Fanhausen (Re-Release)

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Speaker 2 Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Speaker 4 Want to talk to Conan?

Speaker 3 Visit teamcoco.com/slash call Conan.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 3 Hey, everybody, Conan O'Brien here, and we're going to try something a little different. In this short time that I've been doing, Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

Speaker 3 I've just been delighted. I'm having an absolute blast and it's working.
I'm actually making some nice bonds and friendships with a lot of different people.

Speaker 3 But what occurred to me is all these people have one thing in common. They're celebrities.

Speaker 3 And I thought it might be nice to try making friends with average folk, people out there in the world, civilians, not celebrities.

Speaker 3 Just talk to the people who make this great country we call the United States of America, or even people from other countries. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 Let's just talk to some regular folk and then hope, hope desperately that they become celebrities.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That's the concept.
What do you guys think?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 Why is that horrible? It's very important to me that eventually they become celebrities. So you don't have time for anybody that would live their whole life as a regular Joe.
As a folk.

Speaker 3 Who would do that? What kind of monster would choose that life?

Speaker 3 No, seriously, I really do. I do want to.
And especially, I have to say, a lot of this comes out of this last year. Let's get outside this bubble, this celebrity bubble that we're trapped in.

Speaker 2 I'm not trapped in a celebrity.

Speaker 3 No, I'm not even now.

Speaker 3 Oh, God, no. I didn't mean either of you.
Oh, God, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, please. Oh,

Speaker 3 how embarrassing. Oh,

Speaker 3 I'm covering my mouth. I'm laughing.

Speaker 3 Because we don't even do a podcast with a celebrity, so how would we know? Oh, snap!

Speaker 2 Snappity, dappity, ouchy, wowy.

Speaker 3 I'm looking it up.

Speaker 3 I'm looking it up. I am looking it up.
Yes, I am a celebrity. I just looked it up.
You go with it? Yeah, I am a B-lister, but I am a celebrity. So,

Speaker 3 okay.

Speaker 3 I am a solid B. I'm a solid B-list celebrity, and I'm proud of it.
And if Love Boat were still on the air,

Speaker 3 I could potentially be a guest.

Speaker 3 Not the first guest, but like the third guest, who's the comic relief guest who stowed away. I would kill to see you on Love Boat.
Yes.

Speaker 3 But anyway,

Speaker 3 this is something I want to do, and I'm really looking forward to it. And

Speaker 3 I don't know. We're just going to give it a try and see how it goes.
Yeah, this is Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan, and it'll be out weekly in addition to the regular episodes.

Speaker 3 So just an extra special treat. And we might as well get to our first guest.
Are you guys ready? Yeah. I am very ready.
Conan, please meet Donovan, who is a minor league professional wrestler. Wow.

Speaker 3 Donovan, very nice to talk to you. Where are you coming from, Donovan? Where are you?

Speaker 5 I am in Michigan right now from Montreal.

Speaker 3 Do you consider yourself a Canadian?

Speaker 5 No, no, I'm from Michigan.

Speaker 3 Oh, you're from Michigan? Yeah. Sorry, I probably said that wrong.

Speaker 5 My wife is from Montreal.

Speaker 3 Wait, I'm confused already. You're from Michigan.

Speaker 3 You've married someone who's from Montreal. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 Okay. So I'm in the process of getting my permanent residency there.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 You're going to move to Montreal.

Speaker 5 I'm going, yes.

Speaker 3 Okay. Well, that's all the time we have.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 Donovan, you are a professional wrestler. Is that right? Yes.
Okay. Now,

Speaker 3 help me because I know of a type of professional wrestler that has a character.

Speaker 3 And I don't know, are you a professional wrestler who's really wrestling and using wrestling moves and it's not that fun to watch?

Speaker 3 Or are you a wrestler who's also kind of a performer and has a character?

Speaker 5 I am a character.

Speaker 5 Actually, I have a picture if you want to see it.

Speaker 3 It's a

Speaker 3 evil. Okay.
Well, we are a podcast, so I'm going to describe it.

Speaker 3 You're sort of demonic looking.

Speaker 3 You just showed me a picture of what looked like a very fierce, evil, demonic wrestler.

Speaker 5 Yes. So I go by the moniker very nice, very evil, because nobody likes somebody who's too evil.
So I introduce the nice part of it. So then they buy into it and I can trick them.

Speaker 3 Okay, very nice, very evil.

Speaker 5 Often I get described if somebody, a demon possessed you, actually.

Speaker 3 Oh, a demon possessed me.

Speaker 5 If Conan O'Brien was possessed by a demon, that's what it gets described as because I'm heavily influenced by you rather than other wrestlers.

Speaker 3 Yes. You mean of the wrestlers? I'm the one that's influenced you the most.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, of course. That's fantastic.

Speaker 3 Describe then a demonic Conan O'Brien as a wrestling character.

Speaker 3 Are you using some of my moves? Is it my attitude? Does your character have

Speaker 3 sort of little beady eyes and thin lips and sharp cheekbones?

Speaker 5 Yes, I don't have the height, but I have

Speaker 5 I utilize, so I pour teeth in my opponent's mouths.

Speaker 5 to disorient them.

Speaker 3 Pour what in their mouth?

Speaker 3 Human teeth. You pour human teeth into the mouth.
That's amazing. I love how that's people see that and go, oh, that is so Conan.
That is. No, no, no.

Speaker 5 It's just, I think it's the presentation because I take a lot of like Simpsons references and references from you and just 80s horror movies and I pull it all together because these are the things that I like.

Speaker 5 So I included it into the character because wrestling should be fun. Yes, wrestling.

Speaker 3 It shouldn't be work. Yes.
No, no.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 okay, one of your standard moves is to pour loose teeth into the mouth of your opponent to confuse and disorient them. What are some of your other moves?

Speaker 5 Pick them right in the mouth. I have the go-to-sleep, which I call the good nighthausen.

Speaker 3 I add housing.

Speaker 5 My wrestling name is Dan Hausen, and I add Hausen to everything to make it all about me.

Speaker 3 That's very Cody. Okay, that's very nice, Matt.

Speaker 3 I love that. You just add a Hausen to things.
So Good Night Hausen is like a Good Night move.

Speaker 5 Yes. And I pop them up off my shoulders and I need them in the face.

Speaker 3 That's my finishing. Well, you need them in the face, Hausen.
The face, yes, exactly. Sorry.

Speaker 5 Like if I were talking to you, I'd call you Konenhausen. I add Hausen to the end of Edmund.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 This is fantastic. You're, I'm delighted by you.

Speaker 3 You're, I'm delighted by this foolishness and that you've, like me, dedicated your life to absolute idiocy.

Speaker 3 This is fantastic. Now, are you a good wrestler? Are you a good athlete?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but that doesn't matter. No one cared when I was just a good wrestler.

Speaker 5 They cared once I switched and put on makeup and started acting goofy and doing Simpsons references in the middle of matches. And like I stole the Mr.
Burns hop in.

Speaker 5 I brought a tiny airplane to the ring and I told my opponent to hop in and I had three, 400 people chanting hop in at this guy.

Speaker 3 How successful have you been? It sounds like, is this growing? Do you feel like Dan Hausen is becoming a bigger and bigger character?

Speaker 5 Yes, absolutely. Since I've switched this, which is about two years ago and about a year full of doing this actual character, I've been wrestling for eight years.

Speaker 5 Since I've switched this, it's just like snowballed more and more and more. And now I have a shirt and hot topic and I've gotten signed to like a TV company.

Speaker 5 And they're just like, go do your weird stuff.

Speaker 3 Like, do it.

Speaker 5 That's have fun. Be Danhausen.
That's, that's what we need.

Speaker 3 I want to be a part of Danhausen's world, you know? Don't you see that, Matt?

Speaker 3 Like, I want to maybe do some sort of, I want to tape a video. I seriously want to do something where you're in the ring and then I appear and I'm either for you or against you.

Speaker 3 Do you know what I mean? Or you're my long-lost son.

Speaker 3 We've got to somehow get into, I want to get into the lore of Danhausen.

Speaker 3 Do you know what I mean? I want to be part of it. What would you do with me?

Speaker 5 Oh, with you, I would call us both legendary lady

Speaker 3 for one.

Speaker 3 Guess what? There's a lot of those now.

Speaker 5 there's literally like 600 in america so he might want to come up with something cooler this character is all about himself he's all about making sacks of money i call them yes i carry around a money sack i pulled it out after i won my contract on tv

Speaker 5 and i revealed it from my cape

Speaker 5 pulled a uh i pulled a 20 bill and i said look at these millions and i threw it

Speaker 3 would we actually fight uh and first of all uh you know I know how to handle myself.

Speaker 3 Wait a minute. Oh, come on.

Speaker 3 I'm fairly athletic.

Speaker 3 I can take a punch. And

Speaker 3 I love to fake fight. And so if I entered the ring, would we start out being friends? But then I would think that you had gotten too cocky and I would attack Danhausen.
What would happen?

Speaker 5 Yeah, maybe. I think...
I do this thing where I try to punch people in the groin right before the bell rings. So I can just pin them without doing any work.

Speaker 5 So I don't think I would do that because people know that I love Conan. Like as a a character, it's very public that I love Conan.
And that's one of Dan Hausen's idols.

Speaker 5 So I don't think they would think that. They'd probably be taken back if you did it.

Speaker 3 Okay, how about this? Let me pitch you this because I'm really into this. All right.
So Dan Hausen, you're fighting your foe. He starts to get the better of you.
He starts to win.

Speaker 3 He grabs the bag of teeth and starts to pour them into your mouth. He steals your sock of money.

Speaker 3 He punches you in the groin. It's all going badly when all of a sudden the music changes, fog machines go on,

Speaker 3 and I appear, I come down on wires and it's me, and I'm there to save Danhausen. And I think the crowd would go nuts.

Speaker 3 I hope so. What if the crowd's just like, all right, okay, there's Conan, I guess.
Let's see what he's got. All right, well, let's go.
If we go early, we can beat the traffic.

Speaker 3 In my mind, before I go on, that's what I think. That's the reaction I always think.

Speaker 3 If I leave now, I can beat the traffic.

Speaker 3 I want in on the Danhausen world. I really do, Donovan.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 5 I would love that if that's a possibility. That's like the ultimate guest for Goodnight Housing with Danhausen.

Speaker 3 You know what? I've always said if there's a way that I can be involved with Goodnight Hausen with Danhausen, I want inhousing and right now Hausen. Not tomorrow, Hausen, but today Hausen.

Speaker 3 I'm not fucking around Hausen. I'm serious Hausen.
So let's make this happen, Hausen. Let's sign a contract, Hausen.
I want to get paid, Hausen.

Speaker 5 Yes, we'll pay you in wonderful sacks of human money.

Speaker 3 There's only one kind of money.

Speaker 3 There's only human money. No animal uses money.

Speaker 3 He has no idea.

Speaker 5 He just knows it gets you power.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Wow.
That's very exciting. Well, you know what? I think you're going to do well.
I love that you're going to Canada because

Speaker 3 I don't say this just to suck up to Canada, but

Speaker 3 I love Canadians and I think they're like the funniest, one of the funniest countries in the world. They're really funny people.
So I think, and they really love nuanced, like weird, kooky comedy.

Speaker 3 And they've always been so nice to me. So I love that you're going to Montreal.
I think that's great.

Speaker 5 Thank you. Yeah.
It's been exciting and a lot of work.

Speaker 3 Donovan, you have my blessing and I will figure out a way to enter your, the world of Danhausen. I will.

Speaker 5 Please do. I would lose my mind and so would my fans.

Speaker 3 It'd be crazy. All right.
Well, Sona, make sure you. Oh, I will follow up on this.
Yes, we'll follow up on this.

Speaker 3 I'm really excited about it.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 5 Thank you. Thank you for doing that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.
Hey, really nice to meet you, Donovan.

Speaker 5 Nice meeting you, too. Nice meeting you.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Donovan.

Speaker 3 Connor Brian Needs a Friend is brought to you by Airbnb. I've taken a few trips in the past where I got a place through Airbnb.
I've mentioned this before, lovely experience. I think I do it again.

Speaker 3 I love it. It makes me feel so comfortable when I'm in a home that I get on Airbnb.
Well, you've done this a lot, haven't you, Blai? I have.

Speaker 3 And actually, Eduardo and I tomorrow are going to Austin, and I'm trying to get him to stay with me in a house that I got on Airbnb. I don't know about sharing a spot with you.
Well, he's very loud.

Speaker 3 He's very loud. And he always has to bring his figurines with him.

Speaker 3 These are emotional support figurines. Yeah.
But the great thing about getting a place through Airbnb, and I've done this in several cities, I like just feeling like, okay, this is my own space.

Speaker 3 I can do my thing. You're traveling.
Why not enjoy it? Yeah. Well, thank you.
Yeah, you're right. That's so nice of you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Eduardo, don't go with him.

Speaker 3 The other thing, and this would be a cool little detail for both of you, is if you're not using your place, you could list that on Airbnb. It's true.
It's a terrific way to make some money.

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Speaker 3 Here's a review for the board game Twister. Angela writes, I bought this to play with my other late 20s, early 30s friends.
Our bodies were not prepared for the pain that ensued.

Speaker 3 When all of my extremities ended up on the same color, my body went into full spasm.

Speaker 3 This is harrowing. My arms turned to jelly and my spine broke in half.

Speaker 3 Finally, I fell slowly to the ground in frog pose. The torture was over.
If you're in basic shape and somewhat flexible, this is the game for you. Five stars.

Speaker 3 You know, it's very rare for someone to be doing something with a product and have their spine break in half and give it a five-star review. That is very rare.
Yeah. This person's a very good sport.

Speaker 3 Anyway, whatever you're looking for this holiday, find the perfect gift on Amazon. Hey, Sona, I heard you got a new car.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, David usually gives me a ride to work, but I'd love it if you... No, no, no.

Speaker 2 You're not. I'm sorry.
You're not allowed in my new car.

Speaker 2 My Palisade is my oasis. It's my happy place.
So you're not allowed in Palisade.

Speaker 3 Wait a minute. What are you talking about? I made you.

Speaker 3 When I found you, you were wandering the streets with a bucket on your head. What? And now you're Sonoma Obsession and you're driving around the Palisade.
You won't give me a ride?

Speaker 2 This is why I don't let you in my happy place because you talk about me walking around with a bucket on my head. Why would I let you into my personal oasis if this is the way you're going to talk?

Speaker 3 You have to earn your spot. Well, earn it in my Hyundai Palace.
The all-new Hyundai Palisade hybrid is more than just another SUV.

Speaker 3 It's still the Palisade, but with so much more, like up to 600 plus miles of range. That's incredible.
Yeah, it is. And class-leading interior space.
So much space.

Speaker 3 Now, have you enjoyed that extra space?

Speaker 2 I'm being very serious right now. If you recline the seat all the way back, a little ottoman pops up so you can sleep comfortably in the front seat.

Speaker 3 That's insane. Yeah.
There are seating configurations for seven to eight passengers with available third-row power seats that recline, plus available front and second-row relaxation seats.

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Speaker 3 I was up half the night last night watching a World Series game. Yeah.
It was very exciting.

Speaker 3 I have to tell you, I don't care what your sport is, tailgates or watching parties or, you know, whatever, if you're watching High Lie,

Speaker 3 it doesn't matter. It is Miller time.
Miller Light is brewed with simple ingredients like melted barley for rich flavor and golden color.

Speaker 3 It's a taste you can depend on because Miller time is always a good time. I'm out there throwing the pig skin around.
I used to just throw pig skin. Really? Chunks of pig skin.
Wow.

Speaker 3 I never had a football. Where would you find the pig? Oh, I went to a farmer.
Oh, good. Yeah.
And the pig had fallen into a shredder.

Speaker 3 Anyway, back to Miller Light. I used to just hawking pigskin around.
I like to raise a Mirror Light in the air and celebrate a great pass,

Speaker 3 throwing chunks of pigskin around.

Speaker 3 One of those nail biters. Last night's game, incredible nail biter with the Dodgers.
Incredible. So anyway, Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Speaker 3 Go to Merrill Light.com slash Conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Merrill Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Speaker 3 And if they don't sell Merrill Light, turn to them and say, sir, you do not sell beer. It's Miller time.

Speaker 3 Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 3 Leanne, please meet Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 4 Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm very excited to talk to you, Leanne. Yeah.
Leanne, tell me just a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3 Just so I, when I meet someone for the first first time, I like to ask just a few questions, find out who they are, where they're coming from.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure. And I'm from Toronto.

Speaker 4 And I'm actually, I'm an engineer. So I went to school.
I did engineering in school and now I'm a mechanical engineer. And I love to ski.
I love to bike. I know you like to bike too.

Speaker 4 I listened to your talk about biking recently and your trip to Mexico. So that's kind of me.
I like outdoorsy kind of stuff and I like having fun and hanging out with my friends and a good laugh.

Speaker 3 You like a good laugh. Yeah.
A good laugh is good. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I listen to your podcast all the time. I think I've listened to every episode at least once.
So I'm a huge fan of your podcast.

Speaker 3 Do you get a sense of maybe any mental illness when you listen to the podcast?

Speaker 3 Boy, is that your first time? It may or may not.

Speaker 3 Okay. Well, I was just wondering if, you know, you're obviously a very intelligent person.
You're an engineer. What kind of engineering do you do?

Speaker 4 So I did chemical and chemistry in school, but now I'm doing mechanical engineering.

Speaker 3 But you understand chemistry. You understand chemical engineering.
Yep.

Speaker 3 And have you ever, when you're listening to the podcast, thought, this guy,

Speaker 3 I think we need to regulate his brain. His brain needs some sort of chemical regulation.

Speaker 4 A couple times, but it's okay. You get asked in the podcast.

Speaker 3 So what you're saying is what adds to the podcast is my mental illness.

Speaker 4 That's true. Also, my mom's in the background laughing her head off.

Speaker 3 That's okay. It's always good to have a mother in the background laughing at at me yeah it adds to the whole podcast experience

Speaker 3 there she's oh and look oh and look she's shooting this on her uh iphone which is uh piracy that's piracy that's uh i'm gonna have her arrested for stealing our copy

Speaker 3 that'll come later

Speaker 4 we fled the country because of that reason so you're too late on that

Speaker 3 so you fled

Speaker 3 You fled to north of Toronto

Speaker 3 just because you wanted your mom to record you talking to me on the podcast on her iPhone. That's right.
And you wanted to escape any attempt for me to seek retribution.

Speaker 3 You've thought this through so far in advance. You're so smart.

Speaker 4 We have. It was a big move, but you know what? It's worth it.
So we're nice people. And we're Canadians.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah.
I've met some of you.

Speaker 4 Nowhere American can fled the country.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's right. Good improv skills.
You picked up on your mom's mistake.

Speaker 3 Yeah, mom, good improv. Cut it it out.
She put out the information, Leanne put out the information that you fled to Canada. So you can't ruin her improv by denying her information.
Oh, God, moms.

Speaker 3 They always ruin improv. They always ruin improv.

Speaker 4 But I was going to say, too, I know your mom had, I love when you talk about your mom on the podcast. It's hilarious.
And how her dryness always kind of sparked your

Speaker 4 comedy. It sounds pretty good.
Yes. I listened to your most recent episode and you were saying how she

Speaker 4 always thought you were pretty crazy, but

Speaker 3 well, she always would say, My mom's line is, I don't like that even fooling.

Speaker 3 She had a good sense of humor, but yeah, she was always saying that to me.

Speaker 3 And I think that spurred me to go further and further and further. She's a great straight man in comedy.
So that helped me. And I hope your mother's helping you in your comedy pursuits.
Yes, she is.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Mine are more domestic, but that's yes, I understand.

Speaker 3 Your mom helped you so much with your comedy that you're an engineer. So

Speaker 3 that's all I have to say to you about your mother. It's her fault.
You'd be playing Vegas right now. You'd be in the biggest rooms in Vegas.
I would. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 Your mom had to get in there and go, that's not true.

Speaker 3 You're from Toronto.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's true.

Speaker 3 I do love Canada. I've had a very good Tim.

Speaker 3 I love myself a Tim Hortons.

Speaker 3 I love a Tim Hortons donut and a cup of coffee.

Speaker 4 You'd blend right in. A double double.

Speaker 3 Wouldn't I? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, a double double. And then I get on the hockey rink and I beat someone to death.
It's a good time. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I really enjoy myself.

Speaker 4 She just got off the ski hill.

Speaker 3 What? What is she saying now?

Speaker 4 She's just.

Speaker 3 Did your mother just spout things in the corner through your life?

Speaker 4 She said, I just got off the ski hill. That's what she's saying.

Speaker 4 Snow skiing, I think you called it. And a bit a long time ago.
On, I don't know where you were, but it looked pretty good.

Speaker 3 It was the Olympics. You're pretty cute.
It was the 2002 Olympics. And I learned how to snowboard.
And I'm still recovering from that.

Speaker 3 I lost most of my spine, had to be replaced with

Speaker 3 a coat hacked.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and you're still here now.

Speaker 3 So that's good.

Speaker 3 And what I'd like to do, Leanne, if it's okay, is I'd like to tape an episode of my show sometime where your mother's in a little inset box randomly saying things while I'm trying to do the show.

Speaker 3 That would be great. So I'm trying to talk to Hugh Jackman and she's saying things like, I was on the snowhill.

Speaker 4 I'll just be sure.

Speaker 3 My favorite chowder is corn chowder. And it's just randomly, okay, our next guest was in the fly.

Speaker 4 you know him as jeff goldbloom but you know onions are best on a sandwich okay mom we got it but how can i help you lean i know you have a question for me and i know i can help you yeah i just wanted to ask you because i was going to say like so i i've listened to the podcast so many times and i noticed that you're always just yourself no matter kind of what anyone's saying and i really like that even sometimes it might come off as mental illness but you continue to do it and i think that's really cool

Speaker 3 so i wanted to keep

Speaker 3 you. It comes off as mental illness sometimes, but I like it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I just wanted to ask you if there was any time that you had to pretend that you weren't showing any sign of mental illness and

Speaker 4 you had to stray from being yourself. And I just wanted to ask you, like, how you deal with that kind of thing.

Speaker 3 I am mostly, and I am mostly

Speaker 3 myself when I perform or show myself to the public. But on Sona and Corley, you will back me up.

Speaker 3 I can be weirder than even what people have seen or heard on the podcast. The podcast probably catches it the most, but

Speaker 3 I go on these riffs sometimes that

Speaker 3 they start out making sense and then they get more and more twisted and strange. And they're just not for public consumption.
Isn't that true, Sona?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think that you would be arrested if a lot of the things that you said were

Speaker 3 released. What are are you talking about? Well, because

Speaker 2 she's asking if you ever turn your mental illness off, but it's actually much more amplified a lot of times.

Speaker 3 Can I just start calling it my gift, not my mental illness?

Speaker 2 I'm just using what Leanne said. Yes, your gift.

Speaker 3 Okay. Gift.
Okay. Your gift.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Leanne, you're getting the sanest version of it. I know.
You're getting the most.

Speaker 3 I can only imagine. I am constantly talking and babbling.
Yes.

Speaker 3 I say a lot of words that don't make sense. I have microaggressions.
And macro aggressions. And macroaggressions, but none of it's really based in reality.
Like, I'm constantly threatening you, Mr.

Speaker 3 Gorley, but I'm not even angry with you. It's just like I have no anger towards Matt Gorley at all.

Speaker 4 I think it comes from a good place, too.

Speaker 3 I do too. I think my desire to kill and kill again comes from a good place.

Speaker 4 Thank you, Scott.

Speaker 3 Listen to that laugh. It's the joker.

Speaker 3 We do a podcast for the joker.

Speaker 3 Yes, Leanne,

Speaker 3 I know there was a question in there somewhere, but

Speaker 3 I think you nailed it. I think,

Speaker 3 yes, has there been a time where I've needed to hide? Yes, there are times where my mind goes probably to a darker place and I edit myself. How about that?

Speaker 3 That's very true.

Speaker 4 Sounds good. But I love how you're always, it just seems like you're always always yourself.
And same with Matt and Sona, and that really shines through in the podcast. And that's really cool.

Speaker 3 I would say, that's very sweet. I would say Sona is very much herself.
I don't know who the real Matt is. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't either. I don't.

Speaker 3 Like, you're a shapeshifter, Gorley. You could be, I just don't know.
You could be someone completely different. It's like that movie, The Stepfather.
I just don't know.

Speaker 3 You could be a complete maniac, and I wouldn't know it.

Speaker 4 Matt's like Switzerland.

Speaker 3 I am like Switzerland. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Sticks in the middle. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's like Switzerland. Rarely visited part.
That's hilarious. Amanda and I just went to Switzerland.

Speaker 3 Did you? Yes, we did specifically and only Switzerland. Oh my god.
Isn't that just ridiculous? I'm with you. I'm a mess.
You're not a mess. Yeah.
You're good friends. And you know what?

Speaker 3 It really does help

Speaker 3 do this.

Speaker 3 That was the most robotic. Were you talking about Sona and me, or am I good friends with myself?

Speaker 3 That's actually, that's actually, I created that sound bite with my computer.

Speaker 3 If you listen to it, again, carefully, all I did was press Control-D, and it just was like, we are good friends. You're good friends.

Speaker 3 Good friends. I enjoy.
And then Control-Alt-J is, I enjoy people.

Speaker 3 I am a human. Control-Alt-W is, I love children.

Speaker 3 When my wife and I visit her family with our kids, we stay in this hotel in Seattle, and there's one of those elevators that has a voice, a robotic voice that's telling you what floor you're going to.

Speaker 3 It's this accent we can't place, but when the elevator, when you get in the elevator on the fifth floor and you're going to the lobby, this woman's voice says, going

Speaker 3 down.

Speaker 3 And it burned into my brain. And whenever I'm in an elevator and it starts to go down, I hear in my brain, going down.

Speaker 3 It's very, it's very, I find it very disturbing. And I'm glad I shared it with with you.
I think your mom's trying to get in on the act again. Is that your mom who just walked behind you? Yeah, it is.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it is. She's encouraged.
She can't be stopped. We can't.

Speaker 4 We can't. She's fierce.
Also, that's an awesome guitar. Is it a Gretsch behind you?

Speaker 3 Yes, it is. Do you know your Gretsch guitars?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I want one. I don't have one, but I love to play guitar.
That's another thing I love about you. I love to watch you play.

Speaker 4 Like, I've seen a few videos of you playing, and it's just so fun because it's just you're up there and it looks like you love it.

Speaker 3 And I love to play it. I love it.

Speaker 3 I really love playing with Jimmy Vivino and guys from my band. And we've put out a couple of videos and I was really proud of it until someone said, great Viagra ad.

Speaker 3 And it was like, yeah, like, look at the older guy bopping out with his guitar, Viagra. Don't, you know, and I, um, that was a torpedo that just blew me apart.

Speaker 3 I just, I think I almost burned my guitar that night. I was like, I'll never play this again.
But

Speaker 3 yeah, maybe the good news is I'll probably get an ad for Viagra. So that'll be good.

Speaker 4 Congratulations.

Speaker 3 Well, it's been very nice talking to you. Leanne, I've loved talking to you and occasionally your mom.
Tell her I said, is your mom still there?

Speaker 4 She is. She's right there.

Speaker 3 Okay, I'm coming after you. What's your first name?

Speaker 4 My name's Carol.

Speaker 3 Carol, I'm coming after you.

Speaker 3 You've been taping this call illegally. I'm coming after you.
I will use the Canadian courts to bring you down.

Speaker 4 I'll have biked to Mexico by then.

Speaker 3 So don't be tough.

Speaker 3 Don't be tough. You guys are taunting me.
Like, come and get me. Oh, oh, man, I'm going after this family.
Hey, lovely talking to you.

Speaker 4 You too. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 No problem. Bye-bye, Leanne.
Take care. Bye.

Speaker 3 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsession, and Matt Gorley.

Speaker 6 Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Speaker 3 Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solaterov, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivina.

Speaker 3 Supervising producer Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.
Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineered by Will Bechton.

Speaker 3 Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Speaker 3 This has been a

Speaker 3 Cocoa Production in association with Stitcher.

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Speaker 6 Hello, podcast friends.

Speaker 6 This is Elliot Kalen from Smartless Presents Clueless, interrupting your day to tell you that season two of Clueless has just launched with special contestants Max Silvestri and Gabe Leidman of the podcast I Need You Guys.

Speaker 6 In our first episode, I'm puzzling them with questions about the elements and the return of our game State of Confusion, where you use state postal abbreviations to create a word that solves a fiendish clue.

Speaker 6 Listen to the latest episode of Smartless Presents Clueless, wherever you get your podcasts. You will never forgive yourself for missing it.