Werner Herzog Returns

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Love the Naked Gun franchise.

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What?

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Hi, my name is Marna Hartzog.

And I feel elevated, I feel weightless about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

You know what?

You should.

That chair you're sitting in actually is attached to a scale.

And

you lost most of your body weight as you became my friend.

Um, I don't know, but let's hope so.

Let's hope that I'm going to dwindle down to 20 pounds or something like that.

Fall is here, hear the yell.

Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Well, hello there.

Welcome to Connor Brian Needs a Friend.

I gave it a little extra today.

Well, hello there.

Yeah, you did.

Sonom Obsession.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Matt Gorley.

Hi.

Hi.

We've got much to talk about today.

What was it?

You just said before we got on mic, talk about that.

Yeah.

And I said, sure, but I didn't hear what you said.

It was that Sona and I did, I'd have to pretend to be interested in your lives.

Here we go.

Hold on.

Hey, this is interesting.

I understand that you guys went off on

summer vacation.

No, not that.

What?

We did voices for a cartoon.

I forgot which thing I'm supposed to be using.

Oh, my God.

Cloning.

I can do this.

I can do this.

Give me a second.

Hey, you guys had an opportunity recently.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

That's exciting.

I want to hear all about it.

Are your eyeballs painted on your eyelids and you're sleeping right now?

I just drew a face on a shovel.

I left hours ago.

It's funny because Sona and I never want to plan what we talk about.

And he always wants to plan what we talk about.

And then we finally give him something and he fucking forgets.

Exactly.

Because it involved your lives.

And I can't channel the enthusiasm.

No, I am.

Here's what I've heard.

All I know is that something was offered to me, that I turned it down.

Of course, it never got to me.

Yeah.

And that you guys took it.

So tell me about this adventure you had doing the thing that I said no to.

We talked so much about what it was and what we did, and you only remember it from the angle of how it involves you.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

My own self-interest is my North Star.

It's my guiding light.

If I'm lost in the woods, I'll just remember who I am, and that will lead me home.

When I hike in the woods, I don't bring a compass, I bring a selfie,

a headshot, and I just take it out every now and then, and it leads me north.

All of this is true.

Yeah,

I'm lost, and I don't know what to do.

I can't see the sun.

Which way is home?

Oh, wait a minute.

I've got a

headshot from 1998

from NBC.

Is this you talking about?

Yeah, let's see here.

There it is.

What a handsome fella.

So young, full of promise.

Oh, it's leading me to the future.

Tell me about this gig.

It was a gig that I turned down.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Do you want to tell it or?

You tell it.

So

we both got an email from a show on Disney called Big City Greens, which is an awesome animated show.

It's a kid show.

It's a kid's show.

And the thing is, when you have young kids,

trust me, I did this.

I went through this phase when my kids were two, three, four, five, that age.

did so many voiceovers for shows that they were really into.

But what happened is because it's animation, it takes a while

and then for it to come out.

And by the time it would come out, I'd go, hey, guys, I just did gilligaloo patrol.

And aren't you excited?

They'd be like, what are you talking about, man?

They're rolling a joint.

What are you talking about?

My son's shaving in the corner with an electric razor.

What?

No one watches that anymore.

That was last year.

So I think four times I said yes to things that by the time it came out, my kids were on to the next show.

Hey, guys, I taped a Caillou seven years ago.

It's finally out.

It's the one where Caillou gets a wig.

I found the cure for his bone cancer.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

Caillou is a fucked up kid.

Oh, my God.

Caillou.

Go check out Caillou.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

Caillou.

Have you seen Caillou?

I don't know what it is.

Has anyone here seen Caillou?

Someone jump on Mike who's seen Caillou.

Go.

Yes.

Am I on Mike?

Yeah.

Yes.

Caillou's a French

bald guy wearing a yellow shirt.

He looks like he's lacking in

Caillou.

I'm going to say this with all kindness.

And not much happens on Caillou, and he seems rather meek.

That's Caillou!

So he's just French Charlie Brown?

Oh, I was going to say French Arnold.

No, I think he's a French kid who's...

Got an autoimmune disorder.

But the point is,

Caillou is French for please fucking help me.

There's no protein.

There's no protein.

My body can't process protein.

It's just part of the sentence.

Can you help me, please?

Caillou, help me.

Can you help me, please?

Anyway, I would do things like that, and then it would come out, and my kids didn't care anymore.

So it does take forever.

If I had young kids, I would know.

What's the show called?

Big City Greens.

Big City Greens.

I would know about this show, but because my kids are now, you know, older than I am through some trick of time,

yeah, I don't know this show.

Well, it's great.

And when they did send us the email offering it to us, they were like, we originally offered this to Conan, but he couldn't do it.

So now we're coming to you.

I could have done it.

I have plenty of time.

Oh, okay.

Does it sweeten the case anymore that Tom Hanks has done it?

Yeah, but Tom takes a lot of shit I wouldn't do.

I was offered the first Toy Story.

I was offered the part of Woody and I turned it down.

This was a long time ago.

And I was just like,

Splash I turned down.

Oh.

Yeah.

Forrest Gump I turned down.

That makes more sense.

Yeah.

Tom mostly has taken things.

They saw me and they said

they wrote the character for you specifically.

They saw me running with braces on

and I had a weird buzz cut.

I did add those braces when I was a kid.

Did you really?

No, damn.

No.

Did you?

I didn't have braces on my teeth, though.

But wait, why did you have braces on your legs?

I had the pigeon toes.

I don't know even if that's the right term.

They lied to you?

That's not what you're your legs as crooked as question marks.

Yeah, that's what they said in four.

My dad used to pick me up out of the crib by the bar and swing me upside down.

Yeah.

Did you have rickets or something?

Did they know?

I just had

no citrus growing up.

I had feet that turned inward, and now they work too well, and I walk like a duck.

Like my feet turn out too much.

Jesus, I didn't realize I was working at a freak show.

Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry.

Is that inconsiderate?

It's all coming from you.

It's a quite a bit.

That's nice.

Sorry.

I don't realize.

6'4.

190 pounds of muscle is a freak show.

I think that's the technical term for Adonis.

Let's move on.

We recorded these characters for Big City Greens, and you're right.

It's not going to come out for like at least, I think, a year and a half.

Yeah.

That long?

Like a while.

Yeah.

She said 2027.

So we can.

You're going to be sending this to your kids in law school.

You're going to be saying, hey, I'm sending you something.

In what used to be FedEx is now called Glip Glorp.

Oh, you think the boys are going to law school.

Well, I think they're going to have to.

No other lawyer will take it.

We've got to go to law school ourselves.

Right, Mikey?

Right, Charlie.

Who says we ain't smart?

All right, here we go.

I love your boys.

You know that.

I know.

I love life itself.

I'm the one who brought it up.

So that's me.

My guest today is a legendary filmmaker who's made over 70 films, including Grizzly Man and Fitzcaraldo.

He now has a new book titled The Future of Truth.

I am thrilled.

I'm in awe of this gentleman.

Werner Herzog, welcome.

I want to thank you for being here.

And I say that

this is my second take.

As a director, how do you respond when an actor demands multiple takes?

Oh, I don't care.

It's movies.

And actually, I do not shoot many takes, even though some of it is very, very complex.

I just finished a feature film with the two Mara sisters, Kate Mara and Rooney Mara.

They're fantastic, yeah.

They're fantastic.

I mean, it's something you have never seen ever before or after.

They speak in in unison, move in unison, and it is extremely high precision to speak in unison, have the same emotion in unison, and yet I didn't have more than two, three, maximum, maybe four

takes.

Incredible.

Last time you were here, you were saying you were going to, you started production on this film.

Yeah, yeah, it has been dormant for a long, long time.

And

it's wonderful that I finally did it.

And it's also related to writing, to my writing.

I wrote my memoirs,

every man for himself and God against all.

And there's a chapter about

towards the end of the book, there's a chapter about unfinished business.

And I speak about unfinished business, a story that I carried in me that I've

partially encountered myself

with two twin sisters who spoke in unison.

And these sisters

not only speak in unison, they move in unison in the choreography.

They fall in love with the same man, they have the same dreams, and they make the same Freudian slip of tongue at the same moment.

So the film is called after one of these slips of tongue, Bucking Fastard.

In corner.

You bucking fastard.

I don't even remember that.

I want to use that.

Eduardo, you bucking fastard.

And the bucking fastard, by the way, is Orlando Bloom, who is absolutely wonderful.

Wow.

And they had fallen in love with him.

And

after they become so insistent, he

has to go to court for a restraining order.

And the judge allows something that is completely unprecedented in common law in England or Ireland, where I actually shot it, to have two persons testify at the same time

in the same witness stand both sisters in the witness box and they speak in unison and they shout across that they get completely excited and in panicky and jabbing with their fingers at the plaintiff the

Orlando Bloom yeah Orlando Bloom and they shout in unison he's lying don't you hear that he's lying he's lying under oath the bucking bastard is lying and they both make the same slips in.

Same slip of tongue, yeah.

When is this going to be out?

Can you screen it for us right now in this booth?

Or at least act it out.

I could tell you the story, act it out.

I just did part of it.

It was great.

No, but it's still not finished.

Yes.

But I have another film that is finished.

It's called Ghost Elephants.

And Ghost Elephants are shot in Africa and part in the United States at the Smithsonian and in some scientific labs.

And this will be shown in Venice

Film Festival, end of August.

Incredible.

Piss the world premiere there and then tell right.

I just read your latest book.

This is a testament to your productivity,

which is off the charts.

You've written a book called The Future of Truth, which is a bunch of just fascinating essays about what is the nature of truth and where are we headed and in this post

strange information age that we live in.

But I noticed that at the very end of the book, I'm just looking at the dust jacket as if I didn't, yeah, I don't need to read your bio, but it said something that struck me, which is you've done over 70 documentaries and feature films.

It's probably more than 80 by now.

Since we've been in this room.

You ran out and directed seven movies while we were talking.

We're in one of them.

Yeah, exactly.

But okay, over 80.

I'm going to go go with over 80.

You should talk to your publisher.

I think one of the reasons that I get nourishment from being around you is that you are such an inquisitive person in your books and in your writings.

You can't mention an obscure tribe or place on earth that you haven't been to.

You'll say, and I've been there, by the way.

I was there to shoot this film or I was there to do this project.

So before this is over, I'd like to have your frequent flyer miles, if I could, because you're everywhere.

I was fascinated to learn that you don't engage in social media, you don't have a cell phone, and I think you

lead a richer life than most people I've encountered, if not everybody.

Well, it's hard to compare.

Each one of us has the privilege of living

to live your life, to live your life, to live your life.

We are here only once,

so we better do something decent, do something meaningful.

Whatever it is, at the end of the day,

doesn't really matter.

But I have lived with great intensity, with great,

how shall I say, also great dangers,

great challenges.

And it has been wonderful so far.

I can't complain.

I don't know how you survive without a cellphone in the modern era.

Easily, easily.

I enjoy it.

I do read.

But in fact,

I had to get myself a cell phone.

Technically, I have one now.

Because what happened

in Dublin, I was filming at the train station, parked my car at the adjacent

train station building.

And I couldn't get out of it because it would open only with an application on a cell phone.

Yes, you could not pay cash.

You could not pay with a credit card.

You had to download an app of this parking lot.

And then, because it would register your license plate, the place where you parked in the duration of your time in parking.

So, I couldn't get out of it.

Yeah.

And I was stuck.

And for

things like that, I do have a cell phone.

I will tell you something.

But it's always switched off, sorry.

No, no.

There's a sign of our modern times is

we have in my home two young kittens.

My wife and I went out and we had heard that, oh, you can get a cat litter box that is self-cleaning.

So we got it and we unpack it and we, it got very good reviews.

We put it in the room with our two kittens.

And it said to operate this, you need an app on your phone that you need to download.

So there's an app on our phone

for cat litter.

A cat litter box.

And it tells us.

When the cats went to the bathroom, which of the two cats went, because it knows the two of them separately by their, I guess, weight differential, what they did did in there.

What?

Yes, and then they ate.

Yeah, what they ate.

It analyzes the feces.

It tells you what they ate.

And then I think it sends the feces back in time.

It's insane.

And I now have a new rule, which is I will not, I don't want to buy a product that requires me to have an app.

I think that's a crime.

I think it should be a federal crime to demand that, oh, I just, this is really nice.

I bought these socks.

You need to download the app.

It tells you if it's on the right foot or the left foot.

It tells you what your temperature of your body is.

It gives you alerts about how the sock is feeling.

It's insane.

And too much disinformation comes in through it and people get addicted and they cannot take their eyes off and keep scrolling, scrolling.

And of course everything, everything that comes in via your cell phone or your laptop, emails or whatever, you have to distrust.

You have to doubt.

Every single mail asking you for, let's say,

your information for making a money transfer is probably

something fraudulent going on.

Every male that you receive, or let's say young girls receive mails from a young,

handsome young man, maybe behind it is a predator

who is 60.

pretending to be a 70 and a half years.

Looking at me, I didn't.

That was an innocent thing.

That was an innocent thing I was doing.

Well, this gets us to this book, which I very much enjoyed.

It's called The Future of Truth.

Again, I don't know how you're able to make over 80 documentaries, films, constantly travel the globe and generate, I think you've generated two books since this new book, which will be coming out soon.

But you're talking about truth.

What is truth?

What are we talking about?

about when we talk about truth and how unattainable it is.

And at the same time, you make the point that it's the absolute truth of any issue is impossible to determine, but we must strive for it.

The striving is the important part.

Well, nobody knows what truth is.

We do not know.

And there was a survey among philosophers, 2,000 or so of them,

and scientists, mathematicians, and trying to get a definition of truth.

Nobody could come up with it.

There's no way.

There are different schools of thinking, schools that link truth very much with reality and facts.

But the question immediately would arise, what is reality?

Am I real?

Am I just a rumor sitting here?

Am I an imposter to try to persuade you it's me?

However, it's somehow innate, it's inborn.

in us that some sort of search for truth that makes us distinct from the from the cows in the field.

And in all my work, whoever is an artist, a filmmaker, is always confronted with a question of truth.

It's something very, very deeply inherent in us.

And I always have struggled with it, always have tried to define it and find a deeper stratum of truth in filmmaking, in writing.

And it makes it meaningful what I do.

And yet I do not claim that I am in possession of the truth.

However, I have found ways to approximate what we think may be true, so that's something deeply known in us.

Because I'm sometimes changing facts, I modify facts, but not for the sake of misleading you or cheating you.

I do it for the sake of arriving at a deeper stratum of truth.

And I can simply explain it with Michelangelo, who built, now who did the sculpture of the the Pieta in Saint Peter's.

The Virgin Mary with her son taken from the cross in her lap.

When you look at the son, he's a thirty three year old man, tormented, uh and the mother is only fifteen or maybe seventeen.

So my question now comes, did Michelangelo try to cheat us or give us fake news?

Of course he didn't.

He wanted to, by modifying facts, got us into a deeper insight into the very nature of Jesus Christ, the man of sorrows, and into his mother, the Virgin.

So that's the way I think.

But he could have depicted Mary

being 20, 30, 40 years older in that moment.

Sure, yes.

And that might have lined up more with chronologically what's happening in that moment, but it would have not arrived, it would not have had the emotional impact, which is truthful, truthful,

had he not altered their ages.

Yeah, sure.

And of course,

would he have shown the Virgin Mary as, let's say, a 55-year-old woman,

he would have created what I call the accountant's truth.

There's such a thing like fact-based accountant's truth, which

is a term that, again, is not

completely applicable to these things.

But I do believe that he showed us something very, very deep in the emotional context.

Yes.

It's always something that

is among all the crazy facts and implausible things.

Emotions are always, strangely enough, are always truthful.

And I describe a case I made, a film called Family Romance LLC.

In Japan, there's this company that

an agency that

rents out friends or family members.

I am familiar with this.

You have familiar,

you can rent.

It's to deal with the

problem of loneliness, and you talk about this in the book.

You can rent a family.

Exactly.

And

the family is fake, but the emotions are truthful.

And that's a significant thing.

Or, for example, you have an opera, which I describe in the book,

and opera

stories

are sometimes completely incredible and

strange and wild, and

completely exaggerated out of context of any credibility and plausibility.

And yet, with the power of music, the emotions of the audience, the emotions that we feel are completely truthful.

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Hey, football season coming up.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

Do you have a football team you like?

I mean, I grew up a Raiders fan.

My brother was really into it, but now I'm a Rams fan because I like any team that's in LA.

I don't.

I'm from Boston, so it's Patriots all the way.

Is it?

It's got to be Patriots.

Love it, though.

I always get excited from tailgates to a watch party, celebrating all season long means more moments with the coolest people in your life.

You know, I get my crew together when we watch football.

Because they love football as much as I do.

Coolest guys.

Yeah.

They'll come in their little cutoff midrip bearing t-shirts.

Rodman, Greg, Rob Lazebnik.

We all have a blast.

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I didn't.

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In the book, you break down the plot of an opera.

It's the most insanely implausible

and how people are posing as other people and fleeing, but then bumping into each other in a cave a thousand miles away, but then marrying each other accidentally, but then having kids who then, I mean, it just, it goes and goes and goes, but you're right when the music is added.

Yeah.

And there's a power.

I mean, how many times have we broken down the lyrics to a rock and roll song that we love, a rock and roll anthem, and you just look at the lyrics and you think, well, this is ridiculous.

But if the band is playing it and you're hearing that recording, you think this is an elemental truth in our lives, you know, that and

we should have sugar poured on us.

And we should all have sugar poured on us.

That's a rare occasion where I actually read the text and I think the text holds up too.

And you see, Kerman, it's the opera is a transformation of an entire world into music.

And then you achieve it.

And as you mentioned, I mean, the story describing La Forza del Destino, the force of destiny.

It starts with a young lover who is actually an Inca prince entering at night through the window of his beloved.

And the father,

an aristocrat, has just left and hears some commotion or some noise, returns, corners the intruder who wants to who has drawn his pistol because he thinks he's attacked.

But he recognizes the father, throws his pistol away to show that he has no bad intention.

The pistol hits the ground, discharges, and hits the father through the heart and kills him.

So that's only the beginning.

That's the first action of the play.

It's just the first action.

And it's the most reasonable thing that happens in the opera.

It just goes and goes and goes.

Yes,

it gets wilder and wilder, and

yet there is a beauty about it.

The beauty of, and in the joy of, by the way, the joy of stories, the joy of storytelling.

When I modify things, of course, I would let the audience know either the story is so implausible it cannot I did a film in Kuwait when everything was set on fire before the first Kuwait war.

All the oil wells were on fire and the commentary at the beginning explains that this was shot on a planet in our solar system.

Meaning we as an audience know it cannot have been shot on Pluto or on Mars or on Jupiter.

It must have been filmed here.

But the world that you see is not recognizable anymore.

There's 60 minutes of images where you cannot recognize our planet anymore.

It's not embellishing.

It's in a way modifying things in order to enter into a deeper truth, into some sort that elevates.

What I took away from the book was we all do this.

It's in us.

There's something called an Irish fact, which is when the Irish get going on a story,

they use Irish facts, which are not, no, this is not factually correct.

But when

a person such as myself, who's 100% genetically Irish and steeped in whatever that is, good and bad, is, and when I'm telling a story, the worst thing that you can do is step in and go.

Well, no, Conan, stop.

Hold on.

No, no, no.

You spent $18.

You said $17.

It was $18.

And this is going out to you, my beloved.

wife, Liza.

She will hold me to account on some of the facts sometimes.

And I'll look at her like, the facts don't matter in this story.

I know that I'm switching things out left and right, but it's a really good story.

And it is getting to some moment that feels like it's the truth to me.

More truthful than the sheer facts.

Yes.

That's the beauty about it.

That's the beauty about storytelling.

The beauty about invention.

The beauty about the invention somehow

enters your heart and enters your dreams, but

not your books of the accountant.

Well, I think that's what you're talking about throughout the book is that emotions get us to a truth sometimes that facts cannot deliver.

And we live in this world right now where people are constantly contesting.

This is a fact.

No, that's fake news.

What's real?

What's not real?

We have deep fakes.

We have AI.

We're constantly debating whose reality are we going to use, which is the real reality.

But I do think there are moments where everyone can look at something and the emotion they feel about it delivers the real truth.

Yeah, but you have to be careful about it because

when you look, for example, at Germany in the late 20s, early 30s,

and when Hitler came to power, it was this emotional.

That's true.

So you have to be very, very careful.

No, it's not unfailing, but it's...

Just be suspicious, remain suspicious.

And you see, I see today 10-year-olds who very casually tell me, oh, don't open this here.

That's

an attempted phishing, or what they call it.

And I look at it.

Yes, and they say, yeah, look at this here and look at that here.

Just put it into junk.

And they deal with it with great ease.

They've grown up with it.

They've grown up.

Yes, younger people.

Even the generation of, let's say, the 20, 30-year-old

who also grew up with it don't have this kind of ease and nonchalance about

separating things and being suspicious.

It's a little bit like with prehistoric men.

When they were out roaming around and

hunting and gathering, they would gather berries and they would gather mushrooms.

But I'm sure they were suspicious about things and they would not pick the poisonous mushroom or the poisonous berry.

They had a natural

acquired suspicion about things and it was so natural that we can certainly assume that they did not hate nature.

They didn't hate nature.

They just knew how to navigate.

And it's the same thing, you don't have to hate the internet and the cell phone and

whatever is coming at you in these new media.

You just have to maintain a complete level of suspicion.

Truth is not like

a point somewhere far out in the distance, like a light, something

translucent, something

which is far out there,

which you can never reach.

It's more a process of searching for it, approximating and having doubts, going

wrong routes and then recalibrating your way.

That's what I have done all my life.

And knowing that I will never get at the very, very truth, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

The search itself.

The search is the point.

The search is the point.

Not giving up the search.

And could I have the book?

Because the very last chapter I wish.

This was your book, but you know what?

It's not.

The publisher sent a...

But I have it.

You have it.

Good.

They sent us, I have your copy at home, your paperback, but to have a hardback here on the table, they sent us, I think there's a

this is pornography they sent us.

Very good, by the way.

Fantastic.

There's a picture of Fabio here.

That is the book.

Oh, this is the book.

The cover.

The cover is correct.

But you see the.

What did they put here?

This is the great degeneration, how institutions decay and economies die.

Don't worry about these things.

Let them decay.

But you see, I just recorded it in

a

studio, and it will be out as an audio book

at the same time with the printed version.

And it has a last chapter, The Future of Truth.

In the future, the chapters are 10 pages, 15 pages, or whatever.

The very last chapter is only two lines long, The Future of Truth.

And it reads,

Truth has has no future, but truth has no past either.

But we will not, must not, cannot give up the search for it.

End of the book.

Yeah, no, it's

it's the striving is probably what it's ultimately all about.

It's interesting because I'm thinking about the way you live your life.

We talked earlier about how it must help you that you've kept things simple.

You avoid the distractions of social media and a cell phone.

You also avoid a lot of the distractions of materialism.

You've had great success, but you,

unlike many famous directors,

you're driving a car that you've owned for maybe 12 years.

The last one, 17 or 18 years.

Oh, 17 or 18 years.

Okay.

What kind of car is it?

A simple

Fort Explorer.

Okay.

Yeah.

But the most primitive.

I love that's a great.

This is why Fort Explorer is not asking you to do commercials.

Because you're like, Fort Explorer, and then you shrugged, like, what are you going to do?

No, okay,

let's take the name out of it.

Let's no, that's okay.

That's okay.

It's a simple explorer.

No, but I asked for the one with the least amount of digital things in it.

So

no

sort of

phone calls that come in or

Google whatever maps and routing you and so.

And I asked, do you still have a car where I can hand crank my windows?

And they said no, since 12 years it's nobody produces it anymore.

Then I asked do you have a car if my electric system somehow fails me, that I can hand crank the windshield wiper in a thunderstorm.

And they just laugh, but they got the point.

So

I just need four wheels, an engine, and a steering wheel.

Friends

had it, right?

So you also, I don't think you own a lot of clothing or shoes, right?

Do you have how many pairs of shoes?

Basically one pair, but I do have sandals.

Someone's hit the big time.

Take it easy.

You sound like Jesus Christ.

I also have sandals.

Oh, Jesus.

Hitting the big time.

But, Conan, you you will understand as you have been in the Austrian mountains not long ago, I do have strong heavy boots for

being in rocky terrain.

So it's not just one pair of shoes, but basically.

But you keep things very simple.

I don't need do you have a lot of suits and things like that?

No, no, the jacket.

I put it on for you today.

This is the jacket that you want.

What are you, Johnny Appleseed?

Incredible.

No, I actually own

a jacket that's very Bavarian in style.

Yeah, yeah.

And

I actually

own a suit.

But for

very formal sort of events where I would dress up to the occasion.

I do understand.

I didn't used to understand this, but

when it was Maria Kondo's books came out and she started talking about you need to clean out your closet, you need to, these things weigh on you.

That resonated with me that when I have a lot of stuff,

it has a psychic weight, which doesn't really make sense, but it feels like it does.

And

it doesn't mean I'm going to have less.

Oh,

you're not learning from it.

Oh, no.

You're not adjusting.

I have 15 homes.

I've never been to 12 of them.

But I won't let anyone else stay in them

because they're mine.

No, but it's

I do understand the principle of it.

Well, the principle is

the observation that we are ruining our environment because of two major reasons, underlying reasons.

Number one, we are too many for this planet.

We are using eight or nine billion, nine thousand million human beings, and

the resources of our planet are not sufficient.

So we are

drafting

our account here on this planet.

And the second thing is consumerism.

There are a great amount of human beings on this planet and growing are into consumerism.

And you see it with emerging countries.

They are wildly into consumerisms and that's why I love, for example, the Amish.

The Amish who

do not want to have electricity, do not want to drive cars, they have horse buggies, they do not have telephones, television or anything like that.

And let's say if there's a cataclysmic catastrophe, they are the first survivors because they are homestead farmers

and they can provide what they need.

And Inuit, by the way, would also hunter-gatherers would have a real survival if it comes to a cataclysmic catastrophe which is not too far-fetched to think about it.

So and just in in order to understand what's going on, throwing things away is is not the right thing.

It doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel right, Conan, because I grew up as a child of the Second World War.

I was born in the middle of Second World War.

I know what hunger is.

I was hungry, two and a half years of and that's my strongest memory, being really hungry.

And

it pains me.

It pains me to see how people are throwing 40% of the food away into the trash.

It's not that I want to be ideological or being the prophet of anything.

It just pains me.

Pains me and it's not right that we are into this amount of consumerism and it would be very easy to reduce the amount of things that you are throwing away by simply managing your fridge better.

I overlook sometimes something and oh my god, it's gone and it's moldy and I throw it away.

But it doesn't happen very often.

And it's

simply because my experience in life was different than your experience in life.

Most of the people that I encounter here,

Not that you have to adopt my ways of life, but it's healthy to look a little bit about how we are in a culture of consumerism.

It has to be a profound influence on you, the way that you were born into that cataclysmic event and then experienced hunger, which is the most primal, really,

deprivation you can feel.

And I know, and

I know I, as one of six kids kids in a family, I didn't know hunger, but I knew the fear of my brothers taking my food.

And so you'll attest to this, Sona.

I eat like somebody in a prison yard.

I have my arms around my food.

And I'm here, you know, living in Los Angeles with, you know, everything at my disposal.

And I still.

eat my food very quickly and my eyes dart around

because I think Neil's going to get it if I'm not careful.

And so these things stick with you.

Yeah, but what sticks more to me is not that I was hungry.

It's remembering my mother who could not feed us.

Three boys and she doesn't have enough food to

satisfy the most basic needs.

So in a way you're remembering her pain at not being able to perform

kids get over it easily and it didn't damage me that I was hungry.

It made me me alert, it made me curious, it made me looking around what is not going right here.

My mother, when we were tugging at her skirt and we were kind of wailing and we are hungry and give us something to eat, and she's I remember that moment, she spins around, completely collected and calm.

She says to us, shut up children.

Shut up boys.

If I could cut it out of my ribs, I would cut it out of my ribs, ribs, but I can't.

And she goes on working in whatever she was doing.

And that sticks to me to the seared individuals.

Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

So it's that's much worse for the parents, for the mother, it's much worse

to

be incapable of feeding the children than it's for the children themselves.

We can take a lot.

Yeah.

I'm thinking about, you know, your book brings up all these questions and there's so much to talk about with, obviously with AI and deep fakes and

how we're talking about the search for truth, but everything can be manipulated now and it's only going to, we're just at the beginning.

So I'm curious, are you okay, Werner, with your distinctive voice, your image living on beyond you?

And

I mean, it must have, first of all, I'm sure it exists.

I'm sure

there are

Werner AI

generated.

Yeah, and even before AI, I had at least 30 doppelgangers.

And they speak with my voice, they adopt my accent.

I mean, fine, let's accept my accent as it is,

but they give you advice for difficult situations in your life.

They read books to you, they tell you jokes, they do whatever.

And I thought, yes, experience of self has changed.

And of course with the internet in particular

and

doppelgangers and

fakes of you are rampant out there and I'm sure there are fake conans out there

no one wants to do that yeah there's been no takers they want they want other Werners no one wants another Conan you're making them and everyone

I'm trying to sell them give them away for free no I can live with it easily let let them do the battle out there and let them do the dirty fight out there.

I mean, the topple gang.

Yes.

But I'm thinking right now,

if I could change the directions in my car to being Werner, I would happily do that.

I would happily have Werner telling me to take a left on Crenshaw.

That would fill me with delight.

And

if it enables you to buy another pair of shoes, then everyone wins.

I should be actually the voice of these

systems.

They tell you,

in 500 feet from now,

turn left.

Or get more philosophical.

In 500 feet you should cease to exist.

No,

calmly, calmly intimidating.

Turn left now.

Something like that.

Or else

you have arrived.

Or have you?

Do any of us us really arrive?

We always have a philosophical question.

We must dive to arrive.

Yeah,

it's the journey that's important.

No, it would be great joy if

I would pop up with the voice to give you guidance for turning right or left or going for the next 12 miles straight.

So,

no, self,

the experience of self

is a massive change.

And of course,

I do not want to

put it down completely because it has glorious, magnificent possibilities in science, in pharmaceuticals, in transportation, in you just name it.

But at the same time,

it has already rights on route to take over warfare,

directing drones, and I mean huge swarms of them.

And it will be overwhelmingly

the face of

warfare of the future.

And of course,

cheating, pretending, propagandizing, all these things

are like a nemesis,

it's out there and

we have to be alert to it.

And again, I say, when you're curious and when you

access different sources, very quickly you will find out this is even invented.

Yeah, I've seen movies, short films, completely created by artificial intelligence, story and acting and

everything, and they look completely dead.

They are stories, but they have no soul.

They don't have the spark.

Yeah.

It's not only a spark, it's they are empty and soulless.

And you know, it's a most common, lowest denominator of what is filling billions and billions of informations on the Internet, the common denominator.

And

nothing beyond this common denominator can be found

in these fabrications.

And you will immediately identify it.

You will find it very quickly.

And I have no problem that people are using it, like school kids using it as a tool, the same way we used

dictionaries or encyclopedias in my time or we would use a calculator for for

calculating multiplication or the square root of something fine but you should understand what does it mean a square root of something

what is the mathematical concept behind it what is the mathematical concept of logarithmic curves and things like that.

You have to know that.

If you know that, use the calculator.

That's fine.

It's interesting because when I listen to you, when I speak with you, when I read your work, when I see your films, there's a pattern where things can get quite grim, but then you'll say something that makes me very optimistic.

I find that it's a bit of a wave, you know, which it should be, because you can always see both.

But I find myself, even in this course of this chat we've had, at times feeling like you're telling me we're all in great danger and it's over, but also feeling optimistic at times that if we strive and if we try to see things as they are or we make multiple attempts to find a real truth, we'll get there somehow.

So I always end up with two ends to the story when I talk to you, a bright one and a darker one, which I think is probably okay.

Sure, yes.

And

I love storytelling and I I love what I do.

And of course,

when I listen to you, yes,

you're right.

And it continues until this very day.

I just made a film called Ghost Elephants, a documentary in Africa.

Yeah, Namibia and

Angola.

And what is interesting is that tribal people in the southern part of Africa, Kalahari, Sun, bushmen, tribesmen, they link the fate of humans to

the fate of elephants.

If these elephants disappear, human beings also will disappear because they are

mutually somehow

incorporated in each other.

The soul of elephants lives in you and lives in, in case of these tribal people, lives in our tribal communities.

And it's beautiful to see that.

And

it sounds a little bit as if it were a documentary on

wildlife but you see elephants only for 20 seconds in the film otherwise you see ghosts you see the spirits of elephants and how do you how do you show the spirit of an elephant and that's a big question and and they show the glory and the magnificence of elephants and at the same time as you have suggested yes there's there's this glorious side and the dark side.

If we exterminate them, it will probably lead to our own self-destruction.

And yet, of course, we don't do it completely.

We try to protect them, preserve them, study them, keep them alive.

Yeah.

That's a great way to look at environmentalism is do it for ourselves, not for not to be noble, but these creatures need to endure so that we can endure.

Sure.

And

it's more than just enduring and

today as we are around and about and still thriving, I do not want to live in a world without lions, period.

I just want to see them around

or without elephants.

Is there an animal you hate that you're fine if we get rid of this?

Well, yeah, I'm worried about spiders.

Yeah, I just wanted you to admit, so it's okay to kill this.

If you're listening, kill a spider.

Yes.

And a spider, a tarantula that didn't sting me or bite me almost killed me once.

I was in the jungle in

the Peruvian.

But not a bite?

It had a gun?

No, no, no.

We were desperately trying to get a flight, a single-engine flight, amphibious flight, far out into a small tributary of the Amazon.

And I was woken up every night.

Ah, the plane is there.

So it wasn't there.

So I went back to sleep.

Suddenly at four in the morning wake up wake up get out get get up the plane is there so i put on some clothes put one shoe on and the other and there's a sock still in there and i grab into the shoe and pull it out and it's a tarantula i mean almost hairy as big as my fist

and i dropped the tarantula and i and my heart stopped beating.

It literally stopped beating.

And I knew it.

And I thought to myself, dying from a heart attack is ridiculous.

Not because of a tarantula that

has not even bitten you.

And I was sitting there and I was looking at the tarantula and tried to listen at my heartbeat, which wasn't there anymore.

And then after twenty seconds or thirty seconds, all of a sudden,

I was back to life.

So I don't like spiders.

Do you have an edit of our...

My favorite quote of yours from one of the previous podcasts was you talking about your favorite reality or a reality show that intrigued you.

And

it's burned into my brain, and I hope to burn it into everyone else's.

Give it a roll, Eduardo.

Here comes honey boo-boo.

That just makes me happy.

You enunciating boo-boo.

Gives me so much joy.

Do you still watch Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo or have you moved on to Love Island?

No,

I'm still searching around.

Honey Boo-Boo, of course, you made something beautiful out of it.

I had no idea that it would have such repercussion

in your spiritual life.

Oh, it's huge.

It's the only reason I get out of bed in the morning.

Okay, because I think of.

And when I'm down, I think of you saying honey boo-boo, and it makes me very happy.

I had no idea that it was that funny, but I accept it.

And

today I enjoy myself because you made it into such a wild thing.

Well, a joy to talk to you always, Werner.

And I'm in awe of your spirit and your tenacity and your curiosity.

These are all great qualities and we can all.

I should get a bracelet.

What would Werner do?

You know, because I think you have a terrific outlook on life.

And

I'd like to be a little more like Werner Herzog.

So, Werner, until we meet again, thank you so much for being here and for honoring us with your presence and your insights.

I enjoy to be with you on this table.

Thanks a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

And yes, look for if you want to request that Werner Herzog become a directional vocals on your.

You can actually do that on the Waze.

Speaking of app, on the Waze app, you can plug in a few little things.

So probably there are enough sound bites from this recording

Turn left and I'm worried about spiders.

So look for that soon.

All right.

Thank you, Werner.

Thanks.

As a team mobile member, you can take the perks with you because you're traveling with magenta status.

Cool.

I love saying it.

I know.

I could tell.

Ask me my status.

Hey, Conan, what's your status?

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That's cool.

And this magenta status sounds amazing.

Blai, tell me, I think you get magenta status.

What's it entail?

What's included in magenta status?

Yeah, I have T-Mobile.

I have had T-Mobile for a long time.

I love it.

And, you know, when we went to Thailand, I got great coverage and great high-speed data, which means that I could.

I hear it's up to 15 gigabytes.

That's right.

How did you know that?

That's the word.

Wow.

I hear people going 15 gigabytes.

Yeah, that's incredible.

Yeah.

But it was great.

I was connected and it really helped.

Well, this sounds great.

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Yeah.

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No, no, you walk with a dignity, a purpose that I've never seen you have before.

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Well, I'd like to discuss

not the elephant in the room, but Sona's dog in the room.

Okay.

Sona, this is a first.

I sat down at the mic, like any professional, ready to go, when in my peripheral vision I look to my right and I see that Okie your dog is with you okie has been a fixture for a long time when did you get social girl well we were just talking about this we got her in September 2018 and this podcast premiered November 2018 so okie is pretty much

the same exact same age

as the podcast.

Yes.

And the same amount of downloads.

Do you guys ever think about what what your animals sound like?

Yeah.

Mine are like, oh,

oh,

mine is, feed me, fucking feed me all day long.

Feed me, feed me.

I brought, I'm worried she's a little depressed lately because she's been under our bed a lot.

She used to like roam around, but I think she's just not used to the change of scenery.

So she's just been in under the bed.

She's checked under the bed.

There might be like half a ham back there.

Oh, no, the half ham.

We left it there.

I forgot.

No, she's just, I don't know.

I just brought her.

Now, Okie.

Let's talk about Oki.

Of course, famously,

you brought Oki to a restaurant once when you're going to meet me because you thought, well, I'm eating with Conan.

They don't allow dogs at the restaurant, but I'll bring Okie because who's going to say boo to Conan O'Brien?

So you used, did you use me?

Yes, I did use you.

I did.

Who is going to say?

I mean, look,

it was outdoors.

You're making me sound really shitty right now.

You used to do this when you would drive me places.

You would go like 110 miles an hour in a residential zone, and your whole attitude was, What are they going to do if they pull me over?

I'm sitting here with

the golden child.

Have you ever?

You know, we don't have to talk about this, but you've been pulled over and they haven't given you a ticket.

You know what they do?

What?

They pull me over and they say, Sir, do you realize, holy fuck?

And I go, well, yes, officer, I am.

So much work, so prolific.

September 13th, 1993, up until the present day.

Every medium you try, a total home run.

Officer, please.

Officer, do you need a change of pants?

I do.

And then they always let me wear their cap.

They give me candy.

And shoot their gun, probably.

They let me shoot their gun.

They let me shoot their gun um yeah it's uh it's amazing yeah but you make me sound bad i did it was outdoors we were meeting outdoors at a restaurant they probably there weren't any other dogs there but i don't i don't think i explicitly explicitly said no dogs oh you walked in holding your dog sat down opposite me yeah

a woman at the next table went into anaphylactic shock because she was allergic to dogs.

She is no longer with us.

She died.

Yeah.

Did she?

Yeah.

And you told me.

Oh, but Oki got to sit down.

I said, we should use a penknife and make a small opening in her trachea so she can breathe.

And you said, on it, chief, and stabbed her to death in the throat.

I heard about this.

Yeah.

It was all over the papers, the papers.

And then you let Oki just go feed from everybody's plates.

Yeah.

And from her wound.

But they didn't arrest me because I was with Conan.

Yeah, they couldn't.

They said, you're technically guilty of murder, but

Conan!

TV God three times,

Rolling Stone twice.

You were one of Us magazine 75 bachelors in 1995 to quote, keep an eye on.

Is that real?

I don't know.

I think that last one's kind of true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaking of the early days of this podcast, Oki played kind of a pivotal part because one of the earliest segments we did, and we should recount this story at least in a nutshell, is the text between you and Conan about Okie.

Do you remember this?

I don't.

The Okie shits.

Remember when I text you as like, Okie

shit everywhere, and there's throw up, and I gotta stay and clean it up, and then I'll be in.

And I read it which way?

You read it as, I'm gonna be late.

Okay, I shit everywhere.

Yes!

Yes!

The dog's name is Okie, and this is a blast in the past, but and what a blast.

But you said, Okie shit everywhere.

And I read

yeah, I'm going to be late.

Okay, I shit everywhere.

And I thought, wow,

TMI.

We were talking about this before.

The sentiment and the reading of it is like, I'm going to be late.

Pause.

Like, all right, you got me.

I'm late because I shit everywhere.

No one asked me.

Yeah, and I just pictured you firing at the walls.

But

don't picture it.

But then.

Too late.

And every listener is now, too.

And then remember you got that second dog?

Huh?

Yeah, its name is, I have to be honest with you.

And you said, remember, I got these texts.

I have to be honest with you.

I.

Yeah.

Was the name of the dog was I have to be honest with you, I.

And it was all ran together.

I have to be honest with you, I was the name of the dog, which is an Armenian term, meaning bright sun come over mountain.

And anyway,

yeah.

And you said, I have to be honest with you, I humped

the leg of a chair for three hours with my eyes rolled back in my head.

And I said, What?

And you said, yeah, I have to be honest with you, I

has an erection that won't go away and has gone for nine hours straight.

Remember this?

Do you remember your dog to tell the truth?

I

to tell the truth, I licked my own butt for a long time.

And then remember you got a cat called Don't Tell Anyone.

This is just between us, but I.

Remember that?

These are all true stories.

Did you ever think of Fido or Arth or Snoopy?

No.

Oh, no.

Poor Okie.

Okie, they're using you for comedy fodder.

You know what?

You can tell Okie knows what's happening because Oki has just sunk his head, her chin down onto your leg and is just in a depressive funk.

Yeah, she's mocked once again.

I can't wait to get back under that bed and nibble that half ham.

Oh my god.

Why do you keep hams under the bed?

Is that a smart?

I love ham.

Okay.

Why wouldn't you keep ham under the bed?

So you're sleeping and you've got your eye mask on and you just do a reach under and grab a hunk?

Pre-bedtime ham hunk.

I love that.

See on the floor just getting dusty.

Yeah,

all covered in collecting a lot of things.

Yeah.

It's seasoned.

It's getting seasoning.

The dust actually makes it taste a little better.

So you guys should try it.

Bed ham.

Bed ham.

Well,

I enjoyed this segment.

I really did.

I'm glad you brought it up.

And I'm glad you brought it up.

I'm going to reach over and give Oki.

What's the name Oki come from?

So when Tak and I were in Japan, we were in Okinawa for our honeymoon for a chunk of it.

And then

my friend Nairi posted her.

picture on Instagram and said that they were looking for a home for her.

So to remember where we were, we called her Oki, which is short for Okinawa.

Okay.

You had a really nice wedding.

We had 550 people.

It was insane.

It was great.

It was really fun.

That's not a wedding.

That's a convention.

Yeah, it was a convention.

Yeah.

I wish I knew you back then.

I would have invited you.

It would have been crazy.

People throw money on the floor.

You're dancing on money the whole night.

Awesome.

And then did you guys hear someone in Glendale stole like the money from a wedding?

What?

Yeah.

Well, just so everyone knows, Armenian weddings, you throw money in the air.

Yes.

You throw money in the air.

There's money everywhere.

It's $1 bills.

Well, some of them are like fives.

Not at your wedding.

How dare you!

Because I was going through, I was looking hard for a fiver.

I would take a five.

I would have taken a two.

They were all singles.

I'm sorry.

It looked like there was an explosion at the scores trip club.

But there were a lot of ones.

And then there's no registry usually.

It's just envelopes of cash.

And so you put them in a box, and some guy came into a hall in Glendale and then like stole the whole box of money.

It must have been like $100,000.

Oh, wow.

Crazy.

There's video.

You see him like Santa Claus.

Do we know who he is?

Has he been caught?

No.

But they have him on video.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it's fresh.

It's fresh.

It's like, it just happened.

You should have a crime show where nothing's ever solved, but you have that exact

optimistic tone.

And they never figured it out.

Yes.

Never.

And they called him the Zodiac.

Yeah.

And no one figured it out.

Anyway, next week, this guy went in the woods and he's just gone.

I don't know.

Did they find him?

I don't know.

Isn't it great?

Yes.

That's a great podcast.

I'm going to do it.

Well, listen, I'm going to wrap this up because I think we've gone on for quite a while, but we had some good laughs.

I do love Okie, especially you bought him.

I remember, or you had it made, her.

I'm sorry, her.

You know, different pronouns, I suppose.

Who knows?

You bought Okie a little slash hat because you love slash from Guns N Roses.

She was a slash for Halloween one year.

She had a little leather jacket and then a little...

She had a little hair.

Yeah.

And we just got her groom, but usually she's like fluffy and she was slash-like.

It was awesome.

Very cool.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, peace out.

She's the coolest dog in the world.

Peace out.

And don't say Tupac.

No, I was going to say, I was going to say slash.

Oh, okay.

That's very cool.

You could say it.

Yeah.

Saul Hudson.

Love him.

Yeah.

What a great guy.

He's the best.

Good friend to us.

We've touched on many subjects.

We've roamed.

We came up with some amazing dog names.

If you want to use them, we will lease them to you.

Peace out.

Saul Hudson slash Tupac.

Saul Hudson slash Tupac.

Yeah.

And shout out to Sona's other dogs.

I swear to God, you can't tell anybody but I.

And this is a complete cone of silence.

You can never breathe a word of this, but here goes I.

And you have to swear on your life and your mother's life and your father's life that you will never repeat what I'm about to tell you.

I.

Peace out.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovesian, and Matt Gorley.

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