Jüs’d

Speaker 1 Paramount Plus has so many movies. Paramount Plus has the movies you've watched so many times you can quote them.
Iconic movies your friends can't believe you haven't seen. Dude, you didn't see that?

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. And the latest movies you'll need to talk about with your friends or co-hosts.
I just saw that movie. I got to discuss it with others.

Speaker 1 With Paramount Plus, you can watch the latest blockbusters, rewatch your favorite movements, or see how the reboot measures up to the original.

Speaker 1 whether you're into top gun or the naked gun mean girls or mission impossible smurfs or sonic the hedgehog paramount plus has it all and i say all there's a mountain of movies i discover on paramount plus start streaming today

Speaker 1 having the right people in your corner to support you in life makes all the difference trust me i've been there the person could be the friend who goes with you to test drive a new car, but it could also be the state farm agent who helps you choose coverage for that car.

Speaker 1 Let State Farm handle the coverage parts of life so you can focus on the fun parts of life, like taking your new car out on the open road. You don't have to worry about the coverage parts.

Speaker 1 You betcha. Go online at statefarm.com or use the award-winning app.
That app won an award. No surprise to get help from one of their local agents, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Speaker 2 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan.
Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 1 Hi, John. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
How are you, John? Good to see you. I'm amazing.
How are you guys? Well, we'll decide if you're amazing or not, John. That's our decision.

Speaker 1 We are the judge, jury, and executioner.

Speaker 1 John, that made no sense, and I apologize. Where are you coming to us from right now, John?

Speaker 1 Located in Reno, Nevada, just north of you guys. I was going to go by your house plant behind you and your guitar that was Reno.

Speaker 1 I'm coming in hot, and I apologize, John.

Speaker 1 But I just had some very sugary cereal. The company that makes Fruity Pebbles sent us in a couple of boxes of Fruity Pebbles, and I had three bowls of fruity pebbles with whole milk.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's my favorite cereal. It's out there, there's tons of them.
And it's like I mainlined

Speaker 1 something that's much purer than crack cocaine.

Speaker 1 Big bowls or small bowls? How much volume are we talking? Yeah. How dare you ask me a question,

Speaker 1 John?

Speaker 1 I came in way too hot, John. And that's a fair question.
I would say a medium-sized bowl, a healthy-sized bowl. And that's why I'm revving a little bit.

Speaker 1 And I blame the people who make the delicious and fantastic fruity pebbles. John, let's get to the point.
You come from Reno. What is it you do? Who are you? Tell us about this man named John.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely. Born and raised in Reno, Nevada, for better or worse.

Speaker 1 And yeah,

Speaker 1 started a couple juice bars with my older brother in Reno. You and your older brother own some juice bars in Reno, Nevada.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we

Speaker 1 started them after I dropped out of college. We started them when I was 19 years old.
Okay. And I'm 32 years young now.
And

Speaker 1 how are they doing?

Speaker 1 Is this a viable, are you making your living off these juice bars? I am making my living off of these juice bars. Congratulations.
That's very cool. You're an entrepreneur.
This is this is very cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, it's exciting. It's a lot of smoothies for a living, but I'm

Speaker 1 constantly making and serving smoothies, you know, year after year. But, you know,

Speaker 1 there's worse problems to have on this.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know that there are, but

Speaker 1 John, tell us about these smoothies, these juices that you make.

Speaker 1 Pretend I'm a potential investor or let's simplify it. A customer.
What makes these juices or smoothies so great? Sell me on these.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah.
So Raw and fresh is the, is what sets us apart, I would say. You know, we join sort of the juice barf craze.
Everybody's getting green juice. Do you guys drink any green juice? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like a green juice every now and then.

Speaker 1 And I do have a habit of making,

Speaker 1 I've been doing it for a while. I'd make a smoothie for myself in the morning using like three fistfuls of baby spinach.
And then I'd put some protein powder in there and some fruit.

Speaker 1 And fruity pebbles? No, no.

Speaker 1 The fruity pebbles was an aberration. I don't do that a lot, but they sent the fruity pebbles and it is my,

Speaker 1 it's, I can't help it. It's

Speaker 1 you're teaching every

Speaker 1 product that they could just send it to you and you're going to use it no matter what it is. Well, so far.
Okay. Yes.
Yeah. Yes.
Every time.

Speaker 1 I mean, we get sent a lot of fresh medicines and antibiotics from the pharmaceutical companies and I just immediately inject them into my body without even knowing what they are.

Speaker 1 So send us whatever you got. Send us some juice.
No, but

Speaker 1 the juice is, I so I'm familiar with it's a good way to get some good stuff into you. Uh, and I, and it is

Speaker 1 what's wrong with that.

Speaker 1 You're sugar crashing. I know, it's just the wording.
Get some good stuff into your life. Oh, it is.
I mean, when am I going to eat a couple of handfuls of spinach? That's not going to happen. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm not

Speaker 1 Popeye. That's not going to happen.
I'm not with olive oil, uh, sailing the seven seas. That's not going to happen in my life.

Speaker 1 But if I put it into a kind of a tasty vanilla-tinged juice or smoothie, that's going into my body. So, what kind of juices do you have? What do you recommend?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we're all over the spectrum. You know, like real health juicing is just like no fruit is not that much sugar.

Speaker 1 You can have a little bit, but like mainly you're talking like spinach, kale, cucumbers, celery. Now, what makes that boring stuff? What makes that palatable?

Speaker 1 How do you take all that stuff and make it drinkable?

Speaker 1 You know, you know, we sell things like shots and stuff, and I tell people it's just like taking any other shot. You just get it down.

Speaker 1 You know, like cucumber, kale, spinach juice is always going to taste.

Speaker 1 It's really funny that you're serving a product for people to eat and you're saying, just get it down quickly and ignore the taste. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Can you imagine a restaurant where they're like, just get it in you fast?

Speaker 1 Just get in fast. And then just, just hold it down.
You're going to want to vomit, but hold it down.

Speaker 1 Once in a blue moon, we get like bad Yelp reviews there where they go, like, this product tastes like shit. I don't understand what the hype is about.

Speaker 1 And we always respond, like, it's supposed to taste like that. It's really good for us.
It's got shit in it. So, yeah, we

Speaker 1 put feces in it because it's good roughage.

Speaker 1 There are some things that I'm suspicious of that shouldn't be. Like, I don't like,

Speaker 1 well, I know beets are good for me.

Speaker 1 don't like it. I have a beef with beets, yeah, I do too because they look like candy.
Yes, they look like watermelon, they they're false advertising, right? Right, it looks like absolute ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes, yes, yes, and yet it's the staple crop in Russia, right? Um, and uh, and and people swear by beets. I, uh,

Speaker 1 I'm with you on this.

Speaker 1 Beets look red and wonderful and inviting, and it looks like you're going to bite into the sweetest cherry in the world, and you bite into it, and suddenly your mouth is World War III.

Speaker 1 I disagree. I like Borsch a lot.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 I mean, you grew up in a different country in a different time.

Speaker 1 A different political ideology.

Speaker 1 What does that have to do with liking Borsch?

Speaker 1 You grew up under the cold iron boot of an authoritarian regime. That's not true.

Speaker 1 That is not true. So back to you, John, and I apologize for my compatriots bursting in like that.

Speaker 1 I've made it very clear to them they shouldn't speak, and yet they do, and yet I continue to invite invite them in and encourage them to speak and pay them to speak.

Speaker 1 John, I'm still on a fruity pebbles high right now.

Speaker 1 I'm jealous. Hey, you know what you should do? Make a really healthy shake, but then throw a handful of fruity pebbles in there and you've got a delicious shake.
That's what he was saying.

Speaker 1 He said that earlier. Did you say that earlier? I like that person.
Okay, well, we're paying attention, John. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. It'll be new on our list.
Oh, no, of course. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I have a question. Celery.

Speaker 1 Is celery anything?

Speaker 1 That's a good question. No, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Is it anything? What is celery? Is definitely something. It's just water that somehow managed to form into a stick, isn't it? Yeah, isn't it water?

Speaker 1 It's water that took a class and got hypnotized and thinks it's a stick. But it's not beets.
It's not telling you anything different. No, no, it's not telling you anything.

Speaker 1 But what is, does, does there any nutritional value in celery? Let's say I'm in a shipwreck. I go overboard.
I get into a little raft and all it has is celery. Do I survive after 30 days or am I dead?

Speaker 1 I would say emphatically, no, you do not survive after 30 days.

Speaker 1 You have a single road with just celery. Well, it's got a lot of water and water and sodium and potassium.
And yeah, I mean, it's got nothing

Speaker 1 to do with it. It's just dipping peanut butter.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. It's like a cracker you don't mind, a tasteless cracker, but then you put some peanut butter on it.
It's fine. But in and of itself, why would you add celery to any?

Speaker 1 And look, I know that there are some listeners right now saying, why is Conan going down this celery road? Yeah, I think he's lost his noodle. He's gone, you know, he's been pebbled.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's been pebbled. But no, I think I'm onto something.
Isn't celery a waste of time? Why put it in anything?

Speaker 1 Well, you're right. It is mostly water.

Speaker 1 And then while you were saying that, I was thinking that, you know, it does form into celery, and then we technically are turning it back into a water product to put it back into celery.

Speaker 1 But does it have roughage? Because roughage has its value. But

Speaker 1 celery has tons of value. You want all that potassium.
You want all that sodium. It is a great source of water.
I have a bagel. There's salty.

Speaker 1 I like the crisp crunch where the beets just let you down. Fiber too.
Yeah, fiber. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, fiverr, roughage. I said roughage.
I'll take celery over beets any day.

Speaker 1 Beets over celery. I said it wrong.
I said it incorrectly, but I will pick beets

Speaker 1 over celery. Yeah, I'm with you on celery.

Speaker 1 Can I add, you guys are crazy for hating beets. I'm Team Sona here because beets are great.
All right, John. You can pickle them.
You can boil them. Yeah.
You can juice them. You know what?

Speaker 1 It's funny. Possibilities are endless.
I hate a beet, but when you say pickle it, suddenly I'm down. Let it rot for a little bit.
And then I'm all in the basement. And then I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 No, if you don't like a food, pickling it doesn't make you like it more, John. I'm sorry.
I've never been angrier at anyone in my life.

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 1 I've got my feelings about celery.

Speaker 1 But I agree with you. You're in business with your brother.
Now,

Speaker 1 I love my brothers, but if I went into business with them, it'd be gunplay pretty quickly. There'd be shots fired.

Speaker 1 I can't. Do you get along with your brother? And what's your brother's name? My brother's name is Adam.
Yeah, we started the business together.

Speaker 1 And my number one piece of advice is you got it perfectly right. Don't go into business with your family.
It's never a good idea.

Speaker 1 Is he additive? Does he add much to it? Or is he sort of this celery in your shake? Is he just this? He's there.

Speaker 1 He adds a little bit of sodium and a lot of water and like you could do without him, but whatever, he's here. Be honest.
Is your brother celery? Is Adam Celery?

Speaker 1 I would like to think I'm the beats in this family, versatile, delicious. And then, yeah, I would like to think he's the celery.
Okay. He's a little bit boring, a little plain, you know.

Speaker 1 No, he's great. Yeah.
And boy, do we fight. You know, we've developed some skills over the years of not like screaming at each other.
in front of customers and staff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when people go to a juice bar, they don't want to see two guys screaming at each other. It's supposed to be, you're like a yoga studio.
You're supposed to represent this calm, self-nurturing.

Speaker 1 Exactly. What do you fight over in the juice world?

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh. You wouldn't believe it.
Recipes, how much chocolate we should add to something?

Speaker 1 Yeah, who's more and who's less chocolate? You or Adam?

Speaker 1 I would say I'm probably more chocolate and he's probably less. And can I say something? I'm going to jump in here, and I know that's unusual for me to talk a lot on these things, but

Speaker 1 I'd say if you're using beets, go very heavy on the chocolate. Anything you can to kill the beet and force the beet.
Agreed. That beet chocolate combo.
You would be surprised. It's no, no.
Yeah. It's

Speaker 1 incredible.

Speaker 1 So banana. How do you feel about a banana? Is that too much sugar? Love bananas.
Not too much sugar at all. It's an evolutionary sugar.
It's the kind of sugar you want. So yeah, all types of bananas.

Speaker 1 Hey, if it comes from a tree or a plant, it's got to be good for us. That's right.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. Some poisons come from trees and plants.
That was a stupid thing I just said. No, I think food-wise.

Speaker 1 No, I should have qualified. Unless they're poisoning.
With the exception of certain poison berries.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to be safe and make sure that no kids out there get hurt. I love bananas.
A lot of kids listen to this podcast and then do immediately what I said. That's true.

Speaker 1 A lot of young children.

Speaker 1 Beethoven's favorite fruit. Bananas.
Ba-na-na-na.

Speaker 1 Ba-na-na-na. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 John, not only do I apologize, but I give you permission to sue us.

Speaker 1 Oh, great. And I will not contest the...
I will not use it. Contest Dr.
Dre's favorite food? What's that?

Speaker 1 Beats.

Speaker 1 Beats by Dr. Dre.

Speaker 1 John. You can't do the banana joke and then get on me for that.
Beats were not good. Huh? It was not good.
John, is there any way that I can cut, I can just talk to John myself and these two.

Speaker 1 I would love that. You know what I wish? I wish that this was, there was a section, there was a button where I could push and you two were ejected into space.

Speaker 1 This whole side of the room was ejected. I was thinking about it.
I think you need Eduardo and you need Adam. Oh, really? I need Eduardo.
Oh,

Speaker 1 what were you in 93, Eduardo? I don't remember you.

Speaker 1 Spinning the dials back there when I was killing it in late night.

Speaker 1 Conor Bryan Needs a Friend is brought to you by Airbnb. I've taken a few trips in the past where I got a place through Airbnb.
I've mentioned this before, lovely experience. I think I do it again.

Speaker 1 I love it. It makes me feel so comfortable when I'm in a home that I get on Airbnb.
Well, you've done this a lot, haven't you, Blai? I have.

Speaker 1 And actually, Eduardo and I tomorrow are going to Austin, and I'm trying to get him to stay with me in a house that I got on Airbnb. I don't know about sharing a spot with you.
Well, he's very loud.

Speaker 1 He's very loud, and he always has to bring his figurines with him.

Speaker 1 They're emotional support figurines. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, but the great thing about getting a place through Airbnb, and I've done this in several cities, I like just feeling like, okay, this is my own space. I can do my thing.
You're traveling.

Speaker 1 Why not enjoy it? Yeah. Well, thank you.
Yeah, that's nice of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Eduardo, don't go with him.

Speaker 1 The other thing, and this would be a cool little detail for both of you, is if you're not using your place, you could list that on Airbnb. It's true.
It's a terrific way to make some money.

Speaker 1 It's a terrific way to travel. So your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how much at airbnb.com/slash host.

Speaker 1 On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee, the one you wore everywhere, until you lost it,

Speaker 1 or your brother Neil burned it.

Speaker 1 Now you're on eBay, and there it is. The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you, especially on eBay.
From rare collectibles and vintage cars to designer fashion, it's all there.

Speaker 1 You can find it if it's out there, and it can be back in your loving arms. Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story.
eBay, things, people, love.

Speaker 1 Paramount Plus has so many movies. Paramount Plus has the movies you've watched so many times you can quote them.
Iconic movies your friends can't believe you haven't seen. Dude, you didn't see that?

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. And the latest movies you'll need to talk about with your friends or co-hosts.
I just saw that movie. I got to discuss it with others.

Speaker 1 With Paramount Plus, Plus, you can watch the latest blockbusters, re-watch your favorite movements, or see how the reboot measures up to the original.

Speaker 1 Whether you're into Top Gun or the Naked Gun, Mean Girls or Mission, Impossible, Smurfs or Sonic the Hedgehog, Paramount Plus has it all, and I say all.

Speaker 1 There's a mountain of movies to discover on Paramount Plus. Start streaming today.

Speaker 1 I was up half the night last night watching a World Series game. Yeah.
It was very exciting. I have to tell you,

Speaker 1 I don't care what your sport is, tailgates or watching parties or, you know, whatever. If you're watching High Lie,

Speaker 1 it doesn't matter. It is Miller time.
Miller Light is brewed with simple ingredients like malted barley for rich flavor and golden color.

Speaker 1 It's a taste you can depend on because Miller time is always a good time. I'm out there throwing the pig skin around.
I used to just throw pig skin. Really? Chunks of pig skin.
Wow.

Speaker 1 I never had a football. Where would you find the pig? Oh, I went to a farmer.
Oh, good. Yeah, and the pig had fallen and it was shredded.

Speaker 1 Anyway, back to Miller Time. I was just hawking pigskin around.
I like to raise a Merrill Light in the air and celebrate a great pass,

Speaker 1 throwing chunks of pigskin around.

Speaker 1 One of those nail biters. Last night's game, incredible nail biter with the Dodgers.
Incredible. So anyway, Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Speaker 1 Go to Merrill Light.com slash Conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Merrill Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Speaker 1 And if they don't sell Merrill Light, turn to them and say, sir, you do not sell beer. It's Miller time.

Speaker 1 Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 you are right. Hold on, I'm not crashing.
This is, no, this is me being thoughtful. Sometimes I take pauses to create the illusion that I'm thoughtful.
I see.

Speaker 1 John, there is a juice movement in this country, and it sounds like you have ridden this wave perfectly. People love their juices.
Now, what kind of equipment do you use?

Speaker 1 What kind of blender do you use? And some might say, do you use a juicer? What's that big juicer everybody uses? Squeezener? Brevel. Oh.
Breville has that one juicer.

Speaker 1 Are you getting money from Brevel? What are you getting money? No, but I'd like them to send me a juicer.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. We're not going to be.
Oh, me too, if we're doing

Speaker 1 it. Brevre Brevel.

Speaker 1 The Neutra Bullet. Oh, Neutral Bullet.
I use a Neutra Bullet. And

Speaker 1 take that too. And again, I am not, we do not, no, I refuse any compensation.
That's, that's bad. We should not do that.

Speaker 1 And if any of that stuff comes to us, I'm going to have it destroyed except for fruity pebbles,

Speaker 1 which I will eat immediately.

Speaker 1 What's your blender of choice? Absolutely. Yeah.
So blenders, we're just using classic Vitamixes. To make our juice, we're using two different machines.

Speaker 1 We're using a huge cold press machine, which is essentially just like a hydraulic pincher. It just squeezes fruits and vegetables together.

Speaker 1 For like softer fruits and vegetables, we use a machine called the auger masticating juicer.

Speaker 1 An auger.

Speaker 1 Say it again, auger masticating. Yeah.
So in our case, we're using a dual auger masticating juicer. Oh my God, that's like a torture device.
You've got to talk,

Speaker 1 and then they unveil it. This is the dual auger masticating process.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you. I'll tell you whatever you want to know.

Speaker 1 sorry that was a little flight of fancy of mine

Speaker 1 continue please um but yeah so for our for our volume we are using we are using huge cold press machines um yeah and that it's really just pinching it's it's really just a pinch machine you wouldn't want to get like hands caught in there no i couldn't i wouldn't want to get it can i just say one thing

Speaker 1 it would result in my death but it might be kind of erotic to fall into a pinching machine what well even your body's being pinched and you're like ooh and then you realize oh it's over for me i'm i'm being turned into a gym but then there's like a glass below that there's just all this Conan juice that comes out of it.

Speaker 1 And I'm telling you something, you do a lot worse than Conan juice right now. I don't know.
That's true.

Speaker 1 I feel like some people would be willing to give it a try.

Speaker 1 Has anyone ever fallen into a juicer and been killed? And if they had, would you sell that juice? That's a good question. I would, we know.
No, it's not. It's not a good question, John.

Speaker 1 It's a stupid question.

Speaker 1 You're insane if you think that's a good question. Has anyone fallen into the juicer and then been turned into a juice? And then have you sold that juice? That That was my question.

Speaker 1 You would need to fall very thin because you have

Speaker 1 a very small amount of area to get in, but I'm willing to give it a shot, I'd say. Yeah, I'm going to say, John, let me ask you a question.
Let's say I did, I

Speaker 1 had an accident and I fell. I was visiting you in Reno because I was there to gamble and lost big, got depressed and jumped into your juicer to end it all.

Speaker 1 The juice that resulted would be pure Conan juice. Wouldn't you be tempted to sell that for a lot of money?

Speaker 1 just think about it: the essence of Conan O'Brien in a juice. I think that would be worth blood and guts.
No, but of that'd be the essence of my whatever it is that makes me me, the genius.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no. That sounds gross.
That sounds like you would close up your shop completely forever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what I was going to ask is: if we, let's say we bottle and sell it in 16-ounce increments, like how much would we charge for Conan?

Speaker 1 Yeah, how many, how many 16-ounce lots can you get out of a big man? Yeah,

Speaker 1 6'4, 191-pound male.

Speaker 1 Boy, you get a lot of people coming back.

Speaker 1 There's a red hair in my juice.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 I bet we get 50 to 60 bottles. That's what it is.
We probably sell them for,

Speaker 1 what, $8 to $10 each or something like that. $8 to $10?

Speaker 1 I am a seminal figure. No, it's like tequila, but instead of a worm, there's a red hair, and you got to drink the red hair.
It's carrot juice with red hair. It's a red hair and a little ivy.

Speaker 1 $10.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 John, this has been a terrible conversation. I mean, from beginning to end, just insanity.

Speaker 1 But I've enjoyed it. I really have.
And I'm wondering if you have a question for me. How can I help you? I do, Conan.
So we share something, which is that we both have webbed feet. Well, excuse me.

Speaker 1 I will not be, let's be specific. On one foot, I have two toes that are joined by some webbing.
So they're webbing. Me too.
I feel like that's called webbed feet. Yeah, that's what I have.

Speaker 1 No, what I'm saying is it's not like I have these two duck feet. There's two toes joined by one web.

Speaker 1 Does that mean I'm just in the webbed foot category? I have a family member with a similar thing.

Speaker 1 That's what we in the industry call it. That's a webbed foot.
You're in the web foot industry? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what our club calls it anyway. Okay, so yes i am part of that club be proud of it yeah it's a cool swim better yeah

Speaker 1 except there's just one foot so i swim in circles

Speaker 1 one foot's much more powerful than the other bathtub yeah it looks like i'm circling the drain whenever i go swimming okay i'm sorry go ahead john so you have webbed uh feet as do i I do, and I don't know if this would be of interest to you guys.

Speaker 1 And I also don't know if I'm flexible enough to show you, but I actually got the sort of famous webbed foot tattoo a couple of years ago. What's the famous? I don't know what that is.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 Can I show you? Is that okay?

Speaker 1 I did not take care of my feet before this, so forgive whatever that is. Please, that's okay.
That's all right. We can clean this up in editing.
Oh,

Speaker 1 look at this.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're real webbed. That is so cool.
For the listener, he's got a little icon of scissors with a dotted line like cut here. That's so cool.
You should do that too.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 have you ever been tempted to get the webbing cut? I would think it'd be a very simple procedure, and then your toes are separated.

Speaker 1 So, I heard this. I'm not a doctor.
I make smoothies for a living. Are you sure you're not a doctor or not?

Speaker 1 But I heard that you can't anymore. Once you reach the age of like post-being a baby, whatever the scientific term for that is,

Speaker 1 they can't cut them anymore because your nerves are like too ingrained in there, and then you'll bleed to death. What? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know who you're talking to, but I'm sure there's some

Speaker 1 way to stop the bleeding by sewing it up. But

Speaker 1 why mess with what God has done is what I say.

Speaker 1 And I say that knowing that a year from now, I'm going to have radical facial surgery so that I can stay in show business.

Speaker 1 But I had a webbed foot question for you, Code, which is that I don't know if

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 promulgate. I don't know if you tell people a lot about your webbed feet, but people are.
Well, clearly you knew about it. So I guess I have mentioned it.
I didn't even know that. That's true.

Speaker 1 You are familiar with it. I think it came up in a

Speaker 1 i think it came up somewhere yeah yeah you mentioned it in a podcast and i was like oh my god conan and i have something in common but um my question for you is uh like

Speaker 1 people always say are you a fast swimmer and i go oh yeah michael phelps blah blah blah but like that answer is always a little boring so i was hoping you could kind of help me come up with some better answers to uh what to respond with people ask like are you a fast swimmer what's it you know even what's it like what are some good excuses i could make i mean uh the only thing that that comes to my mind is fuck you.

Speaker 1 I was born this way and it's not funny, you know, and then really act offended and hurt and walk out of the room and act like you've been and then come back in the room and then walk out again.

Speaker 1 That's one way to go. The other way to go is with my quick, is it on both feet or just one?

Speaker 1 I technically have them on both. Okay, see, that, because, because my joke is I just swim in circles because it's just one foot.
Right. It's a pretty funny joke, but we already did that.

Speaker 1 Oh, that is great.

Speaker 1 I would just go with it. I think it's a yes and.
So are you a fast swimmer? Yes. I'm incredibly fast.
And it's like there's an Evan Rude outboard motor on my ass. I can swim at great speeds.

Speaker 1 I would go that route, possibly. There's all kinds of stuff you could do.
You're an Aquaman. You're like Aquaman.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I could go the Aquaman route.

Speaker 1 Maybe I could get like a bronze Olympic medal and say I like place not first, but like put something or something. Yeah, get a bronze.

Speaker 1 And actually, you can say there's one after bronze, which is a dense wood.

Speaker 1 Or a balsa. Then there's one after that.
There's a mahogany. And then after that, there's a balsa.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I would just go with it. I would always go with the riff, I say.
So yes, say I'm an incredible swimmer.

Speaker 1 And then always allude to this sexual prowess. And people don't have to know what it means, but kind of, you know, and you know what they say about guys with webbed feet? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And do the old grouch show at the eyebrows. That they have a webbed dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, webbed balls.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. What's going on here? I was trying to keep it in the mysterious land.
And John, you went totally into the gutter with the help of Matt Borley.

Speaker 1 John, I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you,

Speaker 1 as a young man, you left college, you started out a business, made the mistake of joining up with your brother. I would never do that.

Speaker 1 But I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you and what you've done.
And someday maybe I'll get to Reno and try your juice. What's the name of your store? It's called Juice, J-U-S.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you won't won't have a hard time finding us a juice

Speaker 1 yeah something like that yeah you can call it whatever you want though so but j-us is how do they how do you do the juice with an umlaut oh yeah yeah sorry it's jus with the german umlaut so it's juice oh juice okay just all right yeah because i would just think that's just yeah um

Speaker 1 and uh all right well i'll check it out someday but hey no beets and no celery okay Well, that's too bad. That's mostly what we serve.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a terrible commercial for your business.

Speaker 1 Lots of chocolate. Yeah.
I just basically want a milkshake.

Speaker 1 Chocolate-covered beetsful.

Speaker 1 Hey, John, best of luck to you, and thanks so much for calling in. Yeah, what an absolute pleasure.
Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Take care, man. Did I do okay?

Speaker 1 You did great. This was very good.
No, this is fantastic. This was great.
Oh, great. We've never had people.
No one seems to care how they did except you. That's great.
And you did great.

Speaker 1 I like that you cared. That's what I'm saying.
Or would you be honest with me if I did terribly? No.

Speaker 1 We'd act just like we're acting now. But guess what? It was a really fun conversation, and you seem like a nice guy.
And I wish you'd take my advice about getting rid of beets and

Speaker 1 celery and that fucking juice. I'll send a group chat to my brother about it.
No, I hate that guy.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Take care.
Great job. Bye, John.
Yeah, thank you guys so much. Really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Obsession, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.

Speaker 1 Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 1 Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples.
Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

Speaker 1 You'll get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

Speaker 1 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 1 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 1 Every new Toyota hybrid comes with Toyota Care, two-year complementary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 1 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota. Let's go places.
See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

Speaker 2 Black Friday is here and Pandora Jewelry is offering up to 40% off store-wide and site-wide now through December 2nd. Explore jewelry designed to last beyond this season.

Speaker 2 From classic charms to modern rings, bracelets, earrings, and more.

Speaker 1 Whether you're holiday shopping or treating yourself, now's the perfect time to find something special.

Speaker 2 Save up to 40% on the jewelry you love. Shop at Pandora.net or your your local Pandora store.
Exclusions apply.