Mike Tyson | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Okay folks, we are digging into the vault and pulling out some of our favorite episodes from the last four years which we're calling Club Random Classics.

What else would we call it?

Starting September 18th, every third Thursday, we're dropping episodes that prove good conversation still exists, occasionally interrupted by profanity or an unexpected life lesson, or, you know, I've OD'd once or twice, but you'll see them all.

We're kicking things off with a singular guest, a man who can talk ancient history with surprising detail, who has first-hand knowledge of farting tigers, who still flies commercial despite global fame.

Can we guess who this is yet?

He's got a big fight coming up, I think, with Floyd Mayweather.

And who you definitely don't want to cross mid-flight, Mike Tyson.

Yes, Mike Tyson.

This episode originally aired May 9th, 2022.

Ah, those Halcyon days.

Well, buckle up and don't forget every third Thursday, we'll release another club random classic.

And you can always dive into the back catalog for more conversations you won't want to miss.

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Mike, I have to ask you the question the whole world wants to know.

Why are you flying on JetBlue?

My wife says the same thing.

And you said it was your favorite airline.

I was just about to ask you, why is it your favorite airline?

It says the same thing.

What are they doing on JetBlue?

you know i love jet blue i just don't know why i got the tongue i mean stevie wonder used to love the holiday inn

the uh no you know you know why why because everything was in the same place

well maybe i just love um jet blue it's comfortable it's comfortable yeah i don't fly in love

that's why

my wife is like

she she wants me she wants me always in a private plane my wife said why don't you just she has the camera she can't fathom it mike sell like one tiger and you could probably just fly whatever airline you want.

And you got rid of the tigers.

You had tigers, though, right?

Yeah, tigers.

Mine's got a bunch of cool goods.

Yeah.

That's wrong.

I don't, I'm an animal lover.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

100%.

100%, but you had tigers in captivity.

That can't be good for the tiger.

No, no.

They weren't in captivity.

They slept in my bed with me.

What are you talking about?

I got 500 pounds in the bed with me, man.

What are you talking about?

So, you said in that case.

Well, I mean, they're not.

I mean, you're right.

You know, I've always thought about animals.

Have you ever smelled a tiger fart?

No.

You got to evacuate.

I would have had a 15,000 square.

I got to evacuate the house.

You got to open up everything.

Close people to blow everything out.

Seriously?

Y'all meant the worst thing about it.

The level of it or the extreme stench of it?

Both.

Both tell you you can't nothing eat.

Well, what were you feeding the tiger that it was farting so badly?

Don't you think

horse meat?

Is that what they eat?

Yeah, they love horse meat in check.

Oh, so you killed horses and kept checking.

Stop.

I never killed a horse in my life.

Well,

where'd you get the meat?

I paid for it, but listen.

Somebody killed it.

Yes, yes.

They're the horses that they send to, what do you call it?

The glue factory?

Glue factory, Factory, yeah, those guys that can't do it anyway.

Mike, where do you stand on horse fighting as a legalized sport?

Horse fighting.

I'm just making it.

Horse fighting.

Just fucking with it.

Horses do fight.

Remember that horse bit the other horses in the air?

He did a Mike Tyson.

I was going to say.

The other horse was winning.

He was mad.

He'd bit in the air and tried to pull him back.

But see, I love this that you love JetBlue because I always thought of you as like the people's champ.

You You know, I mean, when you, first of all, people call you champ and they should, because champ is like, it's like when you're president, they call you president even after you're out of office.

Senator, governor, they always say the guy's out of over 20 years, governor.

And you always will be champ.

But I learned something with my last experience.

I'm on the plane.

I learned I don't belong to me.

Too many people worry.

You just learned that?

Yes.

My right-hand of God.

Mike, you've been famous.

No, but listen, I never know that my actions affect so many people.

They worry.

No, they inspire people, though.

A lot of your actions have inspired people.

But just that fact that people worry.

They see the incident and they just worry.

But Mike, your Broadway show, which I saw on TV,

but I don't live near Broadway.

Fantastic.

And it inspired people.

I like to continue.

You don't know that?

You must know that about your life or else you wouldn't have done that job.

Listen, sometimes that's my selfishness and not ego.

What is your selfishness?

Just wanting to succeed and be happy, but hey, I want to keep myself to me.

That's not selfish.

That's what we all want.

I mean, you have some obligation.

I have to realize that I don't belong to me anymore.

You never did since you were 20 because you were.

But I didn't understand that to now.

Like, when I got into that incident, so many people calling with Willie, and I'm like, oh.

That one douchebag on Jet Blue did that after 30 fucking years of being in the spotlight anyway I just want to tell you you really are when I see people with you because the over the reaction was overwhelmingly in your favor

you are like the people's champ like remember they called Lady Diana the people's princess

you're like her

but with fighting but what am I going to do on a private plane What are you going to do on a private plane?

You got to jerk off if you want to.

I know, but exactly.

But listen, it's only me and people I know.

I'm like one of those guys.

I'm like, I have to be seen.

I have to be around the people.

I don't know.

Oh, is that right?

Yeah, I'm like.

Is he like that?

Yeah.

He's a great documentary.

I can't be

isolated.

Mike, you got to see that HBO did a documentary about Bird

and Magic, like when they were playing against, you know, the 80s.

It's fantastic because they're such opposite personalities, but they came to quite love each other.

Bird's badass, though.

Yes, he is.

And he kept

a serious guy.

He didn't want the spotlight.

Legitimate.

And Magic only wanted the spotlight.

And he talks about when they were in Barcelona at the 92 Olympics, remember the first dream team, basketball team?

And he said, we were in the hotel, we were getting mobbed.

There was a side door you could go out that they told us and no one would bother you.

But Magic didn't want to use the side door.

You know, that's who he was.

And that's great.

But

you're not obligated to do that.

They don't own you.

They own your work because you put it out in public and shared it.

They don't own you.

Your family owns you.

My mind is just,

my mentality is jet blue.

Does that make sense?

And apparently your travel plans also include jet blue.

No, I mean, that's love, Mike.

I have not flown commercial like practically in this century.

The second I can get off.

Of course.

And I used to hide it because I thought, oh, it makes me look terrible with the environment.

You know what?

I always say it, but the kids, they have to care about the environment more than me because it's their planet they're inheriting.

And they don't.

They worship Kylie Jenner, who never does anything but flies on a private plane.

So when Kylie gives up the plane, I'll give up mine.

How about that?

You have a drink?

Do you drink?

Yeah, some water.

Oh my God, you have a bag of

Jesus

how's the business going how's the pot business you love it

hey listen right it gave me a new life you love it yeah yeah I notice you don't keep that lip though

my friends they play football and pass man you're totally the joy yeah

but so how how do you do you go into a an office every day with the pot business do you like are you CEO Mike and you sit at the big desk and you're like, and you and you and you and Jenkins, how does Vice President Jenkins sound?

If we can get quarterly numbers on numbers on, I'm hands-on.

Listen, I don't look at, I am, I don't look at myself as a boardroom guy, but I am

on paper.

But that's not, I have to be with, I have to be in the streets with the people.

That's how I'm effective.

I'm not effective in the room.

Right.

Well, you're away.

And also, it's wasting the great ambassador for the product.

Exactly.

I'm just a street guy.

I like the work.

I'm a worker.

Yes, you are.

And

what do you, like when people say,

what has it done for you?

Like, what is your testimonial?

What is your love letter to marijuana that has made you want to actually be in business with it?

Hey, listen, you know what?

You could just I don't even have to do go through a big discussion about a dissertation.

you can just ask my family am i a better guy with it or without it and they would tell you 100 with it i'm with it oh man you're definitely with it i am like oh i never knew that i'm a moody guy you know i thought i was a great guy and stuff i never knew how moody you didn't know you were famous and you didn't know you were moody well i never mike

well i always knew i was famous but i didn't know that to that effect my selfishness is like i want to love this i want to be into this.

Well,

when you're the heavyweight champion of the world,

even if you're a non-charismatic guy, you're very famous.

But when you're charismatic, like you are, you know, when you have that, you know, X Factor, you could also like, you know, you did your turn in

the hangover.

But, you know,

you could be in movies.

You know, you could fucking do what The Rock does if you wanted to.

Probably do it better.

You know, you got, not that he's not good, but, you know.

And I am going to do that stuff.

We're getting ready to do...

You are?

Oh, yeah, we're getting ready to do my life stuff.

We're going to do this without anybody.

We'll put my own money up.

We're just going to do this stuff.

Yeah, you look great, by the way.

You really grew into your, what are you, 50?

55.

50.

Double nickel.

Yes.

No, you look.

The tattoo has grown in nicely in age, I feel.

You know,

I never thought by doing this, I never knew I would live to see so many other people with it.

I know exactly.

Right.

When you did it, it was very, very...

You had to be a hell's angel.

Right.

Prison or something.

Outrage.

It was very out there

to do that.

And you're right.

Tattoos, you know, they are moving like a fungus up the body.

And they're on the neck.

And now they're on the face.

And they're kind of taking over, I feel.

You know, listen,

you think about it.

2,000 years ago,

all of our ancestors were all tattooed up.

They were?

Yeah, absolutely.

What was those guys?

I'm not sure we had the same ancestors

2,000 years ago.

No, what was those guys

that the Romans were always trying to garlic?

They were all tattooed up.

The Romans did what?

No, when they

conquered?

They don't know, but they crossed the Rhine and they conquered.

Yes, right.

Well, they crossed the Rhine, but then Caesar, it was Julius Caesar.

Julius Caesar conquered Gaul.

Yeah, that was Gaul.

And he fought Jason Dredrix, the guys who they conquered this fight.

Well, actually.

Ketrix.

Ketricks.

Jason Gedricks.

Who is he?

Ketricks is the leader of Gaul that fought Julius Caesar.

Oh, I don't know that name.

What is his name?

Ketricks.

You sure we're...

I'm absolutely positive.

Okay.

Okay, so

he fought Julius Caesar, but

Julius Caesar died, and then they tried to go on the other side of France, Gaul, is Germany.

They never got to...

The Roman Empire was halted at

9 AD, the Battle of the Hurtenberg Forest, right?

Because that's where Herman the German

defeated, I think it's Valier.

Valence.

Valence, correct.

The Roman Emperor.

That's as far as they got because when they got into Germany, they found the tribes were super tribal.

But they got,

in order to do that, they were warring tribes, but they all

got

the only way they can do it.

And the guy who

defeated him,

that Herman the German guy, he had been taken in by the Romans and raised.

Yeah, all those guys, the Romans come and they

take all the kids and they raise them and they enslave them and they use them in the army.

So

this is a passion of yours, history, obviously.

You obviously read history.

I just know it.

Well, you must have read it somewhere.

Yeah,

I used to always read about boxing history and then it went

right from the beginning of it.

And then it got involved with gladiators, slaves.

Right.

And then that led you to Rome.

Yeah, it got really into it.

All roads lead to Rome.

Exactly.

And do you know there was gladiators that won their freedom tenths 20 times, but they couldn't stop the adrenaline?

You mean they wanted to, they could have left, but they won their freedom, yeah, so many times.

Boy.

But they couldn't, the addiction of the people.

They were like fighters today.

It was celebrities.

Gladiators were celebrities.

Athletes still always say that.

You know, I did it for the game.

Oh, fuck you.

You did it for the game.

You did it for you.

You know, I gave everything to the game.

But this is what I found out.

Nothing's bigger than the game.

The game's the platform for everybody.

Well, again, but see your platform is is really

primus inter paris.

There's a lot of things

but

something very primal about going into a ring with another man and punching each other in the head is like it puts it above as far as interest level.

You know it's just it's it's just it gets to it in a very deep way.

Like and it's very clear who the winner and this is.

But the fighters don't look the fighters look how can I outsmart this guy?

It's not ever what it appeared to be.

It looks like two guys killing each other, but the whole objective is how do I outsmart this guy?

You think that's it's always about outsmarting.

That's how you when you're young and you're a kid you win because you're stronger, but when you're at the top of the game, you only win because you're smarter.

Right.

But you have to be smart at the beginning too, I would guess.

Absolutely, but from experience, but I'm talking about the top of the game.

Being number one, it's only because you're smarter.

Right, I'm sure.

But weren't you the one who said everybody has a plan until they get hit absolutely you know that's a great quote absolutely everybody

absolutely and see here's even with me with everybody and life in general we we have to realize that um

things can happen what um what's that happened should happen it should happen if it could happen it would happen

but here's my guess about

you like now I know

is it Jake Paul wants to fight you?

Yay, I'm going to call him sometime Friday, and we're going to talk.

And

would you consider actually doing that?

Absolutely.

You don't worry about fighting at your age, at 55?

Check this out.

We were talking about Julius Caesar, wasn't we?

Yeah.

He's the one that raised.

He said 365 days of the year.

So before he was born, how did we tell our age?

Is this a riddle?

I don't know.

No, no, but really, Julius Caesar told us 365 days of the year.

But before he was born, how did we tell our age?

By when the sun came back.

No, how do you know that?

Because that's, you know, that's why we have, like, Christmas.

Do you know why Christmas is December 25th?

Why is that?

Because the sun...

When the God was born, that's when Jesus was born, I believe.

Well, that's when they said Jesus was born.

Okay,

even if he even existed as a historical figure, which we don't know.

But the reason why Jesus...

Jesus?

Yes.

Listen, you don't believe in Jesus like that?

I'm a Muslim, but you don't believe in Jesus?

I do not.

I'm not an atheist, but

also.

But I know what I wanted to say to you.

What?

When you were going, I'm saying, I've read about all the greatest conquerors in the world, and they conquered the world, and they still sent it, they're frustrated, they say, God,

there's still something greater than me.

Well, when they got defeated, they said.

No, no, no.

They defeated them, they conquered the world.

Right.

And they said, God is still something greater than me.

Why?

What would it be if they conquered the world?

That feeling that it's not, I'm not.

Not enough?

Yeah, no, it's that feeling that there's something greater than me.

It's just I'm...

You have to believe in something greater than you.

Well, I feel like if you're at the point where you've conquered the world, then your ego is in a place where you're not saying there's something greater than me.

And they did, many conquerors did set themselves up as gods on earth.

So they thought they were God.

You know when they said there's something greater than me when they got their ass kicked?

Seriously, that's what I'm saying.

Like, do you ever see Alexander the Great, the movie?

I know.

I don't know everything about Alexander from what there is to know about him.

Okay, well, I know a lot about it from Oliver Stone's movie.

I'm sure I learned it in college, too, but his was much more interesting.

And Rosario Dawson was really great at it.

And Angelina Jolie.

You know,

He was scared of his mother.

Yes, Angelina Jolie.

That's why he never went back.

He was scared to go back.

His men wanted him to go back.

He was scared of his mother.

He kept in touch with his mother.

He was just a momentous boy.

Yes, that's how they portray it in the movie, that they almost had an

incestuous relationship.

No, she was just one of those first stage mothers.

Napoleon's mother was the same way.

They were afraid of their mothers and stuff.

Well,

yes.

I mean, certainly sexuality in Roman times was quite different I mean like the way we talk about straight and gay and now of course straight Roman they do right in the street everything right in the middle of the street right now everybody's screwing the sleigh they're shitting in the street everything right there

everything's in the street that's why you say you're a man of the street it's disgusting it's just right yeah it's a mess

that roads a mess

yeah

Yes.

They're like, hey, man, I need you to go.

I need you to go.

Tough way to try to get a paper.

Yeah.

But when I do,

I'm a big...

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

I'm a big fan of love letters.

So I read some of the love letters from before the beginning of the time.

Like Plato had some love letters.

I read some of his love letters.

Whose love letters?

Plato.

Oh, Plato.

Well, that's Greek.

Yeah, but from the history of the world, the greatest love letters.

And so, you know, you read it.

Well, I mean, Greek, the love letters could have been to a boy.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

Well, not that that's wrong, but I'm just saying they had a, you know, the pederast, that was a big thing back then, someone who took an interest in what today we would certainly

is an inappropriate age.

You know, that's what gladiators, gladiators really and all like that, were just fuck boys.

They fought, but they were fuck boys.

You know what I mean?

They get sexually abused all the time.

The guards fuck them all the time, but you know, they'll kill you, but that's what they were.

They're slaves.

It was

sex.

Well, and after they had sex with the women, you know what they said?

Gladiator.

I think they liked men more than women back then.

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So Caesar gets stabbed in 44 BC.

Yes.

Right?

He crossed the Rhine.

The Rhine.

He crossed the

Woodworth for life.

Like Grand Poobah, you know, with a big cheese, whatever whatever it was, dictator.

I mean, this is the theme in many countries.

And by the way, it's the theme they ripped off for the end, wisely, because it's a great story.

But it was the end.

Have you ever watched Game of Thrones?

Game of Thrones.

I loved the Game of Thrones.

You did?

Okay, well, what is the end?

What is the plot point?

It's the Julius Caesar plot point.

In other words, the blonde...

girl who's like she's benevolent sort of and then she becomes a dictator and they got to kill her She's a bad chick, though.

Right?

She was a bad chick.

But she took a knife in the belly the same way JC did.

Yeah, she had to go.

She had to go because she turned too powerful.

Exactly.

That's the Caesar story.

She was just a humble girl taking advantage of sex with the next thing.

No, she conquered the rights.

And she's conquered.

She's got dragons.

Yeah, flying dragons.

No, she let the dragons go to her head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she's the girl with the dragon tattoo.

Intoxicating.

Power intoxicating.

Power.

Power, exactly.

So

anyway, the Romans, sexually, though,

and the Greeks, but especially the Romans, they didn't have this, you know, oh, you're gay, you're straight.

It was like, you're cute.

You know, I mean, like Mark Antony, very

macho guy, right?

Who part of the cabal that succeeded Caesar, right?

I mean,

he had, you know, the wife, and then he had the, you know, the concubine kind of mistresses.

And then he had like 13-year-old boys.

It was a very cute.

I don't want to say, but, you know, because people say, what the fuck?

Do you know homosexuals conquered the world?

Homosexuals have?

Yeah.

I know they conquered West Hollywood.

No, no, forget that.

I'm talking about warriors, gladiators.

They conquered the ancient world.

What do you mean?

You're saying most of the world.

Their tribe conquering the world, went out to conquer the world.

Whose tribe?

The Greeks, the Romans, or somebody.

They conquered the world.

They were gay?

Yeah, they were homosexual, then they conquered the world.

But see, you're saying they're homosexual.

And what I'm saying is there wasn't this concept back then.

No, that was homosexuality.

No, listen, right?

Americans are the only

phobic people in the world.

That's ridiculous.

There's many homophobic people.

Not like this place.

Are you crazy?

Not like America.

Come on.

What?

Every Muslim country in the world, you get thrown off of a roof.

Well, that's some extreme stuff.

That's extreme stuff.

It's extreme stuff that a lot of...

Listen,

as a Muslim myself, I know this.

Everybody...

Everybody's worthy of

the mercy of God.

I don't care what you did.

I don't think you have to be Muslim to believe that.

No, no, but that's what I believe.

I am good.

Good.

It's a good thing to believe.

But that's not what we're talking about.

I don't believe nobody should kill someone now.

Okay, but I got to correct the record about like intolerance or homosexuality is very much alive in the world today.

It's more probably alive in Muslim countries.

I listen to those who study this.

I'm talking about

a country.

Russia is horrible with no.

I'm talking about a country like this that takes everybody and we fight for everybody's rights and everybody's equal.

I'm talking about that country like that.

All those other countries are, you know, they're kind of tricky, you know?

Right.

But a country that promotes, hey, equal rights and all this crap.

Yeah, America has.

So then we got some crazy people.

Yeah, America is a

place with horrible sins in its past and its present.

But, you know.

If you look around the world, there is perspective to that too.

I have perspective too in America.

I think this is the best country in the world.

Oh there you go.

But listen, we're not perfect.

Agreed, of course.

We're not perfect.

And we never will be.

I mean, because we're not perfect.

It's amazing we're even still here, really, when you think about how primitive and how lizardy our lizard brains are.

Listen, we can't even anticipate that next breath.

What?

We can't even anticipate.

We don't get that any moment.

Right.

Life is fast.

I can't anticipate me another second talking to you.

Well, hopefully, it's going to be a good second.

But, you know, sometimes when I get up in the night, like to pee.

But no, I used to take something for that band.

But listen, I used to get up and pee every day.

It's only once in the middle of the night.

Oh, no, I'm like four times

and long, too.

It's long.

It's probably because Buster Douglas hit you in the kidney a million times.

No, he is in the head.

Not the kidney.

Which gets me back to the fight.

Here's my thing about the fight.

I worry about you.

I don't want you to, like, you have a really good brain and you're doing great things with it.

I would hate to see, you know, because here's my guess

about where you are.

Like, I bet,

of course, at 55, you do not have the wind.

to go around the ring like a boxer in his prime does.

You're also more brittle than you were at 25.

But my guess is the actual punch that you have is exactly as it was

when you were at the jam i don't think so oh

no but listen um know why you believe all the stuff you said you're brittle because you believe that i don't believe that

not at 55 a little more than at 25 you think you don't think your body was a little more rubbery and i have to i have to live my life different in that perspective but i don't think that i'm brittle and i'm a no no not a brittle freaking guy that's got 25 and I better be down and

okay, but like, you know what?

I saw this movie with Stallone

and Schwarzenegger that they made recently.

I mean, they're both punching 70 in the mouth, right?

And like, it's some escape from prison movie and they're fucking hitting each other with lead pipes.

I'm like, you guys, you're 68 that your body could not, I mean, at any age, but maybe at 25, you could come back from it.

Come on, you've got to acknowledge that time, you know, it's a river.

It flows, Mike.

It doesn't stop flowing.

Listen, it doesn't have to stop flowing, but maybe

you don't have to flow with it.

You know, you just can't give up in life.

You can't afford to be a little bit more.

I'm not old that I can't flow.

When I get up and pee in the night.

Like, I don't want to turn the light on because, you know, light is bad for sleep, right?

Really?

Look, sure.

I need it because I'm going to piss on the floor and everything.

I piss on my wife.

It's so mad.

Liz, my wife comes to go use the bathroom.

She sits down and said, put on a thing.

I pissed all over the thing.

My wife's, oh, my God.

I'm under messaging.

No, I'm serious.

No, I'm serious.

My wife gets up and says, You're just a pig, man, because I pissed all over the thing and I didn't pick it up.

Well, okay, we can certainly work on this.

I feel like this is not domesticated.

It's totally

solvable problem.

No, it's not.

All right.

Yeah, introduce me to your wife.

We'll work on it together.

But here's the plea I was going for is that, like, it's, I want to keep it dark because when you get light in your eye, it tells your body to wake up.

So that's why your room should be completely dark when you sleep.

And I don't want light.

So I know where everything is.

It's my house.

I piss there all the time.

So I don't really need light, but I'm doing this because I want to bump my head on the door or the door to the bath or whatever.

You know, so

I always feel like that's light.

When you're moving forward, everything is in the dark.

You can kind of see a little bit and you're using your hands to protect yourself.

I don't think like I can't sleep sometime at night.

My wife said, leave me alone.

I'm always saying I'm jerking off.

I used to be one of those guys that listen, you know, come on, mom knows it.

I just can't do it.

I'm sending for him.

I say, hey, just leave me alone, okay?

I got to sleep.

I miss, I go to bed at eight o'clock and wake up at two in the morning, can't sleep.

But you like being married.

I love being married.

Right, I know you do.

And sincerely, that's great to see it.

Because so many people, when they're married, you know, you say, you know, what's it like?

And they're like, well, you know, it's a lot of work.

They go right to sort of the.

There's no work.

Really?

That's no work.

No work.

Your marriage is no work.

No, I'm talking about from the fact that it's for Cameron Bennett.

There's no work.

Oh, God, you don't give me a hard time.

That's fantastic.

It's just, I like her to give me a hard time.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Imagine listen.

That's what you have a wife for.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Right.

To make you, to remind you that you're a man.

That's why you have a wife.

Yeah, to remind you that you're a man.

They do?

Yeah.

A lot of times they put your balls in their purse, though.

I mean, so there's also that side of it, you know.

Listen,

all the time they do.

If you have that dependence on a woman like that, she got your balls.

But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

Why is it a bad thing?

Maybe she just want to comfort my balls or something.

Well, that's a different

control.

Yes.

I mean, that's...

Manscaped.

We're always talking about balls.

I'm always putting on manscape and we're talking about balls all the time.

So you do that for your wife, you manscape because it's I don't do never, no.

I'm not a hairy person.

I'm not hairy at all.

No, but the beard looks very good.

Light the beard.

Like the beard.

Like the beard.

Really good.

Good look.

I don't know.

I'm his hair.

I don't have no hair.

I'm not a hairy guy at all.

Right.

Never work.

Never hair.

Interesting.

So, okay, so you like being married.

Yeah.

And you're a Muslim.

Yeah.

Is the whole family Muslim?

Some of my kids, but listen, it's my wife and my kids, they have to choose what they want to be.

Right.

They have to choose what they want.

And you're okay with that.

Absolutely.

That is not a point of view that is even allowed in many, many Muslim countries in the world.

There is one religion, it is Islam.

And

they're not big on like, hey, you know what?

Let's agree to disagree.

But listen, I'm not Allah.

I know, I'm just saying,

that's something you're allowed to do here as an American Muslim.

No, I learned from experience I'm not going to stop their growth from something that my growth is extending with.

Right.

I'm growing with it, but that's not their growth.

I'm just pointing out that this enlightened point of view is not found uniformly around the world.

You know, you said America is the greatest.

That's one reason why one thing that's still great about America is that you can have that point of view.

You'd be surprised how many Muslims want to come in and think that we the way we think.

Oh, about

it.

Oh, I'm not surprised.

You'd be surprised.

I'm not.

And I mean,

and with this, and

all those guys in Iran and stuff, you'd be surprised these are beautiful people.

And women who don't want to wear the fucking, you know, whatever the

thing that looks like the cover of a motorboat.

Well,

some people are more

modest than other people.

Right.

I wish I had the dignity to be that modest.

Modest?

Yeah.

Why do you say that?

Because they believe in covering themselves.

Oh.

And I'm like you said, I got to be, I don't care how much money I got.

I got to be in this cheap-ass plane with all these people and talking to these people.

There's one thing.

Modest is one thing.

Completely covering a woman so you don't see any of her

modest.

That's pathological.

Suppose she's happy with that.

She's not, oh my God.

She's not happy with it.

I mean, you can brainwash someone into liking anything.

It's like, oh.

What's that call again?

My kids always made that meet the Stockholm trips and Stockholm saying that.

My kids always say that.

My kids and my mother, my wife got Stockholm sentiments.

So your kids, how old are your kids?

They go from 33 to

11.

Okay.

So, and I'm sure you have times and you're with all of them.

Yes.

And

I'm wondering what the discussion is like.

Is it a lot of real shit?

I'm sure it is.

Like you talk about.

It's like this kind of thing.

I know, but but you talk about I mean there's nothing that's off limits right no you talk about sex with your kids you talk about religion

right everything your past yeah everything what do they say daddy I saw YouTube you were with this super live no they go like this

my kid now for 13

what was wrong with you dad

then why would you say something like that no but they must be very proud of you yeah they're like tyson they do but my kids my daughter's like one of these intellect kids and she's like why would you say something like that Right.

I'm just curious.

She's right.

How old were you then?

It's just ridiculous.

All of us in our 20s are idiots.

You can't, yours just happens to be on tape and in front of the world.

But we're all that way in our 20s, you know.

It's what's so frustrating about youth, but we were the same way, is that you want to tell youth you don't know anything yet, but because they don't know anything yet, they can't understand why that's good.

You know what?

The youth feel so good.

You don't want to listen to them.

This feels so good.

Why would I listen to old motherfuckers?

Exactly.

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You know, you became a Muslim in when you...

No, I was a Muslim before with

prison?

Yeah, but

it glamorized me, though, to be a Muslim.

By the way, I never thought you committed that crime.

crime.

Hey, listen, I appreciate that.

No, no, no.

Not that it's important.

No, but no, it is.

But listen, know what I learned?

It was the best thing that happened for me.

It was a great learning experience.

But you know what?

Back in the day, when this subject, because you're very famous, would come up in conversation and people would want to know my opinion, I'd always say, I don't think that was rape.

I think what Mike did was had sex with someone consensually and then wasn't nice enough after.

No, but listen.

Maybe you're guilty of that.

Yeah, but know what else.

And then someone gets angry, I'm guilty because of things I've done and got away with before that was grimy, right?

And yeah, that's what happened.

And that was just a wake-up call.

I mean, that's things that I did do with bad to women, disrespectful

that I got away with, that I never got complained with.

And this was one that it showed up.

That's kind of karma.

Yeah, it's coming.

I believe in karma.

Some of my friends say karma is bullshit.

I don't believe in that either, bro.

My friends are, so you say a little kid gets molested.

How is that karma?

But I was telling you a million years ago why December 25th is not only Jesus' birthday, but the birthday of many gods in

that Mediterranean world before Jesus.

They grafted that

December 25th onto his biography for a reason, because they were trying to sell a new product.

And it was familiar to people.

And it originated that way because the winter solstice is December 21st, right?

This is three days after the winter solstice.

So what are you saying about Jesus?

I want to hear your opinion about Jesus.

That's pretty much what I'm trying to listen to.

It's coming along, but it's coming along really intellectually.

I'm just going to tell you why it's December 25th.

It's interesting.

It's four days after the winter solstice.

Before there was science, on December 21st, it's the shortest day of the year.

The days keep getting shorter.

The people were like, oh my God, life is going to end.

Every day gets shorter.

December 25th is the first day they can notice that the days are getting longer again.

So it turned into a celebration day.

And that's why Jesus is on December 25th.

What?

Aren't you glad I finished that?

Yeah, but...

Didn't Santa Claus, wasn't Santa Claus the mushroom dude?

Santa Claus Jesus, it's all the same thing.

Anyway, what is my opinion of Jesus?

Oh, well,

as a philosopher, he did do some revolutionary things.

The meek shall inherit the earth was really revolutionary.

Of course, bullshit also, because they don't.

But what do you define as the weak?

The meek.

What do you define as the meek, though?

Well,

the meek are, you know,

certainly not the ballers and movers and shakers and egomaniacs and the, you know, the people who run the world, not Alexander the Great.

Alexander the Great wasn't meek.

Well, um...

How could he?

You're not meek.

You know, the meek...

Some meek people

disguise their meek with masculinity.

What do you mean?

Some people who are

who we're say are meek, they see their circumstances, so they hide that with masculinity to accomplish their goals.

Like, give me a specific example.

of that.

Say I'm a weak guy, right?

And I'm looking around and everybody's,

they're following this particular lifestyle.

This guy has to be a gladiator.

This guy has to be tough.

So

I mask myself in that, and the toughness.

I'm a tough guy now.

You know, it just goes, let's look, a guy like me.

Listen, a guy like me.

No, look at me.

What are you saying?

This is you in this analogy?

Yeah, it is.

It is.

It is me.

Do you see yourself as a meek person?

No, I look at myself as a guy that got my ass kicked and abused as a kid and picked on.

And so what do you call that?

Do you call that?

I never thought I could fight until somebody told me to fight.

I used to get beat up all the time in the views all the time.

Yeah, then one day my friend said, fight them.

You got beat up?

Absolutely, all the time.

Probably I'm 11 years old.

Really?

Yeah.

But then that's probably because you didn't, you weren't big enough.

You were being beaten up.

No, listen, I was this size at 12.

You were?

Yeah.

See, that's the year.

Everything changed for you.

Yeah, everything changed at 12.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

So I remember seeing all those documentaries and you'd always be up there with the pigeons and you know as an animal lover I kind of loved that this is an interesting and you

this is an interesting phenomenon because um pigeon guys it becomes a part of their soul we have birds and we don't even know why we have them we have other people taking care of them we just have to have our birds who does pigeon people oh pigeon people yeah yeah Oh, there's others?

All over the world.

Is that right?

Yeah.

I'm the only one I've ever heard of was you.

No, since the beginning of time.

I've heard of falconers.

You know, that's a big thing where they land on that.

Well, they used them because that's during the Crusades when they had the messenger pigeon.

So the the Arabs use the falcon to grab the pigeons and they can

see where the plans are and they can retract them down and entertain.

Huh.

But pigeons, w what is it about the pigeon as opposed to s other flying things that shit everywhere that you know what it is?

It's just that this is what crazy, they need you to protect them.

Most people that fly pigeons are like, they got the image of a tough guy.

Because of you.

No, no.

As a little kid, if you flew some birds, you better not mess with that guy.

Most pigeon flying guys are like tough guys.

Because if I'm a little kid, I got birds that I can come take away.

So you followed in that tradition.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, and something it's like,

maybe it's like you're this tough guy, but you want to show your gentle side and you can do it with a do you pet them?

Because birds are very dirty, aren't they?

They're cleaner than us.

That's all they do all day is clean themselves.

Birds are cleaner than us?

All day they do is clean themselves.

Right.

That's all they do all day is clean themselves.

Could you talk to them about the shitting, though?

Because I feel like it's just so much.

This is what you need to know.

We're talking about ancient times again.

Ancient time pitting shit was the manure of the world.

That's what.

I feel it is.

It's still in the manure of the world.

There's a lot of it.

I think of pigeons.

I'm shitting as good luck.

People that fly pigeons can't wait.

Their friends come up the first day they get shit on and be like, fuck, I'm up here for 10 years.

I don't get shit in on.

You get shit on your face.

But it is like they have permanent diarrhea.

You know, I mean, it's, it's, I don't know,

it's because they eat so much.

You know what else?

Their shit is like acid.

If it goes in your car, it eats right through your cars.

Yeah, it's like acid.

Bird shit is like acid.

It's like acid, yes.

Huh.

Wow.

You ought to do a science show.

Mike Tyson the science guy.

I'm birds I know.

No, and a lot of things, you know, do your history.

But, okay, so

the fight.

So who is this guy?

Jake Paul?

Yeah, yeah.

Who is he?

He's sensational.

What are you talking about?

You don't know who he is?

I know the name and I should know more and I apologize.

Treat me like an idiot.

I don't even look at him the way people say.

I can't even say what they call him.

But he's not a fighter?

Yeah, he's a fighter.

So he's a fighter.

Yeah, but they don't want to credit him as being a fighter, though.

Why?

He doesn't fucking fucking white with blue eyes and blonde hair, okay?

I don't know, but

you know, white people hate blue eyes and blonde hair.

Everybody wants to kill those.

You know, that's just, that's what he's.

But he can fight.

That's his thing.

You know, everybody wants to kick his ass.

Okay, every nationality wants to kick his ass.

Kick this guy's ass?

Yeah, everybody wants to kick his ass.

Why?

Because he's just some.

He pisses everybody off.

Because he's good-looking and.

Dad, too, but he's a great salesman.

Oh.

Great, great, great salesman.

Okay.

So there would be massive interest if you fought him, not you.

He's a promoter.

He's a great promoter.

He doesn't even know it.

He's just naturally a great promoter.

And what would the fight look like in your eyes when you picture it?

It would be fun.

It wouldn't be.

A fun fight.

A fun fight.

Because, why?

Because it would be so easy for you to...

Nothing's easy.

I'll never look at this.

I would kick you.

No, I don't look at life like that.

No.

See, you know what else I worry about?

As I talk to you, and I used to see you quite often at our friend Jeff Green's parties, you know, and you were always in a good mood, you know, we were at a party.

But you seem to have a calmness and a true happiness now.

I worry about being this focused, centered, happy in life, and then going into the boxing ring.

Because maybe what helps you in the boxing ring is being angry, right?

No, like I said, that's a terrible theory.

The projection that you are angry is the whole objective.

It's all an act.

Boxing is an act too.

It's just physical.

It's all psychological.

How can I get on his skin?

Maybe I should hit on his wife.

Something like that.

It's all psychological.

And then after you do all that stuff, you piss them off and it's over.

Hey, I love you, brother.

It's all good.

It was all strategy before you even get in the room.

So it sounds like what you're saying is like, you know, I know in many sports, if you just compared the athletes on a strictly physical level, you can't really tell which one would be the real champion.

I mean, there were many athletes who could jump as high as Michael Jordan and, you know, do some of the physical things, but he had a mental toughness.

The willingness and the determination to supersede everybody.

Right.

The willingness to sacrifice.

You only do that by sacrifice.

Only sacrifice can make you the best in the world.

Nothing else.

You have to sacrifice.

Well, certainly in your game.

Every game.

Yes.

But you don't want to go.

I mean, you don't want to go into the ring

flappy.

You know, you have to be.

You have to have an ego.

Like, I always...

I used to just watch the old fight.

They were always ripped.

I just wanted to look like the old-time fighters.

It was always ripped.

You look like you're here to fight.

I never wanted to be the flabby person.

and you and you know muhammad ali

fought when he was flabby sometimes i remember howard cosoto there's three rows of fat now where there were once two

oh but he did so beautifully degraded i know but he got punched too much yeah he wasn't in shape you know what i'm saying yeah but because he was he out tough guys he was tough when you're tough in this sport that's not a tough man sport it's a thinking man sport at the end of his career he got tough He was taking punches.

I think it's both.

I think

the elite level of anything, you have to have like a,

it's like, you know, three lemon, three sevens in a row, like basketball.

You have to be smart, high basketball IQ.

You have to have crazy skills and you have to be tall.

Tall as you have.

If you're 5'9 and have the first two, fantastic.

Good luck in your backyard.

But to be, and I think in your game, you have to be very tough, you know, smart and skilled.

You got to get all three.

I'm a heavy, I'm 5'10.

I crushed the world to my feet.

5'10?

Yeah.

Yeah, so that's perfect for a boxer.

You know what?

I agree tall, right?

High grade.

Like probably six,

5'11, 6' perfect.

Right.

And then your uppercut

puts their

chin bone into their chest.

Just that you're shorter and it's harder to hit.

A big target is easier to hit than a bigger.

So, you know, just as a weekend warrior,

I have have a basketball thing here I play every day I that there's something about watching the ball go through your hoop it's like the likes you know it's like I get a like in my brain every time the ball goes in and it's like magic how do I how do how am I focusing this ball how am I navigating this ball in that little hole

How am I able to do something like that?

That's almost impossible when you think about it.

I always, you know, I had the same thought.

Like if you had never seen anyone shoot a basketball and they were 20 feet away, you would think, oh, you'd get that a one out of a thousand times.

Somebody could do it all day.

All day.

Larry Bird could do it all day.

Oh, lots of guys can do it all day.

I think the record for number of free throws in a row is something like 1,400.

Not in games, of course.

This is like somebody, but they still did it.

Chainman did 100 in one game.

100 points.

When you

land a good punch, is that the same as when the ball goes through the hoop?

It's just like a, oh, I must feel good.

The best punch in the world is when you don't feel it.

You don't feel it.

And when you feel like you've missed the guy and the guy's out dead, that's the best thing.

I don't know why.

Sometimes you mean it's dead.

You mean

tired?

He's

out cold.

Cold, yes.

You kind of thou that he's not getting up.

I'm just saying, you're not wishing that he's.

No, no, that's just boxing terminology you're not johnny depp and ever heard

that's painful to see right that trial yeah very no serious no that's very serious i was talking about on my show last week and i said it's it's literally the definition of a tragedy because a tragedy is when the tragic character has this tragic flaw and because of the tragic flaw it's inevitable that he's going to go to his exactly but no

you know people are beating up on the girl right but I understand her too

who knows what happens inside that relationship but what do you understand about Amber

I understand that

she's defending herself she's fighting for her life well and psychologically she thinks everybody's against her because she's not getting a good rep she's not looking good in the press

well I mean, and there's also, we have to acknowledge the possibility that she could be flat out lying.

People do lie.

I mean,

but like you said, it's tragic, right?

Tragic, yes.

You see love turn into that.

Well, it's tragic

because what love is

supposed to be.

Must have known.

He had one trial already in London, which he lost.

He must have known that a second trial would completely ruin his career forever because

There's just too much in people's heads about this now, and it went on too long, and he wasn't at an age where you you want to start new and yet he couldn't stop himself from pursuing this because he had to clear his name.

Check this out.

He does not, I don't think he possibly

want

my relationship.

What do you want?

Take it all.

Oh, you mean if you were in a divorce?

No, in all my relationships, take it all.

Take it all to who you who want to.

Whatever, the finances, whatever you want, you take it all.

You're saying when you get into a discrepancy, that's your

negotiating position because you take it all.

Right, because you just don't want to fight.

Well, it's just...

I don't like that tragic stuff when two people love each other and now they hate each other.

Right.

If it is like that, let's do that privately.

Let's not, you know.

Oh.

That's just what I believe.

And that's what I'm saying.

The tragedy is neither one of them is going to work because she will always be the girl who pooped in the bed.

I mean, she could be the greatest actress in the world.

It doesn't matter.

It's like you can't, when she comes on screen, you'll think, poop in bed.

All you'll see is you Amber

shit bed.

That's

not a cry for them, right?

Cry for them is a little bit.

No, but not from a human perspective.

No, it is.

You look at them and you said, what the fuck?

No.

Do they have kids?

No.

Oh, no, God.

Thank God.

Oh, no.

I mean, look, he was married for like 15 years, or not married, you know, effectively married to someone who they lived in France and had two kids.

They seemed very happy.

And then he did a movie in 2009 with Amber.

And, you know, a movie set, it's like Temptation Island.

Did you ever see the show Temptation Island?

I've been on a bunch of sets before.

But Temptation Island?

No, it's a set.

I've been on movie sets and I see what happens on movie sets.

Right.

But I'm saying, in Temptation Island, they have like couples who have been together for four or five years and then they put them with all these other singles on an island away from each other because they're tempted.

And a movie set is just like that.

Except not only is the wife a continent away, and now you're on this island, a movie set with this hot person, but they actually are writing a script for you to fall in love with her.

You don't even have to do the work.

It says right there, Tuesday, kiss her all day long, you know?

Listen,

as a a group of, it all comes back from that Roman stuff.

A group of persons is all sex, you know what I mean?

It's sex-inspired.

That's who we are.

Everything does come from Rome.

I mean, a lot from Western civilization.

I mean, that was...

Rome and Egypt.

Egypt.

Less so.

Well, listen, count and find out how many pyramids are in this country.

Pyramids?

Yeah.

Well, there's the one in Vegas.

Tons of them.

Really?

Pyramids?

And the one in Vegas is still not bigger than the one in Giza.

I know, but the pyramid is not something that you'd have to be Egyptian to think of.

I'm sure people all over the world thought, oh, look, pointy at the top and bigger at the bottom.

That's not like...

There's pyramids in Mexico.

There's pyramids all over the world.

That's what I'm saying.

There's a pyramid in Bosnia.

Yes, because everyone thinks of a pointy thing with, you know, bigger at the bottom.

It's like a natural thing.

I think it's something that's a house of worship.

Bullet bras.

What?

I don't know.

I think they always, it comes down to a house of worship.

What comes down to a house of worship?

Pyramid.

Well, I mean, it certainly has been used in worship.

You know, the people do think there's something mystical.

It's on the back of one of our

dollars, eh?

Dollars, doesn't it?

Like, what's it doing on American money?

You're right, it's everywhere.

Because

we believe

our power system believes that's the way life should be.

Roman and Egypt, we have affixation with that.

There is another, I think there's another Egyptian, you're right, Egyptian thing on the money.

But a lot of this is because, you know, all these cultures, I mean, we did come, I mean, Roman culture then spawned European culture, which then spawned America.

So we do trace more back to Rome.

But they were all, you know, mingling with each other.

I mean, look at Mark Antony married Cleopatra, right?

Yeah.

And Caesar fucked her too.

Yeah.

They were like the Kennedys sharing Marilyn Monroe.

But it all all comes down to the power of her.

They're all fucking Cleopatra.

That's the power, though.

You know, everybody says, oh, she's getting fucked, but that's the power.

Do you think she had the power?

Absolutely.

She had the strongest men in the world

at her feet.

What do you think?

Do you think Cleopatra was great looking or it was something?

I think she was horrible looking.

Cleopatra was horrible looking?

A monster.

How do you know this?

You know what fucking Cleopatra looks.

Well, listen,

she had a um a tomb people looked at her through the thing she was actually had a bent nose she was really unattractive so what you just gave the most amazing head no she was the most intelligent intelligent yeah

and you think when she came to junior city she was in a rug and she boom before

yeah she was smarter than she smuggled herself in the rug she was smarter than everyone else So you think...

If she wasn't, how did she get the two strongest men in the world at her feet?

I bet you she was good looking.

No, she was horrible looking.

Well, we don't know.

To our standards.

But we don't.

Look at it in your phone.

They were looking in my phone.

What I call that YouTube thing.

What happened to that?

Who took a selfie of Cleopatra?

Before B.C.

Listen,

one of the.

You can look up for information.

I know, but you can't.

She's the ugly bitch.

You cannot.

We cannot know what Cleopatra was.

No, no.

There was no photograph.

She's the ugly bitch.

The ugly bitch.

Mike, I will not sit here and have you dedicate Cleopatra.

The ugly

bread.

Yeah, she was related to Alexander the Great, too.

That's when the bloodline stopped.

What's this?

She had the bloodline of Alexander the Great, too.

She had the bloodline.

How did she get Alexander's blood in her?

Greeks.

Greeks conquered.

One word?

Greeks.

You really know that the Greeks,

She was Greek too.

Who was she?

Cleopatra.

Cleopatra, yeah.

Well, I mean, Greece and Rome, of course, grew up.

Macedonia, they ruled everything.

Macedonia did not...

Well, Alexander the Great, of course, was Macedonian.

And

Philip II.

Philip II was

the barbarian.

But Macedonium, even today, it's disputed as a sort of a province of Greece or its own separate country.

It is its own separate country now, but people don't all agree.

The Greeks considered them barbarians.

Yes.

Yes, they were warriors.

I mean, they were sort of like Spartans of the north.

Look how many things are named after him.

Alexander this, Alexander this.

Yes.

Yeah.

No, I mean, he conquered the world.

But he was dead by 33.

32, yeah.

32.

You know.

I think think his men wanted to go back and they poisoned him.

He didn't want to go back.

He wanted to keep conquering and conquering.

Because when he got to India and

all the armies got together, his men were saying, no, let's not do it.

Right.

And he wanted to cross the river.

Yes.

He kept walking down the river, but they kept following him.

About

it's never enough.

Yeah.

That's what you were saying about conquerors.

Never enough.

Never enough.

So, listen, I gotta go, but.

Don't go, man.

Come on, man this is bullshit man hang out man I know

I agree but I know it seems like we're just sitting here but they were actually taping it that's the problem

forgive me for my language I just can't help

you

I can't tell you how

appreciative I am that you would think enough of me to do this because you're the very hot property in media and

you know I just really thank you so much Mike when I see you.

I think of good.

I think we're with Jeff

That's all respect We can do it again.

Yes, I do agree, right?

Yes, I'm gonna see Jeff

Next month anyway.

Okay.

He ready to move to Boca

you might yeah, my kids are they playing tennis and golf so I'm gonna move to Boca

We got the house and everything so the house already did it.

Yeah.

Because Florida is attractive now.

I mean,

I go back and forth on Florida Beach.

Yes, I almost, I look, I literally took a virtual tour of homes in Miami.

Look,

sometimes you have to look reality stark in the face.

And I was scared about, and still am, about the fires out here and other things, but mostly the fires.

And I thought, oh,

maybe I should go someplace.

And people said, well, you know, Miami, they all have hurricanes.

I'd rather drown than burn.

But not Miami.

You've got to be in both.

Well, whatever it's going to be.

And there is a sense of freedom there.

I mean, especially during COVID.

You know, people, I liked it better in Florida, and I was not a COVID paradox.

I was in St.

Boston, and everybody was hugging and kissing each other.

Yeah, hell yeah.

If I didn't have COVID, then I'm never going to catch it.

When I was in St.

Boston, if I didn't catch it, I'm never going to catch COVID.

If I didn't catch it, everybody hugging and kissing everybody.

Oh, I mean, the inconsistency of it was insane.

But I thought about Miami, and then I realized, no, actually, at my age, by the time I felt like I was at home there, I would be dead.

Listen, I've been here 40 years.

You calmed me, that would energize you.

No, you go to Miami, you'd be like, whoa.

I mean, Florida, you'd be like, whoa, you energy.

It's all to be energized.

I don't believe that's what you believe.

That's what you believe.

I'm brittle.

No, I'm not.

I'm not brittle at all.

I feel fucking great.

But I'm just saying, you can't deny that, you know, as you go down down the path of life,

you do get a little diminished in certain ways.

If not, you'd still be the champion of the world.

You can only be, as I always say, when people say, you look great for your age, just the part they don't say.

You look great for your age.

We don't look like we did when we were 20.

No, we're being serious now.

Life is just

look at.

It's a good thing, but it's just a beautiful process of dying.

dying.

As soon as you're born,

it's very poetic.

A beautiful process of dying.

Did you just make that up?

Yeah.

That's really profound.

But that's what it is, though, right?

That's

a fucking great way to look at it.

Can I get my pessimistic head wrapped into it?

Maybe.

I mean, like this joint.

Nobody just think about it.

We can't.

I mean, this clove cigarette.

I don't

know what they're putting in these cloves lately, Mike, but it's fantastic.

Anyway, all right.

Because Howie Mandel's here.

That'd be rude.

We just watched him on television this day.

Remember how he never touched people?

Watch Howie's thing and hang out.

Howie is still the same guy that he doesn't touch people.

Watch Howie, and then we'll get together after.

I got to get home.

I'm going to lay here.

Now he's got to get home.

That sounds like it.

No, no, no, no.

I got to get home.

That's 20-year-old guy stuff.

Hey, man, let's just chill out.

Right.

Quinton Tarantino, he stayed.

We partied all night at my house.

God, it was beautiful.

Well, some night.

But you don't drink.

No.

But you got the weed.

That's enough.

You thought about weed.

Love it.

Yeah, look at that.

Fuck.

Mike.

Gee,

that's you're not going to do that all in one night.

Well, hopefully I don't, but I will attempt to do it.

Look at the airs.

Look, come on, man.

You got to look at the Tyson mic bites.

You got to show that to the world.

I can't keep them in the store.

Mike bites.

I brought you a bunch of stuff, man.

I don't know why.

I rub them into my belly and I stick them up my ass.

They're that good.

Mike bites.

But you still, even if you stick them on your ass, you probably feel the high effects.

Yeah, it probably would work.

No, you feel good.

No, I'm telling you, I think the punch is the same.

You can't run around, but if the guy just stood still...

Yeah, not any problem.

I'm still good.

That'd be great, man.

Would that that be great?

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