Kesha

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Hi, my name is Kesha.

And I feel county about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

That's exactly what Michelle Obama said.

She did not.

That was what Al Pacino said.

Folly's here, hear the yell.

Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, my eternal search for friendship, really meaningful friendship.

So far, how many of these shows have we done?

300 and something.

And not one person has agreed to be my friend.

This is a journey.

It's like Hercules and his labors.

I'm just out there trying, but I'll keep trying.

I'm joined by my, I hope, friends, my pals.

We're friends.

And employees.

That's true.

Yeah.

Sona Musessian.

You said 300, and I was going to guess like 3,000.

No, 350, something like that, right?

350.

I was way off.

Okay.

And Matt Gorley, how are you?

I'm good.

I haven't seen you guys in a while.

We've spent a little time apart, and I did miss you guys.

I say that with genuine feeling, which is rare for me.

And I'm curious how everyone's doing.

Sona, what you've been up up to?

I fell down the stairs a couple of weeks ago.

We're laughing already.

Well, you're here, so you weren't killed.

No, I wasn't killed.

Tell us what happened.

It was at my new place, and I was coming down the stairs, and I slipped.

And so I like slid down the stairs on my, on my butt.

So it was like a ton, ton, ton, ton, ton, all the way down.

And nobody was around.

Like, Tak was in the shower.

And so it was one of those things where you just kind of are like, well, I just fell.

Now I have to just get up and continue on with my day.

Did, did, uh, did you get it?

Did it hurt?

It hurts so bad.

On the

cocksy, the tailbone?

Yes, on my tailbone.

And it still hurts.

Like, I'm having, like, I'm kind of like moving around a lot on the chair right now because it's like kind of uncomfortable for me.

Tack came out of the shower and he was like, what was that?

It sounded like something really heavy fell.

Okay, tack.

Who threw a piano down the stairs?

Who threw an Armenian piano down the stairs?

Ah, come on.

But it was just like, you know, when you fall, it's like, it could be funny if someone else is around or if other people are.

You're chilling right now.

If other people like come and check on you, then it's like, oh, okay, she fell.

It's weird, you know, but she's okay.

They make it kind of normal.

Yes, but when you're by yourself and you just, you're at the end of your fall and you're just kind of in a weird position and you're like, okay, I just have to get up and just keep going.

Right.

That's life.

I know.

That's all of life.

And it's ironic because people falling is one of my favorite things.

Oh, my God.

You have shown me.

Over the years as my assistant, long before this podcast, you would say I would hear explosive laughter.

I'd be trying to get a show together.

I'd hear explosive laughter.

I'd go out and you would be watching a bride come out at her happiest moment and then fall into a big bowl of dog shit

like

and you would be crying i would too

and then and and you know what it is it's best it's best when it happens when someone's preening you know if there is some there is a difference if a person just falls it's not as funny as someone who's dressed up for their big moment and grinning and saying, Everybody, look at me.

And then they trip.

Do you know what I mean?

And it's.

There was a video I bookmarked and would watch over and over again.

It was these two men dressed as mascots, so in big costumes, and they were on ice and they were doing a commercial for I think cars or a car dealership.

Okay.

We're going to have to throw to this.

We're going to find this and throw to it.

Wait, wait, hold on.

Hold on.

Real quick.

Listeners, go to the YouTube channel or one of the mascots who could be.

One of the mascots could not stay standing.

I'm so glad I brought this up.

Oh, my God.

You got to find him.

Throw to the tape.

Go to the tape.

He's like, you know, he's like walking around and then he just

goes down hard.

Oh, Mike, you've been defeated.

Oh, my God.

You're in vapor lock.

Defeated.

I'm actually crying.

I can't speak.

I think about it.

I think like on a regular basis.

I think about it more than I think about my kids sometimes.

Just this video of this guy.

This D is like, did you find it?

Please tell me you found it of these people on a mascot.

This is it.

Yes.

This is it.

I've seen it.

Oh, my God.

I'm crying.

Put it up.

I'm crying.

Put it up.

I'm going to cry more.

You know what does that for me?

Have you ever seen the drunk Ewok on the Today Show?

Halloween

that pumps their legs and does Michael Jackson dancing?

Oh my god, it's incredible.

It's like a Halloween display.

Oh, wait, here we go.

Here we go.

Oh, my God.

Is this it?

Yes.

Yeah, it's the Coopers.

Oh.

Don't make him keep doing it.

I didn't go.

Help him!

Help him!

Are they playing Yagani sex?

What?

Oh my God.

Okay, whatever that car is, I'm buying it.

Why?

Why do they keep me?

Look at her.

Look at her.

She's a puddle.

That lived up, Sona.

I wasn't thinking that was going to live up.

No, no, no, no, no.

But look at her.

That was pretty good.

She's going to die.

You're not getting enough air.

Like, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes I get really scared.

I'm not breathing enough when I left.

All right, we got to do this.

Video does it all every single time.

We got to do this.

My guest today is a singer-songwriter whose first independently produced album, Period, is out now.

Very happy she's here today.

She's an old friend from back in the day.

Kesha, welcome.

I know it's a podcast.

It's an audio medium, but you look, as always, fantastic.

And we do have cameras rolling.

Anyone, you've got to go online.

You've got to check out, right,

how Kesha's dressed.

You look fantastic.

Thank you.

Which camera do I like to do?

Stand and look.

Give it.

I mean, we have all these cameras here.

You look incredible, as you always do.

You're wearing Conan merchandise.

And this is...

Oh, my God.

I just wanted to make sure that you're going to be able to do it.

Oh, my Lord.

And this is what you will look like if you buy Conan merchandise.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

Kesha was a 77-year-old man before she put that shirt on and became.

I am so glad you're here.

You look gorgeous.

You look fantastic.

You are all things Kesha.

And I want to start by

reminiscing.

Let's go.

You came on my show in 2010, I believe, when you were blowing up with TikTok and you kept coming back on my show.

I I wouldn't leave.

You would not leave, but you were such a loyal person.

You always came back to the show.

You were always great.

We had great interviews.

We had great moments.

You would perform.

You were just a trooper and so nice to me.

And I wanted to first thank you for that.

Oh, okay.

You're just

a, you're, you were great.

And then I wanted to reminisce about, we're not getting into specifics today about the various shit that you have gone through.

We're going to stay clear of all that for all legal reasons and blah, blah, blah.

But I was walking along in Venice a bunch of years ago when you were in the midst of some real dark times and we bump into each other and I gave you a hug.

I hugged you because I just knew that you were going through this bad time.

And we had this like nice moment of me asking you, how you doing?

You talking to me.

It was this nice human moment.

Of course, you're Kesha.

So there's paparazzi.

Yeah.

I had never seen paparazzi before.

They are not interested in Conan O'Brien.

So I was like, hey, so that's paparazzi.

They avoid you.

Yeah, no, Conan Orazzi.

They do not.

No, no.

They call you.

No, a photo of Conan O'Brien is

worth less.

Even in the digital era, you lose money on a photo of Conan O'Brien.

But they got this photo.

And so I thought, and it circulated, and I thought, got to first call the wife about hugging.

Kesha on the street.

To confess.

To confess.

Yes.

That, yes, Kesha and I have been seeing each other secretly.

But on a personal level, I'm very happy for you that you have gone through

a really bad experience and come out the other side seemingly stronger than ever.

Thank you.

Looking beautiful and making great music.

And so just, I just wanted to start with that, like this just big dose of positivity.

I love it.

And as my old friend, I'm proud of you for hanging in there.

Oh, my God.

This means so much coming from you.

You're iconic.

And the reason I kept showing up not because you're iconic, but because you're such a good man.

Like you're so kind.

And you can just tell in Hollywood, there's everybody.

And then there's like the especially bad ones, but then there's like sprinkled with especially good ones.

And I just could always tell from the very beginning.

And I was like, he's an especially, like you're a magical like light worker.

Like you're just amazing.

So that's why I do this.

And that's why I show up with you.

Guitars in your face on micro listen to this you look at you look what you brought you br you you bring me this gorgeous fender strat which is i love a fender strat i look at this yes i know we're now at game show

and i've never seen that color with a black pick guard and it is absolutely how's the action on that baby the action is satisfaction okay

i shouldn't have asked him i know i regret it

that was so nice of you you're just a lovely person but literally, it's because you're such an amazing person.

Oh, like that.

We got to take this on the road.

I think I should be part of your

live show.

Let's go.

I'm going on tour, baby.

Let's go.

I know.

And it's called the Tits Out Tour.

Yeah, you'll have to get your Tits Out, though.

Listen,

when I let these babies out,

you are going to see audience attendance plunge

when these two Irish cutlets come out.

Bring them out, baby.

That says two.

Two little dollops of spam.

That is both too poetic and too on the nose.

Oh, my God.

Irish cutlets.

They got to come out.

They've never seen sunlight, and it is time.

Let's go.

Come to MSG.

I'm headlining Madison Square Garden for the first time in my entire career.

Wait, how could that be the first time?

I've played there many times.

It's the first time I'm headlining.

So, like, having gone through the shit I've gone through,

not fun.

Don't need to talk about it.

But I will say, say, I am proud of me too.

You should be.

I am proud of me.

And I'll say something.

I want to go back and take people, just, this is not news to you, but your story, you've been working at this for a very long time.

I like to highlight those parts of the story because there are a lot of people that can think attractive woman hits it big.

It can just happen.

They don't understand the years and years of the songwriting you were doing since you were a kid.

Oh, yeah.

Your Your mom,

a songwriter, totally, yeah.

Wrote for Dolly Parton, wrote for a bunch of people.

Johnny Cash,

but you guys had hard times,

food stamps, not a lot of money, struggle.

And from an early age, you were writing songs and working on becoming yourself.

Yeah.

Well, I kind of like got the assignment when I was little.

Like, my mom was like, you're going to be a pop star.

And I was like, I am.

She's like, yeah.

And I was like, all right.

And so then I was going to go to Columbia.

I didn't know that you went to Harvard.

Yeah.

That's because you're a smarty little genius.

No, no, lots of evil, trust me, lots of evil, dumb people go there too.

I believe you.

Yeah.

Every college encompasses all kinds of people.

So yeah, there are war criminals there right now that are training to be war criminals.

But that aside, and don't worry, I'll make a donation.

You were working on, your mom told you you're going to be a pop star and you took the assignment seriously.

Well, I'm also secretly, people don't know this about me because I, you know, have my butt hanging out and I brush my teeth with a bottle of jack.

These kind of things.

So people think I'm like dupey, but actually, I was really smart.

You're dupey like a fox.

You're dupey like a fox.

I'm dupey like a fox.

No, I got like almost perfect SAT scores.

My IQ, I forget what it was, but it was impressive.

And I was going to go.

Before all the Jack Daniels got me.

Before all the Jack Daniels got to me.

And I was going to go to Columbia and study comparative religion and psychology.

Uh-huh.

And then instead, I signed a record deal.

Yeah.

So, what was my point?

Well, I think the point is,

and it does not surprise me.

You're saying, oh, it might surprise some people that you're smart.

Yeah.

There's all kinds of ways of being smart.

And it does not surprise me at all that you're really smart.

And

watching, first of all, the tenacity that you took to your career, I think for your first album, if I'm correct, you wrote like 200 songs.

Oh, every album I write like 200 songs.

I write many songs.

This week, I've probably written like nine songs.

It's insane.

Most of them are bad.

And that's like how some of the hits come out is because I'm like, okay, yesterday I wrote a good song.

Today I'm going to write one or two songs.

So let me just write like the worst song.

And then all of a sudden the worst one I can write ends up being the fan favorite.

Well, that does not surprise me.

There's an old saying that every person who comes out with the great American novel

has 15 terrible novels in their desk.

Yeah.

And the problem is, once they write the hit novel, then the publishers quickly want another one.

So they go, oh, I got them.

And it's like, yeah, there's a reason those didn't go.

Yeah, you have to write.

I mean, Leonard and McCartney wrote hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of songs before they get to writing the good stuff.

And I think a lot of art is good editing.

It's what you take out.

Now, this podcast, we don't seem to take much out.

It would be 10 seconds long.

And we just can't make it anymore.

Yeah, this isn't art.

So we know that.

That's not true.

Humor, to me, is the most impressive kind of art.

I'm going to challenge you on that.

I think in moments.

I think in moments we hit these really nice high notes, and then there's a lot of Matt going blah, blah, blah.

And Sona going, blah, blah, blah.

Why do I sound like that?

You have a beautiful high register.

Oh.

It's funny because you describe yourself as a kid as a seeker

and that you tried out different churches.

You were looking for something.

Well, so since I was little, okay, let me back this up.

It's my last lifetime.

And I always knew that.

But then I recently was at the Naked Hippie Commune and the medicine woman was like, you know, it's your last lifetime.

I was like, I know, right?

She's like, it definitely is.

So ever since, because I'm Pisces.

And Pisces means you've had other, you're saying you've had other lifetimes.

How many do you think you've had?

Oh, too many.

Okay.

And this is the last one.

This is it, baby.

This is the finale.

That's why I got it all popping off like crazy.

Yeah.

So it's the last one because I was like, give me all you got.

And God was like, are you sure?

And I'm like, yeah, bitch.

And then I'm like, you know, when I'm here, God, bitch, he tends to throw thunderbolts down at me.

Or she.

Or they.

I'm just going to cover every base here.

But what I'm saying is, I don't like the way you talk to God.

I think it's just

my only problem.

So this is your last lifetime.

I would be okay with this being my last lifetime because I've loved this lifetime.

And if this is it, I am not greedy for more.

I don't think it's going to get better.

When's your birthday?

April 18th.

Oh, you're at the beginning, honey.

Oh, no, I can't do more.

This is like your first one.

You have like 3,000 minimum left.

I'm more worried for the world than I say.

Well, it's gonna, it's gonna be end times.

It's all post-apocalyptic, me babbling as a new person.

So you were going to, you were, you know, this is your last.

Oh, so it's my last.

I told you this.

A shaman told you this.

Well, this medicine woman, so I go to this place called Esalen, and it's like, you can be naked.

And you started as an alternative to an insane asylum, but it's in the redwood forest.

And you go and you soak in like these lithium-filled baths, and you're naked, and it's beautiful, and there's butterflies.

We love it.

So I go go there and then I met this medicine woman and she's like, oh my God.

And I was like, I know.

And she's like, I'm like, I know.

And she's like, it's your last lifetime, you know?

I'm like, yes.

And so we've been doing all this work trying to get me like spiritually focused and ready to just like spread as much love in the most adorable package

as much as I can.

till the day I die.

Let me ask you a question.

Would I do okay at Eslin?

Be honest.

You would love it.

Have you ever been?

Do you know about it?

I've never been naked.

So

we'll come to the Torangature.

So, so, so,

no, but what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, I don't know.

Be honest.

Try and be and be, we're friends.

Be honest.

How would I do at Eslen?

Well, how do you feel about spiders?

I'm okay with spiders.

Okay.

How do you feel about like nakedness?

I like other people being naked.

Okay.

Totally down with it.

How do you feel about hippies?

Hippies, I'm cool with hippies.

you'd be you'd be great yeah yeah you can go and like take different i teach songwriting there oh wow yeah okay so i'm down with all of it i'm down with everyone else being naked me maybe in a three-piece suit no that's great you can do whatever makes but with a little butt like uh assless chaps wait but you're watching everybody who's naked and you're fully clothed and sketching them sounding sounding kind of weird i've done that there

and i found a little window i can peer out of Oh, no.

Yeah, peering through a little window.

And I brought the little window.

I set it up between two trees.

You were never invited there.

And I was not invited there, and I'm escorted out, and I run away every time I go.

Jeez, you were invited.

Now you're not invited.

I'm not invited.

You just disinvited me.

No, you would love it.

We should go.

Honestly, if you ever want to go for a weekend, it's my favorite place in the world.

Okay.

And what was my point of all of this?

You don't need a point.

That's the thing is it's not going to happen.

Is that how podcasts work?

You don't have to have a point.

You don't need a point.

That's how this one works.

So I just don't have to have a point.

I love it.

I have responsibility.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to give you your point.

Go ahead.

And this is the ultimate form of mansplaining.

I'll tell you, Kesha, what you meant.

Tell me my point.

Well, I was asked bringing up the fact that as a kid, you were a seeker.

You went to like tent.

You should drive around to different churches or have your mom drive around to explore.

And it sounds like this has been a theme in your life.

You're going to Eslund.

You're just, you're out there to try and find out whatever you can find out.

You're curious.

Which takes a certain amount of bravery, I would say.

Oh, my God.

It's

very psychedelic out here.

You guys don't think?

It's so surreal.

I have the trippiest experiences and I'm like, it's a fine line between like spiritual and just insane, but like, I love writing that line.

And I've just had so many interesting, like serendipitous experiences, like where my cat, I had a spiritual awakening and I like saw the universe and my cat brought me headphones and a guy.

Was that real, the part where your cat brings you headphones?

I swear to God, Mr.

Peeps.

I swear to God, Mr.

Peeps.

With What brand headphones?

You can turn this into a pod.

And then Mr.

Peeps can make some money.

Come on, Peter.

Let's go.

No, so here.

What are we using here?

It was this giant Shura headphones by Kat brought me those.

Sure.

Cat approved.

That's Mr.

Peeps.

They're really good.

Peeps just made $40,000.

He does that.

To the Mook ice cream is extremely creamy.

It's basically what regular ice cream wishes it could be if ice cream were sentient and had thoughts.

Made with high-quality ingredients, each bite is rich, smooth, and creamy.

And with 48-ounce family-size option, there's enough to share.

But when the ice cream is this good, well, sharing is optional.

Blae, you got to trust me on this.

This ice cream is off the charts.

That's D-A charts.

I love my favorite is the brownie batter.

You like the brownie batter?

Oh, the best.

Yeah.

So delicious.

Perfect Tillamook flavor for you, Blae.

It's so creamy, Tillamook.

Oh, so creamy.

Whatever flavor you get, you'll enjoy it.

You know, I like things simple like vanilla beans, cookies and cream, of course, good chocolate hazel.

Find Tillamook ice cream near you at tillamook.com.

That's T-I-L-L-A-M-O-O-K.com.

As a team mobile member, you can take the perks with you because you're traveling with magenta status.

That's cool.

I love saying it.

I know.

I could tell.

Ask me my status.

Hey, Conan, what's your status?

Magenta status.

It starts the moment you take off with free in-flight Wi-Fi so you can stream your favorite show on the go.

Plus, you're covered with 15 gigabytes of high-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations with experience experience beyond plan.

That's cool.

And this magenta status sounds amazing.

Blai, tell me, I think you get magenta status.

What's it entail?

What's included in magenta status?

Yeah, I have t-mobile.

I have had t-mobile for a long time.

I love it.

And, you know, when we went to Thailand, I got great coverage and great high-speed data, which means that I could...

I hear it's up to 15 gigabytes.

That's right.

How did you know that?

That's the word on the street.

Wow.

I hear people going 15 gigabytes.

Yeah, that's incredible.

Yeah.

But it was great.

I was connected and it really helped.

Well, this sounds great.

Find out how you can experience travel better at tmobile.com slash travel today.

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Terms and conditions apply.

This episode is brought to you by FX's Alien Earth, the official podcast.

Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast, and crew, in this exclusive companion podcast.

They will explore the story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode-by-episode behind-the-scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series.

Search FX's Alien Earth wherever you listen to podcasts.

So, anyways, so like weird psychedelic things have been happening my whole life.

So, I started, because in school, I was like, I don't.

I don't know if I belong with these people because I'm in like outside of Nashville.

People are thrown around the n-word I'm like I think I'm gay and then I was like well actually I just don't like anybody and so then I met punk rockers and I was like wait I fuck with punk rockers because they're like don't give a fuck but they stand in their integrity but like in a very offensive way yeah it's kind of fun and so I was like in your face

yeah that's the essence of punk rock is lean into it in your face this is happening yeah but like at the at the heart of it there's a lot of integrity yeah that's just mixed with rage and like, I don't give a fuck how this reads to you, but like it is what it is.

And I loved that like Iggy Pop was a guiding light for me.

So I'm in like middle school.

I'm like, mom, will you drive me from one super church to the other one?

And my first kiss outside of a super church, and I was like, I have always been fascinated with what makes people do what they're doing, like survive.

Like, what do you believe in?

What are we doing?

What are we doing here?

And who are you going to listen to about how to do it?

And like, why?

So that was always my fascination.

Even with becoming a pop star, like I always thought Mick Jagger was very similar to like the preachers I would see at the church.

Like there's a similarity there.

He's a good front man.

Yeah.

A good front man is serving the same purpose as a preacher.

Yeah.

It's this tireless energy and then they have to project.

hardcore belief in what they're doing.

Totally.

It's easier to be Bill Wyman, the bass player in the Stones, formerly bass player, but like you can kind of hang back and have a bad day.

But if you're Mick Jagger, you can never have a bad day.

You can't doubt.

You can't have a doubt in your damn body about what you're doing.

And like that faith.

I'm like, shit, I want that faith in something.

That's wild.

So I always was like really fascinated to that energy.

And like, did you know you could get up on a stage or that you belonged up on a stage even as a kid?

No, I was like the person that everyone's like, you're too weird to to even like sit near.

Like you're just so weird.

And so, no, I didn't want to be on the stage.

I was like, I'm just going to go make out with some dude.

That has been my motto my whole life.

Fuck you guys.

I'm going to go make out with some hot dude.

This was your religion, in a way.

Honestly, deadass.

Yeah.

I dabbled in that a little bit.

Sona worked with me for quite a while.

During the period of time when you were coming on the show and everything, Sona was making out with some dude up in my office.

Good job.

She was supposed to be filing.

Who's done the filing lately?

This is my, it was my religion.

Yeah, it was your religion.

So

I love that.

I just saw there's a song in there.

Go on.

You got to cut her in.

No, it's fine.

You know, it's interesting to me that, and I didn't realize that you were doing backup vocals for a while before you hit it on your own.

That's a very interesting role, I would think, and very educational because you're around Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, and you're watching them do it.

And you're doing this, providing this very technical assistance to them as the, you know, and helping them out, but you're also, you're kind of watching from the side, but seeing how it's done.

Totally.

And like absorbing it all.

Like I've worked with all different kinds of people in the business, but one of the greats is Rick Rubin.

Yep.

And like just seeing how he's done it alongside of how someone like Ariana does it alongside of, I wrote a song for Brittany.

Like just kind of like taking these notes and that's why I teach songwriting is because I'm like I've been around some of the most incredible like artists yeah of our generation not let alone myself right so exactly very cutting tea

this is only gonna be the podcast that's used that word the third most that's true right and two others that are still ahead of you

I like watching I like watching people in flow that's why you wanted to know why I brought you a guitar is because I love watching people in flow.

I love seeing people in their creative and like anything can be creative, right?

Like the way I got dressed today, it's creative.

Yes.

You took a Conan t-shirt and you took it so to the next level that,

yeah.

I've never been attracted to myself.

Now I am.

Wait a minute, that's not true.

Promoting self-love in here, too.

We love love that.

You're not attracted to Kesha.

You're attracted to yourself.

Kesha.

Kesha is making the t-shirt with me on it attractive.

Yeah, I'm certainly attracted to you as well.

So let's talk about this because you put in the time, you work, you work, you work.

Then I meet you when TikTok hits and it's a phenomenon.

And you have described the feeling that so many people wish and pray for this day.

And when it happens, though, it's kind of mind-altering because you had been playing in front of, oh, I just played a show and there were a couple hundred people there.

And then overnight.

Dude, it was not.

Don't you call me dude.

I almost called you.

I'm an admiral in the Navy.

You call me Admiral O'Brien.

I'm an admiral in the Kesha Navy.

I stopped myself from saying, bitch.

No, okay.

No, bitch is okay.

Okay.

This admiral is okay, but not to God.

Okay.

So the shows I was playing before that were like 10 people and the the one guy at the bar was asleep.

So does he count?

I don't know.

And then I played Lollapalooza and I would look out and I was like, oh, they must be here for the person after me.

Right.

Who's standing behind me?

And I was like, what?

And then they knew the song and I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

And then that night it was like hanging out with the black keys and they came to the show and I'm like, whoa, what the hell?

It happened so fast.

So fast.

And my mind was like, what?

It was very weird.

well i remember you came on for tick tock and then you kept coming back uh uh with other performances and what i always remember is how you're so quick and funny and your whole spirit was let's see where this goes which was great which was really nice and you had this sense of humor about

I'm sure that I'm trying to say this right way, like you would use your sexuality in this way that was really fun.

Silly and fun.

Silly and fun and things firing out of your chicha?

Use the terms.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize we were in Nicaragua.

Please, someone translate for me.

Two counties and a chicha.

We got them.

Oh, I love them.

And one chicha.

I'm not familiar with the chicha

or the vagina for that matter.

Both were writing it, yeah.

Yeah, I'm just trying to get my terms right.

You know, when Kesha comes on, it comes with a term sheet?

Yeah.

It does.

God is a bitch.

There's hunties and chichas.

Can we get a telestrator in here as well?

But no, like literally, and things were firing out of your nipples.

And it was.

There was.

Wait a minute.

That's a dream I had.

Yeah, you had, you would, you would, there was a burlesque, fun attitude about it all,

which was, had an almost cartoonish element to it.

And it was, it was fun.

It was for lack of, I mean, that's the, that's the word.

It was fun and

experimental and artistic and silly and absurd and the whole thing mashed together.

Totally.

Cause I like, I grew up not knowing, I didn't have my God to pray to, like, even in anywhere.

I was like, and I, and then I've started to realize like, it's kind of cool that I do feel like a true original.

In ways, I wished I had someone to be like, I want to be just like that person, but there's like nobody to really point to.

Like, there are a lot of amazing people I want to be like in ways, but there's not just like one person.

Well, I have this theory that I've had for a while, which is we all grow up looking at people and thinking, I really like what they're doing.

I really like what they're doing.

I really like what they're doing.

And it's your failure to be the person.

And I use the word failure.

It's not really a failure, but it's your attempt to be the person and your inability to be them that makes you original.

Totally.

I like, I have many thoughts about this.

So I think authenticity is the highest vibration you can vibrate at, like true authenticity, not trying to be somebody, like really just your authentic, weird self with your family dynamic passed down in your body and your DNA and where you come from and everything you've seen and done.

Like your authenticity, you're the only one.

Like everyone is a true original.

And so I've like started playing a fun game with myself.

Like how authentic can I be?

And it freaks people out.

It kind of freaks me out sometimes.

But then I'm like, well, it's authentic.

This is the game we're playing.

It's your last lifetime.

So that's A.

Wait, there was a really good point.

Hold on.

Let me tell you what it was.

What was it?

B.

Tariffs don't

okay.

I remember now.

Sorry.

Okay.

I made a guess and I was wrong.

Not, was not.

Okay.

Height of the pop stardom, like bajazzled body suits, not eating,

like trying to be, trying to be this thing that I'm not.

Yep.

And I just like hit a wall where I'm like doing the

dancing and I'm like, this is not me.

Everybody wants me to be this and I'm trying to please them because I like people to be happy.

I want people to be happy.

Timber, biggest song in the world.

Took off the bejazzled bodysuit, stopped the arena tour.

Started a punk band called Yeast Infection, played dive bars, much to the dismay of everybody around me.

Oh my God, they were not happy.

But like, that's one of my proudest moments.

Cause like, I did grow up on food stamps.

I'm not scared of what it means to not have money.

Like, fuck that.

I'm going to stand in my integrity of who I am and in my authenticity.

And I'm not going to stand for, like, I'd become the thing that I like hated.

Like, I don't want little girls looking up to someone who's not eating and me pretending like I'm eating, but I'm not.

Like, no, I'm not going to do this.

That's not who I am.

It's not what I stand for.

Fuck that.

And that was like when everything changed, Where I was like, I tried it your way, you guys, and it's bullshit.

And now I'm doing it my way.

And like, take whatever you want because my fucking genius is in my mind.

So you can never have it.

You can own my voice.

You can do the thing.

You blah, blah, blah.

Let's talk about that because the album you're coming out with now is the first time that you've owned the rights to your voice.

Is that right?

Yeah.

It's the first time I've had the legal rights to my recorded voice since I was 18 years old.

Jesus.

Oh Oh my God.

Yeah.

And after a 10-year litigation, three states.

But like, it was kind of.

And this is period.

This is the.

Yeah.

And it is, it's a strange thing to think about.

And I can kind of relate, not on the same scale, but I can kind of relate when you're young and super hungry.

You just want in.

When you're just happy to be there.

You're happy to be there.

And so, and this is one of the oldest stories in show business is pop stars when they're 17, 18, signing everything away because someone's saying, We have the microphone.

The microphone's in that room.

If you want to sing into it, sign this piece of paper and you'll do it.

Yeah.

Well, and you also like your brain's not fully developed.

I grew up without a father, you know, came from very humble beginnings.

And so, like, also didn't really understand in perpetuity in the universe.

Like, that's what I signed.

And in my mind, I'm like, I'm a punk rocker.

Like, he's going to take, they're going to take a bunch of money.

That's fine.

Like, I don't care about money.

But actually, what I didn't realize is like in perpetuity in the universe of my voice, like, that's a, yeah, it's a big thing you're signing.

Yeah.

And then

I just like,

I like reached max capacity, biggest song in the world moment.

And then it was like,

no.

Yeah.

So that's when I saw you in the street.

So I needed that hug.

So thank you.

I was wandering around hoping I could hug Kesha.

And I manifested you.

I love that.

And I was like, I got to get her fast because it's her last life.

You can do that.

It is.

And I knew that I had 10,000 lives still to go.

But I knew I couldn't get you the next time around.

Oh, right.

Because you're not going to be around this next time.

No, or never.

It's going to be some other Masonic.

I don't want to hug that creep.

This period of time that you went through this crazy.

litigation and all that stuff that everyone's read about.

And I don't think people that have been through legal things on that scale can understand how it consumes your whole life.

You know,

and like it takes over your whole life.

And

when it has to do with your creativity and what you do to keep yourself sane, that's doubly, it's not like, oh, you're being sued over a parking lot that you own in Encino and you may not get to see it for a while or you may lose part of it.

It's your essence of who you are.

Well, it's the thing that you,

yeah, it's, it's weird.

It's like your soul is like on paper owned by someone else, but you're like, but it's in my body and I have rights to my body, but all of this is infiltrated every ounce of my body and my brain.

And it just is really toxic and it's really unfortunate because, you know, people use it as like a tool to torture.

And it works.

Like it was really, really hard.

And I just remember getting more and more scared and paranoid because like the fuckery, but then also, like, how long it went on.

And that was by design.

Yeah.

And, you know, I remember being told that by the time I got out of this situation, I would be old and I would be broke and I would be irrelevant.

So every single time that I do anything that connects, it hits like on a level people will never understand.

Right.

And so like, it's like.

It's a great, it's a sweet revenge.

Oh, it's also just like, it's not true.

Like, I'm not old, goddammit.

And I'm, well, the legal bills, but, and I'm not irrelevant.

And so that it's like, it's nice to have people that believe in you.

And like, so I appreciate you.

And I always have from the beginning, like our relationship from the beginning.

It's so funny that you, because I feel like we're in, in tune in some crazy way, uh, because you bring this guitar and you talk about flow state.

That is the way I chill is

before you showed up, I was upstairs with an Epiphone Epiphone casino strapped on, just doing scales and noodling and doing little riffs because that in my office, because that's how I kind of turn off the noise is I've found that if my hands are busy, the noise goes away.

And if I'm doing scales or if I'm doing, it's just everything calms down a little bit.

Yes, this is what the Real Housewives at Beverly Hills does to me.

I'm dead ass right now.

I don't know why, but it scratches that part of my brain.

But, you know, I completely relate to that.

I've said this before, but for my wife, it is below deck.

She likes her some below deck.

And there are times where she's so smart and she's so, you know, hyper-literate and hyper-competent.

And then there are times where I'll just find her in a room and she's...

like got Cheeto dust in her face and she's just watched like 15 down under below decks in a row.

you're like, are you all right?

I'm like, are you all right?

And she's like, who are you?

Like, I'm your husband of 23 years.

You've never seen me naked, but I really am.

And so, I mean, but that is, I understand that.

I understand that.

We all need, well, I think because creativity has become like, it became my job.

And then it became like, I have to fight for this like so fucking hard.

I need like 30 minutes one time a week to watch some ladies ladies yell about their Birkins.

Okay.

The Birkin, such an innocent shoe.

Or a bag?

The bag.

This is a fake Birkin.

That's a fake Birkin?

Oh, yeah, but you can't tell, right?

South Korea.

You could not.

The minute you walked in, I was like, fucking fake Birkin.

And you know what?

Matt gave me the signal to cancel.

He did.

He gave me the let's cut this off.

We got a fake Birkin in the house.

And we can't talk to you.

You might meet not the real Kesha.

We actually switched that out with a real Birkin when you weren't looking.

I would have loved that.

That's our prank show.

Oh, my God.

Giving people real Birkins?

Okay.

I'll play.

You know, you had the moment, you talk about these little cultural moments.

You knew you had made it.

You said when The Simpsons switched out their opening of their show, because they always do a different opening.

They did an opening featuring TikTok.

And you're like, okay.

It's like, fine.

Got it.

I guess this is on.

And I was

like, and then it was like wild style.

It was just like wild style.

My life's been wild style.

Wild style.

It's just the only way I can describe it.

So are you willing to have like a boring day that

I know you mentioned you want to watch your Beverly Hills Housewives?

Yeah, that's, I don't.

But, but, but are, do you ever take a day and just, I don't know, you know, make a, make some pasta.

A cake.

A cake, bake a cake,

paint a wall.

No.

Do some electrical repair.

To be honest, no, this is like kind of a problem.

I have no chill.

I have a tattoo that says chill.

It's a lie.

I'm not chilling.

That's why you got the tattoo to try and chill.

Yeah.

Just get more tattoos.

Yeah.

I have a tattoo that says stop coughing.

You do?

No, but I wish I had a tattoo.

Well, it doesn't help.

But no, I don't understand.

But when you're at this retreat,

okay.

But then you're romping around naked, chasing the butterflies and like tromping up in the hills.

And then go in the art barn.

And then you go and you like dance your traumas away.

And then the medicine woman is.

Are you still naked when this is all happening?

You like can be, but I wasn't dancing naked.

Good.

I agree with you.

making little noises.

Again, I'm the creep who's peering in at SLM.

You know what, I'm in a faraway hill with crazy big, comically large binoculars going, oh, I think I see Kishir.

You're wearing like a sniper ghillie suit.

No, I'm not wearing a, I'm wearing a birding outfit.

So it's, you go and like.

You don't usually dance naked.

You're usually just naked

in a hot springs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't be weird about it, Conan.

Don't be weird about what?

Dancing naked is problematic,

I'm sure.

You know?

Why?

I don't know.

Things could get caught in the machinery.

What?

What machinery?

There might be a thresher nearby.

I don't know.

I haven't thought this all the way through.

I assumed they're out in the woods and there's a threshing machine.

Your Irish cutlets are going to get caught in the combat.

I won't have my Irish cutlets thrashed in some thresher.

Kesha,

you've ruined this podcast forever.

Let me short-circuit after you said cheat.

I know.

You said cheesecake.

And you know what?

Once that happened,

let's not discount bejazzled either.

Are we writing these down?

What do we have?

We've got two counties.

Well, I guess two cheeches now for counting that one.

Writing these.

One Irish cutlets and one bejazzled.

Count it.

Yeah.

Literally, the dorkiest thing you could do is write this stuff down.

You're both writing.

And guess what?

I'm going to keep these on clipboards.

Because I love having this.

I love consulting a clipboard.

Hold on a second.

That's one bee jazzled, two Irish cutlets, a county.

You compared your nipples to spam.

I want to write that one down.

Well, if you saw them, you'd notice what I'm talking about.

Let's just say the freckle is not the most erotic symbol.

You have had, I'm telling you, you're a very spiritual person.

What's this segue going to be?

Let's go

do it get it get it there's no kind of talking like a cashier pot it doesn't cash a pot and I don't stop okay um

listen I want control of this it's my job as the admiral of this podcast to get it under control and Kesha has ruined everything

you are always fun always fun this hundred percent that's why you know what happened was we I was doing something at south by southwest

and someone came came up to me and said, Kesha's here and was just to speak to you.

And I hadn't run into you since I think I saw you on the street.

And I said, I would love to see Kesha.

And then five minutes later, you walked in and we had this nice reunion.

And I said, you've got to come on the podcast, please.

And here we are.

And here we are.

And it's a mess.

It's a mess.

That is what I say.

No, it is.

It is exactly what it should be.

You are a magical, you are a magical spirit from another land.

Let's take a spiritual journey together.

Tell me.

Let's go.

You're a very spiritual person.

You say you've had spiritual encounters.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I'm not a ghost person.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Well, I don't know about ghosts.

Okay.

I believe there are energies and spirits, but I don't know about a ghost.

Would you ever go ghost hunting?

Yeah, I go ghost hunting.

Okay, so I did a TV show on Disney Plus called Conjuring Keshawar.

I went ghost hunting, looking for aliens, looking for Bigfoot.

Some shit happened.

Didn't do a season two.

So on my tour this summer, on the day is off, I'm doing it myself.

See, this is how you relax.

It's not making a cape.

That is your chill.

That's your chill.

Your chill is looking for Bigfoot.

Fuck yeah.

What about Loch Ness Monster?

Fuck yeah.

Chupacabra.

But I don't know what that is, but fuck yeah.

It's an Israeli appetizer.

But like, yes, that is how I relax.

Ghosts, though, specifically, ones who have passed on, you think are still visiting us.

100%.

Okay, so I'm filming a show.

I am the exec producer, filming the cameraman.

I forget what the camera is called, where it's like infrared, where you can see body heat.

Eduardo, what is that called?

I asked Eduardo.

Oh, sorry.

I defer to Matt.

Oh, God damn it, you're good.

I'll have you see my previous answer.

A thermal?

I think, isn't it a thermal camera, like Predator?

Just like that.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm filming him.

He's filming me day two, Haunted Insane Asylum.

They're with Big Frida, chip coffee.

We're bored.

It's like four in the morning.

And they're like, start like like basically talking shit to the demons.

I'm like, all right, where are you at?

Like, you're not even here.

Just like.

Right.

Condescend to the demons, insult the demons, which would bring a demon forth, I would think.

And it did.

And so then on camera, holding the camera, watch this thing like crawl up Jake and crawl into the ceiling.

And it happened so fast that I was like, Jake, there's the thing.

And then that's how fast, right?

Filming it.

Exact same time.

He like throws down a red camera, really expensive camera.

It's like, oh my God, there's something crawling on me.

Pulls his shirt up and there's three scratch marks down his spine.

And Chip Coffey comes over and throws holy water on it and then it heals.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

Who's Chip Coffee?

That's the cruelest name I've ever heard.

And why isn't he a private detective?

He might be.

The name's Coffee, Chip Coffee.

Well, okay, that's stunning.

Do you have all that on camera?

Yes.

And nobody cares.

That's the craziest part.

Who cares?

And I'm like, nobody cares about these ghosts I found.

You're welcome.

But I found so many.

You found so many ghosts.

Do you get creeped out in a graveyard?

Are you kind of happy there?

No, I'm so happy.

Yeah.

Because I'm like almost there.

Well, you know what?

Oh my gosh.

Pesha.

No, you're not.

No, you're not.

Trust me, I'm getting to the boneyard long before you.

I'll tell you, and I'll come back and I'll tell you how it is.

It's me.

It's me.

It's Conan.

No problem.

I'm in the afterlife and I'm still not naked.

All the other girls are letting things flop around.

Wait, how would you haunt?

How would I haunt?

Irritating.

I wouldn't scare people, but I'd be.

I mean, I'm going to pass on, and Gorley and Sona are youngsters.

They're going to be happily living their lives, and I'm going to just be like, ooh, hey, what's going on?

I'm going to be doing bits.

Doing bits.

I'm going to be doing bits and coming back and saying, wouldn't it be funny if, yeah, and you will get an exorcist, but nothing scary will happen.

There'll be no cone vomiting or head spinning.

I'll put my hair up in a bun and it'll just get knocked out.

Whenever her hair is in a bun, I knock it loose.

Oh, that's a good one.

Yeah.

That's a lot of like, yeah.

Yeah, it'll, I'll do that.

Or Gorally, I'll scratch your favorite.

He loves to listen to old Kay Kaiser tunes on his 45 player.

I've got spurs that jingle when they jingle.

Cut me.

I don't know.

He just puts on old records and he wears a seersucker suit.

Oh, my God.

So cute.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do do this.

I do do this.

And I'll be scratching.

All your records will be scratching.

Oh, I can go to one of my sea markets and I'm in a ukulele club.

Yeah.

Same.

Cute.

I'm assigning him a personality over time, and soon it will become his personality.

It's just little things.

Like he'll take things that you have like organized and he'll move them around just a little bit.

So it'll infuriate you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does that ever happen?

The thing is, the first person I'm going to go to is Kesha.

You better.

That's like, yeah, I'm going to go to you first.

You fucking better.

Hey, man, Jesus.

And I'd be like, I like when you wear my merchandise.

It looks so sexy.

And I can monetize it.

What a weird ghost.

You're going to, you know, I'll be the first.

I'll be a ghost that has a restraining order.

Kesha, uh-uh, 55 feet.

Oh, folks.

Well, I got to talk about this.

You're going out on tour.

It's the tits out tour, and I have got to join you on stage.

and I got to let these cutlets breathe.

Yes.

Let them out, baby.

Are you enjoying the life performing now?

I bet, I have a prediction that you're enjoying it now, maybe more than ever, because you've been through everything.

I am enjoying everything better now.

It's weird when you like sign away the rights to the one thing you do and have dedicated your life to in perpetuity in the universe, and then you get it back.

Fucking everything is different.

I feel like I'm living in hypercolor.

I feel like I'm also like healing in front of the world at the same time, which is like messy.

But I just had to make a conscious choice.

Like, what do I believe?

I believe in being authentic.

I believe it's my last lifetime.

Like I really do believe it.

And so like, fuck it.

Let's go.

And like now everything is so much more fun listening to, I couldn't even listen to music for a long time.

I have not listened to some songs that were like particularly unpleasant for me.

Yep.

And I like last week, you would hate this, but I was like dancing around my room naked.

No, no, no, no.

I like it when you do it.

Okay, just not you.

Okay, got it.

Again, I just am there just as a sketch artist.

But just like crying, being like, These are my children.

Like, I've turned my back on my children and like, I love them.

And I want to play them.

And the fans want to hear them.

And I can't wait to see my fans.

And I'm free.

There was just a period of time when like I felt so forgotten by the world.

world.

Like 10 years is a long time.

And I was also like signed to the people that were suing me.

And so like by year like nine, I was like, I feel so fucking like nobody cares.

And it was so isolating and so depressing.

And then I get a phone call.

Everything looks the same.

Ring, ring.

In three months' time, you will be free.

And I'm like, well, everything just flipped in that minute.

Like in that moment, I wrote 200 songs over the course of the next couple of months.

Like, just there was like color brought back into my life.

And now I can't wait to tour.

And I'm all the music that has negative connotation, everything is energy.

So, yes, I believe in ghosts.

We'll have to circle back on that.

But, anyways,

I'm taking a

show

in.

I didn't even die, but I'm a ghost hanging around your house

doing sketches.

Please, if you're

I'm alive and well.

I'm here to serve you with a ghost subpoena.

Oh, ghost subpoena.

Yeah.

So,

I mean,

I am genuinely very happy for you.

And it's funny, I have this, because I've been doing this for so long and I encounter people and then I see them at different phases in their life.

And

I have this relationship sometimes.

And I've said this to many people.

And

you fit the bill as well, where I'm rooting for you because you came and

helped me out and gave of your talent on my show, and you were always brought great energy.

And I thought, I'm just so happy to reconnect with you.

And this has been really funny and fun

and filthy at times.

I'm like a little psychotic.

Yeah, but also, no, and also I'm learning some words here that I didn't know.

Oh, we love that.

It's good you wrote them down.

It's good you wrote them down.

What happens when this piece of paper is found later on?

That's when the restraining motor ends.

This laundry got sent back, and the woman who works there wants to talk to you.

This was rolled up in your.

Hi, I had a Mr.

O'Brien's grocery list.

I'm wondering if you could help me find some of these.

I understand Irish cutlets, but where are the chicha?

I need two counties.

I need two counties and a chicha, please, to go.

Well, I'm really happy for you.

The tits out tour.

I'm going to be there, man.

I'm going to be there dancing on stage.

Yeah, you will.

Oh, no, that will hurt you.

That will hurt.

No, you must.

No, no, no.

Your fans will get so mad when I dance out on tour and the tits out tour.

So happy.

Sona, talk some sense into Kesha.

They won't be happy.

Your first independent album, period.

This is under your own label.

Kesha Records, July 4th, 2025.

This is your sixth studio album.

I'm really happy for you.

And thank you so much for bringing me that gorgeous guitar.

I'm going to be playing that today and tonight.

And thank you.

Conan merch has never looked cooler.

Oh, we'll have to take some hot picks and drop it on the Graham.

Yes, yes.

I wish I knew what the Graham was.

Picture it being dropped

on Graham Cracker.

Kesha wants a photo on a Graham Cracker.

Idiot.

I know what the Graham is, he said, lying.

Kesha, thank you so much for being here and for bringing your cool spirit.

Thanks for always being the fucking best.

Jeez.

Deadass.

Gorley.

Rick Rubin and Conan O'Brien.

Like, you are one of the best men.

Oh my God.

That is the first and only time anyone will clump you together with Rick Rubin, I think.

My two favorite men.

I'm going to try and get into a fender bender with him.

Just so that we're named in court together.

I'm going to wait for Rick Rubin to drive by and then just slam into the back of his car.

O'Brien struck Rick Rubin.

See, Sona, twice.

He was driving his Nissan Centra when he was hit from behind by Conan O'Brien.

All right, bless you, Kesha.

Go forward and do great works.

Let's party.

I've always believed that your home should be an expression of who you are.

That was my mom.

I have that like tattooed on my low back.

Oh, wow.

I could have had so many things tattooed down there, and that's what I chose.

Down there.

Yeah.

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You're going through it now, Sona.

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Okay, we need to discuss something that just happened moments ago.

And this has never happened before

on the podcast in five years.

We took a break.

We had just finished interviewing Kesha.

Wonderful time.

Really fun.

Wonderful.

She's so funny and fun.

And it was revealing and cool and all kinds of stuff.

Then we take a break.

I remain here and start doodling on my sketchpad.

I remain here too.

But

because I am.

So then why don't you tell us what happened, man?

Just tell us.

It's okay.

No, it's really embarrassing.

It's not okay at all.

I had to pee and I went to the bathroom and I opened the door.

It wasn't locked.

And Kesha was peeing in the bathroom.

So you walked in on Kesha while she was urinating.

And she screamed.

She screamed.

But she did the cutest little

like this, like an Ewok or something.

And she was very nice about it.

And I truly didn't mean to.

You said you truly didn't mean to.

But I would like to point out.

that just as you got up from the table, you looked at me and you said, time to watch Kesha Ping

and stormed out of the room.

And I said, no!

No, you did not say that.

And this is for court records.

You did not say such a thing.

Can I say something?

The door was closed.

And you didn't think about like knocking?

Here's the thing.

The door.

was not locked and there are two doors in that restroom.

There's the door and immediately to the left, there's another door.

So I just, anytime I've ever used that restroom, it's always locked if it's being occupied.

So I just, I wasn't used to it.

Are you suggesting that I did that on purpose?

I didn't even know she was in there.

I don't know.

It's not proper bathroom etiquette.

If the door is closed, you knock.

I'm totally with Sona on this.

I'm a knocker.

I always knock.

I find.

I just certainly will from here on out.

I can tell you that much.

Oh, my God.

But I mean, unless it's Kesha.

Yeah.

It was, we heard shrieking.

Yeah.

You came running back in, face beat red.

We have a whole bunch of people out there who are watching the podcast.

They find out what happened.

They're screaming.

I mean, it really did sound like a house of murder.

It did.

Well, and also, I have to admit, because I think it's a very awkward situation for everybody.

You came in here, you're like, I just walked in on cash.

And then we could have just, you could have ignored it, but you went out there and you apologized.

Well, I thought it was a nice thing.

Which was nice.

No, I think it's nice, but it also, I don't know, does that make somebody more uncomfortable or more embarrassed?

Can I also explain one other thing?

I was right on the heels of Eduardo saying, let me just go pee really quickly.

I didn't know which one he was in.

I thought because this one was unlocked, he was not.

Maybe he was trying to come.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah,

in his defense, he was trying to watch Eduardo urinate.

That's right.

And accidentally walked in on Insexikesha.

So I...

Wait a minute.

And just to let people know here, there are two bathrooms.

There's one right next to our studio, and then there's one that is kind of further on down the hall.

And so you didn't use the one right next to the studio.

It was used.

How did you know it was used?

Because the door was shut.

I thought why didn't you watch

on that one?

Because I thought Eduardo went into that one, and I thought no one else is in this other one because I knew he went into that one.

I don't know.

There's a lot of assumptions here.

There's a lot of assumptions here.

There's also

the second bathroom is labeled Popstar.

And the first bathroom is labeled peons that work here

at the show.

That's an unfortunate pun.

Yeah, it is.

And no pun intended.

And then my bathroom is

called Comedic Icon, and that's on the top floor.

I just want to refresh us to the interview prior to this where you spent a good five minutes talking about how you wanted to dress like a urinal and have women pee on you.

No, no, no.

No, that's okay.

I did not perving on Kesha while she was at the echelon.

That's right.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

First of all, this whole thing about me dressing as a urinal wouldn't work on women.

That's a flawed concept.

So I know you're lying.

Oh, is that anyway?

I know you're lying.

Oh, I'll dress as a urinal and then trap women.

Slight flaw with your plan there, Gorley, that you're trying to assign to me.

Clearly, you've thought this out, and I've found your sketches, and I've seen what you've done.

Anyway, I want to assure all of our guests.

that from now on Matt Gorley is going to knock.

Yes, agree.

And a good idea maybe to lock the bathroom door when Gorley's on the property.

When the mad peeper's here,

let's lock things up.

You know?

Can I ask a question?

So

we are on the second floor.

Conan, your office and your own personal bathroom is on the third floor.

It's not my personal bathroom because I share it with Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and anyone else who wants to go up there anyway.

Well, that's my question: is should we, so this doesn't happen again, should we assign Gorley a bathroom?

This is the only bathroom you're on.

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm not

going to say

we should learn from our mistakes.

First of all, I think Gorley should wear an ankle bracelet for a year.

And he has to go to every pop star in L.A.

And tell them.

And knock on their door and tell them, if you're urinating in a bathroom near me, I may try and peek in on you.

So that's rule number one.

Rule number two is we should get one of those outdoor bathrooms and we should put it in our little yard and that should be just for Gorley.

Oh, like a port-a-potty?

Little port-a-potty.

Like an outhouse.

little outhouse port-a-potty oh you like old-timey things we'll get you an oil wait no i have a solution i quit

okay hey a little gor win-win-win a little gorlea potty a gorlea potty we did it um listen uh you can write up rap all you want on a piece of paper

but now you just wrote rap now

oh my gosh listen it was an accident accidents happen and uh i will say if if if you're gonna walk in on someone i feel like kisha's a good person to walk in on because she's cool about it.

She's very

cool.

Yeah, I walked in four times on Al Pacino.

And he was like, Go to hard out of here.

What are you doing?

It's the fourth time.

Hey, he said, I understand one time.

It was the fourth time.

And I said, hey, it's taken you a long time to pee, Mr.

Pacino.

What are you on?

I'm 94.

I've also played Jim O'Taxi.

All right.

Peace out.

Love you, Kesha.

Bye.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hold on before we go.

Actually, this just in.

If you'd like to get the same retro Conan O'Brien t-shirt Kesha is wearing in this interview, just go to podswag.com slash Conan.

Got it.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Session, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Liao.

Theme song by The White Stripes.

Incidental music music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

Got a question for Conan?

Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

It too could be featured on a future episode.

You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com slash Conan.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

This is Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast, the promo.

And in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why you should check out the show.

I, the host Scott Auckerman, have a light-hearted conversation with famous celebrities like John Hamm, Allison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Leone, Bob Odin, Kirk, just to name a few.

Things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well.

Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians as well as some new hilarious voices.

Comedy Bang Bang the Podcast.

Listen every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.

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