Humble Baddies - Breakfast Club Drama: Jess Hilarious vs. Loren Lorosa + Sexyy Red talk criticism

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I get in my way, never out of my another episode of the Humble Baddies podcast. I'm here, Ashley Nicole, and I got my girls with me.
I'm Sheryl Ransato. And I'm Alexis Stoudemire and we am the Allabattie what's up y'all happy hump day we are back it's Wednesday everybody good what's everybody been up to Sherelle good to see you I'm looking real clear real clear yeah your wifi is today Okay.
Are you still in the motherland? Are you is Wi-Fi Today Okay Are you still in the motherlands? Well I am Okay What's going on over there? What's that? I had two people go up on the contract yesterday Well Okay It's still yesterday because it's one o'clock. I mean, congratulations.
I mean, it's. I need a bell.
That's awesome. Well, I just came back from the beach, you know, it's spring break.
Actually though, there were like, it was very calm in South Beach. Like, there's no spring breakers in South Beach.
I was like, where are all the people at? So, you know, they put out that commercial. Like, they did not want spring breakers in South Beach.
And I love that. I saw women from South Beach.
They don't have to be now, though. No, I was just there before.

They're not there.

Last week I was there

and I get pulled over.

So I have my front window

is headed.

But I have a doctor's letter

because I get headaches

when the sun just

shines bright on me.

Every time I get pulled over.

The police presence.

They pull you over

with your veterans tag

and everything?

Everything.

And I was like,

sir, you're with your mom.

Oh.

Well, anyways.

I thought it was going to be crazy crowds out there. I thought it was going to be girls going wild out there, but it was not.
It was real calm and cool and collected. I heard all the Spring Breakers are in like Fort Lauderdale now.
You know, they up north. They probably up on Daytonaa Beach, like those other beaches because South Beach not having it anymore.
Yeah. And speaking of spring break, my babies are on spring break and it's actually been very quiet around the house because they are with their dad.
So I'm low-key having an adult spring break. You know, it's a lot between school, work, all these things that the children are balancing too.
And us parents who monitor their calendars and have to schlep them all over the place, we need this break too as spring breakers, you know, the parents. But I have an extra spring break just because I get to have a quiet home.
So like I'm living in paradise over here, enjoying it, only cooking for one, a little key, you know, things like that. And I kind of can move when I want to move.
So I appreciate that. So shout out to the co-parent for, you know, holding it down over there while the boys are in the girl, you know, a raise in and out, but like the boys, he got the boys.
So I'm having, I'm having a good time over here. I sent my kids on a cruise.
Oh, I love that. Oh no.
But they came back sick. My daughter, both my daughter and Denham, they have the stomach virus.
It's from the cruise. Oh man, that's the worst, especially coming off a vacation.
You want to have a good time and not be worrying about that. None of that stuff.
Yeah, I can't do it. I just finished my last lab, guys, in culinary school.
Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much.
So I'm like double celebrating this. Quiet.
I'm taking care of business. Yeah.
So when can we officially call you? Almost. I have an entrepreneurship class and then externship in a commercial kitchen.
And then you can call me Chef Lett. Okay.
The question is, when are you going to cook? Oh, you can always have some food. I'm always cooking.
We coming for Shabbat. Yes, thank you so much.
Let's do that. I'm down.
Since the house is empty, we'll come and fill it up. We'll come and fill our bellies.
Thank you. My house is always open.
Always, always, always. Well, I want to give a shout out to my mom, Miss Yvette, because she is officially Dr.
Yvette Roberts. I know that.
Okay, OG. Yeah.
She just recently, actually yesterday, I logged in and watched her defend her thesis. She is getting her, she got her doctorate in, I think, like education, something, something, something.
I don't know. It don't matter.
But she's a doctor now. Okay.
So, she can dress her as such. So, Dr.
Lami, I am so proud of you. I love you so much.
And go, you girl. You did your thing.
So proud. And is she going around saying that, too? Like, and dress me as a humble batty dog? You can't call her nothing else but Dr.
Lami. I know that's right.
That's it. Okay, she earned that.
Yes, she did. That's what it is.
Shout out to Dr. Roberts.
Yeah, shout out to Dr. Roberts.
The original OG hat. Humble Batty of the day.
Humble Batty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, let's get into it. Now that we didn't caught up and, you know, I'm seeing everybody.
Everybody's good. Everybody's living and thriving.
Let's get into the first topic the first topic we have is kylie jenner sparks reactions after calling herself the original baddie in new photos did any of y'all see that that's cute but it's a mess because Car, now you know, girl, you are not the original baddie. You're so young to be the original anything.
Exactly. I mean, what was she referring to? Let's put out original meaning like original means OG.
First of all, put some respect on Kim Kardashian. Yes, Ashley.
Because if it wasn't for Kim, it would be no you. Like for real, like Kim Kardashian, if we talk about an OG, she's the OG.
Like, so what is Kylie talking about? I mean, she literally set the path for her and her sisters. Like she has give credit where credit is due.
That's cute, though. I mean, that's cute.
She wants to be pregnant. I wouldn't even say it's Kim.
I was going to say that, too. Let's really take it up for that.
The mom just set her up business. It's really like the face of everything she holds it down for like the family like at the end of the day whenever it's anything like big in the tabloids or whatever like it's kim but it's not it's not the mom that we're talking about it's kim that we're talking about you know what i'm saying kim is the og but that's cute kylie is cute's...
But let's give Kylie her flowers in her own way because she is a billionaire. And she's a baddie.
She's just not the living. She's not the original.
And we ain't even talking about the Kardashians. We're talking about, like, we have other people out there.
We have, what, Lil' Kim. We've got Rihanna.
We have a whole plethora of other women that have been out there that are original babies before she even came to the picture. So that was definitely a bold statement for her to caption that she is the original.
But, Lil' Key, let me just throw this out there, too. Like, our generation of the ladies, my kids, for example, they know about Kim being married to Kanye and having the kids, right? Where our children are more like looking at her because the father of her children is Travis Scott.
And she has the lip kits, all these things. And pretty much we saw her growing up.
So she is basically, you know, Hollywood elite. She's part of this America's First Family, you know, in hindsight.
So I see the evolution of her, but at the same time, to call herself the original baddie, that's pretty high on the list. Great confidence, you know, but, you know, I wish her the best with that.
I mean, honestly, I feel like she should actually be a little bit more humble. Because like I said, I feel like her mom, MK, like her sisters, she's the baby.
She is the baby. That's right.
You have people to learn from and people who, you know, made mistakes that you could learn from. You know I mean so I don't know that comes off really really not a humble baddie but she a baddie though she a baddie she's not an OG baddie and it did come off humble but it's cute though I mean she did she ain't the original baddie she a baddie but she ain't the original let's get that straight.
Let's put that out there. I love that, though.
Shout out to Kim, though. Kim and Kris and the whole Kardashian clan, for example.
Yeah. Got it.
Do y'all feel like she intentionally or was she throwing shade at someone to make a post like that and say the original original thing? I mean, with all these millions of followers, I'm sure she is top 10, right? I mean, I'm just going to assume. It's definitely going to give a little topic of conversation, hence why we're talking about it now.
It's trending. It's all over the place, especially because she's in the beauty space, too influence.
And, you know, she's known that her lip could sell out and she has, you know, her baby girl Stormy is wearing the hottest, you know, sneakers and the whole line of everything. So she is really just being out there.
I feel like it's always a little bit of calculated, you know, energy behind it, just for the marketing purposes, as well as look at mama and look at just how they have built everything. So of course it's a little bit of, um, a little bit of poking at press and, and her followers and everything like that, just for us to talk about it.
I mean, it might be the original lip kit is coming out being resurfaced or whatever the case may be. And she also knows that people talk about her looks, her plastic surgery, her transformations and her ugly duckling stages and all these things.
So I think she's kind of owning it and also just want us to talk about it. Maybe she meant of her generation, like her age group maybe she means she's the og of her you know age group i'm trying to figure out the og part of it i mean you know we gotta give her credit she is a businesswoman she is like you said um she's like one of the most followed people on social media, You know, I mean, it is what it is.
So I think there is like some truth behind what she's saying. It's just weird to say, OG.
Oh, no, I just feel like calling herself the original Betty. It's like you ignoring all the women who paved the way before you.
It's like, girl, you ain't the one. She should be a humble baddie.
So she should have put that out there, humble, original. We'll see.
Original should never been in that caption, baby. Because people did spin it and really kind of started talking stuff about original.
They were just like, original what?

Original where? Like, what's original?

You know.

First of all, pause. Why my mama

just texted me talking about she waiting on her shout

out? Girl, you lost it late.

Tell her that she's going to have to hit the replay.

Okay. Tell her to rewind.

The original.

See, look at that. The OG original

humble baddie mama. Want her shout out.
Listen out listen Ma I already shouted you out okay Dr. Roberts you got some shout out I'm gonna shout you out again shout out to Dr.
Roberts she's a real humble baddie she's a real OG she's more of a blueprint baddie right hence that's what you were saying right Rao Rae? Like the OGs and like, think about the ones before you. You have to think about the ones before you.
Just not original, Betty. You ain't the original.
And that's that, period. That's that.
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Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. yes yes yes

really monitor traffic and weather conditions. Yes, yes, yes.
Rel, you got topic two for us. You want to keep it moving? Are we, you know? How you feeling? Sexy Red.
And while she is the most hated rapper in the industry. What's the most hated? She's the most hated female rapper.
Most hated female rapper. She said that because she is getting criticized in regards to it.
She did a podcast with Big Boys Neighborhood for an exclusive interview and she didn't hold back, y'all. She addressed that she receives so much hate online.
But I feel like, you know, us as women, we dive into it because we always see hate, but she's taking it to intentional. And the thing about it, she has to understand she is very talented.
She makes music. People are tuned in.
Just because you have that hate, you have more people supporting you. That's why you're on top.
So sex to rich, remember, like, if if they ain't talking if you ain't got no handiest you can probably let them know I feel like all rappers though have made this statement at some point though I feel like all rappers feel like everybody hates them everybody's against them you know like I feel like that's part of the rapper, like,

persona, like,

you know,

fuck my haters type thing. You know what I'm saying?

Like, that cockiness, that

just...

You know what I mean?

But it

goes harder for females.

Like, we get criticized

more as, you know, as

females, and they're in that rapper category because it's predominantly male um she talked about things that a lot of people are not uncomfortable a lot of people are not comfortable speaking on i mean we did have prena little kim yeah i think all the female rappers whenever they like are on top and they're like speaking their mind and they're in their own lane, they all get like some sort of like, you know, they get this big following of hate. But it's still a following.
You know what I mean? People are still following everything they do, everything they say. Like, so I feel like haters are still they're like low key.
Like they they they still fuck with you It's just, they don't know it yet. It's interesting because, you know, Sexy Red has definitely made a lane for herself.
She is, like, I feel she is very relatable to a lot of the young girls in the hood. And really just like, that are trying to make make it single mamas out there grinding, hustling for their kids and shout out to Missouri.
You know, like that's a show me state. That's where we're known from.
That's where I'm from. And we like to let people know who we are and really be ourselves.
And I feel like she is really just the epitome of like, I'm going to have these babies. I'm going to do this.
I got a little bread. I'm going to take care of home.
I'm going to talk my shit. And I'm going to be creative and be myself.
Going back to seeing her at Rolling Loud live, the crowd was so engaged with her presence and her energy. She is top notch for me.
I was a believer. At first, I was like, okay, she's got a lot to talk about.
And, you know, who that's making me like rail said, a little uncomfortable, but she's expressing her creative side. And she has a lane where she is very comfortable in.
And, you know, I like to, to really give her her flowers and her way, just because she was out there in her sneakers and really dancing, engaging with the audience. And they loved it.
So I was asked, she has hits. I mean, she's like what Drake got a hit with her.
So she's becoming mainstream. And we're talking about her.
And I think she just represents just a lot of what is America and what people and just really, you know, have come from the gutter and really have tried to make a name for themselves. She represents that in so many ways.
And I hate that she feels that hate. But again, I feel like what Ashley, you said as far as, you know, this is the rapper's persona.
They all are very sensitive about their craft, too, you know, at the end of the day. And I think she just has to stay herself.

That's what has gotten her this far.

And as long as she's not hurting anybody,

like just do you, you know?

I hate that she feels that way though,

but it goes in ebbs and flows.

Different, yeah.

Yeah.

I agree.

So I'm curious though.

Yeah, that's true. Tell me y'all top three female rappers.
Sherelle, go. Wait.
Yeah. We have to, we have to change it up.
I can't, I have, we have to do different eras. Ooh.
I see what you did there, real. Okay.
Tell me just your top three who you're playing right now it don't have to be top I can't compare my old school female reference to my new school tell me who you're playing right now though who you're playing right now right now I got top three right now, Turkey. Nikki Minaj, Sexy Red.
She got some hits. And Lotto.
Okay, who you got? I have Nikki. I have Lotto.
And I have Glow. Okay.
Okay. Glow.
Glow. I was in there like oh oh yeah talk to me sis talk to me yeah yeah but i'm gonna go with um who i'm gonna go with you already said nikki Minaj is my top.
Have y'all heard of Mona Leo?

No.

No.

Look her up. is my top.
Have y'all heard of Mona Leo?

No.

No.

Were you working out?

You have good taste in music, Ash.

Play that.

And then Doji. I was thinking her.

Is she considered a rapper?

Is she considered?

Yeah.

I like her. That means, is Doja considered rapper too yeah I think so yeah yeah I just think I think the women are just doing it what'd you say what about old school? The Ill Nana.
Yeah.

That is it.

Missy Ellis.

Ooh, Missy.

And Lil' Kim.

Yeah, Lil' Kim.

Dang.

I mean, ooh, that's our old school generation because we can even go back to like you have

Queen Latifah,

Lauryn Hill,

MC White,

The Brat.

Ooh.

That's another good one.

Ratatatat.

It's Ratatat.

You're taking me back.

Yeah.

Oh, y'all.

I want to have an Atlanta party

at my house

where we play only like, well, mostly like Atlanta like well mostly like Atlanta music and we got to dress like 2000s Atlanta like white tees dress slouch socks and like all the Atlanta rap music I like that let's do that y'all do that. Let's do that.
Let's do it. Y'all know, Georgia is, that's me.
So I'm going to be Rage Ash. Okay.
I love that. I love that.
What you got for us, Ash? Oh, go ahead. I feel like back to Sexy Red in regards to, I feel like we don't support and rap for our female rappers like we should.
I feel like people jump on the bandwagon and just push. But as much hate, there should be more celebration because she is paving the way.
Even though some people don't like the way she, what she talk about or what she rap about, but generations before

spoke and talk about

the same thing.

You have your male rappers

degrading women

talking about stuff

and people vibe to it,

but as soon as a female

come and speak on it,

it's like,

oh, she nasty.

She, like,

don't nobody want to hear

that type of music,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But she's making hits.

Yeah, she's making hits,

but I feel like,

you know,

also,

this day and age,

I feel like

Thank you. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But she's making hits. Yeah, she's making hits.
But I feel like, you know, also this day and age, I feel like people are sensitive and it's always been pushed back. It's always been like somebody who doesn't like what you are putting out, what you're doing, what you're saying, what you're wearing.
Like, it's always going to be that. And we need to just be reinforcing like self-love and like believing in yourself and not listening to what other people say and just going out there and doing your thing and stop putting so much energy into the haters like it's always some people be people out here who don't like what we're doing it's people who don't like the humble baddies podcast and they all go to hell but are we still gonna show up and do what we got to do.
You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't need to give our energy into the people who are hating us. There are so many people that love us, who are supporting us, who do love our music, who do love our podcast, who do want to hear what we have to say, who do, you know, just enjoy whatever we are putting out into the world.
And those are the people that we need to be speaking energy into and giving all of our, you know, energy to. So

I feel like, you know, it's always going to be haters. Ignore the haters and keep you doing

sexy red. Like we see you, you're being seen and keep doing what you're doing.
But the good thing

about it, the haters are the ones that keep you relevant because they're always on you.

Yeah, if they're not hating on you, you ain't doing it right. And shout out to Cardi B and Meg Thee Stallion, too.
I know we didn't mention them, but they are forces of their own. You know, I just I really enjoy being very confident in my skin with the ladies.
They are very much, they just,

we just have fallen in love with these ladies and really much can feel empowered by them.

So shout out to all the ladies,

all the rappers that are doing their thing

because you're necessary and needed.

For sure.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

All right, y'all.

So the next topic I would like to talk about is Nelly and Ashanti. So he recently did an interview where he mentioned that one of the reasons that he decided to marry Ashanti was so that she would not be a baby mama.
so what do you guys think about that? Do you think that is, you know, is that him being a gentleman or do you think that's like, I don't know, a cop out or like, what do you guys think about that? I think he really loves Ashanti and he genuinely married her because he loves her.

I think her becoming

pregnant, which sped

up the process, but he genuinely

genuinely

loves her.

And

I respect it.

And he has

so much love for her that he don't want

the public to call her his

baby mama.

Do you think there is something wrong

Thank you. And he has so much love for her that he don't want the public to call her his baby mama.

Okay, so do you think there is something wrong with being called a baby mama? I think it's some stigma in our communities for that, for sure.

You know, because I feel like in other communities it's partner or, you know, significant other child, mother, father, my child, you know.

Do the white people call their baby mama baby mama? I think they do because we normalize it. Yeah.
I ain't never heard no white man call his baby mama. I don't think so.
That's what I'm saying. I don't.
Ask somebody. I don't think so.
But I mean, I think they say it in more so like this generation of I don't have to be married to have a baby. You know what I'm saying? Or whatever the case may be.
But I feel like, you know, I kind of try to shy away from saying baby mama because low key, I'm nobody's baby mama. Like as much work as I put in, as much soul and time that I put into these kids, I'm their mother.
So you're going to respectfully put me on that pedestal and make sure everyone else is calling me that too. So I feel like with Nellie, this is, he's showing us growth.
He's showing us so many like he, that he loves, that he loves her. He's like, you're not going to, this woman that is carrying my child, I am now old enough.
Yeah, you, you, that is my wife. She is the mother of my children and you're going to address her as such.
And I feel like that has to be put on a pedestal too because low key, you're not going to always just get married after having a baby. Like people, you know, aren't using protection.
You might turn around and not like the person the next week. It happens.
It very much so well happens. So, you know, I feel like people, we got to change the stigma of calling people baby mama, baby daddy, but I feel like it comes from a heaviness or something that's going on between the relationship of the parents and not thinking about the child.
Because I feel like we have to be very much healthy in our situations, in our homes, really raising these kids. And he's trying to do the right thing of now bringing this child up in a two-parent household, which we know statistically is better.
And he's trying to do it right. So shout out to Nelly for that because we want that.
And I respect Nelly. Like, she knows that Ashanti is an icon.
She is that girl. Like, you're not about to, y'all not about to disrespect my wife.
This is who she is. She is my wife.
Yeah. We need more of this.
We need more of people, men making their girls their wives. Like, we need more representation of this, you know? Because a lot of times I feel like every day we're seeing so-and-so is pregnant, so-and-so is having a baby.
So, you know, we don't see a lot of so-and-so is getting married. So I think that's important.
Yeah, I agree. I'd rather have two healthy parents in two separate households than, you know, two parents and one under one roof of resentment.
Like, it's just not healthy at all. So he's putting out that energy of, look, this is what it is.
We out here. I love it.
I mean, I'd rather be called a co-parent, a partner, mother of my children.

Do you think when I so I'm going to take it back in and ask a question that will be very controversy. If she was not pregnant, do you think he would have married her? I think so, because, you know, right in there.
I think so. because that statement that he made was,

I married her so she wouldn't be... That is why people are in an uproar.
Like, she wouldn't be labeled as a baby mama. So I don't think the response should have been that.
Because now it's making it look like, oh, he only married her so she wouldn't be labeled labeled as a baby. I think he did the right thing.
It's just we have to give credit where credit is due. And keep in mind, they did date in the past.
So this is almost like that saying of if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours.
So they have history. They have a history of they know each other.
It's not like it was rushed, like I just met her and now she's pregnant. So let me lock it down because I'm grown now.
No, it's really a sense of, you know what? I'm doing something different this time. We have a child.
We're building a legacy. We're breaking generational curses and that energy of not marrying the mother of our children.
So he's trying to start a new legacy and really continue his musical legacy and really transform his really just his persona of now he's a family man and he can settle down and he can be focused on his family and doing everything for them. So low key, I feel like it was next.
It should have been marriage. You the baby got there a little bit before, but it should have been marriage anyway if they're bringing it back around and you don't want her to be with no one else.
And y'all see the difference now between when y'all were younger seven or eight years ago to now when you're grown and make these sound decisions. It actually is better.
I'm glad they brought a baby up now later on than seven years ago. I'm so confused as to why people get in such an uproar about who's getting married or whatever or who's not, but it's okay to have a baby.
Like, oh, she's pregnant. Married is hard.
You know what I mean? Like, it's just weird.

Like, why would you guys be okay with her just being

pregnant and being a baby mama?

Why is that more

acceptable and more

less controversial

than him actually

wanting to make her his wife?

I think people are in the uproar

because of the statement he said. I didn't want her to be labeled as the baby mama.
So it's making people like dive in on oh well you just married her because you got her pregnant. Yes we know she had a previous relationship they had a previous relationship but why say you know I only married, not I only but I don want people to like for her as my baby mama.
That's why people aren't. People be getting caught up in these words and losing it.
Like, y'all don't know that relationship. And then y'all be so happy when they got back together.
Why wouldn't y'all be happy that he's been happy? Exactly. It's like, it's always going to be something.
Love it. I'm happy.
I love it. I love Ashanti and Nelly.
Like, they are a beautiful couple. I just don't like, he don't have to.
I didn't like how I married her so she wouldn't be labeled as a baby mama. He didn't have to say that.
Like, just marry her. It's a weird thing.
Yeah. Maybe he didn't mean it like that.
But I will say, like, I was not married when I got pregnant and I didn't want to be a baby mama. I didn't want nobody to call me a baby mama either.
And I also felt like I did put pressure on Phil

to propose to me once I was pregnant,

but ultimately he didn't care about that pressure at all,

and looking back, I feel like I'm glad that I know

that he didn't marry me just because I'm pregnant.

So I feel like, yeah, like making a statement like that does kind of like stale the whole engagement. You know what I mean? Like you want to be married to somebody because they want to marry you because they want to spend the rest of their life with you, not because you're pregnant.
And so I'm just saying, like, looking back, like, I'm glad, like, I got married because, you know, we want to be together forever, not because I just happened to be pregnant. So yeah, that's a weird statement to make.
But, you know, we supposed to be minding our business and, you know, wishing people well, especially people who are, you know, doing things positively, moving in a positive direction. You know, marriage is hard.
It's not easy. So why put that? And it's not hard being pregnant and it's not hard having babies and toddlers and all these different stages either.
So you want the help. You know, you want someone there for you, but it doesn't always work out that way.
There's this influx of women that just want to be single mothers by choice. You know, they can, if they're just ready to have children and just really be a mother themselves.
So I just think we are just in this space of where we're kind of transitioning to you can really do whatever you want to do.

And there's so many labels out there now.

So it's just like, I mean, technically now I'm considered a single mom. where we're kind of transitioning to you can really do whatever you want to do.
And there's so many labels out there now.

So it's just like, I mean,

technically now I'm considered a single mom, you know?

And that shit was not by choice.

You know what I mean?

It's just my default divorce.

So it's like, you know, now I'm put in this category,

but at the same time,

I still have the help of their father

and I still am able to do the things I need to do. So the stigma is changing I feel in that kind of way and that's would you guys have pressure do you you think like you would pressure a man into marrying you if you became pregnant any one of y'all like would you try to push yourself into it and he was like I was like what you're talking about I about? It's a baby in there, and that's cool.
I'm going to be here. I'm going to be happy.
Cool. But he, like, I was like, you know, I'm pregnant.
Let's go. Let's get married.
What you waiting on? Like, he did not care. But I, you know, I was raised.
You think it's because you wanted that because of everyone else? Also, what gonna say well yeah and like that's just how i was raised that's just how i was brought up you know i thought i was gonna go to hell like all kind of things you know like yeah okay we can't bring we shaking our head can't bring a baby in this world we're not married exactly the cow before the I thought it was like my dad stopped talking to me

like I just was like, oh my God, what am I doing? I done did the worst thing ever. You know what I mean? So yeah, I did put a lot of pressure on Phil.
Looking back, that's what I'm saying. Now I feel like I'm glad that he wasn't moved by me saying like, let's get married because I'm pregnant.
Because now I know he wanted to be with me, not because of the baby. Because he looked me down in my house.
Because you don't want to force a man to marry you and be with you because you're pregnant. Because now he's marrying you for the wrong reasons.

If a man comes to me

and marry me, I want you to marry

me because you love me. Not because

he brought a child in this world.

You love me. We're going to grow together.

We're going to build together.

That does start the

energy off a little rocky

for the nuptials.

I understand what you're saying. I had three and a half babies before I got married that were out in the world thriving.
So I was definitely baby mama. I was, you know, going to the arenas all around and, you know, the name is not matching the last name of everything.
So it got annoying and doctor's appointments and things like that. but I did feel I used to bother you yeah yeah I'd be like that's the nice

you everything. So it got annoying and doctor's appointments and things like that.
But I did feel... I used to bother you.
Yeah, I'd be like, that's the baby mama. There she go.
Yeah. But you know, some states have come in law marriage.
I mean, y'all were together for years before y'all, you know, solidified it. Some states, you know, acknowledge marriage and you're not, you don't have to do the paperwork just because of how many years you've been together.
Or under the same roof too, for sure. Arizona was not having it.
My mama and daddy do not care about no common law marriage. Okay, my mama and daddy.
Common law this household Probably like, y'all, it's down there.

They know,

they know that it's helpful.

It's helpful.

Still,

mama was like,

so what y'all gonna do?

Okay.

Like,

she was dead ass.

Like,

so what's the plan?

It's big responsibilities.

It is.

It is.

Yeah.

But do y'all think that marriage

really changes a relationship or is it just paperwork? Hmm. Like, do you feel like marriage can change a relationship? Because so many people have put out, like, what marriage is supposed to be.
Like, we go into a marriage and we're like, oh, we're supposed to change. Now that that we're married we supposed to do this and it make i feel like it makes the relationship more strict um i just feel like the world has changed what what marriage really is really is and courts and especially america has scared people away from becoming married, especially men.
Because the laws are in it. When you get a divorce, you know, oh, they worry about what, what if we don't make it work and we have to go through a divorce? All that I brought to the table.
Now I have to split it and I lose a lot of things because now that we're married and we have the outside coming into our marriage, telling us what we should do once we separate. So it's a lot.
It's a lot to weigh on when you do get married, what you think about if it doesn't work. It's just it's just a lot.
Yeah. Historically, we got married because we need a credit.
You know, we need to get a job. We needed some extra income for the household.
That's how, that's what marriage really started from back in the day was, you know, in order to have your own cars, things in your name, you had to get married. And so now it's turned into like, you know, let me solidify this partnership, this relationship.
And it's really became, now I feel like it still was a business contract, but now it's become a business contract. Going back to what you said, Ro, the prenups, the options of what these things are, which is very valid and very safe and very protective and very necessary.
But it does start to hinder when you have to add the paperwork of like, you know, before we get married, let's talk about this. Because it is.
Two people, two whole people are coming together and causing one union. And now there are separation of bills.
There's one household. There's, you know, children.
There's all kinds of things, these factors. So I feel like low key, I know we've had this discussion a little bit before of like, would you get married again or things like that? But like, I'm starting to see the influx of like partnerships and like these long term committed relationships where people are just still doing what they want to do.
And whatever their marriage looks like to them is what it's going to be. Because at the end of the day, you got to live with this person.
And if y'all decide to go to your own way, you just can keep it going without like paperwork or anything like that. So it's almost like, what are the benefits of marriage outside of partnership, outside of, you know, business contracts, the piece of paper, those things like that, you know? It's just per person at this point.
What is that like? It is a business contract. It is a legal issue, a legal document.
I do think you should both have lawyers. I think you should protect yourself.
But at the end of the day, I still believe marriage is something that you do under God. You marry under God.
This is an oath that you take under God. So like, you know, you can protect yourself legally.
Like if you want to take the steps and make sure like you don't want her to get any of what you got and you don't want him, like there's ways that you can protect yourself and that's easy. I mean, it might not be the easiest conversation, but there's ways to protect yourself.
And then everything else I think is, you know, you see guidance under God, like you, you get marriage counseling, like before you get married, like there's things and there's ways to like, that might help you see marriage differently. You know what I mean? If you let all these outside worldly things stop you from seeing the greatness of what marriage can be, then yeah, it's not going to work.
But if we remember what marriage is and what it's for, what the foundation of marriage is, then I think there's a chance for it

and it might not seem so scary

because you have the tools

and you have everything that you need in place

to give it a chance to speak,

to not come from a place of fear

because I don't think that's what marriage should feel like.

It shouldn't feel, you know,

once you let all these worldly things in. It shouldn so i mean it's just unfortunate that that's where we are but um i mean it's real it's real and that's why we need more um like representation we need more people talking about it we need more men who are married to have conversations with men who aren't.
Or, you know, the men who do want to be married, like y'all need to get out here and like talk to the women and tell them like, you know, just we need to talk because I think there are people out here who still believe in marriage who still want it. They're just afraid.
It's coming from fear. I agree with you, Ashley.
A place of fear in the unknown. But it's not easy.
You have to be ready. Two willing and able participants, for sure.
Locked in. Do you all feel like if a man doesn't marry the mother of a woman that's pregnant, do you feel like he's not being responsible? Or vice versa? Like if the lady is like, you know what, we'll just keep it separate.
I feel like if a man doesn't step up and take care of the responsibility of having a child and making sure the mother of that child is in a space that's not saying that he needs to like take care of her. But if that's the mother of your child, like I do feel like there is some responsibility there.
And if he doesn't step up, then I would say he is irresponsible because bringing a child into this world changes everything, whether you're married or not. I don't think you should marry a woman just because you bring a child in this world.
Like I said before, even when it comes to Nellie and Ashanti, I feel like before a child, before anything, a man will know if he wants to marry that woman or not. Yeah, but does it make him less responsible? That's what she was saying.
Right. But if he doesn't take care of the kid and the mom in the situation, then yeah, I think it makes him less responsible.

It's not about marriage.

It's about the child.

It's about making sure that they're being taken care of and you step up differently.

You can't step up in the same way.

You can't move in the same way once you bring a child in.

You might not get married, but you definitely got to do more.

It is a difference. It's the responsibility of another human now.
once you bring a child in, you might not get married, but you definitely got to do more.

It is a difference. It's the responsibility of another human now.
It's not just like y'all are dating. It's not like you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Even though you're not married, it's changes. It's a big change.
And I think to act like it's a light, like it's something light, I think it would be an act of irresponsibility.

I understand.

I get that.

Okay.

Well, shout out.

We need more of these husbands

to speak on how happy,

happily they are in the marriage.

Is that recruiting more?

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Y'all, did y'all see what was going on with Jess Hilarious and La Rosa on The Breakfast Club?

I did. I did not like seeing that.

I didn't love it either. It wasn't great.

But at the same time, it is a platform of voicing your opinion.

It very much is like, you know, you have two masculine energies of, you know, Charlamagne and DJ Envy. And we know them as speaking their mind.
And here you have two ladies that are almost low keyword, almost pitted against each other. And it was, I'm sure, you know, Jess is very much outspoken.
Obviously, that's why she's sitting in that chair. Yeah, there's a reason why she's there.
You know what I'm saying? Same with, you know, La Rosa, same thing. You know what I mean? They're both are in their own right, just very much deserving of being there.
It was very heartbreaking to see them really kind of going at it. But then they were very honest.
I mean, obviously we need to understand why there is this energy in that small space. I personally don't listen to them on the radio.
I can't remember the last time I was listening to any talk on the radio. It's now streaming.
So now we're able to see their reactions. We're able to, in real time, really understand what they're going through.
And she's just coming off of having a baby. This is like off of maternity leave.
So I don't know how I would feel if I was out of the loop, healing myself and bringing this new life into the world, and then showing up to my job and you're replaced. Of course, my energy and my hormones are going to be heightened and I'm going to feel some kind of way because now things have kept it moving, which they should.
But at the same time, I'm going to feel like I'm, you know, replaceable, especially when you feel like you were irreplaceable. Yeah, exactly.
I feel like it first, I feel like they should have never had the conversation live. feel like they should have spoke and and talked it out it was I felt like it was a lot of miscommunication with them of course you know it can be like okay this was mine and I had this platform but now you're not hearing what I'm saying I felt like it was just too much communication and I felt like they both had good intentions,

but no one was there to help them intervene

and mediate a little bit.

Clear the air, mediate, correct.

Interesting point.

I think, you know,

the way that Anjali Yee left

from the Breakfast Club, I think kind of just should have known the environment that it might be. So it's like, you know, she left for maternity leave or whatever.
And well, first they did this big rollout for Jess. It was like this big thing.
She's coming on. You're right.
Yeah, I remember that. They did all these interviews.
It was so big. Everybody was so excited.
Everybody was so happy. Charlamagne, DJ Envy was just like, everybody was like, it was good, right? Then she was pregnant.
She has to go to maternity leave or whatever.

And then they bring in, what's her name?

Lauren LaRosa.

Like, that's her last name.

Lauren LaRosa.

Yeah.

So they bring her in.

And it's like, okay, cool.

But like, did y'all talk to Jess about it?

Like, did y'all fully?

No, she knew because Jess vouched for her.

Right, I know.

But then they said like she was only supposed to be doing her segment, right? Mm-hmm. And so I feel like something was lost in communication with when she was coming back, how that transition was going to be.
Like, that should have all been laid out. And clearly it wasn't.
And like you said, Lex, when you're pregnant, just had a baby, your hormones are all over the place. And that environment probably is a male-dominant space.
There's probably nobody speaking up for Jess in that way while she's gone you know what i mean and i think it's just kind of unfortunate that she would have to come back and have to deal with that and have to like speak up for herself but you know she's not like a corporate person like so of course she's someone he's on the radio he's a personality yeah she got to stay out you know what i mean in the way that she did it so it's like we can't get mad at her for you know like speaking her mind in the way that she does because that's where she that's how she got to where she is um and then but it's unfortunate that it's like these two black women on this black podcast huge or radio. And then to DJ Wendy and Charlamagne, I feel like they just sitting back kind of like watching them kind of have this back and forth.
You know, I feel like they, they didn't really like pick sides or anything, but they didn't really help the situation either. Yeah.
And I ain't like that at all. And I feel like, you know, seeing, you know, Angela Lee, Angela Yee Lee, you know, I can kind of see why, too.
And I think Jess said that because it's like, y'all just sitting here letting this happen. Y'all not speaking up for people.
No, I don't like to see. Show it.
Whatsoever. What are we doing? That's tough.
I just want them to win.

They're both amazing hosts.

They're both beautiful women.

They do great in their industry.

And us as Black women,

we should come together

and show that we can work together

without taking over each other's spotlight.

And those two men,

they need to be there to support them,

to help them, to keep them shy,

not throwing rocks,

trying to, oh, you know, cause confusion,

not saying that they are,

but as us, as black women,

we have to learn to work together.

We have to think together

and not put it,

if we're going through things,

the world shouldn't know about it.

Like, let's have a conversation.

Let's talk it out.

Let's figure it out

and be better at it. We's what I need.
We tired. We are exhausted.
It gets exhausting. And, you know, we can say this being Black women.
Like, we stand, you know how that term is? We're going to sit this one out because we are always graceful. We're always trying to stand up for ourselves.
We are always trying to be the, you know, the bigger person. And, you know, it gets draining and very tiring.
You know, we are tired. We're tired.
We're just exhausted from trying to overextend ourselves, really be the saviors, you know. It's just, I wish she just had a little bit more support.

Exactly.

And that's all it is,

support and communication.

Let's figure this shit out.

Let's show the world that we can work together

as Black women.

Do you think it was

a little calculating

because it was like,

we're watching it,

we're talking about it,

there's views,

there's,

it's trending.

And then to turn around,

like almost a couple days later, LaRosa, she ended up announcing her new show, her new platform. So what do y'all think about that? I don't think it was calculated.
I think, you know, Jess was trying to express herself and she just had enough. She went live and because she went live,

the next day they addressed it

and everything just happened.

They have a platform.

Right.

And the guys don't eat it up.

They don't tear it up

and talk about it.

Let's talk about it live right now.

I understand that.

Rel, you got humble body mail for us. It's about that time.
It's about that time. I understand that.
Well, you got HumbleBaddyMail for us.

It's about that time.

It's about that time.

It is.

You got it,

Forrest?

I can't wait for this one.

I do.

Okay.

Hey, HumbleBaddy.

So I need

I need y'all

honest opinion.

It doesn't say

where it's coming from.

No, okay.

I need y'all

honest opinion

because I'm really

stuck on this one.

Thank you. So I need y'all honest opinion.
It doesn't say where it's coming from. No, okay.
I need y'all honest opinion because I'm really stuck on this one. I've been dating this guy for over a year and a half, and we finally planned our first vacation together, which is a royal Caribbean cruise.
Okay. At least it ain't, what's the other one? Carnival.
Carnival. At least it ain't carnival girl.
I was super super excited but then he hit me with the you're paying for your half right he wasn't joking now i get that we're in the modern world and all but i kind of feel like if a man is taking me on vacation he should be covering it especially if he's the first that asked and it's our first trip together. Am I being unrealistic or is he just giving up, giving broke weight energy? Baggies, what y'all do? Would you happily split the bill or is this the red flag for how he handles relationships in general? Well, I'm going to go ahead and say this.
As an avid traveler, I mean, all three of us are avid travelers, right? If I'm with this guy after a year and a half, he knows how I move. He knows how I eat.
He knows how I dine and really take how I fly, how you move. So a year and a half, and y'all talking about vacation, you're going on a cruise.
And these cruises are very expensive. They're time consuming, but they're fun.
It's a very intimate setting. But a year and a half, you should know what time it is.
And I feel like if you invested that time in this person, you can invest in their space, especially because you're not in two separate estate rooms. You're sharing one bed and one cabin.
So cruises are meant for you to really not go to sleep. So you're with this person all the time.
You're doing excursions, you're eating, you're wine tasting, whatever you want to do. So obviously, if you want to spend time with this person,

after a year and a half of getting to know them,

best believe you should be fitting the bill for this.

I mean, if you can't afford not to be there, you shouldn't be gone.

But sis, I think he needs to take care of it. I know one thing with me, even just dating and courting and things like that.

I feel like the men that approach me or know who I am know that I'm well-traveled. And there's a way that I travel and that doesn't have to necessarily be first class or things like that, but there's going to be things that I want to do.
I like getting massages. I like a view of the ocean.
I like these things. And if this man is intentional about being with somebody,

they should be investing in you.

Exactly.

As a man, if you ask him to come somewhere,

you better pay.

You better pay for it.

Why am I paying?

I feel like the men

are going to say it's a test.

A year and a half test? I don't know. No.
I don't know. I feel like men are all about trying to see, I don't know, is she a gold digger and that type of shit.
I feel like the ones that have it are not saying that. You know what I mean? Well, he might not have it to words like like that but then that's why I think there should be like a conversation like I feel like it's like okay what if he doesn't have it like that but he really likes you he really wants to go on this vacation with you but he can't afford your part then he he can find a nice way to be like hey can we I don't see nothing wrong with that.
One thing about this cruise

is you got to put a deposit down

before you even step foot on that boat, baby.

They are not checking you in

unless everything is cleared.

I know.

That's why I'm saying...

That's why I'm saying

he may not have it,

but I feel like it's okay.

Like, as long as...

It's not okay.

It's not...

It's very irresponsible.

Because if you don't have the... It is.
Because if you don't have the money,

then why are you asking to go on a cruise?

You need to get your priorities together

before we go.

You got to pay for Waxi.

That could be a conversation.

That could be a conversation.

But I'm just saying,

I'm just trying to think about it from...

Okay.

Y'all are some bougie bitches.

Okay. I'm trying to think about it.
Trying to think about it from okay y'all are some bougie bitches okay i'm trying to think about trying to think about it you know in a different way okay so i'm just saying like he might not be as well traveled as you lex he must know cheryl i'm just thinking for the other people i know Let her finish. Let her finish, Sherelle.
Let'm just thinking for the other people. I know you're not left for your thing.

Let her finish, Sherelle.

Let her finish.

Listen, I'm just saying, not you, bitch.

I know you not going to go. I'm talking about you.

If a man asks you to put your money.

I'm not talking about me.

You're saying the majority.

I'm not talking about us.

I'm not talking about the bougie humble baddies.

It ain't even about being bougie. Standard, boundary.
It's as a man, if you're asking me to come on a trip, you need to pay. It ain't no fucking testing.
Not after a year and a half. I'm not testing nothing.
Exactly. We go together and been together.
But what were you Ash? no can't hear you Ash can't hear you she got it yeah what were you saying boo? okay what if he's not like a well-traveled person and neither is she? And this is like them trying to, you know, explore that option. And he doesn't know the etiquette of like, okay, if I want to go on a vacation with a lady, I need to make sure I have the funds.
You know what I'm saying? So I don't, I'm trying to answer this lady in a way, not trying to ruin their relationship because we don't know. You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't know where they are in their financials.
We don't know where they are in their relationship. So I'm just saying, okay, they want to go.
He obviously wants to go on a trip with this lady on a cruise or whatever. And he's like, okay, I want to go, but can you pay your way? I don't think she should be like, ah, fuck this man.
He can't even pay the bank for me. I ain't going to stop him.
Like, I don't think. So that's why I'm saying there's a conversation that could be had and you can let him know, like, I feel like, you know, you're asking me to go on this vacation together.
Then I think this is something that you should be taking care of or whatever. And then we can go from there and figure out the conversation.
I'm trying to help out. What's the lady name? What is anonymous? That's how it varies.
That's how it varies. Okay, but some people are not there yet.
I agree with you, Ashley. They're learning.
They should not be going. They should not be going.
They should go and do a staycation. I don't think the answer to our humble bad email should be like, absolutely not.
No, like, okay, no, this shouldn't. I don't think you should go on this trip and pay for yourself, but it should be a conversation.
100% should be a conversation.

I'm going to speak for myself and speak for you because I want you to understand how we would deal with this situation, all three of us on this platform.

If he cannot pay your bill, your portion, and he have asked you, y'all don't need to

be going on a trip.

Because guess what?

When you go on that cruise,

you got to pay for everything.

He don't pay for everything.

No, it's not worth it.

Let's have a conversation.

Speak for yourself.

Don't speak for me.

Speak for you and let's be.

Let's have a conversation. I don't agree.

Hold on, Ashley.

You don't say it's your point.

Let me talk. But you was trying to speak for me.
I don't speak for y'all. Let me have a conversation.
I don't agree. Hold on, Ashley.
You don't set your point. Let me talk.
But you was trying to speak for me. I don't speak for y'all.
Let me have a conversation and say, we're not ready to plan. Like, you do figure it out and once you have it figured out, then you can plan us a trip.
But I'm not spending 50% and when you invited me on a trip, you need to have it together. Or you can stay at home.
It's cheaper to stay at home. If you cannot afford it, you should not be gone because then there's going to be other things that are going to come from that.
You're going to have some issues. You know, I don't want to do this.
It's like pulling out your card every other time or trying to keep checks and balance. It's very expensive.
It's time consuming.

And if you cannot afford it, then I feel like you guys should not go.

Plain and simple.

Exactly.

That's how it is.

Figure it out.

Get your stuff together.

When you got your stuff together, me as a woman, you're a man.

I want you to be able to be a man.

I shouldn't have to sit on a trip that you asked me to go on.

So once we figure this out, then we can come back and have that conversation about what we're going on this cruise, on this royal cruise. Because you think about it, you're using your vacation hours, your vacation days from your job, like all these things.
You want some souvenirs. You want to upgrade.

You want to go parasailing.

You want to do things.

You're good.

I mean, you want to have

everything. It's vacation.

A year and a half.

Like, that's my thing. A year and a half.

They've been together. So, there we go.

Are those some gummies? Look at her hands. Mm-hmm.
Ashley ain't hearing that. She's talking about something.
Let's have a conversation and talk it out. No.
I'm trying to ruin nobody's relationship. It's just about that.
It's just, I don't think they can afford it. Like, it's going to cause more.
Obviously, it's something because she's asking us and we're giving our opinions on it, and if a man is courting you, y'all been together for a year and a half, and he said like, you know, let's go on this vacation, y'all doing this, and he's inviting her, and I feel like, and then you're going to turn around and be like, bud, you got to give me half. What if she's like, y'all can't afford that half, so we don't need to be going.
And then now he's been locked in on something, and now y'all feeling some kind of way, because now you got to get a flight, you got to, you know, make sure you got a hotel the night before. All these things.
It's a lot. Yes.
Every slot. Got to pay for the Wi-Fi.
The Wi-Fi. Yes.

Everything.

I mean,

I don't know. I don't think it's that bad

like y'all see it.

Well, at least it's the one-liner

over the other one,

because...

Look,

he ain't even getting the

all you can drink package.

Y'all gonna be drinking water. And that's gonna cause more issues because they be like, well, what do they have? What kind of wristband is that? Or why do they have this? You know, you want to do it right.
You want to do it right. That's it.
But anyway. Yeah.
Thank y'all for submitting HumbleBatty Mail to us. We are ecstatic to get your questions, concerns, comments, and we're going to let y'all know what it is.
So thank you all for tuning into us. Ladies, where can they catch you all? You can find me at SherelleRisato underscore on Instagram and on Snapchat, Sherelle.Risato.

I'm Ashley Nicole on Instagram at Ash3 underscore Nicole.

And I'm on Instagram still and only at Alexis underscore Stoudemire. And send those questions and comments to contact at humblebaddies.com.

Got it right?

I think consistent with it.

You know what I'm saying?

Thank you all for joining us.

Good night.

Thank you.

Thank y'all.

Bye. We'll see you next time.
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