Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 5 Episode 1

25m
Conan and the Chums announce their backyard locale for this year’s Summer S’mores. Also, Conan muses on a studio animal mascot.

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Transcript

This episode of Conor Brian Needs a Friend is sponsored by Hershey's.

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Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums, a six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Session, and Matt Corley.

Let's get started.

Why, hello, and welcome to the 2025 installment of Summer S'mores with Conan and his chill chums.

This has become

a rite of passage.

It started, I think this is our fifth one.

Did you say that, Gorley?

It's our fifth, yeah.

This is our fifth.

We've gone to many exotic locations.

We went to Altadena.

Yeah.

Last year.

Yeah, a little bittersweet now because you have lost that home.

I did not lose the backyard.

Backyard's still there.

So that's still there.

Can I ask you,

we taped last year in your backyard of your lovely house and

what's the view like from your backyard now?

Are all the houses in your neighborhood gone?

All the houses are gone, but now all the debris has been removed on pretty much every house.

So it's like an alien came and just sucked up all the houses.

But the yards are the same.

So if we did it in my yard,

we could do that.

Is a lot of the vegetation gone?

Because I've noticed so many views are different.

If you drive through the palisades, you see vistas you never saw before because a lot of the scrub and the trees and foliage is gone.

Yeah, yeah.

But then you see the green that's growing.

So that's cool.

I mean, there's like, you know, and suddenly there's sunflowers sprouting in my backyard.

I don't know where they came from.

Right.

So there's, you know, and I do love that we have last year's Chill Chums as kind of like a documentation of my house and my yard and stuff.

So it's nice.

It's nice.

What are the other locations we've done?

We've done well first we did in studio, then we did my backyard, then we did this place on the balcony here at the studio.

That's right.

We were outside on the balcony.

Then we did sonas.

And then this year.

This year.

Okay, here's the plan.

All right, gather around.

I've been thinking about this.

I wanted to go someplace.

I thought about we should really go someplace far and exotic.

And I looked around.

I was thinking about St.

Bart's.

Have you guys been to St.

Bart's before?

No, it's very exotic.

I love St.

Barbara's.

It's very exotic.

And I was thinking about it.

And I was looking into various hotels there and or maybe just doing what I think a lot of rappers and pop stars do and get yachts.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah, so I was doing all that and getting into the paperwork of it all, but then it turned out, and I was fine with the price.

It was fine.

I was happy to do that.

I'll just pay for that myself.

Okay.

But

yeah,

the weather right now isn't quite ideal.

Is it?

It's perfect.

It's like 71.

Oh.

And I prefer 72.

So I decided that maybe it makes more sense

to

just use the backyard.

Oh, come on.

I'm looking at the forecast is going to be in the 90s there.

No, not.

I'm going to have various humidifiers.

The thing that they use in grocery stores to keep the lettuce moist, I'm having those brought in because I have to keep myself moist at all times.

Why can't you bring those to St.

Bart's?

Look, you know what?

I really was so close to pulling the trigger on St.

Bart's.

Yeah.

And I looked at a lot of places.

I looked at Anguilla.

I looked at,

you know, just so many very wealthy enclaves and islands.

And I decided the best thing to do is just go to our backyard here

because it's going to put us, first of all, there's a bathroom right here.

You don't think there's bathrooms in St.

Bart?

There's actually

my travel agent said, yeah.

That's why

they tell all the pop stars and rappers to bring a bucket.

It's called a pickle bucket.

Yeah.

So I

whatever he got.

Yeah, that little uh afterwards gave it a real validity.

What?

Reminder, you're under oath, sir.

So I like our backyard because I haven't been there.

There's a backyard here at Larchmont that I'm told is really nice.

And also, I'm a king with his castle, and I want to walk my domain.

I want to walk my lands, my estates.

And I'm told that

stretching,

how big is it back there?

I haven't been there yet, but I'm told it just goes.

Square footage-wise?

Yeah, it'sn't it just it's it's no, it's actually kind of small.

It's a small yard.

Was I supposed to say it was?

We know it's back there, fruit trees.

What?

Oh, boy.

You got some fruit trees back there, man.

Wait, I just asked how big it was, and you went, yeah, fruit trees.

Well, I mean, I'm just saying, well, it's a sizable piece of property i think it's a little crazy to me that you've never been back there because you park your car very close and you just could take five more steps around the corner and see this beautiful shangle and it's in sunlight oh i see i can't go in i'm like a vampire that's true so i scurry like a rat we have a little parking space structure i'm back there mr ted danson's back there oh we're not No, no, you guys aren't.

No, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

I probably have a ticket right now.

Yeah.

Well, that's your problem.

Anyway, I know I don't have a ticket because I'm in my special parking spot.

Ted Danson and I in the clear.

But no, anyone of my ilk is well cared for.

But

I have to scurry in.

I've not really hung out back in the backyard.

Blade shouted fruit trees.

So I guess there's fruit trees back there.

Yeah.

No question as to what the actual space is.

Do you know what it is?

It's small.

It's a narrow backyard.

And

it's

nice.

Blade Blai brought up the fruit trees because it's a reference to the last time he brought up fruit trees.

Was one we were trying to think of a good segment idea, and Blaise's idea was that we talk about fruit trees.

And it landed with the giant

injury where you just repeat fruit tree over and over again.

No, no, I really thought it would kind of everyone remember.

Aaron's coming out of a coma.

No.

After 15 years, Aaron, are you there?

Fruit tree.

In my life, the fruit trees was a seminal event, but I guess no one else remembers.

No, I was talking the first time and a thug the second time.

I don't think our hardcore fans know what you're talking about right now.

But to get back to your original question, see, I think

I don't have, I live in an apartment, I don't have a yard, so to me, it's massive.

And we should tell the listeners that they can see how big this yard is too, because all of these Summer S'mores episodes will be available in full length on YouTube.

Now, Adam, Eduardo has a pretty big yard.

Eduardo, why don't you weigh in on what you think the size is back there?

It's all right.

It's tiny.

I don't have a yard either, and it's small.

It's got potential.

I believe you have only a yard.

Oh my god.

Hey, I guess that's

tragedy plus time.

And for Gorley, that means not a lot of time.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Take that, Sona.

Wow.

Well, it is your fault your house burned down.

It is not my fault my house burned down.

You're right.

Oh my God.

How come we don't go to your house?

Every year we say we're going to go to your house and then we just never do.

Like I think since the biggest.

What's going on?

Sonya, you can't come to my house.

Come on.

No, it's not going to happen.

Okay.

No, maybe next year we'll do my house.

Listen.

This is my yard because this is my building.

So in a way, this is kind of my house

away from home.

And so we're going to go to our backyard here at Larchmont.

And I like this idea.

Yeah.

Because as I said, all the amenities you might need, legal pads,

fruit trees, toilets, everything is right here.

And I like the idea of just being in our backyard.

I think it could be fun.

It's going to be outdoors.

It's going to be summersy.

And also, I think it's a tax write-off.

What's the deal with that, Adam?

You might know about the financial implications of doing it on our own business property.

It's cheap.

I know that.

I mean, we're not paying anybody.

I don't know about the tax write-off.

I'm not an accountant.

Well, I'm just putting it out there that this is a business expense, the whole thing, and we're doing Conoco business here at the Konaco property.

Or is it Team Coco?

Or is it Ham Fat?

I have so many subsidiaries I don't even know anymore.

And yeah, we'll look into writing it off for sure.

We'll see.

I don't think we're going to spend a lot, but whatever we spend, we'll write it off.

This is going to be high noon when we do this.

So what precautions are you taking for the sun?

I bought Rose Kennedy's hat that she used to wear it at the beach

at an estate sale.

And

I think we're going to, I think we're planning to, I have thought about this, and it wasn't even me that thought of it.

It's my staff.

I think Shalemi and people are looking into various shades that they can put up.

Umbrellas, screens, tarps.

I think I'm going to be covered in a tarp.

Yeah.

The same tarp that you would put over a barbecue in the rain.

That's going to be covering my head the whole time.

That's good.

Yeah.

I picture you like, do you remember Marlon Brando in the island of Dr.

Moreau and he was just all white cream with a little silver umbrella hat and a white like calftan.

Calf tan, yeah.

Yes, I'm working with the same people that

lathered up, that slathered Marlow and Brando.

They're called Brando slatherers.

It's an actual gig you can get.

It's a union job.

Okay.

And now a shout out to Hershey's and a huge thanks to them for sponsoring Summer S'mores.

I was very psyched when I heard Hershey's was on board.

Same.

Yeah, because I got to tell you, I've been eating Hershey's milk chocolate since I was a little kid.

Yeah, I was like, give me that milk chocolate, and they'd say, okay, and I'd say, is it Hershey's?

And

I'll kill you.

I was a mean little kid.

Yeah, I really insisted it be Hershey's.

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Holds up to, can you guess, Sona?

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You know what?

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I think this is going to be a good move for us.

Sure.

And it's going to really connect us to this property.

It's good, as I said, for tax reasons.

And I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

I don't know.

It really does.

Yeah.

I mean, right now I think the yard is only used for taking dogs out there so they could do their poo-poo and pee-pee out there.

Are you serious?

I really think there's a lot of poo-poo pee-pee out there.

I'm sure people clean up after themselves, don't they?

They do, I think.

What do you mean?

Who are you talking about?

Who has a dog?

Me.

Who brings their dogs there right now?

You personally?

I brought Oki here, and she's on poo-poo-pee-pee out there.

But I have cleaned up.

Okay, who has been bringing dogs here?

Let's, let's, because now David has a dog.

david uh andy brings his dog daisy right and then uh now gina's dog betty is here because

i sometimes bring okie that's four dogs yeah um yeah it's a so that's like the best place where dogs can do their business

so we're going to a dog's toilet to do our summer spores this year the puppy toilet

angle that's okay

um i mean it's clean i don't know what you just said it's covered in dog shit and then you said it's it's clean.

I don't understand.

You and Blae aren't making any sense on this broadcast.

Well, the dog.

Well, covered in dog shit, but it's clean.

The dog shit is fertilizing the fruit trees.

Yay!

We did it.

You know, Matt actually brought up something.

You brought up the idea of getting like a studio cat or like an animal that just lives here at the house.

Yeah.

I want an ape.

I do.

I want like an orangutan.

Like some kind of apexito.

An ape that will eventually lose its mind.

As, you know, Elvis had an ape.

Yeah.

A chimp.

A chimp, right?

You remember his name?

Scatters.

I didn't know.

Scatters.

That's Michael Jackson.

That's Michael Jackson's morals.

No.

Elvis' chimp was called Scatters.

Okay.

And

or just Scatter.

But anyway,

I want it.

I want some kind of ape.

And orangutan would be amazing if he's always just sitting in the corner when we record.

And kind of sullen.

Yeah, they always are.

But then at one moment, he has to lose his mind and attack us.

And he'll rip our face and genitals off.

They do that.

They take your genitals off.

Oh, I guess chimps do.

That's what happened to me.

1974.

But

yeah, I think an ape would be good, some kind of ape or chimp.

Sure, that's a great name.

Why would you name your ape?

What would the ape be named?

This is an improv class, suddenly.

Yes, and it would be called.

Yes, and he just asked you.

Yes, and yesind.

Yesind.

Oh, yesind, the ape?

What about like a little fishbowl right here, you know, or a little.

No, it's got to be something that can go, fish can't go insane at some point.

I want it to be something that after thousands of hours of listening to the podcast has gone truly insane.

How about just some white tigers?

No, we should have an exotic animal here.

Exotic?

I don't, I mean.

But we're out of here for like weeks at a time.

Right.

And then it just roams around the halls looking at pictures of me with various hosts.

And a ringtone would be good because they have orange hair kind of like you do.

And they could sit in if there's a day I can't be here.

There's just an orange ape sitting here and people, 80% of fans don't know the difference.

It's flinging its poop.

And we're like, there's Conan flinging his poop.

We should think about it.

We should look into that.

And someone should get on that.

That's an important thing.

But it does need my only prerequisite is to be an animal that can lose its mind at some point.

And that's important to me.

Okay.

Just to be a mammal that can can lose its mind.

Okay.

A mammal that can go quite insane.

I like this.

I like that we're doing it in the yard.

I think this is a very wise choice.

I'll make sure that, Blae, would you clean the yard first before we go back there?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

I mean, I think if it's Sona's dog and Sona's, as she said, poo-poo-pee-pee, shouldn't you have to clean it up?

No, no, but there are many dogs back there now.

Yeah, if no one goes back there, then it's just, you know, do you think

David has brought his dog back there to do its business?

Why don't we cover him in here and ask if I can do it?

Do you think he cleaned it up?

No, I would be

fire him on the spot if he let Atlas.

David, can you come in here, please?

Can you come in?

Okay, if Atlas went to the bathroom out there and David didn't clean it, and that includes urine, I want urine extracted from the soil with a syringe.

I guarantee you he did not pick up.

I mean, I love David, but I just don't see him as a poop dog.

Oh, he picks up.

He won't leave poop out there.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's a special kind of shitty person who doesn't pick up.

Oh, hey, Atlas.

This is David's new dog, Atlas.

And Atlas is a fine,

it's a Belgian malamois.

It's like a fancy way of saying Malamar, I think.

Oh, that's yeah.

Take more time putting the headphones on.

That's okay.

They're stuck on the chair.

Yeah.

Who knew?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Yeah.

Okay.

He became really entitled after he started bringing his dog here.

So anyway, David,

have you taken Atlas to our small backyard where we're going to be doing.

Yeah, he loves running around there.

Has he relieved himself back there?

He has gone number one back there.

Okay.

No, number two.

No number twos.

Oh, okay.

No, he has.

Okay.

Okie has.

I'm sure Daisy has.

I'm sure Betty has.

Well, I'm sure everyone's taking care of it because, uh, and cleaning up after themselves because we have very responsible staff.

Yeah.

So

I'm excited about the backyard.

I'm going to make sure that it's cleaned beforehand.

I'm sure it is.

And I think these are going to be terrific episodes of Cone and the Chill Chums.

I know that we have special activities planned.

Do I know what they are?

No.

Was a list of the possible things that we might do been put on my desk?

Yes, it was.

Did I look at it?

No, I didn't.

Is this high on my list of things to do?

No, it's not.

Yes, Sony, you have your hand up.

Yeah.

Is there going to be a Gorley cocktail again today?

And are we getting it sooner

than the last episode?

Are we getting it sooner than that?

Gorley, are you thinking about a cocktail that we might serve on the day that we tape this one?

Not today, Sona.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes, and yes.

all right so yeah we're getting a new cocktail and it's going to be an episode sooner good so we've really relaxed the restrictions

it's like semi-prohibition it's so funny because every year i say we're gonna really tighten the reins next year and then we go in the other direction so you're saying i think they were too tight last year and so we had to walk it back yeah okay yeah yeah they were too tight in what way as in we started drinking like the last episode so we obviously so you'd be cogent.

Yes.

Or boring, another way of saying it.

So I had to really down that stuff as soon as I got it.

You get drunk fast.

I do.

My tolerance is low.

My tolerance is low.

Yeah.

You'll have like a lemon cough drop with a little bit of rum flavoring in it, and you'll be three sheets to the wind.

Yes.

That's just a total lie.

But

I am,

again.

I have not reviewed what we might be doing.

I don't know what we're going to be doing.

There's a lot of surprises.

There are a lot of things I don't know.

Blae, you're probably on the team that's thinking of all this kind of stuff.

We have some surprises in store.

That's right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, we definitely have.

We've thought about this.

Wow, great.

What a joyless rendition of what we're going to be doing.

Yeah.

We have thought about it, yes.

I also did buy another dangerous weapon this year at the Wren Fair.

Last year, I brought my big sword to show tack.

So maybe I'll bring my big weapon this year.

Bring your big weapon.

New big big weapon.

Yeah.

We'll see.

I think it's going to be a fun Summer Sports.

I'm excited that it's going to be daytime and that we're not rapping at like 11.30 p.m., which is always a little, everybody, like Sona's kind of, no offense, a little drunk.

It's really late.

We're all trying to wrap up and go home.

But this time it's going to be in the afternoon.

Very exciting.

I'm just drunk during the day.

Yeah.

Okay.

I could do the

numb.

I like nighttime shoots too, though.

I mean, daytime is fun, but nighttime is cool too.

Do You know that thing where when you're around people that you work with, but it's nighttime, it's that very elemental, it goes back to when you're a kid and you see your teacher

in the parking lot at night.

It feels weird.

You attack them.

That's just me.

No, I didn't know you meant that.

It does feel weird.

It feels like you've kind of like ran into them in an intimate way or something.

But we're friends.

Yeah, we are.

I mean, we've never.

We are.

Well, I mean, we've never like hung out and gone to the movies.

You and I, back in the day, we did plenty of hanging out.

We're pals.

No, yeah, we're still pals, I think.

Not so much.

Okay.

All right.

Well, the three of us.

Well, you had children, and then suddenly they were your focus.

Oh, I know.

I thought that was weird.

I'm sorry I did that.

There's a distance.

And then, you know what, David, I'm going to say, since you got Atlas, your new pup,

you are not as attentive.

When I told you that I was looking at a dog, your first thought was, what about me?

It's true.

Oh, my God.

Who's going to take me for my wife?

That's what you said.

Oh, my God.

Do you need to go poopy and peepee out in the backyard?

It's not.

Am I going to have to clean that up?

All right, guys.

Come on, don't do the poop-o-peepee humor.

Come on, let's be adults, guys.

You can always go a rung lower, I guess.

Yeah, come on.

It's going to be a fantastic series of chill chums episodes.

I'm excited about it.

I'm going to keep saying that until I believe it.

I believe that these are going to be the way forward.

And

I look forward to this adventure with both of you.

Same Z's.

And I think being in that backyard together, which is just maybe, I think, I'm going to say it's 14 feet from where I'm sitting right now.

It is probably.

It is really close.

I think it's 14 feet.

It's nodding correct.

It's right behind the wall that Elvero is.

Elvero.

He's drunk.

He's drunk.

Elviro.

You know who Alvero is?

I know.

I know.

Elviro is the guy I do weights with three days a week, and so I associate with him with great pain and torment.

So when I looked into Eduardo's eyes, I thought, I'm a chain.

I'm talking about some male version of Elvira.

Like goddess of

the dark, you know?

I'm Elvira.

Right behind the wall that your back is up against is the great.

And I can't wait to explore that wondrous backyard.

And that wall.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, listen.

If this episode sold you on what's coming up, then you're an idiot.

Chill chums.

More chill chums coming your way pretty soon.

Backyard.

Larchmont Studios.

Summer S'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovesian, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Fross, and Nick Liao.

Theme song by The The White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

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