Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 5 Episode 5

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Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chillchumps, a six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Fsession, and Matt Corley.

Let's get started.

Hey, Colonel O'Brien here, welcoming you to episode five of Summer S'mores 2025.

I'm joined by my fellow broadcaster, Extraordinaire.

Yep.

Trained her whole life for this.

Basically screwed around and just landed her butt and butter.

This is Sonam Obsession.

Sona, this is exciting today, and we're going to play a game.

And I know you're very competitive when you play games.

I am.

And I know you're very competitive when you play games, too.

I am a man who has seasoned with time.

I'm very chill and accepting of any results.

No.

Let's go now to our commentators here.

We have two, of course, Matt.

Gorley, Matt, how are you?

I'm fine.

Thanks, Conan.

How are you?

I'm good.

And thank you for that very stiff.

I'm in commentator mode.

I've got business to do.

Business to conduct, and the business of America is the business.

We are going to play Cornhole.

That's right.

And I'm going to go up against the dreaded Sonoma Obsession, who's terrific at Cornhole.

Well, and

we're also joined by my personal physician,

who's here in case, because I'm doing a physical activity.

That's right.

And Dr.

Arroyo, I've you suggested that you should be here to monitor my physical movements.

Exactly, exactly.

From the safe distance.

You're going to be throwing things that weigh a little bit, and I just want to make sure that you do it safely.

Okay, but we're talking about bean bags, Dr.

Arroyo.

These, a child, literally, maybe a newborn, could hold these bean bags.

I'm not worried about a newborn.

Okay.

All right.

Now,

Dr.

Arroyo, you've been with me for, I think, 11 years now.

That's correct.

Since we met.

Yes.

I think at a parking lot of a Taco Bell.

That's correct.

That's correct.

You looked like you needed some help.

I didn't.

I was fine.

I was walking to my car and you said, I need cash.

Help me.

I looked like I needed cash.

Yeah.

And

anyway, you then became my physician.

That's correct.

I have not looked at your credentials, and I've been told by you that's not a good idea.

It's not necessary.

And I'm here to watch the the cornhole game and uh and i'm just as uh uh capable of doing this as i am of uh practicing medicine

very good all right well shall we begin what do you think matt you're that you're in charge here ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 2025 summer s'mores cornhole invitational i'm matt gorley this is dr jose arroyo your color commentators for this afternoon of sport and frivolity our contestants today Conan O'Brien, Sonom Obsession.

We've been talking about this game here in the office for well over a year, and it's been rumored about that we would actually have a competition between the two.

We didn't do it last year, but we're doing it this year, and we have some surprise cornhole boards here, and I think it's time to reveal what we're looking at and the playing field.

Blais?

Oh, goodness.

Oh, wow.

Look at that.

Oh, these are fantastic.

Oh, wow.

So, listener at home, these boards are the perfect depiction of Conan with a giant wide open mouth to throw the beanbaskets.

And that is to scale, by the way.

That is the circumference of my open mouth and its relationship to my head.

Gorgeous.

And then the same for Sona.

There's a representation of Sona with an open mouth.

Dr.

Arroyo, do these seem anatomically correct?

They do, actually.

I've seen Conan yell and get his mouth that big.

So yes.

All right.

So are you guys familiar with the rules of cornhole?

Then you just try and get it in the hole?

That's pretty much it, yeah.

Where can we throw from?

I know you can't go too far.

You can go anywhere behind the front of the board.

Okay.

Got it.

Got it.

And so we'll begin with you, Conan.

You're tossing red into Sona.

Okay.

And whenever you're ready, you get one point for landing on the board, three points for getting in the mouth, and zero points for any that fall off.

Okay, so I should put these up here so they're ready, right?

We can talk shit, right?

And you should.

And you alternate shots.

So it's what's that?

You're supposed to alternate shots.

We alternate shots.

Okay.

Be careful if your toe does go in front of the board,

bitch.

Okay, and really.

This is good.

We need to talk trash.

This will up the the game.

So let me have it, Sona, and really give me your best

Glendale slash Altadina harsh vibes.

Yeah, you fucking can't throw, you little bitch.

Yeah,

what wasted height.

Like, who's this tall and can't even fucking sport?

You fucking loser.

Okay,

let's dial it back a little bit.

That was atrocious.

And I'm going to go straight from here, probably to therapy, and just cry.

All right, it's your turn, little bitch.

Okay, here we go.

I missed completely.

That was terrible.

Zero goose egg.

That one flew over like an F-15 Tomcat.

Sona with a blow.

She didn't come here to play.

Okay, I was just scooping around on the first one.

Now we get to business.

Watch your toe.

What's your toe?

What if I knock her one off?

She's going to do that.

Yeah.

Oh, damn.

Damn, it's slippery.

I didn't realize

we didn't get any warm-up.

Complaints already.

Oh, my God.

You can't fucking touch this.

I didn't interview you.

Don't swear.

Next time that happens, you lose a point.

Two points, three points, four points total for swing.

Oh my God, this is embarrassing for you.

Why do you see this game

interesting?

All right.

Never mind.

Okay.

I don't think it could be.

I was told.

I'm goofing around a little bit.

I was told to make this interesting.

And I was.

Oh, were you?

Yes, I was.

By Adam Sachs, our podcast producer.

Oh, my God.

So you've been seeing a little bit of what we call the old Baltimore flim flam.

Okay.

And

it's time now to show you what can really happen.

One point.

Well, okay.

That was a lot of talk.

No, no, no.

We're building up.

We're building up.

That was a lot of talk.

All right, Sona's up.

She's got two more bags left.

Five points, Sona.

One point, Conan.

I can't get better at this.

Conan's last bag.

Watch this.

Whoa, one point.

Okay, five to two so far.

Sona's got the last play.

We'll subtract the lower score from the higher and get this round's tally.

Oh!

All right, it's 62, which gives Sona four points.

Okay, we got it.

For this round, we're doing three rounds.

Yeah, I'm not worried about this at all because I was told make a little space up front.

This is the first game.

Yeah, make it interesting.

That's going to get the clicks, the clacks, and the social.

So we should see you really sail from behind.

Yeah, you're going to see it.

All right, great.

I'm actually promising you that.

All right, you guys get to move over to the other side for fair winded.

Am I still pitching red?

Yes.

Who went first last time?

Conan did.

Okay, so so Sona, you go first this time.

Maybe if we did a competition where we built wooden airplanes, you'd win.

Thork.

I'd build an excellent wooden airplane.

Dr.

Royal, mental health.

Does it play a part in this game?

It plays a huge part in this game.

And Sona so far has shown incredible confidence and stamina.

And let's just see if she can bring it home.

I don't know.

She's on the board with another point.

And now's the part where Conan shows you he was just.

The important thing is not to talk

while they're about to throw because that can throw their confidence and their and their game off.

All right.

So you you wait.

So I should

exactly.

Oh, three points.

He's backing up his sack.

Well done.

All right.

So the Sakariliac Jack.

Oh, two, Sona.

Three, Conan.

Conan's on his second throw.

Knocks himself up.

That was called a

Donnie Doug back in where I'm from, Boston.

Oh.

3-2.

current score.

Oh, damn.

Sona's last bag.

Alley oop.

It's on the board.

Tied up three to three.

Conan's got one more.

Get there.

It's one.

It's four to three.

That's one point for Conan.

Four for the last round.

Right now, it's Sona three

points ahead.

Sona three points ahead.

What's that?

Four to one.

What are you talking about?

I'm scoring cornhole.

Yeah, but it sounds like mush.

It sounds like an auctioneer who just shot himself in the head and then started the auction.

Sona has four and you have one.

The point is.

Trust me, watch what happens.

This is called the old Alley Oopsie oopsie-doopsie.

No one calls it that.

If they did.

This is the last round, correct?

It's first to seven.

First to seven.

Okay.

All right.

First of seven?

First to seven.

How long are we here?

It's four to one right now.

So Soda should win it.

She's over halfway.

Yeah, yeah.

Two.

You ready?

And bongo.

One point close to the mouth.

That's what we call a chinner.

And now it's a blue black for the old labadou

two two on the board one on the board for sona no

she's just knocks one in from

three points okay over the board threw it completely over sona's head but a lot of things go over her head doesn't read here we go oh someone's getting hurtful because he's losing

all right all right five for conan three for sona that's a net of two for conan

and a net of one because Sona just put one on the board.

So we are now at four to two.

Okay.

So Conan's inching his way up.

He's inching his way up.

What did I say I was going to do?

Let me tell you something.

Oh, my God.

Cornhole's a game.

It's in the mind more than the arm.

Jesus.

I have created an expectation, which will soon turn into a

expectation.

I think we're ready to go.

I don't think I've ever seen you throw anything.

I'm feeling that at all.

No.

In my whole life.

You've seen me throw a fit?

Yes.

You've seen me throw a tantrum?

Uh-huh.

You've seen me throw out my back?

Yes.

You've seen me throw out Jose's pitches?

Yeah.

That's true.

So

I stand up.

Yeah, I think you go first on this one.

Oh.

All right.

Sona's up here.

Four to two.

Over the board.

She doesn't score on that.

Conan

with a nice little ginger touch.

One on the board.

One for Sona.

Look at that.

Look at it.

It's like I'm sticking out my tongue at all of you.

Yes, we got to get a shot of that.

Get to that.

Let a shot of that.

But that's not a three-pointer.

That's a one-pointer because it hasn't gone through the whole thing.

But it will.

It probably will.

If old man Gravity knows what he's doing

it's like caddyshack just wait

oh

i'm getting your bags in for you we're currently sona two conan four for this round

one more point for conan

sona with the last throw that's one more for sona and conan's final throw for the round put that sack in the mouth yes

say that again dr royal put that sack in the mouth conan you know it's funny first time i met you you said that i i remember oh boy it was true story parking lot taco Taco Bell.

Here it goes.

Turned out I was.

It was benign, remember?

Your sack.

Said it tasted benign.

I agree.

You have a benign sack?

What is that?

Yeah, clearly.

My wife's been saying that for years.

Well, Hershey's finally decided to sponsor Summer S'mores.

You know, this has been the long con.

We invented Summer S'mores to lure.

Hershey's.

This is all I've ever seen.

This is like the movie The Sting.

It's this really long con.

It's taken years to play out.

We don't don't disagree on s'mores.

The whole thing was staged just to get some attention.

And now old man Hershey has found himself in our snare.

Ha ha.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, they decided to sponsor Summer S'mores, but they left me out.

Matt and Sona got all this amazing merchant swag.

I got nothing because I'm anti-s'more.

Well, now I understand why my past comments on s'mores divided a nation, a nation which is rarely divided.

But Hershey's, I want you to know my beef is not with you.

I love chocolate.

I love your new Hershey caramel bar, I believe.

That a s'more could be just chocolate and graham cracker, no marshmallow needed.

I had the new Hershey's caramel.

It was great.

It was terrific.

Sona, what do you think?

How is the s'more with caramel?

Tell me what you think.

It's so good.

I mean, honestly, if anybody tries to give me a s'more without Hershey chocolate, I just smack it out of their hand.

And the caramel just upped the game big time.

I saw your face light up.

That was my, I feel like tasting that was my purpose in life.

Try Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Caramel today, s'more more.

The best moments happen outside.

Wandering along, and hey, look, that mama bird's making a nest.

Yeah.

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And I would see people with the LL Bean tote bag.

Yeah, it's a nice one, too.

Yeah, I want to grow up to be that person.

That's what I would say.

And they'd say, okay, kid, that's good.

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Outside Together since 1912.

Well, this is the last bag, unless I remarry.

Here we go.

There it is.

Conan's up 5-4.

What the fuck?

Now,

what did we talk about?

Are you serious?

Yeah, what are we talking about?

Well, you were goofing around.

This is exactly what I said was going to happen.

Two points away from winning.

Oh, Sony, you have to beat him with that.

And I start.

I start.

Remember?

I start.

Oh, I got to get mine because it went in.

Here we go.

Oh, it's an extra.

Sony, you have to beat him.

One point, Conan.

All right, this is it.

I'm done.

I'm done.

One point, Sona.

Lofty throw from Conan.

It's good for another point.

Sona's right on his heels with another point.

2-2 here on this round.

Three points for Conan.

Oh, man.

No!

Sona knocks one of hers off the board with a one-point round.

Oh, Conan's off.

Is it?

Oh, she's got one more bag.

You got one more bag.

You got to make a three-pointer here to stay alive.

Shut up, it turtle.

Here we go.

Shut the fuck up.

Are you playing?

Are you playing?

What if she knocks off one of his bags?

I got next after the recording.

Oh my god.

Yeah?

You could knock off one of his bags, or you could just punch him in the sack.

Been there, done that.

There she is.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

No, for all his talk, Conan comes through.

And the Empire has won.

God, you hate to see it.

And And I'm an unbiased observer.

Man.

Sona.

That's voluntary, isn't it, Conan?

Is that?

Okay.

God, I started off so strong.

Touch Roy, if you don't mind, give me a quick.

It's really good.

I think you're good for another two years.

Could I.

Two years.

Ten years.

Can you check the heart as well, please?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I'm just going to compare it.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

We're both good.

You get these at any costume shop.

This is correct.

This is correct.

But this one cost me a lot of money.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

Dr.

Arroyo, you got a problem?

Yeah, I do have a problem.

Bitch.

Yeah.

Sticks and stones may something, something, but names will...

Well, that was exciting.

For you.

Yeah, for you.

Because

there was this perception which I created that things were going to be tough and that I was really, you know, hurting.

Then out of nowhere...

Out of nowhere.

It took you like four rounds to make enough points.

So I just crumbled.

That's all it was.

I would like Eduardo to weigh in.

Eduardo's a man of sport.

He's a sportsman.

I think luck goes a long way.

Yay!

That was luck.

It was luck because I started to really suck after that first round.

You know what?

I'm down for a rematch anytime.

Well, I'll never touch that game again because I've just proven that I'm the best in the world at it.

Walk away from success, I always say.

This is a rough way to end the season of Summer Smart.

I know.

Sona, how are you feeling?

I feel like shit.

I'm really upset I lost.

I hate losing things in general, but losing to Conan is probably my biggest nightmare.

I hate it so much.

I can't think of anything I hate more than losing to Conan.

I'm really upset.

I'm pissed.

I'm mad at myself.

I'm mad at my family.

I'm mad at everyone who works on this stupid fucking podcast.

I hate everybody who thought of this idea that it could open up this world in which Conan beats me at something.

Boy, you have the sympathy vote, and then I think you lose.

I just,

I don't think you realize losing to Conan is the worst person you could lose to because he's a gloater.

You're a gloater.

No, I don't gloat.

All I do is savor the victory out loud.

I don't know if that's what gloating is.

And over an extended period of time and with great bravado.

If that's gloating, then I suppose I'm a gloater.

I don't think it is.

Conan, what are you planning to do with this victory?

Well, I've heard there's a Cornhole Circuit.

Oh, my God.

Now, several years ago, I went on something that I was told was the Cornhole Circuit.

It turned out to be a very different thing.

And.

Is that how you got so good at Cornhole?

It had nothing to do with this.

It was a misnomer.

They call it the Cornhole Circuit, but I assure you, it is not this game.

And I met some lovely people,

but I was filled with shame afterwards.

I felt degraded and used.

So that's not going to happen again.

I prefer this cornhole, but it turns out I'm good at both.

So I think I want to get out there and I think I'm a good spokesperson for this game and for the other cornhole.

Wait, have you ever played for Reels?

No.

Okay.

And you've probably played a lot, and that's interesting.

Have you played before?

I've played a few times.

Yeah.

I've played.

And where do you play at sort of backyard events?

Yeah, like picnics.

And who's at this picnic?

Tell me a little bit about the picnic.

Well, friends, family, cool people, like cool people who know each other.

You just said you hate your family.

Well, I'm angry that I lost.

So I'm just talking about how angry I am.

I'm getting my anger out.

I hate that I lost to you.

So I'm blaming everyone but myself.

Let it go.

You have a beautiful family.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I called you a bitch multiple multiple times.

You're not wrong.

You're not wrong.

Gourley, what was it like for you to watch me

come from behind after predicting it?

I called it.

That was like a bad thing.

Like Namath,

you know, with the Jets.

I called it.

No one, I was, I was the underdog.

People like to call me king of the dorks and et cetera, et cetera.

And then I come out with one of the greatest displays of physical prowess and

mental acumen that people have ever seen.

Honestly, it made me hate my family, too.

It made me hate Sona's family.

Yeah.

I hate Sona's family now.

Well, this was, I think we learned something.

No, we didn't.

It's just that life is a series of miserable disappointments.

Yes.

And there's no justice.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's what we, that was the goal.

That was the title of the episode.

That's what we meant to achieve.

I loved it.

I just loved being outside.

This was our last episode outside.

Remember how we started the series and he was so bleak and complaining about circuits and he wins one game of Cornhole and all suddenly life is all small.

I know, I hate that smug face.

Oh, I hate your smug face.

Let's just say I'm getting some tonight.

Oh, God.

Cornhole.

No.

Listen, let's just leave that up to the imagination.

No, let's not.

Okay.

Let's not do that.

What's happening with this Cornhole set?

Yeah, what are we going to do with these?

These two are amazing.

Who made these?

Who made these?

These are terrific.

Ryan did this?

It's great.

It's great.

It's really well done.

Please give him our thanks.

Let's give him a full shout out.

What's his last name?

Ryan Godo.

Art Director Ryan Godo.

Let's hear it for Ryan Godo, friends.

And while we're at it, everybody who worked on this series, we still have one more episode in studio, but out here, everybody's at play.

So thank you to all of you.

I'm sorry, you've gone too far.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I think I made this happen.

I got here early.

I set up the cameras and I scheduled everything.

No, whose idea was Cornwall?

I want to know.

I want to know.

Eduardo's been wanting to come.

Was it your idea?

It was me.

It was me.

I knew you were coming out.

You wanted to set me up to look the fool.

No, I knew you would come through.

What?

Nobody ever bets on Conan when there's an athletic anything.

Rule said I'd have the tonight show for 10 years.

Oh, boy.

He put a lot of money in it, and no one in his family is ever going to college now.

Hey, I want to say, in all sincerity, to echo and continue what Matt so nobly began.

We sail in at the last minute, like a bunch of goons, three goons in a pod.

And everyone

here has worked so hard to make this really fun.

This was a fun day.

Yeah, it was.

It started out with me moaning about all the conduits that are visible in the back of the Larchmont studios and ended with triumph of evil over good.

Okay.

And

triumph over evil over good.

And I kept like, I can't believe that you were like, no, no, no.

Wait a minute.

I don't know that yes, yes.

But

yeah, I want to thank everybody here who worked so hard.

And I also want to thank Dr.

Arroyo.

Yes.

Yes.

Dr.

Arroyo, stop in here, please.

And you are a man with

a very shadowy background, a man who has been derided by the Medical Association of America

and worldwide for being a poser, a fraud, a huckster.

But you came here today.

They also say bad things.

You came here today with, I'm assuming your time is very valuable.

It is.

It is.

I have to be somewhere right now.

I get,

Actually, I am a live cornhole target.

I don't know if I do that.

You do that?

I do that for $19 an hour.

So for people that don't have a sexual live cornhole.

If they have an inclined plane, I will sit there with my mouth open.

And so

you do children's parties?

I do children's parties.

Exactly.

I'm curious, Dr.

Arroyo, has choking ever been an issue?

Does the beanbag ever get in there?

Oh, all the time.

Who is your counterpart?

That is the other board.

Well, I don't know, because I'm looking at the sun.

And you have to keep your eyes open.

They want to open that eye cornhole.

Exactly.

And so

I have protection.

So you're headed now to Tarzana.

Correct.

You will lay down and stare at the sun at some event.

Is it a bar mitzvah, a bot mitzvah?

Is it, I mean, tell me what kind of event this is.

Is it someone's wedding?

It's somebody's 30th wedding anniversary.

They wanted to toss bean bags at

me,

and I'll be lying down.

You know what?

That's as good a use of a doctor's time as I think I've ever heard.

And I want to thank you, Dr.

Royal.

And God bless you and the work that you're trying to do but failing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

Oh, what's this?

He does everything with such a plom.

What a show business professional.

Don't know what.

I'm just going to practice.

Practice.

You practice.

Incline plane.

I so want to throw a beanbag in there.

I know.

I didn't.

I know, but I'd break his nose.

How about a marshmallow?

Well, we could try.

Yeah.

You know, it's worth it.

If you can make him choke, it's like four points.

This is awful.

This is the worst thing.

This is something.

I think Caligula did this.

Jose,

why are you doing this?

Jose, you have.

Oh!

I ever shot this.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, next year I'll take you in Cornhole.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Dr.

Arroyo, wonderful fellow.

Absolutely no self-esteem.

We want to, again, we will see you next week for the wrap-up, the emotional wrap-up to this 2025

installment of Chill Chums and, of course, the aforementioned, what do we call this again, Summer S'mores?

I just hate how happy you are.

It's awful.

You can tell, right?

Yeah, I hate.

You have like a, you're very like chipper in the way you're talking.

Oh, you're the worst guy in the world.

Oh, my God.

Honestly.

Oh, you're awesome.

Bad winner.

Bad winner.

All right.

Well, we'll see you next week.

Peace out.

That was brutal.

Summer S'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovesian, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Liao.

Theme song by The White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

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