why at least they're giving it a chance.

Speaker 1 They're saying, yeah, forever they've been saying that they're going to do this, and now some motherfuckers are in there who don't give a shit about who likes them or how they look, which is why people like them.

Speaker 1 I can relate. I can too.

Speaker 1 It's the great irony. I had a billboard up just last week for the new season, and the catchphrase is, he's not in it for the likes.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah, it is good because

Speaker 4 the irony. The likes and the clicks and views.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the irony that,

Speaker 1 you know, people like you when you don't care if they like you.

Speaker 4 I think it goes back to just being real. You know, it's just being real.

Speaker 4 And I think it, it's some, luckily somehow I figured it out, and you must have too, too when you were when we were both a lot younger. It's like

Speaker 4 Fuck, you know, the real, I figured it out when I was young and I was trying to fit into the black communities I was hanging in, you know, crafting my trade and like, you know, wearing troop suits and shit.

Speaker 4 And, you know, people just basically thought I was an idiot, which I was. And then I just started being myself at a really young age, wearing my little skateboard shit.

Speaker 4 And this thing, you know, there was a good DJ.

Speaker 4 And people just liked me more because I was myself. And I learned that very young and just took that with me.

Speaker 1 To me, this is the big mistake that white people make about black people because usually the super lefties who are way more liberal in polling shows this than the average black person.

Speaker 1 Black person is way too liberal.

Speaker 4 I just saw that in the election. I mean, Trump got more of a black vote than I was actually talking to him about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's before he did the inauguration speech. I was like, sir, you know, don't forget, like, you know,

Speaker 4 it was actually kind of funny that, you know, you don't, that you got the biggest black vote in the history of Conservative Party, like this, that, and the other.

Speaker 4 You know, make sure you touch on that. You know, I was talking to some of my black friends about it and this, that, and the other.
And, and he did. He touched on it.
And,

Speaker 4 you know, that excites me. He still,

Speaker 4 yeah, yeah, you don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he got more than any Republican since Nixon,

Speaker 1 more than his first time. He still got creamed.

Speaker 4 Of course, the population grows, so there's more voters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, no, but we're talking about percentages. Yeah.
He did better. He still got creamed in the black floor.
Let's not pretend he didn't. But, okay, but the thing I was going to say is that

Speaker 1 the,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 the far lefty woke types, I don't think they really

Speaker 1 actually have any black friends, probably. They don't.

Speaker 4 I see this in the fucking music business all the time.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 4 These motherfucking lefties, and they're like, think they're going to be this big black savior. And it's like, you're a fucking idiot.
Like, you just don't fucking understand.

Speaker 1 Because I think if they actually knew black people, what they would understand is that, see, they think in their social justice warrior head.

Speaker 4 They know a black musician who plays in a band. They know of who's this, that, and the other.
They don't know the streets. They don't know, you know, fucking.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say real black people, this, that, and the other.

Speaker 4 But, you know.

Speaker 1 In their social justice warrior head, the most important thing they think, I think, to black people is that we're allies.

Speaker 1 And I think black people, you know, I'm just

Speaker 1 extrapolating from the black people I talk to and I know

Speaker 1 they're a lot more cynical about it than they're like, oh, please,

Speaker 1 we don't trust any white people fully. And who can blame them? So just because you're a liberal Democrat doesn't mean we think you

Speaker 4 I've never heard any black person trust white people. Now they might drive into a certain community and be like, oh, I'm fucking around here because they're going to fucking lynch my ass.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? Shit like that, like we're driving in the north.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying they don't have this great belief that the liberals are so much better or really care more. And it's like, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 look at cities. Like they're run by Democrats, but they don't seem to actually help with the problems that blacks are having in cities.
You know,

Speaker 1 I mean, sometimes they do, and certainly they try, their heart's in the right place. But

Speaker 1 their programs very often seem to get in the way of themselves. But what I was going to say is like, no, I think what my friends at least, what they care most about is who keeps it real?

Speaker 1 Not who's your ally, who keeps it real. That to me is the currency.
So, even if they don't agree with you,

Speaker 1 they

Speaker 1 respect that.

Speaker 4 And I find that every day. People that approach me and say whatever to me, you know, if I'm out and about in public, which I always am.
I find it all the time.

Speaker 1 What do they say to you?

Speaker 4 Usually,

Speaker 1 you know, black people?

Speaker 1 Any people?

Speaker 1 But yeah, but black people say that?

Speaker 4 They say a lot of different things, but I mean,

Speaker 4 you know, people that are real.

Speaker 4 People that are real, just like you're sitting here talking to me, and we're going to have a good conversation. And, you know, I would dare say we've become friends is that, you know,

Speaker 4 we have different opinions on a lot of things, but we both have our truths. And those are, you know.

Speaker 4 We keep it real with each other and we can speak about this shit and we can find some things in the future.

Speaker 1 And I don't think that's true. And I don't think you're a bad guy.
And I don't think you're a racist, which liberals do. They think you're a terrible racist.

Speaker 4 Yeah, white woke liberals think I'm a racist.

Speaker 1 Yes, they do.

Speaker 4 Fuck yeah. Then to them, fuck yeah, I am.
Fuck them.

Speaker 4 I'd rather just fucking horndog into and be like, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, when I was, when we were in the 90s, it was the conservatives who had the stick up their ass.

Speaker 1 Now it's the other way around. Like your song I was quoting it on the show tonight, Low Life.
I quoted the great line about.

Speaker 4 I got kids I've never seen and never seen.

Speaker 1 My mom is 17.

Speaker 1 But the other one is like.

Speaker 4 My friend John Eddie wrote that.

Speaker 1 I owe everybody money. I think racist jokes are funny.
Now, that's something that to a lot of people out here in Hollywood, that is over the line to even make that joke.

Speaker 4 Which is why movies have gotten so shitty.

Speaker 4 Who's going to make stepbrothers or something again? Like everybody's dancing around. You know, as a comedian scared to fucking say this and that, it's like, no wonder everything got so shitty.

Speaker 4 It's not funny anymore.

Speaker 1 Now, I think this is much more of a generational thing than a racial thing. I think there is a generation, not ours,

Speaker 1 the one or two, maybe two after us, Gen Z, especially, that came after us,

Speaker 1 where sort of everything is predicated on what triggers you, what you're offended by.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we start asking children at a young age, like, how does that make you feel?

Speaker 4 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Like, how does that make you feel?

Speaker 4 We coddled these fucking kids, you know, like I was saying on the show, like, too long and did too much. Like,

Speaker 4 you know, you don't want to be the bad parent that says, you know, go, go ride your bike without a helmet. Come back and when you broke your fucking arm, you know, it's okay.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? But God forbid something happens to your kid, then you're the fucking bad parent.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 You're the terrible one.

Speaker 1 It's like, fuck it. No, you can't actually ever enunciate this to people because they would just kick you in the teeth.
But the truth is that. A certain of them are going to die.

Speaker 1 I mean, certain number of kids. It's amazing how we've gotten that number down.
It wasn't that long ago historically. I'm talking only like 100 or maybe

Speaker 1 200 years ago where

Speaker 1 it seems like a long time to me.

Speaker 1 Of human history? It's a blink of an eye.

Speaker 4 It's like a long time.

Speaker 1 It's a couple of generations, a few generations. But before that, you know how many children used to die like before the age of five? About half.

Speaker 4 Sure.

Speaker 1 You only had a 50-50 chance to get out of toddler world.

Speaker 1 You know, you got kicked by a horse or,

Speaker 1 you know, you

Speaker 1 had that or your parents had 12 kids and they forgot about you or whatever the fuck it was.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 no, kids have no idea how good they have it. But I also do wish.

Speaker 4 Probably what our parents said about us too, right?

Speaker 1 And they were right. Yeah.
It's amazing. They think.

Speaker 4 It's relevant every generation.

Speaker 1 Are you a boomer? No, you're not old enough to you're gen X 54 Gen X.

Speaker 4 I don't know what they all are.

Speaker 4 Yes, you're I consider myself gen awesome

Speaker 1 Okay, Charlie Sheen

Speaker 1 Get him his tiger blood. Yeah, it's running low.

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Speaker 9 Hey, what's up, Flies? This is David Spade, Dana Carvey. Look at it.
I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall.

Speaker 10 Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us and see us chatting with big-name celebrities.

Speaker 9 And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips.

Speaker 10 Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 I hope we have enough...

Speaker 1 Oh, what do you... Oh, you're on drinking Coors Light? Is that a joke? Did somebody do that?

Speaker 4 No, they just, that's what was there. I'm drinking it.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 But you're, so you made up with them. Or actually, they made up with you.

Speaker 4 You're talking about Bud Light?

Speaker 4 Oh, it was Bud Light, yes. Keep smoking it.

Speaker 1 Keep smoking them funny cigarettes, Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, Bud Light.
But I saw that their Super Bowl commercial was an attempt. Did you see this? to undo

Speaker 4 actually become friends with them.

Speaker 1 See, that's how you handle it.

Speaker 4 I think I invited him, the CEO, CEO, Brendan. And then I was like, and I told him, I don't want anything from you.
I'm not looking for money. Everything's fine in that department.
I go,

Speaker 4 I go, let's have a, we had some mutual people. And I was like, let's have a conversation.
I go, and it's not any gotcha either.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm not trying to get you there to be like, oh, fuck them, this, that, and the other.

Speaker 4 And we actually became friends through this whole ordeal.

Speaker 1 I love this story.

Speaker 4 They did offer some, some, some big dollars and potential for him to be. And I said, man, I just can't do that.
I was like, and really at the end of the day, since we're on it, like

Speaker 4 basically what happened is

Speaker 4 they let a fox into the hen house. You know, they just weren't keeping an eye on things.
And I was like, well, what do you think is going to happen when you're talking about the ad person?

Speaker 4 Well, for that whole Dylan McVaney thing. You know, there was just like, it was like a blip, but you know, it obviously blew up and all this culture war shit and everything.

Speaker 1 And it was like, but what do you care if they what? I don't understand why that upset you so much.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I'm fucking, you know, guys that watch football and fucking, you know, our dudes don't want to see. This is just bad business.

Speaker 1 It was that, but I did think she was adorable, I have to say.

Speaker 4 Oh, you watched some of those videos like

Speaker 4 before it turned, whatever that turned into this, like, and the price is right. And she was fucking hysterical.

Speaker 1 There was something so innocent about her, so innocent and joyous,

Speaker 1 which, which you've now killed.

Speaker 1 Yes, she was just so happy to be there. And like,

Speaker 1 this kid who like probably a year ago was studying for, or not even studying, for some test or something in high school. And now here she is, like, you know, I'm that voice of Bud Light.

Speaker 1 I get to be on TV and you're filming me and doing my hair. And it's just like, so like,

Speaker 1 I don't know why you let yourself get agitated about that, but I also get it that.

Speaker 4 It's because it's just spur of the fucking moment.

Speaker 1 I didn't think it through. Right.
I'm just like playing.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 4 I keep a shit ton of beer around the house, all types of of beer. And Bud Light was one of them.

Speaker 1 And a million rifles.

Speaker 4 I fucking got a great MP5 machine gun. And I'm like,

Speaker 4 fuck it, set them up. Let's have some fun.

Speaker 1 Honey, put your camera on video. I went, yeah.

Speaker 4 They were always telling me I need to do more social media and this. I'm like, fuck, I got one for you.

Speaker 1 It is amazing how big that was, though. I mean, it was everywhere because it had everything.
You know, it had a star. It had a point of view.
It had guns.

Speaker 4 Had my MAGA hat on.

Speaker 1 Well, of course. I don't think that added anything, but the guns.

Speaker 4 Oh, it did, because, you know, in the day and age, this was a day and age when people were...

Speaker 1 But they already had a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they did. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, of course, they did, but nonetheless, still did it.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think they knew that first picture that came out where you were sucking his dick.

Speaker 1 Shit. What is it like to be with him? You said today that he's funny and he's, I can imagine that.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's unbelievable. Unbelievable.
The more I get to know him, the more we've become friends over the last eight, 10 years, whatever.

Speaker 4 So I'm confident you guys would sit down and have a good time have a lot of time.

Speaker 1 Everybody tells that to me. Everybody says you'd like him and he would.
He would. He'd like you.
I hope he.

Speaker 4 He told me one time, I told him last time I was coming to do the podcast.

Speaker 4 I said, I'm going to do Bill Meyers' podcast. He's like, really?

Speaker 4 He's like, tell him I love him.

Speaker 1 Okay. And I'm like, wow.
Yeah, what?

Speaker 4 He's like, tell him I love him. I'm like, seriously.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 If he would only get off the not-conceding elections thing, we could be a lot closer.

Speaker 4 I mean, Bill, come on, that was.

Speaker 1 I don't know what fucking happened.

Speaker 1 You know, just because. Oh, I know what happened.
Joe Biden won an election. That's what happened.

Speaker 4 No, there was COVID going on. There was all sorts of horrors going on.

Speaker 4 They use that as a disguise.

Speaker 1 I don't know. But he won this.

Speaker 4 Just because you don't get caught doesn't not make it a cross.

Speaker 1 Oh, Bob, you lose me when you go there because it's been adjudicated. It's like give up on that one.

Speaker 1 It's just

Speaker 4 people going to fucking jail that fucking, you know, got convicted by 12 of their fucking peers. They're fucking innocent.

Speaker 1 Irrelevant. Happens all the time.
It's irrelevant to this point and this discussion. But, sweetheart, it's actually a better story this way because it's a trilogy.
He wins in the election.

Speaker 1 Then there has to be an act two

Speaker 1 where the hero is wandering in the wilderness before you have act three. So it's better that he lost.
Joe Biden did him a favor. He's more legendary because he came back.

Speaker 4 There's no question to that.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that

Speaker 4 you can never convince me and a lot of people that there wasn't shenanigans going on during COVID, during that election, all the shit. It was a fucking time.

Speaker 4 That was a banana's time.

Speaker 1 I may not convince you of it, but it is eminently convincable

Speaker 1 to anyone who wants to go through just really

Speaker 1 non-partisan court rulings,

Speaker 1 Republican,

Speaker 1 Republicans saying it, lots of them. It's just, he lost an election.
That's shaney.

Speaker 1 You don't win. You don't win everyone.
Was everyone a hit record? Was everyone a hit record? No.

Speaker 4 But,

Speaker 1 you know, does every one of my jokes land? No.

Speaker 1 You lose a few.

Speaker 1 And it's just a better story and it just would be, it would be me, it would make me breathe a lot easier because I'm not sure that this crowd is ever going to give, I don't know if we'll ever see a Democrat president again, because I just don't think

Speaker 1 they are of a mind that that can happen without it ruining the country. So they convince themselves they have to do it.
They don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 They just have to do it because otherwise a Democrat, that's what you see monkey do, too.

Speaker 4 But, you know,

Speaker 1 meaning.

Speaker 4 I mean, somebody starts something and like, you see the talking points come out of like the comms in the the White House or this, that, and the other.

Speaker 4 It's like everyone gets on the same talking point. They use them a lot in the news now.
Everyone's talking about this. They're saying this.

Speaker 4 They're saying, oh, you know, the end of, what is the big one now? It's constitutional something.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The reason why the Democrats have a hard time prosecuting this case and making Americans care as much as they should have is because there is a version, a slighter, less damaging.

Speaker 1 less threatening to the Constitution version of all of it that the Democrats do. Everything is a slippery slope.
Trump's a king. Yeah, they all try to act like kings to a degree.

Speaker 1 These people just take it to a different degree. And also, the Democrats draw the line at when they lose an election, they just quit.
They quit, quick.

Speaker 1 I mean, Kamala Harris was in like, you know, the Bahamas like hot Thursday. I mean, they just like, okay, we lost, get out of town.
See you, we'll try again next year. No big deal.

Speaker 4 Whereas will you pardon your son? No.

Speaker 1 Well, that's again, you have

Speaker 1 Not an untrue point. That was a horrible hypocrisy.

Speaker 4 Again, it doesn't have anything to do with he doesn't concede elections, but let's not say everything to do with just being fucking checked out and lying for fucking four years about fucking almost everything.

Speaker 4 Like, who's running the fucking country? Okay. It was almost, it was just bananas to sit back and watch.
Like, I don't wish that on any human being, you know, to

Speaker 4 there's something wrong there, clearly. And everyone should

Speaker 1 wish Joe Biden. Biden.
Oh, Biden.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 it was all.

Speaker 4 Talk like anything. And like, everyone's terrible.
Democrats are like standing up for him.

Speaker 1 But I'm thinking that I put myself in those shoes.

Speaker 4 I'm like, something was really wrong with Trump. Like, would I sit there? Like, you've kind of insinuated and asked me, asked other people, like, what's your breaking point? Like,

Speaker 4 I don't know, but if. I would have to think that I'm a rational enough human being that if something was that bad, I'd be like, hey, man, this is fucked up

Speaker 1 someone's gotta like someone gotta step in here like what the fuck is going on i was trying to get him to leave a long time before people were most people or some people were but uh i can't argue that point it's always it's just always comes down to a matter of degree and what you think is the is the bigger you know

Speaker 4 Well, so people, once they grasp onto something, they're holding on to it. They're so scared to look at it from a different angle and let go.
You know what I mean? That is their fucking

Speaker 4 everything, their safety. It's like, no,

Speaker 4 I got in this boat. I'm going to keep paddling.
It's like, well, you're going upstream. You sure you don't want to turn around?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Isn't it amazing, though, that they're almost the same age, and yet Biden

Speaker 1 is like cripkeeper kind of like

Speaker 1 skeleton.

Speaker 1 Well, or how we treat ourselves. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Whereas Trump, almost the same age, and I used to say it in my act, like it was like he puts on the wig and the face paint and he's like, kiss in 1976. It's like he hasn't changed the day.

Speaker 1 Nothing is different. He's got that, he's got a brand, which was kind of brilliant.

Speaker 4 He's got more energy

Speaker 4 and wants to win at every level, wants to win at every level.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 he does not present as old. You know what I mean? He doesn't.

Speaker 4 It's fucking insane, Bill. Sometimes, you know, I'll talk to him like, sometimes I'll call him.
I told him, I said, sir, you know, you don't have to pick up my calls all the time.

Speaker 4 Like, sometimes I've had feet beer.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's not doing anything.

Speaker 1 He's up calling my. Trust me.

Speaker 4 And then, like, and then he'll get me back. He'll call me like 5.30 in the morning and be like, hey, you up?

Speaker 4 And I will be because neither one of us sleep a lot. Really? You know, this and the other, but his energy level, his fight,

Speaker 4 his wanting to win, no matter what it is, like somebody with those qualities, I want fighting for me.

Speaker 1 I want him in my corner. No matter what the fight is.
We're fighting for America. I want him in that corner.
I wish I was in that corner. I

Speaker 1 was in a corner with a guy who could fight like him. I agree.
There's nobody better. But at like getting what he wants.

Speaker 4 Did you repeat that?

Speaker 1 No, nobody at getting what he wants.

Speaker 1 No, you said nobody better.

Speaker 1 Nobody better at getting what he wants. I have issues with the means, which is crucial to that point.
You can't get what you want just by any means. Like, we want Greenland.

Speaker 1 We're just going to take it. No, it doesn't work that way.
But let me...

Speaker 4 Well, that's what he says, and that's part of his negotiations. That's part of the genius when he goes in and he says, like, hey, don't do this, or I'll blow you fucking blow you fucking up.

Speaker 4 And they're like, well, you're going to do what? He's like, I'm going to blow you the fuck up. People are like,

Speaker 4 even if they believe him, 5%.

Speaker 4 And it keeps them from starting a war somewhere.

Speaker 1 That's the fucking guy I want. I get it.
He's that good. All right.
So I'm going to ask you about that in a minute, but wait. So I just want to picture this.
It's 5.30. Trump calls you.
You answer.

Speaker 1 he asks you what you're wearing

Speaker 1 no the ever comedian bill i like it i like a good joke come on i know you do and so do i i mean so many of your songs are funny you know fucking 50 is very funny certainly low life is a scream um

Speaker 4 oh there's billion fucking yeah fucking

Speaker 1 the one i talked to you about last time like the nashville uh the nashville i know that's very funny about the Metros and the what do you call them?

Speaker 4 They're all drinking Micheloba Ultras.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 And you wish they'd start some shit with you. You'd knock out their whitened teeth.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I so the original line on that was that was written by a friend of mine, War Gunther. That I take these songs sometimes that people have written and I rework them.
I put my thing on them.

Speaker 4 I rewrite words and shit like this.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, to me,

Speaker 1 your almost unique genius is almost unique genius is well other people have done it is what i'm saying you don't even know what i'm going to say but no i'm going to tell you the the the way you can evoke the feeling of really that time in your life that is the most

Speaker 4 sort of

Speaker 1 embossed in your brain adolescence you're 17

Speaker 4 your first love

Speaker 1 i remember waiting at the school bus jenny Clayton was my first crush.

Speaker 1 You know, that all, you have so many songs that evoke that feeling, drinking from the same cup. You know,

Speaker 4 one of the best feelings outside of love, sex, like just that nostalgia feeling

Speaker 1 every time. Remember my first.

Speaker 4 I had a wrote a new song from her. It gets me every time.

Speaker 1 Is that how you do it?

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I do, you know, I work the same way. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 When someone says something poignant or outside of the box or something that's that's just different, I write it down.

Speaker 1 It's a title or a line or anything. I never purposely write.
I just remember when I, things I say when I'm high.

Speaker 4 But that's, you know, the title of your next special, Things I Say When I'm High.

Speaker 1 Well, that's going to be the title of every show and everybody. Oh, it's called a podcast.
It is a podcast. All right.
But like Glenn Frye said he was

Speaker 1 in this car with this guy driving on the freeway and he said life in the fast lane

Speaker 4 and glenn was like oh thank you for making my next 12 million dollars for me because no of course then you have to which is also saying like someone gave me a brick and i built the white house there's a lot more work entailed i was just gonna say which as you know as a comedian you know you write down like the one thing but it sparks something in you And then

Speaker 4 I've learned over the years that you write more and more down. Like the dumbest shit you would think at the time, but you just write it down.
Sometimes you forget about it.

Speaker 4 You go back through your notes, through a chord you wrote, through a voice recording, through whatever it is. And, you know, you write a hundred and maybe one of them hits.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, that's what, speaking of the Eagles, what Don Henley said when Don Felder, I don't know if he sued them, but he definitely wanted to be the writer on Hotel California.
Now, he did give

Speaker 1 Henley. He wrote the guitar.
Well, he gave him a tape with that sort of beginning kind of riff. And he said, yeah, it was a very intriguing idea for a song.
It had no lyrics. It had no title.

Speaker 1 It had no chord changes. You know, yes, a lot of these bricks have to go in.

Speaker 4 It's kind of constituted a songwriting, though. Like, you know.
Is what?

Speaker 4 In a weird way, it's a very slippery slope in songwriting. Like, you know, like in Nashville, they call it write a word, take a third.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 It's like if you sit, if four guys sit in a room and you come in and you got a melody and like a hook or something, and there's a fourth guy sitting there that just you know changes um right

Speaker 4 one line of the song he gets a third well i'm no stingy motherfucker i i like think you know that i think people would tell you i take care of people around me you know sometimes give more than what's due but at other times i'm like too like wait a minute

Speaker 4 let's fucking call this what it is you know what i mean like

Speaker 4 I came with this and this, you came with this. Let's talk about it, split up the percentages.

Speaker 4 Sometimes I'll just give people fucking more, but that didn't happen until I I was rich.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, you'll appreciate this story then. Maybe you heard it.
Diane Warren, the great songwriter. I know Diane.
You do? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, she noticed that this is like two years ago, that a Beyoncé song had 24 writers on it.

Speaker 4 Oh, I've seen that all the time. That happens a lot.
Pop music and hip-hop and stuff. It's even happening in Nashville now.

Speaker 1 But she, so she said, she said, she commented to somebody, how can you have 24 writers on a song? And then the other

Speaker 1 types who you and I both don't have any use for said it was racist.

Speaker 1 Everything's racist. Because she was questioning, and I don't even know where the.

Speaker 4 If you say anything negative about Beyonce, you're racist. It happened to me years ago.
I said, Beyoncé, something.

Speaker 4 I said, I think she's beautiful. She's talented.
Always been kind to me. I know her runnin's nor father nor sister.
I've known him through the years.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 And I was like, I just don't understand how she can be this big but she doesn't have like a purple rain or like a sweet home alabama or an old-time rock and roll like a

Speaker 4 a song that no matter who you are no matter what you think this that and the other it's like

Speaker 4 that's good this that and the other i know that's specifics this and that and that her fucking bayhive came after me they're like this that and the other and i'm i was out hunting i think that i know

Speaker 4 wait bill you appreciate this is like just flooding my shit blowing all my shit up i don't give a fuck about any of that i'm like wrong gotta fuck with i'm like i'm even think about this. I just,

Speaker 4 her fan club or something is called the Bayhive, the Beehive, something like this.

Speaker 1 So I just posted a can of raid. I'm like, fuck y'all.
Of course you did. That's you.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I might submit that listen,

Speaker 1 which is from Dream Girls, which is, you don't know it. No.
I think that's pretty mainstream-y, like as far as this thing you're talking about. Like most, I think most people would know that.

Speaker 1 Listen, I'm talking about all people.

Speaker 1 Well, there's nothing all people know.

Speaker 1 No, there isn't.

Speaker 4 Everybody knows Don't Stop Believing.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that. Oh,

Speaker 1 you think kids know Don't Stop Believing?

Speaker 4 I'm talking about you got to put a certain generation on it at some point.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I don't even know who did that. I know the song.
Journey.

Speaker 1 Also, Journey in the Coliseum.

Speaker 1 No dancing, no lip syncing.

Speaker 4 Do I actually have a right? You said Coliseum.

Speaker 1 I got an old rhyme.

Speaker 4 Isn't that the yes, but I got an old rhyme that I never used, like an old dirty rhyme. See, that's it.
You just sparked his like.

Speaker 4 And my dick's so thick, you know, it ought to be bronzed, then put on display in a museum with my nuts swinging low so the host can come see them.

Speaker 1 That's from Don't Stop Believe. No, that's just this fucking weird rhyme I remembered from I don't know where that I've never used.

Speaker 1 But again, that evocation of that like time in your life,

Speaker 1 the one about

Speaker 1 you're in the second row with your girl on your shoulders. Yeah.
Like all that stuff.

Speaker 4 That was actually started. That was started written by like Morgan Wallen, Mitchell Tenpenny.
Really? A couple other guys. This is before Morgan Wallen blew up.
And I remember this,

Speaker 4 someone, I got a demo of it. I can't remember what.

Speaker 4 And I just couldn't get over the voice on it. I was like, who the fuck is singing this demo?

Speaker 1 It's Morgan Wallen.

Speaker 4 And he was friends with, he was one of the writers on that. Now I took that song and I reworked it,

Speaker 4 put it in my thing, which I've done, you know, right. Normally I'm writing, you know, I would say 80% of my songs with one of my go-to friends like Uncle Cracker or John Eddie or somebody.

Speaker 4 You know, I don't do the Nashville rites where people say, let's get together at 3 p.m. and write a song.
I'm like, right.

Speaker 4 Let's just fucking hang out. And if some shit sparks off, let's start writing it down.
Right.

Speaker 1 That's my method, too. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It seemed to work all right. But yeah, he was actually on that.
That was them.

Speaker 1 So like still something about rock and roll. Oh, I love that.

Speaker 4 Do you know this?

Speaker 4 That's great. You like a lot of the songs.

Speaker 1 I really do. Our big hits.
And I know them well. One of my favorite songs, not of just of you, but of anything, Cold Beer, which just tells you you can separate the art from the artist.

Speaker 4 That was written by a young man in Louisiana who sent it to me. Same thing.
It's funny. All the songs you like were started by someone else that I got Shea.

Speaker 4 His name was Shay something through a friend of mine, Steven Peterman, that played for the Lions.

Speaker 4 Knew him.

Speaker 4 It's either Mississippi or Louisiana, one or the other. But yeah, just give me a cold beer.

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Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 look, this is such a good illustration of the way you can separate the art and the artist. Like, I hate beer, so I don't relate to that at all.

Speaker 4 Most gay people do.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What's up, Bulls?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was pretty cool. You had me a a couple times.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 absolutely. But Cold Beer, no.
If it was called Lit Pot, I would relate, but

Speaker 1 I don't relate to

Speaker 1 what you're singing about.

Speaker 1 The lyrics are political. I find the first line very funny because

Speaker 1 you're lamenting. No, it's like I'd turn on the radio if they were playing songs instead of like talking politics about everything's gone wrong.
Okay, I'm like, yeah. Damn, Bill, I'm impressed.

Speaker 1 Man, can you, oh, I'm telling you, I've been there for a long time. We didn't talk about this last time?

Speaker 4 We did, but I don't know. We're in Hollywood.
You might just be fucking...

Speaker 1 No, oh, no. Please.

Speaker 1 How would I, why would I do that?

Speaker 1 What would you think I like?

Speaker 4 Anyway. Because you live in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 But I am a music lover.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 4 I've come to know that more and more. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've had a lot of musicians here. Your girl Cheryl Crowe was here.
You know, I mean,

Speaker 1 not just the big one you did with it, but Collide.

Speaker 1 That's a great

Speaker 1 duet record.

Speaker 4 Bob Seeger played piano on that.

Speaker 1 But cold beer, okay.

Speaker 1 I don't agree

Speaker 1 with the beer port. Wait, first of all, yeah, you say you, you know, I find it ironic that you were lamenting that the radio is well, people talking politics.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Bob, if we only get people to shut the fuck up about politics, huh? But then, like, you doubt global warming, you know, and it's okay, because I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 You're even throwing the beer cans into the fire, which seems unnecessarily anti-environmental. I mean, why throw the can into the fire?

Speaker 4 Because it's fun to do bad things.

Speaker 1 Okay, there you go. And that's okay.
And that is a venal sin I can forgive.

Speaker 1 But it just shows you can like the art and you don't, I don't have to agree with it. I don't give a shit.
You think I live my life by song lyrics? You know, I mean, there's lots of lyrics I listen to.

Speaker 1 I mean, I love Jumpin' Jack Flash, but I don't

Speaker 1 drive a

Speaker 1 spike through my head or whatever he's saying in there. I never know what he's saying.

Speaker 4 I used to cover it. I could tell you saying,

Speaker 1 Jumpin' Jack Flash.

Speaker 4 Like a spike.

Speaker 4 I was born in a crossfire hurricane.

Speaker 1 Which they named the

Speaker 1 investigation.

Speaker 4 I felt drowned by some in the pouring rain. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 4 with a spike right through my head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, something was. You don't remember it either.

Speaker 4 This is where it's tough to argue with drugs are bad.

Speaker 1 No, it's because Mick Jagger.

Speaker 4 I'm listening to the lyrics of Tumbling Dice.

Speaker 1 Because Mick Jagger does not enunciate or he sings in his scouse cockney accent.

Speaker 4 He's like almost he wanted to be a black man.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've listened to those songs, and of course I could look up the lyrics in two seconds, but I'm too lazy.

Speaker 1 But like some of those songs I've been listening to for, you know, 50 years, and I still, I don't know,

Speaker 4 another hunky tonk woman I don't know I don't know what she met a gin-soaked barroom I met down in Mel I met a gin soaked

Speaker 4 I met a gin soaked barmaid down in Memphis she tried to take me upstairs for a ride that line I remember tried to take me upstairs for a ride and then lady then she covered me in roses

Speaker 1 yeah blew my nose and then she blew my mind I don't I was like

Speaker 1 But the song is great. So who gives it? Incredible.
No, when the songs are.

Speaker 4 Incredible. We actually came up a version for this next tour of

Speaker 4 I come out of this new song, which I'm going to make people suffer through a new song, which at my level in the career, it's like, you know, like

Speaker 4 you're not waiting for God bless, God rest his soul for Tom Petty's new song. You know what I mean? Played fucking hits.

Speaker 4 I understand that, but I'm like, when you get a good one, I'm like, all right, I'm going to make them suffer through this.

Speaker 4 And I'm not going to give them a chance to go to the bathroom or go get a drink or something. So I'm going to play it second.
And that's how you get them to suffer through it.

Speaker 4 But at the end, then we do this, what I call like an Ike Turner, Ike and Tina Turner version of I Know It's Only Rock and Roll, which gets me off too, because it's exciting for me to like do this version and get into this groove, you know, like sometimes you got to do shit for yourself to keep yourself into it.

Speaker 4 Most of the time.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're such a good singer.

Speaker 1 It's baffling to me why you like it was all when i when you were first on the scene i felt like you were just a straight up all rapper i didn't even know you could that's what i had to do to get

Speaker 1 but why you because you it's obviously you could always like rap metal was the big shit right and and

Speaker 4 and i'd been in the trenches for 10 15 years at this point really not making any money i had a kid you know blah blah blah it was like kind of do or die time you know you were doing it for 10 to 15 years before you were famous before yeah when i was like 14

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, when I was 14, you know, I was going at it. And then when I was 19, I was torn with Ice Cube and Too Short.

Speaker 4 I had released a record on Jive Records on RCA when I was 18 that sold like, I must have sold 10 or 15 copies,

Speaker 4 which is actually funny because it was this dirty record, Too Short produced some of it. And some other, some other folks.

Speaker 4 And then vanilla ice came out, and that kind of crushed that because I was this little dirty fucking white boy from Detroit.

Speaker 4 And I remember sitting in a record company and I'm like, I'm like, you can't get any of my songs fucking anywhere. This record ain't selling.
I'm fucking 18.

Speaker 4 This and her, like, they had the labels like,

Speaker 4 you said suck my dick in every song about four times.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, hmm, hmm, hmm, all right.

Speaker 4 But then it came do or die doing that record. I was like, and I actually sent in, like when I got signed to Atlantic, some like kind of rolling stones, you know, bluesy rock feeling songs.

Speaker 4 And they were were like what the fuck are you doing they're like we signed you because of some of this rap metal shit you did and I was like I can do that shit in my sleep they were like then do it

Speaker 4 and I did it and you know it's

Speaker 4 fucking sold 14 million copies off it right

Speaker 4 thought I was gonna stay there and I'm like I wrote this country song I think is pretty good I had Cheryl Crowe sing on it picture they're like you're gonna fucking ruin your career what are you doing I'm like it's just doing what I think feels good what what sounds good what i like what i think people want to hear i don't know so people go through phases in their life if you're an artist that's going to be reflected in your art so what you were interested at 14

Speaker 1 yeah it you know i don't like love me do by the beatles

Speaker 1 because they were 20

Speaker 4 anything to do with fucking country music when i was a kid my parents used to listen to it i'm like fuck this i'm like i'm gonna fucking goddamn fucking rebel and

Speaker 4 that hip-hop came out i'm like oh yeah.

Speaker 4 Unfortunately, like rebellion nowadays has turned into like, at least sometimes I think about it, and it's half joke, half serious. It's like, you know, you rebel.

Speaker 4 I'm like, fuck, I'm going to cut the lawn in my parents' house. I'm going to fucking listen to fucking Run DMC and fucking NWA and fucking like, but I really loved it.

Speaker 4 And now it's turned into like, I'm going to cut my dick off and put a dress on and piss my dad off.

Speaker 4 You can't tell where you don't think some of that's going on.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sure that is. I mean, look, every generation from the beginning of time, I think, has an impulse to, like, the

Speaker 1 prime directive is to piss off those assholes who brought you into the world and gave you everything. Exactly.
Fuck them.

Speaker 1 Whatever they do, I'm going to do the opposite.

Speaker 1 If they drink coffee hot, I will drink it cold.

Speaker 1 If they smoke cigarettes, I'll smoke a vape. You know, they just, if they think that people are just boys and girls, I'll show, I'll show them.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of that going on.

Speaker 1 But you know, I mean, Trump says there's only two sexes. You know that it's more complicated than that, right?

Speaker 4 There's very small percentages. But it's still existing.

Speaker 1 There are people.

Speaker 4 Very small percentage. Okay, so it's been blown way out of hand.
You will

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 1 I agree with that.

Speaker 1 And they hate me for saying that, but absolutely some of it is social contagion. I mean, when I did a...

Speaker 4 Everything's social contagion.

Speaker 1 Well, but certainly at that age, you're so susceptible to any fucking suggestion.

Speaker 1 I compared it to entrapment in the sense that when you get caught for entrapment, it means that you wouldn't have thought of committing this crime.

Speaker 1 The FBI had to come in and say, hey, wouldn't it be great if we blew up the Sears Tower? I mean, those assholes, am I right? I think I can get you a lot of explosives.

Speaker 1 And if you say that to like people who have nothing going on, like want to blow some shit up, they might go, hey, that's a pretty good idea. Okay, that's entrapment.

Speaker 1 It's a little of the same if you're constantly talking to kids. about the idea that you might not be in the right body, which is true, you might not,

Speaker 1 but to have been doing you didn't get a choice motherfucker that's the body you were born in yes but but there but there is there are people whose mind is so oriented the other way that it does make sense for them i think but not a child to decide this thank you i mean children i mean the idea that i would have had to deal with that idea even i could barely deal with what i was dealing with which was at first i want girls so badly and I'm too shy.

Speaker 1 How's this going to fit in there? Oh,

Speaker 1 that was not what I was worried about. It was just, I want girls and I'm too shy to talk to them.
That's a terrible prison to be.

Speaker 4 I'm still like that.

Speaker 1 That's a ridiculous. What the fuck are you talking about? You're still, you're shy with girls.

Speaker 4 Well, I will show off

Speaker 4 fucking.

Speaker 4 whatever I have to do to make sure that girl that I'm have my eye on wants to talk to me, I'm fucking, yeah, I will not go up to a girl and say, Hi, my name is.

Speaker 1 Bob, how are you? You don't have to. You're famous.
That's probably why.

Speaker 4 That's probably the fucking whole reason why.

Speaker 1 Everybody, all of it.

Speaker 4 It solves all comes back to pussy. I wish I had some shoes made out of that shit.
I mean, it don't ever get old. You can't wear it out.

Speaker 1 You know what the greatest opening line to a girl is?

Speaker 1 Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 she she said to you, hi,

Speaker 1 Kid Rock, I love you. And your line is, I love you too.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, I just jump right in. I love you too.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're single now.

Speaker 4 I am single.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know that. Last time we talked, you were with somebody.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm sorry that here on Valentine's Day,

Speaker 1 I'm sure you won't be alone for long. Oh, it's tough, Bill.
It's not tough for you. It's tough in general.

Speaker 1 It's not tough for a rich, famous person.

Speaker 4 I heard it said once I can have every girl I don't want.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of that too. Yes.
Just because a lot of people want you doesn't mean you find them attractive. That is true.
And certainly beautiful women know that more than anybody.

Speaker 1 Many beautiful women are like, you know, alone here on Valentine's Day.

Speaker 4 I had a good one with Elon at the fight.

Speaker 1 A good relationship?

Speaker 4 No, we're just talking. Like, I don't don't know him that well.
You know, we text a little bit here and there, but like, we're talking.

Speaker 4 And I don't think I don't like to speak out of school, but I don't think this is speaking out of school.

Speaker 4 It's like, we're sitting there and like, now we're just, you know, three, four hours into the UFC fight, we're hanging out.

Speaker 1 And like, these ring girls are walking around at Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, and I've been noticing this all night. I'm like,

Speaker 4 these, these girls are not that hot.

Speaker 4 And he's like, he gives me this stare and he's like, hot women are very scarce.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, ooh, he's kind of right.

Speaker 1 I look at him a little bit longer and I'm like,

Speaker 4 so are cool dudes with shit tons of money.

Speaker 1 And we had a good laugh off that for a while.

Speaker 1 Well, I think Elon probably is there's certainly physically hot

Speaker 1 rare. What's hot to you?

Speaker 4 What's hot in the mainstream? What's

Speaker 1 there are what's amazing to me is that there are so many different variations of gorgeous in the world there's a lot i mean yes is it is it the majority no but i mean there's

Speaker 1 how many adult women in the world three billion um even if it was like uh 10 million that's a lot of hot chicks you know who are like spread across the world well i mean we're talking about we're talking about you know

Speaker 1 super gorgeous, like arrestingly beautiful. And then like just plain beautiful is pretty good, too.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of variations on

Speaker 1 why do you think we have so much trouble being committed people? Because men,

Speaker 1 it is a constant siren call. And unless you are tied to the mast, like Odysseus, it's hard to not answer that call, especially for you.

Speaker 4 Comedians. Maybe when I was younger, it's not hard anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. But because

Speaker 1 I'm guessing your priorities have changed. Absolutely.
I mean,

Speaker 1 you don't want to be blown on the tour bus. You're at Toys R Us.

Speaker 1 It's in that era. Figuratively, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 4 It's actually true.

Speaker 1 It's in your song. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 4 Nowadays, I spend more time at Toys R Us.

Speaker 1 Which is totally fucking true.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 Trust me, rather than picking up a hot shake, I'm more worried about what I'm going to get my granddaughter for Christmas.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, you can do both, you know.
I'm sure you,

Speaker 1 you know, we'll go over to Houlihan's later. It's Valentine's Day.
We'll get the losers. What's Julihan? Says Strip Club? No, I just made it up.

Speaker 1 Some dive Irish bar I'm picturing with.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'll walk into a dive Irish bar and every girl in there will think I'm fucking Elvis.

Speaker 1 Yes. Was that so terrible?

Speaker 4 No complaints here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I will not say who this is, but a friend of mine who is

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 close, not quite my age, but in that era. And we were talking somewhat recently and he's single, he was married, and he's, and he's like, said, you would not believe it.

Speaker 1 I'm getting a lot of iconic pussy.

Speaker 1 Like girls that come up to me and say, you're iconic.

Speaker 1 But wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. That is the universe just keeps giving.
Iconic pussy. And I think you could get a lot of iconic pussy.

Speaker 1 You're iconic.

Speaker 1 Now, you got to find a girl who knows that word.

Speaker 4 Not all of them. Try to figure out what it means.

Speaker 1 Iconic? You know what it means.

Speaker 1 But I would guess that Elon needs a woman who's very smart, wouldn't you think? I mean,

Speaker 1 he's kind of a brainiac and all that, don't you think?

Speaker 4 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Really? No.

Speaker 1 Elon?

Speaker 4 Most dumb guys like us are like,

Speaker 4 she looks

Speaker 4 really smart.

Speaker 4 She looks super smart.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 tits are for kids.

Speaker 4 We should hang out sometime because we're probably not chasing the same pussy. We're not.

Speaker 4 Bingo, see, that's why we're friends.

Speaker 4 We just broke through.

Speaker 1 Break on through to the other side. I'm not chasing pussy at all, Bob.
I'm looking for a a meaningful relationship. You disgust me.

Speaker 1 You're lucky I don't hit your.

Speaker 1 You're looking for a meeting.

Speaker 1 No, but I don't think Elon is like us at all.

Speaker 1 I think Elon Musk needs a woman who... I read once in an interview he did in some magazine, and he said, I can't really be happy or like good at my work unless I'm in love.

Speaker 1 And at the time, he was with Amber Heard.

Speaker 1 That may slightly

Speaker 1 load the issue of this point I'm making. But yeah, he was.
He was with Amber Heard. I forgot that.
Did you know that?

Speaker 4 I knew he'd banged her or something, but.

Speaker 1 No, they were together for a while.

Speaker 1 Then she shit on his computer.

Speaker 4 That was hilarious.

Speaker 4 Fucking God bless Johnny Dell.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 He he for standing up and fighting

Speaker 4 for standing up and fighting because you know what? There's a lot of women that are misfucking misfucking treated. That's a fact.
Yes. And then you got these other fucking bitches

Speaker 4 who fucking shake down fucking men or attempt to shake down men, scare the fuck out of them.

Speaker 4 And you're like, wait a minute.

Speaker 4 You're like, this is fucked up.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say it was a shakedown. What I would say is this.
Women have...

Speaker 1 an idea a lot, I think, that I would call romantic justice. Now, there's a term we have, poetic justice.
Poetic justice.

Speaker 4 I believe in romantic justice to a

Speaker 4 T.

Speaker 1 You don't know how I'm defining it. Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 You're clever,

Speaker 4 you want me to explain it to you?

Speaker 4 Well, that's exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, tell me.

Speaker 4 Romantic justice is if a woman spends the best years of her life with you and you're having sex with this, that, and the other, that you should take care of her at some level.

Speaker 1 Well, that's maybe part of it. No, my idea of romantic justice is...
I didn't come close. No, no, well...

Speaker 1 Well, I'll tell you what it is. Poetic justice is a term we use for when justice is served, but not exactly

Speaker 1 for what the crime was. Like O.J.
Simpson. Okay, he didn't go to jail for killing his ex-wife.
He went to jail for some other crime. And people said, well, that's poetic justice.

Speaker 1 Women have kind of the same idea about if a guy hurts me and legitimately does, I don't mean necessarily like beats you or something, although we don't know what exactly happened, but I don't think that happened.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 maybe it did, we don't know. But if he hurts you in any way, even if it's just by abandoning you, leaving you, promising you, and then not coming through, whatever it was,

Speaker 1 it is well within your rights to then make up any shit you want.

Speaker 1 Because he's not going to get punished for what he really did, but it's okay if we punish him for this thing that I'm going to make up, and that's the poetic joke. 1,000%.
That's romantic. 1,000%.

Speaker 4 Yes, okay. We are in agreeance over 1,000%.

Speaker 1 Well, we're in agreement. There is no such word as agreeance, and that was found out by Fred Durst when you were at the ground.

Speaker 4 I didn't go to no college, Bill.

Speaker 4 Anyone call you Billy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, as a kid. Oh, yeah, everybody.

Speaker 4 My brother's Billy. My dad's Bill.
My brother, Billy,

Speaker 4 liked to smoke funny cigarettes. So like my dad, Bill, was a staunch Catholic and a very conservative Republican.

Speaker 4 So, I didn't want to be disrespectful, but I'd rather call you Billy.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy. There are people who still Joey Seinfeld still calls me Billy.
Oh, is that a name?

Speaker 4 There are, you know, Paul McCartney told me it's not cool to drop names.

Speaker 1 It was just, he's the only, like, that's the only one I can think of who does it.

Speaker 4 My sister, sometimes, but Jane Gretzky calls me Robert.

Speaker 1 So, it was your brother is Bill. So it was

Speaker 1 Billy and Bobby.

Speaker 4 So two Midwestern boys, Billy and Bobby.

Speaker 1 Billy and Bob. Together you make one full redneck.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And that, and then a sister, you said? Two sisters. Two sisters.
So four of you. Four of us.
So you were, I didn't know you were Catholic. I was raised Catholic.

Speaker 4 I heard you say that. I always thought you were Jewish in the early days.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you're a racist pig. But no.

Speaker 1 But I.

Speaker 4 i'm not a pig

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 okay good um but like what did you think of catholic being brought up a catholic

Speaker 4 boring loved it it's boring loved it i've been going to church recently and i found a good baptist church by me where they got music like i want to go worship your music you know what i mean everything's better with the soundtrack that's why you're making this gossip album this gospel album i've been into gospel for a long time

Speaker 4 I love it. Some of the good songs.
Tom T. Hall meets.

Speaker 1 Elvis made a gospel album. A lot of people made gospel albums.
You know that? Yeah, of course. What was the name of it?

Speaker 4 What, Elvis's gospel album?

Speaker 1 Yes. He made more than one.

Speaker 1 One main one,

Speaker 1 How Great Thou Art, is this title.

Speaker 4 I guarantee I got one of the songs on here from it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'll see.
How Great Thou Art.

Speaker 1 But doesn't it kind of limit you lyrically? Because

Speaker 1 it's always kind of about.

Speaker 4 I just wrote a song, Cubboys called Halfway to Jesus.

Speaker 4 Because I'm halfway to Jesus.

Speaker 4 I can feel love between us. The book of John, eternal light.
No, eternal light, the book of John. Yahweh keeps us moving on.
Because I'm half, halfway to Jesus. Lord, you know I've made mistakes.

Speaker 4 I was lost in a sea of snakes. These days I spend my time trying to make things right.
No more running blind. I finally see the light, and I'm half

Speaker 4 halfway to Jesus. You still got that little motherfucker over here going, like, hey, don't you want to party and hang out with bitches?

Speaker 4 You're like, hey, man, go to Toys R Us, get something for your granddaughter.

Speaker 1 What would Jesus have against hanging out with bitches? I don't understand. Hanging out with prostitutes.
I don't understand why that's a contradiction. It's not.

Speaker 1 No, but you said he's on your shoulder.

Speaker 4 No, I'm talking about the devil.

Speaker 1 But the devil in Jesus. But what is devilish about hanging out with girls?

Speaker 4 Well, it could be devilish depending on what terms you're hanging out with them on.

Speaker 1 Well, we're not going to be hanging out with underage girls and we're not going to be doing anything untoward with them. We're gentlemen, right?

Speaker 4 Absolutely. I've never heard of...
Still, like, if you have a couple girls

Speaker 4 and you like them both, and you're in a single situation, you're an adult.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, and you're very upfront, like, hey, I'm not, I'm not ready for a committed relationship, this, that, and the other.

Speaker 1 I can't believe you're still working.

Speaker 4 And you're in a, you're in a position that we are, we have money, there's a celebrity component involved, this, that, and the other. Like, somebody's going to be hurt.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hurt folks.

Speaker 1 I disagree. Not, not.

Speaker 4 I mean, you think if you explain it up front, everything's fine.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Honesty solves.

Speaker 4 So that's someone else's problem. You don't have any empathy for their feelings?

Speaker 1 What, what, what?

Speaker 1 first of all I'm 70 there's no future in me as like a husband and father. I come pre-advertised.
Fuck. I'm lucky if we make it to the 70s.

Speaker 4 Did you feel that way when you were 50?

Speaker 1 No, but I'm not. Oh, right.
You are. Right.

Speaker 8 Looking for a little advice, Billy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're right. That's different for you because you are still, you still could be made into what I could not possibly be made into.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've said to girls literally word for word, if I got you pregnant tomorrow, I'd be 82 when the kid got into the middle.

Speaker 4 First thing I did when I became single after this last relationship was fucking schnip.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Absolutely. How could you do that to yourself?

Speaker 4 It's fucking actually hilarious.

Speaker 4 The process of doing, do you want to hear about my vasectomy? I do. Absolutely.
This would be good podcasting.

Speaker 4 Good book right so i'm like i'm like i'm like this is a whole new world i'm like i didn't expect to be here but i'm here and i'm like

Speaker 4 you know shit's happening i'm like all right i gotta get these things cut off or whatever they do so well they're not cutting your balls off no i i understand that now but i've never really looked into it like you know and you still did it without looking into it no no i looked into it i did the fucking

Speaker 4 research talked to some guys and done it this thing and everybody's funny so like so like the lead up to it is kind of like the scary part, right?

Speaker 4 Like, you know, all the shit they prepped before, and this, that, and the other. I'm like, hey, I need to get that thing, you know, snipped or whatever they do.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 who did you talk to for me?

Speaker 4 I talked to a concierge doctor in Nashville, and she hooked me up.

Speaker 1 But you said you talked to some guys who already

Speaker 4 said it didn't hurt, it was this, that, and the other, blah, blah, blah. You know, I didn't know that, you know, I'm under the impression, like, they just cut your nuts off.

Speaker 4 Like, no, no, no, they just cut a little thing in there, like, this, that, and there.

Speaker 1 So you talked to some ball with somebody. So wait, wait, I go.

Speaker 4 So finally, it's day to do it. And and i'm like

Speaker 4 gotta go through with it like in there like

Speaker 4 so sitting there with

Speaker 4 do you know the worst part about it the worst part of all what

Speaker 4 they're cutting your no it's another dude washing your balls getting ready for surgery there's a dude down there like it's gonna be a little uncomfortable now here's the up part bill that i can't believe i'm gonna admit this on whatever we're on

Speaker 1 is uh

Speaker 4 is it you're like sitting there and there's a dude washing your balls. Now think about this.
Someone starts scratching your back and you don't know who it is. Feels good.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, fucking baseball. Who hit the most hum runs in history?

Speaker 4 I'm like, if I fucking pop a boner right now, am I gay?

Speaker 4 Like, this is fucked up. And then like the doctors are, by the way, you know what the doctor's name was? Not making this up.

Speaker 4 Dr. Johnson.

Speaker 1 No shit.

Speaker 4 So I'm already having a good laugh in there. Now I'm at a table.
He comes in like, shit's, Bertie, he's like, what type of music you want to listen to? I'm like,

Speaker 4 anything keeps you calm?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Motherfucker puts on Metallica. I'm like, ah, he's pretty funny.
He's pretty funny. Like, all right.

Speaker 4 So we're having a little banter back and forth. You can't feel nutting.
You're numbed up. And like, smoke's flying.
out by your nuts and shit. And you're like, what?

Speaker 4 Yeah, like they're soldering it or doing something where they like do something.

Speaker 4 And like this sentinel, he's like,

Speaker 4 he's like, he's like, now they talk to you, right? You can't, you have to like ejaculate 20 times and then send in a sample so we know all the sperms out of this terrain. I'm like, 20 times.
I'm like,

Speaker 4 fuck, I got shit to do tomorrow. You just ruined my whole day.

Speaker 1 They don't mean in one day, right?

Speaker 1 I'm joking with the doctor, Bill. Come on.

Speaker 4 This is why I'm not a comedian.

Speaker 1 I think it would be funny if

Speaker 1 you feel the person washing your balls and you look down and it's Dylan Mulvaney.

Speaker 4 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 But do you have to?

Speaker 4 And then we have two straws and a Bud Light. We're like,

Speaker 1 I mean, if you did want to do a commercial that would like break the internet, that would be it.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 I actually suggested that when I was talking to Bud Light.

Speaker 1 We didn't have the internet, but man, I can not forget.

Speaker 1 Man, I never will forget.

Speaker 4 Day the moonlight shined upon your hair.

Speaker 1 That's, again,

Speaker 1 you're always bringing me back to

Speaker 1 when I had my first love when I was 16. And, you know, the people say you never forget your first love.
It's so true. And you also never forget when you get dumped by her.

Speaker 1 Because nothing ever hurts as much. Because it's the first one and you didn't see it coming.
And, you know.

Speaker 4 So.

Speaker 1 i'll never forget my first love who was that jenny clayton by the school bus

Speaker 4 my son's mother

Speaker 1 right

Speaker 1 and what happened to that one you were just too young

Speaker 4 i mean a million factors whatever we're friends now you know after a lot of

Speaker 4 hardship and pain and things in between but you know you get older you get wiser and yeah see this could be you and, you and President Trump's story.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 This could be you and President Trump's story.

Speaker 1 We're older, we're wiser.

Speaker 4 We've gone through a lot of things differently in politics, come to a spot where, like, I guarantee you guys could sit down and be like,

Speaker 4 you're like, you would, you would see what I see.

Speaker 4 You would see what I know in this man and be like, I do already. Motherfucker's cool.
And he might, you know, I'm sure he would do this. I do.

Speaker 1 I do already. And I've, I've given him, like, he, there are moments when see why people love him so much and I even like him a lot because do you feel like you ever have to double down

Speaker 4 because of your TV show because of this that and the other

Speaker 1 no no no sir that no

Speaker 1 I say exactly what I really think always I am not ever

Speaker 4 but you got two good things working for you you're very smart you're very

Speaker 4 you stay informed and you have comedy on your side yeah it's kind of what I do in music which is probably why you like what I do a little bit.

Speaker 1 You're like, I can say something poignant, something maybe you don't agree with, you like, but you're like, it brings me back over here.

Speaker 1 I still love the song, even if I don't love the lyrics. But the lyrics are always clever.
Even if I don't agree with them, I get it. And I can appreciate the artistry.

Speaker 1 And again, I don't live my life by song lyrics.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't listen to Daydream Believer and say, oh, I could fly beneath the wings of a bluebird as she sings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4 You're also telling me at the same time that a lot of my songs spark nostalgia and you make you feel a certain way.

Speaker 1 So there's a double-edged sword there. Well, that's the best thing you can do is, you know, hit that chord in people.
And, you know, that's why music

Speaker 1 will always be.

Speaker 4 There'd be nothing on earth without music. Think about it.

Speaker 4 There's nothing that you enjoy without a soundtrack.

Speaker 1 There would definitely be things on earth without music, but they wouldn't.

Speaker 1 Believe me, if they took away my music,

Speaker 1 but it's still not ahead of like food.

Speaker 4 If they just did the voice of God and said, ladies and gentlemen, Bill Maher and you didn't have Green Day's bump, bump, bump, bad and bump, bump, playing.

Speaker 4 Music, anything you can think of, there's music. Anything.

Speaker 1 Actually, Kid and Play wrote that song, Kid from Kidd and Play. Green Day redid it, but yeah,

Speaker 1 it's a great song. Yeah.
Was that like the boom?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Kidd and Play.

Speaker 4 Really? Oh. I used to wear my hair like.

Speaker 1 I should get you two guys together, Kid and Kid Rock. I mean, he's one of my best friends.
Really?

Speaker 4 That's his name, Christopher?

Speaker 1 Christopher Reed. Yeah.
Oh, I love that. I love them when I was young.

Speaker 4 You know who their producer was? It was Herbie Lovebug. I will arrive.
Also did Salt and Pepper.

Speaker 1 I will arrange.

Speaker 4 I still hang out with when I see Pepper, you know.

Speaker 1 Will you tell me next time you're in L.A.?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I remember the last time.

Speaker 4 When are you going to come see me in Nashville?

Speaker 1 When are you going to come see me?

Speaker 4 In the middle of the country, Bill. Not just go do a show.
I just got to.

Speaker 4 You need to to my farm in Alabama and hang out. You always kind of tease Alabama a little bit.

Speaker 1 Bad timing because after 42 years, I just got off the road. I'm not doing stand-up on the road.

Speaker 4 Oh, I bet you got a big old jet.

Speaker 1 I used to travel by that. I know you came in on yours.
And, you know.

Speaker 4 You know what's different between mine and your jet?

Speaker 1 You own yours.

Speaker 4 Mine has middle fingers on the tail.

Speaker 1 Really? Yes. Oh, okay.
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 4 American badass with two middle fingers. Nothing to see here, folks, when we fly in.

Speaker 1 But when you're giving the finger to like just anybody,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 4 I actually worried about it a little bit when I decided I'm like, ah, fuck it, put middle fingers on.

Speaker 4 I was like, I actually

Speaker 4 have a conscience where I don't want to offend children and shit like this.

Speaker 4 I actually think about this stuff. And with my shows, I'm like, if you brought your kid to the show, that's fucking up to you.
Like, I'm doing my show.

Speaker 4 But when I fly into any airport, Bill, everybody's smiling.

Speaker 1 I'll bet. They're doing this.
They're having a good laugh. And I'm like,

Speaker 4 fuck, I feel like I'm doing the work of God at that point because I'm putting a smile on people's faces.

Speaker 1 The only thing I have about it is that it is so indistinct. It's like, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but Moliere once said, to honor all men is to honor none.

Speaker 1 And I feel like to give the finger to just anybody is to sort of dilute what the finger is is for. It's like, who are you mad at? Shouldn't we do that with everything?

Speaker 4 What? Shouldn't we do that with everything?

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's why I had the thing made of you as Chico there because you're...

Speaker 4 I see my hat on the dog.

Speaker 1 I know, because you're. I'm just your boy.
I'm like, is that my hat from Rolling Stone?

Speaker 1 That's you, because

Speaker 1 with the cigar, because you're Chico barking at nothing in the driveway, just barking.

Speaker 1 Not at anything but just.

Speaker 4 You might have a few people that disagree with that.

Speaker 1 No, I feel like you've mellowed.

Speaker 4 I barked pretty hard the last eight years and Donald Trump's president.

Speaker 1 So are we going to get a, after the gospel album, are we going to get another

Speaker 1 Bob Seeger album?

Speaker 4 No, I have 25 songs now

Speaker 4 that I've got to put out. I've always had this idea, and I guess I'll let it out of the box.
25.

Speaker 1 That's like a double.

Speaker 4 So I've always wanted to do a triple album called Kid MF Rock. Like picture a piece of vinyl opening up, right? Kid motherfucking rock.
The kids, a collection of more country Americana songs.

Speaker 4 The motherfucking is like my hardcore hip-hop shit, and the rock is like these rock tunes. And all new.
And just the last, yeah, just the last few years, you know,

Speaker 4 I put these together.

Speaker 4 I just love to go to the studio and write and record. And

Speaker 4 I dare say I've gotten better over it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the last person who I can think of who put out a triple album was George Harrison.

Speaker 4 He put out a triple album?

Speaker 1 Yes, when the Beatles broke up, he fell.

Speaker 4 I love love George Harrison. What? I love George Harrison.

Speaker 4 Love your son, Danny.

Speaker 1 Well, apparently you don't really love him that much since you don't even know about his album.

Speaker 4 I didn't say I knew all his music.

Speaker 1 It's most famous album.

Speaker 4 Didn't he write Here Comes a Son?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Of course. Why don't we start there?

Speaker 1 That was with the Beatles. That's on Abbey Road.

Speaker 4 But he felt when he was with My Guitar Gently Weeps?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's on.

Speaker 4 The Prince absolutely fucking kissed him. Yes, he did.

Speaker 4 I was there too. I remember.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was the rock and hush yeah

Speaker 1 and you know prince had never heard of that song they sent it to him and they said George Harrison's being inducted would you do that and you know he it wasn't like he had always lived with that song he he heard it and he obviously responded to it he did that amazing solo incredible I do remember that incredible and I remember sitting there tonight and I'm all fucked up and uh

Speaker 4 somebody leans over to me. But when George said Prince is having an after party, Prince sitting right here next to me, like where you are, basically.
And we're sitting at this table.

Speaker 4 Like, Prince is having an after-party.

Speaker 4 And he wants to know if you want to come over and maybe play or something.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm like,

Speaker 4 well, the motherfucker's sitting right there. Tell him to lean over and ask me.

Speaker 4 Well, that's... I didn't get invited.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 But that's him.

Speaker 1 I certainly didn't know him well, but I do remember being around him a few times. Prince was a man of very few words.
I also knew some women who may have known him.

Speaker 4 I knew a couple of them women too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We might know.

Speaker 1 We all know some women who knew Prince. But he was a man of few words, often none.
He just, so I, that, normally I would have the same reaction you had.

Speaker 1 Like.

Speaker 4 But I told you, I was just fucked up and young and like height of my shit, like being a little cocky, you know, piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like,

Speaker 1 motherfucker's right there.

Speaker 4 Tell him to lean over and ask me.

Speaker 4 Like, yeah, he's not inviting you.

Speaker 1 No, I remember. Damn, I kind of wanted to go.
No, I remember when you were like that. I do feel you have mellowed a little.
Absolutely. Yeah, that's...

Speaker 4 You know what you do in life?

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm saying, like, who, who, the kind of music you do at 14 is not going to be the kind of music you do at 34.

Speaker 1 Acts that are successful, at least have a career, learn to grow with their audience.

Speaker 1 You know, you're not, because your audience is also not the audience it was when you first were on the scene because they were probably

Speaker 1 interested in teenage things. And then they become adults and they're not, if you're still doing it.

Speaker 4 I think a lot of musicians fuck up is they got this thing from all their people around them, whatever the case may be, is they're like, how do we get the younger generation into this?

Speaker 4 I'm like, fuck the younger generation. I'm just going to roll with mine into the sunset.
Right.

Speaker 1 And you will pick up some of the younger generation, but it's impossible.

Speaker 4 They're all welcome, but.

Speaker 1 Yes, they're all welcome, and some will get it, but you can't pander to them because the thing they hate the most, that generation, they don't know anything like what we used to learn in school.

Speaker 1 Their mind is blank. But they're very savvy about media.
So what they really hate is when they know you're like purposely marketing to them. That's a big turnoff.

Speaker 4 When I do, I just purposely market to them.

Speaker 1 Not literally.

Speaker 4 They tell me these are why the algorithms and shit don't fuck. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, ask somebody who gives a fuck.
Like, I have zero fucks left in my pocket. Do you fuck tanks on E?

Speaker 1 Does your kid help you

Speaker 1 with stuff like that? Yes. Yeah, I bet he does.

Speaker 4 As a matter of fact, I'm trying to figure a way to give him some of his money. And I'm like, because he's running social media for kraken.

Speaker 4 He's in that. that crypto or whatever that world is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 This and the other and kicking ass at it and like loves his job. I mean, just, I'm like, it clearly skips a generation.
Like,

Speaker 4 just a great family man, great everything.

Speaker 4 My best accomplishment in my life is my son, hands down.

Speaker 1 Oh, hands down.

Speaker 4 And my granddaughter,

Speaker 4 her and my grandson are close second. I mean, but they might even overtake him.
We'll see. But yeah, he's an absolute genius at that stuff.

Speaker 4 Like, I actually hit him this morning about this post of something political. I'm like, should I fuck with people and just put this out? And my son hits me back poignantly.

Speaker 4 He's like, well, that's how you get more views. He's like, he said something to the tune of if you just try to promote something,

Speaker 4 the algorithms don't let it go out as much. But if you put it into a thing where you repost something and then you make a comment on it while you're promoting such said thing, like that works.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, I don't fucking understand any of that shit. No, I don't either.

Speaker 1 But your son sounds like he'd be perfect for

Speaker 1 the Elon Musk geek squad.

Speaker 1 He would. I hear there's an agency where some people still have jobs.
So somebody's got to get in there.

Speaker 4 The problem is Elon can't afford him. He's my son.

Speaker 1 But he's not a Nepo baby because he's not in show business. He's making his own way.

Speaker 4 No, I told him years ago, and he's talented as shit. That motherfucker can sing like the weekend like Michael Jackson.
Really? Yeah, but.

Speaker 4 Just to now that fucking like,

Speaker 4 I don't know what it was in me that like

Speaker 4 there was no quit like i was gonna die on that mountain there was no fucking fallback like don't you want to get an education so you can i'm like nope i'm like i'm a thousand percent in and i'm gonna work my dick off

Speaker 1 yeah i was kind of the same way

Speaker 1 which gave me tremendous anxiety when i was 22, 23, 24, my first years out of college, first starting out in stand-up, because you're nowhere and you've got nothing and no one is saying like you're going to stick with this

Speaker 1 I remember once at the Christmas party I overheard my aunt say did you hear Billy's trying to be a comedian

Speaker 4 at a Christmas party and someone trying to explain to my grandfather that I was a rapper and he's like oh like vanilla ice

Speaker 1 well he knew that

Speaker 1 a lot of grandfathers wouldn't know who vanilla ice is

Speaker 4 There was no avoiding them at that point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess that's true. Well,

Speaker 1 Vanilla Ice was always successful, was he not?

Speaker 4 He was. We're actually, I would consider ourselves friends now.
But back then, when you're trying to get, when I'm like, fuck this and fuck that and suck my dick and fucking blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 And he's like, don't go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 4 and they're like, so you say you're a white rapper. It's like,

Speaker 4 you know, people didn't know enough to go like, if they went like, oh, like the Beastie Boys, you'd be like, yeah, like the Beastie Boys.

Speaker 1 They're going like, oh, like Vanilla Ice, you'd be like, no. Right.

Speaker 1 That's right. They were the big other.
Yeah, they were huge.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they were fucking Led Zeppelin in my day and age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember when it was controversial, just the thought of a white rapper. Like, that was a thing.

Speaker 4 I think I was at the show when they

Speaker 4 I was at all these early hip-hop shows. Just used to get the shit beat out of me.

Speaker 4 I went every time.

Speaker 1 Shit beat out of you for what?

Speaker 1 Just for being a white guy at a rap show?

Speaker 4 Pretty much. Really? Oh, yeah.
Jamatron Street Festival, the Fresh Festivals. And do you think that

Speaker 4 they have some fake gold chain on? Check that chain. Well, I look like an idiot, too.
Like, you know, this little white guy. I'm like, I guess I better get a durag and wear it.
This is cool.

Speaker 4 And hip-hop, and I can spin on my head.

Speaker 1 Did that embitter you, do you think, toward black people?

Speaker 4 no no not at all right not at all i mean fuck i used to go to public enemy shows you know when they're first coming up

Speaker 4 and it was like this pro-militant black shit and i'd be like yeah

Speaker 1 because i love the music right

Speaker 1 just what you said earlier

Speaker 4 it all comes together right yeah i might not agree with the fucking message or might not understand the message me and chuck deer still friends to this day absolutely and look when we take over greenland you and i

Speaker 1 we're gonna go to Greenland. We're going to bring a couple of guitars, and we're going to write a triple album.
That's just my guess.

Speaker 4 I'm down.

Speaker 1 It won't be long. Let me ask you about that.
We mentioned this before.

Speaker 4 And we should get Canada first.

Speaker 1 Greenland, Canada, Gaza, Panama. This new thing where we're like an empire again, we're like, we're just taking over places.
You're cool and down with that?

Speaker 4 We're not taking over places. Well, he said.

Speaker 1 He said his exact words, I will own Gaza.

Speaker 4 You know, he said, I will.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did, but he says a lot of things. I'll give it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 But, I mean, are we going to put some context?

Speaker 4 Are we going to put some context to that or not?

Speaker 1 On the show last week, that's exactly what I did. Okay, do you like people who talk, writle, and like, do you want a filtered president?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no, no, sits there and reads everything off a teleprompter, or do you want this guy once in a while

Speaker 4 who says things that sat in the other?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's a happy medium.

Speaker 4 You understand what he means.

Speaker 1 There's a happy medium between you're right, being so pre-practiced that everything is off a telepropter, and also being a living brain fart, that everything that comes out of it.

Speaker 1 It's not a living brain fart.

Speaker 1 I mean, oh, my God, I've been at lunch with eight women.

Speaker 4 This guy's clearly smart enough to be president of the United States fucking twice.

Speaker 1 You're right. Who's the brain fart?

Speaker 4 Well, it's the liberals have farted fucking for years on their own brains over and over again. And, you know, the definition of insanity.
We don't need to explain it. This, that, and the other fuck.

Speaker 1 And they won't get off it.

Speaker 4 It's like, so you might as well start practicing right now, President J.D. fans.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 That would be, in my view, the best outcome because, well, maybe not the best, depends, I know the Democrats run, but because the other outcome is Trump does run for a third term because

Speaker 1 they've already, I've seen this before. It's not going to happen.
Bob, I've seen this before.

Speaker 4 Now, you said in the first time, I watched a show religiously. Even sometimes I don't agree.

Speaker 4 i watch a lot of different things but i really enjoy your show good actually and and not just you know i'm glad so you're blowing but i'm like

Speaker 4 he's gonna try and contest the election well of course he did because of the covet bullshit and all the that was going on

Speaker 4 and now you're gonna go down this rabbit hole again saying like he's gonna run for a third term he's not pootin' i i okay i i i mean i've heard covet mentioned mentioned in relation to the election.

Speaker 1 I've never heard this like, it seems to be coalescing into this theory where like, oh, COVID election rigged. You fucked everything up.
I mean, obviously.

Speaker 4 Fucking businesses.

Speaker 1 You lost it in liberal cities like LA and Chicago and shit.

Speaker 4 National.

Speaker 1 What does that have to do with the rigged election that you lost?

Speaker 4 No, I'm just saying it was fucking very confusing. The way to fucking get people to think a certain way is confuse the fuck out of them.

Speaker 1 Darling, I suffered. Stop with me, darling.

Speaker 1 I got more shit than anybody for speaking out, again, as the liberal against the liberal point of view.

Speaker 4 I got a lot of shit.

Speaker 1 But you're not a liberal. So I took it from that side about my stance on COVID, which was much closer to your stance.
I'm guessing. I did think they overreacted hugely.
And I want the

Speaker 1 right to say what vaccine I want to get without being forced to get one.

Speaker 1 And I will always be resentful that they made me get one so that I, and if I didn't, I wouldn't not be able to continue my life.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't have been allowed near my studio or to go on the road I was in Nashville during that period to do a show

Speaker 4 I got the vaccine because my dad had cancer at the time and I wanted to see my dad during you know this this and if I'm like I'm like you know the shit I put in my body I'm like fucking hit me

Speaker 1 well the vac you know I'm I hope your dad is okay

Speaker 4 he passed on but thank you well I'll tell you what

Speaker 4 I'll tell you what a fucking guy Trump is and what a friend he is.

Speaker 4 During my dad was in hospice during the day, he called me all the time to check, how's your father? Just out of the blue. This guy called me four times during the inauguration just to talk.

Speaker 4 Maybe because I don't drill him with policy all the time, this and the other.

Speaker 4 We've developed this friendship.

Speaker 1 Like, fuck this, fuck that.

Speaker 4 Like, how's it going? Like, I mean, I can't tell you what a tremendous. Yeah.
Fucking friend this man has been.

Speaker 1 Not him, but his whole family.

Speaker 4 Like, people like,

Speaker 1 i just can't tell you enough bill like i it's not the first time i've heard stories about the humanity of donald trump i know to a lot of people

Speaker 1 they're going to hear that and they're going to be like oh my god but yes on i i've never heard actually anything different than when you meet him personally he's a different guy

Speaker 4 after i did your show the first time years ago you don't remember we've talked let me let me just interject one second like politically incorrect yeah yeah i was not a big star yet i was on my ascension

Speaker 4 someone talked your people into you. You didn't know me.
And I went on that show and I never forgot it. And we talked about this last time.

Speaker 4 We went and had dinner and met Bill Clinton with Gregory Peck and these people.

Speaker 4 And then I started watching years later with your new show now. And I'm like, I hate this motherfucker.

Speaker 4 Honest to God, I'm like, I'm like, this little ugly motherfucker, fucking beady-eyed, fucking goddamn Jew. And then I find out you're Catholic.

Speaker 4 I'm like, God damn, I don't even know what I'm talking about. I kept watching because it was like one of those train wrecks you can't turn off.
And I'm like, the synod is in, you know, I'm like,

Speaker 1 and I'm like, man, you know what?

Speaker 4 This motherfucker is kind of like me in a lot of ways. Like, he's real.

Speaker 1 I might not agree with him. Right.

Speaker 4 Don't agree with him, but he's fucking real. And I'm like, and now look at us sitting here

Speaker 4 talking like, would you consider me a friend at this point?

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 I would consider you one, too.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And And I know this.

Speaker 4 Imagine if this can happen between you and President Trump, right? When you want to set a precedent for people coming together, bringing this country together.

Speaker 4 You guys sit down and be like, it's not like you did this, this, and just have a conversation.

Speaker 1 Okay, but Bob, it is a little different because we're friends who don't have that kind of power. He has a lot of power about how things actually are done in this country.

Speaker 4 You might be able to influence that by being a friend of his. I would love that.
You don't have to go suck his dick.

Speaker 1 I won't.

Speaker 1 No, I know you won't.

Speaker 4 But I guarantee. And by the way, you guys doing that could set a huge precedent for the world.

Speaker 1 Bring me to the White House with you.

Speaker 4 I'll ask him.

Speaker 1 I'll fly to Nashville. We'll go out the night before.

Speaker 4 You'll get on Airfuck One.

Speaker 4 That's my jet.

Speaker 1 I'll fly to Nashville.

Speaker 1 We'll go out the night before and do something completely unpresidential. And then we'll fly to Washington the next day and you'll bring me to meet President Trump.
And then I'll be in Guantanamo Bay.

Speaker 1 We got him. Well, he's here.

Speaker 1 President Trump

Speaker 4 doesn't care if people disagree this, that, and the other.

Speaker 1 Everyone wants to be loved. Let's go that far, Bob.
No, no, no. I remind him all the time.

Speaker 4 I'm like, Mr. Trump.
I'm like, President Trump.

Speaker 4 Don, don't forget.

Speaker 4 Don't forget.

Speaker 4 And Bill,

Speaker 4 you can attest to this.

Speaker 4 A little bit like that E. Gene Carroll thing.
Like, I mean, you don't think that's fucking like, okay, a civil case over something, fucking $200 million.

Speaker 4 And people are like, what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 1 I said on my show,

Speaker 1 first of all, no one knows what happens in these situations. I understand that a jury found him guilty of.

Speaker 4 And New York City.

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 1 Let me finish. I understand that.

Speaker 1 Even for him.

Speaker 1 It sounds weird to me. I also knew her.
She used to do, Eugene Carroll used to do politically incorrect. I found her to be very sane, nice, rational.

Speaker 1 She doesn't seem like the person who would just make this summing it up. But I also think even for him,

Speaker 1 who has been piggish with women, there's no doubt about that.

Speaker 1 But to wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I have not.

Speaker 1 Sure, you have.

Speaker 1 Not really, but okay.

Speaker 1 I've been sexist. I have said sexist things.

Speaker 4 Well, now we're at sexist. Let me keep drilling you a a little bit.
We'll get there.

Speaker 1 I have said sexist things. But everybody was sexist 30 years ago.
Anyway, even for him,

Speaker 1 it just sounds too weird to me. I mean, like, this guy has women all over the place.
Why would he like assault someone in a dressing room? So

Speaker 1 we don't know. That's the thing.
You don't know. I don't know.
None of you people watching who are like, oh, I can't believe it. You don't know either.
Nobody fucking knows. How do you think?

Speaker 1 I did make the point, point, excuse me. I did make the point that Bill Clinton was credibly accused of very much the same thing by more than one woman.
I think two.

Speaker 1 And we need a Broderick and the other one.

Speaker 4 I don't care if presidents are getting pussy.

Speaker 1 Well, getting pussy.

Speaker 4 I want them to run the country.

Speaker 1 I don't either. But sexual assault is different.

Speaker 1 What he is accused of, yeah, getting pussy, Bob, is we, I think, need to agree, and I think you do agree already, is different than what they're doing when forcing yourself.

Speaker 1 You didn't force yourself on anybody in your life, I'm hoping. And I didn't either.
This is forcing yourself on somebody. He, that's what he's accused of.
Clinton.

Speaker 1 20 fucking years before the fact in a civil court.

Speaker 4 I'm saying in New York City, how do you think he'd do an L

Speaker 4 in that jury trial, Bill?

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, Bill Clinton was credibly accused of the same thing.

Speaker 1 And the liberals kind of just whistled past that graveyard. You know, that's what I hate about America right now, the team thing.
Like, if it's our guy, we don't see it.

Speaker 8 I hate it too.

Speaker 1 And I hate that, like, Kamala Harris's husband was credibly accused by the same kind of Me Too standards that we had heard since 2017 in dozens of other cases by a woman who said he did this.

Speaker 1 It sounded like it absolutely could have happened. It wasn't like the worst thing ever that happened, but it was certainly wrong.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, another woman that she talked to at the time, that was always a big thing in the Me Too stories. Well, she talked to somebody else and they corroborate the story and it was contemporaneous.

Speaker 1 And okay, all that. And yet they acted like that never happened.
Like, we don't,

Speaker 1 they did it on Saturday Night Live, you know, Kamala's husband, and he was just dorky dug.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And and like, I hate that. Don't do that to me.
Don't like ignore it or try to get me to not see it because it's your team.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you can tell him I said that, and maybe you'll get the invitation. Well, the bottom line, let's say

Speaker 4 some of this stuff and all of it's true, like whatever. Let's just go with that angle.
Like

Speaker 4 the Trump bang a porn star, Stormy Daniels.

Speaker 1 Well, that did happen. Well, I think.
My opinion just happened. A lot better than banging your fat intern.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, that's just my opinion, but I think that one did happen.

Speaker 4 I mean, if we had to vote on that alone, I'd be like, oh, yeah, Trump.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 1 you can't say it's admirable that a guy was doing it while his home, while his wife was home nursing their infant. But, you know.

Speaker 4 Lord knows that's the first guy to do that.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 okay, but that doesn't make it right.

Speaker 4 None of this shit's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's kind of a broad brush.

Speaker 4 No, but what I'm talking about is like, who do we want fucking running the country?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 4 I think we can't get good leaders. And this is serious.
I think we can't get good leaders because everyone's going to dig through your fucking past and they're going to find some shit.

Speaker 4 None of us, fuck it. I stand before God as my witness.
I'm a sinner. No question.
At one level, not that fucking bad.

Speaker 1 Right. But you're not a rapist.

Speaker 4 Fuck no.

Speaker 4 But I mean, like, this is why we can't get good leaders. You know, people that run fucking companies that know what they're fucking doing.
No, that's true.

Speaker 4 People are in the fucking streets and know what they're fucking doing.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know why anybody would want to be. Right.

Speaker 4 No one wants to be subject to that. I'm like, wait, we're trying to run the business of America.
This is what first got me into Trump.

Speaker 1 I didn't know him at all.

Speaker 4 And I said it in Rolling Stone. I'm like, oh, fucking let the business guy run it.
America is a business and the business of America is fucked. Last I checked, I'm like, let him do it.

Speaker 1 Well, a government is not just a business. There is a huge difference between business and government.
In fact, they're often

Speaker 1 pitted.

Speaker 1 Government's job first,

Speaker 1 one of government's jobs is to make sure business isn't corrupt.

Speaker 4 That's not the forefront of having a business?

Speaker 1 To not be corrupt? No, businesses try to be corrupt so they can make more money.

Speaker 4 So if you go in there and tell people, hey, we're going to stop the fucking corruption and we're going to do it at every fucking level, you might get some of of it wrong whatever we're gonna go fucking do this business who's done this in our lifetime who's done this

Speaker 1 but business is for profit government is not a yes it is it's to make America fucking profitable stop giving all our fucking hard-earned tax dollars away to everyone well that I agree with we we waste too much money we would agree on that

Speaker 1 but government's first primary function the reason why governments first in this world

Speaker 1 became an entity is because people need protection. That's why government.
Thank you. Yes.
Police domestically, armies for foreign invaders. That is government's first function.

Speaker 1 Well, we spend a trillion dollars on defense, so it's not like we're going to go through the fucking military next. We're going to go through the Pentagon.

Speaker 4 Boy, Pete Hagseth is running. He's my fucking neighbor in Nashville.
I've known him for years. Work out.

Speaker 1 Do you know Pete Hagseth?

Speaker 4 Fucking very well.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 4 We used to work out every fucking morning at my house.

Speaker 1 Give him this.

Speaker 1 Just tell him to put it with the others.

Speaker 4 See, you can't fuck with a comedian.

Speaker 1 No, but I mean, Pete did have a drinking problem for a while. Am I right? I mean, you must have seen him in the hedges at some point.

Speaker 4 Never saw him have a drinking problem.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 how well do you know him?

Speaker 4 I first met him at Rob O'Neill's wedding. Okay, I don't know.

Speaker 4 The guy that shot Bin Laden.

Speaker 1 The guy who shot Bin Laden? Yeah, Rob O'Neill. You know who that is?

Speaker 4 That's a very good friend of mine. So he was a son.
He gave me me the sledgehammer that went through Bin Laden's fucking bedroom.

Speaker 4 Really? I gave him the lyrics for Born Free.

Speaker 1 Wait, you have the sledgehammer that they broke into Bin Laden's bedroom with? Yes. Well, I hope you have it in the safe.
That's a pretty valuable.

Speaker 4 I'm actually going to probably put it somewhere eventually. I've been a little selfish with it.
What about the

Speaker 4 museum or maybe my new restaurant?

Speaker 1 Maybe it's Rednecks. I might put it in my new restaurant.
Oh, you got opening a restaurant?

Speaker 4 We're rebranding a restaurant restaurant in Nashville that was an old Detroit establishment called Joe Mears

Speaker 4 as the Detroit Cowboy.

Speaker 1 And what's it going to be called? This? Detroit Cowboy.

Speaker 4 I feel like I've been selfish with some of these things that I have.

Speaker 4 And I don't know if a museum's the right spot or whatever.

Speaker 1 That should be on display. It should.
I mean, it's absolutely.

Speaker 1 It's better than.

Speaker 4 I'm like, you gave me a pick.

Speaker 4 We played the bigger dick game. Like, we'll walk through my house every time a few drinks.
I'm like, if I I write a poignant song,

Speaker 4 even the start of it or whatever, I'll frame those lyrics. I've done this since probably picture, since cowboy, I did it.
And

Speaker 4 because I know they might bring money one day for charity, for something, whatever, whether it's my granddaughter or for charity.

Speaker 4 And we're walking through my house years ago and when I had my house in Michigan, and I'm like, You know what, dude, you should have these.

Speaker 4 Gave them to him.

Speaker 4 And he's like

Speaker 4 i'm giving you something i'm giving you a sledgehammer what you're bin laden's house with i'm like you're gonna give me a piece of american history for that shitty song i'm like i go you want to play the bigger dick game come with me we went out to my car barn and i collect cars detroit i walked out and i'm like pick out any fucking car you want that's bowler and i mean i got some Pretty high dollar shit in there.

Speaker 4 One of the first V16s from 1930 Cabriolet fucking cadillac wow probably 800 grand or something for gt sitting there he's like i got this fucking shitty ass limo from the 1970s that the rye from west coast customs did an incredible job on like made it into some american badass shit it's got logos on it and it's triple black got tvs and smoke suckers in the back rob's like i want that limo i'm like don't take that fucking limo grab something else it's like no i couldn't talk him out of it and it's still sitting in my garage to this day it's his limo But he's going to take it.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 4 Yet to be determined.

Speaker 1 Well, Elvis used to give away Cadillacs, of course.

Speaker 4 I've given away a few cards, but I'm no Elvis. Although Trump calls me Elvis all the time.

Speaker 8 He does?

Speaker 1 Trump calls you Elvis.

Speaker 4 Better than Elvis. And I'm like, he's just pumping me up.

Speaker 1 Wow. He loves your dirty drawers.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, he is emotionally bribable. You got to admit that.
If someone's

Speaker 1 emotionally bribable, if someone likes him or says they like him, whether it's you or Putin or Satan himself.

Speaker 4 Fuck the art of the deal. The art of making people feel good, I think, is more important in life.
You know, it makes me feel good when he says that. I know it's

Speaker 4 I know there's a level of bullshit in this in there. I'm not fucking better than Elvis.
I'd never believe that in a million years. But, you know what I mean? That my friend says that to me.
I agree.

Speaker 4 It makes me feel good when I'm recently, you know, broke up after a long relationship that's sitting there. I'm like, that's a fucking friend.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 No, and I,

Speaker 1 I, and I understand exactly what you're saying about sometimes you know when someone is shining you and you still don't care.

Speaker 4 No, it makes you feel good. Right.

Speaker 1 It's like, at least you love me enough to lie.

Speaker 1 To lie.

Speaker 4 Well, Bill, we prefer to call it in Detroit where I grew up. Bullshit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's bullshit.

Speaker 4 But you know what? Good bullshit is good bullshit. Bad bullshit is fucking horrible.

Speaker 1 I mean, the two times I met him before he was president, long time ago, he was exactly what other people also say about him when they meet him. Charming.

Speaker 4 Name your one president that wasn't charming.

Speaker 1 Oh, Nixon? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not that old, Bill.

Speaker 4 I'm from Jimmy Cargron.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 You have to be charming at some level to be anybody in life.

Speaker 1 You're fucking,

Speaker 4 would you consider yourself charming?

Speaker 1 Totally like super charming. Mic drop.
Bam.

Speaker 1 Like, are you kidding?

Speaker 4 Have a nice night.

Speaker 1 Look up charm in the dictionary and then my picture. No, I mean, look, if you, I'm the kind of charming.
What are you, fucking Charlie Sheen?

Speaker 1 I'm the kind of charming, like, if you like it, you like it big time. And if you don't, then it's obnoxious.
Yeah, I got this.

Speaker 4 I'm basically Hollywood's cryptonite when you break it down.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 4 yeah, I don't want to hang out with Tom Hanks. I want to hang out with Forrest Gump.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? What?

Speaker 4 And, you know, like, you know, when I went on your show tonight, the real time, I'm like,

Speaker 4 we're like, that takes, you know, what you do. I'll give you some props.
Not sucking your dick. I'm tickling your balls a little bit.

Speaker 1 I'm like,

Speaker 4 it takes a certain, you know, thing to be able to go and read those lines and do them and interject and this and the other. It's a real skill.

Speaker 1 I'm not reading lines, except

Speaker 4 teleprompter right in front of you, reading lines.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, talking to my, you know, the shit, this, and they're like, what's wrong with it?

Speaker 4 I'm saying it still takes like.

Speaker 1 But I'm not the model. The only thing I'm reading is the very end of the show, the editorial, which a lot of it I wrote myself.

Speaker 4 Another accolade. I'll fucking bow down to you for that.

Speaker 1 Okay. But the model.

Speaker 4 Because you're in a position where you could have a shit ton of writers writing this.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 And I could not be who or where I am without them. They're brilliant.

Speaker 1 But that last piece I do, which is much more personal and about one subject, and it goes on for eight or nine minutes, that's my baby. They write the monologue jokes.

Speaker 4 At the end of the new role, they write that too.

Speaker 1 I rewrite everything.

Speaker 4 But then you write the last bit.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. That's my baby.

Speaker 4 Very good. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That's what I they write the monologue. I just write bullet points there on the prompter to remember which joke I'm doing.

Speaker 4 That's kind of like what I'm doing with the songs I explained.

Speaker 1 Do you use a prompter when you're on stage for the song? No. You don't? You're one of the most.

Speaker 4 The only times I've used a prompter is like when I have certain guests, like huge stadium shows where I have a ton of featured guests, you know, like big name singers. Might be songs.

Speaker 4 And like, we're going to do those. I'll put them on there for them.
Like I can make a word rhyme with anything.

Speaker 1 Like, even if I fuck it up I can fucking right you're a rapper right exactly amazing because I remember seeing Frank Sinatra I took my mother to see him three years before he died and shortly before my mother died and

Speaker 1 it was the 90s at Radio City Musical and he had seven large screen prompters how old was he he was old

Speaker 1 there you go he's still

Speaker 1 Songs that he hadn't been singing his whole life, he's still fucked up. Like he sang sang Mac the Knife, which is a standard, but he had.

Speaker 4 Mac the Knife was written by

Speaker 4 Bobby Darren.

Speaker 1 Bobby Darren had the hit on it. Bobby Darren

Speaker 1 was shit. Right.
It was Bertov.

Speaker 4 One of my favorite artists ever. Bobby Darren? Bobby Darren.
Listen to songs from the Big Sir. You want to hear some rock and roll after Backer?

Speaker 1 The only one I know is Beyond the Sea.

Speaker 4 Bobby Darren. Ahmed Ertigan used to compare me to Bobby Darren.
He's like, you're my young Elvis or Bobby Darren. Yes.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 4 Oh, I used to roll Baldrum Budrum Turkey with him, like fucking ever. I'm the last chapter.
Have you read? Have you read The Last Sultan?

Speaker 1 No, is that about Amadarga?

Speaker 4 Yes. It's basically

Speaker 4 like, I'm the last chapter, Ball with DeBall and Buddrum Turkey.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know he was a badass dude.

Speaker 4 But I never knew why he used to compare me to Bobby Darren. And then I got a hold of this album, Songs from the Big Sir.
Bobby Darren,

Speaker 1 fucking genius. What kind of songs? Oh, like he's like, Where I born, we ain't got no river flowing through my backyard.

Speaker 4 Bobby Darren's like doing rock and roll, fucking blues, soul music. I mean, it sounds like it was produced in Muscle Shoals, Alabama, or something.
This album is fucking incredible. Just download it.

Speaker 4 Well, everyone's going to download it now that's watching this.

Speaker 1 I mean, I never would have thought that about Bobby Darren.

Speaker 4 Neither, but he even says in one of his songs,

Speaker 4 you know, he had split splash. I was taking batteries.
He's like,

Speaker 1 and the cash from the splash had me feeling like a one-record record flash.

Speaker 4 So he went off and did his own thing. You know, it was never big, this, that, and the other.
But it's, he does one of the first rap songs you've ever heard. Me and Mr.

Speaker 4 Horner sitting on the corner, not doing nothing to no one. When a squad car stops and outjunk cops, you're one of them.
If I ever saw one,

Speaker 4 what line does he say? That song, he says, he says,

Speaker 4 he says,

Speaker 4 you're a draft card Dodger if I saw one.

Speaker 4 I can tell by your your looks that you read too many books about wars, and that's because you ain't been in one.

Speaker 4 And he's rapping this shit like

Speaker 4 60, late 60s. Yes.
Early 60s. Late 60s, I think.

Speaker 1 I don't remember. I mean, he was me and Mr.

Speaker 4 Horror at the post.

Speaker 1 He was either dead.

Speaker 4 Didn't he die young? He died young at like 36, 35. Okay, six.

Speaker 1 So he was either dead or not relevant.

Speaker 4 I might have my dates wrong, but I'm fucking wrong overall.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you that. But this is when I started to listen to music in 68 when I was 12.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Bobby Darren was either dead or not relevant.

Speaker 1 He might have been, they might have played like, hey, let's do some golden oldies. And then that's when you heard by the sea.
But he, Bobby Darren.

Speaker 1 Next thing you're going to tell me, Jay and the Americans weren't cool.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 See, I know this whole era that you don't have any clue. You're Gen X.

Speaker 1 Me and me. You're Gen X.
All right, you're playing with your phone.

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm trying to find me and Mr. Horn.

Speaker 1 I could talk to you all night. You know, you're an interesting man.
Yeah, I got a piss too. But I got a piss too, so we should probably wrap it.

Speaker 4 Well, let's go swing swords and

Speaker 1 everybody have fun.

Speaker 4 All right, the tour.

Speaker 1 Let's promote the tour.

Speaker 1 The three tours. There's the arena tours.

Speaker 4 I'm doing doing seven arena shows okay celebrating like what cities are we talking about

Speaker 4 like oklahoma kansas city uh milwaukee target center missesota minnesota can't remember which other ones i do the i own a piece these rock the country festivals which we started a festival bill you know what our

Speaker 4 my thing was when they approached me and offered me a percentage of it was like i was like Hey,

Speaker 4 let's do a festival of music for hardworking people who love this country.

Speaker 4 Can you believe no one's done that?

Speaker 4 Well, we were profitable our first year. And then the rock and rodeo, and I do a comedy, American Badass Comedy Jam in Nashville during Comedy Week, which all goes to charity.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not like other concerts aren't actively against hardworking people

Speaker 1 who love their country. I just say on the poster, don't come unless you're a pink Okami.

Speaker 4 I tell people all the time, don't come to our festival. Like, if you think men should be in women's sports, I'm fucking sitting there and I'm like, don't come.
You're not going to have a good time.

Speaker 1 I would love to see you. I said this to you on the show tonight and I was serious.
People may think I was joking.

Speaker 1 I would love to see you because I do love the music, but I'm not going to a Trump rally. And I've seen you with the flag and the thing and the Trump and like, you know, they'll fucking kill me.

Speaker 1 And I won't feel like.

Speaker 4 Why not? I watch your show every week.

Speaker 1 I know, but that's different than being in the crowd.

Speaker 4 You're sitting there, motherfucking Trump every week. Sitting there, I'm like, well,

Speaker 4 okay, he does that.

Speaker 1 But he makes some

Speaker 1 points. I can get through that.
Maybe after you bring me to the White House, the audience will accept me being in the crowd. But I'm not becoming a Trumper.
I'm telling you this right now. It's okay.

Speaker 4 Why would you set that?

Speaker 4 Why would you put that boundary?

Speaker 1 Okay, so I will become a Trumper if he admits he lost the 2020 election. I'm sorry, I can't give it.

Speaker 4 Why does it have to be stipulations?

Speaker 1 Because that's important. Because that's the key to the country, is the peaceful transference of power.

Speaker 1 It's non-negotiable.

Speaker 4 But the peaceful transfer of power happened.

Speaker 4 He gave Joe Biden the keys. He did.

Speaker 4 He did. Even though he contested it, he gave him the keys.

Speaker 1 He did because the Monteneri family on the West Coast guaranteed his safety. You want to talk business? Let's talk business.
Let's do it.

Speaker 1 I got a pee.

Speaker 4 I got a pee too.

Speaker 1 Is there only one bathroom down here? Yes, and you're going to take it. I'll go somewhere else.

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