Jessica Williams

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Okay, hi, my name is Jessica Williams, and I feel pressured about being Conan's friend.

They make you say it.

It's crazy.

They make you say it.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

This is a hostage situation.

And I can't leave until I say it.

It should feel like pressure because no one naturally becomes my friend.

Fall is here, heal the yell.

Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Yes, I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Hey there, and welcome to another edition of Conan O'Brien.

Needs a friend.

Let me explain what's going on.

Of course, joined as always by Matt Gorley, Sonoma Obsession.

I've had a lot of dental work this morning.

I went in, my dentist, she does a wonderful job.

She's really terrific.

But

she had to to work on the front of my face and she had to work on the back on a molar.

And I like the way I said molar.

And

she shot me up with so much Novocaine

that my face is all floppy.

What are you also kind of drunk?

You seem drunk.

You didn't even say hi.

You just came in.

I was like, let's go.

Press record.

I am not

drunk.

What a terrible thing to say.

It is 1.40 in the afternoon.

No, I am not.

I just, heard.

Are you drunk off the Novocaine?

Like, is it affecting you?

I don't think Novocaine.

I'd like to have a psychopharm here who tells us what the effects are.

But no, I don't think I'm.

I think I've been sitting in a chair at a dentist's office for three hours while they played some Spotify playlist, which I didn't enjoy.

Yeah.

Like, what was it?

You don't want to say that.

I don't want to.

Can you say the genre?

It was

just a lot of wailing.

Maybe that was patience from the other room.

No, it wasn't.

I like the patience more.

Just Halloween sound effects.

No,

it wasn't doing any good.

Any hoots.

And there was no opening like after

we record this podcast?

No, they could.

Okay.

I thought it was going to be this morning and it got pushed a little later.

And I actually went in much earlier than I was supposed to and was like, you know, I got to record today.

And I care about my fans, the people out there.

Also, there was part of me in the back of my head that thought, I really want to get on mic while my mouth was so mushy.

Because I thought it's kind of funny.

I mean, literally, if I had a drink right now, it would all come out my mouth.

Can you do it?

No, take a drink.

You gotta have a drink.

Please, I don't want to dribble all over myself.

So you've got a fool of yourself.

Yeah, I have other ways to do that.

I don't need a prop drink to make a fool of myself.

I can just talk and share my opinions and thoughts that occur to me.

Thoughts.

Thoughts.

Suffering.

Fuck a tash.

No, but you know, here's the thing.

She gave me an injection up here by my, what's this?

The incisor radio?

What's this one?

The fan?

The canine?

The canine.

Yeah, no fucking teeth.

What'd you say to me?

I said, I don't know fucking teeth.

I know what a molar is, but once we get past the molars, what is happening in here?

You're the mother of two little boys.

And you just went, I don't know fucking teeth.

And you grab your crotch, like, take it easy there.

So what happens is when they get this nerve up front, it deadens your nose.

It's going up to my eye.

I think she gave me way too much.

And I think it's because I mentioned to her: well, first of all, I'm a redhead.

And the old saying is that we're harder to anesthetize.

So I think she gave me a lot extra.

And she actually did inject my eye at one point.

Oh, wow.

Just for fun, to see what it would do.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I don't feel this side of my face.

And I raced in here.

I swear to God, I was bombing down Shung Shet Boulevard to get here fast before this.

Shung Shet Boulevard.

Well, I put a little English on the wall.

Okay.

But

I bombed down here so that I could get here before it wore off because I just want the content.

And I swear to God, I think my face looks a little shaggy on this show.

It does.

It does.

I looked at you and I was like, something's off.

Yeah, Sean's west.

Oh, yeah, a little bit.

And you sound a little bit like Holly Hunter.

You've got those extra-ish and like a Connery-Holly Hunter mix.

Sean Connery and Holly Hunter had a baby.

And James Stewart.

And then I'm putting some James.

Do you know me?

Do you know me, Mr.

Gower?

It's me.

It's George Bailey.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Dishes.

Dishes, who?

Dishes, Sean Connery.

Yeah!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne, who?

Dwayne Netub.

I'm drowning.

Oh, no.

This is the best ever.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Go fuck yourself.

There it is.

I'm busy trying to jerk off in here.

You didn't see that one coming, did you, kids?

How's it guy supposed to jerk?

Are you aware that Dwayne is still in there with you?

Oh, no.

There's a dead guy in a tub while I'm jerking it.

This mini play brought to you by Masterpiece Theatre.

As narrated by old Mushmouth Gonshin.

Yeah.

Man, I really don't want this to go away.

I'm enjoying it.

I'm the only

what's wrong with me that I raced out of the doctor's office.

I know.

There's a parking garage.

I drove through the little arm.

I didn't even pay.

Shattered it and drove 90 miles an hour down Sunset Boulevard.

I was like, get out of the way.

Well, my face is so mushy.

I got to record.

You cut through Central Park and we're not even in New York.

We're not even in New York.

Bodies everywhere.

You know, good times.

Good times.

And may this never wear off.

Well, let's get into it.

We've got to do.

Tell us about our guest today.

Let me put on my glasses.

Oh, no.

I got other regular glasses on, but they're not as funny as these.

My guest today

was a correspondent on the Daily Show and now stars in the Apple TV Plus series, Shrinking.

I'm thrilled she's here today.

Of course, when I talked to her, my face wasn't shut up with Nova Cain.

So,

Jessica Williams, welcome.

I want to do a little backstory, which is I

have, like a lot of people, been a fan of yours for a long time.

And then there was an event that we did together and we got to be together on stage.

And it was a Broadway production of Gypsy.

You too and Gypsy?

Yeah, we did it.

I mean, it was so great.

I went for it.

For 15,000 people.

Yeah.

No, but we did this event together and I had so much fun

with you riffing.

Just we could finish each other's sentences.

It was really fun.

I walked off stage and I called my booker, Paula Davis, and I said, Why hasn't she been on the podcast?

So you screamed at her.

I screamed at her.

And then I realized later on that I was off my meds.

And we had a terrible time actually.

And then they told me later on, all you did was scream at Jessica the whole time.

Awful.

Yeah.

And then he made us go out and play the slots.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I was like, quarter me, quarter me.

Quarter?

Quarter?

Where have you been?

I never heard that phrase before.

It's not a phrase.

It's got to be more than a quarter now, right?

Of course it is.

I've been in.

I'm a chap, right?

I don't gamble.

I've never, I don't know.

And then is someone standing next to you with your quarters and handing you the quarters?

Well, it used to be you, and then it was David Hopping.

And I'd say, quarter me, and you'd give me like 15 quarters because that's what it costs now.

But we were just talking.

I mean, here's the thing.

I walked in the door.

You got here just before me and we start talking.

There's no artifice.

It's so, it's, it's so easy to talk to you that we started getting into stuff right away that was really good.

The next thing I know, we were talking about how we'd love to take a, like an Orient Express train ride, all of us.

Yeah.

But that there'd have to be a murder.

And then I remembered Sona was on a cruise where there was a murder.

And you want to hear about that.

Yeah, that's my question.

So because sometimes I hear when there's a murder on a cruise, they have to put them in the freezer or refrigerator somewhere.

Yeah.

What do you know?

Tell me everything.

I know.

I care about that stuff.

And all the witnesses have to go in the refrigerator, too.

We've got to talk about it.

She was the murderer.

Oh, it was you.

Yeah.

We were at dinner, and then you could see.

Who's we?

Who's we?

Me and my husband, Tak, and then two of our friends who went on the cruises.

This was in Alaska.

And then a voice comes on the intercom.

The entire cruise can hear it.

And you go, all medical and security personnel to the ninth floor.

And you could hear the panic in their voice.

And then we were like, oh, what's happening?

But we didn't stop eating our dinner.

Like, we thought we were like, it could be an active show.

What imagine if they did a Titanic, too?

Titanic.

They were like,

we're like, oh, that sounds bad.

Yeah.

Well, we've got two hours before we go under.

So I'll have more of the veal.

And then we heard it again, and you could see all the employees start to get worried.

And then the next day we were docked and we were supposed to be still cruising.

And the captain came on and he said, yesterday there was a domestic disturbance and a woman from Utah has died.

And then we were all searching and there were all these news stories.

Her husband

killed her.

It's always the husband.

And the security came in while he was dragging her body to the balcony to throw it overboard.

Security came in because I guess they heard the noise, you told me.

And can you imagine they like pushed open the door?

The door was open.

They go in and the guy has her body halfway out the porthole window and he's like uh

i can explain i was pulling her in

she died

then a bird pulled her out and i'm trying to pull her back in

so he was caught he was it's crazy he was actually caught in a murder i feel like that never i watch a lot of true crime and dateline and it just never happens that they're caught right in the middle of it no it's so sad and then well it got even sad like he the fbi came on board, they were interviewing people, and then we followed the story.

He got convicted, and then he lost his appeal, and then he killed himself in his jail cell.

Wow, wow, wow, my god, sorry, that's so downright.

That's what it happened.

That's all the time we have, Jessica.

But

you were pressured.

Thank you.

Exactly the way I imagined it.

We're going to get into more murder, but first,

I want to say

you were the youngest.

I still, I think still to this day, the youngest daily show correspondent ever.

You were seven years old.

I thought it was too soon.

I was like,

I never understood.

Your take on the news was terrible.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

It's always like, I'm tired.

That's what my poopy dipey.

My poopy dipey.

Poopy dipey.

You know, because we talked about like complex issues in the news that needed real.

I'm sorry.

I thought that was, that was a little early for you.

but that's the thing about jon stewart is he really pushes satire and that's what he's not for so when he saw first nobody knows how i got it like i remember i was auditioning we're on larchmont right now allison jones casting office used to be here i don't know if she's still here but i was auditioning for something else and it was a will farrell movie and they were looking for six-year-olds and i was auditioning for it and then allison jones was like you might not be right for this but they're casting the daily show do you want to come back and put something on tape and i was going to calculate long beach at the time that's where i went you did and did you do comedy sports?

Yeah, I did comedy sports since high school.

What?

Yeah.

Do you grow up here?

Uh-huh.

Whittier?

Cool.

Whittier?

Yeah.

Dude, everybody I know from Whittier is always like, I'm from Whittier.

Oh, my God.

Trust me, a day doesn't go by.

I mean, I've been behind him.

I've seen him at a traffic stop, true story, get out of his car and start shouting at the driver, stopped behind him, waiting for the light to change.

I'm from Whittier.

I'm not from that part of Whittier.

I'm from Whittier.

I'm from Whittier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't have to hear me.

Yeah, I'm from Torrance.

Oh, my God.

And she's from Hacienda Heights.

Oh, cool.

Awesome.

Hell yeah, locals.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I was born in Casas.

No, stop.

Casa deliveries.

Del Blanco.

What?

What?

Casa del Blanco?

Yeah, it's 40 minutes outside of Casitas Las Muchachas.

I'm telling you,

we had a great air hockey team.

Do you guys have air hockey in here?

This office is really cool.

Won't spring for it.

No.

You know what I do remember?

I remember when I was hosting the late night show, and we were always under so much pressure early on, like, we're going to get canceled.

This isn't going to work.

Oh, my God.

And I think it was maybe the second or third Christmas when the nickel finally dropped that.

We were doing okay.

There was really good press.

The network seemed happy.

And Christmas hit.

And I was, you know, when you take off a backpack after a long hike, you feel like you can fly, like you're floating.

That's how I felt.

And so we, I just started running around buying presents for everybody.

And I remember I was buying presents for all these people at the show and so full of joy.

And we were doing our last show before the Christmas break.

And we never used to get breaks.

And then I

went insane.

I ran downstairs and ran through the streets to a store, like a Brookstone, and bought a giant air hockey table that was bigger than I was.

And I was carrying it down the street.

And people are like, I think Carl Bryan's, he's got a giant giant box and he's laughing like a maniac and i took it upstairs and i went hey everybody i got us air hockey so it's so funny you would bring that up but

he actually did

about that no but didn't you bring it up maybe i don't know i felt it that was what happened in vegas around the slots it was like but i love that feeling i really like giving gifts i really do especially like i like when you just like nail it.

Like I love when you nail it and that's like exactly the person you thought about it ahead of time.

That's like the best feeling.

Like this year, I'm all about like a little pizza oven.

So now I'm thinking about like, I think this will come out after we wrap, but I think for my like glam team, I'm going to get them like little pizza ovens for their house.

Wow, that is

because there's like the Ghazni and there's the Ooni now.

Have you thought of the solo stove pizza?

Yeah, those are cool.

Do they still advertise with us?

It's been a while.

The solo stove?

Oh, fuck the solo stove.

You love it?

Did you, you got it?

Cause they advertise?

Why?

Do you love the solo stove?

First of all, I do do legitimately, I never, ever, I will never shill a product that I don't honestly believe in.

I don't know if you're going to shill a product.

Okay.

That I don't believe in.

And I think those missiles are doing their job.

Oh, boys.

I'm constantly.

Our best advertiser is the Rand Corporation.

And they make a missile.

I mean, it kills everything.

But no, the solo stove is, I do like it.

And they do make a pizza oven that we have back here.

But I'm saying this, hey, solo stove, if you wandered away from Conan O'Brien, you made a terrible mistake.

But I think a pizza oven is a great idea.

It's nice, it's nice.

It's like they have like their houses that they're doing.

And I just built a pizza oven at my house, and I just use one of those DIY like pizza oven kits.

And I'll tell you, we used it for the first time a few weeks ago.

The joy of like putting a pizza in there, and you're just like, What?

It rises in 90 seconds.

Like, it's like you're laughing.

Like, we were like, it felt like we were going to live forever.

We were doing it.

It was so great.

I was like, this is amazing like wow i knew that heat and dough yeah you know ancient yeah cut to ancient greeks yeah stone age pre-bronze age man

heat plus dough but it is funny how removed we get yes in our world we have apps we have all this stuff and when someone really introduces us to this is what a fresh orange tastes like we lose our like what this old time yeah like how to orange starburst someone explains to me kind of roughly how the planets move.

I'm like, what?

Yeah.

We've got to get the word out.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

The moon moves with us.

Insane.

I saw like a, you ever just catch a SpaceX launch and you're like, what the?

You know, and they're like blasting like eight satellites in the air that you have no idea like what that is and why.

That's insane.

This guy's just blasting satellites out into the like unregulated, like just non-stop.

He is a bond villain.

He is a bond villain.

A bond villain.

It also feels like metaphorical the way he's like, forgive me, spreads his seed on Earth.

It's like he's doing it in space.

Yeah, like splooshing.

Splooching, yes.

It's tough, man.

He's colonizing

direct rockets.

Because they look so phallic more than just a normal rocket.

They haven't had anything.

And he calls them it's like cock one, cock two, cock three.

We've had a failure of cock four, which, by the way, I've been there.

Cock three, yeah, it's tough.

I want to ask you because

cock four was tough.

I mean, at least you have four cocks.

It was tough to see Cock 4 go down.

It was really a dark day for space travel, dude.

It's funny because I'm always curious when I'm talking to someone who I find effortlessly funny and real.

Okay, please tell me, where does this come from?

What is your origin story, your Marvel origin story?

Who's showing you stuff when you're a kid?

And what are you watching and what are you seeing?

Yeah.

My grandma was really into comedy.

So she would watch you.

She'd watch Conan.

She lived in the valley.

So could she would let me stay up and watch stuff with her she liked like early adult swim um she liked south parks

this is cool how I mean this is a very cool

my grandmother had she lived to be 120 would not have shown me space ghost yeah yeah we watched a lot of space ghost that's very I know isn't that weird and uh I could say I watched Saturday Night Live Mad TV and she was kind of immobile because she was like diabetic and had a lot of health problems she was like a Vegas lady like she lived really hard like cult 45 every night, like smoked for a long time.

Like she was like very crack, like, ah, like in a fun way.

So it explained there was like a bodiness to her that I really like loved.

So she, I think she really got in there.

And then the year I tried out for comedy sports, my high school improv team, I think she passed away.

So that was when I started my, my improv career.

But aside from just loving comedy and always feeling like it was a valid medium, I'm just, I do think everything's kind of inherently interesting.

And I think that I'm very curious about the way the world is.

And I feel like I know a little bit about a lot of things and it's interesting.

And I also like when I'm talking to people, finding out what they're interested in, it's like interesting to me when someone lights up about shoe shining or something.

And so that's just kind of how I live my life.

Well, that's what I got right away is genuine.

You have that light of, I want to know, I want to play.

And combined with humility of I don't know everything.

There's a lot of stuff I don't know.

And whenever someone comes into a room telling me how much they know, I know that they're not a smart person.

Yeah, no, wisdom is you don't know anything.

Yeah, wisdom is the more you learn, the less you know.

That's right.

And every few years I find, I'm 35, every few years I find I look back and think, oh, I didn't know as much as I thought I did even three years ago.

But there's something very comforting in like not being done.

You know, there's something really on shrinking, the show that I'm on, there is something really cool about watching Harrison Ford's arcs because there's this is a guy who's still in progress and there's something to like, you know, even somebody who's in his 80s is like still learning lessons.

And there's something really comforting about that.

So I really care about that.

I think I look at

Harrison Ford that way.

I look at Martin Short that way, who I just saw in New York.

I look at Steve Martin that way.

I love looking at people who are from, you know, the generation ahead of me who they're killing it.

They're trying things.

They're up on everything.

They're not calcifying.

And I think

that's the one thing I never wanted to do is be the person who's like, I don't know what this new comedy is.

I don't, you know, what is this Tim Robin?

Making his face is, you know, I just think I'm always trying to, and it, you know,

let's, I want to access, I get excited when I see new people being really funny, funny in ways that it never occurred to me.

It makes me enthusiastic.

That's another thing.

I don't, I think we were talking about this too.

I don't like pretension in comedy.

Like, if there's like, when I was coming up in comedy with all of the like companies that I did and whatever,

now in retrospect, there were like these guys that were just dicks about comedy, like teaching me that I think about all these classes that I took where it was just like someone who really understands improv and sketch teaching in class, but being so mean.

There's nothing worse than the young improv man.

Oh my God, like so mean for no reason.

And then when I got the daily show and I got to work with John, it was like a revelation of like, yeah, oh, you don't have to be a mean boss.

Like, you don't, you know, there's guys.

I disagree here.

I think cruelty has its place.

Right, Eduardo?

Sure.

I let you go a while ago, Eduardo.

Eduardo's weeping.

I don't know know if you can see it.

I've always believed that your home should be an expression of who you are.

That was my mom.

I have that like tattooed on my low back.

Oh, wow.

I could have had so many things tattooed down there.

And that's what I chose.

Down there.

Yeah.

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I also find there's something about,

and it would be true for John on the Daily Show, I think it was true for me when there's a volume of work that needs to be done.

Like we've got to make these shows all the time.

You find that when someone else has a good idea, when someone else can get the laughs, it doesn't cost me.

The boat, it's a rising sea that lifts all boats.

Like, I'm good.

I don't care who gets.

And I think that is,

I think.

Sometimes, I mean, I haven't, I imagine that sometimes when there's very little space, like sometimes I saw bad behavior at Saturday Night Live because it's what there's 20 shows a year, which when you think about it, if you take away the music, it's not a lot of real estate, a lot of people fighting to get their sketch on.

And if you've been working all week and you come in to see the board on Wednesday night to see if you got in or not, and your sketch is in limb, is in the dead man's, the little index card has been moved to the bottom of the board, it's devastating.

And so people.

You know, there can be some sharp elbows because there's less space, I think.

Yeah, and the turnover there is really crazy.

You know, it's not just like, oh, you had a bad few weeks.

It's like, oh, no, no, it matters my livelihood.

You know, it's like, this is like our careers.

You know, this is like something that, you know, we want to have sustainable jobs from this business.

That would be really, really great.

And I found that when I, I was at Uprise Citizens Brigade when I got the Daily Show.

And it was sort of that thing where the next move was either Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show.

And, you know, both are great.

I have friends who have done Saturday Night Live and been really happy with it.

But for me, The Daily Show was a great fit because I'm really gentle and like very sensitive.

And I needed like someone to be really nice to me.

That's the only, I do way better.

I think you made the right call.

Yeah, you know, you never know, but

I do really better.

I do a lot better when people are nicer to me.

I don't, I don't thrive when someone's like withholding.

I also think my guess would be a gig on the Daily Show as a correspondent means you will get on air.

Yeah.

It's guaranteed.

I think that's a very smart move.

Obviously, clearly, I can say it now because I'm

armchair quarterbacking, but that is, I would like to think that's what I would have advised you to do because

SNL, there are cast members who were there for a year and a half, but you didn't really see them much.

They didn't get the time.

They didn't, and there are people that have, that didn't work on SNL and then went on.

And I know one of your heroes is Julia Louis Dreyfus.

I mean, she technically, it didn't work out for her at SNL.

And she's become one of the iconic comedians of all time.

Veep, for my money, is

one of

that her performance in Veep is one of the most flawless performance

and the writing on that show.

And it's so

tight.

It's like tight and filthy.

It's precise.

Filthy.

It's so mean.

It's so filthy.

I think about that performance.

all the time.

The amount of like

of nuance that she has for every single moment.

She's always always listening.

That's like the kind of actor I want to be.

And that's, I'm always

like, even I did like high school plays and stuff.

And we, I had really great drama teachers.

I'm like the product of a really good LAUSD drama program that was underfunded, but I had great performing arts teachers.

And they would be like, If you think we can't see you back there, because you're not in the front of the stage, we're going to throw our sandals at you

because you think we can't see you.

You better freaking smile.

I don't care.

You know, and it's- This is the famous sandal technique.

This is the L-A-U-S-D, like, sandal technique, but it still sticks with me to this day.

And Julia is totally doing that.

She's always listening.

I didn't catch that last part.

But

she,

she, and the other thing that's very cool about her is that

she doesn't, she's one of those people that doesn't know she's Julia Louis Dreyfus.

Like if I, any time spent telling her how amazing she is at her work, she'd be like, what are we talking about here?

You know, what do you think of this avocado?

Oh, that's Harrison.

That's Harrison.

Yeah, exactly.

It's the same as Harrison Ford.

100%.

They're like people that have been famous for so long that it's like.

Were you intimidated by Harrison Ford?

Because when you first see him, it can be.

Starring.

It can be.

Well, you had that experience here on the podcast where he walked in and he sat right in that seat.

Yeah.

And he's like.

amazing actor of my life.

He's the guy.

Yeah.

No, he's the guy.

Anytime I think, there's like, you think of the guy, you've got Tom Cruise, kind of the guy, like the movie star.

But weird guy.

Tom Cruise, weird guy.

Yeah.

Harrison's weird too.

Tom, Tom, you know.

I'll say this too.

I'm going to say something.

I've worked closely with Tom Cruise a bunch of times and spent like time with him when we were shooting something.

So have I, just so we're clear.

Yeah, me too.

It's a different now.

I'm just like, wait, I don't believe you.

I'm new.

That was Tomas Cruz.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I went on the cruise to Tomas.

Yeah, yeah.

To the Isle of Tom, to St.

Tom's.

I see.

No, Tom Cruise is incredibly professional and also really nice to everyone on set.

I've only heard that.

I don't doubt that.

No, he is.

I'm going to stick up for Tom Cruise here.

He

was just great.

I was really impressed.

And every time I've done something with him, I've seen the same guy over and over and over again.

But Harrison, there's something about,

you know, I remember so clearly you weren't born yet, but when Star Wars came out, it was a cultural earthquake.

I had never seen, there was so much explosion of fuss about this movie.

And my brothers and I went and we saw it.

I had never seen anything look like that before.

I was on the, you say, edge of your seat, total edge of my seat, floored.

And then it kind of changed a lot of things.

It was such a, and Harrison Ford is the one that I think he popped in this way that maybe even Lucas didn't expect.

But like that first scene, I think in the bar, he pops.

And when he's bragging about the Millennium Falcon, and he's a wise ass, he popped the way Clark Gable popped 30 years before, the way Jimmy Cagney popped.

He just popped as, and that's the thing that's very cruel about movies.

Movies say this is the person.

That's right.

And it's Julia Roberts.

It's her.

And you can do everything you want.

And the camera will just say, nope, it's that one.

You're okay, but it's that one.

And that was, that's Harrison Ford.

And it's been his, I mean, our whole lives.

This is actually really perfect.

I've been thinking about this a lot because we watched Andor the last the last season of Andor.

Perfect.

Yes.

Oh, I love Andor.

I love Andor.

I love it.

I'm glad you've seen it.

I binged with my son.

We binged both seasons.

Hold on.

You can jump in here at one point.

We did this.

We binged both seasons with my wife, Diego Luna.

I love,

I'm very much passionately in love with Diego Luna.

I love that.

No, no, and I'm going to take this even further.

I'm having surgery to be able to have a child with Diego Luna.

It's very complicated.

Let me say this very painfully.

Very painfully.

They don't put you under for that one.

No.

Have you checked with him?

Is he even in on this?

I'm going to do this first.

Okay.

That's the idea.

Yeah, smart.

And it's been suggested: you're not the first one to say, hey, should you.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no.

I want to go to him with everything ready to, you know, so that's my choice.

This has been nine months of intense surgeries.

Well, so we did, did you do this?

We did Rogue One right after.

Yes.

And then we just started like all over again.

We just kept going.

That's next.

Oh, really?

We did.

We did.

That's living.

You want.

No, it feels good.

No, it feels good.

One day you'll have the money to live this kind of life.

You'll have the Disney Plus account.

I'll spend it all on the cruise to Moss.

That was your mistake.

You did the same thing.

I mean, I watched both seasons.

and I think it is, you know, I think my shows this year are Severance and Andor for just craftsmanship.

There's TV and then there's movies.

The wall has fallen between them.

Yes, technically movies.

No, they're so cinematic.

Like

I love a ride.

Yes.

And I feel like Andor did such a good job with the sets and the locations and the specificity of like, God, it just looked gorgeous.

And it broke my heart 35 times and it elated me 36 times.

uh i think were you saying you liked it because it like blurred the line between i loved that that writer creator is so talented yeah and all their performers are so amazing and as you said they created these worlds all of them seemed completely authentic it was true to itself meaning it would give you really bad news it would give you good news and that's everything a movie does so now that commercials are no longer a part of these streaming shows it's really the same magic yeah we used to go to movies because i'm I'm going to give you money not to show me a commercial.

You can show some shit up front, but once Star Wars starts, you're not going to 15 minutes in go, you know, we've got a new soap for the cracks and pits and everywhere in between.

Which, by the way,

I hate when they're graphic.

I hate when it's like, so you're like, I was sweating all over, even under my tit.

You're like, what is that?

Are you tired of tit odor?

But you know,

we're going to take a sidetrack here because those commercials are everywhere.

They are, and they say things like it's for pits and privates and well, assholes, too.

And you're like, we get it.

Yeah, we're okay.

You've said enough.

Do we used to have an ad for something like that here?

Lux the day.

Yeah, Lux Betet.

Lux Bidet.

Yeah, bidet is different.

A bidet is like the old, we're the only ones.

Americans are the only ones that use bidets.

We should have more bidets, I think.

But this, this whole, they got to come with a warning.

I'm watching basketball.

Yeah, go ahead.

And this lady's like, my tits reek.

And you're like, okay.

And then also, don't tell them.

Don't tell who.

Don't tell everybody else.

Our tits reek.

Like, what?

It's kind of weird.

But they double down on it, too.

They keep doubling down and they'll say, and you'll say, no, no, I really get it.

And then later in the ad, they'll say, and remember the taint.

That small area.

Inch to one inch and a half between genitals and assholes.

Yep.

When yours stinks.

And

I'm horrified.

What's happened?

I asked, just I was thinking about Harrison and I'm just tits for you.

I was like, dude, what's your tits like?

He's like, what?

No, I asked him.

He was like, I liked Andor so much.

We were in the middle.

I was like, have you seen Andor?

And he's like, what?

I was like, have you seen Andor?

He's like, what is that?

And I was like,

it's this thing where it's like, and he was like, no, I would never.

He's like, I would never watch it.

And I was like, right, of course not.

Like, you don't want to talk about this anymore at all.

You're Han Solo.

But when I watched, when I watched him again, well, because we're still in production for the show, we're like finishing up.

It was so surreal to see this like guy.

He's so deeply hot in Star Wars.

He's just so, he pops in that way.

And I cannot believe in my insane, goofy career that I get to work with this guy.

And

a couple Fridays ago, there was a really tender scene that we shot for season three.

That was just he and I.

And I stayed to like run lines with him while they were setting up the scene.

And it was a big, it was a big scene between our characters.

And

he just,

the whole crew was silent, which is what happens when it's like, they know it's a big scene.

And he's like coming into my character's office and he's sitting across like as far as Conan is.

And he walks in and he sits and he does this scene.

And it was like.

almost like, you know, in Oppenheimer when the blast actually goes off and they put on their glasses and it's like silent.

It was that.

And he was destroying.

He was like absolutely destroying the scene in every way.

Like every single line, he was weeping, he was joyful, he was all of those things.

But it was one of those moments where they had to come in and be like, okay, Jessica, you're like weeping.

So I don't know if you'd be weeping as the character.

I was like, no, this guy is giving me like, this guy is the best.

This guy is the best.

He's, he's the goat.

And I see a lot of great, I've seen a lot of great actors, but it was, it was one of those moments where I just felt like, no, this is actually like the greatest living actor, and this is someone that I get to work with.

But it was like being too close to a fire.

It was insane.

And I work with him all the time, but it was like chill, like I was getting chills while he was doing it.

And I think you'll know the scene when you see it, but it was like very like, what did I get to do in my life to be here to work with this guy?

It's insane.

Do you have the number of your surgeon?

Because I might want to give it a little bit of a turn.

Oh,

no, right?

And you're going to be away.

Anyway, turns out he's not that good.

There have been some infections.

It was crazy.

But, you know, what's interesting is I have learned, I've had the same feeling of how did this get to happen for me?

And I'm learning, I'm quite a bit older than you.

I've learned over time to just my grandfather, who was a

traffic cop in Worcester, Massachusetts in the 1920s and 30s.

He used to have this saying, he was kind of like W.C.

Fields when he was old.

He was really funny.

W.

C.

Fields, sorry.

Thank you.

I think one of the great comics.

My little chickadee.

He was always playing.

I know.

I know the Susie.

Sounds like chickadee.

Come along.

Can you bother me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm with you.

He worked with May West.

Everything I'm saying is digging this I'm old reference, but I do think people should know W.

W.C.

Fields because he might be one of my favorite comedians of all time.

And his stuff is as funny today as it was in the 30s, 40s.

And

amazing.

So anyway, he was this kind of had all these sayings and he used to say, take what you can get and ask for more.

Like he was going against the Catholic, I don't deserve this.

I shouldn't have this.

Oh, who me?

He was like, when something good comes your way, take it.

Yeah.

You know, and I think you've grab it and just take it because there's some trouble coming down the road for sure.

So just enjoy this.

We're all going to die.

Yeah, I have a way around that.

Hi, you have a surgeon.

Yeah, I have a surgeon.

Hold on.

I think I'm going to keep this

and put it on my board.

I'm going to write.

Do you mind if I write WC fields so I don't forget?

Yeah.

Cool.

Can I say just from what is this?

It's a calligraphy.

No, it's an ink pot.

It's a, you know, that's an expensive pen.

That's a nice pen.

It's not an expensive pen.

This is

a $20-something dollar pen, but I, which is, you know,

a big pen.

Can I try it?

Can I see it?

Yeah, I really love it.

Do you use this the most?

I draw and scribble all the time.

And I love that.

And it has little

cartridges.

Anyway, I should do a

Kaleko.

And this special pad.

Conan, stop it.

Inner voice not helping.

Inner voice too late.

Hey, I have a question for you.

I have a question for you, which is: there's this path, people like us that have this affinity for comedy, where you're going along, you're doing stuff, and then there's a hard right and a hard left.

Stand-up or improv.

I don't know about you because I think you'd be,

but you chose, I'm guessing you chose improv to the exclusion of, that's what I did.

I kind of knew.

I really love great stand-ups.

I admire what they do.

I'm fascinated by it.

I'm always telling John Mulaney, I don't know how you do that.

I really have great respect for them, but I always knew my thing is over here where I'm in scenes and I'm babbling in the moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have that too.

I like like if we were in school and it was like doing an exam and I had to do like an essay in an exam as opposed to like an ABC, like I would do an essay and just get like an A plus plus on it because I could like bullshit my way through and figure it out and just babble, babble, babble.

But I started in high school doing, doing improv because we had an improv team.

Like the layout of comedy sports is, or they used to just have high school teams like you would have a football team and then you would play whose line is it anyway against different it's so hard to make it competitive but also it was fake competitive it was fake competitive

it's more so you're just doing the short form style thing right but i loved um

acting in scenes i knew i wanted to be an actor yeah and then i Then I learned, oh, I have an improv team and this is a way I could go.

And then I just kind of stuck with that.

But I like the teams.

Like I like, you know, stand-up is very like isolated and in your head and you're working out bits and then you're presenting them.

And that's so vulnerable to me that it kind of scares me quite a bit.

And I do admire stand-ups, but with improv and sketch and then with acting, like I knew I wanted to do that.

And what I, I didn't know what the path was for that exactly because I didn't want to be like a lifelong sketch person, but being able to fold that into my acting technique is really helpful.

And so even at the daily show, you're,

I, I got that when I was 22.

So it felt like I was college, like in grad school, because I was learning so much.

And I didn't finish school.

And I was working with all these writers and field producers.

So we were, not only that, but then I was traveling, kind of doing that man on the street or sitting in someone's living room and interviewing them saying like, we should all eat babies.

Like, I don't know, stuff like that, like interviewing people, you know, face to face doing those field pieces, but that's a legitimate view.

We should all eat babies.

There's a lot of them and they're nutritious.

Yeah.

And yeah so the baby eaters i would like interview them but i learned and then we would have to go back and edit these things for a couple weeks to the taste of mostly one man which was john so you then i learned how to produce so it became a bit more amorphous where i didn't realize this but i was like co-producing and co-directing these little bits.

And so I learned so much about storytelling in that way.

It is great training if you're ever going to host a late night show.

I don't know if there are going to be more of those in the future, but if you're going to host something and interview people,

that is improv.

It's listening, responding.

Don't go negative.

Don't stop the flow.

Don't make it about you.

Well, no, I disagree with that.

Don't make it about you.

Jessica.

Jessica,

the one thing I've learned in this talking to you is that I'm an impressive guy.

But I do.

And I'm from El Cacho Nachos.

El Cacho Nachos.

I hear Peggy Hill Spanish from like KNA Hill, where it's it's like

but yeah, no, I acting when I'm in the zone is just reacting 100%.

And even with the daily shows, sometimes with a field piece, you can just get out with a look.

Like if I can just get out with like a

like a Jim Halpert, like

I love it.

You can say so much.

And so I really like, for me, acting is natural listening.

And Julia is perfect at that.

We're talking about, especially in Veep.

I mean, she did it in Elaine, as Elaine in Seinfeld.

She did it throughout her career, all these different shows, all these different things.

But, you know, she's always in it completely, 100%.

And it's commitment.

Just commitment.

I believe in commitment.

Commitment.

I hate half-assed bullshit.

I hate it.

And it works for some people.

I know.

Those are small.

Edwardo's watching.

What football match are you watching right now?

Come on, Edward.

We busted him recently.

Were you watching something?

I was watching something.

Let him watch it.

No, we're not.

It's great content.

Let him watch it.

He's got to listen to you guys talking.

But you know what?

We only knew because someone sitting next to him sold him out.

Commitment to the bit.

Commitment to the bit.

Or betrayal of a good friend.

Same diffs.

But I don't like like half-assed stuff.

I don't like cool comedy.

I don't like cool.

We were talking about that.

I like earnestness 100%.

And I've comedy sports was really earnest.

And that got, you know, it's not like UCB is cool.

Like, and I'm a UCB person, so it's totally fine.

But yeah.

But there is like sort of a punkness about UCB that's different than like groundlings and Second City.

Comedy's cards would get a lot of fun.

Goofiest dorkiest one.

It's so

why would it get

Mickey and it's kind of the Disneyland of it's clean.

A lot of church people would come to Comedy City.

It's clean.

It's really passive afterwards.

Yeah, truly, if you did communion, if you like said a curse word or something, you get a brown bag file.

Brown bag fell, the ref would put a brown bag in my face.

And then that reflects the colour.

But, and you know know what's funny is I used to think, like, because it was so not cool, especially coming up in like the UCB heyday, I was like, oh man, I do some comedy sports since I was in high school.

But I didn't learn anything.

Like, I was like, oh, this is just some bull bull that I do.

But no, I learned.

so much

teach you to be tight on what your tools are limited there.

Yeah, four minutes.

You play with different people.

Like stage time.

I mean, time in the cockpit is

the answer.

And the thing that when you couldn't use foul language taught you you had to be funny, you couldn't have have a crutch.

Parameters, yeah.

So now I can like act.

I mean, we say fuck on the show a lot, but

I can turn it on and turn it off.

And also that.

What's great about comedy sports is there's like this respect for the audience.

You want to give them like a really premium experience.

Whereas other things is like, hey, welcome.

We're going to do this.

We're going to do some makeum ups.

It's going to get suggestion.

But comedy sports is like, hello.

This is the thing that we're going to do.

Right.

Right.

And it teaches you like in order to satire something, you have to love it as opposed to satiring something and just coming from this like, look at this stupid show.

You know, it taught me earnestness

in a way that I'll continue to have forever.

You know, it's a good lesson.

I'm not afraid to try stuff.

Did you study theater at Cal City Long Beach?

No, no, I didn't.

I was doing Upright Citizens Brigade.

I like convinced my parents to let me go to Cal City Long Beach half, like part-time and then let me do UCB classes in comedy sports.

That's cool.

You know, it's funny.

You did exactly the right thing.

Which I made a presentation.

I think I made a PowerPoint presentation.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Mother, father, you know, click.

I was like, so this is the Mount Rushmore of Upright Citizens Brigade.

Amy Poehler, Matt Wall.

Like, I was like explaining to my like black parents from Ohio, like what this Upright Citizens Brigade thing was.

And at the time, it was like Aziz Ansari.

I'd see like Rob Hubel, Derek Comedy, which was Donald Glover's old, you know, I would see like Ben Schwartz, like all these really cool, funny people that everybody knows.

And I just was like, oh, this is where I need to be.

It was like people were standing.

It was so electric.

But you knew when you know something, you know.

And

I do think go to where they're doing the thing that you love, even if it means, okay, I'm getting paid 50 cents.

Oh, yeah.

But so I've got to do these other things to keep it going.

But go where they're doing the thing that you love.

And if that means you're not even in Santa's workshop, you're outside, but you're talking to some of the elves.

And every now and then you get to go, I'd paint that choo-choo train a little, you know, and whatever.

And then eventually you're in there and then eventually it's just being around yeah yeah it's being around and showing up so even then i remember i was doing the comedy sports and then i was doing you know ucb and i was i remember sleeping in my my my car like in between shows and and going to auditions and it was a really special time

i'm just laughing because i remember i have such a clear memory of taking this booking someone saw me do improv and i was maybe 22 23 and they said we want you to be in this infomercial and it was shot deep in the valley.

It was for a company that made music, that it was for an association of musical instrument salespeople.

And they wanted me to do, be one of the players.

So I drove, I had a terrible car that I bought at the airport.

It's called a 1977 Isuzu Opel that was literally falling apart.

And it had an iHeart My Poodle sticker on the back that I tried to get off.

And I scraped some of it off, and the bumper was coming with it.

And I'm like, forget it.

I'm just going to leave it on.

But I remember getting, knowing so little

that they said, yeah, you're going to do this thing and take care of your own makeup.

I didn't know what that meant.

So I went to a drugstore and bought one of those powder things with makeup on it.

And I remember getting up at four in the morning, driving forever east of LA,

like past mountains and stuff to find this place.

And this is before.

you could geolocate off a satellite or, you know, use your Apple maps or whatever.

So I had this big, thick book of maps called the Thomas Guide.

I I went way out there and I parked in the parking lot half an hour before I was needed and took out my one little puff.

And I'm looking at it.

My skin is not a perfect.

And I'm like, gloom, gloom.

And I went in, and I think if you looked at it now, look, look, they found a body and they made it look like it's talking.

But I did that because I thought, this is my way.

That's right.

This is my way.

Yeah, and it was that day, you know?

Also doing things that failing a lot of times.

Like, I did so much bad stuff.

Just to to

be able to.

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

Home run after home run.

Everybody loved it.

No,

no, but you had bad scenes.

But that is good to just stay connected to this has gone badly and it has gone well.

And that is always going to be the case.

And calibrating.

Like, you know what was nice, too, about the daily show is John, John would let me calibrate.

He would, you know, you worked in late night.

It's like, it goes up because we need it up, you know, and then we'll, we'll attack it the next day.

We'll do another show, you know,

one of those days, throw it, you know, throw it up.

So I learned that.

But then also I learned, oh, that didn't necessarily work.

Oh, that didn't.

But John wouldn't say anything.

He wouldn't like berate me.

He wouldn't send me notes.

And I'd had up until that point, a lot of comedy teachers who did.

He just sort of let me figure it out.

And he was just kind of the

teacher I needed

at that time.

It really worked for me.

Well, I don't agree with John.

I think berating has its,

it's how it's done.

And I think vicious notes work.

Vicious.

But I'm going to say passive aggression.

That is a wonderful long jokes about

how the sketch didn't work.

I have gone way over time with you because

you are intoxicated.

You're great.

You're just great to talk to you.

Intoxicant.

You are.

No, no, I'm saying, I'm saying this has been so.

Effortless and fun and natural.

And then I'm, I put a red light up like 10 minutes ago.

Like, well, this this is usually.

Oh, that's what that is.

I saw that.

That was a long time.

That was more than 10 minutes ago.

I think it was.

We went way over.

And it's because

this is what I experienced when we did that thing together.

I was just like, oh,

her, more time with her, please.

Please.

It's getting.

I'll come back anytime.

I'll come back anytime.

More time with her, please.

More time with her, please.

I don't think it's crazy.

More time with her, please.

I don't want you.

Next time we talk, I have to talk to you about you are quite tall.

And I'm wondering, that's got to have influenced your it's crazy you said, let's talk about it real quick.

It's crazy you said that to me because you're like the tallest guy.

I'm the tallest man that ever was.

When I saw you in person, I was like, oh my God, he's tall.

You know, and it was nice, though.

It was more comforting.

Is your wife tall?

She's tall.

She's not, she's not like me.

That would be, that would be wrong.

I don't know why it would be wrong.

Are your kids tall?

My son is quite tall.

He's a little taller than me.

Wow.

Yeah, but we lived near a nuclear reactor when he was coming on.

And he has super strength.

He comes in his PowerPoint.

Yeah.

And

I'm scared of him.

Yeah, you should be.

He turns green when he gets mad.

Was there something you were going to say about me being tall?

No, I was going to say it.

I have heard women that are tall say, oh, it was awkward for me earlier on.

And I think that's too bad because I, I just, I think own it.

It must be, you know, own it.

If you're taller, oh, you had to grow into it.

Yeah.

People, we have these beauty standards based on what's repeated in the media.

And we develop this view based on where we live about the way people are supposed to look.

And whatever you're exposed to is what people think is right.

And so you're like a six foot tall black lady.

You're like, oh, I look different than what's on TV.

And so you develop like this, you know, normal 13, 14 year old complex, which is what I had.

Yeah.

And I was tall.

I was tall early and like 13.

And it did.

But it, but it informed so much of who I am.

It, It made me, I don't know what it did, but it's something that as I got older, I was really happy, especially I knew I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid.

I didn't see a lot of tall,

tall actresses.

Maybe Sugourney Weaver.

I feel like Queen Latifah might be pretty tall, but there's not like a ton.

No.

So it always felt like.

And it used to be like a death sentence for an actress

because it meant that the male lead, like Alan Ladd, had to stand on six apple boxes.

Oh my God.

One of those stories.

Harrison's always like, I used to be on contract at this studio, and I made $100 a week.

Oh, trust me, we had him here and he was bitching.

He's not shut up.

He's not over it.

He's not Jerry Tchaikovsky.

Jerry Tchaukovsky was the guy that told him he needed to get an Elvis haircut.

And he was like, Jerry Tchaukovsky.

I'm like, yeah, that sounds like a rough day in 1968.

But I think it all went your way.

I will say, it made me like, in comedy, like, God, that man is not over it.

It's funny that you guys heard about it.

But guess what?

We all have our stuff.

That's right.

It doesn't matter who you are.

It's Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford.

I don't care, you know, Tom Hanks.

You pick the people at the very top.

I mean, presidents are like, God damn, at the time that, you know, Iowa didn't go my way.

Like, you were the president.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But they don't, no one does.

Yeah.

But I think with comedy, it made me feel like equal to men that I was playing against.

Like, it always made me feel not as boopy because I was like, I don't know how to describe it, like, not as cute in a way that I'm like, I'm just

baby, doing baby things.

It was like, even though that's how I got on the daily show, it was like, I felt like, oh, I'm taller than these guys.

So I'm just going to, it informs my presence.

Well, that's the way you hold yourself.

You hold yourself as someone who's

comfortable in you, you know, comfortable in your body, comfortable in your skin, like comfortable being you.

And so to me, that's the key to everything.

And the flip side's true, too.

Like someone like Sabrina Carpenter is like, yeah, I'm whatever she is, 5'1.

She's like, yeah, that's, and she.

That's who she is.

Yeah.

that's who I am, and no one's complaining.' So, um, have you ever interviewed her?

Like, I would love to see you guys standing next to me.

No, that would be fun.

That's a good one.

So, you don't want me to interview her, you just want me to stand next to you.

Like, it's a circus attraction.

Come see Sabrina Carpenter stand next to the wonder freak, Corner Bayon, very small versus very tall, the singer and the guy with the zinger.

Okay,

wow, that was a good one.

Okay, hand scene.

Oh, no, love it.

It was absolutely a joy talking to you.

Thank you.

Come on back.

Say hi to everyone at Shrinking and thank you for sharing your glow with us.

Thank you.

Intoxicating.

Intoxicating.

Thank you.

Uncrustables are the best part of the sandwich.

I mean, we've been thinking that.

Why does hell say it, right, Sona?

Yeah.

Like, who needs a crust?

You've been saying that since the day I met you 15 years ago, Sona.

You said, who needs the crust?

And I said, first of all, my name's Conan.

You know,

anyway, it's the perfect grab-and-go for all of life's moments with unbeatable soft bread and a variety of flavors, like, well, peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and strawberry jam.

Hello, peanut butter and raspberry spread, and so much more.

No mess, no prep, just thaw and eat.

Yep, get them in the freezer aisle today.

Summertime, I love to hang out with my pals, my bros.

You know me, right?

Yeah, I know you.

And when I think of you, I think of bros.

Yeah.

A bunch of us get on our hogs, our choppers.

Yep.

We go up the coast, driving around, cruising with my gang.

It's prime time to gather the whole crew, and it's Miller time.

That's what I call it.

Since 1975, Mirror Light has been the perfect way to stock up your core when you're finally together again.

The taste you can depend on made with simple ingredients, not fancy stuff, no chives, no cheddar.

Right.

Malted barley for rich, balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color.

It's no wonder it's the original light beer since 1975 and still iconic 50 years later.

Man, I can't believe it's the 50th anniversary of Miller Light.

So many memories.

Oh, I'm at the Louvre, Miller-Light, traveling around.

I'm one of those little trolley car things that you just one guy pushes up and down, up and down, and it goes on.

On the train tracks?

Yeah, and I've got my Miller Light with me.

With your crew.

With my whack pack.

Yeah.

My homies.

Merrill Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to to mirrorlight.com slash Kona to find delivery options near your.

You can pick up some Mirror Light, but in much anywhere they sell beer.

If they don't sell Miller Light, they're not selling beer.

Cheers to 50 Years of Miller Time.

Hey, I raised my Miller Light to you, Miller Time.

Celebrate response by Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 crabs per 12 ounces.

Look it up.

This is a bit of an older post on Reddit, but a user on Reddit named Ern Payow

did a replica of our studio and all of us built out of Lego.

Oh, that's so cool.

We're going to bring it up here on the screen, and you can go to At Team Cocoa Podcast or, of course, watch this on YouTube.

It's very good, but it's very accurate.

Look at this.

Oh, my God.

It's got Eduardo's cap.

It's got Blai and his prematurely gray hair.

This is really good.

It's got my need to be heard.

Yeah.

But somehow, for some reason, your Haley Bieber smoothie is on my table.

Oh, it is.

Green chairs.

This is this is really good.

Awesome.

I love this.

This person's very talented.

How do you get Conan Lego hair like that?

That's perfect.

Where does that come from?

Is it possible that he manufactured this hair?

Because look at Sona's hair.

It's actually made of the same stuff that Sona's hair is made of.

No, what?

No, that's a compliment.

Your hair is very,

it's full and thick and very made of plastic.

Lego-like.

You're wearing the same exact color jacket.

I know.

I'm wearing a brown jacket.

And look, my t-shirt.

This is random.

I didn't know we were doing this today.

I am wearing the exact same color scheme.

Wow.

How do we get Lego to actually make this?

Or get this guy to send us one of these or three of these.

Yeah, we need to have this.

I want one of these.

Well, okay, all right.

I love Lego.

I know.

I do too.

I would like one as well, but I think it's a little greedy to go from how can we get one to how can we get nine?

I said three.

Eduardo has a hat on.

Yeah, that's cool.

Nice touch.

I think this is fantastic.

I love how artistic our fans are.

Yeah.

I think it's this shows a lot of uh ingenuity.

It's so good.

Look, it's great.

There's more pictures too of you.

Scroll through, there's some close-ups and stuff.

Okay.

I feel like you guys are big Lego people.

I love Lego.

And I've built some impressive

Lego stuff.

My son and I, I think it was during COVID.

I built, what did I build?

I built a like a Range Rover, Land Rover kind of thing

out of Legos and my son built like a Bugatti.

Like we just got these two kits because it was, it was COVID, man, and we built them.

I got that Aston Martin in COVID, that Lego Aston Martin.

You know, the James Bond Aston Martin.

That's right.

What do you guys, do you guys just like, after you build it, you're like, okay.

Then it's a display piece.

It's nice to have out.

Okay.

Then it's a real chick magnet.

Oh, is it?

Yeah.

Oh, I've gotten so.

Oh, look at it.

It's just a little drawing.

Oh, my God.

The doodle.

Look at the drawing.

Oh, my God.

A dual.

look what it's look what's in front of sona her phone look in front of on sona's phone look at that she's playing like what is that candy crush or something i don't know what that and i have a coffee a big tea mug or you that's your tea mug that's oh my god wait wait a minute we just i i didn't even think about this there's a bubble of me talking about my lego aston mart

and look how evil you look

Look how you have you have your malintentions.

People say I look like that actor Michael Stuhlbarg, and that does look like Michael Stuhlbarg.

Who's that actor?

He's, you'd know him.

He's in Cone Brothers movies.

He looks like my older brother.

He's the dad in Call Me By Your Name, isn't he?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah, I see it.

Yeah.

Oh, look at this.

There's

Adam.

Adam's just evil.

No.

It's like bizarre.

Adam's like, I don't see.

How is this?

We're not earning enough.

How do we monetize that?

This is great.

You got to check this out.

Go online, look at these pictures.

It's really beautiful.

We should try and acquire at least one or two, whatever, if we can.

I just want to make sure I get one for my own.

All right.

Well, I just meant for display here at our Larchmont offices so that all the talent visiting it can see it.

Look at the movie.

Look at us.

We're so cute.

What if we come to find out this is all just 3D design and it doesn't really exist?

It might not exist.

It could not exist.

Hey, maybe we don't exist.

That's

likely.

We're probably three years away from them taking the essence of this podcast, running it through AI, and then generating deep fakes that are us.

Yeah.

And they eliminate us.

We're turned into some kind of grouting for a bathroom.

Wait a minute.

Blaise wearing the Back to the Future clothes.

Did you notice that?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I thought those were muscles.

No.

I thought he just was totally ripped.

Those are weird girls.

Sona's got a French tuck.

Sona, what's going on with your?

I don't know.

I do French tuck.

I have a French tuck right now.

I'm French tucking.

This guy gets all the details.

He knows what's up.

Blaze dress.

Hey, you know what he's missing?

One thing.

My prominent eye vein.

Sorry.

Why would you want to make a note about it?

Oh, look at my little smirk.

Oh, you look like an asshole.

I look like a bully.

You know what I look like Scott Farkas.

Yes, you do.

In the Christmas.

What is it?

Christmas story.

Christmas story.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Look at that.

I'm going to do cry.

Oh, my God.

That's cool.

That's great.

We do have really great fans.

They're very creative.

We have the most creative fans.

And thank you.

This gentleman's name?

Well, his username is Ern Powell.

And sorry it took us long.

Could be a man, could be a woman.

It could be.

Sorry, it took this long.

Who knows?

I mean, Legos is probably a man.

Sorry, it took us this long to get to it.

Yeah.

I was just alerted.

He said, smash the Legos out of bitterness.

I spent forever on that, and they never responded to me.

He's moved on.

He's now making Duck Dynasty Legos.

At least he'll get back to me.

And listeners, you can go to at Team Coco Podcasts on Instagram and see this or the YouTube page.

Well, thank you very much.

Very cool.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Session, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Liao.

Theme song by The White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

Got a question for Conan?

Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

It too could be featured on a future episode.

You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/slash Conan.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

This is Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast, the promo.

And in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why you should check out the show.

I, the host Scott Auckerman, have a light-hearted conversation with famous celebrities like John Hamm, Allison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Leone, Bob Odin, Kirk, just to name a few.

Things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well.

Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians, as well as some new hilarious voices.

Comedy Bang Bang the Podcast.

Listen every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.

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