The Sona and Matt of New Zealand

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Speaker 4 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/slash call Conan.
Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 5 Hi, Glenn, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

Speaker 6 Hi, how are you? Calling from Auckland and New Zealand. Hi.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Auckland, New Zealand.
Yes. Help me.
Which part of New Zealand is that? I'm trying to think. Are you on the north or the south? Where is Auckland?

Speaker 6 So it's the largest city in New Zealand and it's in the North Island. So about, I guess,

Speaker 6 two-thirds, four-fifths of the way up, something like that, of the North Island.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, now I'm completely confused.
I've never been to New Zealand before, but

Speaker 1 I've always wanted to go.

Speaker 1 The people I meet from New Zealand are fantastic. And of course, I've seen,

Speaker 1 of course, many images of New Zealand, and it looks beautiful. I just haven't experienced it myself.
So I'm anxious to see it one day.

Speaker 6 Right. Well, Auckland is known as the City of Sails

Speaker 6 because

Speaker 6 we have a beautiful, we're surrounded by a beautiful harbor. We have a harbour bridge that's kind of like a

Speaker 6 little version of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the reason that you've only ever met nice New Zealanders is because we send all the horrible ones to Australia.

Speaker 1 Now, I've been

Speaker 1 to Australia. I've been there several times.
So, you know what I'm talking about, right? Oh, God, just filled with horrible New Zealanders.

Speaker 1 Let's talk, Glenn. Tell me a little bit about yourself.
You seem, I'm guessing you work in radio because you seem to have a professional setup there and you seem very comfortable on mic.

Speaker 1 Is that a correct assumption?

Speaker 6 Yes, that is a correct assumption. So, yeah, I've literally just come off here.
That's not my show.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm kind of like

Speaker 6 the Matt and/or soner of the show.

Speaker 1 So I just chip in when you. Oh, so you're expendable.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, I'm heart. You could lynchpin.
You could go at any time.

Speaker 5 The couldn't do without.

Speaker 1 People wouldn't care.

Speaker 1 Listen, please, those are just jokes. I love you guys.
And, of course, you're an essential part of this stew.

Speaker 1 Little lentils. And I am the large piece of delicious beef.
That's for sure. That is for sure.
Glenn, so you work on a radio show. Do you get recognized at all when you walk around?

Speaker 6 Only if I talk, because people don't really know what I look like. They've only ever heard me.

Speaker 6 So,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 6 they are usually pretty disappointing when they see what I look like.

Speaker 1 That is not true, Glenn.

Speaker 1 You're a very good-looking gentleman. And so people must get excited.
Say when you order a pizza over the phone. They must say, oh my God, is this Glenn Hart asking for New Zealand's finest pizza?

Speaker 6 I can't say that's happened to me, but I did once when I was on a plane, you know, and everybody's doing the overhead baggage situation, you know, that kind of pre-flight jostle around. Somebody

Speaker 6 at that point said, hey, are you Glenn off the radio? And, you know, so then I had that moment of, oh, no, am I about to be stuck sitting next to somebody who is a big fan of the show?

Speaker 6 That could go either way.

Speaker 6 But luckily, New Zealanders are pretty shy. And yeah, he left me alone.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 are you saying you didn't want to sit next to a big fan? That's my favorite thing. I call ahead to the airline and I say, can you find out who knows Conan O'Brien and can you seat them next to me?

Speaker 1 And then can we talk about my career arc?

Speaker 6 This is a New Zealand thing, right? So,

Speaker 6 you know, US,

Speaker 6 you know, know, you guys love to put people on a pedestal. You love to be the person on a pedestal.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 6 In New Zealand, the tall poppy syndrome is

Speaker 6 live and large. I see.
So, yeah,

Speaker 6 once anybody gets too successful,

Speaker 6 then

Speaker 6 it's up to the rest of us to pull them down to our level.

Speaker 1 Okay, I understand.

Speaker 6 We all think we could be the prime minister if we just gave it a go, for example.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think we all feel that way. That's very American.
Yeah, in the United States, we all feel that way these days.

Speaker 1 Glenn, tell me a little bit about your life. I want to get to know Glenn Hart from Auckland, New Zealand.
What's going on in your life?

Speaker 6 Well, so because I work in breakfast radio, I have to arrive here at the station about 3.45 a.m.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 that means my alarm goes off at 2.52.

Speaker 1 Hard pass.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 6 So Sona, you don't want a job of breakfast radio?

Speaker 1 No, I'm good. I'll pass.
She just threw up on the floor. Yeah.
Sona's working hours in her contract are one in in the afternoon to one thirty in the afternoon

Speaker 1 and then we have to pay for her uber to and fro uh that sounds like a big day so you get up at close to two o'clock in the morning what time do you go to bed

Speaker 6 uh as soon as i can uh uh yeah all i ever want to do is be asleep uh yeah so generally about uh quarter past eight okay um

Speaker 6 i try and and get a little nap in in the afternoon after lunch yeah uh depending on you know what's going on in my life because otherwise by yeah about 6 p.m i'm not making any sense at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you haven't made a lick of sense since you got on with us.

Speaker 6 Well, that could be the accent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you're bleeding from the mouth.

Speaker 1 Just a little word to the wise. Okay, so you've got crazy hours.
Do you have a family?

Speaker 6 Yep. So

Speaker 6 I have a wife and two daughters,

Speaker 6 grown-up daughters.

Speaker 6 They did both actually leave and go off to university and then both came back again.

Speaker 1 How do you feel about that, Glenn? I think we know.

Speaker 1 How do you feel about that, Glenn?

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah. I think Matt picked up on a little tone there as I said about that.
We had about, there was about a six-week period when my wife and I were empty nesters.

Speaker 6 And, you know, we just sat around frequently just looking at each other, going, saying things like, hey, what do you want for dinner?

Speaker 6 And we'd say, oh, I don't know, just a toasted sandwich would be fine. Sure.
And everything was nice and casual. You're not cooking for anybody.
You're not, you know, driving people around to places.

Speaker 6 And then, you know, that six weeks went by and then it all went out the window again.

Speaker 1 Wait, so you had six weeks of being empty nesters, then they're back. They're back in the house.

Speaker 6 And then one of them broke up with their boyfriend and moved back in.

Speaker 1 What are your daughters' names?

Speaker 6 So Billy and Macy.

Speaker 1 Okay, Billy and Macy. I get the sense that you wouldn't be unhappy if Billy and Macy maybe got their own place.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I love these girls, right? Yes.

Speaker 6 But so Billy, for example, she has her master's in classical performance music and clarinet. And so, she's gone on to be a teacher.

Speaker 6 She teaches other kids how to play clarinet, and she also plays piano and teaches piano, teaches saxophone.

Speaker 6 And sometimes she does this in our house while I'm trying to get that afternoon nap. So, you know, it would be great if that was just happening.

Speaker 1 And the other daughter loves clogging,

Speaker 1 she likes to wear the traditional lead clogs,

Speaker 1 which are the before wood.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 listen, don't get me wrong. I understand what you're saying.
You're a good dad. You and your wife love your kids, but it might be nice if they had their own place.
Yes? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 How do you suggest he does that?

Speaker 1 Well, how would it go over if I spoke to them?

Speaker 1 Would I have any sway with your daughters at all?

Speaker 6 Well, maybe.

Speaker 6 So when I told my family that I was coming on this podcast,

Speaker 6 and I said, you know who Conan O'Brien is, right?

Speaker 6 And there were kind of semi-blank stares. They sort of had an idea.

Speaker 6 And I explained, you know, Conan, he's a famous, you know, late show host, you know, you know.

Speaker 6 And my youngest daughter said, oh, he's not one of the bad ones, is he?

Speaker 1 He didn't do something bad, did he? Well, yes, I've done bad things, but I know.

Speaker 1 But we covered it up. It was in the late 80s before I got on television.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, so they're not, they don't sound like they're super fans of mine,

Speaker 1 to put it mildly. Yeah, let's put it that way.
Listen, listen, sometimes a blank stare.

Speaker 1 You can see a little bit of slight recognition in there.

Speaker 1 Maybe if they saw my face, it would change from blank stare more to, I don't know, horror. Who can say which way it would go? But I'm very convincing, Glenn.

Speaker 1 And maybe I could find them a place and move them into it. What do you think?

Speaker 6 This sounds, this is music music to my ears.

Speaker 6 I have been waiting for somebody to come.

Speaker 1 And not clarinet, which is great. Yeah.

Speaker 6 She's a great clarinet player, but, you know, it's like SpongeBob and Squidward, right? There's only so much that you can take.

Speaker 1 Listen, the clarinet is fine in doses, and that's fine. But she sounds very talented.

Speaker 1 They sound like lovely young women, but I think they need to move out of your house. And I think they need to talk to someone they look up to and admire.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, we don't know who that is.

Speaker 6 But I mean,

Speaker 6 you are taller than both of them, so they would be looking out to you.

Speaker 1 Are they

Speaker 1 what about old Simpsons episodes? Maybe I could show them old Simpsons.

Speaker 1 Sometimes people who don't know my work now like Old Simpsons episodes that I worked on. Yeah,

Speaker 6 no, one of my daughters was just saying the other night they just re-watched the monorail episode.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 There you go. I know.
You could say the man behind the monorail episode is here and he's going to help you move into a new apartment.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Boy, has he got something to sell you?

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. And then I could sing the monorail song to them.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, I could. Monorail.
I could. Monorail.
Yes, I know. Monorail.

Speaker 1 Apartment. Apartment.
Apartment. Apartment.
Yes. It's nice and cozy on your own.
Apartment.

Speaker 1 Apartment.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a separate home. Apartment.
Apartment.

Speaker 1 This bed folds out and it sleeps too. Apartment, apartment, apartment.

Speaker 6 Don't rig dad after two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, our apartment. Apartment.
Apartment. See? We're doing it.
I think the two of us could get them out of the house. And I say that again with love.

Speaker 1 I mean, I like them. Me too.
Absolutely. I know you love them.
Me less so because they don't seem to know my work.

Speaker 1 But I'll get over it. I'll get over it.
But I like you, Glenn, and I would like to I'd like to help.

Speaker 1 I'd like to help you if i could that's all hey that's that's all i can ask well no a lot of people ask for other things too yeah

Speaker 1 i was gonna give you money but you said that's all i can ask so

Speaker 1 you fucked that up real good

Speaker 1 just to run time off okay

Speaker 1 you know I think the relationship I have with my team has been a critical part of the phenomenal success of Conor Bryan Needs a Friend. For sure.
And maybe my late-night career.

Speaker 1 David, you know, you see me with my team. I care about my team.
You actually do. Yeah.
And don't say actually do. You actually do.

Speaker 1 I stand by that. I show a lot of caring and concern for my people.

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Speaker 1 And what about the show? If I went on the show,

Speaker 1 would I be a good guest for your show or is it not that kind of program? Is it more serious?

Speaker 6 No, it most definitely is that kind of program. I mean, for instance, we had the big country star Luke Combs on the show just this week.

Speaker 1 Do your kids know who Luke Combs is?

Speaker 6 I really hope not. I'm not a huge fan myself of country music.

Speaker 1 Wow. Well, I'm glad Luke Combs already did the interview.

Speaker 1 I'm glad he's out of the building. Hey, you got him on tape.
So

Speaker 6 wow, I can just can't believe I did a drive-by on Luke Combs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just

Speaker 1 shit on a guest on your show who you were bragging about. You were like, hey, we got Luke Combs.

Speaker 1 Do you like him? No.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 6 So the question is, though, Conan, could you get up early enough in the morning to come in and be on a breakfast show?

Speaker 1 Of course I could. You're an early riser.
Yeah. Of course I could get up.
Hey, listen, I'm ready to go anytime, day or night. Okay, I am always present, always ready to go.
Right.

Speaker 6 Well, then you'd be a perfect guest.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you: maybe because you've been working in broadcasting for a long time in the radio section, I only started doing the podcast about five years ago. Is there any advice you can give me?

Speaker 6 Any advice for Conan?

Speaker 1 I'm always looking to improve.

Speaker 1 Just kidding. I'm sorry, that was funny

Speaker 1 i know but

Speaker 1 you can see why i was so taken aback because i'm like you know i've been listening for pretty much the whole duration of the podcast cody yeah i know i was getting about the whole advice i just wasn't expecting you to ask for it yeah i know i don't know what i was like

Speaker 1 um listen

Speaker 1 listen i think i like you uh you seem like a fine fellow you've got a good sense of humor You wear a shirt that matches exactly the color of what's behind you.

Speaker 1 Which is why you'll never be a weatherman.

Speaker 6 Like I say, New Zealanders, we just like to fade into the background.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 How would I get along in New Zealand? If I come to New Zealand, how would the people treat me, do you think?

Speaker 6 I think that they might.

Speaker 6 We do, there is a guy called Chris Parker who is a tall, red-headed comedian in New Zealand. And people might think that you're him if they don't know that you're you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 As long as he's well-liked, I'll take it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, no, he's very, he's, he's very popular.

Speaker 1 So if I go into restaurants and say I'm Chris Parker

Speaker 1 and I want a lamb pie,

Speaker 1 they'll serve it.

Speaker 1 That'll work well.

Speaker 6 Except in New Zealand, we have this thing. So you know the rule of six degrees of separation, right?

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 6 That

Speaker 6 everybody knows everybody in the world, you know, because you know somebody who knows somebody, who knows somebody, blah, blah, blah. Well, in New Zealand, we call that rule two degrees.

Speaker 6 So, like I say, there's only five million people here. So we know somebody who knows somebody.
Right.

Speaker 6 So chances are you'll go into that restaurant and Chris Parker will actually be sitting there anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
So that's interesting. My scam won't work.
My scam of running up a big tab and putting it on this red-haired Chris Parker, probably not going to work out.

Speaker 6 And that's one of the main reasons why I wanted to be on your show, Conan, because, you know, you've talked to all these fantastic people,

Speaker 6 you know, people like Jeff Goldblum, people like Harrison Ford. And now I'm only two degrees away from those people.

Speaker 1 It's fantastic.

Speaker 8 Aren't you just one degree away?

Speaker 1 Well, I know you. you know, them.

Speaker 3 Two, that's too.

Speaker 5 I always get confused by this, too.

Speaker 1 I get confused by it, too.

Speaker 3 I think it's two because if it was just you, then you'd be one degree.

Speaker 1 I think it's more with Harrison Ford because he can be a very distant person. Yeah, so I think it's five degrees.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a degree and a half.

Speaker 6 He certainly sounded like he was trying to separate himself a little bit further away.

Speaker 1 I tend to frighten him.

Speaker 1 I like this.

Speaker 1 I like talking to you.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I wish you all the best with your daughters. And I think maybe if you start familiarizing them with my work, who knows? Yes.
Then I'm

Speaker 1 trying to get them.

Speaker 6 Who knows? I've been trying to get them to watch.

Speaker 6 Kind of misguided. I've just got them to watch.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Drink this.

Speaker 1 Do it. It's good for you.

Speaker 5 Maybe if you go visit, first thing you have to do is an orientation where you do a presentation on who you are to them.

Speaker 1 Yes. Then you can get them in an

Speaker 1 eyes like a PowerPoint. Yeah.
I'll do a PowerPoint presentation on who I am and why they should care. Yes.
And then I'll tell them to get out of the house. Yeah.
Yes. And I'll make it.

Speaker 6 So you can stand in front of a green screen with a pointer. Yeah.
And, you know,

Speaker 6 here's the monorail from The Simpsons. Here's me looking a Norwegian in the street.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The whole arc of my career. That's all you know.
That's all you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You just took Lincoln from Wood Chopper to Ford's Theater, and you skipped the whole rest of the part.

Speaker 1 Listen. And then here's the house.
Here's the apartment. Yes.
Away from the house, or the flat, as we would call it in New Zealand.

Speaker 1 We'll get you into a flat.

Speaker 1 I'm going to.

Speaker 1 Well, I hope someday we meet. I hope maybe it's possible that I can get your daughters to move nearby because you do love them.
You care about them.

Speaker 1 You want them to, but enough of the clarinet at two in the morning.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we'll try and see if we can make that happen. I think that'd be nice.

Speaker 1 That'd be a dream. Yeah.
Dream come true. Well, that's what I do.
Some people say I make dreams come true. I've never, no, no one's ever said that yet.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 1 What I said was it was aspirational. Okay.
That someday someone's going to say, you made my dreams come true. I see.

Speaker 1 Something that hasn't been said yet, but could be said in the future. Okay.

Speaker 6 So what you said could be in my dreams tonight.

Speaker 1 You frightened me. I didn't see you there.
You drifted into the background again.

Speaker 1 Glenn, you're a madman.

Speaker 1 I haven't had a lot of sleep. I'm sorry.
Yeah, you're a sleep-deprived madman.

Speaker 1 Have a great day or night. I don't know.
What time of day is it where you are now?

Speaker 6 It is just coming up to 10 in the morning here.

Speaker 1 Okay. So probably time for you to go to bed.
Yeah, it's almost past my bedtime.

Speaker 1 Well, my best to you. Not my best to your daughters because they don't seem to give a shit.

Speaker 1 But we'll correct that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll work on that. Have a terrific day.
And

Speaker 1 I hope our paths cross. I really do.

Speaker 6 Okay. So do I.
I really hope they should. I really hope they do.

Speaker 1 You never know. You never know in this crazy world what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 All right. Go change your shirt.
Bye-bye. Bye.

Speaker 6 See ya. Lovely to meet you, man.
And sign up.

Speaker 5 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Obsession, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.

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