Instagram Dating, Useless Men, & Being The Side Piece | Truth After Dark

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I feel like you done went from

what? The penthouse to

the

Mount Olympus.

I have been with someone off of Instagram. Yes, 100%.

Have you had a sexual relationship with somebody you met off Instagram? What do you mean sexual? I've been in a relationship, a full-blown relationship off of someone I met off of Instagram. Yes.

Because statistically, women who are unmarried and single are happier, and men who are unmarried and single are more depressed. This is a statistic done by Harvard Study.

The women, if you tell me one more thing, no goddamn harvest. No, the women,

the more and more I sit across from you, I feel like I'm your therapist.

I know you're lying. Are you pissed right now?

So,

what does that have to do with anything?

Oh, man.

You are so stupid.

This is the taking over the game.

All right, everybody, welcome to Truth After Dark.

Do you think that men or women are more toxic?

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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of The Truth After Dark.
I am your host, Azar Faraday.

I'm your boy, The Truth.

Okay.

Period. Get into that, honey.

Okay, so how are you feeling tonight? You got the red silk bust down? Yeah, I'm happy for the holidays. It's coming up.

I'm feeling real,

you know, just thankful for, you know, being able to

be around close friends and family for the holidays. This is a beautiful time of year to where you can share, you know, moments with your loved ones.
I'm really excited. I love that.

That's really dope. I'm really here for that.

So there's been a lot of stuff going on in the media per usual. Okay.

The first and foremost is. That hat is busting on you, though.
That's a nice hat. Thank you.

Yeah, that hat is cracking. Thank you.
I appreciate that. Girl, you've been stepping yo since the sun went down.

The sun went down. You've been stepping your game all the way up.
Okay. Thank you.
What you got going on? What's like,

what you got going on? What do you mean, what do I have going on? What's like, you know, what's the motivation between,

I mean, I feel like you done went from

what? The penthouse to the, to the,

to Mount Olympus.

I'm crying.

What's the motivation? It's just, you know, you had me on here telling me I was cooked every day. So I had to remind a mother that, you know.
Cooked food is good too, baby. Get into that.

Older women is hitting too, honey. Older women hidden.
This is older women's season.

I'm not an older woman, so I don't know what you think. No, it is older women's season because summer is over.
So now everybody cuddling it up with the older women. Who is the older women? You, you.

I'm 34, honey. That's older.
I feel like

I'm older than most younger people. It's cuddle season.
I'm not an older woman. It's cuddle season.
It's getting cold outside. It's raining.
Everybody looking to cuddle up.

Everybody's looking to boo up. Yeah, all them short shorts that's good to go.
They're in the closet till the spring.

All them little skirts is gone.

Everybody can't wear them skirts and now they got to put something on. It's like, ooh, the boo up is right.
I've been booed up. I've been booed up, baby.

So everybody looking for something extra thick, too. Not the extra thick, the 280.

Extra thick. The 280.
This is extra thick season. You got to be too something to do something.
Extra thick.

Extra thick season. Hey, it's cold outside.
I'm telling you. This is crazy.
Okay, so

anyways,

so Summer Walker, let's just get into Summer Walker. She is, was, I guess, messing with Rich the Kid.
And she basically,

he released a voice note of her basically saying, like, I don't care if you have a girl. It doesn't matter to me.
Like, get me a separate phone, call me on that phone, and I'll be your side chick.

Like, she, whatever. And then,

wait, what? Yeah, they got something going. Well, that's what she was saying.
Like, I don't care. And then she said, then she said that she basically is like,

I'm over it because your girl be tripping. Like, she be fighting people, showing up places, going to the flower delivery shop, seeing what's up, doing this.
And she's like, how am I supposed to be

have a good relationship with somebody with that going on?

Well, first of all, if you the side piece, first off shut the up lord like know your place well that's what she's saying she's knowing her place saying like i won't say now she airing everything out like don't air why you you

air stuff out why you because this is what happens with a side chick in my opinion you gotta understand the consequences of that yeah

She might call you, have a conversation. Y'all might even meet up.
Y'all might even meet up. It might be a situation to where I don't know subcasts that say, hold on.

Y'all want to talk? Y'all want to see why it is the way it is?

So, like, you can't be out here. And see, this is the culture we live in and the era and the generation we live in to where everybody got to do stuff over social media.

Like, nah, let me tell you what the old school side pieces wasn't blasting you. Like

you know about that? Not like that, to where the world know. It was like local.
Right. It was like show up at the church.
Like, hey, I got your baby. Something like that.

This is crazy. That is.
It is crazy. Well, they got blasted still.
The thing about it is, is now everything is on the internet. You have to be careful.

But another thing is, it's like when you mess with a side chick, eventually someone's feelings is going to go crazy. As a woman, you're a woman.
You're not meant for that.

So eventually you're going to feel emotional. And this is going to happen.
And they all like women always say, oh, I'm cool with it, or whatever.

And then, as soon as they're not cool with it, now everything is blasted out. You agreed upon the situation, but now all my business is aired out.

And, you know, in the great words of Paul Pierce, no, no, no, use your words. No, you said, use your words, side pieces save marriages, but I can't say that.
I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

You have a whole viral clip that says that. I didn't say that.
You said you're a homeboy. I never said that.

Please, all I'm asking is, please, Darnell, put in the part where he says that right here. I'm so serious because I really want to show everyone how Paul just be backtracking on everything he said.

I don't remember ever saying that. This is crazy.
Like, this is

bloke. She was just, you can't come on.
They made me say that. That's why I said, say your words.
You can't say that. No, because I'm saying that.

I've been married. You haven't been married.
I've had a girlfriend and everything.

And the one conversation I was having with a dude was

side piece. Okay.
Side piece conversation. He was like, P,

man, my side piece kept my relationship going longer than I wanted it to go.

Because I was ready to break up with her. But if I didn't have my side piece,

I would have divorced her a long time ago.

And asking y'all on Truth After Dark, as men,

like,

I know this ain't right

but do side pieces keep a relationship going longer than it should be

we'll move on from this because you know I personally will never be anybody side chick at all because I'm not meant to play the side I'm really the main person the main course I'm the main attraction there is nothing that you need I'm the fried chicken, the mac and cheese, the yams, screens, everything, baby.

And that's just it. Like, you don't need no extra sides because dealing with me is already a lot.
You don't need to be dealing with nobody else. You need something.
You need another girl.

I'm going to change my hair for you. You need another look.
Okay, cool. Let me switch up the look, baby.
I look different for you tonight.

What you need? Like, we're not doing that. And I promise you, let a man have a side chick.
Let anybody have a side chick on me.

You said you the turkey dressing mass greens, but what if he won't like some sweet potato pie? Okay, I got you, baby.

What do you mean? Sweet potato pie. She's like, after the main course, and I got something for that, too.
Don't even trip. I got something.
Let me tell you something.

I got it. I got it.

I'm not, I promise you. I got it.
She said, I promise. You just got to let me know.
And I got it. You just got to say the word.
She's advertising right now. No, I'm not advertising.
Damn.

I'm not advertising. I'm off the market and I'm not apt to be advertised, honey.

So, anyways, moving forward.

So, women, there's a woman on Instagram, she went viral for saying that men are becoming too content with being useless. They don't know how to fix things anymore.

They don't know how to build nothing. They don't know how to pay for nothing.
They don't know how to plan dates. Why are women even messing with men?

And now there's new research that a study shows that the younger generation not wanting marriage from 1993 to today, women are 22% down.

Like it decreased 22% that women don't want to be married, and only 2% for men, meaning men are still cool to be married.

Only 2% of men said no from 1993, but 22% of women are like, nah, I'm cool on marriage now.

Damn.

So women are starting to feel like, man, what are the use for y'all?

Y'all can't build, like back in the day, like men are fixing your tire, they're changing something, they're coming in, they're building something, they're fixing the air conditioner.

Now, the younger generation of men, they don't know how to fix nothing or do nothing, or that's what the women are saying. So it's like, why am I even with you?

Damn.

We don't know how to, like, I don't relate to this, and I believe that to be true, though, because you got to understand those, we don't even teach that no more to our youngest no more, truthfully.

Like, I was telling you earlier, I had Wood Shop, I had tech,

tech shop, I had auto shop in high school. Those classes is no longer in the school.
So now it's more

what the kids do know, the kids are smarter. Yeah, the kids are very advanced.
They're very advanced. They're smarter.
And it's kids out here becoming millionaires without going to school. Yeah.

They understand the social media game. They understand the tech world.

They understand more. They're getting smarter.
So maybe that says something about men and not women. Maybe men are smartening up.
Well, I would say. And less handy.

And we don't have to be less handy because if men are making more money, they can pay people to do that. That's true.
But I will say that the newer generation lacks the basic social skills, though.

Like, they have that anxiety if they don't have their phone. They don't know how to walk into a room and have a conversation.
They lack that because they're so into the internet.

They have an internet personality.

You need that, though. Which you don't know you don't because I can have a meeting over my phone now.

I can go to work from the house. You can, but it's sad because it's like we're so connected, but we're more disconnected than we've ever been.
You know what I mean?

Like everyone's connected on social media and all of this, but there's so many people saying that they're alone and they're disconnected and it's more lonely than ever right now, you know, because people are not congregating.

They're not having little close friends and family get-togethers anymore. Not the younger generation are not doing those things anymore, you know? So it's like they're not into that.

It's more say everything is online, streaming this. It's everything is a show.
And when it comes to real life, you meet some of those people behind those screens that have the biggest personalities.

They're very awkward. And it's like, like, you don't even know how to talk to nobody.
Like, you don't know how to conversate, have a conversation. You have social anxiety.
You can't move around.

Like, it's just weird. It's like,

you know, this generation, they ain't got no finesse. They don't know how to walk up to a female and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then next thing you know, the female. Yeah, yeah.
But they don't have to do that because they could just now. You know what's so weird to me? This is how guys talk to girls now.

Like for me, I would go, I would have to talk to a girl and I really had to give her a little bit of conversation, not take up too much of her time and get right to the point to where I could convince her, like maybe we should go out.

I can take you out, but I got, I gotta know, I know it's the window, it's like 30, 45 seconds, maybe. Whereas now, guys just go up to a girl, be like, give me an Instagram.
Yeah, that's it.

And the girl will be like, all right, here, you can have my Instagram. And that's how they meet and that's how they exchange.
But you know what's even worse than that?

Is like this had happened to me one time. Many of times this has happened.
I'll be out and I'm seeing a person

and they're like in the room with me for like an hour we're at an event they're in the room with me for an hour yeah you're standing there you're staring at me you have ample opportunity to talk to me and how you know they stare because i can see them looking at me i feel in my peripheral no i feel them you know peripheral vision keep light no i can feel it in my peripheral that someone is staring i have my head on a swivel honey i know when people are looking at me i could feel it i feel it and you want them to go say something?

I don't want anything. What I want, I want is if you are going to say something, do it in person.
I don't like a man. Maybe a man like to admire from afar.
Listen to what I'm saying.

This, let me get to the point. Okay.
So the point is, is this will happen, right? And then I'll get home and I'll get a DM from a man. Hey, I saw you tonight.
You look so good.

How are you? I wanted to come up to you. That's weird.
You had an hour in a space with me to talk to me, to come up to me. think that's weird.
It's weird.

I don't think that's weird. It's so not.
If you don't have the confidence to come up to me as a man, then I don't want to fuck with you. No, so listen to this.
You got to think about it like this.

He might have seen you over there having fun with your friends. He might have seen a dude next to you.
He didn't know if that was your dude or not.

It's a lot of factors that go into this. I get what he was, like, whoever that was.
It will be situations.

He was just like, I didn't want to come up to you because I seen a lot of it going on. You was in a section or there was people around you.

Cause it ain't like you're going to be standing there looking like a deer. No, no, no.
It was a, this situation has happened when I've been like literally standing next to the person.

Like I was in Sable Center at a box. We're on the escalator this close together.
Oh, here, opening the door for me. Here you go.
Won't say nothing.

No idea. That's my point.
It's weird. How are you finding me on Instagram and doing all of that work? But you can't be like, hey, what's up? How are you tonight? Like, are you single? That's it.

So let me ask you this. Yeah.
You ain't never dated nobody just so you met off of Instagram. I have.
Yeah, I have.

I have been with someone off of Instagram. Yes, 100%.

Have you had a sexual relationship with somebody you met off Instagram? What do you mean sexual? I've been in a relationship, a full-blown relationship off of someone I met off of Instagram. Yes.

Like sexual?

We were having sex. Yeah, we were in a relationship.
Okay.

How many times? We were in a relationship. I was with this person like four times.
I mean, how many times have you done this? Like once.

Yeah.

One time. This internet stuff is new right now.
Like you're not just meeting people.

Yeah, but you're not just meeting people just straight up off the internet. I'm not meeting people.
That's the new norm. Now, yes,

been the new norm. I've done that once before.
Yes. I have done that.
So, yes, I have done that.

But I didn't see this person in person.

They didn't see me out and about. That's the difference.
They found me on Instagram, hit me up, and then we created a relationship.

I didn't go somewhere, see this person, have a conversation, and they never said anything.

Have you ever met somebody off of social media and then like hooked up with them the first night you met them? No, I've never done that.

What do you mean, hooked up? Like, had sex?

Like, you know, went somewhere

connected. Yeah.
And like, maybe like

kissed and

the first night you met met them,

stuff like that.

You have a problem. I don't need everybody my business.
Have you? Like, what?

Have I ever met somebody on Instagram, hooked up with them, met them,

yeah, met them on Instagram, hit them up, went somewhere, went out, and met them? Yeah, okay, cool. That's good for you.

It was popping. All right.

That was exciting. Okay.

It was kind of more exciting than going up to a girl, waiting for her to call you, meeting them, talking to them, waiting for them to call you, and then you set up a day two weeks later.

Nah, Instagram, let's meet up. What are you doing?

What's up?

Okay.

Popping.

That's the new normal. And was that it? You never saw that person again, or y'all was cool.
We hooked up a couple times. All right.
After that,

cool.

Okay, so anyways.

I'm crying. Okay, so anyways,

Brian McKnight was on the internet and he basically said he was never in love. Brian McKnight is my boy.
Okay, yeah. He said he was never in love with his wife and he just was with her.

He stayed with her for the kids, period. And he just was not feeling her none ever.
Not at the beginning? He said he was never in love with his wife. Damn, that's crazy.

And so my thing is, like, what do man be doing? Like, I just don't know. You got to understand.
I can get what he's saying.

Because there's certain girls that dudes, like, you got to understand, like, men are built different. We're not emotional creatures, you know?

So, like, he can just be like having sex with her and like the sex and be in love with that. but not in love with just her.
And you marry that? People do that.

Yeah, people do that.

people you act like men men like they will be with a girl because of the sex that's and that's it don't like nothing they like the way they look and the sex but then it's like really you dry or you

you know i'm just like yeah yeah whatever you know conversation week you ain't really but the situation

like i could never imagine but also i'm not a man so i'm not driven by sex you know what i mean like because personally if i can't chop it down with you, kick it, hit it, vibe out, I cannot be with nobody.

Like, I just feel like so miserable. And even in my past relationship, my five-year-old.
Women are more driven by sex than men. No, that's not true.
Are you a woman? That's not true. That's 100%.

So you're a woman. So you're women are more driven.
Are you a woman? Do you know that for a fact? Because you're a woman. How? You're not a woman.

There's no way you can know that.

You're not a woman. There's no way I can know that.

That's so not true. I'm going to tell you why it's true.
I know you say this every single time. Women are more driven by sex than men.

Driven by sex and men. Driven by sex.
Yes. Why? Go ahead.

Save the point. Because

the sex is everything to a woman in a relationship. That's such a lie.
It's such a note. The sex is on the lowest totem pole in a relationship.
Sex is on the lowest totem pole.

Then why would a man cheats? It's like a man going out and have sex with another lady. Yeah,

that's sad. But that's a

various level.

What you're saying is driven by sex is is different my motivating factor for being with a man is not sex most women don't even don't even most women don't even come statistically from being with a man like what are you talking about if that was the driving factor for women a lot of women wouldn't even be in a relationship you're telling me that that's the driving factor that's not the most important thing for a woman in a relationship and i promise you that i have homegirls we talk intimately more intimately and raw than you can imagine i'm a woman and i'm telling you right now, that is not the highest thing for most women.

You're not thinking, oh my God, the sex. Yes, the sex isn't a factor.
But for me and a lot of women, the sex is good because you love that man.

The sex is exciting because you're like, damn, I want to please him. I'm enjoying this because I love him and I rock with him so heavily and I'm into him.
That's why.

That's why the sex is hitting, period point blank. And that's why when women stop having sex with a man, it's because they're off of a man.
She's having sex with another man.

No, that's not what it means. It's not.

That's not true. Yes, it does.
That's not true. 100% that's not true.
When a woman starts having a man.

Why do men don't have sex toys like women? Is that true or not? Yeah, but all of them. Most people have a drawer with sex toys.
They don't come every time typically.

The average man comes every time he has sex. Y'all got these toys, these flowers.
Y'all got all this shit. Come on.
I don't want to y'all.

That's driven by sex. We don't got all that in our drawer.
Y'all got a whole drawer, all this. It's not the whole drawer.
This is what I'm saying. But this is why.

This is why men are going to come 90% of the time. Men are going to come during sex, period.
I don't know men who just don't come during sex. That's the, that's when sex is over is when the man comes.

When women, women don't come at like men because it's more intricate and difficult. It's not the man's fault.
So women have toys so they can get themselves there. It's different.

Like men always are going to get there no matter what. So yes, it's a different thing, but it's not driven by sex.

Like, no, a man being a man and being all the things that a woman wants, like feeling him and connecting with him and having that energy and having that relationship is important.

And I think that when that goes out the woman window, women start to feel like sex is a chore. Like, oh, God, I have to have sex with this man now.
This is crazy.

You know, like, and when I start to feel like that, I know that I no longer love this person and I don't want to be in this relationship anymore because it's all about how you feel about the man.

And you don't agree with that? No.

So what is your point? You think what?

Just women are driven by sex. That's why y'all dress the way y'all dress, smell the way y'all smell, get the toys y'all need to get.

Like, we know what it is.

This is crazy. You are tripping.

I like a good woman that can throw on a suit and feel sexy and just like walk through the hallway or walk through the lobby and just with a swagger like yeah i don't need to be wearing this because i know i'm cracking okay

yeah so what is and what does that have to do with anything

i don't know

you are so stupid i love it okay so anyways older women are starting to say in their 40s that they prefer younger men and we've had people on our podcast that are in their 40s that have said this because I'm not in my 40s, so I don't know, but they're saying because they're more easy-minded, they're not stuck in their ways, and they're not intimidated by strong women.

So they're like, We are, and I hear this all the time. The older women are saying the young men got older women, then let's talk about that.

Well, 40s. Okay, so 40-year-old women who like younger men just like boy toys.

I could believe that. They just like somebody because everybody didn't written them off

and nobody wants them. And now they just want a sexual partner and they know it's not going to be a part of it.
Nobody want them.

It's not going to be no attachment because the young dude ain't going to be a young dude eventually going to be like, well, I'm just going to

get with her and that's it. And they know this ain't long term.
He already knows it ain't long term. If he like 26, 28, he knows he got a future with something else.

So he just, this is just a pass-along. Pass-by.

up. There are some men that have been like, Dreas with, oh boy, they have a kid together.
He's like 23 and she's 45 or something.

But then there is cases where, you know, there is cases to where an older lady can like really like

turn a young boy out. And he's just overwhelmed.
And he's just like, damn. I think that it's kind of strange that when men are with super young women, we're like, that's disgusting.
You're this.

But when women do it, it's not looked at like that. I personally

don't find that that. I think that's nasty.
And I think that there's a lot of men who've been taken advantage by women who were like older than them, and they were only like 14 or 15.

And they have these stories of like, oh, this older woman who was like this age was doing this and doing that. And it's like, that's no, that's a real thing that a lot of men.
I've experienced it.

Yeah. I've experienced.
And that's a real, you know, that's a real experience. When I was 21, 22.

There was like an older lady I was dating. What was her age? She was like in her 30s.
Okay. She was like

in her 30s. But it was like as a young 21, 22 year old, you know, in the league with some cheese, it was just like, all right.

She was like, all right, I'm going to fly you here. I'm going to pick you up in my bins.
We're going to, I'm like, this is bro. This is cracky.
Like, you ain't seen that from the young.

So it's just like, all right, I'm going to take you. So now you intrigued by that.
I'm going to put you up in this suite here. And I'm like, damn, this is crazy.
Rub you down.

I'm like, damn this rub you down she got the feather man she got that big feather the big feather

crying it's like damn so now you over here now i ain't gonna even lie to you my mind was gone my mind was gone i can imagine i was just like hold on but that's that's crazy though that's like grooming us somebody yeah yeah i was and and and when men do that it's looked up like you're disgusting you're nasty you're up but i think we need to hold women accountable because what do you mean you have a son that's that's his same age and this is who you're dealing with.

Like, and men don't emotionally mature scientifically till 43.

So you're telling me that you're with a 20-year-old boy or even boys who are like 15, 16, it's cracking for a man because they're looking like this older woman, she's turning me out, she's putting me on, but that's still not okay.

Like that's weird and that's uncomfortable. Like I would never mess with any young boy like 21, 22.
Like I think that that's very strange. I don't feel comfortable with that.

I have a nephew that's older older than that. Like, to me personally, I do not feel comfortable with that.
I don't like younger men. I do not want to date anyone younger than me.

I've never been with anybody younger than me, only older than me. I don't deal with younger men.
I think it's very weird. And, like, I just think that men already have a problem being mature.

So, it's like, then I'm being with someone who's even more. And it's like, you are taking advantage of them, it feels like you could easily, like, I could manipulate a young boy so easily right now.

It's different because, like, I was like, I was in the league, so I seen a lot already.

No, it doesn't matter, though, because I've had young boys that are in the league that be like 21, 22, money, rich, everything, trying to be like, what's up? And I'm like, you are a child.

I will not fuck with you. Like, that's weird.
And literally, like, I could take advantage of him and be like, let get married to him and everything. Take his money and do all this.
Like, it's easy.

That's why women are doing that. I see a lot of women getting with the young, young athlete boys and doing that.
Like, that's the little play. A lot of girls are doing that right now.

new play that's a new play right now i see a lot i don't even want to name the names because i feel bad but it's a lot of women that are doing that right now it's a ring of them it's a bunch of them yeah it's a ring of them i don't know who the ring leader is they got a group chat maybe

i think it's a group chat I could imagine that, but I'm not dealing with that.

I don't want to build, first of all, I want to be with a man who's like knows more than me, could teach me stuff, can put me on a stuff, can tell me things.

I don't want to be with someone where I'm like your mom. Like then it becomes like a weird like

sting.

You know what I mean? It just starts to be weird. Like I don't like that.
I don't want to be that. Like anyways, so the game was talking about

how he feels like when he's entertaining women, he has no real intentions for, and like he knows like, I'm not going to be with this girl in a relationship. I'm not going to mess with her.

or my heart is somewhere else already like i love someone else he admits that he like loses sleep over that and he feels like men don't talk about that enough.

And they don't talk about like the fact that, damn, I'm like entertaining women who I don't really fuck with like that just for sex.

Like he was like, I'll feel so bad and sick to my stomach like the next day to the point where I had to stop doing that. You know what I mean?

Cause I'm just like, I'm too grown to be in that type of situation where I'm doing this and now I'm guilty and I feel so. crazy, you know? What are your thoughts on that? I agree with that.
Yeah.

I think, you know, when you start getting to the realization when you get older, it's a waste of your goddamn time. Yeah.

You looking at a girl and it'll look good and you're like, damn, it'll be a, you know, sexually is cool, but it's just like, I don't see no future with her.

I don't see myself really taking her serious. Yeah.
And now I'm looking at like, damn.

Like, what am I doing? Yeah. Wasting my time.
Because as you get older, the years, you're just like, man,

I ain't got time to waste no more.

It's like, dog, you've been doing that for so long. You've been doing it for so long.
And you're just like, that's a waste of my time. I'd rather be like

by myself or just,

you know, just focused and locked in than wasting my time with a girl I know I'm not gonna be with her. Why am I even going to dinner with her? Why am I even having sex with her?

Why am I even doing anything with her? Yeah. Because it's like, I know long, I know I'm not going to be with her.
But

I think men get lonely. I think men love the

just

have, it's a lot of men just, it's tough not having somebody around that always with a girl and stuff like that. And it happens.

And even though you already know you might have a girl at your house or hanging out with them, doing stuff, having activities with them, and you just know you don't want to be with them.

You know what I'm saying? You keep the friendship and you just like, you know, I know I ain't going to be with you, but you still.

you know, do stuff like y'all in a relationship, but then it's just like, you know, why am I wasting my time?

i really actually saw that and i felt what he was kind of like saying because like it's a waste of time now yeah and it's a waste of mental like

you know i i get it yeah i felt that you probably feel like that now too huh not now but i've definitely felt that before like i why not now what do you mean i mean you probably feel like that like being an older lady like you don't you're just dealing with dating guys you like no it ain't gonna be no long-term nothing coming from it Oh, well, I haven't.

Because time is running out for you. Time is not going nowhere for me.
I'm good. So I'm the one who don't go off of societal

what time something has to be. A lot of people, they met those marks by me.
Oh, I'm going to marry someone. I'm going to have, I'm going to do it.

And they're miserable and they're divorced and they're unhappy and they don't have a strong relationship. I don't care about what society is putting time on.
You're not going to rule my life.

What kind of person am I to let anybody rule what time I'm doing anything are you paid like what do you what what like

i wake up in the morning do someone else choose what time that is when you get older like it's not a desperation i don't have a desperation

i can't for people maybe me you don't think that's a thing though like when yeah i do i think they get older like to find yeah like before i stop looking a certain way or stop being a certain way or stop and then they just become see this is the thing about women like when they start getting older and they don't have that relationship they start getting more depressed.

You know, I started noticing in that status. That's actually not true because statistically, women who are unmarried and single are happier and men who are unmarried and single are more depressed.

This is a statistic done by Harvard Study. The women.
If you tell me one more thing about the goddamn harvest. No, the women.
The women. They didn't put up 100 human beings.

No, no, no, no, they didn't. Sorry, live here until you're like 70 and we're going to see if we're going to do that.
Write some shit down. Like, oh, he's depressed.

Because men need more from women when it comes to when they get older, emotionally. I won't go by Harvard Studies.
Let me tell you something.

Women are now more happy being single, but I understand what you're saying. Where society puts a time clock on women and men, of like, especially women, oh, you need to be married by this time.

Why aren't you married? Why don't you have kids? Why aren't you this? Like, you even said before, like, oh, if you're over this age and you don't have a kid, there's something wrong with you.

I never said that. You said that.
So, I

be throwing words in my mouth. Put it in.
If something wrong with you

something's wrong yeah you know what it is you no i never said you're everything that's wrong with me so anyways i didn't say yeah you did wrong with you you said that you said that no i just say that like you you said there's some woman and they have a level of desperation no i think those women like that they just overthink it

Or have you ever considered that maybe they were pregnant and they were with someone who said, I don't want to have a kid right now. And it was their partner.
Have you ever thought about that?

Have you ever thought about women who decided not to have children and have abortions because they felt like they didn't want to be in a situation that was fucked up?

And even though they were doing everything right and they were with a partner that they love, but unfortunately they couldn't. Like there's a lot of situations in which that happens.

So you can't sit there and judge anybody because you don't know what storm God has asked them to walk through.

You could not sit here and put anything on anybody's life because at the end of the day, someone should tell me I should be married and I should have a kid, but half of the people that i know married and had a kid on the time that society said we should are not with that person and are in a broken family and are co-parenting and are alone and now they have to raise a kid and also hopefully they can find a partner that they want and bring a partner into a situation where they already have all this excess baggage so at the end of the day i'm grateful that i'm my age and i don't have excess badging baggage i don't have a baby daddy I have to deal with in a co-parenting situation.

And luckily, someone who comes in my life doesn't have to deal with that.

they can get someone who don't have all of that going on and i can actually have a real chance at meeting someone that i can have a real family with and not have all this broken shit that i've created because i was young and i didn't really know what i wanted and i was young and i was trying to beat some biological collapse even if you know what you wanted and stuff happens yeah so it happens but you can't judge anybody's walk of or their path you can't say this person was better

because like you can have no you can get the the situation you want and then have the breakthrough and then you waited all day. You could have did, you could have started that a long time ago.

Yeah, but the thing is, is what I'm trying to say is I'm not judging that. You are.
You're saying that this person, these people who did this were better.

Why are women over 30 or women over 30 don't have this or men over 30 there this? You're saying that these people are better because they made this decision, right? I'm saying I don't feel that way.

I feel like everyone has a certain walk and path that they decide. There's decisions that I've made till this day that was not getting married to someone or not having a baby.

These are the decisions that I have made to be where I am here. I don't think I'm better than anyone.

And I don't think that they're better than me because they decided to be married, whether it was happy or not. Did you have any regrets? I don't have regrets.

No, I feel like everything that I've done so far, like I'm, I'm okay with, you know, like

I do feel like at the end of the day,

everything I did was to get me to where I am right now. So I'm the person I am and the woman I am because of what I was,

you know, God had me walk through. So yeah, I don't feel like anyone is better.
And I feel like for women out there that feel like they have to, because men always and people, you should be married.

You should have this. Why are you single? Why are you single? Why are you single? Because I want to be, because I feel good about it.

I have been blessed because I really have not been single like that. And I just feel like.

Even in those moments, maybe I should have. Maybe I should have spent my 20s single and not in these booed up relationships my whole life.
You know, I don't know.

But at the end of the day, I think that you just have to go through what you go through and don't let society or a man or any woman or anybody tell you that you need to do something differently.

That's it. Cause I don't like that.
I don't like that.

Are you pissed right now?

I'm just not pissed. I feel like people always think I'm pissed because I'm passionate.
I talk with passion. I'm not pissed off at anything.

I just want people to feel that because every woman that sat here in this chair and came on here, they they say the same thing: people weaponize singleness for women. Why are you single?

There's something wrong with you. People do that to women all the time, but they don't do it to men.
They praise men who are single. Oh, you're smart.
You're not married. You're smart.

You're not this. You're smart.
You're not. But then women are like, why are you single? Well, because I don't want to be with the man who's smart for being single.

Like, cause I want to be with someone who I actually am in alignment with, you know. And right now, I might not have that.
Like, that's why. Like, so I feel like people, you know,

whatever.

So I just don't want people to always feel like being single is a weapon, you know, like it's not, you know, even though I have not been single a lot in my lifetime, but I know a lot of women who feel like that, that's like a weapon form against them.

Like when Kendra G was on our podcast, you see that. And every comment on our thing is like, you're not married.
You're single. You're single.
You're old and single.

Like they're telling her that every day. And it's like, okay, like, so what? And y'all men are probably single or very unhappy in your relationship.
Miserable. Hate her.

Never loved her like Brian McKnight. Never was

crazy. So it's like whatever.
Like they'll praise someone in an abusive, toxic relationship and be like, wow, they're married, but they're probably getting their ass beat every night.

So, all right, let me ask you this.

Oh, as like as you get older,

you say that you don't feel like time is running out. Yeah.
But like, if when you start dating, yeah.

And if like, what, what, like, what's the timeline to know, like, I know I'm going to be with this person? or are you more, like, say, quick to like, say, let's be together? Or

no, I'm not quick to say, let's be together, but I will say that I haven't dated a lot in my life, but I feel like when I meet someone and it's a connection, like, I won't, I'll know immediately if, like, oh, I could be fucked up.

First day. Yeah, I could know very quickly, energetically, like, oh, I could mess with this person or I could really rock with this person long term.

And like, you know, I usually we both feel that connection. And it's like, okay, like, you want to do this or you want to, like, what are we doing or whatever the case is, you know?

Have you ever dated somebody and that y'all been dating so long? You'd be like, all right, so what are we? I never had to go through that. No.
But I know a lot of women who went through that.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, are we like, what's going on? Yeah, but because I have a strong belief, if I have to ask, what are we? Or what's going on? We're not doing, we're not nothing.

Cause I feel like if a man wants to be with you, he's going to be like, we're together. Like, that's the situation I've had.

Like, you ain't got nobody else like we're together make sure everybody knows clean your shit up like no remember we said this on the episode if you dating a man for like three four months and you ask him what's going on you are officially some work exactly I agree I think you're some work after that

you are officially the work that's what you are

and don't even know it And don't even know it. I think so too.

I think your work, but I think a lot of women know, and I think that a lot of women like to stay in the gray area because once you ask, you're going to get the answer you know you don't want.

So you just don't say nothing. More women like being work than in relationships.
I don't think that's true, bro. That's true.

Where are you coming up with this? More women love to be work than in a relationship. That is so false.
That is not false.

You think that women want to be somebody's sex toy? I didn't say that. Work is someone's sex toy, basically.
I'm a sex doll. That's not it.
Then what is it? Work. What is work? Divine work.

You some work. What is some work? You can't just say that.
Somebody I just hang out with. Yeah, no, women don't like that.
That's why women are like, what are we?

What are we?

They do.

You don't think women are like, what are we? What are we doing?

Because most likely you work to the man, but

the woman look at the man probably like some work.

You know what I'm saying?

And it's women that like that.

I don't know. I feel like, you know,

I don't feel comfortable. Like, I've been in a situation before where I was dating somebody and he was very like, what are we? What are we? What are we?

And, you know, like, we, we were just dating, like, weren't sexual and like he was catching a lot of feelings. And I felt really guilty.
So I get what the game felt.

Like, I felt like, oh my God, I know that I don't want to be with this man, but like, also. So I'm going to take these dinners.
No, it wasn't the dinner. It was that.
This is what it was.

I'm going to be honest.

It was that he was such a nice guy and everyone was like oh my god he's a nice guy like he would never cheat on you he would never this he's handsome he's so like he was like the perfect on paper right and i was like i know this and i should want this man like i need to want him i need to love him like and i just literally couldn't do it and i was like oh my god and i was forcing myself like i have to try to like him because this is the man i should marry this is the man i should be with like he's so nice And I don't want to be the woman where it's like, you don't like a nice man because I do, but it was just something about him where I was like, I can't get into it.

And like romance, I couldn't even mention something.

And then the next day it's like, oh, here, like just everything, the thoughtful, the romance, that this, everything was there, except the connection was there, not there.

And I knew without the connection, I couldn't have a real relationship. So I would tell him, like, look, I don't know.

I would be very transparent and honest the whole time because I was like, I don't know if this is what I want really. I don't feel it.
And he would just force it, press it.

And I'm like, finally, I was like, look, I feel so bad, but I just can't, I can't get into it. Like, I'm sorry.
And I know I broke his heart. Like, I felt so sick, but I was honest the whole time.

The more and more I sit across from you, I feel like I'm your therapist.

I know you're lying. I know you're lying.
You're a lie therapist. No, because

I'm listening to a lot of your stories and I'm sitting here just hearing you out.

Okay. So what is your assessment? What do you think? What do you think I need?

That's my therapist.

What would you say that I need?

I'll write down a full evaluation for you and have it for you in the morning. I appreciate that.
Send me the invoice, honey. Oh, man.

Okay, so before we wrap up, there's this man.

I just think that people are doing too much. It is my opinion.
This man said, I'm a very simple man, and i have no business being with someone who has both parents still alive because i'm not

he said look at he said i'm not comforting you through two parental losses i'm sorry i'm good

that makes some sense though so he's gonna get you an old lady he want an old lady

because most girls who parent he said he don't want a girl whose parents are alive so you dealing so you you looking for he must be a he an older man so he looking for a lady that's probably in her late 40s 50s.

Or, I don't know. Maybe he don't really want that.
And he wants a younger. This is my thing.
People have preferences. You have both parents.
People have preferences that ain't even preferenced before.

Like, what do you want?

Now it's. His emotional toll on that is could be devastating.
I get that. I have both of my parents.
I'm just like, I don't really, like, I get it, but it's like, damn, this is now the stipulations.

And I think that that's why more people are being alone than ever. Because y'all got stipulations on everything.

Don't have two parents can't do this can't have never did this can't have never like it's too much like damn like and then you wonder people have all these expectations you got to do this you got to be buying me my nails and my things on the spot the second day you got to be the like what is it a man too much or is the woman too much both both no i think women more women definitely more nails hair yeah because a woman came on here i actually put this she said that if a man's not paying for her nails after two weeks of talking and getting early stage gifts, then it's over.

Damn. Yeah.

Early stage gifts. It's blowing me.
So you could pretty much buy, you just, you just hiding your prostitution. Yeah.
You're, you're a prostitute. Yeah.
100%.

I think we in a generation, more prostitutional, the more transactional prostitution than ever before. And you know what? This girl, she's like an Instagram model.

Her name is like Chinese Kitty or something. She looks like all done up, like the BBL, all the surgeries or whatever.
And she basically said,

I need a man to make 10 million to keep up with my baddie lifestyle because I need my injections. I need my this, I need my that.
I need all the things that I need.

And I'm just like, I'm so confused about how everything is a transaction. But what I thought about was she says that confidently because men will do it.

Like there's men that are like, okay, like I'll buy you. What's up? Like, and so you feel like you can do that.

Men and women are both responsible for this transactional relationship era that we're living in because it wouldn't even be happening if the man didn't purchase it. Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, we forgot about having real connection and real love in relationships. That's like for a lot of people have gone out the window.

And for someone like me, like with old school parents and old school values, like I need real connection and real love. Like, you can't buy me at all.

If my girl can't make gumbo, I ain't messing with her. I'm crying.
Ooh, what about that one? Oh, come on. I can't make it.
No, this new school can't make no gumbo.

If they can't make that, she's got to get that rule going.

She can't make that rule. I'm good.
You got to stir that rule. You got to stir that rule.

This is the daily fantasy segment brought to you by Prize Picks, where you can win real cash by playing Daily Fantasy. Use code T-A-D and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first five.

So, Paul, we're going to do a little segment. It's called Daily Fantasy.
And basically,

I want you love a good fantasy? I love a good fantasy. Okay.
Come on. You love a good fantasy, honey.

So, okay.

I want to know in a relationship, what do you feel like would be your fantasy? And it doesn't have to be anything like sexual. It can be just like, what do you feel like? Because my fantasy.
Yeah.

Man, for a relationship. Yeah.
A fantasy. Ooh, my fantasy? Yeah, like in a relationship, what would be your perfect like, what is a fantasy that you just want fulfilled? Fantasy.

Yeah, if you can have anything fulfilled in your relationship

is

for the woman to hold accountability. Fantasy.

That's a fantasy to you. That's a fantasy.
You don't feel like no woman holds accountability ever. Man, what?

That's crazy.

That's my fantasy. You want to know what my fantasy is? For a man not to cheat on me to know if I love him?

Yeah. Get into that.

Yeah, that's a fantasy that I don't have to struggle for love, honey. So, what you say, you've been cheating on all your relationships? Yeah, 100%.
I don't, I don't ever been with nobody.

And, you know, maybe I did something wrong in a past life, but I'm telling you, my fantasy. Did you stay with them after they cheated? Yeah, I did.
Maybe I was in love with them. That's love.

I was in love with them, or was it dumb as hell?

Which one is it?

Because honestly, I feel like for me,

I want to have, my fantasy is to not have to struggle for love. Like I feel like in reality, a lot of women struggle first in order to have love.
And men, like you said,

this is from your mouth, should cheat on their women to see if they really love them.

Oh, so you want to drag someone through the mud in order to see if you love them and test them and do all these things, but you're hurting this person in the process.

And to me, I fantasize about not having to be strong. I don't want to be strong.
When people tell me you're strong, I don't like that.

I know I am, but I fantasize about a world. You want a real fantasy.
Come on. That's a real fantasy.

That's a real fantasy. I fantasize about not having to be strong my whole life.
In every relationship, dating a man, it takes strength. A fantasy is supposed to be something that's like,

oh.

And that for you is holding women accountable.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, you're being

bringing you to tears.

And no, it's not that bad. You're just thinking about it because you're fantasizing about that.
I'm fantasizing about not having to struggle for love, which is so incredible. That's ah.

Imagine I have a love where I'm not crying and I'm not going through it and I'm not sad and I'm not getting this, cheating, I'm not getting lied to, and I'm not getting hurt. That's a fantasy.

Man, come on. That's a fantasy.
Yours is women holding you accountable. It can be a fantasy, I guess.
Like, you get women holding themselves accountable. That's not awesome.
That is. Yes, that is.

Right. So that's ah to you.
So you've never been with any woman that was accountable.

That's a tough one.

That's a tough one. That's wild to me.
What about

another fantasy? Do you have anything else? Yeah, for sure. So a fantasy for me is like, all right, just like, you know, a hard day.

You've been working and grinding as a man, thinking about how you can build, get to the next level. And then you come home and,

you know, you got the LEDs rolling. Okay.

You got

the sexy lingerie on. Okay.

Bath, water ran. Okay.

Fireplace.

You got

the foot bath right there.

You got

the big feather.

What's the big feather?

The big feather.

This is coming to America. This is my fantasy.
You asked most of my family. Okay, so what's a big feather? Please tell me.
Just a big feather. I don't know.
Like a

coming to America type thing. Like a big feather.
Like you could just, you know. Oh, so she's fanning you down with the feather.
Yeah, yeah. This is crazy.
So she's giving you a foot bath

and fattening you. I have to say, or is it two different? Is one woman? Essential oils burning.
I'm trying to set the mood up. You killing the mood.

I'm trying to set the picture up for the people who are watching this to see this. Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead. You know, and you keep jumping in it.
Okay, go ahead.

The foot bath, the massage table right there. We got the LED lights moving.
It's low and dim with the fireplace going

on the TV. It's probably like got some.

Well, no, no, you know what? As a matter of fact, the TV just going to be playing some soft music.

And then I'm going to come in,

have the robe ready for me. Boom.

Jump in the shower, get bathed, get bathed, the bathing. Love it.
That's cracking. That's the, you know, cracking, get bathed.
Boom. Come out, toweled up, towel dried off.

Jump on the massage table, get rubbed down. Okay.

The rubbed down.

Once I get off the massage table, I set up the table. There's some wine and a meal.

Man, here we go.

Feel my belly up.

Making me not think about nothing. Then I come from the dinner table, sit on the couch with my feet right there.

Your feet right there. In the foot bath.
In the foot bath, the foot bath is rolling.

Okay. This is my family.
Okay, I'm listening.

I'm not. Damn, I'm painting a picture.
Okay.

And then the feather come back.

The feather come back is blowing me. So now all I got on now is just a robe with my feet, nothing on, just a robe.

Just naked robe on. Yeah, yeah leave it open just open up like this lay my head back

getting feathered up what is it

what is getting feathered up the coconut oil come out okay then we get the coconut oil with the candles rolling maybe get the hot wax and drip that down you know get the hot wax what is the

this is my fantasy

what is the hot wax you know get the candle the wax okay okay yeah and drip it all down the body. Just probably in my inner thigh area where it kind of stings and it kind of gets me, get it jolted me.

You know what I'm saying?

And then it jolts me. It gets me going.
Like, ooh, ooh, you know? And then it's like, ooh.

Man, then, you know, then that's when my lady come around from behind me with the feather.

And then, you know.

The feather is blowing me. And I just sit back and put my head back.

Okay. And then, you know,

then you, if you know, you know.

Okay. Come on, feather.
It's the feather for me. It's the feather.
Okay. It's the feather for me.
I'm about to bring a feather in so you can see what I'm talking about. Okay.
Yeah.

I'm excited to see that.

Okay. Well, I love your fantasy.
You know what I'm saying? That's what it is.

What was mine? That's mine. Well, thank you to our good friends at Prize Picks, America's number one sports pick app.
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Okay, so one last thing. Ghosting.
So a woman said ghosting is sinful and it disrespects a person's God-given dignity. Do you feel that way?

Like if you ghost someone without any communication or I know you don't feel that way because you seem like you just ghost anybody at any time.

That's me. Paul Ghost Pierce.
I don't like that because for me personally, I don't like a ghosting because it lacks courage. It lacks responsibility.
And it lacks yesterday.

Let me tell you what goes into ghosting. What goes into it? What goes into it? You know what it is.
What is it? And women fail time and time again to hold accountability.

When a man ghosts you, it's just not for nothing. It's something, but

he don't have to sit and argue about it. He just, he good.
I'm just good. I'm good.
Ain't no need to explain it. You know what it is.
I think that's weird and tactical. It's not weird.

Learn to communicate as a person. Well, it's not, I'm not in a full-blown relationship with you, first of all.
Yeah.

Ghosting don't happen in a full-blown relationship, it happens with somebody you're talking to, hanging out with, doing this or something. You're talking to and hanging out with someone.

At least you could be like, I'm not emotionally invested like that either.

You're not, but the other person probably is.

Okay. Well,

I personally, I've never been ghosted before, but and I never ghosted anybody.

Huh? You ain't never been ghosted? No.

Like, I don't talk to people to where it's just like casual to where you just ghost me. Like, I don't have casual relationships.
Yeah. But I've also been in a relationship most of my life.

So I don't have like all these dating fling things because I've been in serious relationships most of my life. Yeah.
So, you know, I'm a relationship person.

But I just feel like the ghosting thing, like, I would at least tell someone, like, look, this is just not for me. What if he texts you back like, I'm good?

What do you mean? But then don't say nothing after that. Like just text me.
I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. Love and joy.
I mean, I guess I'm not going to hit nobody up. If they're texting me like I'm good or I'm falling back, like I'm just going to be like, okay, like

cool.

Like I'm not going to, I'm not going to ever fuck with you again. Like, I'm not chasing no, but I'm not that person.
Like, I'm cool.

If I'm in a relationship with someone, yes, I'm going to be like, hello. Like, you got me fucked up.
But if it's just someone that I'm dating or something weird and they're just like, cool, I'm okay.

Bye. Okay.

Okay. There was more to talk about, but we got to wrap it up.
Thank you guys so much

for joining our episode. Make sure you guys are subscribing.
commenting, telling us other topics that you want to hear from either Paul, myself, or both of us.

Feedback, all of that jazz. We love to hear from you guys.
We really appreciate the support. Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Anything you want to say to the people, Paul?

Enjoy the holidays.

You are crazy. Enjoy the holidays.
Yeah, enjoy the holidays. All right.
Thank you. We love you.
We love you down.

This is the taking over the game.

All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.

Do you think that men or women are more toxic?

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